5 Signs You're Being Used - 12 Week Relationships Podcast #22

[@Reikimakesmehappy]

The label of manipulative or not being nice because you are expecting reprocity is wild

[@almarguevarra2787]

I’ve recently ended a friendship with somebody, after looking back I realized he has a classic textbook anti-social personality disorder. He has superficial charm that lured me to him but he only used me for his advantage. He is callous, irresponsible, lacks remorse, he is impulsive and reckless, failing to consider or disregarding the consequences of his actions. Blames me for the wrong things he did. It was so toxic that I had to leave.

[@albuleneahmeti6916]

Despite the great lessons we learn here, the colour and nature of your voices and the way of talking is sooooo enjoyable to listen to.

[@Lisa_688]

I love this conversation and love your channel. I don’t agree though with the idea that doing nice things for people is necessarily manipulative. I do lots of nice things for people with no ulterior motive and without keeping tabs. (Yes, I am a person who struggles with saying “no”). Occasionally, however, with a few friendships, there comes a point when it becomes obvious to me over time that certain relationships are not reciprocal because the situation has become so one-sided. Having that realization after the fact and over time doesn’t mean you’re “keeping score” or you had “manipulative” motives when you did nice things in the first place. To make an observation that a situation or friendship is not reciprocal it is necessary to evaluate behaviors of both parties, including your own. It just means you’ve made an observation that you are being used. I disagree with the premise that making such an observation means you’re somehow “keeping score”; that’s not true at all (at least it’s not true for me that I’m aware of). Also, I get why you were initially upset about the girl asking to see Tom Brady while you’re on your first date with her (that was rude) but seriously, what did you think, that after your almost first date you had some sort of claim on her? Obviously she and Tom Brady had a connection and there comes a time when you need to let go and accept what is. This story about ending your friendship with Tom Brady a year and a half later because he took your girl (who turned out to be his first love) is such a weird thing to do and I think shows you as lacking empathy, not him.

[@karenharvey442]

Isn't it rather weird that the girl accepted the date to gain access to his friend?

[@jeffreyerb7139]

⁠@@karenharvey442 that’s the real factor in this scenario. IMHO Tom is relatively innocent with the information provided. Any adult would pick up on the romantic underpinnings going on, which still sucks - and I’ve been both guys before - but as teenagers you don’t really know or understand your own emotions let alone others. So even Giselle is mostly excused. For all we know her emotions and desires could have changed within the hour she was hanging out with Pye. As such I consider pretty much all behavior before the age of 25 ish as learning opportunities and trends rather than any pathology. Hopefully they all learned from it. And ideally they all were prepped with the skills to step back learn from the enormous complexity of adult romantic relations versus over-assume anyone’s true nature.

[@nairadevi2182]

I think, regardless of Pye’s maturity and emotional intelligence at the time which for a person around 19-20 years of age isn’t much to brag about since they are still going through puberty (which last until 25). It was more a lack of experience coupled with maybe low self esteem. Blaming the victim kind of says that 1) you shouldn’t expect your best friend to respect and have boundaries around your love interest, 2) It’s okay for a girl to pretend she’s interested in you and want therefore to go on a date with you, just for her, DURING that same date start to hit on your BEST FRIEND. Ever heard of loyalty towards friends? Respect for your friend and also your coworkers? Accountability starts way before puberty, Gisele and Tom doesn’t seem to have learned that.

[@abbyxiong3931]

Thank you for doing this. This helped me understand why I attracted the narcissistic type personality. I can relate to Pye's father. I can relate to Dr. Glenn also. I come from being raised in a big family environment. I basically struggle for a long time telling people "no."

[@falisiakhan8375]

I am dealing with a narcissist but could not understand until I start watching your videos, you guys make it so easy to see, understand and I am done asking questions

[@karenharvey442]

Enlightening to look at the inverse position in order to change my behaviour in reinforcing boundaries. Particularly recognised some of the 'roles' people 'play' so I can let them run without stepping into the drama. Thank you.

[@astro_press]

So good towards end of video when Dr. roleplays the way to work with a narcissist!😊❤Excellent! Thank u!

[@myaalberto2959]

Thank you gentlemen… Wow!!!! Love your podcast dropping so many knowledge!!! I am like a sponge absorbing all this 🙏🏼. Keep the hot topics coming!!!

[@justjoking2275]

Loved it ! Keep the good work guys ! Helping me understand what my relationship was

[@jasmineandthebunnies4190]

Thank you so much for your podcast. How to avoid a negative relationship?

[@Duckrobber101]

I was in a Situationship with a man who is thinking his the best one side but non confident himself one side, it was very hard to know what’s emotional feelings. But for 7 months, we only see each other once a week about 2-3 hours total and he was texting me everyday day and night, but chatting about unimportant stuff only. He is a good father to his child, but when he mentions that he doesn’t introduce his son to anyone(the woman his dating only), he does hire new babysitters all the time, he brings his son to meet new people, so when he mentions every time when we discuss something, I don’t understand why he says he won’t put his kid on any risk, sounds like I’m the one will hurt his kid. I have my son too, I understand in the beginning, but overtime, it was just too much and wired. Everytime if I brought up something about our relationship, he is gaslighting, just shutting down and silence for days. And to him, he is thinking that’s the way he is protecting his child. So this time silenced for 2 weeks, then I couldn’t hold anymore. So I exposed myself for all my feelings and done. I paid my bills raised my own child, working, a good women, have a nice family, why am I let a man see me as a danger women to his kid, but dating together. Bye to all this toxic.

[@lonimimeseko]

Really love your podcast. I can really relate. Thanks for sharing

[@CoutureButcher]

Thanks for sharing this!

[@theguyinthechair225]

Guuuuys…. THANKS SO MUCH for this one.

[@jeanandersonlscsw2550]

Great info

[@Tacenda-r6j]

Thanks you ! From photography fan to this channel

[@cherylu9716]

I disagree with doing things to get something in return... maybe some.

[@HurricaneIrene07]

I agree that if no one ever gives back, run!

[@cherylu9716]

@@HurricaneIrene07myself, I am kind, considerate and compassionate without expectations

[@alvinsao1655]

This was wholesome

[@fowziaabdi2107]

I always ask myself why I help people all the time but then when i need help or even get stuck on the road I don't have anyone to run to, and i have to call the police to help me? but now i know and one thing I planned to do as of today 01/01/2024 is to say no coz i always felt guilty and help even when it bothers me to please the other people. I took the empathy too far but no more.

[@falisiakhan8375]

Thank you , 🙏

[@eve_339]

The jokes & laughs kill me

[@Sheri-k4b]

That is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.This world is full of good Christian people who believe in God and who want to be helpful to people obey God do the right thing. And they are not selfish and they are not doing it for their own gratification

[@rachelmejia753]

Thank you, this was very eye opening