13 Warning Signs You Might Be In LIMERENCE

[@s_gal9900]

Society needs more info on this as it relates to the increase in social media.

[@ivywildwss]

Romantic love, limerence, is a drug my spouse is/was addicted to. He took his marriage and his wife for granted.

[@basilleavesandhoneybees483]

Mine too

[@RajeshKankavlikar]

When a man loves a woman Can't keep his mind on nothing else He'll trade the world For the good thing he's found If she is bad, he can't see it She can do no wrong Turn his back on his best friend If he put her down When a man loves a woman Spend his very last dime Trying to hold on to what he needs He'd give up all his comfort Sleep out in the rain If she said that's the way it ought to be Well, this man loves a woman I gave you everything I had Trying to hold on to your high-class love Baby, ooh, please, don't treat me bad When a man loves a woman Down deep in his soul She can bring him such misery If she plays him for a fool, yeah He's the last one to know Loving eyes can't ever see When a man loves woman He can do her no wrong He can never want some other girl Yes, when a man loves a woman I know exactly how he feels Baby, baby, baby, you're my world When a man loves a woman I know exactly how he feels..!!! This is so true and heartbreaking 💔

[@Stageson6]

So I'm seeing this and it is exactly what I have been through. I wish I could have aeen it before now. I keft my wife of 30 plus years, hurts my kids and grandkids thinking thatvthey will just get over it. I divorced my wife. I have since left the other woman for many reasons. My question is do you have anything that can help my now ex wife and I to repair our relationship after a limerant affair? I feel like such an idiot for what I have done. It might be too late for me. Please, if you are feeling this way Dr. Beam is correct. It is not sustainable and it isn't worth it.

[@RajeshKankavlikar]

Bro why did you leave the other women. Did it not work with the other woman ?

[@MarriageHelper]

We have many resources that would be helpful for you in your current situation. If you'd like to speak to someone on our team about what we have that would be best for you, you can click this link: bit.ly/3T0Fu45 Remember that there is ALWAYS hope, and we're here to walk with you every step of the way.

[@Stageson6]

​@@RajeshKankavlikar Because she was also controlling, manipulative, and a narcissist. I couldn't see all of that because of my limerance I assume. And because I also knew that the decisions I made were not me. I was losing myself and my faith. Just like Dr. Beam said, I made excuses for everything that I believed just so I could be with this woman.

[@sherridevries9144]

@@Stageson6 I'm so sorry you went through this. I'm glad you realize now what you've done. I hope you can find a path forward with your ex if she's willing 🙏

[@RajeshKankavlikar]

@@Stageson6 I feel so sorry for you mate. We get to know only when we start living with that person. Wish they knew what all we had to give up to be with them and then in the end they leave us miserable. It's heartbreaking 💔

[@hightechpickers4365]

unfortunately, many of us grew up in narcissistic families who were uncapable of giving us the unconditional love we needed. That is why we are attracted to people who have no emotional availability, no love to give, just like our families of origin. For me, finding self-love and the love of god helped me a lot in my recovery from my limerence.

[@hennore]

Loved this episode! Appreciate the breakdown of limerence and romantic love 👏🏾 I’m in limerence with Jesus 😍

[@JanetShimaingaMwale]

Many marriages are going through this.. it's really educating.. thanks

[@sherridevries9144]

I love the topic of limerance I know you've covered The PIES a lot, but would love more content on that as well!

[@nicholesidla6233]

It's very interesting but I can't lie, I wish it was just something I heard of vs only hearing about it when my husband was in it and I was trying to figure out what in the world was happening to him.

[@sherridevries9144]

​@@nicholesidla6233I'm so sorry that happened to you. My story is I was the one in limerance and my husband had no idea. I had a full affair. We came out the other side of it still married. Worked through a lot of stuff. I like learning about it cause I see myself in what I'm hearing about and its unreal that I was that person. We listened to a bunch of marriage helper videos during that time.

[@nicholesidla6233]

@sherridevries9144 I'm so glad you got out of that and you made it work with you H. I stood with him through his whole affair (a year) and he did some really really terrible things while I was pretty much stuck watching him do them. It was miserable but he's been NC with the LO now for a year and we are working on our marriage. Its getting better slowly but it's been a rough road for sure. Limerence is a very interesting topic, I talk about it frequently but had I not seen how much it all changed my H, I don't know that I would have believed how bad it could really get. I'm just so grateful I found MH and had them there to help guide me through everything at a time I couldn't have felt more alone. I'm so happy you're learning to understand what you went through and you and you H do it together, that's amazing! Wishing you both lots of love and the happiest of future's!

[@MarriageHelper]

If you want to hear more about the PIES and ways you can work on yourself, Kimberly's podcast "It Starts With Attraction" covers all areas of the PIES. You can find that here! youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

[@zombielandiii2711]

Can anyone tell me what is PIES please?

[@RajeshKankavlikar]

Thank you for this video. Very informative and a revision as well ❤

[@CesarI.]

Thank you Dr. Beam and Kimberly for a very thought provoking video! I am familiar with the CAGE measure have seen it's utility as a good screening tool. I think adopting it to "screen" for limerence is a great insight. I wonder, just throwing it out there, if the Guilt component could also be viewed as guilt more associated with not spending more time with the object of their limerence rather than guilt that the limerence is occurring. Considering limerence can be nearly all consuming, I speculate that perhaps guilt as not as common as we would like. Just a thought, regardless; great video!

[@kennyplay5982]

I never heard until of MH.

[@pistolpete303]

Hi. Unsure if you or anyone still answering questions on the comments, however I was wondering about something. I separated from my wife, and since it happened I've gone through a number of the "symptoms" of limerence. So I was wondering if there can be a sort of reverse limerence, if that makes sense, where you feel the feelings once a separation happens. I hope this makes sense and thank yoi for your work in this channel 🙏

[@thilinasampath705]

thats what you beleive sir!

[@kerrymillar1267]

It’s backed by research, it’s not what he “believes”

[@MrsPFenzel]

I have a question about my husband's affair. He says he stayed in the affair because of selfishness. He knew she was a very disturbed person and had alot of issues but stayed with her anyway. I don't know how to move on from feeling such rejection from my husband because he went from avoiding me all these years to telling me he really really loves me now. Thank you

[@MelModica]

It’s honestly not your fault. I was in limerance for two years after my nephew passed away. It happened while I was in a long time commitment. My partner I am with is an alcoholic and after the death of my nephew I was in so much pain I now see the limerance was an escape from reality just like drugs or alcohol the person you are limerant over becomes like a drug and we project our fantasy onto that person even when we know in reality that person is not perfect. I’m better now and watching videos like this helped. I’m not making excuses but if your husband was stressed over finances or work or the death of a loved one that may have pushed him over the edge. When I was in limerance I felt like it was completely out of my control. The man I was limerant over was a long distance friend I knew for 15 years but I had never met in person and I was seeing him through rose colored glasses so it was the perfect situation to project a fantasy life onto him.

[@taylorhumphreys3579]

This sounds like codependent love addiction

[@meninactionllc5869]

do more on this

[@scottroberts5492]

How would cancer effect this? And can someones LO change overnight?

[@flowerfullgirl_]

is it posible for limerence to turn into trully loving them for ever? like, you know you will be there for them always no matter what? Even if they leave, you will love them? You even feel so confident about really spending life with them and sharing this positive view of love and life and remaining strong no matter the bad or good we might experience, just trully loving each other...

[@jannahnezzar6412]

Yes it’s possible limerence can turn into love for one or both of the partners. But limerence is a bigger high and rush because it’s like a drug. The lows are worse in limerence though.

[@jenniferbarker3137]

Dr beam says only if nothing has to be given up to maintain the relationship. In other words, if both people are single, it can turn into a deeper romantic love. But if one partner has a loss (loss of marriage, loss of being part of kids life, etc.) then it is extremely unlikely it will develop into romantic love.

[@tawanawright3334]

Should I send this to my husband?

[@nicholesidla6233]

If he is in limerence he will likely not see it as such and will try and find a way to explain away the similarities between him and limerence. I highly suggest you look into doing the MH workshop with him. That workshop is what my H calls the "turning point" in his limerence (though it still took awhile) he really started to realize that he was in limerence and it wasn't right, even started using the word but months before I had said something about limerence and he shot the idea down and reiterated that his LO was his "true love". He's been no contact with her now for a year and when we do talk about it he now refers to her as "the devil" because he was tempted and unfortunately fell for it but it was never what he thought it was.

[@hondacr250hrc4]

Can It last 25 years

[@hey_kudisco_podcast]

It can last a lifetime. Get your life back please. Ask yourself, were you madly in love or so starved for human kindness in your past that you cling to anyone that vaguely resembles someone you feel soothed by? In was the latter for me.

[@mariaseppi]

How long does it take to go away?

[@aqua-elle]

I think I've read somewhere that it peaks in a few months time. I've seen it last a few years but could be wrong.

[@mariaseppi]

@@aqua-elle thanks

[@MelModica]

It lasted for me about two years after the death of my nephew I now realize I was in so much pain I was desperately trying to escape reality. Don’t give up hope it will get better and watching videos like this has helped me. The person I was limerant over was a long distance friend and I knew in reality I couldn’t be with him but it was the perfect situation to get caught up in a fantasy land. I was projecting want I wanted on him because I never had that in a real relationship. I’m learning how to be more self reliant and how to keep myself grounded in reality.

[@joewee880]

You mean with our phones? Tablets? Social media? Def not with another human being.

[@user-yf7nn9ut2b]

look up attachementstyles. you are using an extremely easy theory I could explain to someone in elementary school wrongly. You don't change your attachementstyle for one person XD. I am pretty sure the rest of his talk is more his opinion, based on things he did not understand, either.