15 Harsh Psychology Facts That Will Make Your Life Better - Adam Lane Smith

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than KZbin by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:52 Is Couple’s Therapy Pointless? 09:59 The American School System Treats Boys Like Defective Girls 12:46 People Take Comfort in Diagnosable Labels 21:38 Why Men Skip Therapy 30:10 Helping Men Detox from the Red Pill Community 44:23 The Need to Understand the Female Sex Drive 52:51 Most Struggling Couples Actually Have Attachment Issues 58:57 The Problem of People Who Need Therapy but Refuse 1:00:09 Women’s Need for Validation Over Solutions 1:05:49 Dealing with Women’s Lowered Sex Drive in a Relationship 1:09:29 Do You Need Sex Before Marriage? 1:17:02 The Dumbest Mistakes Guys Make on the First Date 1:29:09 Where to Find Adam

[@gilgamecha]

I don't know... . Spotify I can listen to on my Sonos, but KZbin I can watch on my TV.

[@gilgamecha]

I am a subscriber by the way.

[@HouseKarl]

Get this professor guy to go on Rolo Tomassi's pod cast immediately

[@TAPIntegration]

I agree❤

[@ngrey5092]

please find people who can explain to man how to speak so woman do not switch todefense mod and turtle on conversation. I do not know how to say things that I am bothered without somehow to end guilty for being alive.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Chris, I think this is our best episode yet. Third time is the charm. To everyone out there enjoying this episode, remember the biggest lesson here is that you can change your relationship patterns and how you connect with other people. Don’t settle for re-creating the past over and over. Do your work and build your future with intention.

[@The813874]

Thanks Doc.

[@solitudessilentgroove]

You should debate Rollo Tomassi. I think some of the stuff you said is erroneous and you don't really understand redpill.

[@davida.taylor8444]

"Don’t settle for re-creating the past over and over." Very well said and my number one fear.

[@solitudessilentgroove]

@@kc6810 Redpill knowledge was crowdsourced and evaluated by 10s of thousands of men in the real world dating scene, not one man. Rollo just happens to be the most articulate and trusted purveyor of that knowledge. Redpill has a much larger sample size than any study, or one psychologist's anecdotal experiences.

[@italnkicbxr]

I wish you could have taught your knowledge to me when I was a teenager. Would have saved me a lifetime of regret and misery.

[@Garblegox]

School wanted me put on pills for ADD. My mom told the doctor, "He's a fun boy. He's good natured and energetic and he makes everyone laugh. I'm worried this will turn him into a zombie." "You'll get used to it." he said. My mom burst from his office, and dragged me from the lobby, absolutely enraged. I'm very lucky. Most kids didn't have a mom like mine.

[@SamStone1964]

So the zombie apocalypse is a real thing.

[@kate-wo1pg]

💜💜💜

[@ethan-sq6zv]

Wow

[@jonathancortez3003]

Holy fuck, that is not a doctor I would want anyone to go to. Jesus christ

[@eneveasi]

I was lucky where my doctor himself said no to giving me the pills. Idk why so many people want to give hard stimulants to children. It really should be the last thing used

[@DanielLopez-mr7nu]

Didn't know the guy ten minutes ago. It's only been ten minutes and I can only think "this guy is beyond incredible" Such good guest, one of the best ones I've seen, absolutely amazing

[@Tekorekore]

Chris has become one of the most competent interviewers on the internet.

[@KnowleDJ]

💯

[@MattFoleysGhost]

Right?! I didn’t tune in at first but his content and approach is going to win the long game.

[@Dasein000]

Nah the bbc has the best... lol

[@JimTheProducer]

Agreed. Or at least he is resonating with his age group.

[@RegularSizeRick]

Agreed. I like him more than Rogan. He actually takes and articulates a position.

[@anissaferringer4965]

At the end of my last first date I asked a guy if we were now "mutually exclusive." I don't understand how people are ok with so much haziness around relationships they could date for years without knowing where it's headed! I was really into him, so if he said no it wouldn't have immediately been a deal breaker, but I would have known to keep looking myself. As it is, we have been married 23 years.

[@okaySam]

I agree but those times are long gone.

[@IL_Bgentyl]

It’s because you’re never really rejected and you don’t leave anything off the table. For me I always make it clear. Until we’re dating we should see other people as well. Imo it’s dumb to say I’m dating someone just to hookup for a few weeks.

[@moonknight4053]

Even unattractive women can get more guys than vice versa plus your line can go either way nowadays. Meaning a guy can say this but I feel he should take a little longer to get to know a girl.

[@samuelgizaw7899]

has he told you if its mutually exclusive yet lol?

[@anissaferringer4965]

@@samuelgizaw7899 it's sure not an open marriage haha

[@Mr539forgotten]

"It's ok to be sad, that doesn't mean you're depressed. It's ok to be worried, that doesn't mean you have anxiety. It's ok to experience trauma, that doesn't mean you have PTSD." This genuinely needs to be a "live, laugh, love" poster and I would genuinely buy it.

[@alana.8593]

That statement is so powerful, it makes you feel okay

[@Ashnesss]

Lol it’s not okay if it can be AVOIDED. Trauma can be avoided especially if it’s unnecessarily caused by third parties, who could alternatively grow the hell up, find better things to do, get busy and mind their own business! For instance, I was stalked, bullied, harassed and locked in the house by a psycho stranger, who lonely and single. I rejected him. His routine involved ruining my life at the expense of his own personal growth and progress. He hasn’t even had first job. No guy has approached me like him. He encouraged 3 other people to intrude in my privacy as well. Watching, listening, commenting and reacting like maniacs. No one has ever approached me like this before and no one ever will. It’s offensive and rude. They didn’t ask for permission. They simply asked third parties to be their eyes and ears, intruding in my privacy. It’s disgusting and I will never forgive it. None of them have EVER approached me or asked for my number. But they can find the time to intrude in my privacy, while they all want privacy for themselves and don’t want to disclose any information about themselves. They have spied on me. Gossiped about me. Watched me in the privacy of my OWN home, when I wouldn’t even trust them in a public setting. They’re weird AF! No people skills. No social skills. No communication skills. No class. No grace. They disrespect boundaries. Dirty people with no manners. Never in my life, have I encountered such dirt my malicious rude behaviour before. They want privacy but intrude in my private. They’re cheap as hell. Trashy. I’ll remember them for their behaviour. I hope and pray that whatever they did to me, is done to them. Don’t do to others, what you don’t want done unto you.

[@GodPilledZen]

Basic as quote idk how yall betas get a hard on for it

[@rationalselfish]

I love the way you open shows. Forget 10 minutes of introduction, just ask a productive question.

[@nomadic_orthodox]

I'm so thankful you bring all these life-positive and informative people on your podcast, whom a lot of us would've otherwise never found.

[@Alessandro-pb5eh]

This guy is amazing. I've never felt so understood in my life.

[@kefvedie]

If only there where way more therapist like this guy

[@MaxSoininen]

@@sole__doubt every therapist I have met blames my struggle on the patriarchy. Sucks to live in a country where that educational field is full of commies.

[@sliceofpai]

I've learned so much from Adam, he's a very articulate and educational storyteller. I also know first-hand that he's a genuinely good person through interactions I've had with him on Instagram. He deserves every success in the world, thanks so much Chris for helping him with that.

[@Smitlors]

My brother died in 2021 the day before his 46th birthday it was really bad and made me struggle with things i have never experienced before like anxiety and depression and it is horrific man it just takes time to come through it but you have to want to get better not feel hopeless the hope for a better tomorrow will drag you through great episode mate

[@gilgamecha]

That explanation for male suicide makes perfect sense.

[@spencerc1423]

there is no greater pursuit for man than the pursuit of purpose.

[@JezaLoki]

Why are we talking about male suicide when a whopping 1 in 5 victims of suicide are women ???

[@canchero724]

​@@JezaLoki because the male suicides are responsible for female distress. We need to solve male suicide to help women as they're the only ones who matter.

[@paddington1670]

purpose with reason

[@nullprop]

@@JezaLoki 4/5 are gamers :>)

[@U.F.O_0908]

The single best interview on this channel. Positive, life affirming information such as this is hard to come by, and I hope it reaches millions of men and women around the world.

[@powerliftingpremedcrafter473]

Beautifully said

[@lennny2218]

How funny, I listened through both of your videos with Adam from a year ago at work today and thought "Wow, I wanna hear more about this". And then you post another video with him just a few hours later 😂 I consider myself blessed, and more educated than yesterday. Thanks Chris!

[@TheWewanater]

I was in the middle of the original one today thinking the same thing.

[@sergeymyasnikov736]

Same here. Statistically normal, but feels weird, huh

[@psychlops924]

S Y N C H R O N I C I T I E S When life syncs up like that, follow it. Life (God, the Universe, whatever you believe) will put things in front of you to guide you on your path, if you're willing to follow it.

[@sunmoonstars3879]

How do you find time to listen to two videos like this at work? When I was working I barely had time to go for a pee let alone watch KZbin videos.

[@sergeymyasnikov736]

@@sunmoonstars3879 try becoming android developer. Write 2 lines of code, press "build" - voila, you've got yourself another 20 minutes for your leisure activities. I work around 2 to 3 hours a day and earn like 20 times the average wage in my country. Try it, programming is 😊

[@theninjaofmusic]

I got an ADHD diagnosis in college and chose to take medication and still do. I have that kind of entrepreneurial spirit but i have very little risk tolerance. My medication has enabled me to get a degree, have a healthy relationship with my beautiful wife and hold down a high paying job. There are people it helps but the victim mentality is something that is very seductive. I've gotten to the point where basically the only accommodation i ask from my employer are the few times i forget my meds, or i need to pick them up from the pharmacy that morning. My meds in general just reduce the amount of detrimental symptoms i need to manage in order to succeed. If i felt like i could maintain and continue to build on the life i have built for myself without them i would stop taking them. But i love the life i've built and want to continue building an even better one.

[@AndreawiththeBangs]

1:09:16 I teared up at this point…hearing about the number of women who have not received deep and secure love from a father/father figure. My father died when I was very young, yet somehow I was blessed with my strong, kind and loving husband. My hope is that these women looking to connect with a secure and confident man will be able to find him, that more men will be able to find their own healing and step up to become men of worth ❤❤❤

[@vklnew9824]

There's no helping them.

[@__-bz7wh]

Those men have already tried and failed and most of them are burned out.

[@otaku4Gaijin]

​@@randalldraco3822 A better translation would be reading the Book of Ephesians.

[@Shortstacksandticktacks]

@@randalldraco3822 A secure confident man doesnt let himself be used as an ATM. We dont want that, just like you dont want a 304. Please go to therapy and get help.

[@Honeyslider__]

The section about Women needing validation over solutions was amazing for me, I even rewinded it so my partner could listen. He couldn't help but laugh because we do this all the time, I want to chat about work, he wants to tell me what to do, he asks me where to go for dinner, and I'm too overwhelmed by all the decisions I've had to make all day. I'm glad he laughed though because we now both realize what the issue is and we now have more understanding of each other. All from just a 7min part of this interview. Thank you! Keep up these amazing interviews. You have trumped the Diary of a CEO for me.

[@sweeper240]

Diary of a CEO is kind of lame... odd they both use the same shade of teal for their titles

[@kayleebaginski]

Adam is SPOT ON with the information he gives at 1:08:22. I've never been sexually active, but I even still have that same deep-rooted issue that Adam describes about women longing for long-term relationship yet still hooking up in order to receive that validation and at least feel loved from somewhere! What an amazing episode. This is so real and I love it. I really appreciate the advice that he gives to women on the male sex drive fundamentals. I also especially appreciate that men still do want/desire connection and mission, but it just looks different from women. I feel that this information makes me more confident for success in my future relationships.

[@ona3666]

I am sooo grateful for this channel. I am a woman, I completely agree with the description of your guest. But the way he explains how men think and process things is priceless. Noone is talking about that. Content like this helped me massively with improving my romantic relationships. Understanding is key. I'm also so grateful for putting focus on the popular narration based on hatred between sexes. It's absolutely dreadful to observe. We are not enemies, men and women, we don't want to hurt each other, we only don't understand each other too often

[@Opal5674]

Men are my enemy's. speak for yourself.

[@ona3666]

@@Opal5674 you speak for yourself. You're a promile, I'm talking about majority of healthy people, not sick and toxic that are among all sexes

[@ona3666]

@@Opal5674 speak for yourself, again. And change your environment instead of pouring venom everywhere

[@Opal5674]

@@ona3666 My environment is a man free as it can be. Nothing that's legal I can do to reduce it further

[@ona3666]

@@Opal5674 if that's what helps you, keep doing it. But don't say whole world has to do it

[@julieshaffer7140]

Great discussion. As a young girl I experienced some intense trauma. When I relate the stories people always insist I must have PTSD. Yet I just don’t feel that. I hear so much from others about their issues with depression and anxiety and I keep wondering why I don’t have these issues. People insist that there must be something wrong with me because there’s nothing wrong with me.

[@ssykes7]

What I have heard about trauma is that it isn't what happens to a person that determines their outcome, it is what they think about what happened to them. It is the story they tell themselves about it that determines if things like anxiety and depression will manifest. It sounds like you are a very resilient person, which is becomming increasingly hard to find.

[@liyacarolyn6055]

@@ssykes7 good explanation

[@seekerofthemutablebalance5228]

Much like a parent who fusses and makes a huge deal every time a child falls down "cuz they care so much" may actually create a child whose very risk-averse and very sensitive to any pain, versus the parent who appears to love them less by not making a big deal out of it and just tell them to walk it off, will likely lead to less risk aversion and greater resilience.

[@Justanothercog24]

If I can shed some light here... 1. The ppl who try to diagnose without a degree are horribly irresponsible & tbf, kinda idiotic. 2. PTSD goes waaaay beyond anxiety & depression. It can pop up in attachment styles, compensation, oversharing, focus issues, how you approach work or social issues, etc etc. Regarding diagnosis, it can even be mistaken for things like adhd & other personality disorders because there can be so many overlapping symptoms. 3. The idea mentioned about "how you think of it" isn't quite it. Researchers are actually finding the severity is more dependent on the amount of support one recieves directly following an incident. The reason "how you think about it" doesn't quite make sense is because there are plenty of ppl who block out & can't even remember their own trauma who still end up affected by it. Trauma effectively rewires the brain in ways & it takes a lot of mental & emotional consistency & work to rewire so that the brain responds differently. I had a lot of childhood trauma but I put a huge focus on understanding myself, my triggers, coping skills & understanding it so much that I started studying trauma-related physch & neurology at 14 as a hobby (so 20+ yrs now). I have ptsd & it would be impossible for me not to given my circumstances, but it took over a decade to get an official diagnosis because I'm not "clinical enough". I have control over my mental state instead of the other way around, but it took A LOT of work for me to get there. I do also get the "therapy" & diagnosis talks from ppl which is honestly annoying. It simply shows how ppl view trauma through a narrow-minded & low-key negative lens, even if they don't realize they're doing it... ironically, that only points to their own lack of self-awareness lol.

[@eaudedogue]

PTSD is only possible if you choose to drag your past around with you as if it may become an accepted form of currency at some point in the future.

[@ruthmaryrose]

Dr. Smith got my attention when he said that people make a decision when they’re one year old to not be hurt again. That is what I want to explore. Forty years ago I decided not to pursue Matt because I didn’t know how to talk to a man about serious things.

[@andrewkain7518]

This guy has a real gift of being able to speak about the complexity of human emotion in a simple and understandable way. Incredible episode. Adam Lane Smith is the man!

[@davinajanes6275]

If 1 in 7 boys is diagnosed with ADHD, then by proxy, the doctors are wrong in their diagnosis and treatment. Yet we continue to trust their advice, even though it is repeatedly wrong.

[@hanswoast7]

What if the doctors are usually right and there are reasons why boys are suffering that we could tackle?

[@lodinblood]

Isn't there an better way to diagnose ADHD?? Isn't the actual def. The lack or comprised dopamine which is why ppl stop paying attention because it not getting any reward from the brain. Can't we scan brains and do blood tests? I say this without the cost of such diagnosis

[@sergeymyasnikov736]

Why can't it be similar to rape statistics? If 1% of men do 99% of rapes, why couldn't it be the case that 99% of erroneous diagnosi(or whatever the plural of 'diagnosis' is) of ADHD are handed out by 1% of 'bad' doctors, compromised by big pharma?

[@ssykes7]

@@lodinblood I think the thing that makes using that metric so hard, is also the reason why 1 in 7 boys are being diagnosed with ADHD. There are some people who have by default lower levels of dopamine functioning the right way. Then there are the people who spend so much time every day doing excessively dopamine stimulating things that make everything else pale in comparison. Video games and social media like tiktok and youtube are designed to be addictive to the attention functions of our brains and to such a degree that our brains are not equipped to deal with. So the same symptoms (and probably relevant brain scans) you see in someone with a by-default low level of dopamine function that qualify them as ADHD are also now presenting in a huge percentage of the population because we have created technology our brains are not well adapted to handle. Given a few weeks away from technology, these peoples symptoms would disappear but we have intertwined our lives so much with it that taking that long a break is rare. We also don't understand how the brain and genes work well enough to know what exactly causes the by-default low levels of dopamine function or scan/test for it.

[@steeltrap3800]

@@lodinblood There is NO current way to measure dopamine. Nobody knows what is 'normal'. That's WHY the treatment is itself also diagnostic; give a central nervous stimulant to someone without any evidence of dopamine impairment and you see a VERY different result.

[@stacyliddell5038]

I know couples who went to therapy before they got married. They were advised to do so before any troubles started and it seems to work wonders.

[@aina3387]

It is common practice in Christian circles. Some churches won't even marry you without it.

[@IHavent82Day]

Yeah some religious people do what’s called a “covenant marriage.” Which means, for one thing, they do counseling for months before the wedding

[@ashtynmcauliffe442]

Love to hear the mention of a Waldorf school!!! Homeschooling my bright and lively 9 year old boy using a lot of Waldorf influence and forest school influence. He’s excelling and it’s beautiful. My heart goes out to all the kids who don’t fit in the square backpacks 💕

[@hollowedboi5937]

I just had counseling with the college psychiatrist referral person and they said exactly that, “sounds like you need a more open-ended action-based therapy session cuz you know what you need just help to do it and process it.”

[@alexlitt8409]

My Father is an”ADHD” kid, but never took meds. He was always reprimanded at school but my Grandparents knew how to guide him as an out of the box thinker. He is a phenomenal entrepreneur, highly skilled, lots of interesting hobbies, loves people, and I had such a unique childhood growing up with all these experiences into my life from him. I too “dealt” with school but had him as an outlet to be more “out of the norm” and appreciate it deeply.

[@KawadaNami]

I agree with the good doctor. It may be Chris' best episode yet. And that's saying something, I have loved so many of them! Also, I am amazed by how well Adam understands women, that is utterly unbelievable. I have never seen any man with such a deep understanding of our fears and motivations, which every woman knows implicitly but does not vocalize much. Astounding!👏

[@lilbroomstick7914]

Great interview. Great content. My one caveat is I wish Chris pressed him more on female responsibilities/pitfalls/being held accountable in the modern mating crisis. This guest gave tons of words holding men accountable and discussing steps for men, but the guest barely talked about the role women have played in modern mating crisis and what their thoughts are on that specifically. That’s a huge component.

[@okaySam]

Yup. It's all the mens fault as per usual. Good interview though. Lots of good insight..

[@Donotcare6]

My thoughts exactly. He blamed men on everything

[@michaelwhittaker5537]

@@Donotcare6 Devil's advocate - if men want solutions and women just want to be heard, which sex is most likely to respond positively to advice given to them by a stranger on the internet?

[@voccessbg5396]

The guest is specialized in working with men on solving issues on their end. He speaks practically from that experience and offers constructive advice. Why not being open to that instead of always stearing into the "blame the other" practice? What good does this bring and how does it actually solve the personal issues men have? Own your issues, fix them and then you will find a compatible partner. Those who really care about their lives, do this. I did this. It is far more rewarding than any tired old redpill trope which only keeps you stuck in relational mediocrity. Good luck.

[@voccessbg5396]

​@@Donotcare6the fact that you misread practicality and sober advice with blame speaks volumes.

[@DoctorM934]

Was "diagnosed" by my kindergarten teacher with ADHD. Thank God my parents refused the meds. Just got my PhD, so suck on that public school system.

[@solidsnake6377]

Absolute KING 👑

[@castirondude]

One of our boys is super hyper active and can get crazy angry. At 3 years old he smashed like 2 windows in our house with his bare hands, and a whole bunch of toys and things. I thought, you know "anger is an energy" so instead of suppressing the energy or trying to crush it, I worked on focusing the energy in the right direction. And it's working well. He's 4.5 now. Very detail oriented, he's really good at cleaning up, help watch his younger brothers and sister, believe it or not he dresses up in a suit and tie everyday. He can play in the sand and keep it all clean. I don't know how he does it. A boy like him would definitely be on meds bigtime in the public school system and he would have been ruined. We're still working on increasing his attention span but at the rate he's improving that should come together well too.

[@weirdo3116]

Huh. I had the opposite experience. I was off meds for like a decade+ since I was 15 and I only failed more and more. Ended up dropping out of University after spending like 2-3 years there. Glad you got your PhD but that doesn't mean not taking meds is an almost automatic success. It also doesn't mean that taking meds is an automatic success. When talking about ADHD treatment it should be medication in conjunction with solution based therapy where they teach you things you can do to help you manage the ADHD or how to utilize it better.

[@jamestipton7872]

What was your specific method for handling this situation?

[@metarugia3981]

@@castirondude Diet can play a big role in a child's energy expenditure as a lot of kids nowadays consume a lot of energy(sugar) laden foods, and if they don't have a way to expel that energy, it'll become destructive through frustration. The same thing happens with dog breeds that are known to be hyperactive and the solution is to walk them or implement additional exercises into the daily routine to tire them out through energy expenditure or else they can become destructive by chewing on anything they can get their teeth on or dig holes. One of the main reasons why people have doggy issues(unwanted behaviour/destructive) is because their dog/s don't get enough exercise.

[@talisikid1618]

Great analysis of the error of those sites telling men they aren’t to blame. Men and women are to blame and both must take responsibility to make everything right again.

[@51L3NTF1R3]

more interviews and podcasts need how great this was imo - clear, quick, unafraid, concise and direct - i was stunned to witness this exchange and i hope for only more of this style and discussion style going forward 💛✨✅ thank you gentlemen 🙌🏽

[@rocklee619]

Amazing conversation! Most other dating content preaches "Love is bad, women are bad, blah blah blah blah".... thank you for taking the time to produce and share this video 💜💜

[@craigfrober316]

His take on diagnoses is so empowering. Really needed to hear that.

[@CC12398]

Love this! I think for a man or a woman, the advice to recount an event from your recent daily life or ' story' involving family,friends or coworkers(even strangers ) to highlight what you enjoy about people(kindness wit etc) always works out well. No one likes an interview. A free flowing conversation"stories" let's both learn about each other. Great stuff !

[@profeLalo09]

Adam called me out from the beginning. Reflecting back on my old relationships and it makes sense. I'm doing better with my dating life and enjoying every one of my relationships with others

[@mmgilman]

When it comes to the question of "Where do you want to eat?" I use the following process. Most people don't know what they want, but they usually always know what they don't want. So I begin a series of questions. Do you want something light or heavy? Do you want a versatile menu with lots of choices or a restaurant with high quality and fewer choices? Do you want to try something new you've never been to before but will have to drive farther to get to? I give a list of questions to help narrow it down and about 3 - 4 questions in the answer becomes apparent.

[@geraltbiaywilk1788]

I prefer: "hey, i know where i wanna take you today, and i think you will be very happy with that" and when they are like "oh damn, where are you taking me?" just say "guess" and likely they will say something that was on their mind already, or they wanted, but werent aware of. Worst case scenario, you could make them narrow the selection for you, by guessing the cuisine or the type of dining experience they want. Use variety of approaches, so it doesn't become repetetive, or find a style that suits this relationship best.

[@anantachydrupamayam1718]

Best podcast on relationships I've seen so far hands down! Debunking both the red pill and the black pill is soo important right now, those are two extremes and they just fill up people with limiting beliefs... The marketing of the red pill comunity is so aggressive and so powerfull - they promise you the paradise on earth after teaching you how to sleep with a couple of different girls a week with some tricks and mind games and little that you know after a massive amount of money, time and effort wasted, even once reached that goal, you realise that's not it and you feel even more miserable than before...

[@buldrux217]

My sister has hidden behind her diagnosis, traumas and fears for most of her life. Accepting that she was always a victim and that she had no responsibility for her actions. She even blamed us saying we reminded her of her problems and left to the west coast. She came back last year saying she wanted to be better and take some responsibility. I really wish she meant it. When those words left her mouth I could tell she only said it for herself to hear and feel better.

[@nocturnaljoe9543]

According to Adam, provider of 4 kids, your sister is probably one of these ultra rare mental women.

[@naomigreasley7280]

Can all of the other so called “dating gurus” leave the internet and let this man lead the way. He makes so much sense to both men and women! Excellent conversation 👏🏽👏🏽

[@rubyb7252]

4 minutes in and I had to stop what I was doing because this guest is just dropping truths left and right and I'm absolutely fascinated. Usually I'll listen to things in the background while I work, but I'm fully engaged. I've been married for about a year now so this topic heavily interests me. As mentioned, my husband and I didn't have the best relationship models, so we've both come into the relationship to create something different. Taking the good and bad we've experienced, to break old patterns and create something new together. As a woman, the male experience is unfamiliar to me, how my husband is affected by his ADHD and autism diagnosis from childhood, my own female brain and how that shows up in the relationship but it's important to learn about it all to be that supportive partner to my husband that is in the space to help each other grow so these sort of conversations are my bread and butter atm great video! edit: 1:05:21 OMG MY HUSBAND DOES THIS OMG OMG🤣🤣🤣 ITS A THING????! OMG LOL CHRIS YOUVE EXPOSED MY HUSBAND (usually I let him pick where we're going and such, as I didn't grow up eating out much so I don't actively seek it so it's not often that I'll actually offer a place to go or it's a place he's taken me before and therefore have a mutual taste for)

[@metatron8386]

He nails it. Puts the red pill rubbish in the bin.

[@rubyb7252]

@@metatron8386 and the black pill stuff too probably😅 that place is a dark one

[@AInUnitedKingdom]

Chris, I’ve been following you for a while and have binge watched many of your episodes. This is by far your BEST episode. Please have him on again. I would love to hear a stand alone episode on Attachment Theory (and the 3 different types). I know you’ve had Jessica Baum on and others that have discussed the same issues, but I would LOVE to hear his perspective on Attachment Theory. PLEASE get him back in! If you do, I’d love to know if there’s a male-female disposition towards a particular attachment type.

[@TheZGALa]

I tried to find help/therapy for ten months only to be further traumatized, humiliated, and eventually 'diagnosed' with five disorders by a faceless 'doctor' on a blank phone. Insanity abound. Our disease management system/industrial disease complex is killing us.

[@FatemehBagherian-o1v]

I’m still on 2/3rd of this conversation and I’m loving it. Listen hundreds of relationships conversations from the greatest psychologists but this one is one of the most accurate, reassuring and informative ever. No male psychologist I ever seen to know and understand women that deeply. Thank you so much 🧡🙏🏻

[@MartialistKS]

32:20 - I really enjoy when Adam is on and always have takeaways. One push back I would make here is on his comments on the redpill. Speaking for myself I was raised religious with very traditional expectations and goals about dating (blue-pilled, as they would say) and believed that if I was honest with women and showed them who I was as a person and treated them well it would be appreciated as Adam indicates here. That is the attitude I took with me when I started trying to date seriously, which I was, I was dating with intent. This was not met with enthusiasm and appreciation by the women I dated as Adam indicates it would be. I was not obese, poorly dressed, or unemployed either. I was however too naive and too much of a people-pleaser or a "nice guy" at the time. After a handful of these experiences and a lot of confusion I went online looking for answers and stumbled into the redpill like so many other men. I definitely agree that some areas of the redpill go too far into the comforting narrative of "everything is women's fault in modern dating" but overall I think the reason redpill content is growing is because it strikes a chord with young men for whom, like myself, the traditional "heart on your sleeve" style Adam seems to be advocating for here just never led anywhere. Maybe a more nuanced take from him on the subject would be better.

[@evanragland4930]

Only 50 minutes in but have heard a few comments from Adam that makes me think he doesn't actually understand Red Pill theory. Red pill doesn't state that it's a zero sum game and Men need to play games and manipulate to score as many points as possible. It's more of the game is rigged against you and you can only score negative points so why play at all? It's also interesting how guys who do walk away from dating and doing their own thing are always described as smoking pot, playing video games, watching porn, etc. Instead of most men I know who have taken themselves off the market and don't have time to date because they are pursuing their hobbies/interests. Building cars, traveling the world, flipping houses, playing DnD with friends.

[@MartialistKS]

Agree with both of you guys. FnF are definitely just using the redpill for money and fame. I think more 'OG' redpill guys like Rian Stone are the real deal.

[@JAKEBrakeModel94]

Couldn’t agree with you more.

[@LotusHart01]

Thanks for sharing. Adam straw-manned the red pill community, which is a shame because he did so well in just about every other aspect.

[@fejkpirat5118]

he has no idea what ”the red pill” is. he sounds super blue pilled in that segment. 😂

[@steeltrap3800]

A problem I find frequently with so many discussions about ADHD is they fail to define WHAT IT IS. People might be shocked to see just how much utterly nonsensical things are 'believed by the public' about ADHD. To add insult to injury, many things are NOT 'believed by the public' that demonstrably ARE true. It's also something remarkably badly understood by the vast majority of practitioners of all stripes. It's something of a poster child for just how much about our brains we do NOT understand. Unsurprisingly, treatments will be as imprecise as that understanding. I experienced the OTHER side of the problem. Turns out I'm a textbook profile of a "very highly intellectually gifted" (exactly what that is of course is another huge topic, LOL) person with what is termed these days as quite severe 'inattentive' ADHD. I most certainly have a dopamine deficit. I was never 'diagnosed' until in my early 50s, and I can absolutely promise you I'd have killed to have been 'treated' (NOT just pharmacologically) because the consequences of NOT having it recognised and addressed meant it played havoc with my life in so many different ways. Yes, it's a 'spectrum', but there are all sorts of ADHD elements that medication can do a lot to give a far greater chance of making the negative consequences far less likely to make leading a tolerable if not satisfying existence extremely difficult. To put it differently, a substantially impaired dopamine system CANNOT be 'talked away'. Equally, just sticking someone on drugs WITHOUT using the beneficial changes that may arise, assuming the treatment is in fact warranted, to put in place a bunch of changes is NOT a complete way of making the situation tolerable. At the same time, it IS certainly true that there are those being medicated who arguably ought not be, plus of course plenty who are medicated yet don't do any of the OTHER important stuff. Too much ADHD stuff has more than a whiff of 'these people make things difficult for US; let's fix THAT, and if it 'helps' them as well, that's a bonus". I agree entirely with the part of the discussion that made that criticism. Any treatment MUST have as its focus making the PATIENT'S quality of life as good as possible FOR THEM. Yes, those who love that person are important FOR that person, but THEY CANNOT be the focus. Anything else is at best less than ideal, and sometimes almost certainly negligent if not exploitative.

[@Yourtherapistknows]

I totally agree with you! I actually went to the psychiatrist and I self diagnosed as I work in the health care field and I was spot on: super ADHD and I’m in my 40 ees. I truly have it and the pill has changed my life, that dopamine trickle!!!

[@VioletEmerald]

Great comment! As a woman who self diagnosed myself with ADHD in my late 20s and got a formal diagnosis at age 30 it really frustrated me for them to dismiss ADHD as just another way of being and all the meds as making us zombies. I think most ADHD meds don't make anyone a zombie.

[@derekhamel2991]

@@Yourtherapistknows 44 and got a formal diagnosis 2 years ago after losing my uncle and the father 6 months later. Went into a massive brain fog shutdown. Work was trying to fire me, and the self preservation kicked in. I ended up on strattera cause I'm really leery of SSRI meds, but it turns out Straterra was a pretty meh anti-depressant but seems to help as an off label ADHD med. I got 10mg adderall's as well. The Strattera did the bulk of the heavy lifting really quickly; The Pea soup of existence burned off, I suddenly had the experience of regularly waking up in mornings not feeling like trying to think was like running through water. It really minimized actual rem sleep i was getting for a good 6 months, but without the sleep debt cost. Had me a bit worried , but the benefits were such that I just sort of shrugged and focused on being grateful for the benefits. The low dose Adderal I would really only use as needed if I had to do something I normally struggle to make myself do.... read/write reports, or paperwork and other such tedium. Few months ago i weened off the straterra initiated by the MD i was using as the drug dealer finally decided to get wierd and wrote a script for some psychiatrist. I don't telemed, combined with default precision procrastination did the rest. I really don't touch the adderall. Escersiz and changing work groups and reorienting clutter etc, have seemed to supplant most of the necessity. I'm still interested to see if there might be meds worth utilizing to mittigate some of the other default neuro tendencies, but I don't see the ND umbrella as a disability outside of the context of the societal constructs normed to the ND flavored humans. I think the game now for myself is really to untangle a lifetime of CPTSD, learned survival traits and patterns that are now intrinsic, but lost the ability to provide the positive tradeoffs that made the cost worthwhile. I'm leery of artificial vectors for dopamine after a lifetime of being driven to external sources without connecting the dots. Hoping with time the body will be able to re-bias to a more normal baseline state so that the physiological mechanism might start to be able to begin to function as intended to regulate the chemistry as they were intended. cheers

[@derekhamel2991]

I loathe the contradictory praise for intelligence and penalties for it's ability to pattern match disparate contextual points into either a broader scaled out fractal of the initial talking point. My brain defaults to non-sequitur as a way of play, not because I'm being random but because the jumps are logical and lead to more interconnected contextualization. Kind of like sure, the meta of the thoughts aren't changed, but akin to conveying the same conversational information to whoever, but instead of using repetitive words in a bland minimalism that tightly constrains the possibility of meaningful moments of unexpected insight that might lead to a more informed interplay of shared human understanding. Only example that comes to mind would be like when one sentence spoken leads to the next sentence being a song lyric, to a movie quote, and each one bounds the central thing in a sort of verbal negative space between aspects of an idea that add a depth of dimension... as opposed to dancing around the meaning of a thing and struggling to not use the thing within it's own describing. oh, and the soul crushing frustration when a friend or whoever makes a point or says something they believe, and immediately brain connects to a related topic around a subject or person they disagree with who said or did a thing completely in line with the thing they like, and the shifting of gears to a second example of the same idea from a different frame of reference only triggers 'I don't care, stop!' instead of the exploration of whatever towards a more refined understanding one way or the other. It's been a long few days. Hope there was a sailboat in the noise if you read to here. Which leads me to 'people can't even define ADHD; what is it' point. for myself at least, one of the big expressions that has worked against me for a lot of years, is when people are slow to get to the point and I would get frustrated waiting for them to try to get to the point, or the part of whatever that was unpredictable. My dad was one of the smartest and capable minds I've had the privelage to know. I would often bounce things off of him just to verify my own conclusion. It was like I'm the hair and he's cartoon tortoise, and i had a habbit of finshing his thought just to move to the end anlasys. He'd gotten pretty good at the "you gonna let me finish, do want to hear what i have to say" He taught me how to think well, and we shared a lot of temperaments/traits/beliefs regarding it all,. When called out for interrupting I was rarely wrong about where he was going, and it was more like an annoyed 'get off my lawn you punk' than frustration. The same tendancy to try to move people along caused me a lot of challenges with the broader world. In the end, after he passed I got a lot of stories from family and friends and am pretty sure he had a touch of the tism as well. he was always absorbing new things and shifting special interests, didn't process/express emotions well externally, and tended to be pragmatic in a way bordering on scary. I've learned he was very much not liked, as he was loved by folks. Like a lot of us (i believe) our original sin as it were in these times, is that a lot of our neurologic differentiation expresses in ways that other brains pick up on at a firware level, but not so different in the ways that break into the threshold of conscious identification. Folks will protect and nurture the maimed child, but if you look normal but your interface with reality is off just enough to cause behavioral discrepencies from the group, there is only animosity. if you're gonna be off, better to have turrets, than to lack the ability to register nuance; better to be blind than to struggle with eye contact. Thanks for sharing.

[@PBKAYL]

Episodes with Adam always leave me very optimistic. I might have to re-read his book and actually take steps to fix my attachment. Still looking for my life plan to tell women about tho :^)

[@Raainmaker]

What book is it?

[@zad0k91]

I'm 15 minutes into this and its just black pill after black pill to me. Good stuff but so depressing. Guess I need to listen more but honestly it just sounds like everyone's screwed and you can either kys now or slowly die alone for a few decades

[@PBKAYL]

@@zad0k91 I mean Adam's message about fixing your attachment is one of hope. If that's all it takes I think we're all gonna make it.

[@pada5992]

Just tell women that youre looking to find out what your life plan could be, and how you have been going about it and where it has led you so far. Tell her that a committed relationship being a father are going to be a part of it, but you dont know how you will fit all of that together with everything else in life, just yet. You will easily stand out from 90% of men out there. Especially you will stand out positively from the ones who tell everyone that they have already, once and for all, exactly figured out that one thing that their whole legacy is going to be about. Yeah yeah. Just be human and be a work in progress. You dont know how much women crave just human men that have something worthwhile on their mind.

[@TGP109]

You know, most women aren't looking for a guy with a Lambo who makes millions, they just want someone who has their crap together.

[@SorrowHead]

I tried going to therapy and around the third visit she already wanted me to contact some other therapist to prescribe antidepressants or sleeping pills, which i refused. After a while she offered no solutions and said what were gonna be in therapy for 3 years. Why go for so long if you don't have a solution? That analogy of "id rather kill myself than sit and talk about my feelings for 10 years and pay 10k" was spot on.

[@momqabt]

This is helping me on so meny levels to understand what I've been doing wrong all this time. This is horrifying on a personal level and soothing to know how to improve myself.

[@gilgamecha]

1:17:21 Adam says she has her fun first then she settles with you for "commitment". The pill is not as blue as he thinks it is.

[@DirtyMike124x]

GOT EM

[@Aspire705]

1:17:21

[@gilgamecha]

@@Aspire705 thanks, fixed it

[@IHavent82Day]

Men and women are different and have different definitions of “fun.” Maybe your definition of fun is hedonism

[@markroden9968]

Love this guy's different POV. Definitely best suited for more mature stage of life.

[@makeup_onhermind]

This was a great one! As a woman that displayed signs of ADD as a child in school, I absolutely agree about the school system. A lot of girls also need to move more and learn practical skills and crafts and not be tied down to a chair all day and be quiet! I continuously meet so many people, men and women, that say they have AD(H)D, most of whom have good functional lives, so the part about de-diagnosing really stuck with me and will definitely bring it up in conversations soon! ;) Learned a lot in this one.

[@ssykes7]

This ties together and confirms so many things I have been thinking and building toward for years.

[@rossshiell2670]

That was a heartfelt "thank you, man" at the end there - he's a good dude.

[@MartialistKS]

Love whenever Adam is on with Chris. Can't wait to get into this.

[@rebeccashifflet8843]

Back at it again with the great content! Thanks for the hard work Chris! I learn so much on your channel. I love listening at work and stuck in traffic.

[@alanadawn1755]

I wish this was longer, and I’m not even done with the episode! I need 2 hours! 😂 Every time I think I find my favorite episode, there’s another great one like this! I’ve already shared with friends and family!

[@hollowedboi5937]

Ayo- this with Dr.K’s latest video on the friendzone really helped me understand the different mindsets and ways of love and attachment of people in a much more deeper and understanding way. This was such a good podcast

[@bufficliff8978]

For anyone scrolling and curious, Dr. K's channel is called HealthyGamerGG!

[@bigheadrhino]

Incredible stuff. Just checked out his books too. Really sums up a lot of issues in a simple, direct and concise way. Glad he’s out here helping people.

[@hamshobatatis]

This is one of the best podcasts that broke a lot of mental barriers for me! Thank you both!!!

[@geoffjensen5305]

Adam is a great guest, I’ve really enjoyed watching his growth. Continued success to both of you.

[@wifeandmomma7452]

Extremely interesting conversation. Thanks, guys, for continually educating us about male behaviour and male issues.

[@adsldave]

Wow this was a fantastic episode with lots of information I’ve never heard before, I love episodes like this that resonate with me a lot and inform me how to grow and evolve moving forward.

[@lanoel4585]

Thank you both for this marvellous discussion! I originally trained to become a psychotherapist... but came to a place where what was being taught [this was in the 1990s] did not make sense anymore. Then I encountered a fab teacher of the Narrative model... and then switched to mediation, and to Narrative mediation. Universities had just begun to teach this 'problem-solving' conflict-resolution... my reaction was "wow this is sooo practical!" After my MA-degree, I facilitated role-plays for that program for a decade, as well as session-work. Note: this manner of mediation was very similar to therapy... which was a subversive attitude back then... and now we have 'problem-solving' therapy. Eventually I observed something that had never came up in all that training... that the core conflict was between BELIEFS... that my job was/is to help get all those 'operant' beliefs on the table... for all to observe. At that point parties had the 'real' info for solving their 'problem/s' on their own - they did not need me to do that for them. I could sit back and watch the magic. In this interview. the 'beliefs'-factor was a thread throughout. Knowing what beliefs are in play is so powerful... most often people have no idea what beliefs are 'operant'... as most reside in the subconscious... so are a surprise when teased out... and only when made conscious did they truly understand each other. I call these "wallpaper beliefs"... cuz who looks much at the wallpaper? Yet they are always there...

[@Tyler-so8yl]

Adam Layne Smith is by far the coolest Adam Smith and he's up against stiff competition.

[@Hyperions92]

That simulator idea is absolutely genius and has to happen! It will help so many who suffer from social anxiety.

[@Nah-ah]

Everyone needs to watch/listen to this episode! Well done, Chris and thanks for having Adam back on again! 👏🏽👏🏽

[@briarblack7437]

Bruh this discussion is the most beneficial thing that's happened to my mental health in like 20 years. This dude seems legit.

[@sararistow6137]

You two men are incredible, thank you for putting this out here.

[@flowmovementtherapy2096]

Things I observe on a first date: 1- if he appears reluctant to share anything about himself, 2- if he appears to be nervous about being in my presence, 3- if he tries to kiss me the first time we meet or urgently book a second date, 4- any odd behaviours like being overly concerned about much I am enjoying myself or disappearing into the bathroom for more time than it should take, 5- if I share something vulnerable and he chooses to gloss over it or dismiss it, 6- the process of choosing a place to meet. Those tell me about level of insecurity or confidence, emotional intelligence, avoidance, anxiety, attachment and learned helplessness.

[@zartic4life]

Ive read and watched many well known therapists and I was pretty blown away by you. I immediately went on Amazon to see if you have a book. You have a short guide but have you considered writting a more thorough book? Subscribed to your channel.

[@garyhuntsr71698]

The glib and very convincing tone of dr. Smith harks back to some 19th century America delivered by Mark Twain... The wonderous making of a superpower! Love it! Thanks!

[@LionKimbro]

I roll my eyes every time he says "...relate with women as if they are human beings too..." Because here's the thing: Human Beings are sexed, and what men and women are, and how men and women want to be treated, and the cultures that they participate in -- are so, so radically, radically different than one another. At 33:30, he says "You have to prove who you are, you have to pass these tests, ..." Well, guess what: That's not relating with a woman "as a human being." That's relating with her as a test examiner. My eyes remain rolled. Every time he tells me how to engineer my conversations with women, I feel like: "OK, that's really weird, and *not* what I would call: relating with the woman "as if" she were a human being." Instead, it is all a careful crafting of a behavior that we would call: "relate with a woman in a specific way that is crafted for relating with a woman." And 45:00 sounds like all cope -- std. strategy of: "Woman right, man wrong." I've been in three or four long term relationships with women in my life. (10 years, 2 years, 5 years, 5> years) Women are very, very different from one another, and whether they are naturally horny, or naturally horny with YOU, has just as much to do with who the woman is herself, versus who you are yourself, and how you two interact. Some women are absolutely turned off by emotional intimacy. Some women are turned on by it. And some women are just turned on, or off, regardless of what you do in the realm of emotional intimacy. Some women just need you to be physically buff and attractive, and to act like someone who she's proud to show off to her friends -- which can mean a lot of performance. So I just can't take seriously what he's saying here. Because we live in such an omnipresent pro-woman men-man-up-and-take-responsibility field, I think we have to be very cautious when we hear this kind of messaging.

[@gilgamecha]

I wish you were wrong but I fear you are right.

[@finodiez9227]

You are right. I stopped at around 33:00 because he is talking blue pill stuff in a psychology-style manner. Women go to the therapyst and tell him the exact same script that they tell everyone: they want a lasting relationship but nobody commits and she is afraid to tell her dates she wants to be serious. This is BS. He is disregarding and not taking into account the entire 95-5 rule, her grocery store list of standards she is putting every man through, the insane bodycount numbers she is not telling that have chipped through her psyche over the years, and HER AGE which is probably 30+. As for the men, they may go in there and tell him they want a serious relationship... but men are not afraid of saying that to their women, they keep getting married and divorce r8pd! Stop the BS! Sometimes as a man if you say you are serious, or that you aren't, it is a flip of a coin where the girl will bounce or not, it is best to avoid talking about that until you are sure. Of course it is fear like he says, but it is not illogical harmless fear, it is based on truth. It is the same thing as if you are trying to feed a zoo lion, you may get eaten if you do it too soon in the relationship, its just FACTS. Do not fall for these psychological dudes. I mean, look at him, he is clearly a blue pill bearded short fat guy. I would believe it more if a psychologist of his level that looks like a Chad comes to talk to me, but that won't happen, because if the psychologist was a Chad... he would think with the redpill instead and give totally different advice, if ...he is a psychologist at all (99% aren't, imho psychology is a very blue pill coping mechanism and when you make it your job you tell everything about yourself... no wonder why all feminist girls here in my country flood this career like crazy.).

[@MrDanno2]

Tell me the lie!

[@juneelle370]

And yet as he stated at the beginning, women file for divorce after bending, shaping herself for the betterment of the relationship without the man doing the same. Women read books on how to better communicate with men, how to improve intimacy and yet, based on what you stated above, learning basic psychological tools like processing emotions in a healthy way, healthy relationship skills and communication is JUST TOO MUCH? Being healthy isn’t being “genuine” That’s just gross. Men with this self-centered, self serving attitude don’t belong in a partnership because they don’t even view it as one. :( think about it … ya’ll are gonna choke to death on that red pill~it’s not healthy. and everyone just regurgitates the same pornography philosophy concepts with slightly different words, if even that. It’s sad. Humans aren’t often rational, only rationalizing with motivated reasoning and easily seduced by toxic “benefits” that work against yourselves and all of humanity.

[@biscottigelato8574]

@@juneelle370is there data that women bend out of shape to change themselves for the relationship? Sounds like anecdotal narrative to me. Not saying there is none. But is that the majority? I say I know more men that bends over backwards to attract women. Basically the entire world is built by men to impress women How much the modern women have done to keep a relationship, where is the data on that? Even if that’s the female instinct, they are highly disincentives to do that today. They put ton of time to their career (NYC/SF 99% true), and have free bail out called divorce. I just don’t see his narrative in reality.

[@deborahsquires6827]

Enjoyed this so much, Thank You!!! And yes yes yes. As a woman looking for a serious relationship, I highly value it (and find it super attractive) when a man tells me his purpose and mission and his morals... Also who he really is deep down. Honestly, I wish more guys would talk about this.

[@darkaghiless91]

Finally some relationships advice that makes sense ! Thank you guys

[@xiexie89]

Adam Lane Smith is SPEAKING!!! I can't believe I never heard of this man before. Too many Red Pill suggestions in my algorithm 🤭

[@amsalespush]

What a phantastic guest - the most interesting one so far. Eloquent, smart, fast, and, as far as I can tell, totally on point.

[@ronaldhudges9526]

Excellent! Dr Smith has really nailed the problems I have encountered with relationships with women, just seeing this has helped me understand myself better. Thank you for this priceless insight.

[@cordyone]

40:46 If this is the case, then why are a significant number of female dating profiles looking for open relationships, or short term hook-ups, or state they want a relationship for a few years, not a life time. And I am only exposed to age ranges 35+. I realize many people do not tell the truth in their dating bios, but it is a clear trend that seems to have come out of nowhere.

[@okaySam]

He's out of the loop and has a clear selection bias because he sees dissatisfied people who are looking for relationships. That's not the majority of young women.

[@SamStone1964]

Fear of intimacy and being betrayed.

[@castirondude]

The best advice here is to say what you want clearly and early on. I too had this idea of "she will run away screaming if I mention marriage or kids within the first 3 years" , and it's just wrong. I saw this movie "surfwise" and this guy went up to a lady and said something like "You know, you could be the mother of my 10 kids" and she married him and they had 10 kids and they're still married. I mean it's certainly possible that she will run away screaming but then you have your answer quickly without getting overly invested in the relationship. I see so many people bumbling on aimlessly just because they're afraid to go into any direction.

[@SamStone1964]

Yes. Better they go running off screaming in the first 3 minutes than 3 years down the track.

[@human_32452dgbhedh]

Legally vulnerable is just what turns guys off though. I'm currently in the army, and we just get fucked by the family courts. We're not really afraid of the commitment or marriage, but divorce. A lot of the men I know have no interactions with their kids after divorce. Getting fucked like that is just what causes most men to just not date and marry.

[@gilgamecha]

Yep

[@gilgamecha]

And so we will have population collapse. Much sooner than we think.

[@scottbarnett3566]

Marriage is a dreadful gamble for men

[@christirose6813]

Thank you. This is one of the best explanations of relationships between men & women. Fantastic!

[@whitepepperband]

YES! I'm so happy to see him back!

[@freyjastravelchariot3343]

I loved this interview. The thing you said about wanting to tame/heal the adversarial relationship between men and women, made me so happy. I have been wanting to do the same thing. The red pill movement makes me as uncomfortable as the pink pill movement. I really dislike this men/women are the enemy and should be treated as such mentality. I am in the dating scene now, after a 4 year relationship ended, and I was worried about dating because of how bad the internet has made it seem. Hopefully, it won't be as bad as I have heard it is. Thank you for the glimmer of hope!

[@mattanderson6672]

Woahhhh!!! This was one of your BEST podcasts!! Thanks for having Adam on, get him back soon!!

[@andrewbloomquist6351]

I'm not a die hard red pill disciple/zealot, but I'd love to see this guy in a debate or discussion with one of the leaders of the movement. Many of them don't see women as adversaries, but take them as they are and dispel the disillusion of the unconditional love myth. Both sides have conditions to their love in a hetero monogamous relationship and we need to stop acting like we don't.

[@gabrielsuarez8239]

Agree, I'm not either a redpill zealot but, i don't think SOME things that this doctor says would work in a relationship long term, and that is why would be quite interesting that he debates with one of the main redpill leaders.

[@voccessbg5396]

Interesting, i am absolutely sure red pill claims unconditional love is in men's nature, not that it is foreign to all humans. I suppose none really knows what red pill is. They all make it what they need it to be. Coping.

[@Lia_Scott]

It was a breath of fresh air to hear your read ".. and girls to act more like boys." Even though that wasn't the main focus on this video, many people don't seem to focus on that part. I had serious anxiety in school and was shamed for the aspects of my personality that were more feminine. Many girls who do have natural feminine tendencies grow up thinking their worth is measured by what they accomplish and grow very depressed, anxious and unhappy. It's interesting to also hear about how the schools are impacting boys in the other direction.

[@RunhdeepS.Sandhu]

Feminism is toxic these days and pollutes the minds of young women. Good to know there still are feminine women out there.

[@christineshah7330]

If I had permitted my youngest child to be diagnosed, he would have definitely been dxed with ADHD. We ignored all of that and fought for him to be allowed to be an active, fidgety, loud boy. He is now an active, fidgety, loud teenager. He and I both like the effect of caffeine on our focus, so I guess that "symptom" is "medicated". Whatever. He's smart and busy and hilarious. He wants to help his older brother run our business one day and he will be a force because of his energy and intelligence. Miss Badger from 2nd grade can stuff it. This "ADHD" we have all over our family is just personality traits. We're a good time. 😄

[@patriciasegage499]

For me it was with the antidepressant, after 5 years I asked the question….when do I start to reverse? No answer, I quickly understood that I am part of a project. Thank you doctor Levin for all the ‘enlightenment’! This so important

[@guyopitz]

It's interesting hearing him describe my own thoughts. If I date a woman she will judge me unworthy and leave me depressed and broken so I want to die, so it's better to never interact with women ever. It's perfectly logical. Why would I throw myself in harms way? For what? Every relationship has been trash and I never see the upside to interacting with anyone.

[@tefilobraga]

Wanting to die just because of being rejected by a woman seems to me an excessive reaction. You should be aware of your intrinsic value, despite whatever anyone else tells you (woman or not).

[@eleeyah4757]

Almost watched all the way to the end now. The issue I see with that VR stuff is that...why would I not be traumatized by having a relationship that I managed to progress to marriage, just disappear on me? The very idea of "having a relationship go that far", without actually living that relationship, brings me almost to tears. I'm a guy, btw.

[@ericdraven3654]

I come here for my weekly dosage of modern wisdom. Thank you, Chris.

[@TheLr4211]

This is hands down one of the most informative and helpful podcasts I've ever listened to and I've heard a lot! Excellent!!! 💗💗💗

[@albertsystem1]

I dare you not to have attachment issues after watching this. Adam is interesting. There's a lot here about men needing to understand women and women needing to understand women, but not much about either needing to understand men. Surprised Chris didn't ask more about that.

[@bencopeland3560]

Pretty much this. Makes me distrustful of the guy’s entire MO

[@anacarolinahelena7735]

This episode kept me beyond engaged for the hour and a half, one of my favourites so far! I really enjoyed the points, the practical examples and the suggested strategies. Marvelous information for those wanting to be better partners, or just communicate in an effective way with the opposite sex.

[@Zen36977]

This guy nails it. Men need purpose

[@olegs79]

One of the best series by Mr Smith and Mr Williamson. Thank you so much. Literally life saving content.

[@mrdee2454]

Chris: School systems treat boys like defective girls Also Chris when talking to a feminist: Yes my queen, men just struggle in schools because women are smarter.

[@AEonAEtherium]

The ADHD thing really hit home for me. I remember being screamed at by my mother, who I learned in my adulthood was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, for being “bad” in school. “Bad” would be things like speaking out of turn in class, not wanting to share the Lego pirates during free time, repeating things I’ve heard my parents say that were deemed in appropriate etc. Nothing that most young children (I’m talking kindergarten, 1st grade) wouldn’t do at some point in their first few years of school. She would always tell me that I have ADHD and threaten to take me to a doctor so I could get the “medicine” I needed. I’m lucky that she never actually acted on it. In all reality, I was just young boy. At home my brother and I were the center of the world; the focal point. In a classroom setting, I wanted to do the things I wanted to do, not sit still and stay quiet for 6-10 hours with little room for creative activities and time outdoors. I can’t imagine what life is like for all of the men and women who are medicated at such a young age for reasons that are so ingrained in our nature.