Evolution's Secrets To Understanding Relationships - Dr Andrew Thomas

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than KZbin by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:20 Evolutionary Mismatch 10:18 Evolving Towards Making Small Errors Instead of Big Ones 17:33 Are Men as Picky as Women? 21:55 Is Promiscuity Heritable? 27:32 Humans Engage in Multiple Types of Sexual Strategies 36:49 The Different Levels of Sexual Harassment 46:55 Is Sexlessness in Young Men Caused by Poor Social Skills? 52:56 Attitudes in the West to Having Multiple Sexual Partners 1:04:21 How Many Previous Sexual Partners is Too Much? 1:14:52 What ChatGPT Gets Wrong About Mate Preferences 1:34:31 Where to Find Dr Thomas

[@luwado]

Great interview as always, Chris. I and many others hope you can have a guest who can discuss circumcision’s negative effects. Would recommend Eric Clopper.

[@AustinNovel]

The channel needed this one! very revealing & encouraging episode. A few episodes on relationships have felt damning lol

[@GuidetteExpert]

According to better done research related to height preference of women. Female want a man that is the same height as the female or higher. Not a specific height number. Outliers are a small % tho where women go for someone smaller then them or too big for them.

[@GuidetteExpert]

Im not happy with this so called scientist, he doesn't even have the basics right regarding why polygamy existed. Polygamy was only good for survival but it is the most dysfunctional way to have a healthy relationship and raise the family. And it was not about sex, it was about taking care of women that lost their men and had kids or are even handicap. Its like saying the women that are in Afghanistan that are so poor and sell their own organs to feed their own child is normal. It is NOT normal!

[@anonanon7553]

Chris can you have some communists on because you have a very narrow range of guests that all share similar ideas. It would be nice to have a variety of perspectives

[@roxannewiedemann9172]

Definitely agree with the point about a loss of social skills in this generation. This point is rarely brought up, but I think definitely plays a role in our ability to date.

[@kodyeaton3413]

Social skills have taken a major hit, especially since the ability to socialize is primarily about money now. Meaning it has become more expensive to find places to socialize outside of working hours. Bars are terrible for socializing, yet what do adults have besides that.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@kodyeaton3413 In London, what were nightclubs have been redeveloped. The public spaces for socializing are shrinking in some areas.

[@kodyeaton3413]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 it makes sense as this toxic work culture spreads, you have ceo's or founders of start ups that encourage people to eat, sleep, breathe the company. More companies are following that example, life is about work, and everything else is a distraction. Eventually if things aren't fixed only the rich will have social lives

[@Yarblocosifilitico]

Yep. Looking back, not only no one taught me the basics of flirting, but my mom reacted with stone-coldness to any flirty joke my dad made, and I was watching shows like Friends were the one who knows how to flirt is an idiot that ends up alone and the awkward one gets the best woman.

[@guitarista666]

@@Yarblocosifilitico Many people don't have parents that provide good examples, and TV shows are probably even worse. You should've observed your friends to see what they were doing and how well it worked. If you didn't have friends who were successful, find some.

[@sarahalderman3126]

Listening to these discussions is so incredibly interesting and thought provoking! My husband and I met in high school and dated throughout and through college, then married two weeks after graduation. We always knew that we were lucky to have found each other so early, however listening to these conversations and reading the comments truly emphasizes how Blessed we truly are.

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@Ochtone]

I enjoyed this. I liked him. He seems clued up and also not afraid to say what he feels. He’s got the passion and the charisma and the curiosity and the smarts. Would like to see him back again. You also vibe nicely off each other, I’m guessing because it’s fast becoming your main area of interest.

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@gabrielpacana8596]

The British Connection

[@buldrux217]

The more I listen to Chris's podcast and learning everything about evolutionary psychology and mating strategies the more confirmation I receive about how truly simple we men are.

[@b4zz3d59]

Watch The Post-Feminism Man by bar bar and read the Rational Male to understand the world we live in.

[@masterfoggy88]

@@ankra12 if that was the case then Freud was correct but highly doubt it sex is just one of many motivation’s that drive us when you include hunger and fear of death then you realise it’s not just sex. If the sex was the only reason we wouldn’t evolve to such extent to think abstract and sometimes logical 😮

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@@b4zz3d59 The irrational male

[@peterharrell7305]

And how everything is bad because of men. Funny how quickly this podcast devolved into just another man basher hour.

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

@@brianmeen2158 7-8 hundred ...

[@AHeroicDeath]

On the optimal body count survey point, I strongly suspect that if you added to the survey a question like, "if a partner was otherwise seemingly ideal, would a body count number ever be a deal breaker?" You would then see the difference between men and women. When you look at the top men in society, like pro athletes or rock stars, women do not seem to mind one bit that their body count is in the hundreds or thousands. But I think that, at least for long term dating, men would care A LOT, and would rule out a girl with a high enough body count, regardless of how desirable she was in other regards.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Plenty of women care about a man's body count. Not being able to maintain a relationship, STD'S, baby mommas are all red flags.

[@AHeroicDeath]

@@wyleecoyotee4252 it's not to say it is irrelevant, it is to say that men are much more concerned about signals of sexual promiscuity because of instinctual paternity concerns that do not apply to women. Hence the difference in how promiscuous women vs promiscuous men are viewed throughout history and across cultures.

[@KanyeT1306]

I was interested to see that the optimal body count for men and for women was 4 and that virginity was as appealing as 8. I would have expected men to value virgins a little bit higher than women, but it is curious to see women also value virgins to some degree.

[@EvolianTiger]

Men and women would break a lot of their dating rules for “the ideal,” so correcting for that is irrelevant because no one is getting someone that's the perfect ideal.

[@AHeroicDeath]

@@EvolianTiger I said "seemingly ideal" intentionally-- yes,no one is literally perfect. But if a potential partner otherwise was highly desirable (highly physically attractive, had the desired personality traits, had the desired worldview, social status, etc, etc.) would a body count ever be a deal breaker, regardless? It seems pretty clear to me that, while women generally don't love to see a massive amount of promiscuity in a man's past, if that man was their favorite actor, musician, artist, or athlete, they wouldn't be too bothered by his high body count. But I think a looooot of men wouldn't be willing to marry a woman with, say... a few hundred bodies under her belt, regardless of what other positive traits she might have. The instinctual fears surrounding paternity uncertainty are too strong in men, generally.

[@K3r0411]

Physicians dating other physicians isn’t necessarily always about status. If you put that much time and effort into your education, and work these crazy hours in a very stressful job you are better off with someone who has been there, and done that.

[@SevenRiderAirForce]

Also the crazy hours limit your ability to even find anyone else.

[@MisterL777]

I had the opposite impression : that if someone had a very demanding job they wanted to go home to a much less stressed partner who has time to take care of them (division of labor).

[@bigheadrhino]

@@MisterL777 that may sound idel but chances are the imbalance will likely just lead to resentment and the person with extra free time will probably have an affair.

[@dashrirprock]

How often do female doctors marry nurses, clerical workers, and physician assistants? I'd guess not all that often.

[@peripheralparadox4218]

Only if you’re a woman.

[@new_game2589]

I'd wager that instead of the male sedation hypothesis what we're seeing is learned helplessness on a massive scale, with the availability of information thanks to the internet, the loss of male role models and a seemingly hostile public perception if masculinity coupled with the much more transparent and arguably transactional and gamified nature of relationships many men - whether correct in their assessment or not, have developed a belief that their efforts won't get them anywhere or fear the risk of repercussions if things go wrong. Men don't typically put effort into a things they don't feel will achieve results, and this would explain the lack of young male syndrome as well as the increase in polygamy/voluntary cuckoldry to some degree.

[@sarahalderman3126]

Id venture to agree with your first perception, it is what my husband and I have seen with our older teens/young adults, especially in their prospective partners.

[@nackedgrils9302]

That might be true. Tbh, the male sedation hypothesis resonated a lot with me because my life has been completely aimless ever since I started watching porn regularly at 13 but there are definitely different factors at play. I can't properly assess what might be going on in the brains of other guys because, as a registered sex offender, my circumstances are extremely different from normal people and the odds that I'll ever find someone who's ready to accept that I'm a p*dophile are almost zero, so it would make sense in my case to completely give up on relationships even though I'm unable to. So anyway, you seem to view the use of porn and other sedation methods as a symptom and not a cause which is probably true in most cases but it still ends up as a positive feedback loop. I still think that the male sedation hypothesis might hold true for a subset of people who are very addicted to pornography (minimum 20h/week, let's say) because overstimulation of the dopaminergic system will undoubtedly lead to loss of motivation in every other area, just like with stimulant drugs. I've no idea how big this subset of people is, to me it was perfectly normal to watch porn 40h/week and I thought every guy was doing the same until I learned in my mid-20s that it was not the norm.

[@mtnentertainment3454]

I've always said that porn and games are the symptom not the cause. They aren't sedated because they play games and watch porn, but rather they watch porn and play games because they are sedated. Especially in nerdy type men who have an understanding of statistical probability, men may see that the risk assessment is skewed against approaching women far more than in the past. Where previously the worst that may happen is you may get rejected by one woman, or maybe one woman and her immediate friend group, now the massive increase in perceived social group size as a result of social media means that he's not just getting rejected by her, but her and EVERY WOMAN IN THE SURROUNDING 3 ZIP CODES. The interaction doesn't end at the end of the conversation, the woman involved can and often will share the negative experience publicly in her group chat, and then her friends share it in their group chats, and then every woman in the whole tri-state area knows he absolutely flopped in his flirting attempt and likely has already prejudged him as a creep, meaning they will have also pre-rejected him. This is going to influence men to not even try to approach women and will seek satisfaction elsewhere, often in empty pursuits.

[@bolt-dbtfg]

​@@mtnentertainment3454 I don't think that level of pre-rejection is any anywhere near true. And even if it was, it does not benefit a man to pay any attention to it, but to get out there and approach anyway.

[@ZacksRockingLifestyle]

@@nackedgrils9302maybe your life is aimless because you make poor choices like admitting without good reason that you’re a nonce and that you’re an RSO (for whatever horror it was that you were convicted of), while having a username meant to evoke “naked girls” all wrapped up with an unhinged profile picture. Are you on drugs or the drink? How about gluten? Eat a lot of carbs? You recognize that you’re not well, so perhaps investigate how to get well.

[@whittenaw]

I could have listened to this for even longer. He had a lot of interesting things to say and also i liked hearing his genuine empathy.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@youcandoit1369]

Supported.

[@filthycasual9381]

Except for having any empathy whatsoever for male babies that are genitally cut because "FGM is sooo much worse." This guy buys into all the feminist myths surrounding FGM. Most FGM is the equivalent of MGM: circumcision where foreskin/clitoral hood and part of shaft skin/labia minora is removed (anatomically homologous structures). He's clearly a misandrist.

[@juneelle370]

Yes~ breath of fresh air both of them and hope for ending this disastrous societal divide.

[@LoveOfLam]

Dude thinks female circumcision is worse than men’s, dude is a biased soy boy

[@19Mister75]

I’m a disabled veteran with no one in my life. Each day this “relationship” chip on my shoulder gets larger. Cuf love!

[@alastairthegreat2887]

Are you able to do any hobbies or social activities? There are groups that meet up at pretty low-key places and if transportation is an issue there are online communities.

[@guitarista666]

I can't understand your statement, but let me say this. For some women you are DOA, but there are others who will respond as long as you are a good man otherwise. Try to find a way to be around women of your age group, and just start casual conversations with them to see how they respond. If any you like, like talking to you, keep it up. You should be able to tell if they are open to spending time with you. Don't take rejection seriously. We all have to face it (except for a lucky few!) Remember there are always more fish in the sea.

[@vinceado8019]

What an amazing guest! A brilliant episode. Enjoyed every seconds of it. Looking forward for 2030 when all his paper will finally be released :’)

[@peterharrell7305]

I'm a pretty measured guy. I don't make outlandish statements or requests of women. I have been met with token resistance on a few occasions in my life. Knowing that I'm not crossing any lines, any amount of resistance is taken as an immediate and irreversible "No." Whether she's joking or not, I'm out. It's not worth the risk of an accusation or the headache of trying to figure out if someone is just joking. Even a wife can claim her husband assaulted her. And THAT'S no damn joke.

[@whittenaw]

I think that's the best way to go about it honestly. It keeps you safe and it keeps the ding dongs who play hard to get from making life unnecessarily hard for those who don't. If that tactic doesn't work for them, maybe they'll finally stop and then women won't get harassed because some other ding dong thought she was playing hard to get when she wasn't. As far as women claiming their husbands assaulted them... Of course it happens and I'm glad marital rape is finally illegal in the states. Of course, I'm with my partner because I trust him to never do that to me, but sometimes people end up with people who absolutely will. And that's so sad.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@nackedgrils9302]

For real, it's weird that most men seem to have internalized the risks and have adopted your stance but the percentage of women using token resistance hasn't changed.

[@JimmyMFP]

47:10, admittedly it's still social skills, but I think it's largely because men and women are largely coming from broken homes. The model that men and women are creating their relationships off are their broken homes, the short-term relationships of their parents, and the lack of visible romance and flirting between their parents. I would also say that, yes, social media has drastically changed how we grow up and interact.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@lordofgingers]

It's so strange to see these things finally in the mainstream line of discussion now when it used to be so underground to even utter a syllable about this stuff. Better late than never I guess.

[@filthycasual9381]

The mainstream is going through delayed cycling of the manosphere waves. Right now it's still PUA knowledge. In a few years, the mainstream will be onto MRA stuff. Another few years and they'll be advocating m.g.t.o.w. They probably won't call it by that, but they'll be dishing out all the same arguments and talking points.

[@noahbrown4388]

The elephant in the room has grown so big that it's smashing our collective faces against the wall

[@lordofgingers]

@@noahbrown4388 indeed

[@TheZGALa]

I love what you just said about prestige being a potentially better strategy than dominance.

[@Chucksta-iwnl-]

Chris I am loving all the psychological talks you have had and are having :)))

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@Romie15]

I loved this episode! I'll watch it again for sure. I would love to watch an episode with Chris, William Costello and Andrew Thomas.

[@luwado]

Great interview as always, Chris. I and many others hope you can have a guest who can discuss circumcision’s negative effects.

[@MartB-tx5lb]

Andrew Schulz hit this one pretty well, not much else to say. "It's the latest rage, The ladies love it!" --Mel Brooks, (Rabbi Tuchman) Robin Hood II: Men in Tights

[@MartB-tx5lb]

@Margarine Snatcher Hi fellow "M!" Indeed, hygiene helps. Just because you ain't using it, doesn't mean you shouldn't clean it

[@cliffbooth4826]

What are some of the negative effects? never heard of it? circumcision isn't really done in my country

[@filthycasual9381]

@@cliffbooth4826 Violation of the right to sexual integrity and right to not be tortured. Permanent somatic and psychological trauma. Loss of 50% of penile skin (the more sensitive half).

[@filthycasual9381]

@Margarine Snatcher Phimosis is the result of forced retraction of the foreskin when it should remain fused to the glans until puberty. If parents forcibly retracted the clitoral hood to scrub the clitoral glans, then girls would also have just as many hygienic problems early on.

[@itsshierlz]

I met my now partner as friends first .. he is actually my best friend’s brother. I think it’s so much better than meeting random on a shallow dating app. You get to know each other as a real person first, and there was no pretence or having to put a “mask” on to form a false first impression. He saw me with zero make up and slobby loungewear and got to know the real me.

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@scarba]

My father was my mother’s best friend’s brother’s best friend. That’s by far the best way to do it

[@robinfox4440]

*sigh* the more I learn about human psychology and dating, the more I lose interested in dating altogether. I've lost hope; I give up.

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@counselorguy5481]

I actually talk to people for a living, and it's mostly women as well, and it's made me lose interest in dating. Once you realize people's nature, the only thing you can do is manipulate that to your advantage, if that's against your values, you're kind of shit out of luck when it comes to dating.

[@interesting2491]

This guy was very insightful - Great podcast Chris, been listening to you on my commute to work or with a cup of tea in the evening recently

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@MonaMarMag]

I have done my own research in that topic and what I found out is that many men confuse kindness with something else . Some of man do not know how to deal with rejection and there are olso some man who do not believe in themselves or they are just afraid of commitments . What I have learn also is that how old person is is not always an indicator of his or her maturity .

[@josephshepard2962]

Screw the friend zone. Think of the term "just friends." The problem isn't the "friends" part. The problem is the "just" part. The word "just" makes it clear from the start that there will be no advancement to anything serious and long term. There will be no growth. Relationships don't start with friendships, they start with a first date. At best, the friend zone is condescending and disrespectful. At worst, it is emotional abuse.

[@cultofhercules]

yes and the guy is allowing it to happen by sticking around and letting the convo get to that point in the first place.

[@NaDa-kw2fu]

Having watched a few of these interviews, I often wonder, with the in-depth knowledge these guys have, how they approach the relationships in their lives. I understand that this would be very personal but it would be interesting to see if their students change their approaches to the 'mating game' as they acquire knowledge of the realities and strategies of the human condition.

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@vinceado8019]

I don’t think you can change the game knowing the dynamics behind the rules. But they can eventually optimise their own lives. E.g setting 6foot instead of 5.11. Going to x-fit instead of a club to find long term relationships :)

[@GIPgarden]

Would like to see a podcast on parents and children behavioral psych

[@kiara4345]

Yes, that would be great

[@filthycasual9381]

That would be good. Hopefully, he can talk about how sxly torturing and genitally mutilating boys via circumcision produces trauma-induced patterns in their behavior later on. No one respects the infant male right to sexual integrity and to not be tortured so maybe learning about all the adverse behavioral affects will get parents to stop mutilating their male children because they want to control their sexuality.

[@alexsender4986]

perfect timing man, i needed this

[@r.mucklin1703]

I have a comment about the sexual miscommunication between men and women. I tend to think the problem is much more prevalent in the English-speaking world simply because we don't have a formal and informal form of address. In the two other languages I speak there is a formal way of addressing people you have just met, and you stay in that formal mode until you are specifically asked to address someone in the informal mode. That informal mode is the signal that the relationship can then proceed to a closer friendship and even to a sexual relationship. It gives a clear verbal signal that the relationship is to stay formal and distant enough or may proceed, so there are no misunderstandings. Has this peculiarity of language ever been investigated regarding this? Of course in any language there are always people who refuse to read social cues, but when there is clear language it is much easier to discern the next move, and those who overstep those cues also know they have overstepped them. English has no such clear verbal cues.

[@Half-code]

Neat insight

[@MagnusVictor2015]

With regards to the topic of low social skills in men nowadays (leading to inability to flirt effectively), I'd like to point out another major difference in the modern world that is driving that: Fewer opposite-sex siblings. Historically, large families meant that the majority of people (here focusing on men, as they are expected to take the lead in flirting/dating) would have at least one sibling of the opposite sex. Boys would have sisters, girls would have brothers. This would mean that they would grow up with at least *some* understanding of what life was like for the other half of humanity, and some understanding of what they were actually looking for in a partner. That is, boys would grow up hearing what their sister(s) complained about after that sister returned home from a bad date, and would learn what behavior(s) were turn-offs for women. Likewise, girls would grow up learning the same from their brothers. The issue is that one notable demographic change in the modern world is the proportional increase in single-child families. A child who has *no* siblings of the opposite sex will have a much tougher time learning accurately what their intended flirting/dating targets actually want/do not want.

[@guitarista666]

What you say is logical, but even though I had two sisters, I can't say it helped me very much. i think the problem is the difference in the type of emotional relationship involved.

[@daishan1234]

>at is, boys would grow up hearing what their sister(s) complained about after that sister returned home from a bad date except that even dating itself isn't the historical norm. at no point in history, other than the past 50ish years, and predominantly in western society, have women chosen their mates through "sampling" numerous men in order to find a mate. for the rest of the entirety of history, a woman either had outright *no* say in her mate selection, or in some cases she was given a pre-selected assortment of men to choose from (the man had to attain approval from the girls father / family in advance, or similar) what we're seeing is that extensive dating history leads to *worse* long term outcomes than the historical practices. a woman who is a virgin when she gets married has something like an 80%+ chance of not getting divorced. After merely a *single* sexual partner before she's married, those odds decrease to right about *50%*, and it gets worse from there on out.

[@vital.elements]

"I like courting. Let's bring that back." 😄🖤💯

[@mobilemcsmarty1466]

at 1:10:00 is a gold insight. "society" tells you one thing when the opposite is the actual truth. the answer is obvious once you see it. it's salesmanship (lying) to convince you buy into something you don't need or want, then if you go for it to get you to pay over market value. conclusion- be a good shopper to get what you want, while always remember that other people's opinions will tend to be against your better interests 😎 I liked the chatGPT discussion 🙂

[@koleary1798]

Plenty to chew over from this talk but the point that, weirdly, resonated with me was how young men and boys if not given an outlet to be constructive will destruct. I was always a fairly outdoorsy and handy boy and our family home opens out to a big wooded area. I'd literally do things like figure out how long it took to cut a small tree down with a hatchet or the best way to throw (stolen) kitchen knives into a dead stump so they stuck in really hard. When my dad let me use more of his power tools I'd spend my time making nerdy woody swords and fantasy weapons out in the shed. Maybe it was a lack of interest or a gap in encouragement but i wish I'd kept up that hobby of woodworking. I was intuitively quite good at it and had a talent for it but just..stopped doing it at some point.

[@angelina9951]

Something interesting to look into would be that even in examples in history of polygamous marriages, the husband wouldn’t actually have sexual relations with all of his wives but have one main wife and the others he takes under his wing if he can afford to rather than marry them for children/sex.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆 👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@grannyannie2948]

I don't know about evolutionarily. But certainly from the Middle Ages through to the early twentieth century, the Family and the household were the same thing. Unmarried or widowed women were very much a part of households. For example Samuel Pepys kept his unmarried sister as a maid in his household, because in that role she actually had a higher standard of living and better social opportunities than in her father's or other brother's home. Whilst men did not keep women as additional wives (a mistress was completely separate from the household) he and his wife would, if they could afford it, often make themselves responsible for other women and children.

[@craigbenz4835]

I can't hear "polygamy" without my first thought being cult.

[@RodHayward]

Based on my reading, observing and personal experience, I realized, maybe too late, that most male/female relationships ultimately are based on evolutionary psychology. Why would a professional career woman with an equal professional career man insist he "provide and protect," even if no kids are involved? She can provide for herself as he provides for himself. She can call police and keep a gun as he can call police and keep a gun. A man has no advantage over a woman in any of this. Still, we see thousands of smart, capable women asking where "all the good men" are. What they're really asking is where are the men with money who can be their daddies.

[@AmeliaBodilia]

“…mate value doesn’t influence your worth as a person, that of course women care about a man’s looks and men care about a woman’s intelligence and drive etc etc.”- Chris Williamson

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@warrenny]

13:09 IMO The correct way to phrase that is that men and women place a high emphasis on attractiveness but only women put a high emphasis on status and resource acquisition.

[@carolspencer6915]

Good evening Chris and Andrew Thankyou for your shared conversation. I am after many many years, thinking of someone for me. Never really needed nor had time to think of having room for a significant other. However over the course of a tough year/decade if honest. Now on a path to figure out the partnership thing. Terrifying and exciting all at once! I know I need someone, my yet to be sought significant other, to share both work fun laughs and other life journey's with.(long story short).😀 So currently modelling this on a guy pretty much mirroring 'A Lex Fridman'.😀🤣💜 Thankyou for such a fitting discussion. Appreciated. 💜

[@_fay-vo]

*👆 👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@M0101EP]

Good luck friend

[@carlospallete3030]

I actually think that the original PUA by Niel and Mystery really helped me a lot, it gave a structure and order, a routine and mentality, things to keep in the back of your head and keeping score like a game, this should be brought back and used but in a positive way, creating meaningful strong relationships with women and knowing how to flirt and having all of those tools at your disposal.

[@vladrileynavilys]

There's good stuff to take from all that, true. Would it be just the knowledge and acknowledgement that "guy wants girl" is normal and fine, and that taking action to fulfill that is also normal and fine. (within some boundaries that are not hard to understand and keep in mind)

[@JT-rx1eo]

20% of female physicians mating/dating male physicians can be about proximity and shared interests, but female hypergamy has a very big say in the phenomenon.

[@mariorojper5851]

Haha, that´s brilliant ¨first openly Welsh¨. Chris your channel fire 🔥

[@acct4600]

46:55 this is the most bIue piIIed beta conversation i've ever heard smh. by all means, lets just blame it all on men's social skills. surely it has nothing to do with feminism, metoo, timesup, iHollaback, nightmare HR departments & all this other garbage that doesn't even allow men to TRY to learn how to socialize for fear of being locked up & put in jail for trying to introduce yourself to a woman in public. & then they wonder why men don't approach women anymore. its not worth the risk.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆 👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@KirkWallace-lw4sl]

1:30:00 I'm married, so I don't really care, but the issue with a man being in the "friend zone" regardless of mating strategy is if the woman is actively engaged in short term mating strategies. A short-term male will be frustrated for not being selected and a long-term male is not going to be attracted to the self-serving nature.

[@_ima_b]

46:55 Why would porn reduce the desire for sex? Are you sure you're not being imprecise with what you're trying to say? It's obvious to any man that masturbates that porn use doesn't decrease the desire for sex but may decrease the desire to put in the work for sex. Instead of seeing if porn decreases desire see if porn is correlated with lower frequency of sex. Desire and frequency are not the same.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@nackedgrils9302]

Porn reduces the desire for everything. If I masturbate two times a week, I have zero desire for real sex and, let's be honest, I masturbate way more than twice a week.

[@essman21]

The sexual revolution completely warped human mating behavior.

[@AtheismF7W]

@@GodsOwnPrototype this

[@essman21]

​@@GodsOwnPrototype How could you argue against the sexual revolution warping human mating behavior? Did it or did it not? Your retort is verbal diarrhea.

[@cultofhercules]

this would be true if we didnt evolve to depend on fatherhood for survival @@GodsOwnPrototype

[@tbohman5717]

I find it funny how much of this guy’s research is response based and he puts it forth as not flawed. Even some of his research he references shows people give answers that aren’t in line with their actions. Him saying to go back to basics like arranged marriages undercuts the validity of his methods.

[@winxfriends1]

According to the book The Open Empire by Valerie Hansen, foot binding started in the metropolitan Song Dynasty as a form of ornamentation and enforced in large part by mothers onto daughters so that they have better chances to marry. Of course there were other factors such as sexual market forces, economy etc. that were involved too.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@nackedgrils9302]

This practice is so awful that when my friend told me about it, we just couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculous it was. To this day, I still have a hard time believing that this is not a joke like bonsai kittens or jenkem, it's definitely in the same realm of ideas.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@nackedgrils9302 I've heard about it for many years; not funny at all.

[@bunnymeercat2351]

No no, you heard the guy It's "male control"🙄

[@F1986R]

Hey Chris regarding the FGM, mothers push for it because of social influence (pressure and judgement from the community)and also because women in general don't usually encourage other women to overcome any restrictive or oppressive behaviour that they are still suffering from. Another example from the middle east is Hijab, social influence again here. It's the same reason why women are more likely to fllow any set of rules.

[@gabrielpacana8596]

I heard the cleft foot in ancient Chinese culture was to distinguish wealthy women (who did it) from peasant women who had to have functuonal feet to work the field.

[@JadesFitnessBucketList]

ahhh theres so many cool studies Andrew has stated but not yet written up yet, i look forward to waiting until 2030 to read them 😅

[@counselorguy5481]

"This generation of men are the worst flirters" Why is the burden always placed on men? Why don't we encourage women to flirt, approach men, ask men out on dates. Why is it always the same old gender roles?

[@seth4766]

this was so good

[@snarkyeconomist2141]

The survey on female preference data doesn't match actual revealed preferences we see in female dating behavior on dating apps.

[@oriondye3212]

Its funny because pretty everything he uas said i was listening to in the manospere (specifically PUA community) roughly 12 years ago. He’s just taken these concepts from that space and repackaged them for a mainstream audience.

[@oriondye3212]

So finished the podcast. The guy had a strong Antimale, profemale bias. It makes a large amount of what he says later in the podcast suspect. Further, as other people have stated, most of his studies revolve around what people say, not what they do. So they’re unreliable because people lie to themselves all the time.

[@_fay-vo]

@@oriondye3212 *👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@oriondye3212 People to lie to others more than to themselves.

[@debslagel1132]

If I may interject from a woman’s perspective about male flirting, I’d say I agree with that bit. There seems to be a misconception about what flirting is. Now days, even for the older men “pictures” for them are considered flirting. I’m not really sure where they’ve gotten that from. It’s absolutely not flirting. In my opinion it’s kinda a lazy thing for men to do, if you would consider that as flirting. You’re not using any communication skills. Flirting in my option is with your eyes and voice and the words you use as well as body language. We want to be romanced and feel important to that man. That doesn’t mean spend loads of money. It’s a kind of treatment. I think it goes along with what men should do while dating, if you’re far enough with a woman that’s given you a green light or affirmation that’s she’s interested. Pull the chair out for her, smell her hair or perfume. Let your hand pick up a bit of her hair as you walk away. Smile at her. Listen to her. If you like her, act like it lol. Hold the door open. All the stuff.

[@pixie3458]

Something that fascinates me is why kind and gentle men who would be great for me are so attracted to dominant women

[@keeleythompson1644]

“If you’re stuck, why not ask your parents for some help on it” lol you lost me right there mate

[@7cross288]

Another amazing episode

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@TheZGALa]

the chat gpt results are interesting...I have had some interesting answers with regards to masculinity also.

[@theant9821]

on the subject of circumcision, its horrid practice but there is at least a plausible valid practical reason why that might be done in historic times, in the desert, having it removed means sand cant get under it, cause unbelievable pain, infection etc. but outside of that context its horrific in my opinion.

[@Ridley200]

Was nice to hear Freemasons mentioned as positive male role models.

[@sluggo562]

How women think they would act and how they do act are presumably quite different. I hope the methodology section is thoroughly considered, ensuring that the process of self reporting and its influence on results are accounted for in the conclusion/findings.

[@M64936]

Based on my readings female preference for a man with mates is one of the most important factors in female mate choice. Not sure about you reducing it merely to the fact that an interviewed girl is "18.5" and doesn't know anything about anything. It's not the only factor but based on what I've read it's one of the most important.

[@TheZGALa]

Fascinating stuff. Thank you both!

[@Sokrates80]

I am one of the guys who will only interpret direct words like "I'm into you" as her being into me, and feels really weird that men as a whole would be the opposite. I completely understand the evolutionary rationale though. Also how subtle are the hints women are giving, because a lot of them say men just don't get hints, which they should if men overinterpret things.

[@TheZGALa]

212! Sweet. Still in the game. ;)

[@ghoj7489]

M/F body count is perceived asymmetrically(,in my experience). Men view HBC of other men and themselves virtually as male status achievment. Like he's a highly sought after guy women like. Unfairly but in reality, men view women with HBC negatively(too loose, easily shared, the "tramp"). Conversely, my conversations with women have suggested that if your BC is low(4?), women must not value your personal contact. Too high(>30?) is not welcomed by women either. Great interview!

[@DFW60]

You should interview Chris Ryan who wrote sex at dawn. He has a different argument.

[@susanminer9692]

an idea: media, owned by a small minority - publishes intentionally bad advice to keep the positive coupling of men and women from forming thereby reducing the number of strong relationships-- great way to keep people weak/sad/fearful

[@sponkmcdonk3898]

A year later and nothing has changed

[@jennh2096]

After listening to this I finally understand why people hook up and end up pregnant all the time in zombie and other apocalyptic movies, despite that being an obviously bad idea, especially having a baby in the apocalypse. Great podcast as always though!

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@quackhouseproductions5572]

Chris is now my SFW Edward Dutton.

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@pwalker1360]

Wait 6 months and another "study" will come out that does a complete 180 turn.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@wadegorder6879]

medical professionals will be around medical professionals all day, they will have been around people becoming medical professional when they were as well. Odds are they will meet someone in this group through exposure not selection, although I am sure that is part of it as well.

[@bronsonbuskett4256]

Love this mating nerd shit; TEAM BUSS

[@craigbenz4835]

"I got a correlation of 1." Instant ad. How poorly (or well?) timed was that?

[@catche85]

I don't think we should rely on research among undergraduates or women between the ages of 18-24 as being able to be reliably extrapolated to the rest of the female population.

[@Rotting12]

?

[@eeva1475]

Doctors date doctors most likely because they met at med school, work, conference... You know, the old fashioned way of meeting people irl!

[@whittenaw]

I wonder if the 6'0 thing is as prevalent as people think it is. I didn't discriminate too much on height. I dated people both taller and shorter than me. i always had a preference for someone who was a few inches taller than me (I'm 5'5 ish) but it wasn't a deal breaker by any means. What absolutely was though was if they obviously had lied about it on the dating app. 😂😂 like my dude, i am gonna find out?!?! Mr. Science guy must have had a killer sense of humor because he made it through the defensive lines even with deceptive energy on the first date 😂😂😂

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

I'm a woman 5' 4" and prefer men around 5' 10'.

[@nackedgrils9302]

The data says that men prefer women who are, on average, 6 inches shorter than they are and that women prefer, on average, men who are 6 inches taller than they are. I don't think that this is a dealbreaker in long-term relationships, I've been attracted to girls who were taller than 5'6 because they had great personalities just like I already dated a girl with tattoos even though I really really hate tattoos. But when you get on a dating app and realize that there are hundreds or thousands of potential mates, you have to be selective and obviously, you'll look for the people who are the most attractive to you at first.

[@counselorguy5481]

I don't think women even care that much. They just know that other women care. The way their are "trophy wives", there are also trophy husbands. I've known women who dated men shorter than them, it was other women who goofed on them for it.

[@KnottyCeltic]

Ancestrally WELSH here. GrandNanny Welsh, Great Grandmother Scottish, Grandfathers English. That's insane that women would quibble over an inch of height. FFS tall is tall. Out of all my friends, only one couple has a child... just one. That's it. Everyone else is childless so I don't know, is that common? It never really occurred to me how weird that is until just now watching this podcast. None of us talk about kids. With sports for boys I can tell one thing that happened with our son. He was very shy and introverted and we waited until he was six to put him in judo but by that time he was too scared and anxious to even try. I wish we started him even younger in sports though there's never a guarantee of anything. In hindsight I would have started him earlier. As it turned out, he just wouldn't participate in organized sports. He was fine in school gym class but wanted nothing to do with the municipal sports. He is more into nature stuff now, cycling, fishing, canoeing etc. He's had no trouble at all with girls and then women and he grew out of the shyness but he still has anxiety as do his other siblings. The more I watch these podcasts the more I see that my ex-wife was very male in the way she thought or thinks, likes and desires, the way she communicates and intimate behavior. She told me once that almost everyone she dated it was she who asked them out, in including me. Only one guy ever asked her out. She has confidence in abundance so no surprise I guess. On the flipside she hasn't got patience for anything. That's why she went ahead and asked guys out. She wasn't going to wait for them to approach her. Never heard of "Token Resistance". I agree that young people are less socialized due to amount of screen time and believing long distance face-time "dating" is real socializing. I doesn't teach the social skills to meet people in person. All the young people I know are so highly anxious they don't want to even approach the workers in a store if they can't find something. They have trouble calling a complete stranger to ask ie. if a store has something in stock, to get a car repair etc. FFS if you can't do that, ,how on earth are you going to meet girls and then women? I grew up in the 60's and 70's... a totally different planet to today.

[@cristinafarmer]

Horses in the wild, stallions have a high level of parental investment, and are very attached to their offsprings.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@KnottyCeltic]

Everyone should read about all the levels of FGM, it's horrific. As your guest Andrew says, horrifying esp those cultures that practice the most extreme FGM. If you look it up, there are still too many countries doing this even in modern, developed countries with good education. Here in the West they just send their girls back to their country of origin to have it done to them in a proper hospital. In virtually untouched communities in Africa, it's still done with sharp pieces of metal or broken glass, no anti-microbials at all, no sanitary procedures, infections and death from pathogens and the list goes on and on. Not only when they are healed and have to be cut open to allow a baby to be born they are repeated sewed up, cut open, sewed up, cut open over and over.

[@AtheismF7W]

A barbaric and backwards practice.

[@MeaningSeekerPod]

Love it. 👏

[@adrianlastname4864]

A haircut and a shave... I don't like it but I'll try it

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@Bill0102]

This content is of the highest echelon. A similar book was life-altering for me. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@elainelee4828]

The Chinese women feet binding is a sign for social status. Only family with enough resource could afford their daughters not do any laborious work. Women with regular feet size almost had no chance of marrying anyone, their desirability is lower than prostitutes.

[@adrianstumpp5883]

The influence of the people around you was a little bit hard for me to hear. My son goes to school at a Title I school in the US, which means a poverty community school. almost all of his friends are being raised by single moms. There's a few single dads, actually. My family might be the only one in his social circle with a mom and a dad in the home living together. I'm by no means rolling in tons of money, but we are definitely the most financially secure family in our neighborhood. I guess what I'm wondering is here: Dr Thomas says you want to be the least rich family in your community because your kids will benefit from the influence of the families around you. I wonder what's in it for the richest family? After all, someone has to be that guy. Surely there's something in it for him to be the most stable among a group that is relatively less stable. I love this community and I want to do well for it, but I constantly have this nagging voice in the back of my head that says "you've got to get your family out of here." But I'm not a quitter. I hate the feeling of giving up on people. Is there nothing my child gains by being raised in a lower-income community?

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@nackedgrils9302]

Your children will probably develop a greater sense of empathy and humbleness if all goes well for them but I don't see any other upside to your situation (just my uneducated guess). If you feel like you are a positive influence in your community and that helping other people adds to your quality of life, you might not be so bad as it is. I think that the point they are making is that the more higher-up people you know and hang out with, the more opportunities you'll get and the opposite is also true. I tend to hang out with other losers and my life hasn't been getting better because I don't meet new interesting people because these people aren't drawn to people like us, most of my friends don't have a job, so I don't get any insider job opportunities, we're uneducated so we have limited social circles and resources, etc.

[@lekanteto]

If everybody wants to be around people that are richer than themselves, then that is not going to work. Somebody has to be the richer guy helping the others. That can be a very fulfilling role because you help others to improve their lives.

[@TorMax9]

Move to a stable community with stable families. Nature hates a vacuum. Energy flows from higher pressure to lower pressure. If you stay, they gain, you lose. Unless you have some kind of spiritual calling like Mother Teresa. Resentment, envy, equity will raise its ugly head. Your children's peer groups will drag them down to their level.

[@mrs.americanpie2079]

I imagine there is done research on this, but you might also consider that this interview is correct about the importance of peer group. As to not wanting to “give up on people” how many people in your school community have communicated to you that they need your help, inspirational example or emotional support to better their lives? If they do need you and you do help them but you hinder your son, can you live with that? What will tell him ten years down the line if he asks you why you made this choice if you had doubts about how it would affect him?

[@IamDeathIncarnate1337]

when I think "courting", I think "woo".

[@stevefrench7036]

Damn, l really have a hearing problem, when he said "@Dr Thomas HG", I heard "Dr Toxic Jew"....

[@blackmarketarmy]

Chris - Chinese foot binding was a way to show that you have so much money that your wife does not have to work, that you could afford servants who could take care of things around the house. Lower class men would of course not be able to bind their wives feet because there was too much work to be done around the house. It was a status symbol to show you were upper class, it was not a method to keep your wife from running away, at least that was not the main purpose.

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@whatsupbudbud]

1:14:30 In a gist, women want to know whether you: a) are a fuckboy b) if you are, is this a recent thing (bad) or a period in your life which implies personality growth (good). Totally understandable for me as a man.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Being a fukcboy is not an indication of growth

[@whatsupbudbud]

@@wyleecoyotee4252 Read again.

[@bolt-dbtfg]

47:30 no such thing as Toxic masculinity. it's used to describe only the aspect of masculinity that are not beneficial to the feminine. In this day and age people are taught to be a better human is to be more feminine. And in the same breath when taking about the boys in the park, complaining about the absence of masculine role models he wants them to stop behaving in a way that's is instinctively masculine.

[@valindabalcarzar8305]

“…since sliced bread…” haha😂

[@TravisJones812]

Dating within your race is probably a good bet unless you are an expatriate or something - I've never been interested in non-white girls for long-term relationships but I had to start realistically considering dating women in their 30s (I was 43) in order to find my wife. I had been treating women like they turned into pumpkins or something after age 30. We're expecting our second kid and she isn't forty (or a pumpkin) yet.

[@kimjin-hyub3413]

Yeah . . .

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@_fay-vo]

@@kimjin-hyub3413 **👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@missfaztudo9312]

Sorry, you were 43 and only want to date women on their 20's?.hahahahahahahahahahah

[@EvolianTiger]

...What?

[@juhel5531]

Don't allow your kids to do anything that makes you hate them is flawed if your kid ends up much smarter than you or much dumber than you by the luck of the draw, all of the parenting and social skill techniques that will be needed to nurture them will be something you hate because of the huge disparity in intellect. Then again it's still a good heuristic and the case I gave is an exception.

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@KnottyCeltic]

Great show. I forgot to say in my other post that boys can't learn how to approach girls in porn b/c the door bell rings... pizzas here... clothes are off, rumpy-pumpy and done. lol No socializing goes on. Kids need diverse types of socializing from jump in order to progress into more intimate socializing as they mature.

[@counselorguy5481]

Why is it boys who must approach, though? Why don't we encourage women to approach and ask men out? A woman whose pro equality is a turn on

[@disheveling]

I need help figuring out how not to resent this man's wife for likely not matching if he displayed his actual height, off by one inch 63% of men and 34% of women ages 18-29 are single in the US.. Doesn't affect me but I worry for the younger generations

[@disheveling]

​@@kc6810 He stated he put in 6ft-1 to game the filtering. The point was the woman is clearly compatible with this man as a potential life partner, and she would have glossed over him because he's one inch shorter than her standard. He got his foot in the door with his lie, were this an even playing field some could see it as unfair, but from my perspective he made the right call

[@disheveling]

@@kc6810 I don't know about this man, but if someone I matched with thought putting 6ft-1 would indicate I'm a liar, this person is not very creative and I wouldn't be as interested ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Disregarding that, yes it's obviously ultimately her own decision. It's also the same reason more than 50% of women are projected to be single in the west by 2030, which will produce some pretty drastic results on the male population

[@disheveling]

@@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT I'm glad you were able to find your way and look back positively on your experiences, but you're a part of the problem, and just another statistic. I would go out on a limb to say the husband got the raw end of that deal. I also think you were on birth control before getting married and stopped and divorced after going off the pill (or reaching menopause), not before, but that's a shot in the dark lol. Divorces are initiated by women like 80% of the time in the west, and one of the highest risk demographics for suicide in males is in their 30s/40s, when their wives divorce them for greener pastures You chose the wrong person, you failed to work with him to become the man of your dreams. You left him without children and thank him for his service as you 'explore yourself'

[@disheveling]

@@kc6810 Lol I'm not going to assume her gender using an emoji that's just silly, the person did not state one herself. If you read my comment I'm projecting hard, I don't really care if they're actually the husband

[@Foxie770]

At least this Dr is married. I keep wondering why Chris is still single??

[@AtheismF7W]

Because he has plently of options and doesn't need/Want a gf.

[@maximuscomfort]

He is a smart dude and a free agent on purpose. A GF would distract it. IMHO

[@nackedgrils9302]

Chris is too low-status to get a girlfriend, he's only 5'11, has a slightly patchy beard, not even 1M subscribers and doesn't own his private jet. He's definitely an incel.

[@AmeliaBodilia]

He has a barbed penis.

[@tonieslychane]

25:15 i dont htink it's less fluid because when you're 10, a year is 10% of your life so a year corresponds to 3 years when you're 30

[@johnrockefeller176]

10:10 competitive advantage meeting strategies

[@paulwary]

He may not be the only gay in the village, but OMG he's openly Welsh!

[@_fay-vo]

*👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*

[@blackzeus4869]

CHRIS IMA BIG FAN OF THE CHANNEL. BIG UP

[@_fay-vo]

**👆👆ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ᴍsɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ❤🥂*