17 Ugly Psychology Truths No One Wants To Admit - Adam Lane Smith

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than KZbin by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Should Women Have Sex on the First Date? 07:06 People Who Are Obsessed with Politics are Messy & Unhappy 11:16 The Danger of Avoiding Uncomfortable Conversations 17:36 How Our Relationships Are Being Systematically Destroyed 24:18 Both Men & Women Hate the Dating Scene 30:49 The Key to Protecting Your Marriage from Divorce 34:36 Why Men Are Demonised in Marriage Therapy 41:21 The Disadvantages of Sending Your Baby to Daycare 47:01 Most Men Don’t Understand Female Communication 52:10 The Difference in Perspectives of Past Romantic History 57:41 Do Men Want Respect More Than Love? 1:01:06 The World Doesn’t Want Men to Have Any Power 1:12:33 If You Love Your Children, You’d Let them See Your Separated Partner 1:16:19 Why Nice Guys Finish Last 1:22:17 Where to Find Adam

[@asdfasdf8659]

8:34 don't worry they will not gender transition ur kids . Or take you kids if you miss gender them . Let them do politics you just care about you family "Propaganda during the Nazi era told people to focus solely on their families, leading to horrors beyond imagination. While our context is different, the idea of being silent and only caring about our own lives bears resemblance. Drawing a parallel to history is about learning from the past to prevent harm in the present. Just as we look back at atrocities and wonder how society allowed them, we must evaluate current practices with the same scrutiny. In history, government-approved medical practices caused immense suffering. Forced sterilizations, lobotomies, and the Tuskegee Syphilis Study were atrocities justified by misguided 'greater good' claims. These were practices that were deemed acceptable at the time but are now seen as horrific and unethical. When we confront the issue of forcibly transitioning children and medical procedures that can lead to sterilization, we're invoking the past to emphasize the importance of vigilance. It's crucial to recognize that by avoiding these discussions for fear of offending, we risk overlooking potential harm. Speaking out against perceived wrongs, regardless of sensitivities, is how society evolves and prevents repeating past horrors. Our intent is to highlight the need for open dialogue, ethical considerations, and safeguarding children's well-being above all else."

[@sunfish4095]

Great convo! The U.S. and west implemented the former soviet union model for divorce and child care after the cultural revolution. It's been a disaster!

[@ginamarierubyalexander7204]

Too Many Intruptive Commercials 😢

[@davedogge2280]

I just take note of politics to see what bad or good things are coming and I keep it to myself.

[@zeroexea]

Sharing your emotions and being vulnerable AKA the opposite of what a woman wants which is a strong man that'll be her rock . . . . There's a contradiction here. Now either women are lying about what they want Or they consciously want one thing which is what they communicate but instinctually want something else.

[@craigshuman5023]

That take the relationship seriously thing is such a cop-out. What many women seem to mean by "take a relationship seriously is "give me my way or get lost". I watched a man bend over backwards for 17 years to stay "married" and every time his spouse didn't get her way she would tell him "if you don't like it you can just leave". When he finely left, she convinced herself that there was an affair.

[@aliross2720]

Yes but you can't take one example of one toxic woman and then apply that to all women. If a woman was married to a physically abusive brute for 17years, do this mean that all men are the same? of course not. There's plenty of men who have been married for decades to good women and women who have been married to abusive men, All people are individuals and no two people are exactly the same.

[@craigshuman5023]

@@aliross2720 Your point is true. Yet at this point, societally, it is the "woman" who gets "the benifit of the doubt" in any instance of "he said, she said". Even female children seem to do it and are believed. Such things should NOT be tolerated no matter where it came from. Yet it is. It has only been in the last decade that in some courts men have been allowed to even make a case for child custody. Women are allowed to kill a man's gestating child with absolutely no input in the process. Are these things equitable? Yes these situations are "anecdotal." Yet the stereotypes are so ingrained what few studues of the subject that may exist have little to no exposure outside academic circles.

[@bettedavis45]

But he isn't talking about those women, he is talking about secure women. Just because you know a guy whose relationship doesn't apply to this doesn't mean it is BS. Also, there are too sides of the story. You're only getting what he is telling you about her, he isn't gonna tell you all the things he did wrong. There is a man out there who thinks my mom "turned" me against him and he tells everyone this, he never tells them all the times he went to rehab, failed and would threaten us after he went out on a bender. Don't believe men who are always saying it's womens fault and their fault alone.

[@anthonyhewitt9397]

​@@aliross2720but I do think there is something in a woman's nature to make that more common on the woman's side tho. A little narcissistic. I think its an evolutionary thing making the man do more and give more to the woman to give her offspring the best chance of survival. But you will see woman without children doing this bc they feel like can just replace you or atleast threaten it.

[@michaelrobertson1736]

100%

[@DollyChisolm]

One word - Outstanding. As a psychotherapist working with couples this nailed so much of what I see in the therapy room. We need more of these conversations, when we heal relationships we heal the family, when we heal the family we heal the village, when we heal the village we heal the world. I am a fairly regular viewer of MW this has to be the best podcast so far. Bravo guys.

[@MattyLiam333]

😂😂😂

[@BetterLoveMovement]

AGREED‼️ I’m a licensed couples therapist and I LIVE for this work! It’s absolutely needed. We must improve our relationships to have a meaningful, joy filled life. This guy is GOLD!👌🏽🙌🏽❤️

[@david9920]

This is what is needed true but I think it's idealism in the real world problems of poverty content competing and the lack of a philosophy that Gidding culture. We live in a culture that is a cult of the self is it not wise if once bitten twice shy. I have a hard time finding lasting love in a culture that can't see beyond the self. Are we doomed as a culture if Chang soon?

[@harmonyqueue]

When my supervisor mentioned her 11-year-old daughter hasn't wanted to see her father since he made some inappropriate comments about a trans person in public, this was what I brought up. At 11, she doesn't understand that she's actually establishing a pattern of avoidance, not that she's standing up for her "values." She's too inexperienced with relationships to weigh the long-term harm of "ghosting" a parent, relative, friend, neighbor, coworker, etc. vs. "distancing" from them. My point to my supervisor was that, as parents, we need to opportunize scenarios like her daughter's conflict with her father to teach them effective conflict management. Imagine this 11-year-old girl going into her teenage years with the experience of learning to confront ethical conflicts with adults without escalating the conflict? That kid would go into the hardest years of her youth with the ability to ground herself separate from her disagreements with other people.

[@dranreb1118]

Adam was great but Chris' culture war takes really distract from the episode. His whole "men vs women" shtick is really getting old. He sounds like he watched Fresh and Fit or Andrew Tate or something

[@idk-imacat]

Just sent a text to my husband letting him know how much I respect him. Adam always gives such great advice

[@taylor_tony]

You've shown that you are a keeper. A lovable woman. If you weren't, be specific about why you respect him. He'll appreciate ever more your demonstration of respect. I wish you and your husband a fulfilling life 🙂

[@idk-imacat]

@@taylor_tony thank you! I was specific and I try to remember this, as I've heard Adam say it before but it's nice to get a reminder

[@Jay_Hendrix]

​@@kc6810Just ask him "Have I ever told you how much I respect you?"

[@vladrileynavilys]

I say it's weird as well. It's something that should transpire from your actions and attitude. Saying it out loud sounds like you did something or thought in a way that could be the contrary of that respect.

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

@@vladrileynavilys Absolutely not. Imagine a man gettin' grumpy when his woman/wife's tryna ask him how much he loves her, then grumpily giving the "manly" answer of "Already told You that five years ago, didn't I?" - it is important to be said out loud. They don't do it and still ask themselves why their men are so miserable in their relationships/their company .....

[@mikeforseth]

"There is no toxic masculinity. There is masculinity or the lack of masculinity." Using this line from now on! I've had many conversations where I used a lot more words to try and say this.

[@Courage_n_Honour]

true, also women can be total kunts sometimes too @@kc6810

[@tzc9309]

@@kc6810 same for women though too i guess, so i guess that isnt gender specific

[@saltpro5603]

@@tzc9309exactly! There is no such thing as toxic masculinity.... only toxic people and some are male and some are female.

[@petershelton7367]

Are you saying masculinity is a toxic trait period. That’s the literal interpretation of your statement. Anything is toxic over a certain dose. Every heard of waterboarding or obesity. Masculinity is a relative notion in any case you can act as bold as you like but if a woman slights you or god forbid knock you down your masculinity evaporates.

[@saltpro5603]

@@petershelton7367saying that toxic is toxic, wether masculine or feminine. There are only toxic people and sometimes they are male and sometimes female. Lack of masculinity in a male is also toxic, just as lack of femininity in a female is toxic.

[@SanFranita]

I stopped internet dating a long time ago because the endless parade of awful dates made me start, not only feeling bad about myself, but even more feeling bad about men. I didn’t want to have that inside me. I’d rather just be alone.

[@user-mq5rh6ew7p]

I feel the same way on dating apps. I dont fulfill the "666" rule so why botber. Plus I cant take a good picture of myself to save my life. I too stay away from them because they give me really negative opinions about women. Which I know deep down are not true.

[@blackdeath4eternity]

sorry to hear it, but also understandable. best of luck offline dating :P .

[@Joshukend]

I wasn't obsessed with politics, but literally a week ago it clicked that since my breakup, I've had a stream of nihilism underneath my entire being. Lost a 5 year relationship with someone I still loved very much, was denied from 200 job applications, and haven't been able to get a date in over a year. It suddenly clicked that I was hostage to my sense of doom about global/governmental/corporate/modern dating junk and it was likely sabotaging everything. I am aiming up and believing for good things again and meditating and tell these things to myself, however wistful and naive it sounds, it makes me a far better person to be around and I doubt it'll be long until I break this dateless streak and other areas get back on track.

[@blackdeath4eternity]

glad to hear your keeping your chin up, goodluck.

[@carolyna.869]

I bet you will feel better to go hiking and be in nature-- to focus on what is lasting and keeps growing rather than the world of ideas.

[@BlackMan614]

And if you think that today's politics are somehow different - look at the 1964 LBJ/Goldwater election. Nothing has changed.

[@thparelli3]

Good for you. Keep going.

[@grantfrith9589]

Awesome! Sounds like the results of the "clean your room" advice from a certain psychologist. Aiming up as a general principle looks to me to be as good advice as any. My wife lost 40 kilograms when she finally left behind the burden of her misaligned motivations. The fascinating new life she lived effected a large group of friends and family in exquisitely positive ways that 20 years later you can see healthy social connections directly related to her choices. That same psychologist Ive heard say "we dont know the limits of that" still represents the best advice from acadamia I can imagine. It's application from "clean your room" might be a bit abstract but the formula is perfect if the basic principle is understood in a personal context...

[@kathryncallahan7355]

I was put in daycare very young and I know that that is the reason why I struggle with anxiety and depression. Later, my dad abandoned the family when I was in my tweens so that added to it. I don’t have any friends except my husband. I’m very lonely. I have four kids and I was thinking lately how a damaged person like myself could raise secure children. I listened to another attachment therapist on KZbin and she said people with disorganized attachment should give their children the childhood they wanted. I have already done that. Im a stay at home mom (never worked while I had children), a breastfed (my mom didn’t. She always thought it was gross), and now Im homeschooling them and am building a deeper relationship with them. I hope and believe that because of those choices, my kids will have secure attachments and be able to bond and have close relationships.

[@pinyao1]

My mom was a cycle-breaker too. I enjoy the good brain chemistry she worked to give me but never got to enjoy herself. ❤ I have learned there are ways to re train your oxytocin response from early environments of deprivation. There's a book called 'the chemistry of connection' that's helpful.

[@RHFitness_1]

By far one of my favourite guest ever on a podcast overall. Adam, you are a legend 🫡

[@RegularSizeRick]

His coaching is worth of every penny.

[@BasedBazz]

That alley comment was ridiculous. He's part of the problem for men.

[@drich8806]

@@BasedBazzyou got a time stamp? I might have missed it

[@luwado]

I do not remember that part but am curious to know why that agitated so many. Could somebody explain? @@BasedBazz

[@HappinessDIY]

Followed his account

[@GodWorksOut]

Here an ugly truth: Several decades of societal programming cannot override thousands of years of biological and psychological evolution.

[@TheRexTera]

We’re about 50.000 to 100.000 years of evolutionary psychology away from evolving into our current society. I’m starting to realise how dated our “wetware” is…

[@andrespereira7007]

That's such a misogynistic, patriarchal, probably white supremacist and transphobic thing to say! You hurt my feelings 😢😂

[@butterflymage5623]

I disagree. I want to fuck a lot with as many women as I can. However through discipline I can achieve the mental will to not do this and do better with my life and achieve more then spending time trying to chase women. 💁🏽‍♂️

[@alexryan43244]

@@andrespereira7007 golden

[@JadesFitnessBucketList]

100% I wish more people understood this.

[@RobJaeger]

This episode gave me the words I needed to be able to share something with my wife that I haven’t been able to. Thank you.

[@46positivity]

Chris, please keep having Adam on your show. These are my favorite episodes.

[@BillySherbert]

Adam and Chris together are fucking BEASTS.

[@vladrileynavilys]

This guy gives me fake experts vibes. Lots of approximations and generalisations. "People do this, people think that.." I dont know, i might have the wrong impression.

[@Rx7man]

@@vladrileynavilys there are no absolutes when dealing with human behavior, but there certainly are valid generalizations.. that's where stereotypes come from.

[@farmfarmdorrie]

The daycare aspect discussed here is huge. Social/demographic disparity in what the mother (& father) can financially provide to allow for this early bond is key. The social effects of this disparity are far reaching & very complicated. Thank you both for this comprehensive conversation.

[@manfredschmalbach9023]

It won't change a thing unless nobody's having kids anymore. People do already not have kids in numbers they used to, while it's still alot and too many for things to change fundamentally. Even Japan, a society quickly marching towards real extinction given the current birth rates does not have the balls to change things fundamentally.

[@carolyna.869]

The day care issue is HUGE. It would be great if women would close their legs to anyone who wasn't their husband and if they only married men willing to support them and their children. This used to be the norm. Since the deviation and push to have all mothers working, childhood has been completely changed and the quality of adult we see is tragically different.

[@MrEdrftgyuji]

It is funny how women consider it empowering to work full time then pay all that money to someone else to look after their kids for them.

[@imanisteele1920]

I’ve worked in daycares and preschools (including for children with special needs), and while many services do their best; we tend to other people's children as though they are our own, We are not these children’s parents and there is no sufficient substitute for them. The first 5 years of a human life determine a huge percentage of how that being will develop, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, etc. On all levels and in so many ways that will affect them for life. The way they value and perceive themselves, their relationship attachment Styles, learning styles, and so forth. It's horrendous that the US doesn't allow parents more maternal and paternal Leave.

[@sherribarzola7633]

100%

[@hydr3537]

I dont know another guest that has come on 4 times, because he was so good. Im a big fan of adam and i hope you keep having him on.

[@elsbells.]

Always love a bit of Adam. He's so underrated and wish he was experiencing larger influxes of followers.

[@zhshsG7]

This is one of the best psychologist interviews I've ever seen. Very much realistic and balanced between red pill and feminism.

[@steveunderhill5935]

Less than 15 min in and I’m screenshotting the transcript

[@Mason-ho9pe]

Shockingly on point for everything I’m going through and seeing in many. Though all I can hear is Agent Smith saying “it is purpose that created us, purpose that connects us, purpose that pulls us, that guides us, that drives us; it’s purpose that defines, purpose that binds us.”

[@sonmorua3871]

Thats wishfull thinking. Our existence has absolutely no purpose. Not saying you cant give existence a purpose.

[@BrandonCourt]

I don't think it's about saying precisely the words "I respect you" but instead just treating the man with respect.

[@lindajohnson4204]

Could it also be a matter that the respect shown is sincere? Traditionalism may have begun on the basis of sincere respect and truth (in fact, I know that is its Christian basis), but degenerated into insincere flattery. This sick doctrine depended on the idea that men's "fragile egos" needed the ego strokes of _flattery,_ and the wise _(manipulative!!!)_ woman knew how to give it to them. God never intended it to be like that, yet this stuff was held up as the conservative ideal! If you want to know what God thinks of flattery and flatterers, the Bible has plenty to say about them! And I could never understand what a man could find so gratifying about making sure he was getting his fair share of flattery. I think it would have been soul crushing to know that the best you could expect was lies, calculated to get on your good side, to get the flatterer what she wanted. "The ideal Christian marriage": grrrr-rrrr... This "conservatuve spokeswoman" with a radio program about marriage used to say, 'Girls, we know we're the ones who make things run, but we've got to make the man feel like he's the one...' "After all, he's just a man." Yikes! Since when did truth die, and make lies God? No! A good marriage is based on truth, with true love, appreciation and sincere respect. Don't settle for the ugly, lying guile of flattery. You want and need the real thing.

[@markblocker4981]

Bingo. Talk is cheap.

[@markblocker4981]

​@@lindajohnson4204, speech that is TRUE is supported by ACTIONS. So I very much agree with your point.

[@levalas91]

Episodes about dating and reminders of the heartbreak-rich nice-guy past that one is hauling with him are always reliable keys to cry yourself to sleep, while also being the hook to watch an 80mins podcast in one sitting.

[@sarah2853]

I understand that relationships and closeness with your family brings joy but there’s also the thing about family bringing a lot of pain.

[@thesexman6337]

talking of men needing respect. i just became 18 like a few months ago, im a guy and i had my first job at the begining of this year one night after i came back from the job i went to the supermarket to get something to eat and on the way out i crumpled the change into my pocket. some lady in her 20's or 30's saw that and yelled after me that i dropped my change. she used "sir" that was the first time i was called Sir. it was kinda of confidence boost ngl

[@MBA-KM]

As a mother & HR Manager, my post-birth 2022 work experience was: - 6 weeks 100% paid (govt-guaranteed w/a corp. employer) - 6 weeks 100% paid (mostly guaranteed w/ F500 company employer) - 4 weeks vacation (saved from the previous year) - 4 weeks 75% pay (after obtaining specialists' notes for extra time - most ppl don't have access to these doctors) - 2 weeks unpaid Ultimately, I was laid off within 6 weeks of returning to work. Although I don't regret prioritizing my son for 5 months (I had read the study he referred to about babies), the process was difficult. If I hadn't taken that time off, I might not have been laid off. My situation is better than most women's due to my means.

[@tzc9309]

But i mean looking at this outside the scope of women's rights and purely from an economic standpoint. there are a lot of layoffs right now, and we are in a recession off the back of covid. Many companies may just be looking to cut staff right now too, and at the time period you mentioned. So as a singular example given the current time/economic period we are in, this may have had an influence on the outcome (not necessarily speaking historically here). Also in a business environment work doesn't stop needing to get done, that is the unfortunate reality. Cannot have multiple members of necessary staff missing and the business suffer - the aim of a business is to make money at the end of the day not compensate for the workers personal life choices. Like essentially getting paid for 5 months without working is not a bad situation by any means, but you are right in saying that is probably a lot better than most. A woman should have every right to spend time with their children, should companies have to compensate for this for longer than a few months? If so what is a good cut off point, and is it justifiable to expect this from a business? What if people then have children irresponsibly knowing this? What becomes the situation for smaller companies who really cannot afford to do such a thing? Is it morally correct to expect someone else to compensate for your own choices? Etc etc. I think the answer is it is already a pretty good situation to get paid for not working for an extended period of time, plus many women are able to continue working at the same companies.

[@PAX---777]

HR is a joke. Worthless waste of time.

[@eduardoguizarperez8417]

You were laid off because your productivity went down?

[@MBA-KM]

@@eduardoguizarperez8417They framed it as a “restructure of my role,” so they added certain responsibilities that changed the job itself so then that meant the role I was in was no longer available. I was laid off right after returning and asked about productivity/performance and was told that it was not that. I’m not entirely sure what to believe but life moves on & many layoffs were happening at that time.

[@blondscientist]

​@@tzc9309governments pay (or should) to the employers for the maternity leave, it's not employer's money. I do accept that it may be a cost to the employer to organise a substitute, but that's minor in comparison.

[@Matthiass721]

Got a strong mental image when Adam said “put your hands on his chest and say ‘I respect you’”, and felt pressure behind my eyes. Pretty sure he is spot on, “I love you” practically has no meaning to me anymore.

[@alirezabami1776]

I live in Iran and i love watching dr lane smith with you , last week i made contact with the girl of my dreams and with Dr's lessons now I'm the only one she thinks we can be together. Thank you Chris Williamson for these amazing podcast.

[@worththewatch1517]

Dadash Eyval Dari 🤝

[@Renwa82]

This guy has a father's heart and it really shows. The world needs more such as these. I really enjoyed his wisdom.

[@sandra66]

"Men can't be masculine because they'll scare people and women have to be masculine to try to protect themselves from perceived threats" Yes 🙌 And it's exhausting for women (at least for me 😅) to have to be strong all the time; just as it must be frustrating for men to not be masculine. Excellent podcast!

[@matthewriegner5180]

The trick is learning to put the armor down when you come home.

[@kitkakitteh]

@@matthewriegner5180 that's a male ability, wired in thru evolution. Women are wired to learn to shut down compassion/empathy when we GO OUTSIDE the family. 2 different complimentary skills.

[@matthewriegner5180]

@@kitkakitteh trick is LEARNING to put the armor down when you come home.

[@LuckysLair]

Men are told they're "Toxic" by society, coming from all sorts of sources in media, it's very frustrating to go against your nature and programming......women are told they're "strong" "brave" "stunning" etc etc for doing the same things.

[@tzc9309]

@@garyfrancis6193 lol

[@dystoniaify]

My mother would actually yell at me that she had to sacrifice for me when I was very young. Now I'm a single, female at age 43. For all the bad about technology, young people can find gems like this video.

[@janisjekabsons6252]

Thats horrible

[@ipercalisse579]

Single woman 40 here. I never had a long lasting relationship. People believe I just wanted to have fun. No. I knew very well what this guy says right at the beginning. I'm 7 years celibate. I dont remember sex anymore... but better not doing it, than doing it with a man who ghosts you, who tells you you were just an option. Because when this happens to a woman it hurts 100 more than to a man. We should all be honest, folk. Sexual revolution messed with us all.

[@MrEdrftgyuji]

Similar with myself, except I'm a man. My mother used to shout at me when I was 3 or 4 years old about how she couldn't go out drinking with her friends any more because she was stuck having to look after me.

[@lucas6909]

absolutely love this guy's takes and the chemistry between you two. Need more episodes with Adam

[@SamStone1964]

He has a youtube channel

[@Anon.User.602]

Hands down! One of the best episodes ever. The guest knows very well what he is talking about and no political correctness or similar b.s. here. You are killing it, Chris.

[@PockASqueeno]

This is one of the most insightful videos of yours that I’ve seen. Just for one single thing that the therapist said: Men bond by teaching! I’ve always kind of subconsciously known this about myself, but I’ve never really thought of it as a “men” thing. But I guess it is. All my life I’ve wanted to be a father. And hopefully by God’s grace I will be someday. Why? Because I deeply desire to pass on what little knowledge and wisdom I have. I don’t necessarily want to be a teacher in the traditional sense, like teaching English or math. People can learn that from anyone. But the unique wisdom I get from my own life experience. I don’t have kids, but I’ve got nieces and nephews. I want them to respect me, particularly for my wisdom. In the rare instances when I’m teaching them something about adult life, I feel incredibly close to them. Playing with them is cool, but teaching them is a thousand times better. Even with older folks it’s the same. I often feel distant from my parents…but they’re boomers and are very attached to old technology, particularly cable TV. I’ve been trying to convince them to just switch to KZbin and streaming video. I’ve been telling them how it’s not only cheaper but also more entertaining and even more informative. And they’ve been considering it thanks to me. So now that this has been happening, I feel much closer to my parents than I ever have when simply talking about my life over dinner. And I guess this is a male desire. My dad does the same with me. He’s been trying to teach me how to manage my retirement savings. So I guess men really do bond by teaching. It’s certainly true of me, and now I know why!

[@moonknight4053]

I learnt a lot from my dog, she was the most precious thing in the world to me. She taught me to love, love and love; but to always protect myself from the dangers of the world. I’m in a state of wanting to delete myslef versus try to heal from her death. Pets are amazing teachers, I also have a good dad. I don’t feel judged crying around him. Here’s to love and the power behind it

[@nakitanash]

Teaching ANYTHING to anyone is a deeply emotional and intimate process. Even English and Math, if we are actually tuned into our beloved student. Sometimes even more, things like English and math because we have to make something contrived feel natural. It's how, not what we teach. And we have to reach through example in every way, so if we only have a little knowledge to pass down or share, the best thing to do is acquire more and bolster that with confidence and consistency. Learning is very difficult on a mental and emotional level. It requires one to stretch into the unknown and expand their capacity. To steward someone through that process is to be a teacher of that process.

[@x_Artius_x]

I don’t think “I respect you” is really what I’m looking for… but I have had a few partners say “you inspire me” and that has stuck with me forever. I feel like that statement is even higher than “I love you” or “I respect you”.

[@7elisha]

I think to be inspired by someone takes a certain level of respect, no? Obviously whether you like “I respect you” or “you inspire me” is obviously opinion oriented. “I respect you” is a form of saying “you inspire me” and much more

[@BenLWolf]

You totally inspired them to find a better partner!

[@The_Travelling_Tradesman]

This gives me hope for humanity. Knowing the difference between men and women points of view, makes communication so much easier. Thanks guys great job!

[@MissNatalonga]

47:08 wow this segment is pure gold! I found myself nodding in agreement to everything Adam was saying. This is such important information for both men and women and knowing this would spare us so many uncomfortable moments with each other.

[@DarcyCarmen]

While I do enjoy Adam, he trips my BS meter a little bit. I think because he speaks of human relations in absolutes and rarely if ever appears introspective or admits fault. On the surface, everything he says makes sense but over time you notice how he refers to complex relationships with the same certainty as a mechanic talking about a bad engine part. There seems to be a lack of grey area, which in my experience is all of the human experience.

[@sassycaterpillar6631]

Unfortunately, I think he does it to appeal to the anti-red pill demographic. Controversy gets more attention. Not a fan, but I see that with a lot of people that get popular. To the average listener, conviction in what people say communicates how trustworthy and accurate they are. I think of it as a hijacking of common sense that usually make people think "if he's wrong or doesn't know for a fact he'd have a little bit of doubt in what he says."

[@Asto508]

Your intuition is very right. There is a lack of nuance because that's his whole game. He would never admit that there are just bad people out there that you simply should not be in a relationship with. It's all abstract talk about generalities without looking at actual individuals.

[@MijoShrek]

The number one thing that is an absolute fact he's right about is there are two dating pools. The dating pool that are not good at relationships get stuck in that pool and make each other miserable. I've moved around the country and realize the future of an area and the people that are there effect everything else outwardly. It's culture.

[@gwho]

This is partly an issue with English. You have to get the main point across, and that usually means the most natural, simplistic sentence structures. Try to be nuanced, and hedge your probabilities and caveats and exceptions, and you start sounding really academic and professors and dry and long. Communication majors talk about this tradeoff, simplicity and actually getting the concept vs full comprehensive nuance and caveat and being overwhelmed and being turned off and being less effective than an oversight.plifird version

[@DarcyCarmen]

@@gwho Sorry, as a native English speaker myself, this is untrue (in the context here). There are MANY native English speakers who speak clearly, with nuance, and humility. This fellow is not that guy. Maybe it’s hubris that’s setting it off for me? A complete surety (“This is what ALWAYS happens,” etc) is inconsistent with how variable people are. The English language does not force you to speak without vulnerability; this seems like an Adam quirk.

[@nicholaslamprey5762]

This guy is honest and spot on, particularly on the couple’s counselling and day care issue. The ability of people to be blind to the reality is astounding !

[@gameandwatchsonny]

Thank you for having the important conversations needed to grow in this world

[@tiagoquirino2214]

I really enjoy all the episodes with Adam. Chris, you should do a full series with this.

[@4kassis]

A written list , A WRITTEN LIST ! Right there I would have the most serious reservations for taking my marital problems to this man! But I think he is absolutely right about daycare.

[@nappa4317]

Decent communication in a relationship is depressingly rare. My ex fiance broke up with me semi out of the blue for me. I had been thinking there needed a shift in our activities. One night she tries to have a conversation with me about our relationship. She was so wrapped up in emotions that almost nothing coheriant came out. I was going to be out of town for a few days for classes. So I suggested she and I take a few days and organize our thoughts. Then we can talk again. I get back, we sit down. Before I could start, she says we are done. Was a shock. Still to this day idk why, still bugs me somedays.

[@ReginaMcNeish]

Did you ever ask why??

[@nappa4317]

Sort of. We talked a few years later. While we dated she was being treated for clinical depression. Which turned out after we broke up to be bi ploar. Her mother was pressuring her about my soft athiesim. I had hit a bad spot of apathy for anything but her. She thought her mental health issues were dragging me down with her. I learned from a friend of hers, that we fooled around to much. Which was my concern at the time she broke it off. I got enough. At the time I was so apathetic that I didnt contribute much to that last conversation. That is still a major regret.

[@quant2011]

​@@nappa4317beware of bipolars. Once you spot it, run !!!

[@gwho]

Assume monkey branching.

[@nappa4317]

@@gwho Na, nothing like that. I think her mistreated bi polar, and domineerng mother caused her to panic run.

[@MiranUT]

Another great conversation! I was happy to hear about telling my partner that I respect him! I've done that many times, as well as saying I love him! We're solid! The day care research is very interesting. I intuitively thought so, so my husband and I worked part-time and were able to take care of him without any day care (or babysitters) until he was 4 and went to kindy. We certainly were not rich during this time and actually went into the red a bit during the first four years, but we could catch up financially after that. We were also able to spend these years with our son because we have universal health insurance (here in Japan)!!!!

[@byyouthgonewild]

I love Adam episodes! Okay, I gotta admit, I felt a little attacked on the segment about parents feeling frustrated when they hear about non-parents’ elaborate morning routines etc. I’m definitely guilty of making those comments. But it’s absolutely not out of resentment for my own kids or feeling like I can’t achieve my dreams. My four kids (who are still young and need me constantly) ARE my dream, and always have been. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to also be a healthy, well-rounded individual with other pursuits. But they absolutely come first. I genuinely just want to know what other parents are doing… when they are sleep-deprived, when they need to carve out time for themselves or projects they are working on, when they have to prioritize. Are they hiring help? What resources are they utilizing to accomplish what they want/need to? Are their kids thriving while they are thriving? I think as parents (with young kids especially), we have to embrace that we have some limitations in what we can do compared to people who don’t have kids, but how can we creatively work with those limitations?

[@taylor_tony]

I understand how important it is for you to find answers to these questions ^_^ Unfortunately :( I cannot offer you solutions validated by experience, because I am childless, but, if I were you, I would look offline and online for mothers who seems to be living the lifestyle you would like to live, and I would ask them questions, respectfully, but in an investigative style, to understand: how can they live the lifestyle you would like them to live? What extra resources do they have that you don't that allows them to live it? What impediment do they have less, delegate, or manage with less time and energy than you?

[@byyouthgonewild]

@@taylor_tony Sure. I probably shouldn’t come to the bro-centric podcast and expect to receive helpful, nuanced parenting advice and perspectives. I wouldn’t expect Chris or Alex to provide that. Parents roll their eyes at the elaborate morning routines of Andrew Huberman (who I love) because it sounds quite luxurious to a sleep-deprived parent who hardly gets time in the mornings to themselves - and also unrealistic. Life can be chaotic and unpredictable with young kids. (Just last night, My oldest child who usually sleeps fine kept me up so late with tears and sobbing because she had itchy feet?? You just never know what the day will bring or how to prepare for it!) There have been times I have been so exhausted as a parent that I honestly couldn’t speak and form an intelligent sentence - an exhaustion I had never experienced previously. But if you’re a healthy parent you understand that there are seasons in life and you don’t resent your kids for it. I have felt deep love for my kids while cleaning up their vomit in late hours of the night and cuddling with them at 3 am in an uncomfortable recliner for hours, but I also hope to get to the Huberman routines one day… eventually… just not in this season. With that said, parental resentment towards kids is real and damaging to the parent-child relationship. It does happen. I’ve seen it in unhealthy parents. Often ones who became parents before they wanted to… and/or generally are not getting help that they need, emotionally and in caring for their kids. Another issue is the lack of modern “villages” and supportive family structures in caring for young children.

[@byyouthgonewild]

Bottom line. Parents get to make fun of “high-productivity” routines. Not because we resent our kids or are making excuses for ourselves, but because we’ve earned that privilege through the intense and essential (and often chaotic) productivity of perpetuating our species, which many of the guests (and Chris) don’t seem to be contributing to at the moment 😂 (Especially moms!)

[@brentives4688]

I've found that the more time and energy I pour into my kids, the more I have for myself. It also helps to teach them to sleep and to do chores.

[@Olson185]

I don't respond well to serious content delivered using mocking impressions of others. I listened twice but couldn't reconcile the factual sincerity of the message with how emotionally the message was often delivered. It makes me want to fact check the entire interview.

[@gwho]

You know, media people go ont multiple different shows, repeating the same content. Catch someone on a tired or stressed day, saying the same thing for the 29th time, people might sound that way. It is rather the overly enthusiastic, always on, extra extraverted types that send my alarm bells ringing. Fake, salsey emotionally manipulative way of talking.

[@phantomopera5525]

It has the same effect on me. Same as for people who put themselves as the example to follow, like this guy with his four children and so on.

[@Damian-rq3dj]

Absolutely excellent episode. I’ve never heard someone touch on this points in such an eloquent manner.

[@Halpedersen]

I'm not afraid of much in life, but that statistic on the amount of time spent with your kid by the time they're 12 being 75% of the time you'll spend with them over your whole life terrified me.

[@CinnabarCalisthenics]

Now run the numbers for your parents, basically the inverse 😳

[@Romie15]

I get so happy when Adam Lane Smith is on the show!! Thank you ❤

[@ninamartin1084]

Having 'those conversations' is very difficult in a world where family and friends don't want to have them with you, where professionals are too expensive and where there are years-long waiting lists on the NHS for even telephone therapy. And as for diagnosis - I asked my GP to see a diagnostician and he just said 'no'. Then he asked me why I wanted a diagnosis and seems surprised when I told him 'so I can access appropriate treatment'.

[@annewrites...8385]

Adam, I have just found the mentor for my 14 year old son. You have revealed the workings of relationships, men and women beautifully, and accurately. Very valuable information. Thank you, Chris, for getting Adam on the program. This video hits my top 3 of all time.

[@Brickinasock]

Great guest. Huge respect for psychotherapeutic approaches.

[@MikesOnAPlane-bv7is]

Man this is such a refreshing Convo on the topic of relationships compared to the trash we’re inundated with on KZbin. I don’t even agree with it all but it’s just so nice to hear a mature and nuanced discussion on this stuff

[@CharlieFinn-cz2om]

Love this man! My wife and I always watch these together and have a great time, thanks Adam!

[@imanisteele1920]

Bonding is hit and miss. If the need isn't healfully met with immediacy in early life, it's missed, and then it no longer exists in the form we’d all hope.

[@standinginthegap7118]

Many men have built up anger against women and it shows in their conversations very very quickly. Additionally, they want to forcefully demand you speak to them and/or meet with them. I can’t tell you how many guys I turn down because of this. I will purposely say no to a guy about something simple in conversation before I ever agree to meet him in person because you would be shocked how many times a man can’t accept no and become angry, name calling and at times threatening.

[@ipercalisse579]

Yes. The reason why I avoid dating, it happened to me as well. They can be very offensive

[@johnw9038]

They can probably tell that you are saying "no" just for the sake of it which is honestly really annoying. I think those guys dodged a bullet.

[@EndoftheBlock7224]

Adam Smith makes some amazing insight here for both men and women. Great guest

[@stevecooper7883]

47:08 this is incredibly true. I remembered learning about this and recalled that fact in my head during and argument with my girlfriend. I switched my approach from solutions to validating her feelings and reassuring her, and I worked incredibly well to not only resolve the situation, but grow closer.

[@MongooseTacticool]

"Are you looking for solutions or do you just want to vent?"

[@aivkara]

Yet another excellent interview by Chris. Thank you! Adam Lane Smith is an excellent voice on the topic

[@noticxever9317]

God bless this man and his family, Thanks a lot to the both of you for these great insights! As a young man they are etremely valuable to me

[@Moanapour2991]

AMAZING content as always Chris!! Every day i just come here waiting for amazing content you make

[@gabay123vip]

I watched many of your 674 shows. This was the best conversation. Any of the 17 truths deserves its own episode.

[@DrTaylorBurrowes]

I’m curious if you happened to catch mine and what your thoughts were? It was so long ago, and it’s always hard to watch these back of yourself. I think my biggest weakness is that I don’t structure my answers well. I need to get better at sticking to talking points. But hopefully there is still value nonetheless.

[@QuixEnd]

I was a lot of these things and my god now I love having those tough conversations. I like all the things i used to fear dreadfully. I didnt have parents really so had to learn it all the hard way, but yeah dealing with that ego crushing sucks but totally worth it

[@champagneisgoodformybrain]

Can't wait for even another episode with Adam. Keep up the great work!

[@borislibaque1558]

Something I found really moving about this episode was the thought of how much a woman will endure before totally giving up on a relationship and its counter how much work a man will pour into trying to be with a woman he loves. It was so deeply moving because these realities aren't the stories we hear, the stats we find, or what we experience. Men who are moving heaven and earth for their partner or would be partners and wonder if she'll ever see him, or appreciate him, and woman feel equally unseen and unheard as day by day their needs go unmet, pretty much until their motivation and energy diminishes. Its truly incredible and beautiful how resilient we are. I wonder how much of this is just a language barrier issue versus genuine conflicts around values. I wish we knew more about the moment a man or woman gives up. Our lack of understanding of that moment is why relationships last way too long. Once either party gives up it really is too late and I'm glad Adam said that. I really like the differences Adam highlighted between the genders and what they need to hear to feel loved, though I found it lacking in highlighting the scope of the commitment. Doing what's neccesary so our partner feels loved isn't something we reserve for times of hardship or special occasions, its important everyday. I think far too many people are wasting resources trying to find love, earn love, trade/barter for love, or trick someone into love, and aren't nearly as dedicated to being loving and lovable. I wish more people went into dating and asked themselves how can I be more lovable, how can I be more loving, but I suppose that's why some people are perpetually unhappy single or taken.

[@evolutionpsico]

Dude. What an amazing set of good advise. Many stuff to implemente right now. Thank you.

[@Melody-st4df]

You Sir are having an incredible impact on the way we think. Do not underestimate the importance of what you do. Thank you especially for interviewing THIS gentleman.

[@ZdeninaB.]

The daycare thing shocked me. In the Czech Republic you can have maternity leave for up to 3 years. The kindergarten starts at the age of 3.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

There's no nationally mandated MATERNITY leave in the States. I made this point on another YT channel and got told that the US Govt shouldn't interfere with how parents bring up their children.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@@rejectionisprotection4448 The USA doesn't support women and does everything to beat them down

[@se232rw]

😢​@@rejectionisprotection4448

[@Just.Mike.]

It sounds like most people in the world are struggling with themselves. Everything we do, think, feel, etc. all comes down to which emotion matches your decision. We, as a human race, need to get back in touch with our emotions. Once we learn to control our difficult emotions, the sooner we can start having difficult conversations. This is just the beginning. I wish everyone reading this well. Edit> I just wanted to add... Once you start learning to understand your difficult emotions, you can then look at your own life and see "what went right/what went wrong". You can be deeply honest with yourself. You can admit your faults, learn from your mistakes. Until you start doing this, expect our (collective) emotional livelihood as a race to keep going down the drain.

[@steveshirley2250]

He's describing these different dating pools that do not overlap. One has an accurate sense of morality. The other invented their own, and a different version with each individual.

[@emotionalignition]

Great episode. I've got a big family and we get together quite regularly, but the distance thing is really a product of our world being much smaller and technology making it easier to stay in touch too. 100 years ago, you couldn't just hop country to country, work from anywhere and easily stay in touch with relatives like we can nowadays.

[@zionarra853]

24:18 This was very a bad faith caricature of what men think. No men don't think getting raped by five guys in an alley is a fantasy that women enjoy. Adam needs to drop the condescension it immediately raises my guard and makes me want to fact check everything he says. 28:30 I can't help but think this is self-selection bias. As a psychotherapist of course it is the people who say they want a committed relationship who are more likely to contact Adam. There's also the age dynamic, I'd wager that many of callers are in their 30s. So I don't think a blanket "both sexes want commitment" paints a full picture. Anecdotally I think guys are generally in no position (at least financially) to be locking down commitment in their 20s and women have a plethora of options so a man's commitment is of low market value (at least at that age bracket).

[@pinyao1]

I agree about the alley analogy. No normal man thinks women want that. And they probably don't want that for themselves either.

[@vladrileynavilys]

Thank you. I just can't shake the impression that this guy is reciting psychology magazine stuff. All he says sound like generalisations and stereotypical views of men / women / relationships. Right from the start: Are there really many women who believe sleeping at first date will make the guy stay? All girls i can think of that i know would probably know it's the contrary, and you gain "value" by pushing the sex further down the road. Weird.

[@shogunofharlem8240]

Every blue-pilled man is basically projecting biases. The Red Pill is precisely about letting go of any and all biases and staring reality in the face. That's why most men (and certainly almost every woman..) do not choose to confront these truths and instead attack and denigrate those who do 🤷‍♂️

[@cedb3360]

holy cow every single answer is a gold nugget! So much new information for me rn. Amazing, thank you!

[@Trapz4Dayz]

Women say they want honesty but they can’t handle it.

[@isolatedbutjacked7036]

At this point men need to collectively move forward in life knowing that women literally don’t understand their own wants and desires, and most of what comes out of their mouth should be ignored. They clearly are not rational beings, why do we insist on talking with them like they are?

[@Ochtone]

This guy is fantastic. He gets it. Would like more of him on the podcast. I’m getting a bit uncomfortable with Chris’ 1D thinking / reactions to comments he doesn’t like. His response to the ‘tell me you don’t have kids without telling me you don’t have kids’ comment was sub optimal. I appreciate its a sore spot for Chris who desperately wants kids. Jumping steps to arrive at the idea that parents are saying they didn’t get to achieve what they wanted because of their kids is doing a bit of mental gymnastics and doing those parents dirty. Having kids is a sacrifice, but one of the best ones. Having kids is THE achievement. Sure that’s going to mean you can’t do x/y/z (if you’re going to be a present parent), but so what! You’ve got wonderful kids instead. To skip acknowledging that, in favour of a Kathy Newman ‘so what you’re saying is’ defence is unfair to those commenters / parents. I also accept I’m free to leave this podcast. For the most part I’m still loving Chris’ style, but this attitude creeping in is beginning to grate.

[@globusdiablo]

Brilliant stuff. You two bring the best out of each other. :)

[@cosmindragan847]

I've known for a while now about the no support for new parents but it's still shocking to hear every time... meanwhile our maternity leave it's 2years with 75% payment and if I go back before term you get higher pay by la, moments like this I feel gratitude

[@carolyna.869]

Husbands should support the family. Kids need to be with their mothers for YEARS not 2 years. And why should other people pick up the slack for others for 2 years? It makes no sense.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@@carolyna.869 Husbands should ? Why? Women have aspirations beyond being wives and mothers

[@NickMart1985]

Dr. Lane admits that moving out of the house is a "scam for two mortgages". We need to have a conversation about how women in the workplace and daycare are an extension of that. Interestingly while the UK has what appears to be much better maternity leave programs, the macro view of the society doesn't seem much better.

[@NathanSmutz]

Men say crying in front of their women once was enough. Women craving a thing doesn’t predict how they’ll handle it.

[@mackenziepotts7564]

Watching 2 intelligent masculine men having a deeply meaningful conversation about human connection is such a full fulfilling experience. ❤😊 Thank you both for being amazing beings.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

The guest is not masculine

[@marklane61]

Lol

[@michaelbergevin748]

I am 22 mins into your podcast, and I have had 3 epiphanies with the information you have shared. I didn't even pick this podcast. You can thank auto play for a new subscriber.

[@CorySee]

Adam should do a video exploring the bookshelf behind him. Looks like some solid finds there.

[@lucasbegue8232]

this is great Chris. Loved it. Adam should be invited more often

[@rosslyntucker7760]

Thanks

[@kaydance7]

Really great episode. Good to hear a balanced conversation with some one who seems to have an equally good understanding of women as of men.

[@jeffreydaniels7519]

I’m 62, I’ve been around. ‘Secure Women”? I maybe met 1 in my life. Basically she was the women I loved the most in my life, she was not easy. She was smart, by and large she was smarter than me and I loved that about her because she was also humble, secure in her own skin and soft spoken. She lifted others when in a social setting. She was not interested in me in that way which made me want her even more.

[@CMarkBFrank-yp5tm]

For sure such great comment I can also relate 👍💯

[@catsteinhilb2880]

This should be required listening, then practicing. Both of you are spot on…each point.

[@pil3driverwaltz164]

Yesss! my favourite guest. I'm ready to learn 😃

[@The_Maze_Is_Not_Meant_For_You]

4:06 Chris, this part about persona/bro-science "rain dance".... Absolute genius. Seriously, this is absolutely brilliant.

[@aesfaith90-14]

Thanks for validating the fact that women just want their partner to listen and say that must suck not solve my problems. I have told my husband this multiple times I just need you to listen but for some reason his male brain cannot comprehend this😅

[@PAX---777]

Too much talking fixes nothing. You show yourself through your actions/behaviors.

[@torkakarshiro5170]

Please don't speak for all women or all men.

[@trolleriffic]

A lot of women want validation rather than any kind of truth or solutions. Guys aren't afraid to tell each other that they're in the wrong or that they need to look at changing their life choices. If all you want to do is flap your gums while someone pats you on the back and affirms your ideas and behaviours no matter what, then it's not doing you any good and it's a waste of the other person's time. Record them saying "That must suck..." and play it on a loop while you talk to the wall - it'll be just as effective.

[@shogunofharlem8240]

Men dont want to listen. We want to solve our problems, maybe solve your problems, and chill.

[@lfay8177]

I had (what i assumed was)a one night stand once 7years ago. In the morning i said " ok well im gonna get going, i had fun maybe ill see ya around" He said " wait, are you busy today? Do you have time for breakfast?" Long story short, we have 2 kids and a house together now... my strategy has always been be honest, be authentic, and be confident. If you wanna have sex, do it. Let the cards fall where they may. If that person doesn't jive with you then it's not meant to be and thats ok! Mating isnt complicated and should feel natural. Never force it. Never manipulate. Nobody should feel shame for not wanting a relationship. Nobody ever said a long term relationship will always follow a sexual encounter but sometimes it does. Enjoy it for what it is. Enjoy them for how much of themselves they want to share with you.

[@ipercalisse579]

40 years old... 11 years single.. 7 years celibate. A woman. Childless. Unmarried. The fact that it happened to you doesn't mean is that simple. And I tell you... I'm not at all envious at the casual sex that you had before meeting him. I'd rather be envious for the man who became your partner, and I underline, that he is one solid exception. And I'm also open to admit that it is because I don't have a partner and, hell, how much I'd like to have one. But as I also had my encounters with men, nothing remotely good happened. The ones I felt more physically, and sexually, were the ones who then told me they had already a partner.... ding dong! Santa's here, not what you imagined, it's called heartbreak! Cope with it! So I was already feeling attachment and care, and they crushed me. Once I understood that sex had that power over me, I stopped doing it... And i know at this point I'm not good enough. I wasn't blessed with being super confident and probably very physically attractive like you are (women who behave like you are the type that can sleep with everybody and have benefits and don't care, because they can find another easily). I was the shy small brunette with glasses, I wasn't supposed to sleep with anybody. I just had to meet. My one. And only. Partner. A friend. A comrade. A normal redneck serious lad. And it didn't happen.

[@tempsoda]

I do love Adam but if my husband asked me how I want him to respond to something instead of just giving a genuine response it would irritate me more 🤨😂 feels like asking someone for a compliment, doesn't mean anything if you have to ask. I'd rather just go to different people for different problems.

[@tzc9309]

Gotta love adam, guy needs more views on his channel/vids he drops a lot of good knowledge

[@justingraff534]

It’s simple: I see Adam, I click 👍🏻

[@taylorlewandowski8433]

Was thinking the same thing

[@DY-cq3qd]

One of the best programmes I've heard all year.

[@libertysprings2244]

Even living in America my whole life, I didn't know that most women go back to work full time within the first two months of baby's birth. During a breastfeeding class I took while pregnant, they asked us who was headed back to work within 8 weeks and the entire room raised their hands but me. Its so sad 😭😭😭. I honestly think its because Walmart and mcdonalds wanted moms to have to do low wage work to qualify for government assistance. That increases the pool of cheap labor and government pays for the daycre of their babies, similar to calves stripped away from the mother cow at birth so we can take all the milk/money from the mother.

[@paulalynnhay]

And people wonder why women don't want to have babies. It's basically impossible logistically, even if it is possible biologically.

[@Braddicusfinch]

One of my favourite guests, keep him coming!!!

[@Leo-mr1qz]

We need more moms AT home, and more fathers IN the home. ❤

[@Bone89]

My 7 yr old daughter is 5 minutes away. I can't even get a phone call. They keep saying fatherless homes is an epidemic, the courts encourage both parents to be involved. Bunch of rubbish. I've decided to give up the fight and pursue adoption or find a surrogate.

[@timsci21]

Adam Lane Smith is THE Man!! Fantastic, I'm recommending you to everyone I Know!

[@mariussavatier4155]

Here in France, sleeping on the first night is quite common, even with partners who will become long-term partners. For women, avoiding sex on the first night can only help maintain the interest of a man who's only there for sex. That's all there is to it.

[@tefilobraga]

I fail to understand your logic. In what sense a man who is only interested in sex would maintain the interest in a woman that denies it on the first date? 😀

[@mariussavatier4155]

@@tefilobraga If I'm very interested in a woman, having sex with her quickly doesn't affect my level of interest. On the other hand, if I'm attracted to a woman but feel she's not up to my long-term standards, my interest disappears as soon as I've slept with her

[@sarahrydwansky9724]

I appreciate this mature and experienced view

[@sleeper9638]

France also has the highest rates of divorce in the whole world and it's illegal for men to ask a paternity test for their own child

[@TheGeneviever]

The part of the conversation that referenced your book Exhausted Wives Bewildered husband... nailed it! She's already given up... She's tired... wow! That book is now on my TBR thank you!

[@DrTaylorBurrowes]

Your talks are always great gentlemen, well done 🎉Adam and I both retired from practicing as psychotherapists and it seems like it was as good a decision for him as it was for me. Although he’s much better at these things than I am ☺️

[@stephendownes6331]

I solved all of my anxiety, difficult conversation problems, had one conversation with my now ex wife - problem solved, albeit with some significant adjustments. Had another conversation with my ex employer - problem solved and new position with another employet with twice the respect and consideration and teice the salary. You have to face the elephant in the room and be willing to put it down compassionately. If they are not with you they are against you, i have never felt more optimistic or satisfied with my life, 2 conversations and my world turned, there was a bit of loss along the way but low cost to benefit ratio.