153. How Dumpers Behave

[@teamzfg6553]

2.5 years later and my ex has just come back! I never thought she would ever come back but your work has been a huge help to me to help me be the best version of myself! Thank you Rory!

[@iliftthingsupandputthemdow4364]

Why do you want her back though? My first ex came back after 7 years!! And i am 100% not attracted to her. Now my recent ex left and honestly after a few months theres no way I'd even consider her

[@younessdiouane3829]

Why the hell would you even consider taking them back! Man up bro you deserve better !

[@robertbarton4956]

Hey c'mon guys if he is happy let him be, I mean well done to you guys for being able to say to your ex nope but this guy he is happy so let's be happy for him hope it goes well dude 👍, but if not remain the best you and dont go back my ex and me split nearly 2 years ago honestly i still have feelings but shes not reached out in a year and iam trying to be the best me it's all any of us can do

[@whisperingwind7730]

Robert Barton I agree, well said! I'm happy for u Richard if this is who u want to share ur time w/. Just be true to u, stay present and listen to ur heart/intuition. It will tell u what u need to know! All the Best to u and ur ex!! 🌬🙏🏻💗☺️🙌🏻✨✌🏻

[@robertbarton4956]

@@melchi777 I agree with that for some reason my ex unlocked me during NC when I went on holiday but 2days later she reblocked me not a happy birthday or merry Christmas she came round again a couple of days after valentine's day to visit her mother and brother and then last week was the first time I'd bumped into her since then and that's when I thought I heard her say that she slept with the guy at work she seemed happy and excited like it was a juicy bit of gossip and then she said 'she dont know why she did it... actually she does know' so I was kinda shook still even tho we been split nearly 2 years but I tried to act like I was ok think I did a top job on that as I was getting ready to go out for the night so I was better than shed ever seen me even while we was together I wont lie part of me is hoping it's one of those ones where your ex getting with someone new actually helps you get them back but I keep all that inside no reaching out I wished her happy birthday when she was round and she smiled and said thanks so that's about the best I get right now but Iam getting a promotion at work and joing and music group and performing in the end of year show which in honesty is something i probably wouldn't of done while i was with my ex so that's physical proof she could see that I've kept improving sounds weird but iam using her as the source to drive me to be my best just too late for our relationship i feel

[@bch5758]

She told me she would love me forever - wanted to grow old together - ‘your’e my soulmate’ .. 4 months later I’m dumped by text message. My belief in love and people’s willingness to work at it are severely shaken.. we were together 4 years.

[@theraven8688]

Same man, same thing happened to me, few weeks after the 4 year anniversary and some lack of communication, and some problems between us, nothing extreme, but she decided it was better to end it with a breakup text. But i believe that someone who doesn't have the courage to tell you something that important face to face, shows you that they are too immature.

[@bch5758]

@@theraven8688 Yes, its very cowardly and immature. I have to keep telling myself that this woman was always going to do this - and she would never have been a good partner.. When she sent the text - I was shocked and replied ‘maybe I’ve had a lucky escape’ I initially regretted typing that - but with hindsight - I think it turned out to be completely valid to say that. Sorry you went through that - best wishes to you.

[@theraven8688]

@@bch5758 We have better things in stored for us in the future man, stay strong👍

[@alimoaz]

I feel you brother. Dumped over a text and she moved on and I haven’t yet

[@bch5758]

@@alimoaz Sorry you experienced this .. its truly horrible..

[@melwill9868]

When we heal eventually...some of us will be looking back at ourselves someday and wonder WHY we spent do much time on one person ..there are billions of folks in the world and we invested so much energy and pain on one individual. Can you make a video on why we do this Rory! Again as always you have helped us become wiser in a lot of other areas in our lives. I personally have learned to LOVE AND VALUE MYSELF ❤️🙏

[@Dana-mt3zw]

i was just thinking this to myself this morning

[@Dreamsareareality]

I so agree with this. I am 40 + days in no contact. I feel better. I will be traveling next week. I don't want to spend my days dazed and confused and hurt. I am grateful I feel stronger. Stay busy every one and invest in yourself. You deserve the very best in life and love. ❤️❤️

[@melwill9868]

@@Dreamsareareality it is a Marathon. But you are NOT alone🙏

[@Dreamsareareality]

@@melwill9868 🙏🏽

[@theshield1613]

I mean yes their are billions of people but the problem is it's really extremely hard to find someone loyal today's world.

[@katcuzzi]

As RuPaul always says: If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? (Can I get an amen up in here?)

[@TheLoveChat]

Amen! Preach!

[@cccspwn]

As much as I would like to agree with you, you can love someone if you don't love yourself. The problem is that its not good to do so. We are our own biggest critics and because of that we can dislike ourselves while loving someone else. A more accurate quote would "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to be able to love somebody else and create a stable loving relationship with yourself and your significant other?"

[@dextro3481]

@@cccspwn man that’s spot on thank you!

[@vivianperdue4329]

Amen!!!

[@umpalumpa-qw8ru]

5 months after the breakup, 5 months in NC. And right now I'm at the point where I don't care, if she comes back. To be honest, I won't take her back. I worked on myself, learned from my mistakes and met a beautiful girl. We just started dating, so let's see where it goes. Thank you for your videos, Rory. They helped a lot.

[@rajatkumarnayak4294]

Did she reached u?

[@umpalumpa-qw8ru]

@@rajatkumarnayak4294 Yeah, a few months back she reached out and asked something rather unimportant. We sent a few texts back and forth and then I stopped answering. Honestly I forgot to answer at some point because I was busy that day. So yeah, she reached out. Don't know if it was just to ask or to test the water. But I'm with a beautiful girl since february and we fit just perfect. So don't worry guys and girls, there's someone for you out there. And most likely, it's not your ex ;)

[@rajatkumarnayak4294]

@@umpalumpa-qw8ru I just hope what u said in your last sentence is true. Coz I was so in love with her. I used to think she is the one for me and we both shared a very good chemistry in bed. It's been months since my breakup and I still think I won't ever meet someone like her.

[@umpalumpa-qw8ru]

@@rajatkumarnayak4294 Let's do the 'the one math' ;). Ask you parents if they think, the other one is 'the one'. Then ask you friends. Most likely they will say 'yes. There are 7.5 billion people in the world. So let's say you ex was the one. How lucky have you been, that you met her and you fell in love? Pretty lucky I would say. But what are the chances, that your parents and all of your friends are that lucky too, that they met 'the one' in their city? Pretty unlikely ;). There are a lot of ones out there, you just have to find another one of them. And yes, you won't meet someone like her. And thats good. Because with her it didn't work out. So why do you wanna meet someone like her? And if you really think, that she was the one: Why are you broken up then, if you didn't do any big fuck ups. I know what you feel, but with time you will realize, that she wasn't the one for you. You will learn from that relationship, you will be happy again and you will find another woman. In that order ;)

[@rajatkumarnayak4294]

@@umpalumpa-qw8ru brother what you said is absolutely correct and is completely logical. But u know although my brain all these things but still my heart doesn't understand. No matter how strong I try remain but still i continue missing my ex and feel like shit all day. I don't know if it is good for me or not, but still I want my ex back in my life. I really don't want any better girl than her, I just want her.

[@jpaulog9809]

What the dumper's feeling? At the end of a 2-year relationship, my girlfriend left me and 2 weeks later had new boyfriend. This is what she felt for me! This kind of people always have an escape plan.

[@biaten]

JPaulo G Then you dodge a garbage human . Chicks like that are douches and you are lucky to have escaped. Feel sorry for her next victim .

[@danielhajj95]

Yup . My ex left me and got with her ex 1 day later .. remember a mans power is leaving them .. I should have done that a long time ago

[@margaritam.9118]

This is disgusting. I am sorry for you! My ex boyfriend broke up with me and even 4 months after a short term relationship I am not ready to date anyone. I don’t understand women like your ex.

[@rushmitaroy6719]

@@margaritam.9118 Even I was in a short term relationship with my ex boyfriend(5 months),i am not ready to date anyone right now.. He got his new girl friend 1 week after our brk up,this is what he felt for me.I am doubting he will ever comeback to me bcz he is a player and had history of monkey branching.

[@Agent-qd4vv]

The same happened to me, was together for 7 years she dumb me and 3 weeks later she's with someone else.

[@carlossosa2546]

She’s back! Thanks love chat

[@saga0796]

Wow, how long did it took?

[@Skywalker20000]

Congratulations now you are dealing with a ran over p*ssy Good luck

[@carlossosa2546]

One month

[@batbro6549]

N S who cares as long as you’ve banged more birds than she has guys it’s all good 😂

[@gigisolo3579]

N S, jealous? 🤣 Congratulations Carlos! Ignore these shit heads.

[@deunasni2751]

Thank you for your sensitive heart, for your respect to human beings , for your wisdom. You cant imagine how much you help us...you are a painkiller for our pain and a reminder of how beautiful is to love yourself in a healthy way...thank so much...

[@Bond10000]

Kalas Joy beautifully said! Rory, you are saving me from committing suicide

[@jimmythuhand]

@danpi, pm me if you feel those thoughts. I would love to talk to you about our journeys. Keep strong my friend.

[@Bond10000]

john peterson thanks! How can I pm you?

[@michaeldanquah7751]

Love your contents. I was in dark place last year when my ex broke up w/ me. I listened to your videos. I took some key advices and worked on myself. Since my break I’ve traveled and met new people. I haven’t dated anyone yet. But I feel so much better than I did a year. I still see my ex often. She’s in one of classes at college. My heart doesn’t even beat when I see her. Like I feel so good idk why lol. I just say hi and go my way.( no mind games whatsoever) like I’m not interested at all. I feel like God had someone better for me and I that love I deserve will find me. Right now I’ve found a new passion and I love it. I’m doing dropshipping now and it takes so much of time that I don’t even have the time to think about my ex. I don’t even think about her at all unless I see her in class or something. I like feel like I’m in a better place right now. And all I want to say to all people going through a bad breakup right now. I’m truly sorry for your hurt. Words can’t even describe how much it hurts to loose someone you love dearly. But there’s always light at the end of the tunnel and you will feel better eventually. Just take it one day at a time. Pray, exercise, find a passion that you love. Go out meet new people. Don’t rushing in meeting new people if until you’re ready. You’re always going to be comparing people you meet with your ex and that’s okay. As time passes that will end and the pain lessen. You will look back one day realize that you’re so much stronger than you think and you can overcome anything. If I’m in a much better place right now so will you! If they left you let them be. Don’t hate them just truly forgive them.

[@MikeJackson690]

"Love will never work if we don't love ourselves first." Phwoar, some words and hit the nail on the head. I hope if I meet someone else I can finally have the chance to spare a partner of self-loathing and self-criticism. If they have a healthy mindset too it would feel so good. Fingers crossed 🤞😌

[@debolimamukhopadhyay9880]

I am in my best phase of my life after break up....and one of the biggest reason of that I have found this channel.... your words inspire me like anything Rory.... thanks a lot ... you helped me to see my life's goal ... to realize what I am and what exactly I want from my life..... thanks a lot...

[@soufiane7arbi122]

You're really a bless in my bad days. When i felt so weak i just listen to you and i felt good again and strong.

[@dalianyui5763]

Actually starting to get annoyed by his behaviour. I don‘t like playing games when feelings are involved. He doesn‘t want me? He can‘t have me. Will find someone even better who won‘t feel insecure about the relationship. I want someone who is 100% sure.

[@juliejuleswiingreen7277]

Agree!

[@HerbalistGG]

well after you know they are into you %100 , you will try to find and think someone who is unclear about you like your ex , same old story

[@gepoyramos9450]

Im here dalian..

[@Swaggad0n]

My ex reached out during no contact, but immediately indirectly bragged about drinking in some dude's house. That was the final nail in the coffin. I don't care if she is unsure etc. They left on their own volition, and they'll suffer the consequences.

[@yunamaluna1078]

Oh Rory I get even more excited about you uploading a new video than a possible mssg from my ex :D few months ago I would have never believed to be in a place to say that I don’t care if he reaches out or not. Your content has helped me so much. I finally see my worth and view this break up as a needed chapter of my growing path. I no longer bound my worth to another person. Thank you so much. Your work and dedication doesn’t go unnoticed.

[@hareshck7202]

hahahahah

[@Nev91280]

I love that quote!! Treat breakups as a rehearsal untill you get to the final show 😲

[@nuharchy]

I have never written a comment on KZbin before but this is worth a first! I just feel the need to tell you how wonderful this video was and how it resonated with me. All of your videos do but I can even hear a little extra care and emotion in your voice in this one. Thank you for doing what you do and helping even us silent types. :)

[@ivZFvi]

After 2 years, Their reasons seemed so “solid” and pushed so much on “I’m not happy in this relationship” and “I don’t want to settle.” It really does make total sense, but these words and the breakup was a surprise to me as even she said “things have been great, but.” It has been so so hard to lose this emotional support system and try and wrap my mind around accepting reasons that she said that puts so much of the failure on me. I feel like a failure for being made not good enough or, not making her happy and meeting all her needs. Tough pills to swallow.

[@debbiemanalastas24]

i wish your doin better now 😊 just hang on there 😊

[@JustMeeeHeHe]

Thank you for these chat. I’ve just broken up with a man I’ve been dating for 3 years because he decided he wanted to go back to school and I support all of that, but then he started growing away from me. He wasn’t trying anymore with me. He has new school friends now and he’s always hanging out with them now. We no longer spend time together as a couple and whenever I bring up that we should spend some time together he gets very defensive and say I don’t appreciate him for everything he’s doing for us, I don’t see how tired he is all the time from school and work. It really hurts me because I’ve always been supportive of him. I’m going to school too and working, but I come home and make sure he has dinner, clothes washed, lunch packed. I’ve done so much to help him but he doesn’t appreciate me anymore. He said he doesn’t have time for me because he’s always busy but he has time to go out for drinks with his new friends. It really hurts me. I broke up with him, but I felt like I was doing him a favor by leaving and I’m the dumpee. He was really good to me, just a little selfish. I do hope that he’ll one day realize what his actions caused us and come back. Because we did have a good relationship before all this.

[@karenzhang1020]

JustMeee gosh I feel so bad for you girl. Stay strong! 💪

[@JustMeeeHeHe]

@@karenzhang1020 thanks!

[@dimicaimano5734]

my ex went on a rampage and has 3 lovers . lolllll …… and never cheated on her , she went nuts NEVER GO BACK TO AN EX IF THEY LEAVE YOU

[@debbiemanalastas24]

yea thats right..

[@anthonycobb3028]

Exactly

[@BanksdaLoneTraveller]

dimi caimano hahahahah he said rampage 😆

[@sell3100]

I agree 100% If they leave once, they'll most likely do it again.

[@Jordantzd]

My ex went on a sex rampage and had 3 sex partners less than 1 month after our breakup. She was getting it 2-3 times a week. Wth dude

[@anamikanandy2278]

As some one who has been dumped and dumped.. i rather be dumped that way less regrets and second guessing. Dumping is way more painful !!

[@Rishav_lfc]

Anamika Nandy me too.. dumped 2 months back 🙄

[@ressler9774]

Faxxx

[@JP-wo7yb]

5 weeks since 3.5 years ended. I don’t care if they come back, I love myself too much.

[@markdupratt9025]

Yea? Then why you watching these videos like the rest of us? Plus you wouldn't be telling everyone you love your self so much. You would just love yourself lol

[@JP-wo7yb]

@@markdupratt9025 wow my comment was 1 year ago. Mark I've since moved on big time. Wish you the best bud.

[@vidarebornlonewolf]

Rory, I listen to several coaches, but you are my favorite! Hands down! I listened to almost every single one of your videos! I need to tell you more about my personal story, because I am so happy to tell you that I OFFICIALY started feeling fully capable and healed enough to retake my life back after 9 months of being broken up with! The irony about this is, 9 months is what a human being normally takes to being born! That's how I have felt these last 9 months! Being reborn! This last Wednesday I woke up feeling different. Kind of with an attitude of saying FUCK IT!! This has gone long enough!! The other irony is that my ex broke up with me the last Tuesday of August 2018. I woke up feeling....different. after the last Tuesday of this month. 9 months later! Last year, things started going down after a dance social the first week of June. The same social is happenning again this year. I decided, I'm going to rewrite history. Replace bad memories at that social with better ones! Not only that! I'm going to plan out great things all that weekend!! I then remembered some of your videos and coach Kenneth's, where you talk about certain emotions popping up during an anniversary. I connected 2 and 2 together and figured it might be my body and soul telling me something. This is the perfect time to heal by recreating new better memories with this event coming up and my 9th month anniversary after I got dumped. Could you please do a video about recreating new memories around anniversary times? Seems this has been the perfect recipe to finally help me heal! Thank you so. much from the bottom of my heart for everything and all you do!

[@TheLoveChat]

Great post, and sure. :)

[@an6357]

Wow, you make so much sense, thank you for clarifying the situation. As being dumped I thought he does not even care about me anymore and has probably already found a replacement for me. I was in permanent no contact for over a year since he broke up with me and just couple of days ago he contaced me in an indirect direct way and I knew how to behave or answer him in an attractive way as I still really want him back in my life. Only the thought of how it all works for the situation helped me to keep zero contact and stop myself from texting him and trying to remind him of me and your audition has helped me to understand it better. Thank you 😊

[@eminek8526]

are you still together ?

[@an6357]

@@eminek8526 we're not together, but I have realized I don't really want or need him anymore. By pure accident he's contacted me after being apart for over three years. He's came over, we've had a conversation, reminisced about the time we were together and it felt great, despite me finally escaping the feeling of loneliness and depression, for one more time I felt the painful loss. Knowing how should I behave towards him I simply stayed positive and neutral. So we've exchanged our stories, caught up on new events and he's offered to give me most of the stuff we've bought together or he's bought after I've chosen. But later on I've discovered he wasn't totally honest with me,witheld some important details and actually demanded quite a lot of money from me,what really put me off him and he's lied to me unnecessary. It only helped me to understand he's not worth my love anymore and my almost three years of grievance after a breakup was a biggest mistake and a waste of time as in that difficult for me time i have met someone who has helped me to escape the depression. I wish I could see right through him before, I'd surely save myself some pain

[@1CAG]

Soothing the storm in my mind. Thank you a trillion times for your work!

[@ProofThatAstrologyIsReal]

Never take somebody who left you back

[@jimmythuhand]

Here’s the reality.. at some point they decided that you weren’t worth it. They gave up on you. Certain situations are different, I am basing this on mine, as someone who put 110% in and was still left for someone else. As great as my relationship was she will not come back. It’s only been 3 months but I know this as fact. How? Because I have moved on. I never understood how many options were out there because I focused on one person. In a relationship I am a very committed individual. I realized that if it was this fast that I moved on after I suffered the horrible pain- it’s going to be easier for them to move on because they never experienced this pain. They may have a slight moment of regret in a depressed time in their life and reach out but the fact of reconciliation is minimal. I have invested in myself and immersed myself back into what I lost in the relationship- nature . Every hike, every drive and every mountain I drive past puts further distance between me and the person I once loved more than anything. It’s a strange realization waking up one day and knowing that even if they wanted to come back I would never allow it. I still love her. Literally took me 33 yrs to find my first love, but I found something stronger in my self worth. I have finally hit that level. I still breakdown sometimes but I always come out of it happier and stronger.

[@johnjosephgapz7470]

Precisely

[@00buck80]

Especially leaving for someone else to have sex with. If they did it once they will do it again. To me it is so selfish and self-serving to do that it is best to move on.

[@patriciaandjudgey1442]

You mean , never back someone who left you

[@ginohydes]

Clicked like before I even watched it.... just knew it would be good and informative... thank you

[@eenpaard3915]

You and DG have helped me to heal so much thank you guys

[@melwill9868]

Agreed!

[@vyhuynh7230]

God this is what I really need now! I'm the dumper in my relationship. Our relationship just ended few days ago since I can see that there's no changes in the future, we just encountered the same argument over and over again, even though i had told him what I really think and how I thought we can do to improve the situation together. But it feels like I was the only one who tried to change. This is suck and it's really hard for me to make that decision. You're right. I do feel a little bit relief as I know that finally I can have enough courage to say those painful words. But soon, I started to question that whether my decision was right, had I try enough to sympathize for him, is it my fault that I cannot see he was changing.... so many questions. I miss him, but I also know that being with him was hurtful for me....

[@Dskizy]

See if he changed. If he did, then he truly cares for you. Don’t give up on someone if you really care.

[@williamgriswold6040]

Wow! You really nailed it homeboy. I'm so glad to hear this one. I dont know if she will ever come back or if I would take her back. I been in no contact since xmas. I have not seen her since October. Thank you for this video! I feel attractive!

[@swamidude2214]

But Im also not certain anymore. I think we could have worked things out, if she had been willing to fight for it. Two months later I wonder if I should even want this. I actually took care of my issues, or at least made a good start. Got so much time since I quit gaming after the breakup. Not that Im not gonna game anymore when I have time, but for now I went cold turkey on it to get my life on track. It could still be a hobby, but I used it to escape reality and responsibilities, which wasnt healthy. So for now its a bad habbit I cut from my life, untill I feel Im strong enough to control it. Which freed up 5 hours a day and my whole saturday and sundag to hit the gym, work on a lot of stuff I procrastinated for months and pick up an old hobby. Now the break up did motivate me and in some way I think she was right to think that I wasnt going to change. At least not if she told me I had to change. Basically it might be what I needed. However on the other hand she did say she didnt love me anymore 2 months before the breakup. I was allready fixing a lot, getting my life on track. And she still left and gave up on me. After the breakup I just went into a higher gear, but I was allready on the right track to begin with. It almost feels as if she panicked when she saw I was changing and taking away al the reasons she had made up to leave me. Her feelings were still not coming back, but all the reasons she gave herself to rationalize it were slowly taken away by me. Her reason was that I was only doing it to please her and she didnt think I really mean it. Like doing more things with her, going out and making time for her. One complaint was that I was just at that stupid pc all the time. So I made time, we enjoyed those days out and she then said, well I feel you only did it because I told you I wanted to spend more time together. So Im still breaking up and not in love with you anymore. Really? First I actually enjoyed spending time with her and realised she was right that I dropped the ball a little there lately. But it wasnt for her, it was for us, I also wanted to do those things, it isnt like I felt miserable the whole time. Anyways she just wanted out and the fact I was changing rather fast and putting in the effort probably scared her off, since she had no feelings and I was tackling her rationalized reasons. So 7 years of relationship and a guy that cares about you enough to work on the issues is something you just walk away from? I deserve better I feel. Im almost sure she will regret it at some point. I feel bad for her, more then for myself. I guess I will be allright. In those two months before the breakup I also brought up things that went wrong on her side. Which wasnt much I took about 85% of the blame I feel, which in hindsight isnt exactly true, she can at least be held responsible for 1/3th. I met her 10 days ago to get some stuff and clearly she hasnt changed a bit. At least I recognized the mistakes and Im becoming a better person from it. She is just feeling pretty good and thinks she doesnt need to change. To be honest I did boost her ego a bit during those 7 years, mostly because she was insecure and had low confidence, so I felt I needed to tell her she was great. Didnt want to be a guy who capitalizes on his girlfriends low confidence to keep her beneath him. Actually I opened her up a little, so she became more social. Encouraged her to start new friendships and builded her confidence to speak up for herself. So now she thinks she's better then me? Well its gonna be a cold shower. Litterally everyone arround me thought that if we would break up it would be me breaking up with her. I just think its sad she made this mistake, to bad she is gonna realize it to late I guess. In some way Im proud she stood up for herself. But why for fucks sake with a break up, there are other ways you know. She immediately goes into the extreme. From being to submissive to running away from the problem instead of facing it. She isnt making this easier on herself.

[@tevinstuart1282]

Damn dude I feel like you talking about my same situation broski, your not the only one... sometimes the people you love the most turn on you when you need them Thor most. Hurt people hurt people bro, it sad but it true

[@HerbalistGG]

bro when you put a girl on pedastal and if you let her more balls than you she will punish you for that . she will nibble you to death . i learned from that hardway . never boost your girl ego . it feels like it is nice thing to do . but female and human nature , you don't need to give validation to no one but yourself everyone needs to reliaze their own value . if you show them "their value is high" then you are not the prize anymore so they will look for someone who does not give a shit about them cuz people needs to feel they got the prize . "they captured the prize so people will have good opinion of them ". dont fall for the nice thing to do . just be more of yourself

[@hwdareu5848]

My ex gf did the same to me after being together for 4 good years. I didn't fall in love with her looks or beauty.. my soul fall in love with her's.. it's been 1month since break up.. wish her the best and I walk away.

[@00buck80]

This is the second time my ex is done this to me I should have let her go a long time ago ain't worth the pain

[@tarad7022]

Same here

[@BanaAlhafez77]

Same .. :(

[@micaelabatac1723]

Same

[@hisoh31]

I got so excited to see that you uploaded!! Thank you!!

[@barbaratabb875]

I will try this!! Pray for me I’ve been dump my anxiousness drove him away!! I just want to love myself if he comes back it doesn’t matter I just want to be free from emotional trauma and drama

[@sara-dx3ix]

Rory this was spot on. I was the dumper as my exe was running hot & cold. We had one issue his low investment & I invested too much so I snapped. I love him but know what my future looked like with him, unfulfilled. It's been 4wks I just reached out I sincerely want him to be happy. There are two sides to every story & sometimes the dumper is doing the kindest thing by letting it go.

[@johndoe5715]

how long were you guys together? and did you tell him how you felt about the situ and try work it out?

[@sara-dx3ix]

@@johndoe5715 Hi, we were together 6 months we talked about the issue and tried it resolve it by planning time together, this worked for 2 wks & he pulled away again. I was tired of missing him & the drama.

[@meroschjaloley6836]

@@sara-dx3ix i can feel u. I was in the same situation 😕😕

[@sara-dx3ix]

@@meroschjaloley6836 ah thank you. That was 3 months ago & I still hope he is doing well, it just takes time. That relationship taught me alot I know what I want and have healthy boundaries. How are you doing?

[@meroschjaloley6836]

@@sara-dx3ix Yeah i guess we need to make this kind of experience to know us better and to grow. You will make it 😊 i wish u all the best! Im ok thanks for asking hihi. I still miss him a lot but i know it wouldnt work this way. Its the second break up so its not as bad as the first one 😂😣

[@btu45nh]

One of your best insight vids you ever done. Thanks Rory.

[@hwdareu5848]

Exactly what you described . I made changes at the time when my ex started asking for space...she sees it but she still broke up with me 2 months ago. Its been about a week ago I stopped chasing and in no contact.

[@hwdareu5848]

I've changed a lot and love where I am now.

[@bricew8448]

I know this video is a few years old but I find it crazy how dumpers are placed on such a pedestal. Why do we give them so much power? The reality is them breaking up with you is them saying indirectly I CAN DO BETTER THAN YOU. Why bother trying to get the dumper back?

[@BurpeesOutbreak77]

The guy that ended things showed up at the gym at a time I go and he usually doesn’t. Although, I’m sure he was there for some other reason. When he saw me, he smiled and waved. I did the same. However we didn’t actually speak to each other, which is fine as I’m over him anyway. 🙂

[@joeb5578]

Several years ago I was in a 4 year relationship that ended terribly. We just weren't right for each other. She moved a couple of hours away and never told me where she lived or her new phone number. Finally about about a year and a half later, a good friend of mine and I happen to spot her in the local Macy's. I couldn't believe my eyes. We hugged and kissed and she gave me her new phone number. I had already got past the hurt and accepted what had happeded and moved on. But she said, I really want you to call me. I was already in another relationship at the time so didn't need any validation. It took me about 2 weeks to get up the nerve to call her. We started dating again, about total of 4 times. And she told me that after she left me, "she always wondered if she made the right deciscion by leaving me". But it didn't work out anyway. I had out grown her and were were quite young. So you see, there really is truth in what Rory says. The truth is there. They hurt too. Believe it. You don't see them when they're by themselves or hear their thougths. It's all true. :) It was never meant to be. We were both in another place and time. Thanks

[@Sarablueunicorn]

I didn't regret dumping my first ex. I couldn't care less and life has been treating me harsh, when you prefer to die than stay with that person....says a lot.

[@steffd8066]

Listen to you everyday before work

[@thelizardking9382]

I'm going through this now. It's awful. We are living together whilst selling the house and she has got a legal seperation from me. Now we are arguing about everything and she hates me. I can't see " no contact" making a difference for me as she seems so determined to end our marriage and sell our family home. Our two kids have grown so no custody battle but still it is a sad situation

[@pappymcallister2492]

Thank you Rory for all your support with these videos

[@whisperingwind7730]

Hey Rory, 👋🏻 I really enjoy ur videos and that u # them. I always get some valuable nugget of wisdom from listening to u. I like ur voice, ur grounded and confident, great combo!! U carry urself well when speaking!! I'm a recent subscriber. U will have to Thank that Awesome Mr. Dating Guy 😉 for referring his "fans" viewers when he went on that short hiatus. He mentioned we should check u out ur channel in his video telling us that he was taking a short break. I'm glad he did!! 😁 When I started listening to u right away I was like "yep, this is a good, quality guy like Mr. Dating Guy, I like him!!! 🤗 Keep up the great work!!! U are so Appreciated~ 🌬🙏🏻💗☺️🙌🏻✨✌🏻

[@gem3530]

Whispering Wind I echo the same I pricked up love chat Rory via DG ;) best advice ever ... 😊🌸

[@Happy-Me.]

They say that when a man dumps a woman his mind was made up months before. As was mine. Never going back. She can stalk and hoover forever. I don't care and definitely learned from the relationship.

[@casiiebunnie]

I'm having so much trouble coping with the pain. I've been watching your videos everyday to make me feel better, but my ex broke up with me a month ago, one of the reasons me being jealous of a girl-friend of his. And when I think I am doing better emotionally, someone comes on without me asking and tells me he's been pretty close to her, and it breaks my heart. I'm hoping this is just the "outside validation" he needs, and then he'll miss me.

[@scottzvidzo5564]

Your stuff is so helpful bro thanks a lot , I have been watching how to get my ex back videos for a while but I hv just convinced myself that I don't need her anymore ! Guys anybody who just got dumped here and it's still painfull just hang in there , be strong you will soon get over it , to you Ladies put two lines under this , Never break the heart of a good man !!!

[@cindyhenderson9777]

Hmmm 🤔. Ladies can do that to other ladies mate! There isn't enough on these sites about gay relationships. Yeah love is love, but through my eyes, it really is so different than heterosexual relationships. Imagine is your view is on the lady, now imagine 2 in a relationship.

[@thetruefusion7874]

Thank u you making me feel better about myself !!! Im not thinking about my ex as much as I did before as the day goes on...

[@theladdersoflife2244]

Exactly what I needed to hear today. Exactly what is happening in my life right now with my ex. After some reaching out and contact lately from both parties, with classic mixed signals involved, I decided today to move on, try and forget about any reconciliation, and go completely back into no contact. Just got back from the gym actually. Rory's coaching call yesterday gave me the clarity I really needed. I needed to hear it from someone who understands. I woke up this morning and made the choice. Book a coaching call it's worth it!!!

[@jeremys.jamesakajdawg1love349]

Thank you for this. I'm going through some of this and it al makes sense and you dont make me feel bad about what I'm going through.

[@debbiemanalastas24]

same here..but youll be okay 😊 i guarantee you that 😊

[@toldbyharlan]

Thank you Rory!!! Best on KZbin

[@richstwart2079]

Had i found your advice and followed earlier...i would have healed alot sooner...i made all the mistakes and paid the price for it....live and learn, things are a little brighter now...thanks Rory for your coaching after the fact..your the best!! Love and peace to you

[@MikeGolf993]

Good vídeo. One of the best. I have seen myself and my ex in your words. Now I can figure out why she doesn't reach out again (first one was dramatic) and it helps to calm down my anxiety of thinking she may have moved on. However, I think that sticking into hope of them getting back, may not be the best idea.

[@TheLoveChat]

I agree! You should never wait.

[@sureshnandinibijarniya100]

Breakups always not the results of dumpees' deeds. Sometimes our partners not clear about their needs. At some point of time they need something, which matches with our personality. But after a certain time period, their requirements change. So to get their requirements fulfill, they leave us. If in future they will have same requirements again, they will reach us, otherwise never. Now it's upon us that we wait for them or move forward. After a breakup of one year I have come to this conclusion that sometimes in our lives we have wrong people, who prefer breakup with us than loving and careing us. They don't want to spend even a single day to understand us and our feelings. May god bless them and give them a heart full of love like us.

[@lilasteeves3693]

He don't need me in his life. He has his ex to crawl back to. And he did that very thing. Now he knows I'm not waiting. He tried to give me a hint to see me. I told him I would not bother with him again. He knows I meant it. I haven't heard from him .

[@FerdinandDGr8]

Lovely shout out to Craig Kenneth. Much respect to you Rory 🧡

[@sarahbonnin140]

Thanks Rory I totally agree with you..we have to love ourselves first before loving someone else but how does it work? how do we do love ourselves? As a kid my parents never encouraged me or told me that I was something..they always said others kids were better and I believe this is why I lack confidence in myself and I hate myself how do we heal this situation

[@xpaperxcutx4588]

Sarah Bonnin week therapy if you need to. I grew up with a neglectful mother and I never learned to deal with attachment so my breakups are especially hard for me.

[@queen_vic3111]

Best feeling knowing you’re better without them! #winning 💯✌🏼

[@2307kenneth]

screw it! I am hitchhiking to Africa

[@theseattlegreen1871]

Why? Whats going on over there besides AIDS?

[@aroojaziz]

Lol 😂 Take me along 🤣

[@userrrreesss7892]

Heyy beautiful soul out there❤ Let me tell you world is beautiful 🌹 Here is my story😊 He dumped me I beg ask him to stay but he didn't I was so helpless at that time I didn't sleep for about a week I contact him for about 3 times asking for chance but he refused so finally I started no contact its almost 1 month of no contact and 2 month of breakup I unfollow him on social media and unfriend him on fb I also ask my friend not to talk about him Believe me it's hard but yet best I am at the point where I didn't want him anymore I realized my value and yeah he hasn't contact me but it feels so peaceful 🤣

[@snehaldsouza8573]

❣

[@myrahouse2368]

What if your X has been fading you out over weeks, then when they are called out on their weird distant behaviour they need time reply ....dump. I have completely left him well alone no contact. It hurts but what else is there now. My plea was pathetic but I was sad he didn’t want to be with me, I never cried I never begged, I spoke about my disappointment. We have never argued or spoken cross to each other. But he has a reputation for not being able to commit and enjoys most the ‘getting to Know’ stage. The warning signs where there they always are lol

[@jorgemonraz8280]

Hey, I really like your videos you explain everything well and only speak the truth👌

[@Bigsky1991]

Super concise, clear message...one of the best out there on the subject. I experienced all this from my ex. .I complicated things with cynical retorts, and a botched at the last minute meet up.... in 2nd NC period as a "reset"...this time I have a clear plan, foolproof. In the meantime? Working on me, and dating...

[@nelsonmoore2999]

Can you do more videos like this I really enjoyed this one and I'm starting to see your message that you want us to get once you love yourself then you can really enjoy a relationship with some one else with become anxious.

[@myrahouse2368]

After no contact they reach out and what to talk, is it guilt? They don’t want to reunite they just wanna check you ok then once you are they leave for good.

[@DeanB23]

My ex is not the most social girl and can be very shy. I've not spoken to her in awhile think it's going in 2 months now. I do share a class with her and the past 2 weeks she has look absolutely miserable, she did keep looking at me at first but now she trys to hide it but still catch her now and again, that's because I've been trying to blank her out and focus on class and having a good time with friends I am happy so maybe it's getting to her. I dont know what's going on she deleted me off all social media randomly after I blanked her out but wont initiate contact, think shes too proud or shy of rejection. I'm not sure what to do.

[@WsRichRollin60s]

Best love advice channel by far!!!!! Just subscribed!

[@sanlaw584]

He didn’t miss me, he moved on straight away with a work colleague.

[@rachellewis9750]

Sounds like a knob same as my ex

[@sanlaw584]

Rachel Lewis Yeah after 20 yrs + two kids.

[@lerandamuqolli7477]

San Law hun at least u dont have hope to cling onto all u gotta do is move on just like all of us but without the feeling of what if. Ur path is clear and also i promise ill be praying for u every time i pray for myself. We got this 💓

[@sanlaw584]

leranda muqolli Thanks it bothers me because we have kids together and he is trying to introduce the woman to them and I am fuming.

[@sanlaw584]

leranda muqolli Thanks it bothers me because we have kids together and he is trying to introduce the woman to them and I am furious.

[@jubairzidan9951]

I watched it over and over , thanks.

[@schuylerwednesday4679]

The more we are in no contact the more he is sure he doesn't want anything to do with me...when he broke up with me he said he would still be there for me...I'm currently going through some health problems and he gave some reassuring words that he would be here for me...offering to send money which I refused...the breakup happened almost three months ago and we still kept in touch...well I've stopped reaching out first after weeks and weeks of being pathetic... Then he reached out to me first. But now he is absent...Haven't heard from him since more than a week ago...

[@debrocks17]

Can you do something about long distance relationship break ups? He dumped me because he said he is unavailable emotionally and in life

[@debrocks17]

@Ed Nicholson lol thanks

[@akshats091]

I think she never gonna come back the way she left and i begged almost a month everyday and i miss her like hell it's Killing me yet i do working on myself but still i wANted to be with her forever soemtimes i feel like i should die

[@JaiAuthenti]

Hey bro I understand. Don’t hurt yourself or anything just keep getting through the days I promise it gets a tiny bit easier everyday

[@akshats091]

@@JaiAuthenti i know brother still

[@Artaxian_Debacle]

Just hit my 2 weeks of NC with my ex. Notice that she’s watching my social media because on Instagram and Snapchat I know when she’s looking at my stories on there. So decided to hide my location and what’s on my story from her I muted her stories and posts so it appears I’m still wanting to be with her but on the inside I really don’t want to. It’s a waiting game and it sucks but you and Dating Guy helped me so much and I already have a date with someone today! Not going to rush anything but just relax and have fun. Thank you keep doing what you’re doing! Update: went on the date it went pretty well girl wants to go on another and so do I. Honestly, I felt kind of bad and still though of my ex on the drive back home...

[@umpalumpa-qw8ru]

How do you hide their stories? I don't wanna unfollow my ex, but I don't wanna see her 'Hey, posted a new story' picture every f... day :D

[@pappymcallister2492]

I fucked up I went 3 months no contact and decided to call then text her yesterday to see if you was okay no response I’m in a better place mentally from when the breakup initially happened but shit I guess I’ll go back no contact for good now

[@stevemellin5806]

Called her after one year .she was cold and I got a Stuped answer. I said you will find someone. Ha so I basically said don't come back just wanted her to know that I am not destroyed. I've moved on . Besides anybody who can walk after 10 years is immature. I don't want that thank you for all your help . stay cool.

[@chiefs0311]

Thank you rory ! I wondered about this

[@michellel245]

This! He left me after 6 yrs because he said he wanted freedom and he felt trapped being with me.. i gone in no contact for almost a week and it kills me. But last month i was constantly bugging him to get back and i got rejected the whole month. This month i went in no contact and controlled my separation anxiety. Im proud of how strong i feel! 🙏🏼 i know he is wondering what has happened to me since i would constantly call him but not anymore!!

[@thelmamurungweni2107]

U go girl Day 1 NC for me

[@michellel245]

Thelma Murungweni its hard as first but after the first week youll get through it! Im week 3 now🙂

[@thelmamurungweni2107]

How is your NC journey... So hard but it's best

[@michellel245]

Thelma Murungweni i feel alot better working on myself. I still havent heard from him it sucks but im not waiting around anymore

[@joycesexton2495]

I,love so much for,ur teachings god,bless you .

[@maui5867]

Mutual breakups, when one moves far away are the best but worst breakups. No contact is necessary but once its broken, its pointless.

[@shuhanak8797]

Perhaps that feeling still lurks on the background.... I am working on my mental wellbeing now Thanks rory for this video and everything. Yes he used indirect direct approach but I didn't respond till today.... I replied today and feeling guilty for having taken that bait. Then again I feel I have the upper hand still..

[@Silent.Viking]

Why would you feel guilty? No contant means no reaching out - in no way should you ignore your ex when THEY reach out.

[@shuhanak8797]

@@Silent.Viking k thanks

[@shuhanak8797]

@@Silent.Viking that reaching out I didn't feel genuine

[@kaitokaito19]

My ex started working at my work place three weeks before he ended things. I only told a close friend and my supervisor at work he decided to end things with me so that they know if I seemed odd or did not want to work with him that was the reason. Fast forward a year later, I found out that he had apparently been telling everyone at work that I dumped him. What a loser...he no longer works with me thank God

[@mazinkhalifa4874]

Hey Rory, can you make a video on how a dumper can get their ex back after dumping their ex and going through these stages you’ve described and then feeling that they’ve made the worst mistake of their lives and growing even deeper in love with their ex? Also if the dumper begged and pleaded and now the ex wants to move on. Thank you

[@mrfarax4944]

What if the dumper is a passive type of person who just likes to give up 🤔🙄

[@travellerkarson]

then they are just immature and naive to date with

[@darylcampbell5952]

My ex girlfriend reached out after a yr and one month of NC. She text 3× I also replied 3× also. She was asking can we talk that was back last month on the 23rd then she went Dark. I haven't text her back since then. I hit the ball back to her now it's her turn..

[@kevinbattles9356]

Good stuff I really wish I could get her back. I think I die a little more everyday!!

[@opheliasfoxx7429]

Gets better. It’s been 4 months for me. I miss him but I’m use to him not being around anymore

[@cjdior2998]

So my ex blocked me from her Snapchat story and posted “someone come over I’m bored🌚‼️” later that day I saw her while walking to the store we didn’t say anything to each other but I think she posted that to get my attention and see if I would freak out or not because she knows people send me her stuff sometimes but I didn’t react at all and everytime I see her she looks so unhappy even tho she posts differently on her stuff

[@josephpeters7076]

CJ Dior man she sounds like a terrible woman. Find you a nice lady like you deserve lol

[@soufiane7arbi122]

in my deep heart i feel that she still loves me and that why she couldn't leave me after the affaire and after all my insecurities. But i always wondering if during the periode that she was acting cold and try to have space that maybe she was seen new ones. i'm really confused. what should i do. Now it'been a 30 days of no contact. and there is onther holiday this week. i hope she reaches out again.

[@paimon3872]

Heyy i just broke up with my gf because she said she scared of relationship now of all the stress and wanted to have it after graduation, do you guys think i should wait for graduation because she really my wife material and she likes me too but scared to like me howwww

[@GO-wr3de]

@@paimon3872 am here too sir,but I lost hope

[@intellifly747]

@@paimon3872 no. It happened to me twice that girl left me and wants me back after studying. It never worked. She will lose respect for you when you take her back and drift away again later

[@geminicowbxtch]

What if they say they don’t love you and don’t want you back?

[@LonelyRider87]

Hey there Rory good evening. I'd love to see a video on what to do (besides no contact, if anything) if you're concerned your dumper has put you into the toxic/crazy category. (I'd also LOVE to hear what you consider or don't consider toxic/crazy)

[@daniellehannahenriquez3646]

Can you make a video about "what if I blocked my ex in all of my social media? Can he/she still come back?"

[@sherebiasmith1411]

Same here...Did he come back??

[@gepoyramos9450]

@@sherebiasmith1411 hi

[@sanlaw584]

My Ex went straight to a work colleague, he hasn’t just left me, he barely bothers with our kids.

[@jetace14]

You are totally AMAZING, thank you

[@THEWalrus271]

I just feel so hopeless

[@blossomdoomchaos4093]

Hey rory I have been watching your videos for a while! My ex broke up with me and then went to a rebound relationship so after the begging and pleading I went to no contact, he contacted me after a month he told me "if you want to meet up let me know" so I said ok, after 2 weeks I reach out to him to tell him we could meet, so he didn't respond or said anything since then. I don't understand ? Im so confused, is this some kind of a test or game? Since that message I went to no contact again.

[@beatricedangelo785]

I felt better and did not check youtube for new videos... shame on me lol I still like your channel so I want to see what videos did I miss!

[@sxxx73]

You are really a great coach.

[@Medehaneyalem27]

Its been a week and very hard😭😭 but I'm doing exactly what you're saying to do

[@Silent.Viking]

Hello dear Rory, what are you crendentials please? I'm heavily considering coaching with you, but I can't really decide. I have also Margaret in mind, but for that I'd need to wait few more days and it's expensive for me as well. Everyday I feel like I'm on the verge between life and death and I feel like I really need help... How long have you been in this area? Also, is it possible to see when you're free to do coaching? Thank you very, very much.

[@TheLoveChat]

Hi there! I have worked professionally (and outside of KZbin) as a Behavioral Analyst (ABA) for several years. I began doing The Love Chat when the work became too much to do both! I have some coaching spots available as early as Monday. Talk soon!

[@nicklspickls]

My ex broke up with me a week ago. I went NC and she just texted me saying she wants to exchange some stuff, and also, her dog, who I became close to, misses me. Hope she was being indirect🤞

[@zacx5188]

Definitely sounds like it

[@QBlond84]

Ex distance relationship in a dating website after 8 months of the break up 🙂

[@williewill1237]

They never work fool