162 - Assland

[@FlaminggMoe]

"I'm happy where I am. In a garage with the truth". - Tim Dillon

[@haideralibd]

1:00:31

[@trentjung8035]

The fans are requesting Tim Dillon to come back to the garage

[@namelesswalaby]

Yes Tim please go back to the garage for the love of god

[@Anita_Backrub]

😂😂😂

[@Juansvids]

@@trentjung8035 yessir. There’s no angst anymore. No more hatred.

[@joeyorlando547]

"Where can I eat late night thats open 24/7??" Tim- "Go to bed"

[@justinreilly1]

Just stumbled onto one of the best rants ever- from plotting presidential assassinations at the knickerbocker to barricading yourself in the bathroom bc your kid is trying to knock down the door to steal your back medication, this is one of those Tim rants that epitomizes America it’s best 🇺🇸

[@elliotjoseph9654]

I will forever listen to Tim Dillon, you are my internet daddy now

[@Alex-sr7xu]

To me, he's a like a guide... a philosopher. Tim is my Socrates.

[@danielluna7648]

Tim Dillon is the inspirational speaker this generation needs, but doesn't deserve.

[@matthewbond375]

Do you keep it juicy?! DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH?!

[@papetoure952]

The Doja Cat bit is one of the funniest things I heard in a while, this is the guy for end of the world comedy

[@KarenTookTheKids364]

I love how the Wix ad led to Tim saying that amateur photographers should be thrown in a lake.

[@yawnhiccup]

😂

[@bradleyjones288]

I would watch Tim Dillon do anything. I would get cable again to watch it. Give the man what he needs to create goddamn it.

[@LukeOfEarl77]

I heard he has a pornhub account if you pay for the premium service

[@Yodalemos]

I think we need to keep him poor and struggling for our content.

[@aculasabacca]

@@Yodalemos I totally agree, but if he ran for president he'd have my vote.

[@aculasabacca]

@@LukeOfEarl77 How dare you defile this thread with such an abhorrent post?

[@bahaeddinelimam3047]

@@aculasabaccahappy with the new episodes?

[@CedricWilliams67]

Doja cat lyric breakdown....flawless. "written by malfunctioning speech to text". Lol

[@mindgames9614]

Time stamp?

[@D34D22]

@@mindgames9614 40:11

[@griffytok7220]

DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH?

[@phoenixrising7047]

Tim has the best ads hands down.

[@blazedandconfused477]

Tim was inspired by Cumtown's ads.

[@trentjung8035]

The only show where the ads are actually entertaining as well LOL

[@moriyokiri3229]

Are these people real doctors? Who gives a fuck

[@genghiskhan4d5]

How does this only have 32k views?!?!? One of the best podcasts of all time

[@Johnnylewis42069]

He really blew up in the past half a year. This episode is my favorite I come back and listen often haha

[@MaTtYMcBlack]

Tim is my Sunday morning church mass.

[@GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders]

Tim is more like my Fox News and I'm one of those old ladies that watches until 1am

[@paulfroelich1024]

You say that, but I have listened to Tim on the way to church for years.

[@tangyplays2661]

The Songland material had me crying. So funny. Thank you!

[@centurionl]

I was driving and almost crashed cuz i couldn't see through my tears

[@Dild0Fagg1ns]

I'm crushing an Adderall during my shift at my restaurant right now. If everyone was as nice as you Tim.

[@UniMatrix_1]

You're an American inspiration 🥔🚬

[@FRM101]

share with the class

[@rosswalkman9652]

We wish you well……. It’s a real knife fight out there.

[@damiens6465]

Life in the big city… But you Have the adderal-and that ain’t nothin. Yes or yes?

[@CraigW34v7b9]

Absolutely fucking brilliant start to finish!! I'm in awe of the brilliance. NOBODY is on point like Tim Dillon.

[@adanbravo4722]

This is my favorite episode ever. I don’t really listen to Tim anymore and I don’t pay for his patreon, but I can come back to this episode any day and laugh my ass off.

[@Deezzznutttzzzx]

It’s 10x more funny now ur missing out

[@amiller8030]

I miss these older episodes, the newer ones are good/ok but his older ones are prophetic and hilarious.

[@trentjung8035]

Hungry artists make great content

[@deezlesteezle]

Tim's definitely not hungry.

[@mikeramaa]

“Kourtney Kardashian...A beagle!”

[@SickTroll]

And a

[@ajaj3196]

Modonna's dad worked in a tank barrel factory well into the 90s. He worked with my neighbor.

[@kyanrinel5898]

17:30 How happy am I that I decided to listen to this random old Podcast from Timmy D and stumbled upon one of the greatest comedic bits in the history of podcasting? Very, that’s how.

[@RJones-es7ur]

Anyone else coming back to these gems after the Ben break-up and the general slide into Hell?

[@MikeOcksmallClips]

The show sucks now. Im glad I gave all the episodes archived from 1 to 160

[@TonsMoreCowbell]

Tim Dillon is the least gay male comic in hollywood

[@lordswaggity1213]

TEST WHY ARE MY COMMENTS NOT GOING THROUGH

[@lordswaggity1213]

THERE!

[@alaskansummertime]

Actually he makes a lot less gay comments than the average Rogan podcast. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I really thought the pants were gonna drop last time the Legion of skanks were on.

[@TonsMoreCowbell]

@@alaskansummertime rogan was exhibit a for my comment. The man drinks more cum than water most days.

[@deb2583]

@@lordswaggity1213 because you are a capslock addict.

[@Sprite_525]

38:05 this has to be a ringtone

[@anonymousconflict2881]

Tim went off in this episode more than usual lol 😂

[@GodsNode]

No one knows funny LIKE CHRISSY TEIGEN.

[@deezlesteezle]

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

[@Kambino]

such an underrated episode

[@jamesstewart9064]

this is the funniest hour and a half anyone will ever experience on the internet

[@TheOhman123]

This is one of the funniest things to come out of the galaxy's snatch.

[@nexttonowhere]

"Fail because you just suck" - Tim Dillon 2019

[@armani4267]

I love his take on Chrissy

[@newdawnfades444]

Tim Dillon saved my sanity

[@maxr1826]

"I don't like Swingers, but I keep going back."

[@Flashh130]

“Bring the funny? Bring a gun.”

[@deezlesteezle]

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

[@tom1574]

I see moving to LA is going well

[@Auz541]

You've earned a new fan!! Keep speaking the truth 😂😂

[@mattdrummond3552]

So funny. You're so right about Soho house too. Got dragged there once in LA and it was overpriced and full of empty narcissists

[@Scott-hh1dg]

Tim this is the only podcast I get excited for during the week ahead of it being released, fucking great!

[@T.I.M.Thirteen]

Somewhere in the multiverse there is a podcast that is co-hosted by Tim Dillon and Eddie Pepitone. Imagine!

[@karlstrasen4758]

Glad I'm not the only one who is bouncing back and forth between those two. Eddie, Devan Costa, and Godfrey are doing really great pods right now IMO. Tim is "a demon from hell" tho

[@monkeytrousers6180]

They could have a shout off rival meltdown battle.

[@mr.hostetter855]

Eddie would just smoke crack and blow him after doing blasts.

[@stephenbeltzner7736]

you are a fantastic comedian. thank you again brother.

[@alucard6919]

"Many of you need to waste your time, that's all you're gonna do. In fact, your entire life, from birth to death, will be just different chunks of how you waste your time. " - Tim Dillon on photography.

[@nighthawk695476]

I recently took up photography as a hobby. I cried laughing this "ad"

[@thairivera]

Opens with “go watch Two Dope Queens” 😂😂😂

[@vinnythornton2930]

" nobody feels the sting of leather when they fuck up!" That statement encapsulates 2021

[@coktoe4487]

Working my way back from the beginning. Another great one.

[@joejohnson2447]

This is peak level podcasting!

[@YeTism]

The doja cat bit had me in tears

[@cadillacmac7099]

I didnt use to watch the videos but now that I cant I want it.

[@Tom-V]

He's right about how entertainment is regressing 😂

[@MewcePewpz]

discovering Tim Dillon has given my life meaning once again! To continue to sit around and wait for humanity to destroy itself pathetically. At least it's still pretty nice though, we still have food and comfort :)

[@filmerd]

Tim Needs to host a show called race to the bottom which is all about the journey to Assland

[@newdawnfades444]

Tim is still funny but dude he was so hilariously resonating when he didn’t have big money

[@MikeOcksmallClips]

Yeah I can’t listen to the new episodes they’re literally not good anymore. I still like Tim but he’s just not funny like he was here

[@whitecandaceowens]

Everyone is funnier when they’re sad and broke

[@PRACTICALVELOCITY]

factssss

[@distinguishedcolleague2345]

Someone better have downloaded this podcast so when the aliens come they can learn what happened to us in our last days

[@colebucket6009]

“ u😊fzzfads zit😊st t da lost. 😂🕉️♎️♊️☪️☪️♌️♌️😂❤❤❤❤❤😊 no mv To vc C K skim ,

[@GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders]

Got u fam

[@ontube781]

You are 100% right. I love America but it's crazy how hard we work yet your neighbor has the same or better than you living off the government.

[@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679]

Not everyone. I got sick at 25 and it took me 10 years to get disabilty and im still fighting them to raise it. My medicine costs 3 to 4 hundred a month. I think people like me with congenital probs should get it. (No matter what actually. You would have to be a millionare to think my m3dical expenses are cheap.) I was too sick to work more than 10 yrs so thsts part of the reason they didnt give me much.

[@A.M.Noon94]

@@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679 I'm currently going through it myself since 2018 only to find out I "filled out the wrong form" so now I'm lawyering up.

[@eevenz]

smashing this like button with no regrets

[@Kyle-xt8ip]

One of my favorites.

[@heatvisuals]

Hahahahhahhahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahhahah SoHo house yessssssssss!!!! Thank you for coming to Los Angeles Tim.

[@AlbertBormant]

Tim is a prophet

[@calwiggums3319]

Tim Dillon is quickly becoming one of my favorite comedians. Brilliant mind. (*Not to blow too much smoke up dudes ass)

[@aculasabacca]

44:30 Whhaatt? get the fuck out of my office. LMAO

[@clv9056]

"The world is burning." Lmao

[@absentstars474]

Tims cartoon arms make me hungry for easter ham

[@annievkim]

You... are hilarious. LOL

[@michaelhallen2808]

Tim is a perfect mixture of Glenn Beck and Mort Downey Jr.

[@PlayNiceFolks]

Glenn Beck.

[@mickeycarney1]

Very very good episode. Crazy how some of these old episodes have so few views. Is it an algorithm thing maybe?

[@ViolinViolaMasterclass]

Omgggg the songs-thaaank you😄at one point in history, music was considered a sacred gift from God 😬😬😬

[@APR944]

B.Y.O. Omelette? What the hell is a BYO omelette? Bind... your... orphan...? Omelette? So they’re selling orphans you get to tie up. Well I’m not FOR THAT! SORRY. Call me a square.

[@housematespodcast6738]

lay the pipe, buy an estate, simple

[@DJPsyfer]

A "STUNNING" Estate.

[@housematespodcast6738]

@@DJPsyfer my mistake fellow pig

[@brencelt]

God bless you

[@RamiroEloy1997]

1:03:08 Does anyone know what episode he's talking about where they talk Corey Feldman's performance???

[@ViridianEmpire]

A full fucking year and these lazy pigs couldnt get you a number.

[@annamarierutz2931]

On patreon its labeled Archives 68 Many Feathered Bird. It's from October in 2017

[@bencurtis69]

Top 3 Tim dillon episode

[@johnortiz9201]

Top 5 episode

[@minakalsi4232]

DO YOU KEEP IT JUICY DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH !

[@CedricWilliams67]

Please tell me Tim Dillon does yelp reviews of swingers.

[@phatbeatsonbadnews3360]

His description of Doja cat’s musical process is laugh out loud brilliant…till I remember I was a hiphop head back in the day and the 90s was so beautiful (musically) and then THIS is what it became☹️ Oh well it ain’t my fault so I’m turning up the volume and poplockin my fat arse to a Pete Rock beat 🍻

[@musicloverkathy]

I know Ben is married, but I want him to marry me if they (heaven forbid) get divorced, I will be dead in a few years and he can have my apartment. It is in Canada and you have to be over 55, but Canada is ok.

[@phatbeatsonbadnews3360]

Bring back the BEATINGS, bring back the BELT….Not feeling the sting of leather 😂😂. He’s brilliant

[@johnnybegood1730]

Tim, mr Tim, mr Tim Dillon, you beutiful fat dillonater you, All the respects from Romania. You a mean sob, a truthfull one, a funny assland mofo/fofo . We all have soo much to learn from this gut take that you do. I feel that ther's not much spin in your work, and that's always refreshing. Keep It up man, You'll need it to crack the bastards. I'm sure you'll find pleasure in it. Ass. Land. Man that's a trademark.

[@Diogenes.of.Sinope]

1:06:05 is dilly's single best bit

[@GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders]

You got some nerve showing your face, Diogenes, your language is highly inappropriate, Thou speakest about which Thou knowest NAUGHT! 🧐😝

[@oscar9680]

"It's one long orgasm, your whole fucking life" lmao true

[@etkarcalexico6526]

the cover art has tim smoking reds and we all know he smokes marbi lights.

[@vinesnicknv]

Get David Ike on!

[@tonypino5415]

That would either be amazing or incredibly awkward.

[@917nyc]

one of my fav episodes lol this nigga was on fire

[@kaliftedup]

Stay in your garage with the truth!

[@PhillDC]

They don’t know who to hate ... 😝

[@tophercortez7786]

I'm telling my kids this was Joe Rogan.

[@MewcePewpz]

38:26 god i love this fucking bit....

[@iTzDarKxStaR]

I wanna watch listen

[@AARONTHERATATTA]

Love ya Timmy you fab queen slay sis.

[@andrewlaco1776]

We need to 'yes, and' our way into a sitcom that is literally the Waltons across the street from Euphoria. Just throw the whole spectrum onto my garbage plate and pass the hot sauce.

[@khaledelsayed5357]

Already watched this yet KZbin doesn’t believe me

[@damenpetrak5884]

At first he used to make me laugh just seeing it comically and then you see how much truth is behind it and realize this could be the most clever man alive

[@timm7681]

What episode is the ray one he’s talking about at 1:03:00

[@AAMarc]

LMAO 45:00

[@morganderifield3295]

Anyone know what episode the corey feldman segment is on?

[@depp0000000000]

So this isbthe first one i see that has the poster on it. Does he talk about it or who the artist is? Wud lov to buy it!

[@monkeydotbizness]

Tim is gonna be working at a Burger King in Paterson NJ with Ray Kump in about 2 weeks.

[@blazedandconfused477]

But where the hell is Waldo? Did he get blasted by a nuke or trampled by the 4 horses of the apocalypse?

[@Wthxmas]

Need the corey feldman skit gotta see it

[@Cogz]

1:01:37 - 1:06:15 part two of songland/bring the funny/eat that lunch