#168

[@birth0fserpents]

moshe looks like he fixed my thunderbird in 1952 for 10 cigarettes and a tin of hair grease

[@angiesunnie8469]

🤣

[@rustysmith540]

Dapper Dan pomade

[@birth0fserpents]

@@rustysmith540 he's a dapper dan man fo sho

[@HH-gv8mx]

Does Moshe dye his hair? I’m guessing yes because of his age and the jet blackness of his head

[@emilydistefano1850]

So...sorry for the long comment but...re: the second caller’s question, the issue of division of labour is not just about the division of chores, i.e. one person does this task, other person does this task. It’s also about: a) dividing/sharing the forethought, the planning, the time management, the communication, and all the other executive skills that go into managing a household and a family unit; b) recognizing that those skills are necessary and valuable and keep things running smoothly; and c) acknowledging that shouldering the responsibility for those skills takes a real mental toll on anyone who is doing more than their fair share, especially when that person feels like their partner takes the labour involved for granted. And saying that the solution is to delegate more is not necessarily super helpful because the act of delegation is also a task in and of itself. I think all of this is why Moshe’s advice for the wives in the conversation to stop thinking about chores every now and then just isn’t landing. Sure, laundry does not need to be done right away. But laundry isn’t about laundry. It’s about making sure you have enough towels, or making sure your kids have clean uniforms to wear to school or soccer practice, or making sure your favourite outfit is ready for date night. The world isn’t going to end if the dishes don’t get washed in the evening, but your morning will be more stressful and you may develop an ant infestation. In the caller’s case, I guess fathers don’t absolutely have to be caregivers for their children, or buy them clothes, but…someone has to? So basically, if you want a person to feel secure enough in your family system to stop worrying about chores, then you need to be willing to try to at least understand and, ideally, share the mental load attached to those chores, in addition to, you know, doing your share of the chores. And as a person who lives in her own personal hurricane most of the time, I fully understand that everyone has their own way of conceptualizing mess/chores and their own personal preference for organizing their lives. But if partners don’t recognize each other’s needs and wants in this arena, or try to understand the reasons/value systems that underpin those needs and wants, or respect all the forms of labour that go into trying to run a home in a way that fulfills those needs and wants, then conflict and resentment both seem inevitable.

[@alexandraqueen2156]

Exactly!!! I think we are approaching a time when men will have to own up to the lack of domestic work equality and change. We are in that time. That's why they get defensive. Keep pushing them, women. Do not raise children in a household where they see the woman doing the majority of domestic work (without a fight). It's not OK and it has to change.

[@shaihulud2977]

Thank for writing this, it really really expressed what I’ve been feeling

[@jaymack-p3n]

Natasha's laugh. The best. And Moshe is so quick.

[@HH-gv8mx]

Does Moshe dye his here? I’m guessing yes because of his age and the jet blackness of his head

[@ashleyromero5302]

On the last question, why do women always have to be the taskmaster/nag? Can't husbands just see what needs to get done and help? Why is that so hard??

[@Pandi-Fackler]

Exactly! And I think a lot of the times it’s not that they don’t notice, they just pretend not to so they won’t have to do it. And the cycle continues

[@Pandi-Fackler]

@Linda Loveless Couldn’t have said it better myself

[@Naejakire3]

I love both of you but watching just to see what Natasha is wearing is the icing on the cake. She is exactly right that this style will carry her to her 80s

[@Naejakire3]

And I know I'm saying this when she's just wearing a robe and shower cap but she still somehow looks cool

[@bridgidigital]

This episode is such a testament to how powerful semantics can be when communicating thoughts & needs in relationships. Positive and/or negative connotations associated with our choice of words can determine what kind of outcome one is intending & can also work as a tool in revealing what the sincere motivations are from the onset of any discussion. Positive reinforcement always results as a healthier indicator of what someone is attempting to achieve whereas using negative such as won't, can't, aren't always read as criticism with an aim for conflict. If you're sure an argument will be the end result of a conversation, all you're left with as an alternative is to change your approach or it borders as emotional sadism. Words matter.

[@Ana_Lev]

I felt sorry for third caller. This is a real problem in relationships.... having a child and a partner who doesn’t help with their child is difficult. What I think Scout should do is swap responsibility. Her partner will get first hand experience of how mentally and physically draining it can be. Don’t always swap responsibilities but sometimes

[@valhalla1240]

this is a problem in _hetero_ relationships!

[@scoutmorris7303]

I'm gonna pitch this to him LOL

[@kalianayoga9808]

I just searched your youtube to specifically subscribe because of your instagram snippets of this podcast. You both are so addicting to watch and at times relatable. but also SO un-relatable YET interesting....I just can't stop watching. ❤👍

[@_baert]

Package girl could also be like hey, here's a pre-paid UPS/DHL/Fedex label for my box. I will schedule a pickup at your parents place, give me a date and time and literally all you have to do is have it ready outside for pickup. If he can't even do that then he's shady and covering up for the fact that he doesn't have her stuff anymore or wants to keep it for himself.

[@carolyntalbot947]

Brilliant. I have to wonder if he thinks this is a ruse--that this "junk" is just her reason to contact him. She needs to make this easy for him and foot whatever expense is involved upfront. That makes it clear that she really is only after her crate of old deodorant and not trying to reestablish a connection.

[@angiesunnie8469]

I absolutely love you both and the labor caller solutions. 💜💜💜💜

[@nebyenrub]

Lol the look she gave him after the bad personality “joke” during the zocdoc ad

[@mjoyyourself]

I actually felt bad for Tash during that! Like damn, I felt that one

[@tearindawn]

Is there producer also secretly their therapist and this podcast is one big couples therapy experiment? Because a lot of calls are pointedly to open direct discussion with audience feedback into their own marital troubles. And I freaking love it. Unfortunately my relationship is flipped, I’m the messy wife and my husband is the neat freak, we have division of labor arguments all the time. I don’t see mess as he does so my advice as the messy one to him is to utilize his strength in giving out directives and my enjoyment of spending time with him so he says “hey babe can you help unload the dishes while I wipe off the counters?” Or “can you help fold the laundry after I wash them?” Also, not everyone can afford it but like a once a month housekeeper to do some of the deep cleaning might make lives a bit easier. I’m also practicing mindfulness, when I take something out to put it back in it’s place.

[@greefhavoc3593]

Be the CEO of your life is amazing advice x

[@manguito598]

When Scout whispered "every time" 47:48 I felt that in my soul

[@spriteinthezone]

Mosh and Natash, you both look great! 😎👍

[@CupofCloud]

i love both techno and indie shoegaze music lol

[@Stalamantes]

Same those are my top two lol half Moshe half Natasha

[@lmpnchi9416]

OMG the Dylan show roasting has me rolling 🤣🤣🤣

[@mjoyyourself]

Moshe this haircut is it! This haircut is age appropriate and it looks better! Also Moshe is 💯💯💯 about women/moms/etc creating and making time for themselves and there is opportunity in taking a page out of the other partners book, who can more easily do it! The problem is if your o her partner doesn’t encourage or support you in taking that time. Moshe totally encourages Tash to do this, now it’s on Tash to take him up on that for herself! But there are definitely dudes out here that so NOT support like that and THAT needs to be addressed as well, so yeah folks be real about which one you are in the relationship and make the changes you gotta make

[@infinite_pest]

moshe looking like a mean high school boy on leave it to beaver

[@themorticians]

Natasha in her Little Edie era. Respect.

[@nicholkid]

Moshe with the MASH Radar cosplay

[@allthatjazzspaz95]

“Nutty professor, genius person “…. A raging narcissist

[@Slaveternal]

Moshe’s point is dead on. Women tend to deny themselves a break and then project frustration at the male partner.

[@brennam954]

Women "deny" themselves the break because they know shit won't get picked up by the men. The world won't immediately end if the dishes don't get done. But they sit there, taking up room in the sink, and you're unable to cook or eat anything further because of the used dishes, and that ultimately affects everyone. And one partner (usually the woman) is the only one who cleans them regularly (and they have reminded the other partner constantly to take care of them), they either don't get done and cause more stress and work later (for the woman), or that same partner has to constantly do them because the other partner won't pick up their slack. Women shouldn't have to be in the position of constantly "nagging" men for help. For example, in Moshe's case, he says he does handyman work around the house; but is that literally an everday thing, like cleaning/laundry/child rearing is (things that tend to fall more to women)? I don't know their full arrangement, but I've just hard versions of this conversation so many times. While I think women need to demand their own time, that can only comfortably happen when men choose to support their partner in a proper way. 70% of all divorces is the country are INITIATED by women; and there is a reason for that. They feel unsupported in their marriages.

[@Slaveternal]

@@brennam954 (At risk of sounding like a Male Rights Activist or something) Post divorce, those guys probably keep half as clean a place and spend that time on more enriching, joy filled pursuits. Many people have zero interests or hobbies, and unfortunately cleaning, order and an endless list of made up (non)responsibilities fills the void. Then projects a perceived lack of participation on to the partner. We've all seen it. If you're getting divorced over cleaning arguments the relationship isn't based on much. Where I think many people find themselves because many relationships are driven primarily by a sense of dependency /discomfort being alone.

[@jag5014]

First Chelsea and Jo Koy announce their separation and now Moshe and Natasha are fighting on their podcast, even airing their cobweb ridden dirty laundry or bedding or whatever. I guess I can stop loitering at comedy clubs hoping to meet my soulmate. 😢💔

[@ersimn]

They fight often, it's normal

[@jag5014]

@@ersimn I wish I had the ability to view things through rose tinted glasses like you but you know things have gotten tense behind the scenes when it spills into a whole segment of their podcast with both seeking validation from a random caller who was like "Later, gaters. I've got my own probs" I just hope a home wrecking Burning Man nudist doesn't come between them.

[@Daisy_Sparkles]

This is the first decent haircut he’s had in a long time, & he’s complaining 😂😂😂 his sense of fashion carries the cool and bohemian factors. What does it hurt to add a little panache? I know everyone rags on Moshe for s&g, and I was tempted, but I think this was a genuinely good haircut. It’s a crime to forsake such a good hairline. Keep the cut.

[@sheefree]

Agree the cut looks great 💕

[@clevermissfox]

S&G?

[@Daisy_Sparkles]

@@clevermissfox shits and giggles

[@christine1646]

Poor Moshe!!! lollll LOVE the haircut!

[@macysfoxyart]

Natasha is a icon

[@natduarte8]

As a woman I really liked Moshe's perspective. We do tend to not recognize what our partner does and finger pointing or shaming is not helpfull

[@rachels1957]

The first call makes no sense. Why not name the country? She's showing her face anyway. Who cares if he doesn't want someone to contact his parents? His constant refusal and stalling techniques are a form of control and he has lost the right to be trusted to get this done on his own. No need to apologize to him, no need to bend over for him, be direct and firm and take no shit. Very ridiculous situation.

[@_baert]

Yeah keeping the country a secret would have no impact on the story and trying to keep it secret was just a distraction. Even if we knew the country it would still only narrow down the guy to one of millions of men.

[@ravenswood118]

AND she thinks poland isn't a democracy. hysterical in so many ways.

[@DanielHettenbach1]

Oh fuck! You two are so hilarious!

[@ninapallman1501]

You both look fabulous

[@jamesmarie]

Moshe should have the party in the back haircut.

[@tearindawn]

Mom and Dad are fighting

[@ckyleu]

Bob "Ol' Sourpuss" Dylan

[@Ci-D3]

Thank you!

[@toddt6542]

OMG...when will they just get rid of the Endless Honeymoon title and call this podcast "Will they / Won't they"...you can insert anything into that trope and it fits. It's just like watching a collision about to happen and you can't turn your head away...Keep it up...Love the podcast!

[@_baert]

I usually find myself agreeing with Natasha on things, but in this episode I think maybe the sh!t water got to her because she had some pretty old-timey reductive stereotypical opinion on gender roles and tasks.

[@_baert]

And don't delete this comment Natasha!! ;p

[@alexandraqueen2156]

Except it's statistically true. And 1 of the top reasons couples divorce today ----uneven division of domestic work.

[@_baert]

@@alexandraqueen2156 I believe that and never said it wasn't true. Just that Natasha is basically saying men do the hard labor and women do all the child rearing and cleaning and just have to deal with it.

[@SailorGreenTea]

4:03, mercurial, like, extensive medical knowledge, keen commerce skills, quick runner, and an excellent communicator?

[@janinekloet3166]

Moshe would you ever swap to black jeans? Beige pants? 🧐☹️ But the hair is great. I think it’s the pants. You have to have one fault. And Natasha is always gorgeous. Love the pod.

[@lmpnchi9416]

Agree,.that color combo hurts me

[@scosta1191]

I don’t think I can even watch this podcast anymore after the content from the last call…that was shocking. Natasha, I just want you to know that men ~are~ 100% capable of not manipulating you with weaponized incompetence, and of taking care of their own children and responsibilities and actually ~wanting~ to, and you deserve so much better. Moshe, I seriously lost all respect for you, which truly was a lot.

[@SailorGreenTea]

2:07, oh my gosh

[@SailorGreenTea]

2:20, totally.

[@Naejakire3]

Nudity depends on the environment. Burning man, it won't feel sexual and everyone gets used to it. Portlands naked bike ride? Yeah, everyone is naked so it's not weird. At first, yeah.. It feels weird but you adapt. But being naked around everyone who is clothed? That's weird. Everyone needs to be on board.

[@superlissy90]

oof love you guys so much but the chores thing got me. How is it you want to approach it as an equal partnership But you still expect to be told what to do to 'help'. It's not helping: it's your life.

[@maggiewahl5076]

Moshe you look like Eddie Munster but congratulations on your widows peak which shows pure beauty, Natasha you are my spirit animal. Just to make myself clear, no show you are still handsome but I think you made a mistake

[@lorrainebettencourt8009]

he does..eddie

[@Melon-Lord]

Thank god moshe is here because Natasha’s advice is always like “men suck”

[@TheRedScareIsAlive]

Is she wrong?

[@Melon-Lord]

@@TheRedScareIsAlive yes and moshe proves her wrong every time she does it including this episode.

[@ryanr8645]

'if its yellow let it mellow' sounds like someones never cleaned a toilet b4. that stains your toilet and makes your bathroom stink.

[@lmpnchi9416]

It means for a few hours at a time, not days

[@ryanr8645]

@@lmpnchi9416 if ur doing it for a few hours every day. ur toilet is gonna be filled w pee more often than not... like a few hours everyday = multiple days in like a week

[@Barbie_Esther]

Genesis 2:25 KJV: And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. 👍

[@backupinit]

Until the talking snake got involved

[@Barbie_Esther]

@@backupinit GENESIS 3.7 KJV: And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. 👍

[@SailorGreenTea]

27:35, go there and grab it

[@Ganjasmith]

Daiylon and Fada Cleff

[@davidadams2395]

I’m thinking _got my shit girl’s_ ex is addressed as Monsieur de Dickhead.

[@SailorGreenTea]

0:35, ohhhhhh, that is what is up.

[@messengerofgoodnews]

Oh my god!!!!! Thank God one other person in the world has the same feelings that I do. I saw him in concert when I was in college so like I don't know 2004 or 2005 and all I knew were all the old Bob Dylan songs that I loved and the concert was mostly new s*** that was terrible I don't even think he was facing the audience I feel like he was playing on some weird little keyboard with his back to us and he never even addressed us or his band until toward the end of the show which I didn't even make it to because I was so disappointed and I was dragged out of my sick bed to go see this stupid f****** show and I didn't hear any song that I recognized and he is just full of himself in his old age but he's too senile to actually put on something that makes any sense to anyone

[@rvbball1]

I'm a man and I don't agree with Moshe about the chores

[@Naejakire3]

Does moshe wear eyeliner or are his lashes really that thick cause..

[@solsallee6638]

where my kwean me people at?

[@SailorGreenTea]

2:57, 😆

[@SailorGreenTea]

3:02, ya, when they want a dude.

[@SailorGreenTea]

19:18, 😆

[@edenferriss768]

Bob Dylan is the worst.

[@conormcnagger4703]

Bob Dylan is the worst singer songwriter I’ve ever heard in my life

[@figgettit]

poland is a democracy. mellicans

[@ravenswood118]

thank you. that dumb comment made me so irrationally angry cause it was so dumb lol

[@AlwaysRobert]

I think Natasha is projecting her emotions and frustrations with Moshe onto "all men". As podcast hosts who are intent on giving advice to people, maybe you should avoid making blanket statements and understand that life is much more nuanced. Just a thought.

[@ravenswood118]

bobby, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. the men who are always shouting "not all men"....not one of them is a good man. you just outed yourself as an arsehole who can't even listen to the plight of women, who are forced to live in a patriarchy, without NOTALLMEN-ing them and condescending to them about nUaNce. grow the actual phuck up, loser.

[@kylec1590]

God damn Tash. As a stay at home dad who does all the cooking and cleaning, laundry, grows a massive garden of food, and takes care of all the kids and pets, how can you be so close minded? It’s sad to see the world the way it is with our shit Supreme Court and turn on one of my favorite pods to see the female host pretty much acting like a bigot. It’s like every other episode you’re just saying men can’t do anything and it’s starting to push me away from this show.

[@ari1638]

they’re jokes man chill

[@kylec1590]

@@ari1638 if they’re jokes it’s pretty played out at this point. Happens a little too often to just brush it off. And I mean I feel like I am being pretty chill. Just made a little comment, not inciting anything or being too crazy, just sharing my thoughts.

[@lt7592]

You also got to know that you are the exception, you're the gold standard of what a man should be, but that's just not how most men are

[@lt7592]

And there's countless literature backed by research about domestic work being the invisible labor of women

[@kylec1590]

@@lt7592 of course I understand that, I’m literally walking a mile in those shoes. But you can’t just blanket statement say all men are the equivalent to a trained chimpanzee. I know plenty of great dads and men who all pull their own weight around the house. I was raised by a family full of them and knew plenty outside of that. We don’t live in a 90’s sitcom where men are just all bumbling idiots. I can’t believe I have to take a shitty redpill-esque stance on this

[@melissab.2750]

I kinda want Mosher to leave Natasha so she can get a taste of all the meaningless problems she creates for herself lol. He’s a great dude. Present father. Understanding and communicative, also willing to change. She’s just a spoiled unfulfilled grouch lol.

[@ravenswood118]

okay Melissa, hope you get picked

[@Melon-Lord]

A lot of women think taking a nap with a child is labor then get mad things aren’t equal

[@brennam954]

Sure thing bud

[@ravenswood118]

a lot of women refusing to sleep with you me thinks

[@Melon-Lord]

@@ravenswood118 do you think this is English?

[@ravenswood118]

@@Melon-Lord Oh, I see. You're a boomer.

[@Melon-Lord]

@@ravenswood118 because I know how to speak coherently? Lololol no, it’s because I’m smarter than you.

[@Ladybird.21]

If anyone's interested, the book the caller was talking about, Fair Play, is also a documentary that Hello Sunshine has put out. www.fairplaylife.com/