#169

This week, Natasha presents Moshe with a game-changing Burning Man ultimatum. They give advice to one caller who’s insecure about his girlfriend’s drinking trips with her four male bosses, and another whose boyfriend vapes in their bed.
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[@allthatjazzspaz95]

I love how confidently Moshe gives bad advice lol. First call was waaaay off. I think that guys concern was totally justified, not just selfishly, but also for his girlfriends safety.

[@sarahthomson8183]

right?!

[@allisons4137]

Tragically, any woman who gets into a work situation like the one described in the first call knows that there’s risks attached. All he can do is trust her judgement and gut on whether it’s safe or wise for her to continue working there.

[@LeaveAhNah]

Yup he has to trust her, I’ve had similar situations in the film industry

[@kylec1590]

I get all this but it’s not necessarily her he needs to be trusting when she’s blackout drunk

[@brooke9297]

Yeah, it's unfortunately a matter of him trusting her and her trying to figure out if it's worth it... because Natasha's suggestion of talking to them about it ain't gonna work. It neeeever works. I've been a receptionist for many of my 20-something years, and that was very much a part of the workplace and when it's you at the bottom and everyone else at the top, they're not gonna be the ones to change or to leave. She can definitely just not drink so much. That's the easiest solution.

[@_baert]

I think caller #1 is genuinely concerned, including citing power dynamics and huge behaviour changes but Moshe is only seeing it as the guy is threatened and untrustworthy of his gf. Seems like dangerous thinking to say that because nothing has happened YET, that there isn't a ramping up of behaviours from the bosses.

[@carolyntalbot947]

I found it extremely alarming, speaking from years of experience--some of which might not have occurred if I wasn't naive at the time myself.

[@brennam954]

Exactly. This really didn't come across as paternalizing the girlfriend to me. Because we know how often women get sexually harassed, assaulted, including by their bosses, and there is an incredible power dynamic here. I think the boyfriend has legitimate concerns and he needs to talk with his girlfriend about his discomfort with how SHE is being treated by her coworkers (bosses). His fear I don't think comes from a distrust in her but a distrust in these men who are really trying to blur the personal and professional, particularly with trying to get a young woman drunk while out at a hotel. I appreciate Moshe trying to lend agency to this guy's girlfriend, but I think there were enough red flags to be concerned enough to warrant a deeper conversation with the girlfriend at least. We know a too many guys see women as just sex objects, and a high number of them do not care about a women's consent when she's drunk or passed out. I would not trust these dudes either.

[@JDMimeTHEFIRST]

I have more of a problem with the guys not hiring a woman their own age with more experience. I'm just looking at how weird that it from a job perspective. So I think that could indicate they either want to underpay her or harass her and think they'd get away with doing that to a younger hire. I think if they were "so great", they could have hired a 40 something woman for this position. I'm not worried about him trusting his girlfriend. I think it's weird they hired someone so much younger, and only one woman. Otherwise, I would agree with Moshe. I always find it sexist when men only hire women under 30.

[@mjoyyourself]

This is a great point and I agree with you and Natasha

[@carolyntalbot947]

It is unprofessional to say the _least_ pressuring your employee to drink, especially in a situation where she is vulnerable (like an out of town overnight trip.) Alarm bells SHOULD be going off and Moshe knows it. His whole defense of the "bros" was about Burning Man.

[@johnnydeleon8210]

@@carolyntalbot947 yeah he was being pretty insufferable with his take

[@valhalla1240]

Yup, they are so trying to harrass her - or worse. I got tense listening to that story.

[@Devilishlybenevolent]

Are you kidding me? All businesses want to hire fresh grads who they can pay less. Do you expect them to not hire anyone til a 40 year old comes along? 🤣

[@vanessawhitneypro]

About "The Bros"... Natasha is right... Moshe is mostly wrong... I appreciate that Moshe respects a woman's right to be who she is and stand up for herself... But, as Natasha suggested, boundaries are absolutely necessary... And, NOTHING GOOD comes from business associates in each others' hotel rooms... Just saying... LOVE YOUR SHOW, guys!

[@carolyntalbot947]

I am genuinely worried about that situation, red flags all OVER the place.

[@johnnydeleon8210]

A six day work retreat with 4 men and basically drinking every night, bro I don't care how secure and trust worthy you are that is fucked situation, especially for such an new relationship

[@ravenbossification]

@@carolyntalbot947 genuinely concerned for the woman… and moshe thinks her bf is just being insecure? It’s disgusting.

[@HH-gv8mx]

@@ravenbossification Moshe also wants to fuck another woman. I love their podcast. I love their dynamic. But I don’t love him as a husband for her.

[@KevinMTV]

Moshe was addicted to cigarettes, then vaping, and now he’s a full time professional DJ!

[@TheRedScareIsAlive]

Now he's just addicted to jams

[@KevinMTV]

@@TheRedScareIsAlive Addicted to those sweet sweet low end vibrations

[@angiesunnie8469]

I say to the guy with the girl with the bro job....I am concerned. My intuition is they are not concerned with her integrity/ life. But it has to be her realization not yours.

[@auraholyultimababybaby9367]

I am concerned 😆 Aw man...

[@ersimn]

It's not only an insecurity issue like Moshe said. Natasha is absolutely right, you can't trust these men even if you trust the woman. Hopefully she'll be able to create some boundaries.

[@lanaiba]

It just occurred to me that Moshe and Natasha have been having their low key Amber Johnny trial for the past few months 😆

[@noramuldowney2721]

That woman that works with the bros should quit her job sounds like a creepy situation to be in. 🤦🤦🤦🤦

[@ashleyromero5302]

Idk I can’t imagine a world of 5 bros saying they want to bring on a 23 yo attractive woman to be “diverse” and “progressive” and to break up the brodom. It’s not really their modus operandi. Why not bring on a woman with their experience and age? We know why

[@brennam954]

And this is exactly why women sometimes are naive to the degree that men (especially in positions of power) can be predatory: because we're told so often that this is "normal" and not a big deal, and we don't want to be a "drag" or "overthinking". This woman might be feeling red flags, or might not, but she needs to be aware of what could happen based on these guys' behaviors (who are her bosses) and try to establish firm boundaries. Her boyfriend did not in any way seem overbearing, nor did he seem to lack trust in her. He lacks trust in these guys and I think is concerned that she's maybe not seeing what he sees and doing things she normally wouldn't (like drinking to excess while out at a hotel with these creepy older dudes). And to your point, if these middle aged dudes are still acting like frat bros at work, and outside of work with their younger employee, they don't give a shit about being "progressive" or making the work culture more equitable, modern, or respectable. They just want a hot younger woman's presence that they can take advantage of.

[@solsallee6638]

"i dunno she's drinking too much w Bret Kreischer" got me good

[@natalielewis3720]

I am usually in love with what Natasha wears but I am obsessed today! She looks so cute

[@JDMimeTHEFIRST]

I also like Moshe's Fluevogs (I think they are)

[@carolyntalbot947]

She has a signature style I really like.

[@LeaveAhNah]

Her makeup is 🤌🏼

[@kellyguevara44]

Natasha’s Hermès scarf is on point! And Moshe is styling with the new glasses

[@janinekloet3166]

I think Natasha was right about the first caller. That was another really interesting episode. What a fantastic couple you guys are. ✅✅

[@HH-gv8mx]

I love their podcast. And I love Moshe and Natasha’s banter and dynamic on the show. It’s to fuck another woman. I do not love Moshe as a husband for Natasha. I feel like she could do way better and deserves better.

[@janinekloet3166]

@@HH-gv8mx Oh, sorry but I can’t agree there. I think Moshe is a top husband, he’s thoughtful and kind and smart. I feel like they are great for each other. Moshe is a rare “good man” with filthy jokes, sure!

[@HH-gv8mx]

@@janinekloet3166 but he’s claimed countless times that he wants to open up the marriage And she clearly does not.

[@1ashes]

I like the new set up. the sunlight brings in a positive vibe

[@beautifurpanda]

I agree that those two have a communication problem. He isn't communicating his insecurities with her so they can address it together, and she has no idea that what she's doing is making him uncomfortable. They'll have a talk and maybe a little fight and they'll get through it and be stronger. OR THEY WON'T

[@mimijee70]

About that first caller… I’m normally Team Moshe but I think in an attempt to be neutral/not a ‘bigot’/non-judgmental he’s giving advice that is very naive & could potentially lead to that woman being in an unsafe situation. Yes, women can be trusted, yes women should/can have autonomy in the workplace but this world is not perfect & unfortunately women who are just trying to make it in life can become targets-ESPECIALLY in the kind of environment her coworkers/bosses are creating. In no world would I ever advise myself or any of my girlfriends to stay in a hotel with 4 dudes while all parties are drunk off their heads. It’s less about being judgmental & more about keeping yourself safe.

[@mimijee70]

His philosophy is great in theory. Unfortunately the world operates outside of the ideal philosophy.

[@brennam954]

Moshe is usually super aware and informed of women's experiences and quite a feminist in a lot of regards; I generally love his takes. I was really surprised he was so naive in this situation; didn't seem quite like Moshe. In other situations, where guys are jealous of their girlfriends or think they may cheat, I understand Moshe's "bro, just trust your girlfriend, she's an adult". But in this situation, the girlfriend is around really immature, creepy older dudes, who are also her bosses, who are also pressuring her to drink, who are also taking her on week-long trips to hotels to drink...like, come on Moshe. And because she's so much younger, she may be broke, trying to get her career started, may not recognize what these dudes are trying to do (or even that it's inappropriate), or she might believe that they wouldn't take advantage of her when she's drunk even if she feels a little uncomfortable with their behavior. The issue is not so much her but these other dudes and Moshe needs to wake up. Like all the red flags are there. That we gaslight women into believeing this is okay, normal, and acceptable behavior in the workplace and from their bosses is exactly how this toxic workplace culture and power imbalances remain alive and well. And then when something horrible happens, we blame the women and say "well why didn't you say something?", "why didn't you leave?", "why were you drinking with your bosses?", etc. So sick of this shit.

[@giuliaAnders]

Natasha is right. Bro are bullies and are GROSSSS

[@celiam.4940]

The bros straight up told to the guy's face that as far as they're concerned, their employee doesn't have a boyfriend... I don't get Moshe's point of view. There is insecurity and there is having a brain and connecting the dots! There's a point were open-mindedness can veer very easily into naiveté and stupidity.

[@reinders82]

if it feels like a trap, smells like a trap, it's a trap Mosh.

[@18tilwedie]

No one mentioned the dog in Natasha’s sofa??? Mood all day tbh

[@DanielHettenbach1]

I love how these two make each other laugh.

[@dootsey]

Natasha's dead on with the bf/gf work call. lol

[@letigre5822]

The first caller’s girl reminds me of me ,, I didn’t realize until almost 30,, that guys “just wanted to be friends” w me. I always thought they really just wanted to be friends!! 🤣I was very naive.

[@natduarte8]

Oh my god, please keep us posted about the Burning Man compromise 😂 And I must say I love the diversity of your point of views, I think is so rich to hear different opinions. Loved the episode

[@HH-gv8mx]

I think Natasha deserves better. I hope she don’t hurt but sometimes it gives me that vibe.

[@mjoyyourself]

I feel for caller one, I get where he’s coming from, I really think the 8month time stamp is so early in a relationship and that’s the time where insecurities are super up, totally normal and natural

[@foodwitch1342]

Trust your intuition. Us women have either experienced or have loved ones who have been victims of sexual predators. And most of the men reading this know a sexual predator or have had questionable moments yourself. Those bros grew up in a culture of dismissing sexual assault, and more than likely have a past themselves. 🚩🚩🚩

[@TheRedScareIsAlive]

I love when Natasha is done with the call and is like "bye, thank you, good luck"...and Moshe still wants to hear the sound of his own voice I'm usually with Natasha at that point 😭

[@thomasstephens8044]

that wink moshe gives natasha when he says "fear rumination stage" makes me think that's something he does that they've talked about

[@sheefree]

I think when we are younger, we may not realize how many things we can, and should say 'no' to in life. Just because an employer wants one to do certain things, doesn't mean we have to do it. Some people may depend on the fact that we don't realize we have much more agency, and choice, than we might know. Be polite, be nice, but center yourself and realize it's better to honor your boundaries and take care of yourself, than to make other people happy, and just go along when it's not really what you want for yourself. Truly not being afraid to disappoint people, when the alterative is doing something that doesn't feel right to you, is a huge component of being a truly free adult. Wakey wakey 💕🙏🏼

[@LeaveAhNah]

I tell so many people to tune in to get y’all’s advice.

[@benjiw1029]

Moshe's advice is fine but he pushes it so dogmatically, everything feels like a contest. Let me hear what Natasha thinks for one second.

[@ThePeej]

She’s not gonna sleep with you after he leaves her to tour the festival circuit with Circuit Breaker. 😂😅

[@HH-gv8mx]

I love Moshe and Natasha’s podcast. But I don’t love Moshe as a husband for her. She deserves way better.

[@joyfairclough4686]

absolutely agree with Moshe here. His analogy is spot-on.

[@jasonjason2789]

Moshe is a good listener and doesn't jump to conclusion resulting in great advice as usual 👍🏽

[@Ci-D3]

You guys killed it! Love you both!

[@racheller8753]

I love his shoes!!

[@sillantro5149]

Moshe is so off with the first caller... and he just goes on and on

[@carolyntalbot947]

One hundred percent.

[@johnnydeleon8210]

Tasha was sp right, they chucked him on that call and she was all about it, that chick is getting trained by all those dudes sorry

[@benjiw1029]

He has this one-note AA wisdom about personal accountability that he just beats over callers' heads with no nuance or curiosity. It seems to be more about him giving his epic lectures and pushing his point than actually engaging.

[@SailorGreenTea]

Is anyone else shocked by how attractive he is when he takes off his hide the gorgeous glasses?

[@SailorGreenTea]

Episode #168 thumbnail, I was like huwuah?!

[@gingerhitzke9185]

So impressed with Moshe’s take on the rocky mountain jealousy 🤗

[@carolyntalbot947]

You don't think he has _any_ ulterior motives with this "feminist" opinion? 🤔

[@khrisdavis1944]

This dynamic is so interesting I’ve been put in this position.. eventually putting my insecurities aside and trust my partner and doing really well with each.. fast forwarding we broke up because of her actions and words and in the attempts to get back together I found out she had sex with a coworker to get back at me. My point is have you’re insecurity express and ask for a little bit boundary like never calling me and handing the phone to the drunk bros so they can laugh at the fact that they’re getting her drunk.. more than unprofessional it was taunting

[@sarahthomson8183]

Natasha is 100% spot on for the call. The guys intuition and Natasha's was right on. Moshe was way off.

[@Afrosukha]

You both are my style icons and always look cool, even when Natasha has a plastic cap and dressing gown on.

[@Afrosukha]

I agree with Moshe regarding the first sexual jealousy problem. The girlfriend’s behaviour could become a relationship harming pattern but it’s the boyfriend’s job to hold this lightly or monitor (because he might not want to be with someone longterm who can’t express her boundaries with others etc.), and discuss his ‘part’, sexual jealousy, with his girlfriend but not to make it her problem to fix but as part of an open and honest conversation. His part is the only part he can confidently speak about and everything else could be an assumption driven by jealousy. Monogamous thinking makes the partner who is jealous the one who can put their ‘stuff’ unresolved past or early stuff or bad relationship stuff on the other person to resolve instead of encouraging good communication about difficult emotions - this is how to resolve all problems. If she turns out to be untrustworthy there is nothing you could say or do to stop someone from doing what they do. It’s their character and their problem and in this context it’s not the boyfriend’s job to make her a better person or a stronger person etc. Changing other people is not a healthy thing to want. You want to be with people who want positive change for themselves.

[@SWHBOYCE]

29:13...Natasha , you should do a character ( w/the narrative ) like the one timestamped .An hour plus of that character would be novel and wonderful .

[@benjiw1029]

I need a full series of her doing that character in bro drag

[@SWHBOYCE]

@@benjiw1029 A character she created on the spot ; I think it was brilliant .

[@AlwaysRobert]

Damn. Natasha really out here just shoveling coal onto the fire of this poor dudes insecurities.

[@robnorwood3591]

He needs to hear the truth. Covering for his girlfriend doesn't do him any favors.

[@AlwaysRobert]

@@robnorwood3591 what truth? None of us know the truth. You don't know what's going on, nor do the hosts, nor do I, nor does he. It's all fantasy, conjecture, and insecurity. Gtfoh

[@SWHBOYCE]

@@robnorwood3591 What could possibly go wrong with all the booze they're talking about . Sounds like a tryst of gay dudes....

[@SailorGreenTea]

4:50, 😆

[@tracywestrick6820]

Vaping chemicals is as dangerous if not worse than smoking

[@AB-gk7to]

Moshe is so wrong about the first call omg

[@JDMimeTHEFIRST]

Yeah, as a woman, those guys seem sexist and it sounded like a Me, too story. Why would they hire a women much younger than them when there are plenty of 40 something women they could have hired. Also, what do they even do? What is their business? Do they ever work? It sounds like they hired someone younger because they figured she would put up with their BS. An experienced woman would not deal with that. Can't she do her job without having to hang out with them all the time? Probably. A little work bonding is fine, but binge drinking at their age is lame.

[@_baert]

Seriously! Moshe isacting like because nothing has happened YET, that it has to be that the caller is jealous and not that the bosses behaviour is already negative, unprofessional and possibly ramping up for something worse!!

[@mandoville]

The World Legit Deserves Natashas Babies Origin Story Is Somewhere in Here

[@jacobsnow6726]

natasha defs looking for an out lol

[@ravenbossification]

Moshe was being purposefully obtuse here because he feels triggered by the “40 year old bro” description. I am 100% convinced. His advice to the first caller sounded like a man who has never lived in the real world before. Power dynamics in the work place are very real, especially for women and he is right to be concerned. Her bosses are being 1000% inappropriate and defending them making you a part of the problem. He’s not just being insecure. His gf is in a situation where her bosses are bullying her into being a bro in the name of having a job with them. Would you prefer that he waits until they actually assault her? I really like Moshe but this was so ugly.

[@MaShcode]

Bro’s are always Hootie & the Blowfish and herring bone prints.

[@mollyboggs8558]

i think natasha and moshe are both a little right and a little wrong on the first caller. my main concern is that even if some of his concern is coming from a place of insecurity, i think it’s valid to be worried about her. not in a paternalistic infantalizing way, but i’d be worried about her spending this time with four older men that clearly DO NOT respect her boundaries. i don’t think that’s jealousy, that can for sure turn into something genuinely dangerous if she isn’t setting and enforcing her boundaries. i love moshe’s advice most of the time but i think sometimes he has a blind spot when he goes into giving his advice.

[@Pandi-Fackler]

Completely agree with Moshe about the first caller. While he seems to mean well, the way he talked about his girlfriend really came off as infantilizing so I’m glad he called him out on it

[@josephkahara583]

Jeez, Moshe is getting attacked for this one... I think his intention with the "insecurity" comments is to create a better situation for the caller to approach his partner. Of course some boundaries need to be set , but coming at the partner with accusations and assumptions could only end badly. If the conversation starts with the caller expressing his own feelings about it, it will be a more positive and understanding interaction in the case that nothing fishy is actually going on.

[@carolyntalbot947]

Moshe is hard-core projecting with the first caller, using him to talk his wife into thinking her "insecurity" is irrational and he should be able to screw around at Burning Man with no consequences. Get over yourself, big boy.

[@johnnydeleon8210]

Moshe needs to chill, he hit the jack pot with a smoke show wife and HES the one that wants to hook up with other people? Chill tf moshe you ain't that guy

[@carolyntalbot947]

@@johnnydeleon8210 💯 He most certainly is not "that guy."

[@Naejakire3]

Aw she loves you.. But yeah, it's a trap

[@realitymomshow]

I really love you guys but also I think I’m one of the funniest person I know with the craziest love story ever and I DARE you to have me on the show!!

[@Stalamantes]

Natasha is diabolical lol

[@SWHBOYCE]

5:30...Did you mean a " Parent trap " ?.(2-..Mayor Cutie looks a little' uncomfortable ', if it were me ?...not so. 21:25...If not her , who are they tryin' to f... ? ( lets take a wild guess )

[@poisonmonkeyposse795]

Moshe was the nerdy friend the frat bros had and let come to their parties because he had access to date rape drugs from his rave scene that’s why he’s defending the frat bros that are trying to date rape their new hire. He was gaslighting to deflect the truth of the situation. Those guys know exactly what their doing. Callers gf needs a new job full stop.

[@timtay8011]

Poison monkey posse I assume that you enjoy this podcast but I understand that doesn't mean you couldn't consider Moshe, Natasha, or both of them the worst people on earth. What I'm wondering is if you really meant to type, "Moshe was..." Rather than, Moshe looks like someone I know, heard about, read about, or IMO fits a stereotype of someone (now I'm going to paraphrase the remainder of your comment as of 8:40 a.m. PST) who was considered too nerdy during his college years to be accepted into frat parties or by frat Bros. Moshe's intelligence and access to the rave scene gave him access to "date rape drugs" (I assume you're referring to ketamine or GHB) which he then uses the procured drugs as his bartering currency to purchase his way into frat parties and raise his social standing. Lastly, you're wright that he defends the Greek system to this very day even with the knowledge that when he was trying to fit in with frat Bro's, Moshe was aware then that the drugs that he used to get into the parties were probably being used to rape women and potentially guys too. So if that's truly on the lines of what you meant by your comment, that is a hell of an accusation and could be very harmful to Moshe's present and future and his wife child family friends coworkers. If that's not what you meant and you modify your comment or remove your comment I will remove my response to your current comment.

[@giaafshar8419]

um that first guys advice was way too long.

[@auraholyultimababybaby9367]

The first callers girl's job kinda seems like the plot of a porn, sorry. Just base level. Honestly what are the chances she stays faithful? That would be exceptional. Am I wrong? Idk. It's about to go down lol.

[@figgettit]

ugh change the camera angle ! hate it.

[@Elkator]

Natasha is so far off on that first guy

[@laketac]

Natasha, I love you, but you were EXTREMELY unhelpful in the call with the insecure boyfriend. He'd had enough of those thoughts and you COULD be wrong...why lean toward the negative? Why pour gasoline on his insecurities? I understand it's not a "real" advice show...😳