2 People Narcissists Cannot Tolerate

Given their judgmental nature, narcissists have great difficulty showing tolerance toward people in general. But Dr. Les Carter identifies two types of people who are chronically on their bad list. It could be that you are in one (or both) of those categories.
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[@nancypeplau9747]

They also can’t tolerate people who are genuinely happy.

[@morthedgebuckle227]

And they can't tolerate happiness in general

[@TheMrdoc26]

I would say … you don’t even know… but people here do know.. not only did this family refuse to be happy no conversation in joy about the Lord but if you came in complaining about this pastor or the wife or the one doing day care. You could get involved for hours maybe. Always trying to bring you down to the point of wild accusations that make no sense… that’s enough I suppose

[@stev838]

I’ll never forget those words. Why are you so dam happy Once o got sick. They would not help me. Lost 68 pounds Checked in for starvation and dehydration. The staff wanted them for it I protected them ( stupid I know ) 20 days later. I got back. They said move I don’t want the liability of you dying on my land. Not so nice gal That began my education Now I can spot one of them at twenty feet. I’m healthy happy and everyday is Saturday

[@user-ck8yo8kg4c]

I like shouting "Good Morning Neighbor, have a great day"!! To my narcissistic neighbor. It enrages her. 😮 😁😂🤣😭

[@fred.k9875]

People with strong boundaries who have no problem calling them out and seen the monster behind the mask.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're white hot, Fred!

[@yukio_saito]

That is my ex-coworker. I easily saw through he is toxic, but he become more and more antagonistic. Finally, I ran away from the job. 🏃💨💨

[@truthseeker9355]

The longer a person has to deal with the narcissist, the more boundaries that become necessary.

[@David-eu1ms]

We should still call out poor behavior.

[@David-lo1fo]

​​@@yukio_saitosaw through that* he...

[@juliachildress2943]

There are only two kinds of people in the world of the narcissist: tools and enemies. You're either a tool to be used to meet the narcissist's needs or you're an enemy.

[@terri7544]

🎯💯

[@terri7544]

🎯💯

[@kimberlygiovanelli6230]

💥 Nailed it!

[@ColinFreeman-kh9us]

Well said

[@melodysanquist4834]

Yes exactly!

[@anniebnannie9945]

Narcissists are soooo exhausting

[@id5girl]

And boring!

[@rodkneeellil3905]

THEY ARE, TOO!

[@joansrusticsoapsjoan2111]

Narcissistic people have no problem telling you what they think about you, but they don’t take it too well with you try and call them out on their activities.

[@user-sg6sv9oi6i]

Exactly 💯

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

If I called my dad out on his s...; he would get angry and tell me how wrong I am and to apologize to him for allegedly lying to him. I refuse to apologize, I am not lying.

[@chatsu5441]

The karma is real so their eyes see as their behaviour will do , their words return back to them after.

[@user-qv9nw1dq2f]

Narcisists do not like people who tell the truth, are authentic unapologetically, and love other people. They hate the most beautiful qualities we can have as human beings. Thank you dr Carter. God bless you❤

[@jennifermixer1117]

We do all have our own perspectives, but truth is not subjective. The truth is important, especially when dealing with people who are liars. @@coachwhitford7315

[@bennylindqvist3433]

its because they dont have those things so they want to destroy you in all ways to be better looking and put you in depression and all and sad thing is is that they some was threated same way and then do it the same to others.

[@dark7angel456]

Explains why I was confused

[@deborahriley1166]

Yeah 😕 I have described it as being the sheep backed into a corner, but the dog is continuing to bite the hocks 🤨🤨🤨 Sick and tired of it!🤨

[@valleygirl2530]

I’m convinced that this type of person cannot tolerate ANYONE else unless they’re in total control of the relationship. They seem to hate even themselves. What a blight on the human race.

[@user-fd5mh9do8y]

They hate it when you can see exactly what they are

[@RC-eb5hq]

They hate IMMEDIATELY. How do they so quickly ascertain that you can see through them?

[@DomesticAbuseSurvivor55]

This 🙌

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Their problematic attitude and behavior!

[@athensmajnoo3661]

Not only see, but point out to them who they really are.

[@lt827]

When my narcissistic sister says “I pray for peace in this family” it’s really a window dressed version of “I pray that everyone in this family will see things my way”

[@joeya289]

Narcissists masking as empaths is very common. Probably 60%+ of this comments section is made up of people thinking they are the victim/good guy, but as we all know, that's exactly how a narcissist sees themselves.

[@Xaxtarr_Neonraven]

It's funny how narcissists can only see their side but how the healthy person can see both sides and the grey in between. You can free yourself from narcissists by no longer trying to change them or getting them to do what you want, by recognizing them for who they are and by recognizing your own worth and ability. Even though they may have their own "life" to lead, you have yours. The one thing that narcissists cannot tolerate is your freedom.

[@snicksabea]

Sounds like my aunt. Yeesh.

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

😂😂😂

[@msjannd4]

Absolutely! 😉

[@sandrathomas2893]

1.Someone with strong discernment who can't be charmed or easily influenced 2. Someone self sustaining that doesn't have a need that they'll try to "help" them with. 3. Someone like me NOW!

[@yukio_saito]

I have 1 and 2 😧

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Glad to hear it! Take care 🙏❤️

[@robertruge2916]

Someone with a fine-tuned BS detector.

[@josiah5776]

Well done!

[@sandrathomas2893]

@@robertruge2916 💥

[@judiruthmeredith6427]

So true- “narcissism is the absence of love.”

[@danielkaiser8971]

Yes, and that same exact quote also hit me and made me stop and think about all kinds of examples of the "absence of love". I couldn't help but think of past religious studies that describe God as love, and a certain horrible place in the afterlife where God (Love) is absent. Even people who are not religiously inclined have heard of it, regardless of beliefs. And those of us who have endured the absence of love in relationships, we know how it feels.

[@msjannd4]

Yes; exactly!

[@loafergirl3374]

Good one, after 3.5 years I stood up to him and he took me OUT! His vengeance was intense and then he told me he didn’t have deep emotional connection with me…really? But I think you are correct

[@heartsquaremusic2953]

and, just to be clear, you can love someone and want the best for them, but not agree with aspects of their choices or lifestyle. This is especially true if it impedes on the direction of society and the freedoms therein. unfortunately, from what I have seen, the majority of people cannot handle subtlety of thought, even to that small degree. The real narcissists are those who have been gripped by ideological possession, to quote a smarter man than I. They are those who have been compelled through emotion by propaganda to believe the totality of a given ideology that they themselves have not actually unpacked or been critical of; to a fault.

[@Gina71954]

💯 True

[@chrisla2736]

Healthy communication. Healthy debate. Narcissists are 100% incapable.

[@lynnchastain8224]

They can't even put words together to make a complete sentence

[@melodysanquist4834]

The moment they feel they are losing an argument they start name calling and flinging false accusations at you while telling you “You don’t know what your talking about!”….. And, “Your just jealous!”.

[@madeleinegrayson8372]

A truth teller in a family with alcoholism and narcissism is either a prisoner who has shut down, or they are battling for sanity.

[@Sarita-ci9wc]

I was battling for my sanity walking on egg shells all the time hurts and is very hard to do. Having a child gave me the strength to get up and get out. I dislike saying this but it is true. At times through our lives I often thought she herself felt such sorrow. He also physically abused us.

[@user339]

That's how my childhood was. I moved out at eighteen.

[@cjeartist]

Battling for sanity here

[@kirkpeters8043]

My sister couches her narcissism in religion. Finally, a few years ago I put her on blast and went no contact. Highly doubtful that she will step this way again. Or, any other narc actually . "Blood does not make family. Love and respect makes family". I'm all done.

[@MrTwinkieeater]

It's called spiritual bypassing. Not uncommon. I knew a man that was "an excellent methodist layman" as purported by his peers. His oldest wasn't a boy. You wouldn't believe the brain damage he did to her. Worse yet, "mommy" let it happen.

[@danielkaiser8971]

My half-sister (currently 71) is similar. She is not very religious, but she volunteers for a church. That would be wonderful except for the fact she tells personal friends and relatives how much she hates it, how everyone is doing everything wrong, and how no one listens to her. Yet she chooses to stay a church volunteer. I think she is actually quite happy about her situation as a church volunteer because it "usually" gets her "public praise" and "private sympathy".

[@mcphersong5528]

Religious narcs are the worst

[@secondhorizon]

"Blood does not make family. Love and respect makes family" Dostoevsky and Tolstoy brought this out in their novels.

[@CaliDreaming98]

True Dat...❤

[@monaj33]

They hate loving, truthfull, open minded people...got it 😊❤

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Yep!

[@user-wy6gg8fn4s]

My husband hates me so much go about to destroy my name to who ever cares to listent.He goes to my place of work, my children school and church also am so heart broken,I pray God send me a helper to pull me out of this misery 😢

[@mrnobody3161]

​@@user-wy6gg8fn4s Escape. Get a Divorce.

[@billywayne902]

@@leighleigh8725 In this time in our time on earth they are more people falling in on the dark side they are letting in the dark spirits and they hate the people of light they have let in the evilness and they love the hell that there in especially if you are a believer in Christ they will come after harder and form a army against you take that as a sign that you on the right path it’s hard but we are in school on this earth don’t give in this is all of the devil just like racism, narcissist, mental illness, any isms it is all hate which is all of the devil. And he is well and alive. A lot of people don’t realize that Lucifer is the god little g of this earth he has permission to Temp us and to put false thoughts in our head.

[@valleygirl2530]

@@user-wy6gg8fn4s. You have to set your intention to do that for yourself. No one else can or even wants to unless they’re another narcissist. Learn how and what to do and before you know it you’ll leave the stormy past behind.

[@thereisnoninadria]

“Self esteem is not built at someone else’s expense.” That’s a beautiful way to phrase it. Thank you, Dr. C! ❤

[@cereal_qilla]

Ameen

[@devilsoffspring5519]

Except that for many, many people it IS built that way, and for them it works just fine. Look at authorities, for example.

[@thereisnoninadria]

@@devilsoffspring5519 You’re right that there are some people who attempt to build their self esteem at the expense of others. That’s not healthy and not stable because even they know at the end of the day that they used and dehumanized others to make themselves feel/look/acquire better. So the question is, what have they actually built? Actual, meaningful, stable self esteem or is it just a house of self aggrandizement through bad behavior cards? I say the latter. It’s not real and they know it. They ultimately dehumanized themselves by behaving as they have.

[@Isochest]

@@devilsoffspring5519 Full of Narcs

[@chrisantoniou4366]

@@thereisnoninadria What you say is quite true, but the Narcissist will never see it that way, or admit it. However, it is "stable" because it's self-generated. Building yourself up by putting others down is SOP for Narcissists.

[@tedbegeman4302]

They can think they are smarter than everyone else around them!

[@LaylaHumphrey-pg1eo]

AMEN!!

[@chriscogley7216]

Big time

[@Schmoityface]

When they're actually profoundly stupider!

[@richardfiorentino3951]

my ex would always say "I hate being the smartest person in the room" lol. ... I did not understand her cockiness because I did not understand people who were highly narcissistic .... she was my first and will be my last

[@caroleminke6116]

First of all narcissists cannot tolerate those who disagree with them & furthermore they hate anyone who dares to criticize them 😂 my way or the highway thinking till the death 😢 stay strong ❤

[@susanmurphy6681]

They are NEVER WRONG, so yep….anyone who dares to question or criticize them is going to get their wrath.

[@lilaccilla]

its about a power struggle with them , and its founded in self hatred and insecurities

[@TheMazinoz]

@@Silence_between_waves Exactly, it is NOT you it's them, really.

[@sarisatravis7479]

❤

[@user-or7jn2pp4f]

Totally

[@user-tt5kb2te4x]

They become aggressive physically when being rejected, ignored.

[@goboudou]

Yes they do !

[@barbarablackburn4755]

Also when they hear "no"

[@user-yj7xw8on2t]

Absolutely! And they become physically aggressive when you challenge their lies and when you catch them cheating.

[@randywatts6969]

Some of them, but most are passive-aggressive.

[@user-ut7hh3zb2f]

Only if they think they will "win". They don't want a physical fight if you can smash them. But then they will get tricky and sneaky - if you let them.

[@user-yy9op7uo2c]

I’m certain that narcissists have more than one personality. They have no morals and contradict themselves often

[@danielkaiser8971]

Narcissists definitely have more than one face or persona that they show in different situations, but the narcissist is fully aware of them and in control of them. A narcissist will, for example, behave one way (usually quite well) when they know they are being recorded or watched in public by people they want to impress or who don't know them, but in private they become abusive with people who do know them.

[@geraldfriend256]

To my view they all seem possessed by the very same 5 year old entitled monster. The more of their moves you know from learning patterns, the more you see every one of them pull the same gaslighting garbage

[@janetmalcolm6191]

They criticise and tell many lies to get their way and to look good over others.

[@tunkytunky]

They have different masks they wear in different situations. They actually lack a fully developed internal world and have less developed core personalities as a result.

[@ByHisGrace-]

That's very true

[@prettyflytraveler]

The psychological laziness is spot on. They will do everything to not grow or improve instead of investing that same energy into simply doing better and being better.

[@eringray32]

I have told the narcissist in my life that he is the prosecutor, judge and jury for everyone. No one can interject an opinion other than his because he has already decided what is correct based on his own opinion. Nothing else matters.

[@judyjones6304]

The Judge

[@barbwire3507]

I believe that there’s more than 2 kinds of people that narcissists can’t tolerate. They hate all people who don’t give them 100% loyalty and praise and support of everything they say and do!

[@patsk8872]

Massive exaggeration. Not every narcissist is full-on 100% complete and utter narcissist all the time.

[@virginniaherring8381]

@@patsk8872 my mother was and my sister still is. 100% all of the time.

[@amarbyrd2520]

​@@virginniaherring8381I think it also gets worse the older they get

[@RC-eb5hq]

​@@amarbyrd2520Mine could be SOOO charming in public; behind closed doors it was like "Mommy Dearest". And the switch occurred in a split second. So, doesn't BEHAVE like an overt narc 100% of time, but is a narc 100%. As she got older, the veneer cracked and she became more obvious... the hard part was people would say "it's age/dementia, it's not really her". I have news for them: It was always her and that's who she always was.

[@carolynbennett2735]

Former friend I had is exactly that way!

[@julianterris]

1. Anyone who challenges their paradigm (their understanding of the world/events at large). 2. Anyone who challenges their behavior (their attitudes towards others). 3. Anyone who challenges their antipathy (their lack of love). Thank you, Doctor Carter.

[@elanahammer1076]

Yes thank you Dr. C… I try to practice your dignity, civility and respect but the boundaries with me are very discerning. I have noticed how a narcissist quickly loses their temper. They are in a variety of places from churches to grocery stores for example. Happy holidays or Merry Christmas Dr. C 🤔❤🇺🇸

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

​@@elanahammer1076 Especially churches.

[@brotherlittlefoot2216]

@@Mantras-and-Mystics Especially everywhere.

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

@@brotherlittlefoot2216 True. Just grew up in a church with my narc mother as the head honcho. So I get especially triggered by the word "church!"

[@user-pb2vo4pt3t]

Antipathy is thinly veiled hate. A veil easily broken over the slightest infraction! I got 49 years of it from my mom, half brother, and step sisters. So trust me, I've lived it. (Not meant as mean, just my experience.)

[@gal1885]

I had to leave the highest paying job I ever had, solely because of 2 raging narcissists. They just drove me out. But now I work remotely (no toxic office environment/ coworker encounters!) and I’m happier at my current, lower paying job. Life is full of twists and turns but it always works out in the end!

[@avennewessel8699]

@gal1885 Remote work is the BEST for emotional health. Every place I've ever worked at in person there have been at least 2 narcissists (I call them sociopaths - essentially the same thing), and then their flying monkeys (or "apaths") and they lose their power when we're not in the office. They still have some power, mind you, but nothing like in person. It is such a relief! Every office I've ever worked in has been toxic. Every single one.

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

Nothing is worth destroying your health and your peace. 💚

[@gal1885]

@@Mantras-and-Mystics thank you so much for the reply ❣️

[@gal1885]

@@avennewessel8699 I’m so glad I’m not alone…they really make you feel like you’re the problem…and yes they are sociopaths!

[@avennewessel8699]

@@gal1885 Indeed! They gaslight the heck out of us. Trust yourself - it has taken me quite a while to get there, and preferably to not get on their radar if at all possible, because if I do, all hell breaks loose (for me, not them). Not always easy, because they spot an empathic person right away. I've tried to learn as much as I can about these creatures. I don't call them human - humans are their prey. Humans are not on the top of the food chain, sociopaths are. I'm always learning, and I've had to learn a lot about myself in the process.

[@kannl_veg]

When faced with the choice of being right or being loving, they will ALWAYS choose being right.

[@junkettarp8942]

Its called CONTROL.

[@fushia37]

I told my sister I am going to be homeless and asked if I can stay with her. She told me Sorrrrry!!! There is nothing I can do.😢 Never trust a narcissist.

[@laurajane4806]

3 ways to cause narcissistic injury without trying: Authenticity, Excellence & Integrity. Thank you, Dr. Carter! Namaste :-)

[@dalelerette206]

Amen. Faith - unquestioning belief that does not require proof or evidence. Hope - a feeling that what is wanted will happen, desire accompanied by expectations. Charity - the agape love of God for thier fellow man. Prudence - quality of being prudent, excercising sound judgement. Justice - quality of being righteous, impartiality, fairness. Temperance - quality of sobriety, moderation, self restraint. Courage - facing anything recognized as dangerous, difficult, or painful. Strength, according to Tolkien, manifests itself most clearly not in the exercise of power but rather in the willingness to give it up.

[@hijadeDios2023]

@@dalelerette206 They can't against of the fruit of the spirit

[@dalelerette206]

@@hijadeDios2023 Exactly. When you are moved by the Spirit you manifest love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are the weapons we use in battle. Against such things there is no law. The devil seems to have thought he had our Lord Jesus exactly where the adversary wanted him to be. I may be misunderstanding the scenario. But our Lord Jesus seems to have walked willingly into the pain and suffering of His Crucifixion on the Roman cross. I suppose the adversary was devastated when he realized the Suffering Servant he had killed was actually his Master. ❤ I also was with you in weakness and fear, and in great trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of mankind, but on the power of God. Yet we do speak wisdom among those who are mature; a wisdom, however, not of this age nor of the rulers of this age, who are passing away; but we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God predestined before the ages to our glory; the wisdom which none of the rulers of this age has understood; for if they had understood it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory; but just as it is written: “Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, And which have not entered the human heart, All that God has prepared for those who love Him.” I Corinthians 2: 8-9

[@maryw3989]

You can't have healthy boundaries with a narcissist they don't allow that. Just leave don't expect them to change the weather changes narcissistic people don't. When you call them out on their lies and bad behavior they deny and project.

[@carrieo102]

You’re right. My narc is my stylist. We have worked together for 20 years. I moved to management in the office and my narc expected me to share private information with her. When I said I would never do this she iced me out, giving the silent treatment, trying triangulation with me and the owner. Over and over again. Right now, I am counteracting her silence with my silence going no contact. There will be paperwork from management going forward I will handle it like I would any other tenant. She is moving her business to another location this will happen in 2 months. I’ve thought about canceling all my appointments in person but upon reflection, I’m going to do this through her booking site instead, hence no contact. The woman in the suite behind her is going to be my new stylist. She’s so nice so REAL. It’s been a very exhausting year and a half. The day she leaves I’m removing her from social media. If I do it now, she’ll play the victim and we all know narcs do this. Trying to talk with her is asking for more insanity. I do not like her. I don’t trust her. She brings nothing but toxicity into my life. She brought this on herself. I’m good with it.

[@zigoat]

This subject should be core in grade school. I am an empath that suffered narcissists into my adult life, wondering what made some people blind to other peoples' right to there own opinion. Narcissism is one of the largest problems on the planet. Life could be much more pleasant if we were all made aware of them earlier in life.

[@gingerl2995]

They didn’t want us to know… my mother a covert narcissist taught me about wolves in sheeps clothing while also telling me (as young child) I would get struck by lightening if I did bad when she wasn’t watching as God was always watching. Interestingly she’s now 90 and I’m 53. Her and my sister really did a number on me right before thanksgiving so my kids and I did not go to dinner this year. No apologies so karma had its way…she fell ironically coming out the church hitting her head on a car landing on pavement. Bruised up but nothing broken. My sister just got out of hospital from pneumonia….. Mom called to invite just me and kids for Christmas with a humble tone I haven’t heard in years. It’s crazy!!!

[@retsamnogard]

I've been saying this for years and couldn't agree more. It sickens me that we spend 13 years (Australia) at school and come out of it totally ill equipped for the real world. There should be a 'life schools' class in year 11 or 12 and as part of that we should be taught about both narcissists and sociopaths.

[@sandrathomas2893]

@@retsamnogard they wouldn't be narcissists or sociopaths if you could see them at the gate. They've been here since the beginning of time and gaslit their way into normalization.

[@DirtyJamesUK]

COMPLETELY AGREE. I'm almost certain that it's far more common than figures would suggest too. The official %s seem far too small.

[@DirtyJamesUK]

​@@retsamnogard COMPLETELY AGREE. I loved Maths at school. But much of it has no use at all in the real world. Whereas unwitting, prolonged contact with a narcissist/psychopath/sociopath can have huge effects on your mental health, and possibly even physical health. Yet nobody even gives you a clue about it. Madness!

[@deedee19791]

They don’t respect boundaries

[@user-kf3yz7so6q]

They don’t respect anything.

[@hannahpumpkins4359]

My mother and father were both diagnosed with NPD. They gave me away to my grandmother to raise me when I was 6 years old, and adopted my sister, who they went on to nearly worship. I asked my cousin who had been around then when my folks gave me away, as to why they did it. She said, 'even when you were very young you were intelligent, and always independent, and frankly, they despised you because of this; they neglected you, ignored you, and then finally convinced your grandmother to take you".

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

😮 I'm lost for words!!

[@RwM410]

Thank you for having the bravery to share this.

[@SuperStar-jr3nu]

I'm sorry that happened. Mother did the same to me.

[@didirobert3657]

I hope your grandmother was good to you. As painful as it was, they did you a favor. I am just curious as to how in the world they were able to adopt a child after they had given you away. They must have been highly manipulative to be able to get people to lie for them like that! Adoption agencies turn away people who have given their kids up, or had them removed by the state.

[@martinas8063]

Maybe bc they are afraid of your light

[@Andrew-eo5bv]

If you have a choice between being right and being kind, always choose kind. --Wayne Dyer.

[@LisaValentine1]

People pleasers should not take this advice.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I agree with Wayne!

[@danielkaiser8971]

@doppelganger6091 You are correct that kindness doesn't matter to the narcissist, but the narcissist is absolutely not the one and only person in the universe. What I have learned is that in the end, I have my own self and my own conscience to deal with. With healing I have felt better, but in feeling better I am also able to feel more regret for the times in my past I reacted in a way that I am not happy about. So kindness has become important to me, since I still have all the negative thoughts about abuse, but now I also know those thoughts will pass and I will be happy with how I handled a negative situation -- the narcissist was not at the center, focus or forefront of anything.

[@brg2743]

They don't understand kindness. They don't understand no. The only thing they get isbgray rock them.

[@geraldfriend256]

@@LisaValentine1hear hear. Some folks don’t understand kindness. It is better to be right in those rare cases , being nice gets F all. Nope

[@majestic.feminine]

They loath people and concepts that they don’t comprehend nor care to understand. Theirs is life based on fear.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

On target!!

[@An-mei]

Last sentence is an eye opener!

[@aaronkwolfe]

@@An-meiAs much as they crave control, they themselves are controlled by fear. They think it can offset, but it never can.

[@danielkaiser8971]

Yes, and in my case it was particularly when the narcissist couldn't control me to get out of my own reality. People who care try to understand other people. Narcissists are convinced it's not worth the effort because it doesn't benefit them somehow.

[@user-yj7xw8on2t]

Yes and my partner actually said he loathed me and I was shocked and hurt. Now I know it's what they are.

[@darla2142]

They don't like people thinner and in better shape.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

In other words, envy.

[@lisayerry3694]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@peggybouchard9990]

Mine criticizes anyone and anything.

[@clintonnagy1662]

So true. I'm thin and athletic at 51 163 lbs. She told me I make her feel bad about her body because she feels chunky next to me. She asked me to slow down and have fat handels.

[@zenamom]

Thanks for showing us why narcissists seem so boring to interact with.

[@vickit3124]

Yes! At the end of the day, they’re actually super boring! Wow, wouldn’t they hate that ‘label’?! 😊

[@rde4017]

It is impossible to have a normal conversation with them, they only want a debate or a row.

[@fainitesbarley2245]

Yes. After the first two or three months of creating a relationship or friendship, you never really have a decent conversation or straightforward fun times ever again. Then you hear them making the same jokes, conversation points, suggestions to the next potential supply! Conversely I have true friends for many decades and we never run out of things to talk about or do.

[@dann547]

I would describe them as “ shallow.”

[@Vanc1234]

This comment hits so hard wow

[@roxymovie3938]

Narcissists 🎭 can't tolerate... 1. Healthy people 2. Happy people Healthy people know who they are, so they can create strong boundaries. >> Narcs can't step over them. Healthy people do what they think, and think what they do so they are authentic. >> Narcs can't brainwash. Healthy people are able to love and their love is genuine. >> Narcs loathe genuine love. Healthy people are able to care and they are able to ask for help, so they are able to give and receive. >> Narcs are careless, only takers. Healthy people are honest with themselves (authentic) and are honest with other people, so they are trustworthy and can also trust other people. >> Narcs do not trust anybody. Healthy people take care about themselves (self-care, the basic) and so they know what they need and fulfill their needs on their own. >> Narcs are needy people. Healthy people are able to control their emotions for they don't want to harm other people, so they are protective to themselves and others. >> Narcs are dysregulated. >> Narcs need others to control. Healthy people are able to be vulnerable for they know that this guides to intimacy. >> Narcs avoid any intimacy. >> Narcs fear vulnerability. Healthy people are able to be open for they know that this connects them with other people. >> Narcs have lots of secrets. >> Narcs can't attach to people. Healthy people are curious because they are interested. >> Narcs are only interested in temselves. Healthy people are respectful to themselves and to others for they know that every human being is unique and valuable. >> Narcs are disrespectful, harsh, mean. >> Narcs think only they are special. Healthy people have an empathy that comes naturally. >> Narcs only fake empathy. Healthy people know that they need to learn in order to grow to become the best version of themselves. >> Narcs think they already know everything. Healthy people know that life is an ongoing process with lots of changes, ups and downs. >> Narcs do not want to change. Healthy people are confident from within for they know that everything they need is already there. >> Narcs can seem confident from the outside/facade but at the core they are fear based. Healthy people are tolerant and flexible for they know everyone has flaws. >> Narcs are unflexible controllers. >> Narcs feel flawless. >> Narcs are revengeful. Happy people are .... 》Please, fill in the blanket 》 And I will make a list 🪄 for happy people >> Narcs are the opposite!!! Happy people find joy and beauty in innocence. Happy people are thoughtful and kind to others. Happy people cooperate. >> Narcs dictate. Happy people are happy much of the time. >> Narcs are the opposite much of the time. Happy people love unconditionally. >> Narcs "love" comes with conditions. >> Narcs cannot respect differences. Happy people are at peace. Happy people drive Narcs crazy.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I love how you process, Roxy!

[@An-mei]

Happy people find joy and beauty in innocence.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Absolutely 💯 ❤

[@lotusphoenix8]

Very well thought-out and stated. 👌

[@denisem4575]

So on point, once again 😊. I ditto Dr. C’s reply to your comment 💛

[@l.5832]

I had a boss that pushed me out of my job by making false accusations. I wanted to know why he hated me so much. He said "You are different. I don't know what to do with you". I was the only female on an all-male crew but what really seemed to bother him. is I pulled my weight and did all the required tasks. That term "You are different" really is a sore spot for me......

[@dnk4559]

I so get that. My narcissistic father scapegoated me and in the last year of his life during one of my many visits where he berated me or said something negative every time he I showed up, he told me “You’re different than my other two, they are more like me.” These other two have continued the scapegoating since he’s passed and I am low contact. The family sees the rift in my relationship with the sibs as my being so different in my personality style. Of course they have no real idea what I’ve been dealing with because it’s always been my job to protect my siblings and I realized I did it so long that I was denying the reality of their abuse.

[@christinelamb1167]

@@dnk4559 I've always been different than everyone in my immediate family. I was always more like my grandma (my mother's mother), and isn't it interesting that my mother (the narc) always hated both me and my grandma?

[@danielkaiser8971]

Narcissist do "whatever works" to elicit a response out of you, usually one of misery and suffering that makes the narcissist feel more powerful. Narcissists also assign you a role to play, direct from their alternate reality in their imagination. And when you don't conform to this role, they feel powerless. Rinse and repeat.

[@joeya289]

Sounds like you weren't compatible with the team, and everyone involved is better off. Did you want to stay on a team with a leader who couldn't relate to you?

[@caroleminke6116]

Misogynist

[@CDP.ArtSparks]

I’ve always been a truth teller, have tried to come from a place of love, and I’m “different” from other people in many ways. In retrospect, it is exactly these 3 strikes that led me to quit my last job where there were 2 narcissists that despised me. Thank you for all of your videos that have helped me to believe that A) I wasn’t crazy, B) that I deserved dignity, and respect, and C) that self love is the key to unraveling their narcissistic insanity. Still haven’t found a job, but I am so much happier and have peace of mind like never before. Thank you!

[@luvsunshine4825]

Darkness always hates light. Hope you find a job where you are much happier! 💕

[@GaslightingIsEvil]

They hate truth tellers. It was used against me as people see truth as manipulative sometimes, if the narcissistic people charm people and them it is. I stood my ground and told the truth and they anticipated that and used it against me.

[@--emt]

Stay strong a job is a job and easily replaceable your mental health is not .next time you start a job ,keep to yourself do your job at best and do it well have your armor up and don't open up to anyone . If you get a gut feeling around someone you will know second chances are the best to start over 🤙

[@gal1885]

I had to leave the highest paying job I ever had, solely because of 2 raging narcissists. They just drove me out. But now I work remotely (no toxic office environment/ coworker encounters!) and I’m happier at my current, lower paying job. Life is full of twists and turns but it always works out in the end!

[@msjannd4]

I'm so sorry you experienced that! Narcissists at work are awful; we spend more time in our jobs than at home. I'm glad you got away and you *will* get another job. It'll happen; keep your chin up. 😊😉

[@lisabolo26]

The singular recompense here is that the Narcissist is the loneliest person in the world

[@kikaree]

When a narcissist gets involved with law enforcement and the judicial system, watch out! The narcissist starts looking to circumvent any blame.

[@marybethmooney7490]

Yes/TG I’m a survivor 🕊️ 😊

[@mre9208]

Narcissists thrive on power.

[@Dyane629]

Absolutely. My narcissist sister works in a law office for attorneys and has abused her position for years. In her mind she’s passed the state bar & holds a medical license. In reality she’s not ever even received an undergraduate degree. She is truly the worst person I have ever known which is why I have gone no contact.

[@lisayerry3694]

My ex assaulted me dislocated my shoulder and left BLACK bruises. He fled afterward and a girlfriend took me to the ER. The doctor called the Police. A detailed report and photos were taken. I was moved to a shelter for my safety. When we went to court his family had hired HIM a FEMALE attorney that represented VICTIMS of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. 😂

[@Sarita-ci9wc]

The worst ability they pride themselves on is to be able to con the courts and have officials think you harmed them. Your the perp.

[@sheilajac]

people who they see as flawed or weak (they have nothing but contempt and zero empathy or compassion) and honest/authentic ppl, are my guesses. they "like" other narcissists, people who have the same "values" (or lack thereof) as they do. other gossips, other con artists, other liars are their "people"

[@christinelamb1167]

You're right on point!

[@MagicalCreations-fw7pj]

You NAILED it completely!

[@valleygirl2530]

In my experience narcissists have no capacity to like other people. However they will interact with ease with people they can easily control. I know a female NP who interacts easily with men who don’t challenge her but she can’t stand strong women.

[@peacefulwarrior6169]

I find that in the beginning of a relationship they will pretend to believe and enjoy whatever you're into. In my experience.

[@Hatbox948]

Right. My ex narc did that. It lasted about 2 weeks and then it was his preferences for everything. Food, restaurants, TV (constant sports), when to do laundry, etc. 🥺

[@danielkaiser8971]

Yes. I have heard others describe it as actually reflecting back to you the best, most idealized parts of yourself. When you are initially charmed by a narcissist, you are really just being flattered by the good aspects of yourself and your own personal interests. Some call it "love bombing". And in exchange for this one and sometimes only most flattering bribe, you will get nothing but breadcrumbs from now on and be expected to forever reflect back to the narcissist the reflection of themselves that they want everyone to believe is true about them, even though it is a false self.

[@Hatbox948]

@@danielkaiser8971 So true, and well said.

[@randallblanchard4534]

" ... a childish egocentricity " -- PERFECT ! , but the narcissist ALSO needs a TARGET, so if you remove yourself from the picture, they will seek-out the closest NEW target .

[@DaughterofLivingLight]

Yes. I helped him to improve himself in many ways. I love him unconditionally. He loved me in his limited way with conditions. He didn't like me helping others. He would question why I'd try. I couldn't help it. Id encourage him to pursue his dreams & placed him on a pedestal. I've forgiven him the pains he caused me with his lies & his unfaithfulness. I'm sorry he chose to leave me after 20 yrs of marriage. I still love him I'm just no longer in love with him. I know him as a Covert Narcissist so I pray for him & try to let him know that he isn't abandoned by me as he abandoned me. I hope he will find our Lord Jesus Christ & be Raptured with his parents, his brother and God Willing, my family & I. God Bless Everyone surviving all that these harsh End Time Days force us to try to endure. Ah, I'm so Blessed to have had all I've been Blessed to have experienced. As I know how so many people endure far worse than I have ever had to. Maranatha! I yearn for Home. This Fallen world has caused so many tears... 🔜📯🎺⤴️🧬🌫️ 💓🌎🌏🌍♾️❤

[@secondhorizon]

Person(s) who expose their games and lies.

[@yukio_saito]

So true. I'm good at lie detection, but I no longer point out their lies.

[@Hatbox948]

They don't like being disliked, and get upset if your opinions arent mirrored off of their side.

[@danielkaiser8971]

Very true, but I also believe that a narcissist would prefer being disliked over being seen as irrelevant or inconsequential to someone who had the supply they wanted. EDIT: when you go "no contact" with them.

[@susie2366]

I worked briefly for a raging narcissist business owner. He found at least one person to scream at and/or insult publicly every day. He gave me about a month before my turn came. I didn't say anything, but later I went to his office, resigned and demanded a paycheck for the prior two weeks work. My legs were shaking from fear and anxiety. He tried to talk me out of leaving, but I knew that if I stayed I would just be a more valuable target.

[@valleygirl2530]

I used to think I was unable to “get along” in the workplace. HA. The worst bosses were female lawyers who I ended up telling “never yell at me or verbally abuse me again OR I’ll walk out for good”. And I did walk - because those people did not change.

[@ricardajames5769]

Wow! I had three strikes against since birth. I'm diverse, speak truth, and love. My mother is a narcissist, and we never got along. Thank you for sharing this information 🙏

[@christinelamb1167]

The darkness cannot comprehend the light. We had the same mother!

[@danielkaiser8971]

It took my becoming an adult and moving away from home to begin individuation from my mother, though I was aware from an early age of how sick I felt physically, mentally and spiritually because of her -- compared to everyone else like school teachers, friends of the family, people on TV, etc. It took a long time for me to realize that if people didn't like me, it was because I was mimicking her behaviors. But mostly, I had to be the peacemaker as a child and carry everyone else's anger because my feelings never mattered. Telling the truth was one way for me to get my mother's rage out of my soul.

[@An-mei]

@@danielkaiser8971 You are resilient. I'm grateful you are here.

[@ricardajames5769]

@danielkaiser8971 blessings to you 🙏. I completely understand. I wish you all the best on your spiritual healing journey

[@le_th_]

Right there with you ricardajames5769. I've been no contact since 2004 for these reasons you listed above. I wish you so well!

[@Tilly850]

This is the best description of my Mother I've heard. This is why I am only now developing boundaries. I'm autistic/ADHD and I now know why she never loved me or even could accept me for who I am. I'm all of the things narcissists can't tolerate. She did set me up for a life of struggle and narcissist relationships that were traumatizing and damaging. Thank God I am by nature a person who is stubbornly determined to be self-aware. That alone has saved me.

[@joekido55]

You are not alone!

[@viktorgenkov9359]

same here keep it up! :)

[@viktorgenkov9359]

same here keep it up! :)

[@barbarabof]

Of mine too

[@caragare3214]

Getting even with u

[@wendybond2848]

Egocentric to the point of being childish, Is so apt. You describe them so well, thank you.

[@user-kf3yz7so6q]

So true, they throw their toys out the pram all the time… even at 63 years old🤷🏻‍♀️

[@andrewcawdell]

Being a vegetarian with a narcissist parent can make every family gathering and shared meal a nightmare. They can make you out to be a villain for demanding "special treatment" instead of choosing a menu that everyone can eat. They might even lie and tell you something is vegetarian when it actually contains meat. They will never accommodate your life choices or respect your personal standards. In other words, they can behave exactly as described in the video.

[@danielkaiser8971]

Yes you are exactly correct. I have the same kind of story from the opposite viewpoint. I have had insulin-dependent diabetes for 40+ years, meaning I was diagnosed at age 12. Where narcissists in my past were concerned, they openly bragged about how much effort they took to make "special" foods for me while everyone else got the non-diet food. Back then they thought "diabetics CAN'T have sugar!" Well, the problem was, I didn't have the type of diabetes requiring that kind of diet. My narcissistic mother and relatives were behind it. I have always been made to feel excluded, like an outsider, by the toxic family of origin by means of "being helped" when I didn't need any of it. I was stuck between eating the "special" food I didn't really want, or the "real" (non-diet) food which made me look unappreciative and irresponsible, though I was neither. Just as a side note, I can eat whatever I want so long as I test my levels and give myself the correct amounts of insulin for it, sometimes adding more doses later if necessary. This is what the body would do naturally.

[@emil5884]

@@mbi9005 Damn! I feel so sorry for your daughter.

[@SaltyFloridian]

I usually just pick out the meat or eat around it. No special treatment needed.

[@andrewcawdell]

@@SaltyFloridian In my experience picking out the meat would still be cause for offence, even if done without any verbal comment or complaint. With some narcs any behaviour that does not conform exactly will be used as an excuse to take offence. And they do love to take offence.

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

​@@mbi9005 Maybe she was a vegan narcissist? 😂

[@Xenophanes198]

We had a difference of opinion one night and she created a poll on social media asking "Would you be offended if your bf said this:...." The fact I didnt leave right then and there reveals to me how trauma bonded I was.

[@caragare3214]

Or take they're authority to much

[@rohithreddy75]

Thats stupid

[@LiveforHim73]

They can’t love those that truly love. Love is patient, kind, respectful, calm, and refuses to belittle others, and treats others as equals!

[@josiah5776]

My former father-in-law is a narc. Other than his arrogance, the first red flag I saw was him telling me "Who is filling your head with that stuff?" when I wouldn't go along with his views. Two things stuck me about his statement: 1) His belief that I was incapable of drawing my own conclusions, and 2) That he viewed people as objects to manipulate (i.e. "filling their heads")

[@christinelamb1167]

I had a boyfriend many years ago who used to say that to me whenever I didn't like something he was doing to me. He accused me of "being influenced by your friends", as if I'm not smart enough to figure out for myself if I'm being abused!

[@josiah5776]

@@christinelamb1167 That is exactly how I felt about it. My ex, narc father-in-law's daughter, did the same thing as him. Their arrogant message is "You are too stupid to think for yourself, so I better be the one who puts ideas in your head ... not someone else."

[@An-mei]

This brings back memories. My friends were always faulty, always joked about. They weren't all bad friends.

[@lynnbarry5552]

You describe two of my mother's traits. She essentially viewed me as her own personal creation, and deemed that it was my obligation to her as her daughter to think, feel, like/dislike any thing in the world as long as it was identical to hers. I was nothing more than a blank slate to her, and I spent my life fighting with her so I could differentiate from her and BE WHO I AM. One of the most painful realities for me was that I was such a failure at fulfilling her dreams. She only told me I was loved by her when she was disappointed in me and frustrated that I was not who she needed me to be......"I'm only saying/doing this BECAUSE I LOVE YOU". I'm 78, and still frustrated and hurt that the biggest failed relationship in my life was with my mother, literally right up to and including her death....

[@valleygirl2530]

@@christinelamb1167. OMG - you also dated my ex husband!

[@fitnesssoup7553]

We're supposed to be tolerant of the narcissist's irrationality and intolerance!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I'd prefer the word, aware.

[@fitnesssoup7553]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Awareness is threatening to narcissists for sure!

[@janetmalcolm6191]

Just try to be tolerant it will drive you insane!

[@angelaharris1112]

Uh .. No no nope

[@Fishsticks007]

No! A narcissist will tell you you should tho! I don’t believe they are “good at the core” - so best avoided. No need to “accept” or “tolerate.”

[@MariaSantana-ul5wd]

Yes, indeed. A desperate need to wipe the smile off of your face because of their dysfunctional win-lose behavior.

[@melodysanquist4834]

The worst narcissists will announce themselves to be empaths.

[@annstar2793]

Lol “I’m an empath” was his mantra.

[@melodysanquist4834]

@@annstar2793 A true empath doesn’t have to tell others that they are an empath.

[@Thenextperson]

Yes!!!! My husband!! It’s not funny 😢

[@user-jp1hs6sl3h]

That's what's known as the "dark empath"

[@annstar2793]

@@melodysanquist4834 💯💯💯

[@ak-47intelligence75]

They hate boundaries and I love enforcing them to warn them I am not the target 🎯

[@user-ti8my1rc9k]

thank you SO much for this. i recently suffered the famous narcissistic discard by a friend of 45 years for, not disagreeing, but simply questioning an issue. this is the clarification i sorely needed.

[@sfc5774]

Wow…. I think this may have happened to me recently. A friend of 40+ years took issue with me and I stood firm. It ended in a standoff. I usually don’t engage in arguments but this matter was important to me. We haven’t spoken since. I’m not ruminating over it and I couldn’t care less if it’s the end of a friendship. I was not deserving of the criticism and attack she dished out.

[@quarterlimit5838]

Must be going around. A friend of 17 years attacked everything I was doing in life. I disagreed, told them I was living my life according to how I wanted to, not them, and they could chillax as I would continue to be just fine. Hasn’t spoken to me since. I’d say I miss them, but I don’t. Spent too many years trying to appease the bossiness and I’ve had enough.

[@An-mei]

I think when we finally understand the dynamic we look at those who have surrounded us for years. Chances are you have friends who acted in a way you were comfortable with once but are no longer. You might realize they are conniving behind your back to keep their mask on. That discard is easier because you never had the familial bond and you've realized they never had your interest at heart.

[@laurienordin2076]

had the same thing happen; ex-friend now, but she apparently couldn't take no for an answer in how i wanted to spend my bd, although she agreed she was just like me (this was all said over the phone); then came the phone message that tried to guilt trip me...nope! enjoyed my day!! returned her calls and she hasn't responded back. i asked for a few minutes with her to discuss all this privately in person...no response and no response since. silence tells me Everything!

[@gal1885]

Wow 45 years?! I’m sure you must be hurting, and confused, but when a door closes a better one opens…I think you will vibrate on a higher level now that you’re free of this toxic person, making way for a new positive influence in your life…a friend or otherwise! Keep your chin up!

[@robinsmith4499]

I will never understand their feeling of rejection when individuals around them are being who they were created to be! What a sad world they live in.

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

They want to tear down the good and the true. To call a spade a spade, they're demonic - and want to deprive you of your joy and destroy your light.

[@j7220]

More so it is sad for the rest of us, really

[@carolynbennett2735]

No matter what you do for them, nor how often, it will never be enough. They will always feel rejected! Sadly I am learning this experience.

[@imdrecordings]

I have to imagine a narcissist can't stand another narcissist or perhaps they cancel each other out.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

It becomes like 2 rams butting heads.

[@stevepops4450]

Thanks for that comment/question, and Doctor Carters answer. That scenario was present between my Father and my ex Partner. They at loggerheads was the catalyst that hastened my (partners) relationships demise

[@wyldelf2685]

Both of my siblings are severe narcissist and my mother was a Grandiose Narcissist and oral history shows that our Grandmother was a malevolent narcissist with sadistic tendencies , 🥶😬🥶😔

[@SteeleMagnolia]

The absolute shock on their face, rendering them momentarily speechless, when the walls come down. Priceless

[@pattyaycock5345]

😂😂😂

[@DonkThikkness]

Conditional love is not love, it is control. Control ≠ love. Ever.

[@AspieWise]

I watched a video from a diagnosed narcissist who spoke on being scared/intolerant of autistic people. Mainly because they can’t read the autist (delayed processing plays a big role in this). Can’t break them away from their routines and lifestyles. And def will harshly tell the truth of the patterns they see. Fascinating.

[@mkryu]

Do you know if sociopaths also feel the same way narcissists do about us aspies?

[@lovelyenglishnature3277]

@@mkryuyes definitely. I’ve found in my own life that they have a different reaction to narcissists….I think autistics can spot a sociopath very easily and the sociopath knows. I’m an infj ‘seer of souls’ and there’s no soul to see! But with narcissists (mum and ex husband) they don’t like when I call out their behaviours. Especially now that I’ve educated myself on narcissism. It makes things worse because they become angry and just ramp up the behaviours but I can’t help but speak the truth. The only time I won’t tell the truth is to protect feelings or if I’m in danger.

[@V.Hansen.]

This explains my truth telling immunity. I have to have strong boundaries to cope with life in general an I can not lie to save my life.

[@user-sg3ln2os5t]

Always ignore them and run farrr away from them and try to stay away from them as much as possible!!!! REMEMBER to disconnect both online and offline when dealing with them the no contact method!!!!!

[@yelyab1]

What about when you point out a narcissist is absolutely wrong and it infuriates them to the point that they need retribution. They break things, throw things away, give your personal property away, threaten to hurt you.

[@benbarrett9056]

Psycological laziness, spot on.👍

[@doranmichaelsean]

Perhaps the truth-teller is practicing a virtue which the narcissist palpably lacks

[@mimiashford5544]

#3 is key... if a person IS surrounded by friends, family and associates whom they love & care for and who love & care for them, the narcissist cannot get a 'foothold' because there are too many people involved in the person's life that they would have to contend with. In many ways, the narcissist is very much like a groomer or pedophile in that they search out lonely/abandoned/hurt/damaged/confused/compromised/ people to pounce on and work their evil ways on.... and it can only happen if the 'target' isn't already ensconced in healthy, meaningful relationships. Sad sad sad. They are conniving, manipulative opportunists of the highest order and should be avoided at all costs.

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

Yes, the more alone you are the more susceptible you are to attracting a narc. They have the ability to hone in somehow and say all the right things to get you to spill whatever beans they're interested in - or can be used to their advantage. I have to go around with my jaw wired shut, as I seem to miss the innocuous little questions they somehow insert into the conversation!

[@laurelbarlow5733]

My late stepfather was very intolerant of my differences. I confronted him about it and set boundaries with him. I told him that he had to respect my differences. If he didn’t, I would limit my exposure to him.

[@angelakh4147]

For the first time in our ten-year marriage, I disagreed w/him politically. I haven’t forgotten what he said. “I don’t see how you and I can look at the same event and see two totally different things. That scares me about our future.” He would occasionally tell the truth by accident. This was one of those times. We divorced a year later.

[@liliasgordon3565]

My narc sister called me over to her house the day before I went on holiday. I was "wising up" to her at this point and basically offered little help with her problem as I was going away. She told me that if she had known she would have come with me and I told her that was the reason she wasn't told. The silence was deafening as I took my leave. 🤣

[@Candyliz2003]

Integrity. When you stand firmly in your beliefs (this includes diversity) and still allow others - including the narcissist - to think and express their own beliefs then the reaction I've experienced is that the narcissist feels threatened. Now, I haven't said anything against them, but the fact that I disagree means - to them - that I'm A threat. So, when the narcissist belittles or attacks another person and you don't join in, the narcissist sees you as judging them and even attacking them. Maintain your integrity and you will have narcissists as your enemy.

[@hydrostatic8048]

That dog on couch is living the comfortable lifestyle.

[@tbunnyshy1]

Truth tellers and fixers. In other words, people that want to make things right and improve life for everyone.

[@yukio_saito]

⚠ I carefully choose who to tell the truth.

[@lishmahlishmah]

Definitely the fixers. As for the truth tellers, they know how to cut them out. In my case, my narcissists couldn't tolerate the fixers or someone who potentially can become a fixer .... And unfortunately I am a fixer, too... Always looking for fixing methods....

[@lishmahlishmah]

Always looking for fixing methods for everyone and everything, working together... Until I found out the narcissistic disorder and that I can't fix a narcissistic disorder... . I can just protect myself from more growing damages...

[@lishmahlishmah]

Still bruised and in pain, now I'm even starting to joke about it a bit... But for me it was something to go crazy about. In short, if there is a solution _there_ and another _there_ and another one _there_... Why don't you want all of us to get better???? Now I have the answer. Narcissists don't want people to get better, and whether they have to put up with something slightly uncomfortable for themselves they still put up with it , to make sure that others are *very badly* off. Two goals for them; the narcissist can act as a victim and, at the same time, they can keep under control the people they have destroyed. Thanks Heaven, at last (dr Ramani + dr Carter) gave me a validation of what I've seen hundreds of times... Otherwise my mind still would kept wandering and looking for the _why_ , while feeling myself terribly guilty for I was not able to find a good solution for the narcissists' point of view. Therefore they blamed me (and all the world), of course.

[@tbunnyshy1]

@@yukio_saito 🎯❤️

[@myhalowithin]

1. A person that one ups them or is also, a know-it-all. 2. People that are "too curious" has follow-up questions about their answers! If they hear, "Hey, didn't you say?" Well, the npd's know this person can expose them, and that has to be shut down, or the distance happens from the liar, fast. I must add 3 more: 3. Those that won't wear the mask(s) the npd, made for us to wear, too! 4. Those that laugh at them, won't be forgotten too soon. Correction - yikes! Anyone that might embarrass or humiliate them, (real or imagined). 5. Anyone that we like. I hope to God, if all possible in this earth for someone to come to the knowledge of help and hope for these people, and other's deemed non-curable. I hope those that tend to alter by means of chemicals, this season... Won't. Alright... at least, cut it way down. Be Sober of Mind and Body. (They like it when people get that upset). Merry Christmas to us and our families! Protect them and yourself... Okay? Okay! 💌Dr. Carter: It didn't take long to come up with several for the npd. 🎭 I've been thinking on my own too🎯 I know this holiday season is challenging, and know that drinking or any alterations of our behavior or thinking, may not be the best thing to give in to. My nex hoped people would participate in altered spirits... to use against them later. Learned so much w/ you and TH. So.... Thank you, Dr. Les Carter.🧩🖼 edit add on: Thank you Team Healthy💔❤‍🩹🤍

[@Greenawareness188]

Thanks !

[@melb2734]

"I'm a very loving person*" *If you can manage to meet all my conditions and if you even come close, I'll add some more.

[@Beach_JT]

This explains exactly how my ex passive aggressive narc justified her behavior. Years of me trying to sit down in a calm setting to discuss issues and fights and was met with stonewalling. So much silence during our fights it was insanity. These thoughts were so pervasive I couldn’t break through. So I had to break free. Thanks Dr C. It does get better in time…

[@kellykajander3115]

👍🌻🌹STONEWALLING IS JUST A PHYCHO CONTROL TOOL THEY USE...THEY ABUSE U ALONE WHEN NO 1 CAN C IT ...I USED 2 PIK UP THE PHONE ASKING NARC SHALL WE C WHAT VICTIMS ASSISTANCE THINKS OF YOUR ACT??..THEY ABUSE PPL IN SECRET...PREPARE 2 B ABANDONED ONCE U R ON 2 THEM U R THE NEW VILLAIN..WHO WAS IT B 4 HEY? OH YA THE BODIES PILE UP IN THIER LIFE..BECUZ WITH AN IDIOT NARC THAT'S YOUR CRUEL CHOICE..B ABUSED OR B ABANDONED & U R THE NEW VILLAIN THEY USE 2 COAX PITY FROM THIER NEW TARGETS ...I CHOSE 2 DISCARD THE NARC MYSELF...I BARELY GOT BY I WAS TRAPPED AT HOME NO SUPPORT NO FAMILY NO FRIENDS & SUFFERING FROM THE ABUSE & I WAS SO BROKEN😕😵..SADLY A COMMON SITUATION.. EVENTUALLY THINGS TURNED AROUND IN THE BEST WAY 4 ME & MY LITTLE DOG BECUZ I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE 4 US..NARC ALMOST RAN OVER MY SCOOBIE DOO..NOT SO SURE HE WASN'T TRYING 2 DO IT ON PURPOSE BUT JUST MISSED😢..THAT WAS THE DAY I SAW THAT EVIL IDIOT HAD 2 B DISCARDED & BTW SUMTIMES "THEY R LOOKING 4 U 2 DISCARD THEM" ONCE THEY HAVE A NEW TARGET..THEY R VERY MANIPLULATIVE...BUT ITS ACTUALLY "THIER NASTY DISCARD THRU MANIPULATION" NARC WAS PURE TRASH HE WAS & STILL IS 2 THIS DAY..NO CHANGE..JUST A LOSER...CHANGING JOBS HOMES DASHING OUT IN RENT & HYDRO BILLS/FAST COMPANY HES ALWAYS CYCLING THRU VICTIMS..HE SHOPS 4 NEW TARGETS ON FACEBOOK OF COURSE LIES PUTS HIS OWN PICTURE OF HIMSELF 2 ADVERTISE HES SAYS HE'S SINGLE WHEN HE'S LEGALLY MARRIED... SUCH AN IDIOT HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED 2 GET DIVORCED 2 MOVE ON 2 A NEW VICTIM.. HE HAS NO SHAME...NO MORALS

[@beadingbelle3486]

'I couldn't break through, so i had to break free'... Brilliant! That's exactly what i had to do. I had to leave someone behind who sadly couldn't see it, was blinded to the truth & was too entrenched in it, but that was his choice.

[@TheMazinoz]

The one I'm dealing with currently - a neighbour either stonewalls or is exceedingly aggressive. Unfortunately there are issues we are sometimes needing to discuss. I've been threatened with police reports for non existent crimes, but if I avoid or ignore them they then come after me and try to engage. Crazy making!

[@UGLY-MONEY17]

I’m trying to get out of that exact situation right now. It’s exhausting

[@sallyoakes7709]

Yes!! If I ever disagree with ANYthing, or have a different experience, it's seen as somehow being disloyal and rejecting them personally and not just having a different experience.

[@janetmalcolm6191]

I was told you shouldn't have your own ideas just the ones I taught you. These ideas I did not like!

[@cherobinson6371]

I have a birthmark that covers half my face and is a automatic target/ mag for Narcissistic. What theynloath is I haven’t let it stop me from living a full and healthy life. Married,kids,grandkids,businesses,College degree’s,Fit AF etc all that and I’m the one thing they never have been. Happy.

[@pattyaycock5345]

I have UNFORTUNATELY SPENT 25 YEARS dealing with a family member whom Destroyed my Family.. and wasted all our time not understanding and trying to figure out all her monster Lies and conniving stories. My Son finally divorced her and died a year later from a Heart Attack… which created a total nightmare for his 2 kids, my daughter and myself. My son was the gentle Soul, BUT the DAMAGE she created had ALREADY Been Done! She DIED last summer by Alcoholism. THANK YOU, you hit the nail on the Head PERFECTLY ‼️ I hope your Post helps ANYONE!! We had NO CLUE ABOUT WHAT a NARCISSIST IS and CAPABLE OF!!

[@zp5808]

Transparency in communications. That is their greatest fear. If they cannot triangle in communication because you tell them to get together with the people they talk you about and speak openly so every person affected by the talks gets the information and can immediately react. They'll shit their pants because they could get exposed immediately.

[@danielkaiser8971]

Yes, and you also reminded me of my narcissistic mother. She hated transparency in communications. She wanted you to know only her version of reality. And it might be somewhat different than what she told someone else, but perhaps not "too" different. It was against her rules for us to talk about it with other people including family. One way she curbed people's tendency for transparency and truth-seeking was that she manufactured complete accounts of a situation from every possible angle where a question might be asked. She did this so that there would be NO questions, NO loose ends to tie, and NO NEED to ask anyone else about it. When she wanted to reinvent reality, she did so in a way that left a person feeling like they knew everything they needed to know, so very informed and feeling important. But it was all manipulation.

[@V.Hansen.]

Exactly. They rely on your integrity and your discretion. They tell a different story everywhere and once it’s exposed they freak out.

[@seascape185]

That’s my oldest son in a nutshell.! Thank you . He and I have not gotten along for the past 8 years . But if I’m honest I just bent into a pretzel as I was raising him and as he’s grown married having babies it’s gotten ridiculous. To the point I asked if we could go to therapy to learn how to communicate lol. Because even though I know I’m more reasonable he laughed said no just be nice. Well I’m his parent and he doesn’t like that. Anyway I’ve been treated like crap long enough . Ma other son sees it. I have 2 other sons and it’s very different .However this year I stopped holidays fortunatley I have an illness and blamed it on that.i am enjoying my peace now I’m 68!

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My narcissistic dad expects the world to revolve around his sole convenience, his family(not all are like him!) He gives me excuses for not doing things. His problem, not mine. I am not impressed by his garbage/lies!

[@TheMrdoc26]

What just about took me over the edge was the constant barbs jabs insults constant criticism…all this with children around. there is no way to answer or respond in this situation.. The mother of this person loved to say you mis-perceived me.. then on and on how it’s because you didn’t grow up right. As one of the councilors said even cheat on you in front of family children too and go around telling all who will listen in how it was not there fault. Absolutely wild wild accusations that are so far out there. Constant control thru manipulations and say you control and manipulate. All they have left when you bring up truth with proof they call you a liar. When they are on the ropes she cries. At any point in this stuff they are trying to get you to say wait this hurt me.. here they say …you think it’s all about you!! My last words here was.. wholly Crad yes this is about me here. I decide how my hurt is not you. There has been no contact since then.

[@MichelleLee-bg2bu]

Im in this now, married 14 years and just now realizing my husband is a covert narcissist, its beyond heartbreaking, im in a constant state of anxiety. Hes giving me the silent treatment right now, its been days, but at this point, i dont want to talk to him. But its so uncomfortable being stuck in a home with someone like this, i can feel the hate coming off of him. Hes in control of the finances too, i haven't worked in years because of how bad my mental and physical health has become. Its from chronic stress. I have no support

[@liliasgordon3565]

So sorry for your situation and wish I could help. 😢 Hope you find a light at the end of the tunnel. ♥️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@MichelleLee-bg2bu]

@@liliasgordon3565 thank you 💜🙏💜

[@greggood4772]

Time to be independent, sell items around the house, get a job, build a nest egg, plan an exit strategy, pay yourself, be free and happy

[@mre9208]

Some Narcissists can claim truth and diversity as their values yet their actions illustrate that they are rigid and fearful.

[@An-mei]

My gut says someone who wants to help the situation.

[@bradconfer7065]

Been dealing with a narcissist (i'm only now seeing it) for 19 years. It's as if every interaction takes something from me. Everything she does is designed to solicit a response. Anyway I just started this video and I just need to get this out of my head and into writing as I untangle the knots in my mind. Never thought I'd find "people who understand what I'm going through" in youtube comments but here we are. And thank you so much to Dr. Carter and everyone who takes time to comment and respond. It has helped me so much these past couple days.

[@laurenlowery5799]

I finally stood up to my sister and told her we were done. She has been so abusive and cruel and I kept forgiving her because I didn't want to cut off family. The last thing she accused me of did it. Then she tried every manipulative way posible to lure me back. Not this time. So she called my brother and told him I'd done something she could never forgive me for. I told the truth!! Thats what she cant forgive me for. So glad I cut ties with the crazy maker. My life is peaceful now and without drama, bold faced lies and cruelty. It's heaven.

[@christinat56]

I love your quote “self esteem is not built at the expense of others”

[@jodiworth6402]

My ex once yelled at me, “You empaths and the need for the truth!” Shocked me because I had never called myself an empath. But he was right, I am one and I do need the truth.

[@remhk6672]

I coldly shut down a narcissist coworker.😂 They gaslit me, thought they could manipulate and maneuver around me and allowed themselves to let their guard down by asking me highly personal questions. I responded "thats highly personal and i prefer you not ask me that again." The next day ,i asked them, "how are you feeling today?". Theyve been avoiding me ever since!😂

[@karmadog4565]

Exactly what my husband has gone through with his father. So sad, but my husband is better off without this toxic relationship (that's what he has said).

[@danielkaiser8971]

Truth be told, everyone is better without a toxic relationship. They need to get out of the toxic environment so that healing can begin. The moment they get a taste of feeling better, all kinds of truth occurs to them about how toxic the situation was.

[@karmadog4565]

@@danielkaiser8971 this is so true!

[@LiveforHim73]

Says he loves… NOT ! The Ego is in the way. It’s conditional for him. He’ll love bomb you as long as you agree. Which is fake love. Says he’s not angry…. If his outburst twirling in circles is not anger. I’d hate to see his anger. Since there was a family disagreement he’s not spoke since. It’s all conditional for him. You’re are only his family if you believe everything he says and demands.

[@dianekyle5514]

INDIVIDUALS WITH INTEGRITY INDIVIDUALS WITH A CONSCIENCE

[@paulblyde2175]

Called my stepfather out at Christmas about 10 years ago over something he fabricated...had support from in laws and wife on calling him out. It didn't go down well at all for him...we haven't spoken since, he kept my mother away from me and didn't tell me when she passed away. My life is still better than ever because of that day I told him what was what. Sad about mum but she chose her path, I made it clear that I was still there for her but sadly he had her completely controlled.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

Yep, my narcissistic mother did not let me talk to my dad before he died. All because I did not give her control over my bank account. :( She panicked that her narcissistic supply was dying.... and wanted me to be the new supply. Pathologic narcissist. :( I've since found out she did a lot of sociopathic things after I left the house (I left after high school..... never went back.). She was evil incarnate. I am no-contact since last fall. Life is so much BETTER, except for the occasional flying monkey hoover attempt.

[@jeannedouglas9912]

Before listening to this podcast I'm gonna guess it's truth tellers and those that are genuinely happy.

[@jeannedouglas9912]

Got it half right.😊

[@danielkaiser8971]

Yay! 😃Such good answers!