20 Harsh lessons I learned at 38 but wish I knew at 20

[@danirogerc]

1) No one is coming to save you: life is consistency 2) A good relationship takes sacrifices 3) Building wealth is about owning assets: real estate, equity 4) Pros and cons don't work, what will you regret not doing? 5) Health is the main priority, not aesthetic 6) Black swans happen 7) Don't be afraid to change 8) Be able to lose your old self 9) Lifetime learning 10) Don't blame others, learn to work around, how did your actions contribute to this? 11) Grass always looks greener 12) Try and fail 13) Be the partner that you want to have 14) No one thinks about you as much as you 15) All your actions compound over time 16) Internet keeps lifetime archive 17) Fuel your body accordingly (food choices) 18) Shed people 19) Wedding is for a day, marriage is for life 20) Control your reaction to outcomes and events

[@lisashikuku]

thank you

[@imenebni5854]

Thank you 🙏

[@funnygirlever]

❤

[@lighteningsnips]

Thank you 😊

[@Taylor086]

THANK YOU! 😀

[@alinabelousova]

I wish I knew in my 20s that "done is better than perfect".

[@Manila-wo3pi]

I agree, was such a big lesson for me too.

[@LilXancheX]

Thank god I’m still in my 20’s. Y’all old af

[@JoshDelaCruz-p6m]

Well said.

[@HerNewHabits]

After 3 years of marriage I've come to the conclusion that comparing your relationship with others is a waste of time. Everyone is different and as you said, everyone creates their own boundaries. My partner and I create a unique union that will never be the same as other couples in social media or even real life. Thanks for sharing this! I love your videos!

[@MsPinkyyy717]

Do you mind giving examples of what you mean by creating a unique union?

[@JenniferAguilera]

thats super beautiful! and honestly a really important lesson and learning that i feel we need to implement more of. comparison robs us of the beauty to actually CREATE and shape our own relationships into whatever we want them to be. 💗

[@jonesmorales-tu6kq]

You shouldn't even look at social media . It's cancer

[@rickysampson8759]

Nah leave them. There’s always someone better

[@originaloffical]

@@rickysampson8759 Hopefully take half and monkey branch! Monkey branch to being the next multi millionaire! Female logic!

[@mindy1670]

Lesson I learned over the years "stop looking for yourself in others"

[@joyfullysimple]

Wonderful video. We are about the same age (I am 37) and I agree with all of these. Another one I want to add is: You are responsible for your own happiness. You cannot expect your partner, friends, family or children to make you happy.

[@ya9321]

The "no one is coming to save you" hit me hard. I'm 26 and in my culture I should've been married but I'm not. A man is expected to take care of the woman which I am not against but when you also tie in the the factor that marriage is lifelong and not just a wedding night , you realize being with a partner that you actually see eye to eye with is hard. I am now going to be going back to school for my masters in counseling and aiming for a career to take care of myself.

[@JenniferAguilera]

good luck with your masters!!!! 💗

[@ya9321]

@@JenniferAguilera oh thank you🥹🤍

[@JenniferAguilera]

@@ya9321 absolutely!!! 💗

[@armyengene888]

Are you Indian?

[@random_person_on_internet]

Don't worry Everything is gonna be alright 😊 Just focus on living rather than fitting into stereotypes made by society Remember marriage was invented for women to help them survive in a world where it was very tough for a woman to survive without a man But now things are not that bad,women can survive on their own so prioritize your wellbeing and never ever forget to LIVE your life fully I am not saying just avoid marriage as plague 😂 Just saying try to remember not everyone gets the chance to survive and live in this world,so don't take this chance for granted😊

[@YJo1223]

"No one thinks about you as much as you think about yourself"

[@PerryNight-gc3fp]

Right

[@mindful_wander]

It's funny how all of these lessons can sometimes seem so obvious. Maybe because of social media and the internet, it feels like we've heard them all in one form or another. But sometimes we're not ready to fully receive any particular piece of advice and it just bounces off of us at the moment. What makes videos like this helpful is that they serve as a reminder. Maybe someone found this video at just the right time or one the lessons popped out at them at a particularly relevant point in life. By the way, I just made a video very similar to this, so I'd love to hear if any of those life lessons have impacted your life as well. Great vid Poppy.

[@NoneYa-pg6dk]

The opportunities will arise when it is time. -work hard, but don’t beat yourself up to achieve your goals. You’ll own that house or that car as long as you continue to make conscious decisions. You don’t have to have those things all at once. Trust yourself is the key to peace. -do not rely on what you have, income, status, job title, etc. to define who you are. Trust that whatever comes your way, you will figure it out.

[@reinventingpoppy]

Love these thanks for sharing!

[@YJo1223]

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. -i felt that.

[@tina8796]

The biggest mistakes I've ever made in life are the ones where I listened to other people telling me what they think I should do and I listened for some bizarre reason. And it cost me big time. Nobody knows what's best for you except you.

[@marinelalarsen3736]

No one is coming to save you but many people will help. No one is going to do the job for you, but there will be people who will support you on your journey.

[@mindful_wander]

beautifully put!

[@GigaChad_169]

The compounding effect can’t be underestimated. Im turning 40 this year and it’s quite apparent the compounding effects of people’s life choices my age and the positions it lands them in life.

[@Bat_Boy]

Effort doesnt always equal success

[@flourishwithzel]

Hello dear, I just would like to thank you for sharing these content with us. At 33, whenever I listen to motivational talks don’t inspire or motivate me anymore, unlike when I was in my 20’s where I get inspired and start going for my dreams. However now in my 30’s, nothing excites me anymore. I learned that learning new things, and other people’s stories inspire me more to create my own, and to rediscover myself and what I love to do. Knowing more about myself, and the purpose of my life keeps me going more than aspiring to become rich and successful. I don’t know.. but I just became lowkey and relaxed nowadays, simple things make me happy. Oh and I don’t have a partner yet, but somehow I’m still at peace and happy I have so much time to do all the things I wanna do and just focus on becoming a better version of me. I realized that before someone commits to me, I must commit to myself first. Your videos help me realize these things. Thank you for doing what you do. ❤

[@Uncommony]

Best thing I learned is that not everything is possible but so so much is possible. Stay Uncommon!

[@snobgoblinDK]

This was the kick in the butt I needed today. Thank you! And I have come to the same conclusions just turning 40 💪🏻

[@pamfan221]

It's a humble admission of yours that in the past, you expected romantic overtures from your partner while not stepping up equally to do the same. It's something we, as women, are conditioned to expect -- to always be the recipients of these lovely gestures. And the occasional unexpected gift IS lovely! But it's absolutely poor taste to keep upholding a higher standard for your partner than you yourself can satisfy. I try to be very aware of this in my personal life, and it's good to see you share this so others can be aware too.

[@ComedorDelrico]

I am in my mid 40's and I think all of these lessons are absolutely spot-on. Well said.

[@northguy2367]

Poppy - very happy to see your new 'life reflections' videos are getting you the following that you deserve.

[@reinventingpoppy]

Hey there, thank you! I think the universe listens when doing what feels right. Hope you're doing good!

[@ko_grindz]

I’m in my twenties trying to embrace everything I have in the moment. Making the best out of my twenties is so important. Your video gives me that motivation❤

[@reinventingpoppy]

I'm so happy to hear that - thank you!

[@IAmChosen9925]

Life is a journey... Embrace everything, the good and the bad life will be worth living.

[@MusafirnabikNabik]

Someone can help me,,?

[@MusafirnabikNabik]

77

[@sathomas7]

I wish I knew that it takes more than love to sustain a healthy relationship. You have to truly do the work for yourself.

[@sereneshen6576]

Thanks for sharing these honest truth❤. Recently a lot of things has been happening in my life and i really need some encouragement in an honest way rather than saying honey coated words.

[@astrostar49]

Hey boss. Thanks for another biscuit of wisdom. I think a lot of us folks feel just a tad bit more courageous, and maybe even invincible with your insight in our pocket. Happy weekend. Already looking forward to the next video :D

[@jasminehammond3313]

That no one is coming to save you!! Hit different this morning 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾

[@mayangoddess9949]

You are absolutely correct about FRIENDS. Because FRIENDSHIP is NOT a one- way street. Where you are always the only one who is expected to initiate the relationship. Because of course, they view themselves as SUPERIOR to you, or they believe that they're living at some other LEVEL Therefore, you must always be the one to BOW DOWN, or reach out and UP to them. Honestly, I don't ven view such acquaintances as friendships. Period.

[@reinventingpoppy]

Girl exactly!

[@Uma.May1]

I agree, definitely better to try and fail than not at all. Love this video Poppy. Hope you’re settling in well 😘

[@reinventingpoppy]

Hey it's getting easier as the week goes by. Hope you enjoyed the video hun, thanks!

[@shanaj74]

Thanks for being here and sharing valuable lessons. It’s a good reminder. Sometimes we have done the work and are doing the work but we still need to change our mindset to positive. Make changes if need be but keep pressing forward. And find the positive if you are doing the work. Appreciate the things you are doing and have already done. 💕

[@reinventingpoppy]

Absolutely!

[@LenaelleCalas]

Me remembering nearly all the bags from the jag collection in LYXBAG other apartment on the dimond tray.. I think i watched that video like 40 times. Purse collection goals..

[@TruthFinder7839]

You have good common sense and have great advice. I would add learning to live with less, and don’t try to impress others, be focused on health, and gaining experiences and not trying to just gain with money in the bank, money won’t keep you happy, you’ll need to find happiness within yourself.finding a partner isn’t a popularity contest, be authentic and find just one that is the one who wants you, that’s the right one for you. At 68 now I finally am living the life I want, even my ex and I love each other and are better friends than husband and wife. I’ll travel the world and have a better last one third of my life than the first two thirds. ❤🙏😊

[@paulmagson]

You're not wrong hun have definitely felt the heartless aspect of poor or rich peoples cruelty of greed and fakeness

[@jonpauldelange]

Wonderful insights! But why did you call them harsh truths? May I suggest #21? Remember to integrate your wins and give yourself grace. Integrating your wins improves confidence and empowers you to reach for more. Giving yourself grace is so important when things don't go as expected. I wish I'd had the insights in my 30s that you have now (and really lived by them). You're exactly where you need to be in your life right now, and on your way to the next best version of yourself. Enjoy the ride. Based on what I've seen in your content, you're doing great! 🎉 P.S. Thanks for the SkillShare suggestion! 🙏🏼😊

[@reinventingpoppy]

Thank you for the 21st tip! 🙌 And I do agree, appreciating the wins and giving yourself grace is certainly something we all should learn to do more. I'm trying to practice gratitude every night before bed and that's kind of my version of integrating the the daily wins and it really helps me having a better mindset about the day and gives me strength to deal with the next 😃

[@jonpauldelange]

@@reinventingpoppy I so agree. Having an attitude of gratitude - even for the things that don't go well - makes a big difference. What a wonderful practice to have at the end of the day. 👏🏼 If you haven't seen Wayne Dyer's talk about programing our subconscious mind, you might enjoy this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gafWXpJoZ9GqoKMsi=CV3ZlHFgWogTs-my 😊

[@alinerichter]

Thankss! You gave me some very important fundamental aspects and advice for life. I recently realized I need a big change and in order to change I need to let go of things. Thanks to your insights I regained motivation in order to do so and become the main character in my own life again!! 😊

[@daniellem.gibson4658]

Don’t stress so much, things have a way of working themselves out.

[@cherrymaesubong9813]

Im turning 35 this year but still on the way on how to deal with things in life, its difficult but will go through it.

[@SistemAX-21]

hi Ms. Poppy, i am junaidi, i am writing this from Pontianak, west kalimantan, indonesia. I agree with your statement that consistency is key to extraordinary effect (no. 15 compounding effect). Thank you for sharing, may God bless you as always.

[@shaniisewongchiu]

Just wanna say that I really love your advice. It’s realistic and authentic. Thank you ☺️

[@danakuoch6221]

Thank for the video. It helps me a lot on the decision dilemma. lesson learnt "Pros and Cons list are useless when it comes to life decisions"

[@nigelfisher3756]

Wise words lady. I think lots of ladies expect special, entitled treatment without thinking about reciprocating….

[@nari1071]

38 😦 i dunno about u guys but she looks 27

[@shawanasaddiq]

Yes I agree

[@bugra320]

makeup

[@FakeJake5843]

It's the Asian genes

[@alwaysdisney2665]

@@bugra320 she looks even younger without make up lol didnt you watch the clips?

[@bugra320]

@@alwaysdisney2665 no she doesnt

[@mirouu13]

Big thing was for me to go my own way. I was thinking whole world is about those people who was around me.

[@reinventingpoppy]

Absolutely!

[@CorreaBusquets]

As a 25 year old watching this I feel kind of underestimated by being told this is the novel advice I need for my 20s…

[@THTech000]

She is speaking the truth here

[@mr.seanster]

Very good lessons. I agree with many. I am at a different stage in life. I love to hear your late 40s video some day.

[@Pharaoh_The_Great]

Fake it til you make it… don’t ever show your cards. 🃏 Instagram is a prime example. Everyone looks happy, taking trip pics and looking rich.

[@Bobcoolyoung]

Sad to burst your bubbles, but for your benefit, it has to be said. Instagram is not the prime example of optimum/grand/fulfilling life experiences. Because those who fake it to make it on the Instagrams of the world continue to fake it for the rest of their lives. There's no peace or fulfilment in that. When you think about life, think long-term not short-term and you'll be happier.

[@Michael-x9b7t]

True. I know a girl who has tons of followers, and posts amazing videos on Instagram which make her look beautiful and rich, when in reality she's poor and unattractive.

[@sandhiyar8763]

I just love all the points you had mentioned! worth watching this & thanks a ton for posting this !

[@reinventingpoppy]

You're so welcome and glad it was helpful!

[@yashodararajapakse3181]

Great content Poppy.. as always 😍

[@reinventingpoppy]

Thank you!! 😁

[@dachicagoan8185]

The great recession taught me this when I lost my job and had to rely on food pantries to survive. Meanwhile my family in another state knew what I was going through and didn't lift a finger to help

[@mattwinick7659]

Great video! Also I liked some of the advice. I myself with autism including a learning disability including cognitive disability where I struggle to fit into society, get bullied by other people for my struggles with a disability, and many others. In life I struggle with friendships because many people ghost me or ignore me and put me down. Also I struggle with my disability in a work place due to having trouble at fast pace and understanding how to do a task efficiently where it causes people to be easily flustered with me despite me working for 10 years including trying my best to be hard worker. Also I got an associate's degree with a liberal arts from a community college where it is hard for me to find a job that pays well or have benefits because many jobs require a higher education. I do some volunteering to help feed homeless people including people who are low income get food or other essential items as a way for me to learn about society, social justice, and the importance of helping people when they have struggles. Also I have struggles with having a connection with girls because I get made fun of for being different or having a disability. The best thing that I can do in society is be creative at learning, taking the time to volunteer, use critical thinking to help me learn different things, and many others.

[@Sincerely_SweetAesthete]

Did we just become best friends? Lol i am married happily for almost 10 years but I can so relate! Youre so right! Comparison is the thief of joy!!

[@anjalivs4517]

We are doing too much of everything & resting less. Being content should also be a part of life. Learning skills all the time & adding chaos to life is also less spoken.

[@JenniferAguilera]

thank you for sharing 💗 lets get our dream lifes yall

[@teamsheilablessings.6076]

Oh Wow! 😳 I love ❤this message 🙏. I am glad that am your age mate and ready to listen 👂🏿 to this powerful podcast 💪. Thank you God 🙏 and for sharing this powerful message 🙏 today.

[@djceddy6945]

Thanks for making us be real. Love it Poppy. Its kiff.

[@Willa4420]

Very very good video. Thank you for letting Younger women know this. I wish I knew this and I am older than you. No one told me anything.

[@berguzarkorel5350]

It is great that you figured out the health priority so earlier in your life

[@birdsfairytales]

This was lovely to watch, thank you for sharing!

[@GoodVibesOnly76]

Thank you Poppy !

[@reinventingpoppy]

Anytime ❤️

[@greywolf4784]

wish all u want. but each one has his/her own journey. and the best way to start living is not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today.

[@carolinlovelifecoach]

Great lessons. I´m 50 plus and I think it's great if we can share life advice

[@dcro9903]

You are a smart and wise young woman; your lessons are well reasoned .

[@Kaymitlit]

This video is perfect and straight to the point thank you very much 💖

[@DEAN_23]

One lesson I learnt is quite simply, not everyone is truly on your side. Some are there for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. It's up to you to determine which is which....

[@reinventingpoppy]

couldn't agree more!

[@cheekymonkeygirl3378]

Omg, I'm the same age as you and I thought the same! No one is coming to save you! 😢

[@M.Sweatha]

Me being a soon 26 year old adult,feeling behind my peers and wasted my entire youth with no talent and overwhelmed to restart my life😢 kindly do comment, if you have something to tell me ❤

[@Kaymitlit]

You are not behind focus on you and what’s important you will get there 💖

[@M.Sweatha]

@@Kaymitlit Thank u so much for your kind words 💛 God bless u 🙏

[@nia.gregory]

You are still young. Start the life you want to live right now. I am almost 38 and my youth was wasted. I have to start over in certain ways too.

[@M.Sweatha]

@@nia.gregory thank u nia💛

[@DNA350ppm]

All your life-experience up to now, have prepared you for what is ahead of you. Think about the lessons you've learned. Be brave and take new steps towards what really matters for you! The word "talent" is a trap. Clear misson, grit, humility to learn and improve and change, being mindful about where to put in one's energy, and what to let go - these are better assets than talent. Keep an out-look for a mentor, which even could be a video or a book to start with. If you procrastinate, baby-steps are the way out of the rut, and not over-thinking (self-criticizing) too big. Sometimes breaking down tasks into five minute portions release the overwhelm-blockades - you don't need to like that little portion, just do it, if you know it would be more meaningful than doing nothing, and you do know it. OK? Feelings are not our best guides, but our core values are. Write your core values, for example on your bathroom mirror, and do smile and nod when you read them, do say Yes! aloud. You are not quite adult, yet, and needn't be. For many the best years come after 50, but don't drag your feet, just because of that statistic. Allow yourself to be fully alive, just as you are in this phase of your life. Ask yourself what that would mean, make a guess, and try it out. You can do it - keep guessing and trying, the picture of who you are, what you want, what you are capable of, it all gets clearer, by and by. And then it also might change when needs be. All the best wishes. Thank you for opening up to asking for suggestions. One day you are going to be a very good mentor yourself, with that honest and open mindset!

[@bhonorable_]

My favorite life rule no. 12 better try and fail than live in regrets

[@jeanedeviller5670]

Love all your content. More power to you❤️

[@RealBoravann]

Appreciated and thank you for sharing ❤

[@foolproofmethods]

Im also in my 38.. good info..

[@mrbHanoi]

I figured this out at 33 Changed countries and jobs at 33. From 37 to 47 made my first million. For 99%,your family or friends or job is not going to save you. Time to try something new.

[@joshwim8]

Needed this today ❤

[@TheRaiderman1]

When you threw away all those guys that came to save you in your youth, we got the message and we leave you alone.

[@reinventingpoppy]

Nope Thailand :)

[@Charlieable]

Spot on. Enjoyed your vlog.

[@reinventingpoppy]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@nana.8509]

Me too realized that you see bad side of others when u stop giving. From family, friends to maid 😅. Nothing is free in this world

[@oszrajah6472]

Thank you for this Poppy! 😊

[@reinventingpoppy]

You're welcome!

[@JediPhantom]

Both my family and God have saved me multiple times over.

[@Olivia-jpa]

Thank you for these. ❤

[@zaviertankwa4835]

Thanks for the advices. It Is very helpful for me

[@mikef2811]

When I was four, I learn that Life is Cruel...that was the year I watch my family buried my mother.

[@JosephLee2012]

I am very sorry to hear this. I will offer a quick prayer for your peace.

[@PerryNight-gc3fp]

You're right life is cruel

[@amonratchaingam8404]

Love your video and I also watched other videos of you, you mentioned living in Thailand before, are you Thai? ❤

[@reinventingpoppy]

คนไทยค้า 😊

[@amonratchaingam8404]

@@reinventingpoppy ว่าแล้วเชียว ☺️ ชอบเนื้อหา และะโทนเสียงมากเลยคะ

[@RealandRelatablePodcast]

Love your videos babe ❤ keep up the great work

[@paolaanimator]

I learned the hard way in my 20s not to put my eggs in one basket, or basically relying only on one job. I had plans of saving up by staying at the job for a certain number of years, only to be suddenly laid off. Now I work a job plus a side hustle, and I plan on doing more side gigs online so if I'm ever laid off again, I want to be my own boss, have flexible time and still make money, as well as take my time and pick a better job with no rush.

[@romansoehuazelei1925]

Absolutely right. I agree

[@산림치유]

Thank you!

[@Chb342]

You’re 38 and glowing ✨

[@Alexander-rn7pv]

Thank you for this vlog👍

[@brandonhoang3771]

Very wise and on point!

[@reinventingpoppy]

Thank you!

[@travelwithedz]

“You do you”. ❤

[@dovgurewicz]

Awesome stuff thank you

[@penguinvic9892]

I wish, as a man, that in my 20s I had realised that what women say they want and what they really want are often two completely different thing … and more importantly … Go where you’re wanted, not necessarily where members of the opposite gender are. The difference is subtle but total. And … A one % advantage is often a 100 % of the difference or outcome.

[@dianezielinski6664]

Excellent advice, new subscriber 🎉❤

[@reinventingpoppy]

Thanks for subbing!

[@victorcretu7741]

I knew these things at 20. However, our lives are rather driven by the choices we made than things we did not know.

[@Jen281]

Choice is an illusion

[@Mr.Be93]

There's a reason why you learned those lessons at 38 and not 20. You did not learn those things at 20 because you weren't ready to learn them at 20. You did not at that time possess knowledge, experience, nor did you put in the process and change your vibrational frequency at that age to know the things you know now. You know and have learned them now (at 38) because you are ready to learn them now. Not 10 years from now and certainly not 20 years ago. This type of mindset can often leave a person in resentment over what hasn't been learned or experienced in the past. Life doesn't work this way. So, be at peace knowing that you are experiencing and learning exactly what you are supposed to and this is based on the daily process that you engage in, which shifts your vibration in the direction that you wish to go. Good luck.

[@Jen281]

She didn’t put in the process and change her vibrational frequency? What a condescending comment

[@nagarajuthota7008]

Agreed. But the reason why many feel “I wish….” is mankind cannot be young forever or at least till the end. With age the ability to do things will decline, so as accomplishments.

[@WildandAwake]

Omg you’re in your late 30’s?! You look healthy and fabulous 🤙🏼

[@reinventingpoppy]

Thanks hun 😘

[@seymorefact4333]

i tried helping beautiful women several times. Looks and s3x can only go so far. They become to dependent on me and it was time to move on to women in their early 20s! LEO knows and i'm on his camp!

[@Jen281]

A lot of wisdom here and it really does come with age.

[@stefa22]

8:26 Love it 💁🏽‍♀️👏🏽

[@かぴ-w2u]

She had quit self-pity and stood on her own two feet.

[@RaymondWong-u3m]

You are really wise!

[@IISourAyyII]

38 but still looking very youthful

[@brighterwithnzu392]

This is a good listen