224. What are Breadcrumbs?

[@MikeGolf993]

Been breadcumbed for 4 months, until I broke NC. Just to find out my ex, who was breadcumbing by watching my IG stories for 4 months, was rebounding for a time. Those breadcumbs gave me false hope everyday and stopped me from healing or moving on, and when i found out about her rebound, it broke me again, like a new breakup. So my advice here is not to allow them to stop your process like this. And ofc, never break NC based on this minimal effort from them, at the end, probably it is what they want; you chasing again.

[@heyitssheaxo]

It’s been 5 months for me it sucks

[@pascal6158]

Update?

[@MikeGolf993]

@@pascal6158 she reached out to me during the lockdown to tell me that everything was a lie and she was not with another dude, she told me that in order to get myself away from her and avoid more hurting each other. LOL, I don't believe her. She reached out a couple of more times asking how I was doing but being kinda cold, even asking me to meet somewhere but as soon as I asked why she was willing to see me, she went cold. I'm not giving anything to her anymore unless she deserves that, which is never going to happen so im moving on following my own rythm

[@pascal6158]

Mark G She is playing with you. Don't give her the attention. I wish you the best on your way! :)

[@DigitalFire5000]

My ex did this the first month on Snapchat so I did a smart checkmate move and announced that I'm only posting on my private story for people that I accept or ask me to join ;)

[@haklbarry2]

2.5 months nc. No begging, no pleading, just accepted it. Nothing from her. Hope to finish griefing soon..

[@theseattlegreen1871]

I'm at 58 days no contact instantly went no contact and nothing not a peep from her . Was with her for 7 years engaged. Oh well....

[@haklbarry2]

Everything will be alright. Went through it one time before (4years of rs) and she isnt even close to my level. Same will happen this time. Just dont mess up the selfimproving. Feel sorry for u, and dont worry, if i geg your shit together, u will feel sorry for her at some point ❤️😊 much love

[@theseattlegreen1871]

@@haklbarry2 Good luck to you my friend. I'll always love this chick....

[@haklbarry2]

Its going to get better. I promise. Its like dying, i know. But u cannot change it, so u can cry and feel sorry for yourself, or cry, feel sorry while going to the gym. Second option will defently make things easier soon, and often works as a eyeopener eventhough that takes months. Good luck, much love

[@haklbarry2]

And the relief state of the dumper often takes a long time. They grief aswell, but kinda start on the other end. 58days is not alot considering 7 years of rs. But dont worry, she will reconsider everything and u will defently hear from her again. But it takes time.

[@AfroSenjuXD]

Huge respect man ... It has been 3 months since my ex cheated on me and I have been listening to you ever since ... You helped me a lot... I am very grateful to you...

[@berwicksan716]

How you doing man?

[@AfroSenjuXD]

Now things are far better. I have been working on self growth and now I think that my life have changed for good... I am so thankful to god and everyone wo supposed me...

[@berwicksan716]

@@AfroSenjuXD How did you get over the fact that she cheated on you? Just curious as I've never been in that situation!

[@AfroSenjuXD]

Berwik San it was quite tough at the beginning but with time you start to accept the facts and it becomes a lot easier then...

[@JoenelleM]

Extremely helpful reminder. Ex still breadcrumbs me after being upfront on what I want

[@zecookiess]

Breadcrumbs are a form of food you feed to ducks 👀

[@khawajamazhar9188]

Orrrrr.....dicks

[@wildanS]

You shouldn't do that though.

[@zecookiess]

@@wildanS this is true!

[@khawajamazhar9188]

zecookiess like your sense of humour 🤣🤣🤣

[@GeistInTheMachine]

Yup. My ex did that plenty. It's disrespectful.

[@markda7406]

Found Rory after a tough breakup and now listening again as I’ve begun dating many months later. Always spot on.

[@lilasteeves3693]

Been there done that. I told him after he dumped me that I no longer wanted anything to do with him.Resonated.Thank you.

[@mrawesome1096]

Love u rory! Thank you for helping me out through out my 2019. It’s been 8 months now and I finally get myself back 💗

[@billiejoe5570]

i been getting breadcrumbs for 2 weeks now , but thanks to this legend i can see through shit rn

[@jackeliot4497]

I thought I was a success story after 3 months she said “I love you” and then went quiet. The next day she wanted to be my friend. I said no, she then said her life was “better without me” and I decided to go back into no contact without having her on one of my social media’s.

[@GeistInTheMachine]

That's brutal. Sorry.

[@princhipessa1969]

Tommy Eliot that sucks. Evil

[@Siile_]

Being an expert at receiving breadcrumbs at this point (my ex is the incarnation of fickle and indecisive, three breakups, countless breadcrumbs), I can tell you this video is unbelievably accurate. If you are going through tough and confusing times, listen to Rory, trust me.

[@lucyjones8088]

My ex boyfriend broke up almost one year ago. He orbited, bread crumbed, then ghosted me 3 times in the one ☝️ year. I went from hopeful to devastated each time. It’s hurtful and confusing and made my healing have to start all over. I have since blocked him on all social media and deleted his phone number and email. I had to do that because his confusing behavior was too much to mentally deal with. I have to take care of myself and heal properly. While I had hope he would come around, he clearly doesn’t know what he wants. No contact is the only way to heal and protect your heart. Great video Rory! Very helpful!!

[@meenalaregina7770]

I appreciate how you summarised the test to determine if we are in a breadcrumb situation. Is it possible for breadcrumbs to exist in friendships?

[@TheLoveChat]

Typically they are romantic but I suppose it's possible

[@lepetitchat123]

Wish I knew concepts like breadcrumbing 10 years ago. I was breadcrumbed for like 2 years by the King of Breadcrumbs.

[@sean6709]

My ex reached out 10 days ago with a 2am phone call, we’ve hung out 4 times since then, been on a couple dates, hooked up, she said she loved me, misssed me, saw a future, but doesn’t want to commit to a relationship. I’m so fucking confused.

[@haklbarry2]

Seems like shes using you and your fragile emotions, to get over you...

[@lucyjones8088]

Don’t see her! If she can’t commit and doesn’t know what she wants, remove yourself from that toxic situation.

[@stevendeonarain4451]

She's using you for comfort until she finds someone else. End it.

[@irrelevantunderdog5584]

RUN!!

[@armieestrong7059]

yeeesss!!!! ugh! i was totally being breadcrumbed! he was always watching my snapchat and IG stories, which led me to constantly check it he's seen it and it was just so bad for my development! thank goodness i muted him and hid my stories from him. ugh literally everytime i start to miss my ex, i just have to listen to a few of these videos to remind myself THAT I DON'T NEED HIM!

[@tacobelle69]

How do you figure out if they’re bread crumbing or want you back? Should you straight up ask?

[@JK-wv1bb]

So Rory, what if you were in a short term relationship, started off great (mainly too fast on his behalf) then got carried away and showed far more enthusiasm than him? Then slightly fading me off, being hot and cold and basically being very aware of the fact he was using me for self-validation (he claimed he had problems with his girlfriend). He came and went as he pleased and the last time I fell for it...until he disappeared again. Got very angry with myself for being a fool...again. Being in NC for 3 months!! Haven't heard anything from him but I can seem to get over the disappointment and anger...your videos do help though...I believe this is the definition of breadcrumbs!!

[@Etm2187]

"You'll only love her the most out of anyone ever, until you love the next one"

[@evies_mommy_84]

To anyone looking for a reach out because they think it means something great...I got one breadcrumb (text reach out) and I hoped it was going to lead to something else and so far it hasn't. I haven't heard from him since, but now my mind is obsessing even worse over if I'll hear from him again. My point is, waiting for an initial reach out is sometimes easier than getting a crumb and being anxious for more.

[@lisac6139]

'Things to say and sentences and words....' Hahahaha brilliant.

[@rushmitaroy6719]

Thank you Rory..As i am dealing with breadcrumbs from my ex from last two months so this video was much needed for me..

[@jammpp969]

Rory is the bomb

[@evies_mommy_84]

He broke up with me a week after our 6 month anniversary which was a a few weeks before Christmas. I got a "Merry Christmas" text, as I'm sure everyone on his contact list did. Last Tuesday, I got a very random "Hey" at 10:30 at night. He said he was thinking about me and figured he'd reach out to say Hi and see how I'm doing. I couldn't tell him the truth (I've been a mess, you broke my heart, etc) so I said I'm not sure how to answer that. He ended up telling me he still has suicidal thoughts, which he's told me in the past. So now I don't know if he was genuinely missing me or if he just needed to know if anyone still cares what happens to him. So yeah, I got my "reach out", but it wasn't really anything to get excited about

[@moviefan8533]

My ex is dropping breadcrumbs in the run-up to her birthday this Friday. She watches all my IG stories, liked a recent post of mine, and last night, liked some tweet that said, "If someone's a priority in your life, you'll keep them." If she's wishing for cold silence on her birthday, she gon' get it!

[@rborecki222]

My ex monkey-branched 11 months ago. Two days ago a friend of hers tried getting me to add her on instagram (I didn't) and today she contacted me to ask about the cats right after I saw this video. She then started some small talk, and I asked her if she wanted to say anything else. She played it off and that was it. Definitely breadcrumbs...

[@iambear8390]

This is very timely. Thank you so much!

[@anewman1976]

Excellent video today Rory, just listening before my radio show.

[@stormfalcon72]

Being breadcrumbed over weeks and months has got to be the most confusing and anxiety inducing period of my entire life. I wish I had the knowledge and emotional discipline to find the strength to mirror their behavior or withdraw my attention, instead of questioning her and coming across needy and demanding.

[@yeuruuerueeheue]

what happened?

[@stormfalcon72]

@@yeuruuerueeheue Hi there. I stopped contacting her and never heard from her again. Probably the most painful reality check ever but there you go. Time heals. I’m good now 😇

[@yeuruuerueeheue]

@@stormfalcon72 oh well that hurt but killed my false hope so thats good i guess lol im glad youre over it, have a good week❤️

[@itintern1081]

Thanks rory I have listened to almost every video of you.. Learned so much from you ..

[@notsean5991]

woke up to a love chat vid. just what I need. are you able to do a vid on dating single mothers/fathers ?

[@TheLoveChat]

Sure!

[@midnightexpress726]

@@TheLoveChat That would be very insightful Rory...please do a video on this topic. Thanks.

[@adikadikadik08]

thing is i went NC when it happened. ex breadcrummed me a WEEK after, sending links, random pictures of things etc. I responded to some, and now haven't heard from ex again so far. Idk if that's good or not.

[@saswatamukherjee7144]

Make a video on the signs of a narcissistic ex.

[@ladydee4485]

Thank you so much Rory!!! I appreciate this video -literally the response to my request on your last video!! You’re truly the best ❤️❤️😭

[@incaseshereadsthis6467]

What's the best you can do when an ex contacted you after no contact asking to be friends. Because it's hard for them to let me out of their life completely

[@gamze4164]

In case she reads This i’m kind of in the same position... but we agreed to do NC first and after that he would like to be my friend 😞 so stjll have to go thru NC

[@incaseshereadsthis6467]

@@gamze4164 yah, after a weak of no contact she was kinda not sure if I still wanted to see her or not. I just told her that we were in a relationship and that it's hard for me to go from that to friendship. She tried pulling through with the friendship idea. I just said that if she wants to give the relationship a fair chance, I was willing to talk. And then we said goodbye ... again ... so I guess this is No contact volume 2? 😂

[@gamze4164]

In case she reads This oh my god.... how annoying haha. Let’s hope the second time will work out for you guys!

[@incaseshereadsthis6467]

@@gamze4164 I don't expect much :( ... How long has your NC been?

[@gamze4164]

In case she reads This just stay strong and commit to NC! Mine has only been 4 days...... lol but feels like forever

[@gloriaramirez1525]

It’s like you know my current situation lol

[@Truewise]

Nubith Ramirez I’m in the same boat

[@lisahiersekorn8621]

@@Truewise Same here....my ex breadcrumbs me . He'll ask " how are you doing " me " I'm great, doing this, doing that , blah blah blah, how are you ? Him " Ok" then nothing ............UGH!

[@gregmason6379]

Me too ☹️

[@kiddo9360]

Rory..she bumped into a friend of mine. She spoke to him about me. And called me using his phone. I told her previously that i do not want to speak to her as she is dating someone new. When i spoke to her on the phone when she called recently. She asked why am i calling her by name and not baby. Wtf is going on

[@ericfox5794]

Hey Rory could you do a video on second dates? I feel like everyone stresses about getting the first date that they forget to think about what comes after it. I'd love to hear what you have to say!

[@georgehills1766]

Hey Rory, Please can you do a video addressing when your ex goes back to their ex after a serious relationship with you? Great video as always!

[@jaimeherrera4995]

You were the rebound guy. Sorry

[@dr.asthasingh8565]

That happened exactly, how are you, missing you n than disappear 😂

[@ashleytisdalefan74]

Hey Rory, Do you have a vid about, when your ex tells you to move on? Last talk we had, we kind of talked in out calmly, she said it wouldnt work out at this point. i answered thats ok, give me a call if you change ur mind. She agreed but also said, if I would find someone else to open my heart for i should do so and it would be her bad luck. -- so she kinda said, move on. dk how to feel bout that

[@Neurodivergent_Nat]

My ex who ultimately landed me in jail, broke up with me and was like “hey babe maybe we can work things out. Don’t end your life over this”...ugh. Then he messaged me early in the morning and was like “you have a beautiful voice” 🙄🙄

[@cannoncrazy225]

What if they breadcrumb when they are in a new relationship? (Aka rebound)

[@DigitalFire5000]

My ex viewed my story for the entire first month on Snapchat so I did a smart checkmate move and announced that I'm only posting on my private story for people that I accept or ask me to join ;) That way I get to keep posting, and they get the radio silence they asked for.

[@oldcunt574]

I wish i could at least get breadcrumbs even. Shes straight radio silence

[@wildanS]

You wish until you experience it, then you realize that it's the worst thing ever.

[@TotoRunq]

It would just give you false hope and would prevent your healing!

[@lucyjones8088]

Please read the comment I just posted. You don’t want bread crumbs they are worse then the break up!!

[@zuryte2252]

Hi rory! My ex dumped me because things arent special anymore. Or as you say the routine killed the desire. I implemented no contact after messaging her once or twice after the break up. After about two weeks of nc Today she messaged me "how are you" we spoke a bit but it didnt end in much, i gave her the "give me a message if you change your mind" thanks for your amazing advice, hopefully this is the start of her missing me and reconcilliation.

[@gatheryerosebuds9]

I feel like I'm breadcrumbing this breadcrumbing video! 😆 Thanks, it's helped a lot.

[@stubbornkitty1649]

Got a how are you message yesterday... I replied, received nothing back.. do I ignore them if they message again ?

[@ryo1549]

Both of my ex wives have done this to me...

[@raiderfive5957]

Solid Knowledge. Thank You!!

[@wanderertatiana2498]

I got a happy birthday message from my ex. Like what am I supposed to do with that? Nothing. It's breadcrumbs. Worthless.

[@CameroneProductions]

Eh. It’s also known as ‘Weaning off’. Dumpees beware! 🤨

[@princhipessa1969]

The Healing Heart wish I knew this before 😌. Thought we were heading toward reconciliation, it was quite the opposite.

[@CameroneProductions]

BOV - Ya. I learnt the hard way as well 🤨 Also, as a breakup coach myself I’ve seen it a million times 🙏

[@lisahiersekorn8621]

@@CameroneProductions the thing is, do we call them out on their breadcrumbing ??

[@CameroneProductions]

Lisa Hiersekorn - Not sure you need to ‘call them out’ on it as that would probably only add pressure to an already tense situation. But you ‘can’ choose to deal with it how you wish. Just know that I refer to it as weaning off and I’ve never really seen it lead to a ‘successful’ reconciliation. Maybe here and there but in general, no. It’s only prolonging the inevitable ...and your healing* The bottom line is: If they’re going to come back, they will no matter what we do or don’t do. I’ve seen people beg and plead and get back together and I’ve seen people get back together after years of NC. It’s kind of a lottery sadly. That’s why it’s important to just know that and take care of yourself and what YOU need to do now moving forward 🙏💙 PS: Don’t beg and plead, for your own self respect 😁

[@amandaa7165]

I feel like I messed up. My ex was breadcrumbing me for the first 3 weeks of our breakup and he asked to give me a birthday present. I said it was too hard to see him right now and he said he’d leave it up to me. Haven’t heard from him much since but I don’t want to be the one to break no contact. Why is this stuff so hard!!!

[@sarahkirkman7757]

Update?

[@amandaa7165]

Sarah Kirkman We ended up not speaking for a month until he reached out asking to catch up. When we did he confessed that he still loved me and wanted to be together, we gave it a shot but after a while it just wasn’t the same on my end

[@sarahkirkman7757]

Hey @@amandaa7165. Thanks for the update, I'm in a similar situation at the moment so it's interesting to know. When you're the one who has been broken up with, it's very easy to long for reconciliation but sometimes you can't anticipate how you'll feel once that opportunity arrives when so much hurt has been inflicted. Wishing you all the best!

[@amandaa7165]

Sarah Kirkman I remember being in your position so well, it was so painful and all I wanted was for him to come back into my life. Over time you will figure out what is right for you. I have since met somebody new, which I never anticipated (or even wanted as I was so fixated on my ex). But I see in him all the things that my ex couldn’t give me and I’m truly happy, both within myself and this new relationship. Sending you so much strength. It will get easier with time, that I can promise you!

[@christoffer5875]

Can you talk about exes that don't leave you immediately? My ex kept wanting to see me for 6 months post-breakup. We were still having sex and everything and texting every single day. Slowly she wanted more distance, i reacted by confessing my love and then she went no contact on me to heal and move on. Can you maybe explain what it means when you keep seeing each other despite being broken up?

[@Airmaster360]

My ex gf accidentally sent me a friend request on facebook, my phone gets the notification so thats how i know. Is this considered breadcrumb?

[@lucyjones8088]

Erol Yuce It’s a breadcrumb to see if you will reach out. Also she is stalking your social media. Don’t contact her! Stay no contact.

[@chriscline7905]

Rory!!!! My favorite videos, don't know if I even want ex back still but love the videos!! Still don't get why she is soooo mad still, I've done everything textbook, and still wont exchange stuff?? She dumped me

[@chriscline7905]

I think it's honestly cause I haven't validated the breakup reasons 1.) Controlling-Told her to have a blast then went No Contact 2.) Not driven enough-Got promoted, working 70hrs a week making great money & paying her $10,000 for the months she had to pay the bills while I had serious health problems. She makes this a BIG one and secretly I think she hopes I don't pay her so she can say "See, you didn't care and went back on your word." 4.)Let my looks go- Gym daily, added 22 pounds of muscle in 3 months and look like different person now 5.) Vices, drinking, smoking, gambling-quit them all instantly 6.)Not social enough outside relationship-bonded with old friends, going out alot and social again. Now she is livid at me, why couldn't you do that when we were together? I told her I woke up, having lots of girls interest and don't think she is fairing as much since she added 300 new friends on social media, most if all she doesn't know and alot single guys😁 I don't care, I don't go looking for love, if it doesn't happen organically in life with people I interact with then its forced.

[@tahrirforever]

He was my best friend then we had two years a romance relationship, he broke up with me because I repeated the same mistake over and over which it hurts his feeling, he warned me a lot but I took him for granted till he broke up suddenly , My ex reaches out only if I have problems or getting sick , three times asked for hanging out during 6 months of no contact. Is there any advice to get him back ? Does he still love me ? any hope? I'm so depressed :(

[@chilloften]

My ex has breadcrumbed me for nearly three years, always just wanting info on me, what I’m doing, how I’m doing, where am I. He even forgets some of it. There is no point but I can’t be mean. I need to put myself first.

[@landriahm6161]

I think I am being bread crumbed and put in the back burner. The sad part is, he won’t let go or break up with me and at the same time won’t let me end the relationship. He told me that when we both find someone else we can let each other go. And allows me to date other men but won’t allow us to end!!! That makes no sense!!! I’ve walked away so many times, and gone through so many no contacts but he alway find a way to find me and contact me again. Does he not care that he’s actually hurting me by prolonging this? Is he actually keeping me to the side bc he see a further with me? Is this normal? Is he confused?

[@abdulrehman-ye3ug]

No contact screwEd me up my 6 years of relationship vanished.. she cheated with someone else in the starting of February 2019 and left me in the middle on nowhere. she came back in June we get back together for 2 good months we had long trip of 15 days in north side of the country in mountains but when we cameback she broke up again and block me from everywhere it's been 3months of no contact just one bread crumb happened that's all I didn't initiate initiated the contact now she goes back to her Ex. maybe I wasn't good enough but I give it all in this relationship. I am 5.6 her ex 6.2 and maybe a rich person too. I don't know what to do I need help lost my job new job in this anxiety depression phase of breakup. She fucked me up completely

[@jackeliot4497]

abdul rehman keep your head up and maybe consider there might be better fish in the sea. Your going about it with a scarcity mindset and with that you are allowing yourself to put up with her games. There are other girls better personality wise and prettier than your ex and you just have to find her. If your ex wanna play games she can do it by herself. Find someone that is gonna stay and want to be with you. She is out there btw you just have to look and this abundance mindset will help you look better to her and make you feel better. Your job is to be the best option of your ex or your new girlfriend.

[@darthdad1198]

What if I’m getting bread crumbed but your having a baby with her? She text me about the weather and my day saying she misses taking to me and we should get are kids together. It’s never about are baby. I’m really confused

[@allyvee5771]

What if he breadcrumbs with social media likes and then blocks an hour later because I ignore him?

[@heae90]

Hey coach, my ex messages me multiple times a week, I asked her out twice and she has excuses. When she messages I take usually hours to reply, then we go back and forth for a couple of texts and she disappears. Am I at risk of just being a friend, even though I told her I'm not interested in being friends?

[@fatimabousbia8816]

He broke up with me after a ridiculous argument. I begged and pleaded for a 15 days,tried to reason with him convince him that he was wrong and that it didn't diserve all that reaction, but he refused to listen. He eventually blocked me EVERYWHERE. 15 days post breakup,which I spent crying and begging him to firgive me for everything I did and DIDN'T I went no contact. I've been in no contact for a month now. It feels amazing; I got the chance to think it over and I finally realised that nth was wrong with me and that he didn't diserve me. The surprising thing is that he unblocked me on fb last week (not on messenger). Can you tell me what does it mean???? He also posts some things :quotes, pics which I feel are about me ( he plays the role of smn betrayed and hirt as though he is the onn who has been dumped

[@roxycrisandjuno]

It probably means he's wondering why you haven't been begging and may be curious. Stay no contact, and that includes not stalking him on social media because it's just going to set back your growth. Be warned, unblocking doesn't equal I want to get back together/reconcile.

[@FueledByKass]

After 4 months, I got a breadcrumb text. Got the text and he disappeared again. However, I’ve been working on myself so much that although I responded and got ignored (as I expected), I am trying my best to not let it affect me.

[@JollyCelery]

I have a difficult time believing it's ever unintentional. If someone makes it clear they don't want you, and they go and boo up someone else, then what is it they are getting from breadcrumbing their past? If you have no interest, why breadcrumb? Why not just leave completely? I just don't understand why someone wants to keep a person around that they have deemed unacceptable or unattractive or undateable. If I am not interested in a man, I do not send flirty texts, because he will think I'm interested, see how that works? So, if someone is doing this and they are not interested, it's deliberate, calculated, and conscious manipulation designed to hurt the other person. There is no other way to view it. What I don't understand is why someone has such a deep desire to hurt someone else and try to make them feel worthless. What's the point? Why is it so important that they know over and over that you don't value them? Why can't you just go on your merry way and let them be? Breadcrumbing is a low-life behavior and it's done to hurt, I just can't believe there is any other reason to do it.

[@Truewise]

This is right on time.

[@mkjc2011]

I had a coaching session with you about a couple months ago and followed your advice. My ex came back recently and I fear it maybe bread crumbing. She won’t commit to dates bc she says the last time we hung out it didn’t turn out so well (this was July of last year) and she says let’s build it slowly, however I am not trying to be a backup or be friend zoned w her so I directly tell her I’m not interested. How do I handle staying in masculine energy (not worrying about the relationship) but yet set the standards (not interested in anything platonic)?

[@zackfish3457]

I don’t think her wanting to build it back slowly is her trying to friendzone you. I think she wants to take this time to make sure this is soemthing she wants and wants to see you’ve changed for the positive. Go on a few dates but start from the beginning as if it’s your first date. Use this time to show her your new and improved self. Best of luck !

[@Goingghost47]

Unblocking is a form of breadcrumb

[@Goingghost47]

Plus as well as they leaving your pictures together up since it’s been a month from the break up

[@ItsTruthBaby]

Unblocking is a form of curiosity. They get to see your status updates and what you've posted while they blocked you.

[@Goingghost47]

No while they still my picture of use together

[@MissPrincess02]

So you're saying there's a chance...

[@linkinpark1800]

Hey Rory I need help with this situation. Me and this girl dated for a month. It was very passionate and well we broke up because her family needed her. Her dad has ALS and her grandpa has stage four cancer. Because she has these issues she said that she wasn’t ready for there to be an us or a we. We broke up and when I dropped her off she said that “it isn’t a bye it’s a more of an I’ll see you later” she said this before she left my car and it was the last thing she said to me in person. She then messaged me a random text the very next day (Tuesday of last week) and I replayed with an emotionless and just bland reply.. the next day Wednesday she sent me another text about something random. I just replied with a “haha yeah I don’t get that post” but the thing was I messaged her a day later (Thursday) and then didn’t hear from her. That Saturday I sent her a meme because I hadn’t heard from her. Then I messaged her Sunday ( Mother’s Day) saying “hey I was worried about you how are you doing?” And she didn’t reply until Tuesday and said “why were you worried?” And another right after about her working overtime Saturday and Sunday. But the last time I heard from her was Wednesday of last week. She obviously had time to message me back and she was posting stories on Instagram :/ should I wait days to message her or should I message the same day but just say something like “I know you were going through a hard time and wanted to know how you are doing but I see you’re doing pretty good I was just checking in” or what else could I say?

[@Mikeh2077]

I’m just gonna keep my ex blocked. She called it quits three months ago, but she goes hot and cold from time to time. I don’t even want her in my life anymore. Not mad, just tired of False hope.

[@soulsearchin2093]

Coach is there a way I can win a one to one coaching session with you?

[@jfluffydog2110]

Yes, you can win by paying lol

[@soulsearchin2093]

@@jfluffydog2110 too broke to even own a credit card😂

[@zaradezign8100]

@@soulsearchin2093 I feel you

[@logandavidson6713]

Hi Rory , my ex was doing this a lot and then would disappear for a few days . While I was in NC . this is what I text back cause I don’t want her back . Please let me know if it was good . Hi there ( name) ! It would seem you want to keep in touch with me for some reason ( reaching out when it’s good for you. … last nights text … asking if I’d consider going for a drink with you etc… ), I’m a little confused to what you want from me after all of this . At some point you had to really think of the pros and cons and decided your life would be better without me . Sorry but you don’t get to have the break up and me both to make you feel good , you lost that privilege when you did all of this . I would like to continue moving on so you need to let me go like you planned thank you. I hope you find what you’re looking for, and wish you the best always . Xo

[@JK-ni7gp]

Not responding to it ..... I love myself

[@congretalations]

Hey Coach Rory. We broke up for 16days now. i went no contact ang he kept reaching out to me 2days from the time that we broke up. He kept texting calling ang sending me chat msgs. Like he can't stop thinking of me, that i always come into his mind, that he misses me, asking me how i was, he kept apologizing and asked where i was the past days since i disappeared all of a sudden. I responded 4days after with "im okay and you?" That he is also always in mind and "im glad you're thinking about me. I miss you too" then he responded he responded with good morning right after. The communication keeps going but i always respond after couple of hours, i dont respond right away. Now, im worried i messed up and that he is now treating me as his friend only so i went back to no contact again. His last message was few hrs earlier asking me again how i was. I just replied with the same im okay and you? Then until now i dont know what his response was since i again went No contact. Im not sure what to do now. did i mess up? Is he seeing me as just a friend now? i also asked him "what can i do about that?" When he said i am always on his mind and he responded with, "i dont know" he clearly still doesnt know what he wants. He broke up with me bec. He isnt sure about me, that he still craves other women that he doesnt want to hurt me one day bec. He is tempted with other women, that he cant cheat on me and cant hurt me bec. Im such a good person. He told me he still loves me but it isnt that strong to continue with our rel. we were only together for a month but it was a serious and loving rel. That he even introduced me to his family.. im so close to his family now most esp. To her mom. They like me so much. im 33 y.o. and he is only 20 y.o ....UPDATE: i logged on to my fb account and he sent me messages right away when he saw i was online with, "how are you?" And "i miss you" i replied with im fine and that i feel the same then he told me he passed the final interview for the job he applied then i replied congratulations and he replied "thank you for the support". I just reacted to his reply with a heart and didn't reply anymore. I logged out of facebook right away. Did i mess up? Is he friendzoning me now? Please help Coach thank you Rory

[@sourabhyadav3024]

I have an advice for you....if he ask how you are then just reply 'i am doing good and improving with time'.....donot ask him how he is coz he is in his relief stage( which will last couple days if you go no contact)....the best thing you cam do is ignore him and let him realize your worth let him miss you and don't even respond to him untill begs you.... Since he dumped you he should show some effort.... Look if he really cared he wouldn't have dumped you right? So just go no contact and him reach.....if you need any help with your future situations feel free to contact me( you can text me on my watsapp no 7903364192).....i have been through your situation and i am experienced and i don't want others to suffer so fell free to contact if you ever need any advice.... May god help you heal up

[@sourabhyadav3024]

Also it seems like he is friendzoning you but good news is you messed up nothing...its ok both of you are just sharing your pain...

[@congretalations]

@@sourabhyadav3024 thank you so much for your advice. I greatly appreciate you. I have decided to go no contact again. I will stay away from social media first so i won't be tempted to reply to his chat messages and so i wont reply to his family's chat messages to me as well most esp. To his mom's messages and will also stay away from my phone for 30days to 45days. I need to do this to heal and not to be friendzoned by him..thanks again. I will definitely contact you. Thank you so.much once again. I appreciate you ❤

[@sourabhyadav3024]

@@congretalations that's the spirit....if you ever feel like you need motivation just remember you are not alone....we are with you...just take care....if you feel like crying just go and cry it will help to mentally digest the emotions

[@PlatinumDagger]

Honestly you did fine just don't respond to him any more you're feeding his ego.

[@mia18zap]

I just made a mistake and answered to breadcrumbs from my ex that broked up with me 1 week ago. I readed so much about this things and then i give in so stupid. He just wanted talk about him and how he feels but totaly ignored what i writed about myself. Turns out like Im bad person for asking some space to heal and not beeing there for him after break up even he is one who broked up for no real reason. Im so angry to him and myself for falling to it.

[@MaoSheng]

Ex gf reach out after 2month. breadcrumb for 1week. Told her i couldnt be friend and wish her well. Been no contact for 3month. Slowly seeing im getting better, sometime i do wonder did i do the right thing and do wish she will come back.

[@TotoRunq]

almost same situation. told me ex I cant be friends and wish all the best. NC about 4 months. Back then I regret saying that and always wonder if i did the right thing. but now i try not to be hard on myself for that because it was the right thing. I made things clear that I can't be friends with my ex, I want him as a partner. Of course I wish I would have handle it differently but I didn't know better back then. But I learnt from it and grew from it. This was a lesson! Things get better with time.

[@MaoSheng]

@@TotoRunq how will you handle differently, for awhile i did think about but all those thinking end up being not able to be friend

[@TotoRunq]

@@MaoSheng Well, im my case I unfortunatly agreed to be friends in the beginning. Then I realized that I can't after hanging out as "friends". I should have walk away right in the beginning. But yeah.. you learn from your mistakes

[@MaoSheng]

@@TotoRunq thanks for your insight :)

[@TotoRunq]

@@MaoSheng youre welcome :) wish you all the best!

[@almogheeraalmamoun6993]

Am i the only person who thinks breadcrumbs will make me push them away when they reach out? + rory when did your ex come back?

[@ItsTruthBaby]

I think rory said she came back in about six months

[@almogheeraalmamoun6993]

@@ItsTruthBaby do you remember the title of the video?

[@ItsTruthBaby]

@@almogheeraalmamoun6993 no I dont sorry. He's mentioned it in his live stream as well. If I find it I'll drop the link here.

[@96joeysmith]

My ex keeps blocking and unblocking me and messaged my 12 Yr old neice a few weeks ago asking how she is. My neice blocked her lol

[@ett2]

I'm wondering if this is true if they are in contact with family too. I feel like it could be some insecurities that have developed with regards to where I stand now

[@MrLukachtamash]

Hey Rory, what can be considered as breadcrumbs if you work together with your ex? Meaning the same team, interacting all day. Thanks for your help!

[@TheLoveChat]

Mostly the same thing. They would usually take place outside of the workplace but in general anything meant to lead you on!

[@congretalations]

@@TheLoveChat Hey Coach Rory. We broke up for 16days now. i went no contact ang he kept reaching out to me 2days from the time that we broke up. He kept texting calling ang sending me chat msgs. Like he can't stop thinking of me, that i always come into his mind, that he misses me, asking me how i was, he kept apologizing and asked where i was the past days since i disappeared all of a sudden. I responded 4days after with "im okay and you?" That he is also always in mind and "im glad you're thinking about me. I miss you too" then he responded he responded with good morning right after. The communication keeps going but i always respond after couple of hours, i dont respond right away. Now, im worried i messed up and that he is now treating me as his friend only so i went back to no contact again. His last message was few hrs earlier asking me again how i was. I just replied with the same im okay and you? Then until now i dont know what his response was since i again went No contact. Im not sure what to do now. did i mess up? Is he seeing me as just a friend now? i also asked him "what can i do about that?" When he said i am always on his mind and he responded with, "i dont know" he clearly still doesnt know what he wants. He broke up with me bec. He isnt sure about me, that he still craves other women that he doesnt want to hurt me one day bec. He is tempted with other women, that he cant cheat on me and cant hurt me bec. Im such a good person. He told me he still loves me but it isnt that strong to continue with our rel. we were only together for a month but it was a serious and loving rel. That he even introduced me to his family.. im so close to his family now most esp. To her mom. They like me so much. im 33 y.o. and he is only 20 y.o ....UPDATE: i logged on to my fb account and he sent me messages right away when he saw i was online with, "how are you?" And "i miss you" i replied with im fine and that i feel the same then he told me he passed the final interview for the job he applied then i replied congratulations and he replied "thank you for the support". I just reacted to his reply with a heart and didn't reply anymore. I logged out of facebook right away. Did i mess up? Is he friendzoning me now? Please help Coach thank you Rory

[@MrLukachtamash]

@@TheLoveChat thanks Rory! Can you revisit the topic of working with your ex in a new video?

[@gabrielhajj776]

Are the messages from my ex related to work (some are really unnecessary) considered a breadcrumb?

[@karenzhang1020]

Rory, can you do a video about how we can work on our anxiety when we are not in the relationship? Because when you are single, you have nothing to anxious about, right? lol (Then when you jump to another relationship in the future, you become anxious again).

[@romeroll]

Can she breadcrumbs me using out kid? Like... Sending me stuff our kid did or say? I need help

[@heiheinoo3871]

Do we respond to breadcrumbs (texts)

[@thomasdedecker5931]

She did this 2 months with me after dumping me. So I set my boundaries and asked her to give it another chance. She didn’t want to. To heal myself I’ve changed my phone number and deleted all my social media. I’m focused on myself.... if she want to reach out she can send me a email of ring my doorbell. But to be honest I’m not sure if I would give it a chance. Last saw her 27 days ago. Last time I heard from hear 21 days ago.

[@juicesenpai1413]

Is this a form of bread crumbs I texted her saying my phone is active again and to see how they are doing. Took a couple of hours to reply just to put "Alright I'm okay"

[@roxycrisandjuno]

Not a breadcrumb since you reached out to her first

[@agivnofox4721]

Rory i need your help So my ex broke up with me last month. She broke up with me because i took her for granted and made her feel worthless according to her. I wasn't talking to her as much as i used to. She said it hurt her but she still wants to be friends. The thing was that i couldn't talk to her because i have school which takes up alot of my time. I begged and pleaded but she said that i keep hurting her and she doesn't to feel like how she was before. After she said that i told her i wasn't gonna contact her again. It's been a month What do i do? My exams finish in 5 months time and then i can make more time for her. Please tell me what i should do?

[@joelmalacara80]

School is always your first priority bro! It’s better to have you education and career set. That is sexy and you will attach someone who sees the value in the time and effort you put to be better.

[@agivnofox4721]

@@joelmalacara80 thanks I'm doing just that but i think I've wronged her at times

[@4ulight]

Can you do a video on dating single fathers and single mothers?

[@danielgallo4587]

@lovechat so is my ex sending me an angry text as an FYI after 3 Months no contact (about a comment on my FB that could’ve implied her) a breadcrumb?

[@jornkirkengard8238]

Treat me like I’m special or leave me tf alone. Him: there’s no coming back from that. Me. That’s the point. ✌️

[@jericho7899]

I think she is "breadcrumbing" me with some of my favorite things she would bake me,hairstyles and visual things I've always complimented her on... Shes done all these things to me recently during our children's pickups/dropped... I dont acknolwedge them though I do tell her I appreciate the baked goods/gifts and continue about my day

[@jizzlow123]

Yo , Rory .. i mean Andy (: .. Can you do a Video about ... Short Term See at Work again Plays it cool ... But looking at me ...from far away And do the slow fade ..more or less ..( its all my Situation .) ..she Looks Like ..she is ether ...scared ..or icecold ...

[@Joycelang2495]

Hi god bless you 💝💝💝🎁🎁🎁

[@jamesgunn9056]

got bread crumbed 10 days after a BU. That was fun :S Haven't heard from them for a month now

[@gabygabby5880]

What if they are hella HELLA prideful lol

[@melanies6205]

This 👆

[@theninjaproject1331]

does nc is still the best idea when ur partner broke up with u. my gf broke up with me just last week while im here abroad far away. . she said she doesnt have feelings anymore. . but b4 i went here we are very hapi and she said she love me very much after 10days she broke up with me without valid reasons. the problem is we only have 2 months relationship :( im doing NC with her but how bout this feb14 do i have to send her flowers or no? pls advise rory :(