265. Rose Colored Glasses (The Love Chat)

[@TheLoveChat]

Hello Friends - my link to get mental health counseling through "BetterHelp" is live: betterhelp.com/rory If you are looking to try mental health counseling but don't have insurance, or live in a part of the world where it is harder to do then this is your chance to get the help. I'm in talks with the company to interview one of their counselors so we can hear the opinions and thoughts of what a typical session is like, their thoughts on breakups and reconciliation with an EX, and much more. BetterHelp only employs licensed mental health professionals (State & board certified)! I am sponsored by BetterHelp - seems like a win-win.

[@aloveamezcua]

Has there been an update on this?

[@bigdaddybongo4622]

"When you look at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags"

[@PJ-wj7wv]

4 months after the breakup, the rose colored glasses are finally starting to come off. It does get easier, people. Listen to Rory, go NC as quickly as possible and do the work. It’s the best way, whatever comes next.

[@victorcatano6286]

Rory is always on time man. I swear he’s a superhero.

[@TheLoveChat]

Without my coffee i'm nothing!

[@anthonyfreeman6566]

Rory is GOD! 🙌🏼

[@Sirlance87]

So you’re saying he is Super Ror’. I like it

[@vicpido6324]

Indeed thanks rory!

[@punpun2607]

Ikr 😂

[@rehammua]

It took me 3 years to get over someone. And yesterday we met for the first time in 3 years. He said sorry if I ever hurt you. I went home and cried my eyes off ! I don’t understand why

[@wendybrennan8992]

i'll be 2 years post break up in October and I still am not ready. My dad passed in March and I lost it when the ex texted me his sympathies. Wish I could have punched him. would have been better if he had just ignored it.

[@rehammua]

Duran Sister I agree with you 💯. This is not love. I was just thinking it now and you wrote this comment. Anyways that day was the last time I heard from him and honestly am not interested to see him again 😘

[@dsp8864]

I needed to hear this so much today thank you for everything.

[@rychonaut1979]

4 months post breakup, 2 months of no contact, ex never reached out. Doing everything right and still feel like shit and not even close to over it. Really thinking I’ll never completely heal and never be able to love again. It sucks no matter what guys

[@puffypopify]

Keep going mate

[@miasandholdt]

Ohhhh I’ve been in lowest possible place. Literally on the brink of death. And I PROMISE you, you will get over it. And you will be happy again. And you will meet someone even more amazing. I promise.

[@coolbros2163]

You will heal when you loose all hope. It seems like you are doing everything to get her back. 8 months of break up and didn’t heal completely until i lost all hope which was last week.

[@MikeJackson690]

I feel the same and it's been 1.5 years. I've recovered from breakups before but this one's different. It's hit me really hard. I hope you're doing better now.

[@1nerdylegokid]

Same here man, 4 months since we broke up and I haven't spoken to her in 3 months

[@Lucy-ox4vp]

One week no contact down. I will never ever contact my ex again, even though I was convinced he was the one and I wanted to spend my life with him. I am still not sleeping perfectly but better than the first few days. Onwards and upwards there are plenty of men. Thank you so much Rory for keeping me sane before bed - I would be spiralling into chaos otherwise

[@Lucy-ox4vp]

rar Cp if it helps I’m feeling better now! Just gone 3 months :) talking out loud has been really therapeutic for me and also realising that he wasn’t perfect

[@JohnDoe-zm2zy]

She is contacting me every 2 days but now I am crazy for another woman...weird.

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@mdfarismdroslan6084]

my ex told me she would commit to me after she gave her ex before me another chance. felt so degraded

[@AUmarcus]

It sucks being the option....walk.

[@rbwesty5284]

I second that walk don't be an option for someone.

[@MikeJackson690]

Sweet Jesus, I hope you told her where to go!

[@freezyjahau2995]

Yeah .. Rory I am in the stage now that i don't really care much and sometimes i even started to forget her for hours ... Yeah sometimes it still hit hard ...

[@JakeAndBake1975]

I bought her a dozen roses shortly after the breakup and she hit me in the face with them while I was wearing glasses. And there you have it.🌹 👓

[@rl3656]

😂😭😂😭

[@WHaAteVaA]

lol ....

[@Fireman854Prod]

💀💀💀

[@joannesamuel1083]

Funny 😄

[@Jmmh4547]

So I had rose colored glasses on and wanted him back, but 2 nights ago we ran into each other in public both of us broke no contact and hashed it out, sorry I know that may be the wrong thing to do but I said everything I need to and feel better now and magically the glasses came off and I dont want him back because I see now how many issues he really has after the disagreement the other night. I think I realize it now though because of no contact. So with time away when you talk to them the first time they are a different person

[@matthewbradley4348]

It’s crazy Rory you seem to keep making these videos exactly when I need to hear something, you and DG keep getting me through this really hard time, thank you so much for everything guys x

[@coolbros2163]

Man, she will always remember the bad things never the good times, while i was just remembered the good stuff. It sucks for us the once that think only nice things.

[@daphnesuri3680]

Excellent content once again...Loving the scientific explanations, it all makes so much sense and therefore is such a relief! Thank you, Rory. x

[@Seren2010kinder]

It’s only when you come out of the dark and into the light do you take off the rose coloured glasses and truly see them for what they are Be it good or bad

[@anja7787]

Everyone has flaws tho. It depends on if you want or are blind to them and if you guys want to work things out

[@dand1951]

As always thank you for being here!!!

[@TheLoveChat]

My pleasure!!

[@hirawarraich4027]

I have been going through the same situation. Thanks Rory. You are really amazing! I pray that you will achieve great things in your life. Amen. Because you are helping many people. When I feel sad I always open your channel and find these motivated videos. Thanks again!❣️❣️

[@TheLoveChat]

Thank you so much!

[@heytechno4347]

Rory, next topic - friend with benefits with ex girlfriend. Pro and cons?

[@noneyabusiness9931]

Catching feelings again cons

[@vinezcentral]

What if their wasn't really anything much negative?

[@sovandareal]

Same...

[@cn7079]

I find the whole "guys always come back" saying very damaging. I have an ex, and despite telling him I disagreed and wanted otherwise (when he "broke up") and living my life trying not to think too much about him, I never heard back from him. In fact, because I told him I "disagreed" he got mad at me for "disrespecting his choice" and blocked me EVERYWHERE. Even on social media where we had never talked. I am still blocked more than half a year later. Therefore the whole "they always come back" makes me feel even more terrible about myself because despite doing everything right he hasn't regretted his decision and I feel like I was never worth coming back to.

[@me0wkyu]

Have you thought that maybe, he is the problem? And that maybe, he is doing that to manipulate you into yielding to his every beck and call... And now that you stood up for urself, he's gonna go look for someone else he can step on? What if... Just what if...

[@caitlinbrown5803]

“It’s a metaphor” thanks Rory 😂💜💜💜

[@marizabonilla3572]

This really helped me! Who I thought was my soulmate broke up with me and I am devastated. What’s interesting is that I am very independent and still longed for a partner. Knowing it’s my cave woman issue, helped me understand. Thank you ❤️

[@dextro3481]

Thanks Rory as always! Greets from Germany. Perhaps I have a new topic for you- ego strokes after bu: I made a big mistake: When my gf broke up I wrote a short letter in which I confirmed to her she made the right choice to end it, even though I didn’t mean it like that. It was my hurt ego. Now I am in nc but I think this letter makes it even harder for her to reach out :(

[@daphnesuri3680]

Hey Rory. Could you please do a video on limerence? I find that quite fascinating. Happy 4th of July!...xx

[@Digitalizedx]

She removed me 3 weeks after the breakup on snapchat.. and fb / IG. This is my first time I’ve gone full nc even tho it was a 2 month relationship. It did hurt due to the really high highs. I still follow her on insta but not watching her stories. She still would watch my content religiously till she removed me... our mutual friend sometimes posts stuff and she sees it.. it’s tough but I’m almost 2 months nc hang in there

[@fencemenders]

I took of the rose colored glasses and put on my Ray bands. (My own glasses for me)

[@erycktackitt6771]

Hey Rory! My video suggestion is about Mutual Friends and the Breakup/ during No Contact. I have been in no contact for 2 months exactly and I have been wonderful! Well one of my good friends reached out to her (without my knowing) and was trying to be friendly. Well she snapped on him and he told me. I told him to just leave her alone and let her figure out her life. He got angry and told her, "It's good you are broken up because he is doing better without you." I was shocked, but did not let it bother me. My question is how does this effect no contact and her being the dumper going through her cycle? Yes I am doing well and want to see how this plays out. It sounds stupid to wait around and see what happens, but I have other women in my texts. I am taking my time to be myself and live my single life as I heal. I don't have social media anymore and have been a thousand times better and have more free time. I have hit the gym, learned piano, and even got a motorcycle and another job! If you could answer my question or give me video suggestions if you have already made on video on my question/topic. Much Love!

[@kevinbucholtz6303]

Can you do a video about the hook up culture and self love? Personally I feel like I want to hook up for a bit. I am also exploring self love to a greater depth! It seems to me that I shouldn’t just give that to anyone with a pretty face and a hot body... would love your opinions on the matter

[@TQsilva96k]

Hooking up is a temporary thrill. It gets old really quick and you'll find that unless you have a mental connection with the person it'll feel empty. I was dumped and tried it out and it wasn't all that.

[@kevinbucholtz6303]

TQsilva96k I guess my primary concern is weather or not meaningless hookups have a positive or negative affect on your self love... confidence maybe but what how we love ourselves?

[@TQsilva96k]

@@kevinbucholtz6303 I feel like we sometimes hook up with multiple people to fill the void that our exes created! If you know your worth you'll know that either way you won't need to hook up to know you're a catch. I also think it depends on your morals to determine if it Will effect your self love.

[@airynj8940]

Hey Rory! Will you do a video about no contact for long distance break ups?

[@cherrybacon5154]

I remember when I couldn't wait to be with my Ex. I felt committed to him. Utterly. Then at times when he was nasty to me, I wanted to leave but was afraid to in case I list him. On a couple of occasions I did leave. The last time was it for me. 🍒

[@lilasteeves3693]

As usual another great reading and right on base. Thank God for you. Sure has helped me alot. Hugsxx

[@timf99]

This was one of your really good ones Rory. 👍

[@pablosantiagojr.4595]

Facts over feelings guys

[@lindakafexholli7085]

Thank you for this video Rory. Much needed ❤️

[@TheLoveChat]

You are so welcome!

[@joshuaamoncio5148]

I need this ❤️❤️😭😭

[@DenTn30]

Hi Rory! Can you do a video on relationship green flags?

[@pablosantiagojr.4595]

Brother you are on point with this real talk. Thank you

[@Frolocki]

Hi Rory, Would like to know if you could. Why would NC work on the dumper if they already did their grieving and decided on the break up?

[@juliaw5838]

I was about to say Rory is overdue for a live chat.

[@PrettyChickitta]

Need some insight The Love Chat, what if social media specifically Instagram was the reason we fought. He doesn't want me to be an influencer while this has always been my dream before I even met him. We broke up because he thinks I chose Insta over him and he deleted me from everywhere. Although I gave him my password as this was his only condition, he still tried to create problems just to make me delete my account. He has no Instagram account, but of course he can check me as he knows my username. My question, would it still make him regret seeing me happy, active and following my dream on Instagram even though it was the reason we broke up? P.S. 6 years old LDR, engaged and were supposed to marry very soon. Thank you!

[@medikiki8567]

In NC for about 2 months now, my ex texted me at 1:30 am last night and said “do u want ur makeup back?” WTF??? I think he was also out drinking w his friends. I’m going to treat this like it means nothing. I’m going to be curt but respectful, Is that okay? the time he texted me at is throwing me off, I’m just confused and don’t feel like being super friendly and want to know if that’s ok.

[@Guerilla_G]

What if I inadvertently told my ex I was doing no contact before I found out about it?

[@pablosantiagojr.4595]

Dude you are awesome real as heck

[@Xfiles4123]

What if you entered a rebound relationship after a long term one, and now you think of both girls together, and feeling like your recovering from two relationships at once, especially since both are in relationships now and your not? Thanks

[@RolandBouZakhm]

Hi Rory! When is the next live chat ??

[@TheLoveChat]

Hi there! It's mentioned in this video - tomorrow at 7pm ET.

[@TacticalNuke321]

These days we need to control our inner animal

[@melodyluich7042]

Yes! See things for how they really ARE not how we WANT

[@jcwompo8419]

Why did my ex drunk call me at night and text me “...”? (Mind you i was asleep at that time) In the morning i called back we spoke for a lil she mentioned she was drunk and then she end call a few seconds later. Thats the last i heard from her

[@DavidJarvis01]

Want to go gym but they're still closed in my area :(

[@stevexapril7226]

How to start making no contact? Cannot resist after 5months :/

[@xXaeternumXx]

My ex texted me upset that she won’t get closure in person after she broke up with me ?? Anyone got advice lmao

[@lindarah3189]

Amen Rory!

[@Json2620]

You can’t see red flags through rose colored glasses.

[@ceubik6587]

I need help! So this girl was crazy over me in the beginning when we started dating, she couldn’t leave me alone and even wanted to have my kid before we even get to talk about family. And we been only dating for like 4 months. She bought me clothes, make food, give me massages and she loves my D. Not to brag it’s like she’s obsessed with my D idk. I wasn’t ready to take things that far. She told me about her last relationship and she said she always gets bored with all her previous ex after certain period of time. This 4th of July will be our first year but last month she told me she don’t love me anymore. She ask to stop everything and I said well, love sometimes fade away so I will give you time to go spend times with your friends and be yourself. She basically dump me. I ask her if we can slowly fix this, she said up to you so I was open to putting effort, but I still give her space and time. But we still see other like twice a week or once but this time she’s so disrespectful, everything she do annoys me now. I tried talking and she would just ignored and change completely different subjects. So yesterday I finally said, if you don’t want to love me and don’t want to put effort into this relationship, I’m letting you go, well she already let me go so I was just the only one trying by myself to fix it. I told her, I’m letting you go, let me know if you change your mind. She said okay I will let you know. That was it. Since that I don’t text her or call her. But she keeps calling me now, I haven’t answer her and she texted me saying “hello” I didn’t respond to it. She’s calling me as I type this smh. So what should I do? Should keep NC or remind her that she can only contact me only if she wants to to fix the relationship. Please help! Thanks Rory for all your video been watching them.

[@TheLoveChat]

I would begin to consider blocking her - she is not respecting you or your boundaries at all.

[@ceubik6587]

The Love Chat I know she’ll start calling me from other phones and possibly come over my place if I do that.

[@PatrickJ10]

Also this should have been a huge red flag to you. People tell you who they are. Leaving a relationship out of boredom? Everything becomes more routine after a while.. so guess whos next..

[@ceubik6587]

Patrick Jürgensen today, she call me and I didn’t answer. After about an hour she texted me and said “ we need to talk” “ I changed my mind” “ just call me”. So after about 3 hours, I called her and we talked. I think she got depressed since I was completely gone so I’m not sure why she changed her mind in just 3 days. I don’t know what to do next now. She clearly said she changed her mind and wants to work this out. And when I ask her when she wants go sit down and have a talk she’s not sure yet so I said just let me know any time and day that is good for you. For now, I don’t know what to do.

[@PatrickJ10]

@@ceubik6587 My dude, a couple of thoughts on that: 1. You asked her when and she said she doesnt know? If she wanted to be with you and work it out she would travel every distance to be with you right now. Action > Words 2. She wants to come back.. my guess is because she feels lonely right now. Also she cannot take your rejection at the moment. The moment she has you back it will be fine for 2 weeks and the same shit will happen again. So my suggestion: If you are already emotionally involved: Run and get over this mess asap. Never look back, find a girl that truly wants you. If you can handle it or want it: Let her come back but never take her seriously again. Dont spend too much time with her, dont get attached, have fun thats all. She is not a good partner for you.

[@kevinbucholtz6303]

I love you Rory, but macro-evolution is not possible!