3 keys to self love and acceptance (Good Will Hunting)

The 1997 film Good Will Hunting offers a fascinating glimpse into the healing power of self-love. Its message is especially relevant today, because in our society where self-criticism and self-blame are normalized, many of us suffer from a lack of self-compassion.
Over time, many of us end up internalizing unhealthy patterns until we don’t even notice them anymore, and our sense of self-worth becomes conditional. The unspoken assumption is that: “maybe after I’ve done all these things, I’ll finally deserve to be loved.”
The thing is, no one tells us how to build kind and trusting relationships with ourselves. The psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff is a pioneer in the area of Self-Compassion research. She developed the Self-Compassion Scales, wrote the book “Self-Compassion: the Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself,” and is a co-founder of the nonprofit “Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.”
So how do we practice self-compassion?
We’ll look at Dr. Neff’s 3 key elements of Self-Compassion in this video, and how you can use them to build a kinder relationship with yourself.
CHAPTERS
00:00 - The film Good Will Hunting (1997) and the power of self love
02:44 - My favorite scene from the film Good Will Hunting
04:01 - Self-criticism and self-blame are normalized in our society
04:45 - Dr. Kristin Neff’s research on Self-Compassion and 3 keys to self love
05:19 - Part One: Mindfulness
06:39 - Part Two: Recognition of the common human experience
08:20 - Part Three: Practicing self-compassion
10:21 - Part Four: Practicing self-compassion
#goodwillhunting #selflovepractices
This video is opinion based. Everything contained within this video is used for educational purposes and criticism, and falls within the doctrine of Fair Use. Fair Use allows for limited use of copyrighted material without requiring permission from the rights holders, such as commentary, criticism, news reporting, research, teaching or scholarship. Fair Use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing.
If you are or represent the copyright owner of any material used in this video and have a problem with the use of the same, please send a message to the email address indicated in the “About” section of this KZbin Channel.

[@rokun111]

“To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is trying its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” ee cummings ❤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Beautiful words, Robert! Thanks so much for sharing

[@anagomez9620]

Thank you Robert , 🙏🌅

[@enriquesanchez2001]

Modern Intuitionist ♥ Tonight I paused the video in the moment you explained how to feel compassion for oneself. I closed my eyes and began to feel the soft skin over my heart. I spoke to myself and told myself how much I love myself. I did this by calling my name as I spoke. It lasted a good long while, and then my tears began and I felt the love which I know I always deserved. The tears did not stop. But afterwards, a cathartic peace enveloped me. THANK YOU 🙏 PEACE ♥

[@powerplantbody8243]

Man... your channel is a blessing. So much practicable truth in less than 15 minutes. Grateful for your content, thanks! ❤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Taylor! Your support warms my heart so much to read, and I am grateful for you too. Big love to you and yours!

[@theyovilleshows]

you're a beautiful soul my friend, thank you!

[@caroljohnson5724]

Just found you and I’m binging your videos as I recover from an injury. Perfect timing. I love your videos. So soothing and comforting… even on the tough topics. I am still working on the self-love part. I’ve been doing The Work of Byron Katie for a couple years and it has been the most effective tool for overcoming my critical self. At the ripe old age of 60, I finally have learned to love and see myself as beautiful. In fact, to see everything as beautiful, equal and a blessing. Your videos are helping me understand why this works so well, according to the experts. 😉 Thanks for the excellent work.

[@lazmilo]

So glad I found your content. Yes, this GWH clip is among the most powerful moments in movie history because in addition to striking a chord with the child you once were, it also awakens the child archetype present in the soul, who feels abandonment every time you refuse to follow your purpose and live your true essence.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

I'm so glad you found me too, Lazar, and I'm so grateful for your continued support! You said it so beautifully. Big love to you and yours!

[@rickduque5799]

So glad this channel found me, thank you algorithm!

[@bridgetteswenson52]

Thank you for sharing! Your videos are so amazing!

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Bridgette! I am so grateful for your continued support

[@Theowlhawk]

Was just thinking of this film and now watching this video!!!!! Good will hunting, one of m favourite films. Watched it flying to Canada many moons ago

[@yohanesdony]

🤍Can't wait to see your next video 🖤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Yohanes!

[@haitiankid9456]

Your videos are so good and underrated bro, love the editing and clips mixed with helpful info, you will keep on rising, keep up the good work 🔥

[@ChanyeolsHaneul]

💖 I have no words. This is what are called synchronicity? I was just thinking how do I suppose to fix my life when I hardly like my life at all or who I am. I been trying ( and failing) with self love since I was a toddler practically. Your videos always feel me with awe.💖

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Moon! As always I am so grateful for your continued support. I can relate because self-compassion has been a struggle for me too. May you continue to heal your inner child

[@louhaz2812]

Same same samee desperate enough to find one way to help me love myself I stumbled upon this channel and i can say.. I'm glad I did; really glad

[@jennifermoody6987]

"See I just want you to know That you deserve the best You're beautiful You're beautiful And I want you to know You're far from the usual Far from the usual" ~Lil Wayne~ If nobody has told you they love you, ALL OF YOU, good AND bad, inside AND out, just the way you are right NOW, WELL I LOVE YOU without conditions or requirements, no matter what.. You are enough and absolutely worthy and deserving of the best.. Just remember these words, and never let the pain that comes with being human, stop you from living and loving every chance you get.. Love is the TRUTH and it's all that you need to overcome ANYTHING because NOTHING is more powerful than LOVE.. STAY BLESSED NEVER STRESSED 🙏 ~ME~

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Beautifully said, Jennifer! Thank you for taking the time to share these wonderful insights, I appreciate you!

[@ethanwhitehouse22]

I have always been my biggest critic. ❤️

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much for sharing, EWhite! Self-compassion has been a life-long journey for me too. May you continue to heal your inner child

[@mysticgardener2704]

❤ deepest gratitude for this message.

[@son333ful]

Thank you so much my dear friend for your channel and content. It is truly a blessing. I feeling the healing.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Thokchom! I appreciate you, my friend!

[@silvertree3181]

Always good value. ☺️I’m sure many of us, myself included, can relate to this topic. Appreciate your content and your contribution. Blessings ❤️☺️🙌

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Silver Tree! I always appreciate your kind and thoughtful comments, and overall support. Big love to you and yours!

[@RoasterRoaster]

When I'm feeling down and depressed, I come to your channel. Your soothing voice and mesmerizing contents certainly have the healing power ❤ Thank you for all your amazing work 💗💖

[@ModernIntuitionist]

I can't tell you how much your continued support means to me, Yayoi! Thanks so much my friend, and big love to you and yours!

[@mscarmnescence]

FEELS LIKE SYNCHRONICITY, what was I needed earlier is being given. Thank you for saving my life. I was in the process of maturity and awakening. I had these addicting way of thinking negative because, I was use to being alone and left alone. Now, I am still grateful that at least I am conscious of what I'm thinking. Mastery of self-compassion and reminder of it is what I need.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Big love to you and yours Carmnescence, as you continue to move towards self-compassion. I am rooting for you.

[@Coconutoilcrazy]

As another comment said, this resonates with many of us. I have made progress and recently came across the action of Breaking Patterns. Drive a different way to work, get up in the morning and walk, rather than sitting down for coffee, brush your teeth with the opposite hand etc.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Wonderful suggestions Mama Myrt! Thanks so much for taking the time to share that. I'm so heartened to hear about the progress you've made. Big love to you and yours!

[@parellano100]

...and to think we were told self-love is being selfish. We are much more powerful than we've been told. 💫

[@abdo1youtube]

thank you a lot for this peaces of art, I'm talking about the work and the quality of your videos 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 don't stop this is amazing 💪💪

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Abdo! I appreciate you!

[@katwyrdreit]

Your insight is like a cool drink of water on a hot day.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Kat! I am so grateful for your support

[@Abrpatel]

Amazing video on both the importance of self love and the first steps to take to actually start the journey there! A very valuable message in a time where love is both marketed and reinforced by actions of society as a whole that it is conditional. Love is an energy source of its own with power that even rivals all the energy generated by the sun and its life giving light. Just because we can't see it like the air we walk through, doesn't mean that not only does it not exist but it touches us and shapes us moment to moment. Lets love ourselves as that is the first step to loving others.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much my friend, really beautiful said once again. Looking forward to see more content from you. I hope you're well, big love to you and yours!

[@Abrpatel]

@@ModernIntuitionist Big love to you and yours too :)

[@user-ws5xp4ns5d]

I don’t know why but I’m crying and I can’t even explain it

[@AimeeLiz]

❤ OK, this is the one! ❤ I've been sharing inspirational quotes, stories and videos with my class each Monday, hoping to get our week started with optimism. I'm finding that this helps them develop empathy and they are more likely to speak and act with compassion towards themselves and each other. Last week I shared the quote from Michael J. Fox "With gratitude, optimism is sustainable." And the entire class agreed that the week was awesome! Tomorrow, I will be sharing this video. Thank you Elson. This is exactly what I have been looking for.

[@empoweredempath]

My first foray into feeling like I belonged in the world was while meditating one day, realizing that I am a creation of Earth and of the Cosmos, so I must belong. I felt such a sense of peace wash over me, I clung to the thought and the feeling. Later, listening to a collective trauma talk, Thomas Huebel said that we are the planet living. Such a beautiful phrase to embody that feeling I had. Now, I often repeat that to myself during meditations, and I always have that peaceful feeling and sense of belonging wash over me. ❤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

That's such a beautiful and eloquent phrase: we are the planet living. It's so true. Thank you for taking the time to share that, EE! I appreciate you

[@LisaCulton]

Great video. This is a very important message!

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Lisa! You're the best, I hope you're doing great

[@LisaCulton]

@@ModernIntuitionist Moving forward, healing!

[@ModernIntuitionist]

@@LisaCulton Sending positive and healing intentions and vibes your way, Lisa. Take good care, and big love to you and yours

[@LisaCulton]

@@ModernIntuitionist Thank you so much! 💗 You are always giving us something that we need.

[@jaredfarney675]

❤️ this was good. I'm in the point in my journey where I take on reparenting the injured child within. I can see how the technique will assist in opening that door and being gentle with the process but not lax. Overcoming alcohol and depression were just the first layers of the Onion that is Jared. It's much easier now, but not easy. I've thrown Excalibur into the lake a few times, but you know how that goes. Hope you are well on your journey my friend.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you for taking the time to share your experience and process, Jared! Big love to you and yours as you continue your positive path of healing. I'm rooting for you, my friend!

[@kjkeating]

❤ Bless you

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Kathleen! Blessings to you and yours

[@mimilovejoy3978]

This was more than needed

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, MiMilovejoy! I appreciate you, and wishing love and prosperity to you and yours

[@vincentvalentine3618]

🍞 Thank you....

[@tomitomlin-buening5747]

Thank you ❤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

You're so welcome, Tomi! Thank you!

[@aniketpathak5679]

Love you man, thanks for your work.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

You are so welcome Aniket! Your continued support means a lot to me, big love to you and yours, my friend!

[@adm7r]

i'm in a bad mental and physical state. every day the same cycle of self loathing. full of negativity. full of addictions. full of patterns i'm unable to break free from. the happy child i am from inside is just not able to live. this channel came as a blessing. i promise you i will be kinder to myself. i love myself for everything i've gone through. no one saw me in that situation, but i survived. with all the tears and pain i still survived. i'm still surviving. but this soul deserves better, i will treat it better. thank you.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

You're so welcome, adm7r! I'm rooting for you, my friend

[@jennifermoody6987]

I sincerely pray with all my heart and soul that you continue sharing your work with the world dear beautiful soul.. your channel is impactful and has the extraordinary potential to help so many in this world who desperately need it.. I commend your dedication and determination to bring all the vital information to the world that you do so selflessly.. BRAVO 👏 👏 👏 SENDING YOU, AND ALL WHO WISH TO RECEIVE IT, SO MUCH LOVE, PEACE, LIGHT AND INFINITE BLESSINGS ❤❤STAY BLESSED NOT STRESSED 😊😊

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Wow, thanks so much Jennifer! What an incredibly kind comment, it warmed my heart to read and really made my day. "Stay blessed not stressed" I love that! Big love to you and yours, and infinite blessings to you as well.

[@jennifermoody6987]

@@ModernIntuitionist I'm delighted to have been able to brighten your day the way you brightened mine darlin! I love that you enjoyed my life's motto "Stay blessed not stressed".. lol.. whenever someone asks me how I'm doing or how I've been my response is always " I'm too blessed to be stressed" lol.. I'm hoping it spreads and more people start to use it because it's been life changing for me.. MUCH LOVE

[@kypie8]

Beautiful video. ❤ It’s so important to be able to forgive yourself for past transgressions, learn from them & keep moving forward. How would we ever grow intellectually or spiritually in the absence of mistakes? Metaphorically, I view mistakes as being bricks that all stack up together to ultimately create a strong foundation for which a structure (ourself) is built upon. I also think of it as being similar to how a diamond is formed. Without high amounts of pressure & heat (trials & tribulations) a diamond in all its splendor & strength would never even exist! ✨💎✨

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Really beautifully said, KyPie! Thanks so much for taking the time to share your wonderful insights.

[@kypie8]

@@ModernIntuitionist 🙏 My pleasure!Thank *you* for making consistently awesome content 💝

[@alaura0396]

Wow, this is gold

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Alaura! I appreciate you!

[@johnstutzer8664]

Synchronicity happening here for me. It goes right to the core of my main issue, and like Will Hunting, only dealt with it in a superficial way. Thank you

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, John! The journey to self compassion is a difficult but very rewarding one. Wishing you peace, power, and strength as you heal your inner child. Big love to you and yours, my friend!

[@tonyasanderson9171]

Thank you! 💜 💚🤗

[@ModernIntuitionist]

You're so welcome, Tonya! Thank you!

[@mwalter35]

I love this video and all the others!! So well put together! Better than anything out there that I've seen.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much Mike! Your kind comment really made my day, and I'm so grateful for your continued support. Big love to you and yours!

[@metronomarts]

Thank you !

[@ModernIntuitionist]

You're so welcome, Metronom Arts! Thank you

[@robertdabob8939]

Great stuff! 🙏

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Robert! I hope you're well, take good care!

[@dustyr112]

Love your videos, mate!

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Dustin! I'm so grateful for your support

[@lisawhite2935]

❤!!! So happy to see you today!!! ❤ Thank You!!

[@ModernIntuitionist]

I'm so happy to see you too, Lisa! Thanks so much for your continued support. I appreciate you!

[@lisawhite2935]

😃🥰

[@ccwhatsnew]

That was educational. Thank you 💗

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much!

[@monicagamble7694]

Thank you

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you, Monica!

[@Nisha.......]

I love this channel ❤️❤️

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Nisha! I am so grateful for your continued support. Big love to you and yours

[@Nisha.......]

@@ModernIntuitionist thanks a lot

[@joergmueller4439]

So true!!! 👍

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Joerg! I appreciate you

[@deniececlermonts5746]

❤

[@JonathanChuMD]

Hi Elson - this video was such a cool way to integrate your expertise in psychology! I haven't seen Good Will Hunting since I was in middle school, but I remember it being a very good story with awesome performances, especially Robin Williams, who really was a once-in-a-generation actor. I may have to revisit the film again sometime, especially since it is such an important work in cinematic history, and also to appreciate many of the cool insights you discussed in this video. Tbh, I wasn't really a fan of Thor's portrayal in some of the later Marvel films, but I think it's so awesome you were able to weave the Avengers into your thesis and presentation. I never really thought of the self-compassion aspect of Thor's journey in Endgame, but I found your analysis very insightful. Thinking of it now, perhaps many of the Marvel and DC comic stories are deeper than we realize and have a lot of more profound themes when you study them. Winter Soldiers is probably my favorite Marvel Universe film, and does a pretty good job of exploring the ethics of the rising surveillance state and such, and the Dark Knight has so many awesome thematic layers that it would warrant its own video haha. Keep up the amazing work Elson, I think it is really unique and valuable how you are able to integrate both psychology and spirituality into your work!

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Jonathan! I was also gutted by the loss of Robin Williams, he was one of my favourite actors. I totally agree about the threat of rising surveillance and I often think back to the video you made on how all governments naturally tend towards greater authoritarianism, and that freedom/democracy are anomaly. It's up to each generation to push back on such overreach. As always, I am so grateful for your feedback and support. I look forward to your next video as well!

[@toeguides]

dude i'm so stoked to see your content getting the recognition it deserves. would you be open to doing a video on my book?

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Wow, thanks so much Toe, what an honour! Thank you also for supporting me from the very beginning, I am so grateful for that! At the moment I am trying to juggle several commitments and have a long backlog of material I'd like to cover, and am trying navigate all of these commitments. It's obvious to me from our interactions that you're a lucid thinker and communicator, and you offer a unique and insightful perspective I haven't seen before, so I'm certain your book is excellent. Voices like yours are very much needed today, and I think you'd be an exceptional content creator. I have subscribed to your channel, and look forward to seeing what you come up with. Big love to you and yours!

[@cutellectiblesbydorismesin1932]

💗

[@jacquizbak]

My vision board since i moved into an RV is my bathroom/commode closet...those words "may i be safe, may i be peaceful, may i be kind to myself, may i accept my life as it is" are read every day...numerous times thru out the day ~ my goal when i retired was to learn/discover n heal myself...n what a wonderful journey it has been...not an easy one not always pleasant yet it has been incrementally destined 2b feel safe...peace-filled...practice kindness...accepting/serenity...life is good n it keeps getting better ~ if that IS our end goal eh!?!!7:59Am2/27/2023

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you sharing your journey to self-kindness and healing, Jacqui!

[@SaleemRanaAuthor]

💗 Another profound video! In answer to your question, I've found the yogic practices of pranayama and meditation to be helpful in developing my self-compassion. Through these practices, I've become more aware of the fluctuations of subtle energy within my body. This awareness has helped me trust my feelings and intuition and use them as guidance.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your powerful experiences with that, Saleem! Really wonderful to hear. I'm grateful as always for your continued support. Big love to you and yours!

[@felixflexin777]

Make a tutorial video, how to video like this

[@Andrea-Rose]

💚💚💚

[@sayusayme7729]

Always embracing knowledge to life 🫧

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you, Sayusayme!

[@NowNZen]

💜💜💜

[@na-vn5jx]

❤🧡💛💚💙💜💖 Wow 😍😍 phenomenal as always Elson, this video was truly amazing!! Thank you so so much for sharing! 😊😊☺☺ My tip to anyone who would like it 😊 a way to also realise some self love through love we have been given:🤗❤ Write about a moment of love between yourself and someone, or a pet (no right or wrong). Feel all that love, reminisce. When you write about that love, dig deep. Try to think back to the moments where you felt love in most abundance with them, it can really help! Write about it in as much detail as possible. 😊😊🤗🤗🤗 Then you have your own love story you can read and re read over and over 🤗🤗❤❤ even if a platonic one ^-^ you can go back and relive pure moments of love you have felt and known in your life! ^-^ ❤❤❤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Really wonderful tip, thanks so much NA for sharing that with all of us. Journaling is such a powerful thing to do, and recalling moments of love we've experienced is such a wonderful thing to do. Much love to you and yours!

[@na-vn5jx]

@@ModernIntuitionist Thank you Elson, I send so so much light and love to you 🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤😊😊😊 and you all! I am so greatful for your reply, you are beyond kind as always 🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤ and once again I am so greatful for your amazing channel in which so much love is always felt!! 🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤ We are so lucky to have your divinely timed videos ☺☺☺🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤words really can not express how much they mean to me 🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤ and i know they mean so much to all who find themselves here!! 😊😊😊 Thank you for being you, such an incredible beacon of light!!! ☺☺☺🤗🤗🤗😊😊😊❤❤❤

[@8no1likeme-infinitestar65]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@barborka0550]

💛

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you, Barborka!

[@seftystefan7709]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Andrea-Rose]

💖💖💖

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you Andrea!

[@ExterminationMaster]

How do you know if its shadow or wounded inner child?

[@markfitz4370]

Good stuff, but you need to turn your volume up!!! ALL of your videos do this. It's annoying!

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks for the heads up, Mark. I'll look into it for future videos. I edit using Final Cut Pro X and my audio is already at the maximum decibel level in that software program I'm using, but I'll see if there's a way to increase it further. Cheers!

[@someone-wo5nu]

your math is wrong because inbreeding is surprisingly more common in rural areas than one would like to belive

[@kellymusulin668]

❤‍🩹 I needed this especially today. I know I am being heard. Purchased the book too. Thank you.

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thanks so much, Kelly! May you continue to find self-compassion and heal your inner child.

[@suesun328]

Thank you ❤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

You're so welcome, Sue! Thank you

[@TheMaryDoll]

❤

[@theunraveler]

💗

[@francescopili1286]

❤

[@sheheryarmalik3717]

❤

[@atejoo4186]

❤

[@elenitsoni]

❤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you, Eleni!

[@nocas2022]

❤️

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you, Maria!

[@_shinythoughts_]

❤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you, Angela!

[@streptomyces]

❤

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you, Streptomyces!

[@PeepalPawan]

♥️

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you, Pulkit!

[@greenkings1690]

♥️

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you Greenkings!

[@HidayetMusician]

♥️

[@ModernIntuitionist]

Thank you, Hidayet!