3 Steps to Deal with a Manipulator |

[@SunnyFly100]

Here is how to respond to manipulation: leave.

[@zeeonthemap376]

Yes!

[@quantaVastitude2021]

​@@zeeonthemap376sometimes u can't leave

[@somdeb24]

Yeah simple. But sometimes you can’t ignore/leave depending on the scenario.

[@coreytallman7759]

Probably true I most cases but with family there is an entanglement of other people's emotions too. Unless you are willing to leave everyone behind, there has to be some sort of control over yourself, or you are seen as the problem. People don't like to see the truth, so the one causing the disruption gets blamed even if it is justified. Are you ready to walk away, or is there some sort of middle ground?

[@threewishes777]

Not when dealing with teenagers in classroom.

[@loufacey-muench4733]

You are so right! Some thrive on getting others to react as they maintain their cool. When she could no longer get a rise out of me after trying a few times, the drama stopped.

[@Thegirl440]

This is so true and they show their true motive

[@randyscheller1119]

Agreed. Giving no response or reaction to manipulative behavior is a response. And a very powerful one. Stay calm. Don't engage.

[@ghembrain]

How Inneed to know how to keep calm when they take over

[@bibekjung7404]

ALMIGHTY GOD KABIR is the father of all souls that JESUS, MOHAMMAD, GURU NANAK, VEDH was telling in BIBLE, QURAN, GURU GRANTHA SAHEB LIVING BEING IS OUR RACE,MANKIND IS OUR RELIGION HINDU,MUSLIM,SIKH,CRISTAIN,THERE IS NO SEPARATE RELIGION PRESENT MESSENGER of ALMIGHTY GOD KABIR is SAINT RAMPALJI MAHARAJ 🙏🙏😊😊

[@celissewillis9399]

With narcissistic individuals, it's called grey rocking... in other words, you need to withdraw emotions completely & become the most boring version of yourSelf ie show no emotion when they're trying to poke the bear... many of them will get pissed & try to emotionally manipulate you ie guilt trip you, for not reacting to whatever they're trying to get you to react to... if you're empathic, you NEED to learn to have emotional intelligence & not feel bad for it, because you're protecting your wellbeing! It's literally a necessary life lesson & part of overall SELF mastery.

[@AbbasAli-kd1xc]

This was just wow lady ❤. I had been in this situations several time and making myself feeling at guilt that I can't even simply repond emotionally, ❤❤

[@Zzz2x]

Book suggestions anyone??

[@libra-beotch]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@whoami3021]

CUT through the manipulator. Control your emotion be Calm composed, Unfazed appearance: serene voice, Turn off engagement: engage in your thoughts n works.

[@sachiakina19]

If someone lowers your vibration, don't engage. That's how you'll know. Manipulative people will pull you down. Let vibration be your guidance.

[@Thejacka47]

Exactly, well said

[@J.5.M.]

What is vibration?

[@studiomridge2491]

Narcissist also use this same tactic after they gas light their victims and then act nonchalantly/indifferent or use silent treatment as their victims clammer/seek for answers and question their actions. * The narcissist silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse where one person in the relationship ignores the other with no explanation for an extended period of time (days, weeks, months). The purpose of this is to punish or manipulate their significant other into acting differently. * Narcissists enjoy that you wish to discuss things with them. The greater your reaction to their obtuse behavior, the greater the supply for them.

[@dillp2267]

It’s so hard to remember her points when you’re with a narcissist. Their comments tend to come out of left field and catch you off guard.

[@blancaduran2122]

I told one to go to therapy!

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

​@@dillp2267Very hard because manipulative presence is very dominant so it's as if it blocks the room to think clear, breathe and decide your response. Narcissists don't listen anyway and are often quick with replies. Unfortunately 😕

[@annalisa1038]

Not the one I know

[@Living_On_The_Edge444]

​@@annalisa1038 ikr, i wish the one that likes to stalk & harrass me would give me the silent treatment- and never speak to me again! .. like Forever. 😫😆😂😆

[@searcywhite4551]

Self control is superior to conquest; self mastery is supreme power!!!

[@Thejacka47]

Agreed

[@ghfan2011]

I don’t have the emotional energy to do all this when it comes to dealing with my mother in law. It’s much easier to just avoid contact with manipulators as much as possible.

[@J.5.M.]

If there is a manipulator in your workplace her advice is good. Also you can't always avoid family (i.e. family gatherings, obligations)

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

They also try to push your buttons through insults and verbal attacks to get you to explain and defend yourself.

[@zeeonthemap376]

Yes! This!

[@sangeetha279]

Very true, they up their game until, they get a emotional reaction, by stressing and guilt tripping and gas lighting

[@lisacranmer8005]

or give me a look like I'm crazy when they are lying to keep peace and quiet so the facade is kept going on with the games..

[@Sana-su2se]

Omg yes It’s true! They say things that you don’t even imagine..

[@ChristyQQ1]

Also, they'll do everything to get others to see them as a victim because you haven't behaved a certain way so you get even more passive aggressive behavior from others.

[@hindavinasery2338]

It's true .. controlling emotions is the key !! .. thank you so much 🙏 ..

[@masonstevenr]

I needed this more than you will ever know. I feel like I just won the lottery of validation

[@AmnRavenloft]

I think this is called "Grey Rock-ing". I've done this to a coworker whos bullied me for 4 months after I didnt cover a last minute half shift for her which would have resulted in me working 12 straight hours on 2 hours of sleep. In certain circumstances they will just escalate. So at the fist sign of bullying at work begin keeping documentation of everything and report it immediately. Delete nothing. The only thing that stopped the bullying was showing it all to my boss and saying if it didnt end I was taking it all to HR for them to handle.

[@warblerbg]

If I can make it thru even just step one, hey! That's progress. I agree this is what I need to do, but easier said than done. Especially with parents, and those with narcissistic tendencies. 😅 I often give my power away in stress/trauma response to fawn, rescue, please or fight. It's taking years of practice to get a little better each time. 🎉

[@watermelonsugar6909]

Gosh you just read my mind. Same problem for me tooo.

[@amulyadeepthi]

Wow i did just that the other day! Felt so Proud of my self 😀🙏

[@aliciabushman7806]

Yes. Great reminder to stay centered. Having some kind of meditation practice when you are not around the narcissistic, makes being centered more automatic. I am very sensitive and able to pick up on other people's feelings. They get confused and lost when they can't effect you.

After living 25 years with a narcissistic mother, I figured it out by myself. I've been using this technique in the last year 😄

[@deneb3]

Your videos are so empowering😊

[@ShadeZahrai]

Glad you like them!

[@sumankumarghosh9835]

3 outstanding advices to deal with this real world problem! thank you ShadeZahrai! ❤

[@acb7634]

This is very true. When I learnt it, life became more peaceful and then the person left

[@nicolebenson4517]

I’ve been “grey rock” for years with my father in law. Don’t respond to anything he does or says. Keep calm. Screen into your pillow at home! These people are broken, cruel and evil. All we can do is pray for them, but not allow them to prey on us.

[@cosmicbrownie333]

I do this all the time. The only times I’ve had someone scream, cry, yell, get pissed at me was when I was perfectly calm and neutral to the negativity they were presenting me with (supervisors, friends, romantic partners, customers, family members etc). It’s hilarious to see tbh once you realize they’re mad because they realize they have no power.

[@filmyfatafatIndia]

Also question them to catch them off-guard, it can also distract them and they'll realise you won't get manipulated

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Yes by asking them questions bevause manipulators use asking questions as well to corner their target.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Good one. It's using their own weapon against them since manipulators ask questions to corner their 'target'.

[@krishradio1]

This was really great tips. Manipulators are a tough bunch to handle. Thanks Shadé.

[@lahongwan4440]

That's the truth controlling your emotions is the key, thank you so much for your good advice and your support God bless 🙏❤

[@WasimTrades]

She’s 100% right especially on the last one. Most manipulators for the least want you in the drama, if they can’t manipulate you that’s enough for them.

[@CPLBSS88]

There is a fine line here than can easily be misunderstood/misused and could easily derail a good conversation or worse; damage a healthy relationship if done with someone that is not trying to be manipulative. The "silent treatment" may also be the person shutting down because you did something/pushed too hard/weren't listening.... have to be very carful with these simple rules and guides.

[@lafemmesociety7860]

That doesn’t always work. Sometimes they get even more pissed because they’re not getting the reaction they wanted

[@annaisis7510]

Just make a deadly hurtful statement in a calm voice and walk away

[@jennitamonteiro9728]

If u do that action, which was done, they are more pissed n feel they are losing the power to win their manipulation game. They attack more vigorously... It's a never ending closing matter. Better way to remain is remain silent at times. Whatever they say complete ignore... Block off them from yr mind.

[@JH-aTimeForEverything]

It works, the key is for us to have the discipline to not be thwarted into giving in every time they up the ante. Eventually they will give up, but don’t give them the satisfaction of changing your resolve. Rise above it the cesspool. Don’t give up…your human rights, your right to exist in a safe world is NOT TO BE BARTERED WITH. Don’t move the line. Protect it like you would a child or a friend or a beloved pet. Go home and cry, put their picture on a pillow and go ham on it if you need to, but then get back out there and show them your sovereignty is not up for sale. They can’t have your sovereignty if you don’t give it to them.

[@sindhus2s]

better to avoid them as much as you can.... only this helps...

[@lina478]

Thank you so much for this information. It is hard to control emotions with manipulators.

[@horespasco]

This is the best advice I have ever heard! You are a true genius! Love from Germany 🇩🇪 ❤❤❤❤

[@srikarravoori124]

❤

[@AkhtarM28]

Well, there’s no winning with these people. Even if they don’t win the argument, they definitely win over the spectators. I have a sibling like that. You get into an argument with her and soon enough she’d find a way to be offended and emotional, may be some waterworks 😂 too. What it does is that it convinces anyone that you’re in the wrong. You’ve probably been disrespectful or rude. Why else would she be shedding tears right? It also doesn’t help that you are calm and collected. Human mind is such, we tend to take sides with people who seem the most affected or hurt; not necessarily someone who’s in the right.

[@fawzeeyah22]

❤❤❤❤❤ this! Thank you ShadeZahrai!

[@longpipe31]

I just needed to hear this at this moment :)

[@NadineCassar-er3by]

Even I

[@gayatrimurthy4499]

These tips just make life easy✨

[@alishahkhan6484]

^

[@smoothsentient]

i recommended this wonderful lady to everyone, she is definitely a muse... maybe i would have the pleasure to meet her someday :=)

[@ShadeZahrai]

Too kind sir. 🙏

[@honorsutton919]

WOW!! Powerful message! 🙌🏽🙏🏽♥️

[@rajatchakraborty6381]

one of the thoughtful teacher on KZbin love love

[@LarandaWalker32]

Thank u❤ I’m so learning this!! This is so powerful❤ I am excited to see how change I’m my life!!

[@vanessamartz7596]

My first thought when someone tries manipulative behavior is " what power do I have?, what power do they have?".

[@kathleenreyes4345]

Great guidance! Thank you❤

[@bharsanta5029]

Ahh.. thanks for this..🙏it’s much needed in today’s life… It has taken me many many years to even realize n understand..’oh that person was a manipulator’.. The points u mentioned.. need to practice.

[@ShadeZahrai]

Glad it was helpful!

[@ashaakula5530]

I have faced this n I always get carried away when people manipulate...This video gave me a clear view of how to avoid such toxicity

[@Moonlight11601]

Shadé sometimes it’s difficult when they’re so provocative ! What to do 😮

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Maybe next time just yawn in their face.😊

[@zeeonthemap376]

Leave them

[@ghembrain]

My problem exactly

[@ashton1952]

Your power is in not reacting. Look at them in a calm and attentive way as they rant, then respond with I'm sorry you feel that way. Works

[@JH-aTimeForEverything]

Moonlight, do you play games? You gotta think about this like you gotta level up to go up against the boss. The boss is not gonna be a walk in the park. That means YOU have to make hard choices. That’s how you level up. Stop listening to your “comfort zone” and get out there to level up. Sitting on the couch watching Netflix isn’t going to prepare you for a marathon. You know in your heart what to do, the problem is you’re uncomfortable doing it. The good thing is this means you actually have way more power than you give yourself credit for. Start tracking your patterns and prioritize which you need to work on first. Make a spreadsheet if you need to! Go from there and watch videos, read books, get counselings, and put it all into practice to start disrupting the CONDITIONING. it’s like a cult, you gotta deprogram yourself and it’s not going to feel good, but you’ll be so proud of yourself when you start hurting those benchmarks. Engineer your own software and operating system. You can do it.

[@Sonny-rl7rg]

Needed this for dealing with my 16 year old son! Thank you so much!!!🔥🔥

[@metamorfoza1000]

Thank you for this . Randomly come on my feed whilst going through difficult times with the spouse

[@AmandaZ-ft2ow]

With Deep Gratitude! ! !❤⚜️❤ Blessed Be! ! !❤🙏❤

[@turdFerguson565]

It’s fascinating. Though some call it professional guidance. A weak manipulator is aggressive. Which is what this dear lady is referring to. The worst manipulator is subtle. Because you will only ever see what they want you to see. A very common method to watch for is when you want to put someone or thing down. You’d think the manipulator would just mention their bad qualities. But no. You put on pedestal and approve of their strengths to the point where they become a vice. If someone is nicknamed “Mr Clean” a manipulator will over emphasize that point so the other person will start to question it. Why? Because you must first get behind someone before stabbing them in the back metaphorically speaking. Then you praise his faults by defending them. People love to prove others wrong so they will automatically cast doubt on the subject. Be careful out there.

[@alignmentnumerology3239]

That's messed up... screwball thinking.

[@turdFerguson565]

@@alignmentnumerology3239 Dear lady, I’ll admit I’m rather intrigued by your response. I’d love to hear why. Is it simply frightening that it is clever albeit slimy? Unfortunately with the current crisis of people not wanting to work it has made a shift in how many low level manipulators get manger positions. Those with the intellect to do so can remove the bothersome pests by using this method.

[@BEN_MONK]

Very thoughtful advice. I will follow it as much as I can.

[@Ultramel147]

Even seeing Mads Mikkelsen for a second made me so happy.

[@umadethatup2]

Thankyou... I really needed to hear this 🕊️

[@karenrojas2275]

Awesome advice! Thank you!

[@CommStudies]

Nice work on your content, I find it insightful. I am working on a study where participants interact with a sociopath in one scenario and a psychopath in a second scenario. The aim is to assess how the tendencies of both impact the participants and to consider what methods can be used to identify and neutralize the aggression of both.

[@jeromedevotta3406]

thanks❤i needed this right now . at work

[@Sifd]

I wanna see this work out when they manipulate you by giving you positive and good vibes to make you feel nice and safe to trust them and then practically maintain that forever making you not realize a manipulation is ever happening in the first place (The video advice is still valid but now you have to stop yourself from feeling nice)

[@theresaandrade5708]

You turn it around by watching them and their reactions rather than allowing them to play with you like a toy.

[@shwetanksharma5214]

best piece of advice ever given by someone

[@obughan2266]

Totally true ! Thank u !

[@helenellsworth9556]

you just stated what narcs do, thank you 😊

[@Sugar-o6r]

Thanks it's very hard to stay calm I not involved with this person he lives where I live he keeps up his tactics I stay away don't talk to him still he keeps trying to manipulate me due to the bills we have to pay really really appreciate your words❤❤❤

[@SharonWoodin]

Emotional Intelligence 👍

[@abinyturbo4x476]

Oh Shade....where have you been all these years.....😁😄......so much pain .....good counter tactics

[@Boba_Cat161]

It’s so hard to manipulate me, not that I’m special. I thought I have trust issues because I can smell b*llsh*t from a far…

[@karmasAmuther]

Having to live like this is so draining! Couldn't take it anymore it almost took me out! Thank God I don't have to live like that and never will again! These ppl are just so low vibration it's not even worth a word!

[@horespasco]

This is pure science, I’m an Engineer and this was what I wanted to hear!!

[@b.maaouiamarwa7798]

Thank you very much 100 % Agreed

[@Jarcano8]

So Right On.

[@seunadelusi2549]

I love your channel. Could you talk more on this subject as I face this almost everyday at work. Thank you.

[@shadybabe0711]

Then there are people out there that accuse someone of trying to manipulate them when that’s not actually the case and the person showing no emotions it’s just a coldhearted person who doesn’t know how to communicate and won’t

[@Living_On_The_Edge444]

Yep .. seen that happen just bcs the emotionally cold person had no empathic skills, and wanted to shut the so-called "manipulator" down.. Those kind are the last people to turn to if going through rough time!

[@SmokeyBear0999]

These make my day

[@alexthorsman3186]

Thank you, Shade.

[@JimmyBlack3308]

Thanks Shade. I really needed this. I’m going to practice this. ❤

[@priyaramdoo4762]

I am so grateful to you..I really needed this short and precisely helpful short video

[@ShadeZahrai]

Glad it was helpful!

[@MrYatesj1]

LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!

[@aachmanpandey5892]

This what I needed 😊😊

[@vidhigandhi5795]

Thankyou so much! It would be so much better if you gave an example! 😊

[@KiranAlapati-cm4wc]

You... Said.. Is... Correct

[@sangeetabocki]

Being mindful around the conversation helps.

[@chivalrynvalour]

Your content is truly remarkable! Each video holds tremendous value to the discerning

[@katyb2793]

sometimes they get worse and worse until they're doing things you can't ignore because it's way beyond unacceptable...

[@0666user]

A big Thank you for this.

[@ToriiVii.Legiterally]

I needed this advice a decade ago 😮‍💨😅😭🥂

[@nadineelizabeth195]

Perfect while dealing with parents that have manipulative behaviour

[@annefitz7346]

This is MUCH MORE DIFFICULT than you describe!!!!

[@ShadeZahrai]

It takes conscious practice to develop the skill.

[@vb5969]

May be maintain expressionless face....

[@gamelogical]

@@vb5969 no it doesnt work when that person takes pride in insulting you. you just have to tell them to stay in their limits and dont let them cross that boundaries. I just did that and now i am happier then ever.took me and one of my friend to realise 7 years

[@bavman2130]

That’s awesome, thank you.

[@Mysticlens]

This is really tough sometimes. I love the advice but recently was in a situation where my director consistently was contradicting himself and almost trying to get a rise out of me by his statements. After dealing with mental abuse from a recent relationship that I separated from this triggered me so much and I shut down a lot during the meeting and it threw me into an anxiety attack for days after

[@Emotionally_Mature]

Ignore their advances and act like you don’t understand ANYTHING they’re saying. Reply calmly to their questions WITH a question. You’ll see their brain start to malfunction and melt. Hehe 😂 Just saying.

[@Emotionally_Mature]

When they start, just ask Questions like, “what do you mean”, and, “why do you ask”? Those are VERY good questions to reply to them with because they’ll have to try and generate a Lie really quickly which will result in their brain having temporary overload. 😂 If you remain calm while you do this you’ll see them melt. Then you can leave and still have your energy in tact! 😊🤣

[@raquelandtingtingthecat9342]

Thanks for your advice and sharing motivational talks and this explains about the people drama , manipulator yah ,I should control my emotions 😢yes agree to what you say , Happy New year too 😍 Happy New Year, 💖🎉

[@natashasemrau3670]

Just ignore these players.❤❤❤

[@sandeepshah7683]

Very well explained

[@searchforit7097]

I dont know how but after so many years of being with one of the manipulators I naturally developed this Nice work forming a structure for others

[@lew2227]

Amazing. Thank you!

[@keifabreen1871]

Thanks. I needed that

[@AkkMobile-u6y]

thank u for teaching us.

[@ContagiousGlory24]

Stellar. 🔥🔥🔥 STELLAR! 👏👏👏 🎉🎉🎉 THANK U!!

[@justinhawthorne2809]

Your timing is perfect

[@musicandairplanes6330]

Very good advice. You look nice thank you period

[@pauliegee6980]

Great advice

[@annaisis7510]

Basically saying "give thema fierce look that will send the message and continue doing what you were doing "

[@Smartsometimes]

Great stuff. Been practicing this for years. Works every time.