How to Deal with Manipulative People - 5 Tips That Actually Work!

[@001Nennine]

I have a daughter that does that to me every time she calls me. I live in the US and she is in Canada where she was deported too after certain unsavory actions. She has 7 children and none with her. I've been raising her first child since birth and have sole custody of him. Her son is acting exactly as she did when he hit puberty. I cannot handle either one and I'm suffering because of it. I'm blamed for every situation that occurs. Not once did she call me to say hi Mom how are you doing. There is always a $ attached to it I cannot count how many times she threatened to kill herself because of the repercussions of her actions. Doctors and hospitals know her too well. She has gotten help in every way possible and yes she is an addict that was doing so well for about 3 months. I am getting help with my situation however I feel guilty because of needs I cannot fix for her. Sorry for my rant. It feels good to just vent like this. Please excuse my grammar, English is not my first language.

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

That's OK, sometimes you just need a good vent! It sounds like a really difficult situation, and conflicts tend to be far more challenging the closer we are in terms of being related... so parent/child is like the ultimate recipe for conflict, unfortunately. Obviously you need to do what you need to do to look after yourself, mentally and physically, and if that means keeping people at arms-length emotionally then do so - you can be respectful and civil and kind without allowing yourself to be dragged into drama. Wishing you all the very best, and remember to take things one day at a time and focus on what you can directly control... which is you, and what you choose to say and do. Jeremy 😃 (PS: No need to excuse your grammar, it's quite good!)

[@lisalamphier1410]

And drug addiction is so insidious. I feel for you. I had a neighbor who was happily married for twenty six years when his wife became addicted. Nicest people you could ever meet. Then she started to act strange, and started disappearing. One day she just left while he was at work. He searched for her and found her living with a man who was supplying her with drugs. She was a shadow of her former self. He tried desperately to rescue her. He finally had to give up and move on. He married someone else. It was so sad. Sometimes there's nothing you can do.

[@atlasshrugged7475]

👍 I agree with what you are saying. I like to learn the hard way. 😂The current calamity I'm dealing resulting from not listening to my desire/that inner voice and choosing to sacrificially help others.... Took me 3 or 4 times of being "hit over the head" to finally figured out Being kind to others at heavy expense/harm to myself is not being kind to me and I count too! It is not selfish to set boundaries. We need to count ourselves in on the deck.

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

My general 'rule of thumb' on this is: if you don't look after your needs, who will? Because nobody can or will do it for you, so you had better make yourself a priority! Glad you liked it and wishing you all the best 😃

[@MC-qx6oi]

simple and practical tips,thank you!

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

Glad it was helpful!

[@lokitheekat]

Excellent episode Jeremy! After listening to several of your podcasts, and watching these videos, as well as your Instagram, I am finding the techniques you lay out are effective for me. I feel I am on the path to lasting change. Thank you for encouraging us to be our best selves. 😊

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

Glad to hear it! Thanks so much for your lovely message, you absolutely made my day. Have a great week!!!

[@katigust]

i love your podcast♥ thank you so much for everything you do!!

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

Thank you very much! I’m so happy to hear it 😃😃😃

[@bk6086]

Thnxx

[@ericacbrown5873]

Thank you for sharing this advice. I really needed it right now. My mom is a big manipulater of mine. She even is using my son to get what she wants from me. Its killing me inside 💔 i can't stand up to her because she because verbally and physically abusive twards me. But i need to take a stand. Im 41 years old and i really need to take a stand agent my mom before things might take a turn for the worst. Thank you again for this video ❤

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

Hi Erica! Glad to hear you found it helpful, that’s a horrible situation to be in so I hope it has helped you to find the strength to set your boundaries and stick to them. Wishing you all the best 🙂

[@barbaraducasse4718]

Very good advice. Wish I'd heard this years ago.

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

Thanks Barbara! It’s never too late 🙂

[@Brana24]

I have college at work, she thinks I am her friend, but I don’t think the same. When we work together she wants everything to be her way. I reported her many times to menager but nothing was done about it. Please tell me what to do.

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

Be direct with her, in a firm but fair (and kind) way. It's better to have an uncomfortable conversation where you set some boundaries than to let someone think they're your friend.

[@YuliaGrushevskaya-bi6he]

😂 observe and detach😊😅🎉 focus on your action who does what is out of your control

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

That's the way! 😃

[@grandmastermario3695]

Maybey my own trust issues or paranoia, thats the reason why I sometimes feel like everyones manipulative.

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

It's worth exploring that with a counsellor or therapist to try to understand if it's the types of people in your life or if you have trust issues.

[@Horseluvver]

They are. Transactional relationships are just how it is now....manipulating others is normal to plenty of ppl.

[@AleiahPrice]

I’m not close to them I’m in a group home have 2 manipulative people and hate them

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

I'm sorry to hear that. My suggestion is to keep interactions with them to the absolute bare minimum (less if you can) and to keep your distance from them emotionally; if you can't trust them, and you feel manipulated by them, you need to protect yourself by staying as far away from them as you practically can. And remember that their behaviour is a reflection of them, not you; don't put up with crap, and don't let their crap get to you.

[@eleafy]

I did all, but then I share the same work with her and I get judged by her production which is 99 perfect of the time faulty, she says to me she doesn’t give a shit, but says differently in front of other people. I have to correct her work all the time, she even puts her stuff on my desk, to make me move it and put them back on her desk, she lies a lot and when I get angry she has puppy eyes and says look how she’s treating me. A lot of people figured out what she is like. The work place has meeting with her all the time but there is very slight improvement. Again full of mistakes. She doesn’t even bother finding her own mistakes when pointed out. After being told several times she does it with minimum effort. Again I have to check her work over and over again seeing slight changes made and others left the same. I guess I am going to quit. She started rumours about me not just in our department as my department knows now that what she’s like, she tells other people as I see people’s conversations change with me. I guess I am gonna resign. I am tired of her being my problem.

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

I'm not sure I understand why she's your problem. My assumption is that your work is measured on your own performance (if not, it definitely should be and you need to discuss that with your manager), so unless you're her supervisor you shouldn't have responsibility for her performance or for checking over her work. You need to discuss this ASAP with your direct supervisor, because it is unfair for you to be responsible for someone else's performance. If it's more that you feel a sense of responsibility, rather than actually being directly responsible (which you're not), then it's time to step back and stop reviewing her work and fixing it for her... all you're doing is enabling her, and creating more stress for yourself. She is not your problem, so whatever you have to do to make her not your problem then that's what you need to do. Wishing you all the best!

[@zahramohammadpour6689]

Very nice

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

Thank you! I hope it was helpful.

[@Hat3M0ng3r]

Video starts at 3:09

[@letstalkaboutmentalhealth]

Not quite sure what you mean, can you clarify please?

[@Hat3M0ng3r]

@@letstalkaboutmentalhealth thats how long it took for you to stop spamming for the algorithm and get to the actual point of the video. Just letting everyone know.

[@SuspiciousCrustacean]

Not everything is for instant clicks and likes, it’s good (and used to be considered normal) to have an intro explaining the contents of the video. This trend of embracing and promoting a low attention span (for example KZbin shorts, Instagram reels and TikTok) is incredibly harmful in pretty much every aspect you can think of. This video has a lot of useful information despite only being around 7 minutes long, or around 4 minutes if you subtract the intro you were so judgemental about.