3 Subconscious Reasons Why You Worry and How to Stop Worrying

Do you want to learn How to Process Emotions and improve your Mental Health? Sign up for a Therapy in a Nutshell Membership, you'll get access to all of Emma’s courses, workbooks, and a Live Q and A with 100’s of exclusive videos: courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Learn how to stop worrying with the online course Worry Free, taught by Nick Wignall- courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Worry isn’t something that happens to you, it’s actually something that you do, that you subconsciously choose to do, because it serves a function- your brain rewards you for it. And then it becomes a habit. If you want to learn how to worry less, you need to understand why your brain likes to worry, because that will free you to find a replacement for that habitual type of thinking.
So in this video you’ll learn the 3 subconscious benefits you get from worry, and how to retrain your brain to worry less.
First off, I have to credit Dr. Martin Rossman, he’s the author of “The Worry Solution” and he’s an expert in mind/body medicine. This video is basically a concise excerpt from his longer, excellent youtube video “How your Brain can turn anxiety into calmness”. • How Your Brain Can Tur...
His book, The Worry Solution: thehealingmind.org/products/t...
OK, so worry serves at least 3 functions. But real quick, let’s define worry:
Worry is a form of thinking, cognition, it’s imagining future outcomes, usually the bad ones. It’s considering all the things that could possibly go wrong.
Stress is the physiological response, it’s what happens in your body when you are physically threatened- like a huge dog jumps out to attack you, your adrenaline surges, your heart rate and breathing increase, your blood pressure goes up. While worry happens in your mind, stress is what happens in your body. And it doesn’t just respond to physical threats, you can have a physical response to being rejected by your peers or getting an angry email from your boss.
Anxiety- Is the emotional response, it happens in the limbic system in your brain. I consider it a combination of thoughts and physical reactions, but it basically creates a strong motivation to avoid a threat. If you’re anxious around heights, it makes you back away from the cliff edge. If you’re anxious about an upcoming test, you try to avoid that anxiety by either studying harder or procrastinating.
Looking for affordable online therapy? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/therapyinanuts...
Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Support my mission on Patreon: / therapyinanutshell
Sign up for my newsletter: courses.therapyinanutshell.co...
Check out my favorite self-help books: kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/bes...
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: tinpodcast.podbean.com/
Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

[@Belief_Before_Glory]

"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened." -Mark Twain

[@lessismore8533]

Hope that can be me too

[@Belief_Before_Glory]

@@lessismore8533 "We suffer more in imagination than in reality." -Seneca "Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems." -Epictetus

[@Belief_Before_Glory]

"The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…" -Epictetus💜

[@glenbateman5960]

I divide problems into 3 groups. 1. I can fix it now. 2. There is a fix, but not right now. 3. I can't do anything about it. For group 1, I fix it right now, so no need to worry. For group 2, I let it go until the fix is possible, then I fix it, so no need to worry in the interim. For group 3, if it's a problem beyond my control, there's no point in making myself sick with worry over something that is completely out of my hands. It is what it is. Life is like that, sometimes.

[@stevehortongothlindreiss3983]

Thank you, Glen, for your insightful comment! Your 3 group idea is very educational and helpful!

[@darthzayexeet3653]

Easier said than done with the 3rd point. I try to stop worrying about things out of my control, but the thoughts constantly come back to me

[@danielchoi32]

@@darthzayexeet3653same here

[@justanothermortal1373]

​@darthzayexeet3653 Yes, same... thanks for this though, it was helpful

[@lauragashi2311]

No jokes, this helped me. I‘m writing this down. Thanks!

[@jimmytimmy3680]

1. Schedule Worry Time to problem solve 2. Challenge negative thoughts with positive ones. 3. Recognize, understand, and be in touch with your emotions.

[@liyemasibizo3529]

Thank you

[@louern123]

is this a summary of what she said?

[@meeshgeeh9901]

👍

[@ytr3488]

@@louern123 no its just something A KZbinr decided to pull out of their hat

[@metheavy]

To be in touch with your emotions, is welcoming them as they are, not trying to fix them or saying there are good or bad. So you're not attached or trying to avoid them. I'm reading Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender, by David R. Hawkins, it's really a good book. I also do meditation everyday to help me slow my mind and relax my body.

[@samdp42]

I talk to a lot of people who can’t afford therapy and always recommend this channel. It’s so helpful. ❤

[@ZombieKayla]

Same!

[@JP-ve7or]

Agree. I watch a lot of these, take down notes, use the techniques and review them periodically. I figure it's about the same stuff I'd get from in-person counseling (if I'm lucky) 😄

[@Moonless6491]

Richest country in the world and we can't afford Housing, vehicles, food, or healthcare. Sad

[@Zee972015]

Thank you for this information. I've been having a hard time lately. I've barely eaten in a week, have a hard time falling and staying asleep and woke up the last 4 days feeling so bad I cried. I'm at my wits end. Your videos help. I feel like the more I learn the better I feel. There's hope for self improvement yet.

[@Ryan_pro6_YT]

Same

[@maddiemov9342]

Same

[@bliss3174]

Stay persistent, god bless

[@roselandalex]

Hope you're doing better now

[@mariosoto-ru9so]

​@@Ryan_pro6_YT000pp

[@costanzojr]

Thank you, Emma. What you do is extremely helpful to people.

[@HarpKoupenov]

Thanks, I couldn’t pay for myself 👍

[@joewindle5257]

Very helpful I'm 72 years old I've worried my whole life to prepare myself for things that never happened the one thing I never worried about what's my wife dying I'm in therapy now trying to find out what went wrong thank you so much

[@wendydiaz8988]

I just want to take a moment to thank you. I have been having anxiety and panic attacks over the last several years. It was a new feeling because I have always been mentally and emotionally very strong. I did not even realize what I was experiencing was due to emotional trauma. I have always plowed through even the most difficult of circumstances and that’s why this new feeling that made me so uncomfortable was frightening. The harder I got on my self to try to make myself get through it the more the anxiety increased. You have been so instrumental throughout the years to help me manage my anxiety to make room for it and to understand my emotional well-being. I was so comforted to know that Olympic gold medalists NFL players etc. have suffered with their trauma and emotional physical responses. To know that these professional athletes who are obviously mentally strong, emotionally strong and disciplined have had to learn how to cope with these feelings made me understand that it was not a weakness on my part. Anyhow realizing what is happening in your own body and then figuring out how to change it is no easy task. That’s where you came in and I appreciate you so much because I have honestly reaped the benefits! There are no words to express the gratitude that one feels by being able to eliminate or greatly reduce and manage anxiety.

[@tatianajenkins2064]

What a beautiful and open-hearted response! It was a joy to read it ❤

[@wendydiaz8988]

@Dani You are judging without understanding. I do apologise that you feel like that is what I was communicating.

[@tiddlywinks456]

A lot of my friends are experiencing increased anxiety recently and I didn’t realise that it’s a symptom to both menopause and peri menopause. You may be too young but just in case it is another factor women should know about. I knew what you meant re weakness, there was definitely no harm meant.

[@wendydiaz8988]

@@tiddlywinks456 thanks for the info. And your confirmation on my comment. At first that’s what I thought, that it was… menopause. Recall that I said I’m strong and plow through things? People have often said things like, “ a train can knock you down and you get right up”. That’s the part that eventually caught up to me. Decades of pressures and stresses that I didn’t deal with properly. I was all mind. My emotions were my greatest WEAKNESS. On my journey with the anxiety/panic attacks, I now realize I must change. It’s a great change…. I’ve been forced to recognize and learn emotional regulation and rebuilding myself. It’s interesting 🤔 something that was confusing, frightening and robbed me from peace and joy has become the catalyst of a new improved me 😃. Its s journey and as you know…we benefit greatly from each other and from the resources online. Like this channel! Thanks you and carry on on this journey as we all look to understand ourselves and others.

[@veggi23]

@ wendy Diaz, thanks for sharing your journey, I found your openess and honesty about how you struggled with this to be really refreshing and honest. That took bravery (yes it did, putting yourself out there always does). Knowing others who look strong also have struggles reinforces in me the need to not judge by appearances.

[@DivineDianne]

Someone overstepped my boundaries and I have been worried about them doing it again. Its been in my head for days and days. It made me feel really vulnerable, angry and helpless. Right now there is nothing I can do about it, but if it happens again, I will definitely speak up.

[@jewelthemindfulgardener]

I am a mental health counseling student ending my second year and I watch your videos every day. I am an online student so watching your videos has just added so much depth and value to what I am learning. I picked up your emotional processing course yesterday and I’m really looking forward to it! Thank you so much for these videos.

[@MM-kz1kk]

Incredibly helpful. This channel is my morning walk buddy and I am not only becoming physically healthier but mentally more stable and strong. I am more accepting my situation now than before more incredibly at peace with it all than before. Every step, every breath, every blink became so testing at one stage (note I changed my status to testing where as before I would run to words like difficult, painful, etc). I am registered in the course and I am reading the books and I am so greatful to realise how powerful my mind is how it can ground me or steer me in both right or unwanted directions. Thank you for the work you are doing. Love and respect from Sydney

[@Suckrrpunch]

You know what, your channel is the most helpful thing ever happened to me since I’ve been back in a bad anxiety circle with lots of physical symptoms. Thank you. Honestly i am so grateful for u

[@ginamarie975]

Your videos have helped me so much over the past year. I’m like a different person mentally and everyone around me has noticed the change yet my family/friends aren’t the type to watch therapy videos on KZbin and it’s so frustrating not to be able to share your knowledge with them! Plus your voice is amazing…🙏 TY!

[@GoddessSparkle21]

Hi Emma, would you be able to make a health anxiety video for people who have actual health issues? Love your content, thanks for all you do.

[@skysetblue9578]

I wish I could give you a billion thumbs up because I been doing this my whole life. Thank you for addressing this! In the past I noticed when I focus in writing a story or using my imagination with fun things I overthink less. I drive better and slept better. I need to try that again.. busting bad habits looking too much in phone is so difficult..

[@TacoMighty]

I'm a therapist and you are great! Thanks!

[@stephaniebeffanie8956]

You really have a gift! I’ve been in therapy off and on for years and I’ve never had anyone touch on this. It’s so helpful! I’m really glad I found you.

[@sakibkhannagori44]

Best wishes. Are you from Allen, Texas?

[@fatmajuma4080]

I have attempted to meditate many times in my life and prior to this CD the only success I've experienced is with live guided meditation. kzbin.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq This is the first CD I've used that cuts through my unmedicated ADHD and enables me to truly relax and experience a quiet and energizing interval. The instructors voice is very soothing and pleasant to listen to. I am easily able to sit successfully through the entire CD, and for quite some time after. I cannot adequately express how tremendously helpful this CD has been on my spiritual journey!! Two thumbs up and 10 stars!

[@raptoreventsflorida]

I have no words for what you do for all of us. I wish we were neighbors 😂 u r truly an amazing human being. Your videos are now part of my everyday- your voice and compassion is remarkable ❤❤❤❤ everybody watching your videos is thinking the same thing on behalf of myself and everybody else I’m sure we wanna all thank you 2000 times for all of your information… God bless

[@adrianasusunaga5671]

Thank you so much! This actually makes a lot of sense, I will put all your recommendations into practice right away!

[@halfdeadfish]

This is the coolest channel I have ever found. Thank you so so much for making the first step towards social anxiety treatment that much closer for my type of overthinker! I live in a college town where wait times are extremely long.

[@akaMcSassy]

I'm unlearning so much unhelpful stuff, thanks to you. Your videos on neuroplasticity are awesome.

[@susankate2411]

Psilocybin containing mushrooms saved my life. The drastically reduced my benzodiazepine withdrawal allowing me to quite illicit pill addiction after three years of heavy daily use before it would had became medically dangerous to quit. It has also helped me survive depression.

[@gidsonsharon]

Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here

[@dangelojeremiah1944]

I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across *dr.jeromespore* a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly

[@eddiemurray3978]

Feels like a Jedi mind trick every time I watch your videos, because I love all of them! They’re so informative and you’re so charming thanks for all the info!!!

[@TonyaA7]

Thank you Emma for sharing this. God Bless You....

[@seemanath859]

OMG!! This video is an eye-opener for me. For years, I have been thinking that expecting good things would jinx at me and thinking the worst case scenario would bring good outcomes; it happened many times and this notion got rooted in my mind in such way that I am literally anxious to think about any good/positive outcomes !! I just never had an explanation why things are always like that till I watched Emma dissected the whole thing. I am truly grateful to her for guiding people like me through such tough times. Thank You so much Emma! Love, Prayer and Best Wishes for you! ❤

[@feiwong70]

Thank you so much for making these videos, Emma! And your voice is so pleasant to listen to.

[@DanielAlbertoLepeAyala]

Revealing information as always! Thank you!

[@alcooper6186]

Thank you so much Emma for a truly wonderful and helpful clip.

[@Nadiasalen]

Hey Emma! Thank you for another great video ❤ May I ask you to talk about this phrase? I think it's closely relate to how we think and feel to all events in life, either inside or outside of us. Dr Joe Dispenza says: The body doesn't know the difference between a experience and a thought. You can literally change your chemistry, hormones and genes simply by having an inner event.

[@SharonKBM]

Thank you so much for this video. It was very informative and helpful. I have always worried about everything and it is exhausting.

[@toiletrollholder]

So insightful ❤. I definitely believe worrying about something makes it less likely to happen. I was brought up that way. All the advice in your video is so helpful and right on target for my current dilemma 👍👏🙏❤

[@nh.135]

Helpful as always. Thank you Emma.🌻

[@HuyBui-zq2xh]

Thank you for the great content, Emma. I am always anxious for all my life, but now i understand why i worry. I will practicing to change my worry in a more helpful way.

[@Nina21_]

Thank you so much Emma ❤️ this was so helpful, i'll start implementing your tips right away =)

[@leonidashustero4793]

AMAZING CONTENT!!!! this is so liberating! thanks!

[@Lilylou59]

Thank you. So many wake up moments in things you said! I need to get better at feeling my emotions!

[@elanasharich8538]

Great video, thankyou. The scheduled worry time, has been a most effective tool, for getting my compulsive worrying under control.

[@munkeefinkelbeen5395]

This was helpful. Thank you! I've been worried a LOT these past few months

[@xkz92]

Used to worry a lot, and blamed myself for both not getting it right *despite* having rightfully worried about something, or for having worried for nothing, and for worrying, and for not worrying - the whole thing. #1 worked for me (putting time aside to address those worries) but not until I switched my mindset to being gratful (or least pretending to be at first) towards my brain for coming up with those worries, no matter how silly they were ... some sort of "ok yes I get it, doesn't sound great, doesn't look very likely to happen either, but if it did here's how we should probably react, good? ok, thanks, see you next time"

[@noeliaalberti7]

Thank you so much! I loved everything about this video, what you said, the way you said it, your smile, the colours and the environment around you. God bless you

[@timcook4552]

This is so true. This channel helps me a lot. Thank you.

[@YasuTaniina]

I'm not sure I've commented on your videos before, but I've enjoyed them for quite some time. I've found them very helpful as well as the fact that I'm just really amused we have the same name, general age/stage of life, and religion. I was recently diagnosed with POTS (Postural orthostatic takicardia syndrome) and since getting treatment not only has the dizziness gone way down but for the first time in literally years I'm no longer in fight or flight. I was telling my husband this evening that it's weird. I feel such relief and excitement that I can finally be productive, but there's also this numbness that I can't explain. I can't be positive, but I don't think it's the beta blocker. I think it's because I literally have forgotten how to function out of fight or flight. With the drastic increase in POTS the last couple of years, and because it effects the automatic system and messes up not just physical health but mental health as well, do you think you could do a video on mental health and POTS? While I've seen a lot of evidence of correlation, I've not seen any actual mental health specialist talk about it

[@carlaalmonte6788]

Thank you Emma! These videos are very helpful!

[@ASMinor]

I am an avid mental health awareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my KZbin channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💚

[@katherineraina7344]

Thank you so much! This is where I am at, I am so grateful!! 💖

[@angellollar1083]

God bless you bunches!!! You are a treasured gift to humanity! Thank you 😊 💓 ☺️ 💗

[@marywidener1409]

This is so awesome! I am learning so much about myself from your videos. You are a God send 🙏 thank you!

[@spiciecarrot]

This was so helpful, thank you!

[@ayeshaanez250]

Ive been watching a couple different videos and I need you to know that you are saving lives! Even better than doctors because your educated and its FREE! Thank you so much.

[@citytrees1752]

These videos have been so helpful.

[@carmenbootArt]

Thank you very much for your videos. They are life saving❤

[@chesmariefrance]

Everyone needs to see this video! Thank you!

[@PabloSteuer]

Just wanted to tell you, how good your videos work if you constantly look them. I'm working together with a professional therapist, to not develop delusions about psychology and it really works well altogether. Thank you very much for providing free, very important informations about our psyche.

[@motomoto7721]

This video just changed my life

[@mistywatercolormemories]

Thank you so much for this!

[@Dreamsareareality]

Thank you so much. I am going to use this for myself and share it with clients. It was quite helpful and I took notes. ❤

[@KingNez89]

I sincerely appreciate this video 🙏🏾

[@LAURENMORENOFILMS]

Gosh, this was so helpful. Thanks so much for this!

[@therapywithlara]

Great reminders - thank you for sharing!

[@angiabi]

Thank you for your content

[@WheelsandHeels]

Thank You

[@rosyloveslearning3013]

Thank you. ❤

[@johnorsomeone4609]

Sometimes the algorithms creep me out but sometimes they hand me the right video at the right time.

[@ademjefit]

I really like your uploads a lot. Thank you!!

[@reedmayhew18]

Your videos are so well structured, no matter how anxious I am when I start watching them, I always feel a ton of relief once they're done playing. Thank you!

[@tomjackson2565]

Thank you very much !

[@ZombieKayla]

Yayyy I was waiting for this.

[@creeglanz4564]

Thank you so much for this. You are a miracle

[@robhasenwinkle]

Thanks

[@martinmusokem5765]

Thank you .it was really helpful

[@christineyoungberg5389]

Thank you for your helpful videos!! Also thx for reminding me of Dr Rossman… he’s a great resource & his office is right around the corner from where I live 🙏 I will check out his book. 😊

[@mysteriousguy4375]

This is lifee saving for mee . So much thankss 😍

[@PhysioAl1]

Great episode!

[@Life_42]

This is the best channel ever!

[@nicolas_-_-_]

Hello! Thank you very much!

[@ninjamatt2164]

Thank you

[@bestrongandloveyourself2370]

Awesome video! Thank you! 🙏💖💖💖

[@anxiety.master]

Misuse of imagination is a real worry driver. Imagination is an innate resource we often need to be taught to manage usefully. Education emphasises 'paying attention' and 'focussing' - and these are useful skills. Yet we'd do well by learning to break our attention and mindfully focus on other things - especially when it comes to worry! The compulsive what-ifs (?) that keep us locked in a state of hypervigilance. Often, worrying is a response to uncertainty or feeling attached to a specific outcome. Acknowledging this is a useful step - in addition to all your excellent advice. Thanks, Emma. Best wishes, Dominic

[@hankfowler8194]

I love your videos. Thank you !

[@tekeiajohnson5669]

Thanks so much

[@fitrunner1317]

This was so good and helpful. I began doing neuroplasticity 2 years ago and I also implement Dr Caroline Leafs Neurocycle! Has truly changed my life! Thanks so much for this video! Educating and getting this truthful info out there will help so many overcome depression. It’s not a chemical imbalance but an imbalance in the nervous system because the brain is off balance because our thoughts and beliefs are so off balance due to the childhood traumas! Medication can’t treat a unhealthy soul - mind will and emotions- out thoughts and beliefs! God bless you!

[@JenniferPost]

Are you talking about her App? I just started today and praying it helps me. 🙂

[@wendydiaz8988]

Yes , I read Caroline’s book and worked on rebuilding past experiences. So very helpful.

[@lucyprice7679]

Neuroplasticity is like Neurofeedback? Does it really help?

[@wendydiaz8988]

@@lucyprice7679 I read Caroline’s book and feel it helped me locate the root of my anxiety and rebuild over the trauma experiences. I also started roller skating because I learned how doing something physical can literally help the mental part of the brain 🧠 that helps with regulation. Skating is mental, emotional and physical, so it’s been a real great journey. Use what ever works for you.

[@robhersh8320]

Doing the world a great service.

[@labrumco]

Thanks!

[@able7777able]

Thank you very much a wonderful video and very helpful

[@user-oo5dl6vw7g]

Thank you so much this is very helpful to me.

[@biggjoshhardcore]

This video was very helpful thank you very much 💜💙

[@jo8726t]

I've been a worrier since I was born! Good video.....

[@symphonyofdistraction]

Another great video!

[@deborarorvig2479]

Thank you! I'm going to implement all 3 things now. I am imagining myself doing them and feeling so much lighter, free, and smiling/laughing more...and sleeping peacefully.

[@judyny2293]

thank you!!!💟

[@roccoconte2960]

Thx for another helpful video.

[@ZombieKayla]

Worrying is what led me to the discovery that all my autoimmune problems are stemming from a MAJOR liver fluke infestation. Can't believe I've had them for years! But really, THANK YOU because your videos literally changed my life and helped me to heal and reprogram my nervous system from cptsd. It's also what led me to the discovery that I had ADHD. Thank you so so much!

[@maxdatsun]

Hey! How did you figure out what it was?

[@ZombieKayla]

@@maxdatsun a video about them. I got feeling.. Starting a parasite cleanse (be CAREFUL with the dosing it can cause MAJOR major problems if you take too much and put you in the ER) and passing them in my stool. When they start to die off it creates a lot of anxiety and moodiness it's weird. I also have started to eat for my blood type which has been seriously life changing.

[@Truerealism747]

@@ZombieKayla sure it wasn't Candida? What were your symptoms going get that book one type o any pain symptoms?

[@mcDynamit]

so insightful

[@mind-cy5xe]

Thanks dear sister.. Love and bless from bottom of my heart😍 Bless from india

[@nishachhikara]

Thanks mam for simplified explanation 🙂

[@ViviMark]

Awesome video, well done!!!

[@Red23165]

Thanks starting to watch your videos hope you have more videos ❤❤

[@andreasrylander]

Thank you for your videos. They truly help people. :)

[@maritkristianehauganwick7721]

Ty🙏🍀