3 Tips for INTJs to Improve Your Social Life

[@T7nskie]

Masses might not like INTJs but they hell of a lot respect them. I’d rather be respected than be popular, anyway.

[@agent9184]

This

[@erinbarlow6996]

Its interesting you say that because for an INFP's like myself, our respect for INTJ's doesn't come solely from their Ni Te strength, but from their willingness to learn and understand social cues and respect the emotions and opinions of others. I've met INTJ's who can Ni Te the hell out of a project, but were absolute assholes as people. These INTJs I have very little respect for regardless of their MBTI strengths. It's those who embrace both their strengths and actively work on improving their weakness (as Jon described in this video) the world has the utmost respect and admiration for. This doesn't mean needing to be "less INTJ" (whatever that means) or be the life of the party with 100 friends, but to put yourselves out there a little more and embrace the unique skills and strengths others have to offer, in a way that is mutually beneficial for both parties.

[@SecondFloor2311]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@erinbarlow6996THIS!!! Been dealing with this with an INTJ in my life. I care a lot for him but he chooses to basically not learn and grow anymore, sees his bad/toxic traits as strengths and what I see as his true strengths he doesn’t care about; “this is just me deal with it”. He has become very short sighted and black & white thinking, and it’s such a shame cause he’s a great guy and not dumb but he acts like it. And becoming ‘old and bitter’ even before hitting 30 lol. But I guess it’s not the first time an INFJ was close to someone because of ‘the potential’ they saw xD oops yeah. I hope he learns and matures tho cause he clearly isn’t that happy with his life and I wish for him to be so. But if he ain’t even searching well then there’s currently no journey to go on with him right… Sorry had to get this off my chest

[@hollistantang9469]

Well, you should quote Machiavelli.. "It is better to be feared than to be loved"

[@justcallmejon22]

I agree that I'd rather be respected than popular but my question is why is there a dichotomy? For an INTJ, why can't we be both popular and respected?

[@fredrikdippel3664]

INTJ's have a natural ability to be charismatic if they just work a bit on the compassionate side. Then you will become likable and people will be attracted to you.

[@ramsesemerson]

As a female INTJ, I don't play dumb or even ever consider it, but guys have done that to try to flatter me. It comes off as condescending and annoys me every time.

[@justcallmejon22]

I usually only play dumb when I feel like things will get worst if I don't. I'm okay with pretending for a few minutes if it'll prevent an hour of nonsense 🙃

[@ramsesemerson]

@@justcallmejon22 Makes sense!

[@Napoleona777]

INTJ's and INTP's get confused a lot. My sister used to say I look and remind her of Daria but then later on I took the MBIT and turned out to be INTJ. It is hard to find good friends often as an INTJ female, most personality types don't understand us. So if I find a good like-minded friend I value that friendship and will stay loyal to them for as long as I can.

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm happy to hear that you found your tribe! Finding like-minded people really does feel like they're god-sent 🙂

[@Napoleona777]

@@justcallmejon22 Yes, my friends are long distance but I doing more activities to make friends at close distance.

[@followme6482]

It becomes twice as hard when you also have ADHD (the one with hyperfocus and ability to catch up with everything superfast, but lie down dying because of fatigue)

[@mumm-ratheeverliving3138]

This isn’t harsh at all, sounds more like an instruction manual for making implicit social cues come to light. Thanks for your honest words.

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you 🙏

[@yfaewwegfawg]

Im an INTJ, and this vid is great advice. I found a good approach to socializing is to treat it like exercise. Meet people or see the same people consistently the same way you would eating healthy. Some groups won't fit and you will say dumb thing, but who cares. It will also take a very, very long time to develop close relationships nowadays with post-covid mental health effects. But I believe INTJs are the most capable to force a positive outcome they desire through pure effort and consistency, not relying on any "natural" charm

[@justcallmejon22]

I agree 100% and that's why I can't stand it when INTJs say they "can't" do something (unless there's a valid reason). Come on, Mama Te won't allow us to be mediocre, you're just being lazy if you think that way 😂

[@iv3nomousi]

'Ask them for help' How very dare you 🤣

[@justcallmejon22]

Dare you I shall😂!

[@buffalobob870]

As an INTJ, I have found that my social needs exist as they do in any human, however my needs are far less in frequency and intensity. This also changes with age, maturity and the people you surround yourself with (and jettison) as you move through the journey of life.

[@justcallmejon22]

100% agreed that life really is the best teacher ✊

[@prema_ranga]

As an INTJ, I often struggle with social interactions and understanding how to navigate relationships effectively. Your advice on treating people how they want to be treated, rather than how I want to be treated, really resonated with me. It's a simple concept, but one that can be easily overlooked. I also appreciate your emphasis on respecting others' feelings and boundaries, and the reminder that everyone's experiences and struggles are unique. I look forward to implementing these tips in my own life and seeing the positive changes they can bring. Keep up the great work!

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm happy to hear that you're open to breaking the stereotype and becoming a healthier INTJ. We're on the journey of self-improvement together my INTJ brotha ✊

[@mar8888]

Great video, although I am fine with being 98% antisocial hahaha. INTJ woman, here. 😂😂

[@hollistantang9469]

Same here but sometimes people just come knocking our door...

[@fredrikdippel3664]

@@hollistantang9469 you can always pretend like you're not at home..😅

[@justcallmejon22]

However you decide to live your life, I'm all for it INTJ Queen 👑

[@AtypicalType]

Now that I think about it, I do start out with the criticism first and then try to soften the blow. And it's definitely not always effective. I'm going to try reversing the order and see what happens. Thanks for the great video!

[@justcallmejon22]

You'll instantly start seeing positive results ✊

[@WhoElseWillIHaveIceCreamWith]

Treating others they way they want to be treated is the platinum rule. When I first learned about it, it really shifted my perspective because I am very much am a logical thinker but wasn't thinking about the impact my actions have on people's emotions. That's when I decided to observe body language and micro-expressions of other people when they were speaking near me (not with me). So when I did get the chance to engage in conversation, I'm always improving and taking note of non-verbal cues as a way of distinguishing emotions from other because our innate body language responses don't lie.

[@justcallmejon22]

It's a game-changer once we start using our Se to understand people. I went through something similar so it's nice to know that other people arrived to the same realization 😁

[@WhoElseWillIHaveIceCreamWith]

@@justcallmejon22 I highly recommend Vanessa Van Edwards' book "Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People." She covers and explains these topics in a meaningful way that logical thinks are sure to remember. It's also kind of like a modern version of Dale Carnegie's "How to Make Friends and Influence People."

[@WhoElseWillIHaveIceCreamWith]

@@justcallmejon22 Would you happen to have any book recommendations for INTJs to better understand the rest of the personality types? I feel like I have a good grasp on my own personality type, but not totally familiar with the rest of the personality types.

[@BashaerB-h2c]

Interesting video! As an INTJ, I went through SO MUCH before I became decent at socializing. What helped me is going to the gym and forcing myself to small-talk with strangers. I was timid and awkward at first, but after a few months it became like a sport for me. I got to know many people that have interesting jobs and hobbies. I learned to tame my ego (I didn't realize how big it was until I tried to control it) and to focus completely on the other person. This has a magical effect and many people felt loved because they were listened to. It isn't really that hard.. we INTJs just think it's beneath us to listen to others! Yes, I can't go on hours and hours doing this but 1/2-2 hours isn't too bad for one day. Also, asking for help (even though I knew I could google it) helped me become friends with an amazing person that I deeply love.

[@BashaerB-h2c]

+ also I realized we INTJs tend to be terrible storytellers because we speak right to the point, don't use expressive language nor are animated in our speech (You Jon clearly have worked in this skill) This makes the other party feel awkward because we deliver events as facts so they don't know how to react back. I'm trying my best to be more expressive and take my time with details.. but it's so difficult especially in the moment.

[@justcallmejon22]

Always happy to hear from another INTJ that sees the benefit in being social! I'm not a fan of talking to people at the gym but I appreciate that was your gateway and I'm all for it! In regards to speaking clearly, I've internalized being a comedian. I try as much to add jokes as possible, it really lightens up the mood 🙂

[@adamd9166]

Very helpful tips, Jon. I waver back and forth between not empathetic enough, and too empathetic (because I overdo it trying to be social and friendly) which comes off as fake, I think. Striking a balance as an INTJ is tricky. I really like what you said with other peoples feelings not being your responsibility "You're absolutely right, and thats why you'll die alone" or whatever it was lol. Something can be CORRECT but NOT HELPFUL at the same time. I had an early start in performance arts (music and drama) so I had a bit of an advantage over a typical INTJ at that age because I learned the important of playing to one's audience. For a time, I actually was better in front of a crowd than one-on-one because of that, go figure lol.

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm glad to hear that my message got received that mulitple things can be correct at the same time and not any less valid. I actually don't mind being in front of a crowd when I'm expected to give a performance either since I took classes on presentations in Highschool, so it's second nature to me now but I still cannot get on board with unscheduled spotlight. I hope you're better at that than I am 😆

[@bekkifromwisconsin]

Wow, #2 hit me hard. I need to practice this more. I always complain that I never have any fun or no one to talk to when I go out. I'm gonna save this video & keep rewatching it so it sticks.

[@justcallmejon22]

It all comes with practice my INTJ sister. I'm still working on it and I know it's going to be a lifelong journey that we partake together 😊

[@cswatching]

As an archetypal INTJ, this was very, very difficult to watch. But I saw through til the end because most - if not all - of the points you raised are grounded in pure logic. Thank you for distilling ideas I normally would not give a rodent’s behind about lol. Compromise is and will always be a hard no for me, but subbed for your excellent discussions. 🏆

[@justcallmejon22]

It sounds like you found a way of living that works best for you and I support it fellow INTJ ✊

[@oliviarinaldi5963]

It is so wonderful to hear your words of wisdom, Jon. I've been so busy, I haven't heard you in forever. My INTJ has told me he loves me, but not often and I am fine with that. Reason being, he works 16 hours a day and still spends time with me, even if it is only a short text. It blows my mind that some people don't like INTJ, but you make valid points about it. I hope you are happy and things are going well for you. I'm copy editing a book for a friend and it keeps me busy. Be well.

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm doing well, thank you for being concerned! It sounds like your husband has you in his thoughts and that's a very special place to be 🙂

[@oliviarinaldi5963]

@@justcallmejon22 Whoa, lol, not husband ;) not just yet anyway. But yea, I think you're totally right.

[@julezmassicott9231]

Well said Jon. Thank you. If I was in church I would say: Preach Brother Preach! 😊

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you 🙏

[@Unabatedhalo775]

As an INTJ, I really appreciate your advice, and I sincerely hope that your channel becomes exponentially more popular in the following years.

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you for the kind words 🙏

[@muhammadanwaruddin4666]

I'm only 2.43 minutes into the video and it hits hard. Not the way it hurts, but the fact that its mindblowing. Me growing up was always taught to treat others how you want others to treat them. It never came to my mind to view from that perspective. I'm always going how would I want them to treat me in this situation and then act accordingly. Just the first tip is super useful, but how does other people want to be treated? Just had to type this out before finishing the video, will resume to see if this gets answered. Also not be agreeing that I can live and alone and Jon had to tell me off by asking me to leave. Nah I still need to learn people to control, so lets learn about them. People are useful.

[@justcallmejon22]

I only gave you the option to leave..I'm glad you stayed 😊

[@introvish]

Infj here.... I've loved the video... You've said everything beautifully... Especially the part about how an intj needs to first give a compliment before the criticism.... I agree...

[@justcallmejon22]

It's crazy how something so small can be such a huge game changer for providing feedback 😅

[@Lovedbyhim4ever25]

Playing dumb is literally one of the hardest things anyone could ask us to do but I'll try it. Thanks for the tips.

[@PaleGhost69]

You don't even have to play dumb. Just recognize your own weaknesses in the strengths of others and use them appropriately.

[@hollistantang9469]

Nah, playing dumb is very useful... I mostly play dumb when someone is overly assertive... And find the weakness and lash him/her back hahahahaha... I usually play dumb when either 1) gathering data or 2) trying to find weakness on someone

[@HoshPak]

​@@hollistantang9469yes, playing dumb aka dimming yourself or blending in is one of the traits that are second nature to INFJs. Very useful for gathering information.

[@justcallmejon22]

Exactly what @paleghost69 said. Figure out something that the person is better at you in and be genuinely curious when asking for help. Don't play dumb just to play dumb, learn and be curious ✊

[@hollistantang9469]

@@justcallmejon22 well, I only use that "playing dumb" card to measure other people's capabilities too... I mean... How do we know how they work things out? By asking things and playing dumb... So we can see their thinking patterns, and analyze what sort of person we are dealing with... Although there are many social experiments that can be used... But I still see that "playing dumb" has its own uses

[@tarsilaribeiro]

Omg, it took soooo long for me to learn about these informations. Like, it was such a phenomenal moment when I learned that feelings could be a base for an argument. Thank you

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you 🙏

[@The-Labbed-Life]

As an INTJ who always struggled with socializing, what helped me is seeing it as a skill to obtain or a challenge. In the end, for whatever you want in life, knowing how to talk to people is absolutely necessary and I see the benefits of it in the long term. I always joke that I became good at talking to people since 2/3 years only, i was super awkward before. What helped me is analyzing extraverts behavior around me and adapt what I see to my own style. Having an ESFP best friend helped a lot to develop my Se. But also INFJ, ENFJ, ENFP helped a lot. I got deeper at the end of last year in wanting to improve my social skills when I learned I was an INTJ. Many things made sense and i could see my weaknesses clearly. And that’s how the project SOCIAL SKILL IMPROVEMENT was born haha. I forced myself to go to social events every week for months (book clubs, meeting new people in the city, parties etc,sports events…) I find it easier to be in situations where there is something to do and then you talk about it. My goal was to talk to at least one new person every time and had specific tasks in mind. I started this in September last year and now I’m much more comfortable with it, I know how to small talk and have interesting conversations with anyone. These past few weeks, I’ve been receiving compliments from different people about how I changed. My friends and managers see me more confident when I talk. The ultimate compliment was when different people I met recently thought I was an extrovert. 🤣 (biggest laugh ever) I can finally say that the project SOCIAL SKILL IMPROVEMENT was a success after almost a year. So for all the INTJ, i know it’s hard but take baby steps. One comparison I like: if You have an hamburger in front of you, you’re not gonna put the whole thing in your mouth directly, you gonna eat small bites at a time to finish it. Well, it’s the same for everything, especially the things we hate to do.

[@justcallmejon22]

How'd you know I love hamburgers?! It's so funny to hear that you made it a social experiement because I did the same thing one year and called it "Year of Yes" where I didn't allow myself to say no to any social invites. It was a lot of work but I agree that is' such a weird but great feeling to hear people think that you're an extrovert. That's when you know you made it. Good stuff INTJ and keep improving ✊

[@The-Labbed-Life]

@@justcallmejon22 ahh my Ni told me you loved hamburgers Jon 🤷🏻‍♀️😌 Hahaha so funny you did the same experiment. It was very intense but my social skills are sharp now and I see it as very useful long term. It was very interesting to analyze people in groups as well and see how they react to certain things. Although it was draining at times, I’m glad I did it and I met some very cool people along the way. And yeeep, when people thinking you’re an extrovert, you know it’s a success haha. Thanks! And let’s always improve 💪

[@Ihealwounds]

Fellow INTJ here. I feel you. For me, I call it "Social Skill Grinding". Since I am a huge gamer, it makes sense for me to see it in video game terms. It makes it fun and a challenge that will help me beat this game called life.

[@infinitehype]

had the goofiest smile on my face while reading this. thanks for sharing!!!

[@chriscivarra471]

The 2 compliments before a constructive criticism is something I totally know, but needed to hear. Thanks Jon! Never fail to feel heard and learn something new from you!

[@justcallmejon22]

A reminder is always nice so I got you brotha ✊

[@namez2a]

INFJ but can tell this video is gold and That INTJ sub is crazy 😅

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you 🙏

[@jeffrey-825]

Sometimes there is no response or need to contradict someone for their values, opinions, or even applications. Sometimes the response "Hey, that's good on you" or "That's respectable" is good on it's own. And when the bond between an individual or a group is good, you could even go in depth with their values, opinions or applications to see if yourself can see some value in it. Actions, and change, can come from this.

[@justcallmejon22]

Exactly! Saying nothing is sometimes the best path forward ✊

[@IntrovertedNTJ]

When I am nice and helpful then I can't be an INTJ, they are not like that. If I am myself then I am rude. If I act very friendly I am fake. If I ask someone what is going on, because something doesn't add up, then I dig and want drama. If I ask a question why they did stuff they did I overanalyse. When I don't ask questions, I am not as helpful, nor friendly, I am asocial.

[@justcallmejon22]

The answer to your problem is pretty simple, stop trying to be an INTJ and just be yourself. Life is more enjoyable that way ✊

[@IntrovertedNTJ]

This. This helped me. You are completely right. Thank you so much

[@PaleGhost69]

I will need a sequal to this video called "How to People"

[@justcallmejon22]

Probably gonna need help from Fe doms for that video 🙃

[@lillianedwards11]

Thank you this is the ideal video which I needed. I have been learning not to people please lately and I am finding that the balance between being amicable to others and remaining true to myself is difficult. I've noticed people can be very repelled be me at first meeting. I hope I can use some of these tips to melt some of my "ice" ;)

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm glad to hear that you're putting in effort to improve! It does take a lot of practice to figure out how to balance between being too much and not enough but I know you'll get there fellow INTJ, I believe in you ✊

[@lillianedwards11]

Thanks Jon 💯

[@QueenBee-xd1xk]

I do a variation on asking someone for help that works very well. Often when I'm talking to friends they might give me insights, suggestions or ideas on the topic. It could be functional things, emotional things, issues I'm dealing with, really any topic. Being an INTJ the majority of the time I already have thought of and maybe even planned on doing the thing that they're talking about. But I always make sure in the conversation to circle back to their ideas and give them credit as if they gave me the idea and I'm grateful for it and it's super helpful. They always perk up and feel like they've done something good and like they've been a good friend (which they have). I never let them know that I had already come up with the idea myself lol works like a charm and it's a win-win.

[@justcallmejon22]

You did an Inception! I'm guilty of doing it all the time as well 😅

[@courtneyhazelton9965]

Honestly… mind blowing

[@justcallmejon22]

✊

[@billi6]

Great tips Jon 👍 I think people don't like us becoz we are authentic & intimidating ( even when I don't try) Also, we don't like to stick to a group for the sake of being present ( Trickster Fe) when the group start to make a decision & if I don't like it, I am moved away from the relationship with them Any tips on how to survive in a group of friends or colleagues?

[@justcallmejon22]

My tip is to stop being so judgemental. Imagine if your parents gave you up when you made a decision they didn't like, that your work fired you for making a single mistake, or your SO leaving you because you didn't do what they thought was right a few times. Relationships are not only accepting people for their best but also allowing them to correct themselves at their worst. People make mistakes, leaving them because they do says more about yourself than it does them. You got this INTJ, you can easily become better ✊

[@billi6]

Thanks Jon for ur explanation 😊 I want to make clear that I didn't want to move from relationship,but because of varied decisions & priorities, I didn't spend so much time ( becoz it drains me & I want so much to recharge) for friends like others do& this caused gap in friendship

[@alanszymon192]

Hey, this is your INFJ brethren. I find your advice particularly helpful for me as well. Though my vibe doesn't exactly match with yours all that well - due to my Te not being valued - I still see myself as particularly introverted and having a very low social drive. It makes me wonder whether something's wrong with me because I see so many people around me making friends and romantic partners - I have that awareness of how others play the social game, but I am unwilling to participate in it. That isn't a conscious choice, however - that's just how my energy flows. I prefer to be with myself and use my imagination to get on through the day. For me it seems so weird to entertain small talk, but I also feel like that would be natural for me to be friendly in that way: as long as I can sense in the other side their intelligence which doesn't necessarily have to show through smart abstract talk - for example, their sentence making and the vibe they present are enough for me to make a solid judgment about them. Keep on doing the good work. Thousands have found wisdom in your words and have learned a bit more about themselves, even if they're not INTJs. Everyone has their own story and will relate to you in their way. As I'm 17, I don't try to force myself into any cognitive model - I find what aspects of it are the most relatable to me and go along with it. I'm still developing and I find no need to squeeze into a box, just to barely qualify as an Introverted Intuitive or as an Extraverted Feeler according to some rigorous standards. I'm glad this is an open playing field which is facilitated in the first place by open minds willing to engage in self-development to make their existence a bit more.. bearable. 😉

[@justcallmejon22]

Thanks for the kind words my INFJ nephew! I'm not sure if you know Frank James, the INFJ content creator but he mentioned in his earlier videos the problems he had with making friends and INTJs really can relate. I'm glad to hear that you're not taking MBTI too seriously because it is not your identity but instead a tool for self-development and also, dude you're hella young, you still got a lot of life to experience. Keep learning and continue being curious nephew, I support whatever you decide to do ✊

[@molan863]

Damn man youre back 🥳🥳🥳🥳 Proud to see you and 5:05 THAT was the point which i felt mature intjs would say 👑👑👑 That part of video was supercool 👑 And the book you recommended felt interesting 🤩🤩🤩

[@justcallmejon22]

Life is a journey INTJ, don't forget to enjoy it 😀

[@molan863]

@@justcallmejon22 I am not intj , I am nft bhaiya ,the enfj who send you a lot of message on insta 😅🤩

[@MaliMaslacak526]

Great video, straight to the point delivered with such a friendly tone ❤

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you 🙏

[@BuizelCream]

I feel like I'm in an even tougher predicament. Please hear me out. All of these tips you said in the video are things I have learned and honed and applied for years to great benefits until covid happened. However, it was during those 2 years of quarantining where I had the best time of my life more than anything prior to it. It was like a luxury made standard, to finally have all the time and space to reflect on all my experiences and to use those results as concrete data to base on for self-improvement even more than I could ever thought of. It was because of the time during the pandemic where I learned MBTI and found this amazing community, and when I had carefully discerned during those 2 years that I really am an INTJ. Even though I had learned a lot of social skills prior to all of this, it still did left me behind a lot of unresolved social trauma due to people around me simply refuse to acknowledge them because it's complex. They're incapable to address them. I had long never treated my friends and family like therapists, so I only had myself to really figure out how to solve my own problems, which worked pretty well in its time. Regardless, it was exhausting maintaining well-earned good relationships when you have to always be in the act, and these same people I have do not value solitude the same level INTJs need. It was also a huge part why the quarantine isolation made my life so great. I had finally gotten my big break! But then post-covid happened. It wasn't like I was living in isolation during quarantine. I always live with my family as a person who grew up with the Asian-Pinoy culture, so I was always surrounded with people ready to interact with every time in the house. But lets just say that even after all I had done to execute what I had prepared for a post-covid social life, there was this year-long period where people around me just carried with them their post-covid mental health problems and stuff. It was hard to get back to social groups when the majority of these people are seemingly on the edge, and it caused problems for me more times than I could count. That was when I felt a lot of ostracism in my social circles. Most of my social skills I had learned failed to work. And it was a horrifying experience to feel like I considerably regressed as an individual in terms of my own mental health by comparison to how I used to be before covid. And now, I ended up with almost no one able to help me. Because I became so emotionally desperate during all this, I had to relearn that it was indeed unreasonable for me to treat my friends like therapists, and ever since then I feel so weak and vulnerable, always sensitive to rejection, too alert in my social paranoia, unable to feel confidently independent. I'm relearning my bad Se grip habits just to cope, and I know this is not good. It's even hard to stay motivated to keep physically fit, and I was once a moderate weightlifter before all this. I really made a huge mistake for not listening to my own intuition when it had already seriously warned me early in 2020 quarantine not to push myself to meet these future social obligations the moment the threat of covid could potentially be eradicated. But I gave in to my unresolved anxiety pre-pandemic, thinking it would mean I might get left behind with my relationships if I didn't push myself enough. Nowadays, I'm mostly alone. Most of my irl friendships have left me. They're now mostly been substituted by online friends and groups, mostly work-related, which I'm glad there's something productive always waiting for me that I can lean on. But I'm just trudging through life now nearing my 30s, regretting my mistakes for not being more shrewd by listening to my intuition when it had already warned me based from my unresolved trauma pre-covid. I wished...I had acted way more smarter than I did. It feels weird when I'm only envious of my past self for how healthy he was, especially during the pandemic. It's a real struggle to move on when I have no legitimate reasons to let go of this self-grief. I'm scared of making new friendships just yet because of how unhealthy I became...

[@justcallmejon22]

Thanks for telling your story. It's always difficult to hold ourselves accountable and it's even more difficult expressing it, so be proud that you've examined yourself enough to be able to express it as clearly as you did. I'm not Pinoy but I grew up around the Filipino culture and noticed that it's a lot similar to my own, Mien, culture. I noticed that I'm a lot happier with my family if there's distance involved and I noticed that my social circle approached post covid life with new vigor that I couldn't keep up with. As an INTJ, I understand how difficult it is to lose people that you were once close with and I know how difficult it is to accept (because I'm going through something similar) but it's never too late to reconnect with people. It's going to take a lot of time and effort, and it's not going to be easy at all, but it is an option. You can't tell other people how to feel fellow INTJ but you can persevere towards an outcome that you accept to be the best for you. I hope you find your way soon and I hope you inform your friends, whether they are IRL friends or online friends, how much they matter to you. Take your time to feel all your emotions, don't ignore them, accept them and let them fuel your rise back to the top. I believe in you ✊

[@sylviaowega3839]

I’m always absolutely amazed at how many people dislike INTJ’s. I know that as an INTP, I always found to to be the least annoying, or offensive out of all the types. In my life time I found especially ESTJ’s and ESFJ’s annoying with their extreme propensity to pre-judge people, drama, and need to dictate how people should behave and think.

[@fredrikdippel3664]

It's funny you say that because that is my exact experience also. But I'm a bit biased since I'm an INTJ but I feel very openminded and tolerant compared to those *SFJ types.. 😅

[@sylviaowega3839]

@@fredrikdippel3664 SJ types are also not as respectful to those that are differing from them, as as NT’s are with those that are different from us

[@justcallmejon22]

I can see why people might not like INTJs because I met a few of my own that I won't approach again until a few years later after they gain more life experience 😂

[@hollistantang9469]

Well, I find myself to be well liked by most people... Only few hates me to the bone but I don't like them too because of their selfish attitude. As an INTJ, I find most people see me as the "counsellor" that gives advice as well as plans to cope with situations.. Some see me as the "most logical person" they have met and some also see me as the "seer". To some others that worked with me in various organizations, I am seen as a rebel or sometimes as a helper. I have been in many friendship dramas... It is mostly friends I know that end up fighting each other. It is easy for me to navigate myself in that situation.. In organizations that I had been with... I would be seen at first as the "common" person... Then if the leader is a good person, I will be seen more as a trouble shooter... While if the leader is someone that doesn't adhere my egalitarian view, then I will be the worst rebel.. I have become both rebel and helper in real life... Two leaders may have different opinion about me.. Now, honestly I just wanna live a quiet life, away from joining any group and just live freely... It is not that I am anti social or I hate people.. They just drain my energy... I don't hate people but I keep having people knocking on my door asking for my help and analysis..

[@jamiel6169]

As a married, socially active 44 year old INTJ, I appreciate this video.

[@justcallmejon22]

Socially active INTJs are the best INTJs!

[@sandotter881]

Great video from a fellow INTJ ♥ I've been struggling a lot after entering the adult world. Things like buttering people up or just basic social skills in general have always been my number 1 weakness, plus real-time performance.

[@justcallmejon22]

Congrats on finally reaching freedom! Treat learning social skills as if it were a scientific experiment and it'll all click eventually. It took me a few years but it was all worth it. Other INTJs are here if you need us so don't hesitate to reach out if you have questions ✊

[@CollyWobbles._3]

Im an intj... And i understand what you're talking about. I did stop measuring people's intelligence obsessively and opened up (a little), It was very uncomfortable but im good now, i made friends, ofc here and then, i wsjt to be quiet for a lot of time to function normally again, but its so weird to me that people can just talk so much... Its ok, they must be like, "how can someone be that quiet?! " At me too maybe, .. Just accepting people like they are... Its great....

[@justcallmejon22]

I still wonder how people have so much to say and still as surprised when I meet people who enjoy talking. Everyone has their pros and cons, so I understand the pain 😅

[@stephen_101]

Excellent work as always Jon - honesty can be liberating 👊

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you brotha ✊

[@elder7985]

Thanks for the reality check. Definitly need it from time to time. Still working on it though. I work next to my studies in service, this forces me to become more "friendly", but it does help a lot!

[@justcallmejon22]

Took me a while to get where I am so good luck on your journey! It'll be difficult but I promise it's worth it in the end 😀

[@XZ858XZ]

Thanks for the very helpful video. I spend a lot of time thinking about why people don’t like us INTJs. Especially INTJ females. These are great tips.

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you! I hope it helps ✊

[@shaarangvaze8623]

That first one is the hardest to overcome. I used to enter every interaction with other people as either completely pointless or take no prisoners and that's just not how most people operate. As for your second point, I understand what you mean, but it just seems so difficult to do that. I've in the past tried to use an opening small talk conversation point to try to move the conversation to a more meaningful topic, even trying to ask follow up questions to try and determine what the other person might be interested in to get a better sense for what they like and value since I'm willing to listen and learn but it rarely ever pans out and the conversation either peters out or the communication does (might be my fault) Third point has been a hard lesson and still learning. Free flowing thoughts - Fully agree. I've accidentally done this especially with more complex projects. But only because the beginning steps were a good choice and the correct approach was taken.

[@justcallmejon22]

It takes a lot of practice and I'm still horrible at it compared to my extroverted friends. The first step is to recognize where you want to improve and the rest of the steps should fall in place. Keep showing up, life is better when you share it with other people ✊

[@anniefarrell9907]

On offering the "constructive criticism", you are correct Jon. I like to call it "sandwiching". The two compliments are the bread slices and the criticism is placed in between. And thats how you deliver it. -That aside, I enjoyed this vid. It does have a lot for me to take note of and how to grow. Making friends and the like is not hard for me (it's the keeping them part as I tend to distance myself often) But thnks much for this Jon

[@justcallmejon22]

It sounds like you're on the healthier side of being an INTJ! I struggle with constantly wanting to distant myself from my friends as well so we'll continue on this journey of self-improvement together 😊

[@adelinamarice5887]

I spread this video in quora btw because your tips are working for me. My ISFJ friend said my social skill is improving

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you and congrats on improving your social skills! It's a journey and not a destination so we'll continue improving together ✊

[@Konig369]

As an intj whom has had to teach myself social etiquette and manners having two narcissist parents, its been difficult. No one talked about these subjects growing up, and socially i found myself in no win situations no matter what. It may sound bland but i studied classic rules of etiquette, mannerisms and characteristics of people with class, education and social grace. But still, ive had to be an entrepreneur because i cant hold ANY job w.o. being attacked by a co worker or middle management. And become happy alone b.c. id rather be alone then in a bad and contrived relationship. Yes some intj's are the problem in social situations, however extroverts seem to want to bend intoverts to their liking but never seem to meet intoverts halfway

[@justcallmejon22]

Any advice you can teach the rest of us trying to improve?

[@abstract-thoughts]

Low social battery is my biggest issues. I do have social circles but they're all acquaintances.. no deep friendships. I feel i need to spend more time with them... yet the social battery issue...

[@QMS9224]

"Unless you were taught how to be social from a young age" I was both taught and expected to be social from a young age, and fit into general society. But my problem is now as a 30m INTJ, I am returning to my natural roots but it seems at almost the worst time. I had tons of friends growing up and it was actually easy to socialize, even flirt with girls, I felt like a fake outsider on the inside but I approached everything as a video game almost like light from death note. However now I realize my true passions, purpose, I hate wasting time, I LOVE being alone, and 99.9% of those friends I have gotten rid of since I was just being fake anyways. However now I'm in a weird place where I would rather be alone 99% of the time but I still need to find a wife, and it's hard to sell yourself to someone romantically when you have no friends even if by choice. Unless I meet another heavy introvert. I usually will date E girls and they pull me out of my shell but it always burns down bc I only do things bc I love her and out of obligation. Not sure what to do

[@justcallmejon22]

It sounds like you're in a tough spot and tbh, it doesn't sound like a type-related issue. Don't take this as an attack, instead, it's because I'm more concerned about your well-being. Are you currently in or have you considered therapy? I think that will help you find the answers you're looking for. Good luck my INTJ brother, we'll continue improving together ✊

[@coconut2697]

Thank you for creating this video Jon. It's really helpful. I will write it down in my agenda to remind me to practice everyday. But it feels hard thing to do. Have you ever get used to it in the end?

[@justcallmejon22]

Happy to hear that the advices are helpful! Yes, I always try to embody the recommendations I provide since I'd feel like a scammer if I didn't. That doesn't mean that I don't make mistakes, we're human so making mistakes is part of our nature. It takes a lot of practice and will feel uncomfortable in the beginning but I promise it gets easier and will eventually become second nature if you practice it consistently. Good luck on your journey fellow INTJ ✊

[@nickolaszissimos1189]

It is also hard to offend the other Ni dom as well, we INFJs also can see your guys point of view and understand where you are coming from. Also, I have no problem approaching INTJs first. In fact, after observing them, once I realize they are dominant Ni I already know they have something in common with me and they don't have to worry about approaching at all then. I love an INTJs use of Te, it really is refreshing for having Te blindspot and your guys Te is used in a somewhat similar way that we use our Fe.

[@justcallmejon22]

I agree, the way INFJs use Fe is so similar to how we use Te. The biggest issue that I've personally run into in this relationship is when Ti & Fi are involved. We're very stubborn people with our third functions 😂

[@nickolaszissimos1189]

@@justcallmejon22 This is absolutely true, when my Ti truly believes something, it is difficult for even an ENTJ to change my mind, and they could be drilling me with facts. I know that eventually, my logic will kick in and I will be thinking, "what if they are right?". I'm certain it is similar with your Fi. But at least we both speak Ni fluently, our first language.

[@TreasureSeasons]

feelings are fleeting - i'm on the other end of it - INFJ - thanks for sharing

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm sorry, I'm not really sure what you mean by that in context to this video🙃

[@TreasureSeasons]

@@justcallmejon22 I feel for others and get stunted in my thoughts 🤔

[@invictusinc.4325]

“Treat people the way they want to be treated” My immediate response was “NO!”, lmao!

[@justcallmejon22]

Baby needs a binky 😆

[@invictusinc.4325]

@@justcallmejon22 dip it in some alcohol first, then pass it my way, lol! However, I understand where you’re coming from… but fuck ‘em anyway

[@camiloandrespachongomez5965]

This helped. I hope you have a good day. You.

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you 🙏

[@Simon_T_]

Based in this, I seem to not act like a typical INTJ, and already do everything right, in fact I always get to hear how perfect and great I am (I'm so sick of it...). Yet I have no friends, or partner. "Liked by everyone and loved by none" is a well-fitting saying. I've had good classmates and colleagues, but never friends outside of these facilities. When it comes to potential partners, I can't find out what I do wrong, I never get any feedback or criticism, and my dates always end up saying "it's me and not you".. Anyone recognize this, and/or know what I can do?

[@justcallmejon22]

Dude, what does perfect even mean? Doing all the tips that I provided doesn't mean it's going to eliminate conflict, Tip 1 and 2 are conflict resolutions more than anything. I don't have enough information to make a good judgment call but if you're loved by all then you're not engaging much with Fi so I'll start there if I were you. Good luck brotha ✊

[@Manicpixiedreamer]

ENFJ therapist chiming in here… great tips! I could see how with many inexperienced therapists or lay people may over generalize these traits as “narcissistic “. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this popular term. On the flip I could see how this may be viewed as the pop psych term of “love bombing”.

[@justcallmejon22]

Welcome to club INTJ, ENFJ! I'm going to need your help figuring out what part exactly of the video you want me to go over that sounds narcissistic because I genuinely don't understand how advice such as 'Treat people how they want to be treated or 'Spend time with people' comes off as narcissism 🙃

[@Manicpixiedreamer]

@@justcallmejon22 Hi! I was referring to the “Why people don’t like us” section. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a persistent need to feel special. All the INTJs who “can’t have an intellectual conversation” is more a misunderstanding I worry the INTJ’s may be wrongly accused of and that’s unfortunate. That can be perceived as “grandiose” I laughed at, “Stop being a know-it-all”. I hope that makes sense! I really appreciate your videos as they have helped me to be a better therapist! Ben Franklin effect- I’ll be using that thanks so much!!!

[@justcallmejon22]

@@Manicpixiedreamer Thanks for the narrowing down your question. It's a misconception that people who believe that 'other's can't have an intellectual conversation' wants to feel special. It has nothing to do with being special, it has everything to do with being misunderstood. It feels like we're speaking a different language than everyone else and we're hopelessly searching or given up searching for a person that speaks the same language as us. Imagine if you trying to explain your passion to everyone you meet, and no one listens. You're going to know that you're different by seeing a pattern and the pattern is that people don't like talking about (x) conversation. It's a defense mechanism to assume that people just don't like engaging with those topics because they intellectually inferior. It's just more simple that way. In regards to the overarching question of 'why people don't like us', the answer is as simple as they just don't. INTJs collects information using Se, that means we arrive to conclusions after experiencing things in person. After a few attempts to be social, we've gotten enough feedback that we don't fit in, and been in enough situations where people would get upset at us or gossip about us as a result of the INTJ being our authentic self. Narcassim is the last thing on an INTJs mind because that sounds like a lot of work with little payoff. It's just easier to act like we don't care. I hope that explaination provided more clarity and thank you for seeking understanding

[@jocelynleung7480]

My husband is INTJ and he’s said all of the things you said 😂

[@justcallmejon22]

It's always so funny to hear that I'm not alone in that way of thinking. I hope he's on the healthier side of being an INTJ🙂

[@DZM1720.]

I love this, and needed to hear this. Thanks

[@justcallmejon22]

I got you ✊

[@its_ok1783]

100% useful, man. Thank you 😅

[@justcallmejon22]

✊

[@Whyareyoustalkingme123]

This was amazing . Super helpful . ( insert criticism) . - ENTJ 😂

[@justcallmejon22]

Constructive criticism is always welcomed if you believe it'll improve the product 🙃

[@At327]

This made me so uncomfortable but I needed it. Thanks

[@justcallmejon22]

It was just an uncomfortable to record 😂

[@michaelhenault4381]

Self esteem and random acts of kindness works better for me. Thereby, I don't worry about what people think about each other, Forget how you sound to others. Apologies where appropriate works. Move on. Avoid trouble with others. Forget the therapist. Be yourself. You're compensating too much. I have fewer close relationships. Running for office is for others. We're smart 🤓. So what.

[@justcallmejon22]

What you said makes sense but not everyone thinks the same way you do. There are INTJs out there that want to improve their social life 😀

[@Chekuthan0101]

Great Advice..... although it willl take years for me to apply them in my life

[@justcallmejon22]

Sounds like you should start now! Don't worry, I'm here applying it with you ✊

[@TonyDaExpert]

I don’t even know How I have such loyal and understanding friends when I disappear for months on end so often, my best friend is a very mature estj. We get along by making plans together to get through hurdles and just make things. I don’t really express my abstract Ni thoughts tho just how I would plan things and exploit and create systems

[@justcallmejon22]

I feel the same way. I asked my ISFJ friend not too long ago why she's still my friend when I leave and ghost so often and she looked at me like I asked her the dumbest question ever. Some people just enjoy our company 😅

[@cruzscorner4033]

This video was great, I found it very interesting. I am a focused a lot more on Se being my brother is ESFP and my father is a ENTJ trying to get me out and about. I know I don’t offend people as much being I have learned from my family who are all trying to make me less of a antisocial nerd. Because of that I have made a chameleon like effect that is my show personality so I am able to be charming and INTJ.

[@justcallmejon22]

That's how I am as well since I was raised by Fe/Fi dom and aux users ✊

[@bryanedds8922]

Keep being inauthentic. People love that.

[@justcallmejon22]

That's one way of seeing it. The other way of seeing it is to be genuinely curious and commited to self growth. It's all about perspective brotha ✊

[@jrluh]

Thanks for the tips. I think it's far too much effort for the vast majority of people. But I'll try to keep it in mind for those very few I'd like to keep 😂

[@justcallmejon22]

It's not too much effort for INTJs, we're just lazy 😂

[@jrluh]

@@justcallmejon22 "It depends" as with most things. We either care a lot or nothing at all. I know this sounds harsh and should change it... probably. But I don't think it's worth the effort to force myself to do something that feels "unnatural" to get the typical human being to like me. Now, for those who do matter I'd give my life or even dance in public if need be 🤣

[@Fedraco]

You are having me think I am not an INTJ again lol.

[@justcallmejon22]

Where you are or you aren't, just remember that MBTI is a tool used for self developement and not your identity. You're welcome to chill in the INTJ community as long as you'd like friend ✊

[@prakritkhawas2423]

A very useful vedio .

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you 🙏

[@sylviaowega3839]

The only issue I have with INTJ’s is that they have a very hard time trusting people, and can be very stingy with their resources.

[@fredrikdippel3664]

But the reward is even greater when they do trust you and wanna spend time with you. You know it's a big deal and it's worth a lot.

[@justcallmejon22]

You ever consider that you're not stingy enough with your resource INTP?! 😂

[@sylviaowega3839]

@@justcallmejon22 Yes, … that remains possibility. 😇

[@sphrmhmdi]

It's the worst part to find out how people want to be treated

[@justcallmejon22]

Got to accept that people are different for growth to happen ✊🏼

[@PaleGhost69]

15:00 I literally just used that today. All I had to do was cut and paste things in a different order.

[@justcallmejon22]

Exactly! Write out your thoughts and then just move the ending of the email to the front of the email is usually how it happens for me 😅

[@lynnh1682]

Relationships id say no thanks, but frienships are close enough so im here.

[@justcallmejon22]

Whatever makes you happy, I'm all for it ✊

[@lynnh1682]

@@justcallmejon22 haha, yeah i know that saying. Just like the song, If it makes you happy by Sheryl Crow.

[@valerianyeki3044]

Lovely start😂why people don't like us...thanks😂😂But anyway it's true...

[@justcallmejon22]

Gotta Te through the BS 😅

[@valerianyeki3044]

But at least I'm working on to improve😀 I practice Buddhism and metta meditation. It's a difficult and long journey but very efficient🙏

[@MatzeDude1]

How to meet people? Everytime I go outside I'm practicly a ghost for society. I'm not anti social, but it never comes to conversations. I can't start ones. I don't get how this always happens to other people. I always feel alone in a crowded room...😕

[@justcallmejon22]

Point at something and state the obvious. "The weather's been crazy the past few days hasn't it", "You have a cute dog, what's the dog's name?" , "That kid is going to hurt himself if the parent's don't pay close attention." The started doesn't matter, it's the comfort that you build after that will build the conversation. The acronym that I live by is KISS. (K)eep (I)t (S)imple, (S)tupid 😅

[@OSHA_Violator1]

Why can't people just treat me the way I want to be treated? Why don't they respect MY boundaries? Why is it WE that need to work with THEM?

[@justcallmejon22]

If you're meeting people who don't respect you and your boundaries, it sounds like you're meeting the wrong people. Healthy people will listen when you set your boundaries and will leave if it's too much for them, it just takes time to meet the right people 🙂

[@abstract-thoughts]

I wouldn't put a blanket statement that people don't like ALL INTJs. We need to be careful with self-fulfilling prophecies...if you believe people won't like you from the get go...then that's what's going to happen... it's the mindset

[@justcallmejon22]

I understand what you're saying but I'm going to counter it by saying if a person watching this video believes that statement, then they're already feeling that way. I want to make sure that those people feel heard ✊

[@Adkoprek]

Hi, this comment doesn't really have something to do with this video. So I'm an 14 year old INTJ. I sometimes have the tendency to remember my bad experiences more than the good ones, to avaid maiking past mistakes again. Just to be clear, this shows results. When I think about my past experiences, I of course am able to see also all the positiv thinks but how already said, I more drawn to the first one. So is this something bad or normal? Thanks for mainking this videos they are great!

[@justcallmejon22]

Hello! I'm going to be completely honest and say that it wasn't until my mid 20s until I realized that I am for sure an INTJ. At age 14, you're going through a lot of changes both physically and mentally which is a natural part of growing up. I don't think you should look at MBTI to see what is "bad" but instead to find a vocabulary to express yourself so that you can understand yourself better. I'm not saying you're not an INTJ, what I don't want you to do is supress yourself because that's what you read an INTJ should be doing. Feel all your emotions and do what makes the most sense to you. To answer your question, INTJs do think about the past, but so do every other type, and it really depends on what the memory is to determine whether the focus is on the positive or negative. You got this young INTJ, dont forget to live life ✊

[@angelaf6688]

Interesting video as always. Every INTJ should read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Absolutely agree that when you meet new people and you have the expectation that they think and see the world like you, there is little chance of it being a lasting friendship or relationship. INTJs have a unique skill of gathering data points, so use it. Construct and steer the conversation to find information about the person to construct a report with that person. The difficulty I find long term is maintaining interest with that approach. Once the puzzle is built, I'm bored. What are your thoughts on this?

[@justcallmejon22]

I've never read the book but I've heard great things about it and it's nice to hear about its efficiency from a fellow INTJ. In regards to your question about puzzles, my approach in my 30s is completely different from earlier parts of my life. Now, I seek comfort. If I expose my Fi to this person, will they judge me harshly? If not, then I'll endure 'boring' conversations if I'm accepted for who I am, because it feels good to still be recognized as a person when all my cuts and scars are showing 🙂

[@angelaf6688]

That was very true for my 20s and early 30s. Post 40 though, seeking acceptance is low on the list of priorities. Professional relationships are different though, the dynamic requires constant re-evaluation and nurturing to maintain good working relationships. I don't think other types even have to consider it. As an INTJ, managing teams, it's something I do regularly. If you can do a deep dive into professional relationship dynamics with INTJs, that would be great!

[@genowefatrabka2046]

I wouldn't say that people doesn't like us - they are more like intimidated. Unfortunately we don't make them easy to approach us. Till we don't act as assholes, people won't dislike us. Our role is just don't fucked it up, and that's easy. I was suprised so many times, that people at first meeting was thought that I was intimidating. This impression has gone as soon as we started talking, and I wasn't bubbly and cute. Just normal c:

[@justcallmejon22]

Agreed. I was thinking about changing the wording or adding text to make it clear but decided not to because I got lazy 🙃

[@genowefatrabka2046]

Jon pls, i know you didn't change writting, because it generates more views XD (I would do the same), but i think you explain subcject clearly. Anyway, nice video, glad that you back to us.

[@hafeezolaniyi5030]

But u have to admit, it's more work for us than it is for other types to fit in, and far less mentally rewarding

[@justcallmejon22]

I wouldn't say it's more work, I'd say it's different work and INTJ tends to be more annoyed at it than others 😂

[@ellanorn9]

Have you been professionally typed? I'm always curious about others typing experiences.

[@justcallmejon22]

I have never been professionally typed but it sounds fun! Let me know how it goes if you ever decide to do it since I've always been curious 😀

[@beingsomeone201]

Intjs ni te advice is so smooth and direct and correct for me (entp) I expected and feared once that intj would gave me a commander advice but said just the correct things I just told him that your super ego is cillian murphy like just remembered your analytical isfjs ne ti stable advice,,,,it has more plan with logic,,,,,,you are your own teacher none cant be Dont know it was my advice or appreciation just But intj clearly saw the oppenheimer and cillian murphy >> intj for sure Now an movie based on intjs mind I genuinely wanted that Also told that both gandhi and oppenheimer was against war but war hero infj and intj But i gave too much ne fe truth about intj though , some has si past positive based dont know about intjs si demon though Intj clearly had no anger in msg like infj even less than me i think (fe absent advantage may be)

[@justcallmejon22]

Mature and healthy INTJs don't care to command people and will say what is needed the way it's needed. I'm glad you have one if your life that you can lean on ENTP ✊

[@beingsomeone201]

Update He liked all of my analysis...cz 1st first my ne ti some fe rumbling and he gave me short answer, and entp can know behind a sentence linked on to the right things or underlined motive and finally created a ne ti(truth and serenity based meme) than he care for people-- just by his 7 sentence linking up with batman sentences... Lol this is entps came to conclution if they has mature harmonious sharp ti then any persons conference will be getting better we sense those and felt confident more... Cz of my analysis is that true even for the intj mastermind finally giving love emoji after and after❤️❤️ intj definately dont like prise same as entp...entp wish- ni te pathway for will power Intj wish -- ne ti analysis but have to absolutely truth about them for fi moral se duty to be inspired My intj is nothing but a kind soul for humanity inside...❤️ i think more than me❤️❤️

[@beingsomeone201]

& he was happy cz i was proving that intj help people unconsiously but he slept 3 hours a day or less i think

[@Cheeky...Monkey]

i guess these tips are not for me...i really don't seek out people to like me...when i engage with new people, i always treat them the way i want to be treated, with basic human decency...my behavior towards them later on will be informed by how they treated me and the other people around them...

[@justcallmejon22]

It sounds like you found a way of living that you enjoy and I support it ✊

[@turbanheadless]

😭😭😭😭this is harder than rocket science

[@justcallmejon22]

Gotta accept the cringe but you'll thank yourself later 🙂

[@anonygent]

I don't know. I think I'd rather stick an ice pick in my skull and scramble my brains than be friends with dumb people. That would probably help me be friends with dumb people, but I don't think that's a good trade-off.

[@justcallmejon22]

If you look at it from the other prespective, if an INTJ only wants to talk about abstract topics and don't develop a grasp of the sensory world, we seem like the dumb people 🙃

[@mr.bronzo2023]

Fuck… my whole ass relationship got ruined cause I was dumb enough to not know these stuf… I wish I saw this video 1-2 years earlier… :c

[@justcallmejon22]

It okay brotha, heartbreaks better prepare us for the one that matters ✊

[@fredrikdippel3664]

Be careful with asking for help or advice if you're not gonna take it seriously. That could have an opposite effect.

[@justcallmejon22]

Agreed. The message is to learn and be curious so it's not fake but actually something that will benefit you 🙂

[@TokyoTaisu]

So what kind of sensor friends you got buddy?

[@justcallmejon22]

It's like Pokemon, I collected them all 😅

[@CosmicHoneyMotherShip]

✨👏🏼✨🤙🏼✨👏🏼✨

[@justcallmejon22]

👋

[@vbacs22]

One correction: I think a more mature INTJ who is experienced in certain social situations can clearly read the room in most cases, but choose not to give a single f* about it 😂

[@justcallmejon22]

Agreed, but only if no one gets offended. If you think someone might get offended then more efficient just to pretend like you're playing the game 😅

[@Kat-Has-Cats]

I'm 1 minute in and I had to pause. I have been dating people who are emotionally distant, like I am. It's what I'm attracted to. And then I stepped back and said "wait, how do two people date when they always want to be in different rooms? This isn't supposed to work this way. Oh that's right, I'm dating another version of myself. Duh." lol.

[@justcallmejon22]

Whatever works for you fellow INTJ, I did it ✊

[@aocbbl]

What happened to this channel? Gave up on it already? Where was your INTJ long-term vision? 😂

[@justcallmejon22]

Cute, you miss me 😘. Been on vacation. Will start uploading new content soon.

[@aocbbl]

@@justcallmejon22 for sure