35 and confused about men! | Talks with Tony

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[@Dr.Elaine1]

“You should not even want a man until you are at your goal.” TG

[@thegrace-basedstudent5701]

Beauty is fleeting. Charm is deceptive. But a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised. That's the truth, y'all.

[@nettas5437]

Amen 💛

[@august21xp]

Don’t co-sign anything with a boyfriend !

[@VintageAfro91]

Ever!

[@PeaceBeStill-]

Ever ever!

[@tinicoleofficial]

RIGHT! That’s some dumb $h!t😂

[@LadyAngela678]

Amen!

[@ieshjust16]

True but I still think giving your body is worse lol

[@aliciawoods8925]

This man tried to take advantage of me because he could tell that I was insecure... I was overweight, with bad acne, and my hair was short, teeth crooked to the point to where I had a speech impediment . I told myself I gotta do better. I’m to beautiful of a person to be taken advantage of... and so I got braces, working on my speech, clearing my skin up, growing my hair out, I’m about to hire me a personal trainer... I’m doing all of this not for a man but because I wanna see myself as my BEST self. I also wanna attract real love.

[@princesscheyanna3518]

Good luck to you, you deserve to be happy in your body!

[@aliciawoods8925]

@@princesscheyanna3518Thank you 🤗. I appreciate your kind words 🥰

[@AmberBrooklyn24]

You can do it sis! 💕

[@aliciawoods8925]

@@AmberBrooklyn24 Thank you 🥰... you are soo beautiful ☺️

[@AmberBrooklyn24]

@@aliciawoods8925 Thank you so much! 💓

[@rljackson320]

It just seems like we have to do soooo much just to get “chosen” 😩 it’s exhausting… then you better stay on point to KEEP him…but I do agree that you should work to become the best version of yourself consistently.. just do it for YOU!!

[@coachshenamajor]

I like that @RoRo…just do it for you!

[@rljackson320]

@@Kimberlyn308 I understand that and I agree with you. But to think this lady did everything she was supposed to; she’s educated, believes in God, she has her own, no debt, no kids, has saved herself-and is still being told welp, that’s cool and all but you need to lose weight that’s why you’re single 😂 like DANG!! you pretty much have to be “perfect”. It just sounds exhausting, especially if there are women doing those things solely to get a man. I’d rather just know I’m doing all of those things for my own happiness and if someone comes along awesome 💕…but Tony pretty much said to do it for yourself so cool.

[@loveneverends9605]

@@Kimberlyn308 🔥🔥🔥👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@VintageAfro91]

Do it for yourself first and foremost. That will bring you true happiness and inner peace. 💕✨

[@a1xluv]

Amen! Do whatever in word or deed ALL in the name of the Lord! If you do it for the Lord, you are doing it for the betterment of self! I never feel the need to keep up with this crazy and wicked world! I feel like the man for you, is for you: brain, body, and my brand is a child of the Heavenly King! PERIOD!!!

[@shertalkss]

I’ll say this…I’m beautiful, I’m at my ideal body weight, and I make a lot of money. I drive luxury, and I live luxurious. I’m pretty high maintenance. Men approach me all the time and men that come up to me are rich 99.5% of the time (for example just last night a wealthy man bought me bottle service. This happens all the time). And guess what? I’m still praying to God to find a husband! Rich men have completely different issues from men who aren’t rich. People that know me say I’m being picky, but I refuse to settle and I refuse to give my body to a man who isn’t my husband. Please don’t think being your ideal weight will change everything. One thing it will change is YOU! You will be a better version of yourself. But Tony’s right, if I were overweight I would assume I’m unmarried because of my weight, so it’s important that your body is right because it helps your self esteem as you’re waiting to meet the one.

[@heartrose4]

Glory to God! We need more examples like you! Give your all to God, seek Him and let us watch how He blesses you for your servant mindset to Him!

[@patricelee7665]

Glad your not settling sis. Let God send you the right man. Wealthy doesn't mean a good man, many will settle for just wealthy. Stand your ground and wait on the Lord.

[@shertalkss]

Thank you all for the beautiful comments!

[@edema2274]

You’re weight does matter though, your income doesn’t.

[@LadyAngela678]

To put things in perspective: Men are comparing every woman to Instagram girls. If you cant beat them, just be the BEST you can. Its superficial and sad. But it is what it is.

[@bibikhala8693]

And even Instagram girls often don't look like Instagram girls in real life.

[@noneofyourbuizness]

Start searching for a man with no social media, lusting on social media while in relationship should not be normalised ..

[@LadyAngela678]

@@noneofyourbuizness Thats smart. The only media I have is Facebook. And Im seldom on that.

[@noneofyourbuizness]

@@LadyAngela678 from experience i did make my ex stop using it (without directly telling or ordering him )but always express how I hate and it destroy relationship . My biggest mistake . He hid another account pretending to be a man of God 😂.

[@kayeb5953]

Well, this discussion has set my mind free. Now, I can throw all the self help books in the garbage and really start living my life😍💯✊🏾

[@carisma8662]

I’m chunky and married! I caught him while I was chunky, because my charm and cariama is undeniably irresistible when a man I’m interested in shows interest. FYI: I can be very conservative when not interested, and he saw that difference because we met at work. Plus I’m attractive, provides stimulating conversations, I dress nice, smell amazing 🤩 (even when peach cobbler is being served), and I create a trustworthy loving environment for a man to be vulnerable with set clear boundaries! I’m definitely not the ride or die type and he knows it cause I left just like Sherri did!! When he saw me again after I left him and that job, He said immediately that he wasn’t playing no more and I was his wife!! My husband is chunky too, and we are both coming down so we can live longer healthy lives for our children! TG taught me how to keep my cookies 🍪 locked 🔒 until a man is serious about you, and it worked!! I watch TG now for entertainment and because I want to support a channel I believe in!!

[@salenasheppherd2834]

God Bless You sister and thank you for your transparency! It's important to hear testimonies from all sides of the angle because as Tony said, there are acceptions to the rule. I've lost 25 pounds since summer of 2021 and I've been getting more looks and smiles from men then I did before. I'm feeling good about myself and my progress but I'm still not ready to court anyone at this time. Whenever I think about relationships and dating I immediately think about how far I've come on my self improvement journey as a SINGLE woman. That alone encourages me to continue to embrace my singleness, remain (Distraction Free) and keep thriving to be the best that I can be.

[@carisma8662]

@@salenasheppherd2834 I thank you for seeing my story as encouragement, you are beautiful 😻 just as you are! To my beautiful sister: You are the old me, enjoying the single life! Life is better when you really just enjoy loving on yourself in everyway (health included)! People can sense the love you have for yourself and everyone wants to be around a winner 🥇 no matter what size you are!! Look at Oprah! I bet any man on here would take chunky Oprah any day!! Kanye documentary is the perfect example how far life takes you when you believe in yourself no matter what society says, even in the love game🥰

[@nivisky]

Inspirational Girl…👏👏

[@avianne]

Lol, i ain't even overweight 😔 but this one of them vids that make me lose all hope for a min. 😆

[@chancethweatt9851]

I know 🥺

[@ThisizKena]

Why sis? 🤣🤣

[@avianne]

@@ThisizKena lol, it seems to be one hurdle after the other with the male species and the way they think. I think this is why I'm just enjoying the single life. I just dont care enough to even make an effort for a man who only gonna cheat, lie and add more hurdles to what he fancies anyway. But i get that some women want to date and having to face these realities can be a set back for them. It's just depressing

[@Honey_Vee79]

@@avianne Very depressing! I’m sitting here thinking dang I might as well give up lol. Men have a mile long list of what they want, it’s overwhelming….and if you manage to check off all their boxes they’ll add more to the list ! Lol 😔

[@zh1408]

This is exactly why I Judge men the way I do and is very picky with who I accept because they do the same exact thing to women and some of them would even take it as far as verbally abusing women because the women don’t fit their unrealistic standard ! Not having that ! I dish it right back !

[@dublingirl1691]

💯👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼

[@tinicoleofficial]

PERIODT!

[@SandraMartinez-tm8xw]

I’m in the same boat. But I had this realization that God also wants us to be healthy and in shape not over weight and obese.

[@jenniferelmasry7717]

Same goes both ways, if we have to be in good shape so does the man. A man can’t be 50 pounds overweight and expect someone who is not, u attract what U are. Just like if u have kids u can’t exclude men with kids.

[@beefaye6861]

High five up top ✋💯

[@luwilliams1059]

Unfortunately sis, they can lol. It’s definitely a double standard and don’t let them be successful.

[@ZzDippedInButter]

I dated a man at least 250lbs (not muscle) & often told me i need to work out😮‍💨😩 . Im 27 5”4 & fluctuate from 159 to 165

[@Rossi.K]

And this is the problem. Majority of men that want an amazing looking woman look like they came straight from the garbage dump themselves. We want attractive men too! I've learned to stop settling for men that are ugly regardless of how good they are as a person. If you want someone attractive, then you need to fit that criteria too. Period

[@DebraJohnson]

If a woman looks good she can still easily date and marry a man with no children even if she has one.

[@disturbingthepiece2788]

My mom is 76. My dad has passed. Mom has two handsome, well off, healthy, nice looking men that are really good men.. They lost their wives and want to marry my mom, a woman around his age. My mom is overweight but very cute, stubborn and feisty. This has been this way since my dad passed. My best friend's mom is the same way. It may be slower to come but it is out there. These senior ladies may be an exception but it is out there.

[@ashleyk4072]

Speaking from experience. Tony is right. I got my body done 5 months ago and it instantly changed my dating and how I was treated. Even by women. Society is shallow. 🧿 🙏🏽 gotta ask yourself would you date yourself

[@ieshjust16]

What you get done?

[@ashleyk4072]

Bbl and arm lipo. Dr Oliver Chang

[@keikei1943]

Has it benefited you more in treatment?

[@ashleyk4072]

@@keikei1943 yes. It’s literally pretty privilege smh

[@faithwalk.]

I hired a health coach Saturday! I'm about 20lbs overweight. I still get attention this way but I know I am not confident. I really appreciate this talk.

[@deet340]

This one definitely pulled up some childhood feelings. Tony knows because this is what he does. He is not just here for views.

[@Realness4sho]

Absolutely darling💯✅🔥

[@millicentstollenwerck5239]

I have been overlooked and rejected myself in life but I try not to let affect my standards and how I see myself. You have to build your confidence on what God says about you. He is the lifter of my head.

[@overcomerbtbojesus]

Amen well said 💯💯

[@salenasheppherd2834]

Amen

[@keikei1943]

Me too, I have never been chosen

[@roxydee1452]

Right on point how Tony says, Men don't like flirtatious women. For the exact same reason, I have always felt completely put off by flirtatious men! Dude, have the respect to get to know a woman before you try to get "playful"!

[@PeaceBeStill-]

Agree!

[@leahflower9924]

Does this guy have any guys watching when I read comments everyone is a woman it's like an Oprah comment section lol

[@overcomerbtbojesus]

“Playful” 🤣😂🤣😂 i agree with what you said though

[@lynnjones7695]

The one thing you’ve said that I’ll never forget is, you said women don’t listen & you’re so right. I’ve passed on information you’ve taught me & guess what, they don’t listen.🤦🏽‍♀️

[@beefaye6861]

Nah u no ppl don't believe fat meat is greasy....😂😂😂

[@lynnjones7695]

@@beefaye6861 exactly!🤦🏽‍♀️

[@patricemurray6412]

@@beefaye6861 For real!🤣

[@patricemurray6412]

I have done the same thing with my friends and co- workers. They will not listen to one thing I've said to them about these videos. Even if I send the videos.🤦🏾‍♀️

[@lynnjones7695]

@@patricemurray6412 I’ve just learn to keep my thoughts to myself even when I can tell they’re waiting for my advice but nope. It’s too late. No more explaining myself..

[@TiffanyFG]

This message is the truth… I concluded long ago- men have been my biggest distraction. Thought cute/pretty meant something when I was young, and now I see it lead to a lot of wasted time.

[@toyauzzle5732]

This is so much confirmation for me!! I actually wrote to myself yesterday, weight will no longer hold me back!!

[@hn8032]

I'm with you sis

[@audreasmithas]

You can do whatever you put your mind to!! Go Get It!!

[@ieshjust16]

You can lose weight and still not have a good body. The goal for me is getting healthy and fit 💪🏽💪🏽

[@toyauzzle5732]

@@ieshjust16 agreed

[@aprylclark3796]

At my best weight, size 4, men would say that didn’t trust me and I look like I have several boyfriends. Myself being heavier at a size 12, same thing! I can’t win for losing in this battle.

[@brookebenton8192]

Same!! I think it's all about energy. I've been way too focused on looks but see other women of all types of appearances getting all kinds of men. Wtf??! Lol.

[@carisma8662]

You know what’s confusing and not clear about this weight message…..There are soooo many women I know with a Body to die for matched with a gorgeous face and still can’t find a good man! Got the body, money, and mind, but still struggling. There is such a big gray area that can’t be understood or explained, that trying to follow TG step by step guide will not work for all. We live in a superficial world 🗺 but people want substance?! Crazy 😜 I still love TG cause he can give you insight to the thought process of a man and just go from there.

[@ThisizKena]

Hahaha..I took his message in the video as substance gonna keep him..but getting to your "BEST LOOK" gonna get him to walk across that room! 😂😏

[@ieshjust16]

Us black women gotta get fit period. 💪🏽

[@carisma8662]

@@ThisizKena And let me know when this Message materialized in your reality.

[@carisma8662]

@@ieshjust16 Fit for a man? Or fit because health is wealth?? Me and my husband work out 💪🏾 together, but thank you 🙏🏾 for your wisdom. It was appreciated ☺️

[@MissJennifer8]

I feel like I wrote this letter...THIS IS MY STORY AND LIFE FRFR!

[@georgiannalaurie9592]

Men judge a woman regardless. Some women do ask questions. I don't date some men because they don't know who they are sometimes. Some men the first thing comes out there mouth is sex.

[@tinicoleofficial]

Truth!

[@leahflower9924]

The only people more insecure than women are men lol 😅

[@felili_3564]

Tony, let's be clear, JAY-Z cheated on Beyonce! The problem is, is the that internet has destroyed humankind's ability to delay gratification. Everything is so easily accessible now that men in particular, don't have to live up to what their role is as a man. Before the internet, people chose a partner from the local dating scene/ bars, were high school sweethearts or met at work. Also, people held monogamy to a higher standard and believed in the union of marriage cherished partnership and what it represented. Those social structures have been since been broken down and from the looks of it, have very little significance in today's society. Divorce rates have sky rocketed churches are becoming more and more obsolete and morals and self respect are out the window. The fact of the matter is,whether you're big small cute ugly or tall- a man's temptations are strong and because women are so desperate they'll do whatever for attention means men don't have to choose. You can be a J Lo beyonce Rihanna combo and if they wake up one morning and decide they want to hook up with a Lizzo from tinder that day and Lizzo's feeling lonely that Jloncyeana is still getting the short end of the stick. We've got to get back to the basics and gain some self respect and morals again because I'm starting to feel like I'm living in a modern day Sodom and Gemorrah. Btw I'm a 38 yr old single mother who's been in a year and a half relationship with a man of caucasian descent who owns real estate, has been hinting towards marriage for the last few months and would split heaven and earth for my children and I so please don't take this comment as derogatory it's just an observation of mine. So women out there please don't harp on your weight and think that's going to be the answer because you'll get your feelings hurt. Confidence is what men like above all else so focus on that and lose weight because you want to not because of a man.

[@bollagurl]

Yep I say it all the time ,sodom and gamora

[@latoniasmith7164]

Well said...💯. I've been on both sides as the thin girl and the plus size girl, and I do believe most men prefer women who are smaller because society has helped shape their minds to believe it. Look at Hollywood, beauty pageants, and super models. Today it's gotten worse with the strippers and porn stars because now you have to be a super freak on top of that...😁. Even Jlo, Beyonce or Halle Berry isn't good enough. Now you have to be 30 and under. Men don't even care about Godly women anymore. Not even men in the church. It's not their fault. Society has ruined the minds of our men. It's going to take intervention. I pray that God will raise up men who will have the mind of Christ and women with beautiful minds, body and spirit.

[@felili_3564]

@@latoniasmith7164 you don't neccesarily have to be 30 and under now! Im 38 and I get attention from men of All ages like I stated prior, it's about your confidence and how you carry yourself. You've got to be a beautiful ray of light during these dark times and trust me, someone will see you not because you're a size 2 but because of your exuberant aura and alluring essence!

[@soniacharles5292]

This!!!!! Love this comment ❤

[@ieshjust16]

How do yall know Jay cheated on Beyonce?

[@iamchanel_b]

This was so hard to hear regarding plus size women and dating but it was so necessary. I’m dealing with this right now. Great job Tony 🤍

[@iamchanel_b]

@@lovelyladyleo9205 that is a shame ! 😂 I hope you went on bout yo business (in my Tony gaskins voice) lol thank you so much sister for subscribing to my channel ! That means a lot 🤍🤍

[@iamchanel_b]

@@lovelyladyleo9205 he straight played himself sis! 😭😭 Now you can move on to better things and work on yourself! He sounded like some dead weight you needed to get off of you anyways. Congratulations sis 🍾🎉🎊🎈you WON!

[@maryanndominguez9553]

Okay Tony, but I know a lot of girls my age (late 30s/early 40s) with great bodies who are successful and alone. Then you have another problem-the men are just after them to sleep with them. Then what??

[@maryanndominguez9553]

Look at JLO and Mariah, why haven’t they been successful?

[@insideherbagtv]

All men don’t like model size woman that’s a lie ..& what about woman that are in the middle not real big but not slim either ? Touch on that topic please. And no matter what size you are you can always get done dirty by these men

[@divanicole811]

This is the comment I was looking for right here! I have to admit, although I enjoy his channel, when he gets on the topic of weight, I tune out. The mindset is super shallow, & I know I have no desire for shallow men…no matter how “high value” they consider themselves to be. But to touch on what you said…I’ve noticed the same thing. It seems to be the women that are average, slightly tipping the scale, or on the plump side that seem to get married the most. And the men that choose them are humble, good-hearted, down to earth, loves a realistic, & well-balanced woman. Those are the kind of men I go for. Not someone choosing a woman for the sake of impressing or being accepted by their peers, b/c that’s really all it boils down to. How weak. If u can screw a fat woman, u can marry her too. It’s your ego that stops u, & we know what can be said about that. Tuh! Rant over.

[@insideherbagtv]

@@divanicole811 Well said👏🏽..Yes It’s very shallow I think that’s how he truly feels cuz how your saying you tryna help woman but putting them down at the same time , and these woman really listen & praising him for everything he says I’m truly disgusted at this point I thought he had more class then that

[@Toyiamichelle]

Yea cause I'm listening & thinking, how you say if a Man is with an overweight woman, he is a user or gay, how about everyone isn't the same & some people just happen to like what they like. Ive seen small framed Women get used or found out their Men was DL....But if a Man like a fuller figure woman, their an exception to the rule 😂. But I do agree the world does treat over weight ppl a certain way

[@lessiechester]

@@Toyiamichelle The world treats beautiful people a certain way also. I have been hated on my whole. I have been abused by jealous people. I have been harassed and bullied. I am not saying that I am beautiful. I am only saying what society says. So before you have a pity party just remember that beautiful people suffer too. We may even suffer more so because some people tend to go out of their way to hurt us. I just needed to say some things that I have been holding in. It is not my intention to offend anyone.

[@Honey_Vee79]

@@insideherbagtv I agree. I am so surprised and quite hurt at his response. I love Tony’s advise and he helped me through a dark break up but this message was just not it. I can’t even finish I didn’t expect this response. I give up on dating then because of health issues I will never be a thin person. The lady that wrote in sounds like an excellent person and I don’t understand how things went to weight.

[@morepreciousthanrubies511]

"You are enough!" 💛

[@NatashaRenee12]

I’m crying 😢 I’m 36 not a virgin and no kids. And I’m struggling with trusting men, it’s sooo many that’s playing. And here I am a sucker for love giving red flags the benefit of the doubt 😢

[@pooh4025]

I think people should work on themselves because they want to not because they are being told to

[@hn8032]

This is a hard truth to hear. I need to listen to this often to keep me motivated. I have 55lbs to lose. The crazy thing is there's a guy that has shown interest in me at my current weight, but he has feminine mannerisms. I've been thinking he may be bisexual. Tony is definitely telling the truth here.

[@PeaceBeStill-]

I've had that happen too sis smh. Trust your God given gut! If he's showing enough feminine characteristics for you to be concerned, then chances are you're correct in your assumptions. We can't let our frustration/desperation blind us to those red flags!

[@reina6542]

I was wondering why I attract so many feminine men lol. I thought because I’m free spirited. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@ieshjust16]

43 pounds down still on my way

[@hn8032]

@@PeaceBeStill- exactly...

[@hn8032]

@Aiesha Congrats 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾

[@cindeed4422]

This can be said for us really short women. If you are under 5 feet tall, many men think you are insure and they think they can use you. I’ve had it both. The man I married told me he talked to me because I was real short. Now that I’m older and back in the dating scene, many men today think I’m a push over because I’m short. Self esteem has to come in all sizes.

[@tinicoleofficial]

So true! I’m 5’1 & I’ve learned throughout my life to stand my ground & let people know don’t take my kindness for weakness

[@cindeed4422]

I’m 4”10 and I’ve heard it all. You are a giant 😂

[@beefaye6861]

Im 5ft 2in....size 6.....but dude try me if u want to....Im packing this "Tony Gaskins"😂

[@bollagurl]

Wait that’s what it is, this is my story and I had no idea. I’m 5,2 . Still can get men, but they think I’m a pushover. Or if I speak up I’m nagging. I’m so over dating honestly.

[@leahflower9924]

@@cindeed4422 I'm a foot taller than you so I am a giant ahhh

[@1racethehumanrace946]

Just like the lady in the letter I have experienced something similar. I have accomplished alot except I'm still overweight. In my experience I'm finding out that the men I'm attracting now are low quality meaning they don't have their life together. They just want me to try to sleep with me. Or they just want to use me for something rather it be money, a place to stay etc So right now I'm focused on working out, exercising and eating healthy to reach my goal weight. Thank you Tony for keeping it real.

[@ThisizKena]

Keep at it sis! Let's flood his inbox with praise reports by the end of the year!..dats my plan! 🥰🥰

[@jessitabonita]

🙋🏻‍♀️ Same. Let's work on our 3B's for ourselves and pray that Hod sends us the right man who will love us for us! 💛

[@jessitabonita]

@@ThisizKena I love that plan! Gained 20lbs since last January when I left my last failed relationship and spiraled into a deep depression. I'm JUST NOW back to regaining energy to turn my life around and get my credit, bag, and living situation back up so I love that goal of writing a success story to show gratitude to all the wisdom Tony gives us! 💛

[@asiak1334]

You are definitely anointed for this. Thank you for being real the truth hurts but heals when you expect it. I just started watching you this year, I WISH I had been up on your videos.

[@overcomerbtbojesus]

Tony’s right about the three B’s - just before the pandemic i joined a gym and now 2 yrs later i am the healthiest and fit at nearly 50 yrs old than i ever was at 25- men are visual and we have to accept the way men are wired - the other thing about men who may be down low- i have seen this myself- there ‘s a guy who i know who is a trainer and very fit an ripped who’s engaged- he is very effeminate and one would think he is gay if you didn’t know he was living with a girlfriend - i’ve only seen one picture of her and she is a bit overweight but not obese just a little thick and she also looks older than him- she’s already got crow’s feet and she’s not even 30 so from i’ve seen with these young men who may actually be gay tony may be on to something

[@leahflower9924]

Just make sure you're conservative with the guy at the water cooler when you're at work 😅

[@overcomerbtbojesus]

@@leahflower9924 i work from home so no worries 😊

[@ohmygollyahottamale5812]

Most of those circumstances and scenarios is whenever the man is all muscle and fit and his gf or babymama turned wife is chubby, out of shape, older and less attractive -- usually means she's the breadwinner. She has the money, place to live (stability), credit, car and low self esteem. It's why most unaccomplished men live with or are coerced into marrying the Lizzos or Adeles or even the JLo's and Brittney's who date younger men.

[@overcomerbtbojesus]

@@ohmygollyahottamale5812 good observations- with my scenario above what i’ve noticed about her is that the relationship has already aged her and having kids will only add to her physical stress- she looks very weary and tired in the face and has paid a high price to walk down the aisle in a wedding dress - she looks very hardened and i fear for any children she might have who will have to deal with a cold unaffectionate mother- other thing is that the men in those scenarios see themselves as the prize and the women they’re with also cater to that

[@valdraemiddleton853]

I think some guys are scared to approach certain women. Whether a woman is overweight or not, some women have standards, and a lot of times when a guy knows that he just wants to waste a female's time, he goes for one who's passive because a woman who has a strong mind and knows how theses games are played will not let you play them on her. When you know what you want, you are not going to settle. Of course, you want to be the best version of yourself in all aspects of your life, but I'm not trying to be with a narrow-minded man who can't see past my flaws. The outward man will fade, but what's on the inside is what really matters. Your body can be tight today, and two years later, that body spread like peanut butter on a sandwich. Anyway, thank you for another outstanding video. This truth definitely needed to be heard by me and so many others ❤

[@overcomerbtbojesus]

You are right about what you said but made me laugh about the body spread like peanut butter on a sandwich 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂- thank you for the 😂

[@valdraemiddleton853]

@healedandfreeinjc1973 🤣🤣you're so welcome😊

[@misswill8488]

I think sometimes it's hard for women to hear that about men choosing women for their bodies (even though we know it's true) because of the fact that we only can really control about 50% of how our body actually looks. We don't get to choose our features or our body types, and specifics that we are born with, nor what certain things might go wrong that are out of our control or may take time to fix. So that's why it can be hard to hear that men choose women based on things we can only halfway control about ourselves. We can only sculpt what we have and make the best of it. People say they love women in shape, but it seems it has to be the perfect shape because quiet as kept, thin women get just as much slack as overweight women. I'm a petite skinny woman and it runs in the family. We're not super curvy, although I was able to do some squats to get a little something more, but overall not super bodacious. I say that because I don't think people realize that men tend to overlook thin women sometimes too, even though we are within ideal weight, just "not thick enough" as they say. Not exactly coca-cola shape. Nevertheless, I personally have physical characteristics about my features that cause men to approach me so I'm personally fine with how I look. I think every woman does have at least one or two of their best features that makes them look good, and we just have to make sure those things are highlighted and stand out more.

[@kamalaallen459]

I agree with you.

[@joyceparker5626]

You’re absolutely right! I was very thin as a teenager and young adult. The guys weren’t checking for me.

[@tomaradoss3420]

One thing is for sure . I live in a real World. And I have seen plus size women married and shapely women still in waiting.

[@leahflower9924]

It is always confusing what is the ideal anyways I was always tall and most models are tall but I would get made fun of constantly mostly by males and I prayed to God he wouldn't make me grow anymore lol

[@munix9351]

Or maybe you need a stylist to bring the curves out of you. You need a curvy body to create curves. You need fashion!

[@cw8365]

Great insight Tony! Ultimately women need to work on the 3 B’s for themselves vs the validation for men. When the B’s are aligned and a women is happy and whole, she exudes a refreshing confidence and personality that a healthy man that would see the external and internal beauty within her. Women should also remember all attention is not good attention, and him showing interest does not mean you will be considered and/or become a wife or that you see him as a husband. So many people place stock in relationship status vs the relationship health. Many people regardless of looks can get “somebody” but is that who you really want? Many people get married, but it’s the staying married in a healthy relationship. Ultimately men and women should be focused on being their best version and whoever and whatever God has for you, will be for you.

[@overcomerbtbojesus]

You are so right- bad marriages and bad relationships arise from people who have not developed individually as a whole complete person without a significant other

[@beefaye6861]

OMG....you are right TG....some of these "Religious" ppl out here think they don't have to do anything to look thier best....and always talking they waiting on God for a husband.....and don't no God waiting on you to get yosef together for a husband 🙏

[@PeaceBeStill-]

You and Tony hurting all our feelings lol All facts though 🤷🏾👍🏾

[@tinicoleofficial]

Exactly!😂

[@beefaye6861]

@@PeaceBeStill- oh not on purpose....Im talkn about myself too 😂

[@cassandralopez1162]

Congratulations on 15 years of marriage 😊 may God continue to bless your marriage and your beautiful family , thank you for all that you do for us I appreciate you and I’m sure millions & billions appreciate you as well God bless.

[@Iamdanackc]

Whew!! I needed to hear this! Currently on my weight loss journey & focused on my three B’s. The truth hurts but it’s for the best of us. Thank you for another great video TG!

[@itsmekiaratee]

Thank you so so so much for the discount code. I bought my first course from you today, but I’m sure it won’t be the last!! God bless.

[@me2.089]

This is one of the best videos and thank you for the code!

[@fortheloveofmillie3982]

Thank you for being honest!!! We need to hear this!!!

[@productofaprayingmom]

Nothing but the Truth! This was genuinely & respectfully RAW! 🙏🏾

[@reina6542]

Thank you for this video and for the coupon code. Many blessings to you and yours!

[@silentdreams2415]

Be blessed Sir!

[@breannn]

That’s why looks compatibility is very important! People need to quit lying about looks doesn’t matter! It does matter especially to men! If you want to get chosen, you have to put in the work!

[@DebraJohnson]

Looks are important but different things matter to different men. A man who wants to be President will marry a Michelle Obama or a Laura Bush, not a Rihanna or Beyonce.

[@mrc6019]

It's not everything I just wanted to put this here

[@NalaMahal]

13:23 My jaw dropped 😦. I first met my last situation in 2017 when we were both in top athletic shape - we both had prominent abs. We never dated then, but tried in 2021. Life happened s recently and the pandemic worsened underlying issues between the both of us and *we both gained weight* (I gained more than him). We both shared that we can’t fit out fitted clothes. I suggested we both start going to the gym. That worked out at first but he wanted to keep drinking alcohol and smoking. Anywho, he started dropping hypothetical situations *involving another man liking him* but he reassured me that he like “azz and tid-days.” As we kept going to the gym, he started changing in his appearance. He died his hair blond 👱🏿‍♂️ and pierced his nose. He was turning into Dennis Rodman and Sisqo love child before my eyes. I ended up disassociating myself from him 6 months ago. Around New Years he reached out to me essentially explaining that *he thinks he is bisexual.*

[@rosagreene4364]

Thank you for always being honest and fair Tony. ❤️

[@belvega3748]

This is so true tony thank you big bro ,currently working on my 3 Bs …appreciate your work God bless🙏🏽

[@virginiacharles437]

Poor Tony you remind my me of my brothers when they back out of giving me advice! Lol but is so awesome how you keep it real regardless. Honestly it comes down to confidence if you are self conscious then chances are you have work to do! Internal or external. Speaking from experience. I know what I have to work on and I know where I've grown. My fiancé and I are actually growing and changing together. Neither of us have had it easy and have been hurt. But like you said we found comfort outside our race because of our own experiences. But we appreciate each other for many different reasons that normally would be secondary afterthought characteristics. So thanks again for keeping it real. I saw a lot of myself in this one.

[@torriemcglory2149]

Wow, this message though! I highly enjoyed, thks TG! And thks so much for the coupon code: women lol. You provided a code for your bday and now ANOTHER code! Such a blessing you are to many, so I thank you! Many Continued Blessings! :)

[@Jenny-fu3tq]

I’m so glad to know that someone else sees him as I do-an online big bro TY!!!

[@Erica-et4ye]

Thank you, Tony!! Listening to this video, exactly when I have…was right on time!!

[@jellygurl27]

I can not wait to hear the advice you give her. I am not at the end of the video but I can relate. I am 33 and in similar situation as her.

[@tamica4052]

I love the truth in this video!

[@lynnjones7695]

I listen to everything you say. I don’t doubt it at all, simply bc I see it..

[@dominikhouessou514]

Tony , be blessed to.have opened my eyes, my mind... I have been following for just a week and your contents are amazing, I am from Africa, and I can say that realities are same all.over the world.

[@iamcoachcourtney-letstalka4906]

This is hard to hear, but it's real. At least Tony added some humor. "Out of bodied" had me rolling. 🤣🤣

[@Realness4sho]

Outstanding message dear! 💯✅🔥

[@FhasionDivaTV]

Thank you so much Tony. God bless you🙌🏽

[@be_you_tiful]

I have learned so much from Tony as well as other informative video's/books/channels. I learned that trusting yourself is a number one skill to have. When you trust yourself, you know what is right for you and you will not need a second opinion because your intuïtion is so strong. Other than that, all the things Tony includes about love/relationships/men are also necessary which will come automatically when you trust yourself(your intuïtion) and talk to God. The work needs to be done! Nothing comes automatically, thank you Tony

[@missangel412]

Tony is awesome-Always. 🙂

[@terrim8572]

I agree with the last point also…..women who do get ran through do settle for a guy that’s not their type.

[@leannaadams4416]

I think trusting God for the right person it will be better.

[@ZzDippedInButter]

It seems like men make it their mission try to break down the women who aren’t being over looked

[@lw4294]

Yes

[@mariamayub212]

I feel for the person who posted this and I can relate to her. Even though I haven't really struggled with weight as much, most of the time having been very skinny and attracting a lot of male attention, I have struggled to get anyone to take me seriously and often put in the friend zone. Another thing that can happen is that you might have the nice girl syndrome which is something I've struggled with my whole life. We become invisible regardless of what we look like because we're too nice. We accept how people treat us maybe from something in our childhood and as a result, we never ask or demand anything from people. Men tend to not respect a woman who doesn't stand up for herself that much. Without knowing the background as to why. I've also struggled being a type 1 diabetic and struggling with a disease you always feel maybe you're not good enough. So, I also think outside of body issues it can be due to being too nice. I've had guys even dumped me because they said I was too nice. Love your videos!

[@jessitabonita]

Spot on, Tony! Went 28 years without a distraction of a man, and of course I'm in a Mercedes-Benz... but in a 200lb body. It's been a couple months since i escaped a terrible relationship with a total narcissistic man, to realize how much he took advantage of my Christian hospitality and desire to be a wife. 😣 Time to change!

[@munix9351]

Thank God! Run!

[@georgiannalaurie9592]

You are a good teacher. I listen. Women and men are judge no matter what the size, race, gender, height, knowledge or anything

[@angelicagabrieli7169]

Tony, thank you very much for blessing us with another "Talks with Tony". May Our Heavenly Father Keep Blessing Abundantly you, your family and the work of your hands in THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST! AMEN!

[@BrittnePtheBestGirl]

Thank you for the blessing code. 🙌

[@naomikinyanjui2728]

Very true, weight really plays an understated role in the mix of dating

[@jam1369]

Strive for health and wellness, then when you are ready, pray for a husband. I'm not ready lol. I am learning, though. 😊

[@mianorris6696]

Good point, Tony: I think plus size women also have to go hard in their careers because they know no one is going to help or save them!

[@ThisizKena]

Nah..I think the job just becomes your "man"..🤣🤣🤣

[@TalkEssence]

"Men are increasingly superficial; even Christian men... can compare to millions of women..." yep. Men are very into the visual and I'm often called "skinny" - without the curves. Black men often go for skinny waist with curvy breasts butt and legs. So men I've wanted have told me that they friendzone me cuz of that. It's really about 1 or 2 things: Meeting a man who loves my body type or me getting some type of cosmetic work done and working out to gain more muscle mass. Just is what it is. Either of these is very common. I've met sooooo many women inside and outside the church who get bodywork and or workout. I don't judge either. But everyone wants to know that a person loves them for more than skin deep.

[@joiagenae]

Me watching this video as I eat Texas Roadhouse 😫 lol but Tony everything you said was spot on. I know my body is the main thing I gotta work on because I don't think I have a face that only a mother could love lol🤣

[@VintageAfro91]

Great video, Tony! This is why the 3 B’s are so important. Had to come back and edit to say thank you Tony for helping us understand why we, as women, need to be where we want to be in terms of the 3 B's for our own inner happiness/confidence BEFORE factoring a man into our lives.

[@theeemnm]

I needed to hear this video, I am 35 too.

[@nettas5437]

Listening while eating lunch 👂🏽🙂😟😩😂

[@ThisizKena]

🤣🤣🤣...don't worry sis..enjoy that last meal, now! Then get to it!

[@nettas5437]

@@ThisizKena 🤣🤣🤣, thanks sis.

[@luwilliams1059]

Happy Anniversary MONTH!!! ✨ I’m working on this as we speak you spoke about this in your last video and last video lol. Listening 👂 This is 1,000 percent truth no lies told with internet and social media these men go crazy. Tony do you think the black men want marriage?

[@yazmynebright5892]

I have to be honest. I started following/watching Tony about a yr ago right when I met my bf based on his videos and my responses I've gotten from commenting and based on my relationship I should of left my bf mth 3. Tony said something on the lines of first 90 days you should know and he was RIGHT I hate I didn't listen he has put me through so much unnecessary preventable stuff it's so crazy. I asked God to please get me out of this situation as I don't feel strong enough to leave and now were being evicted and going our separate ways Lord I thank you I thank you God.

[@Legacychaser_777]

Sadly I can relate with what your saying. I've seen a lot of ua pretty woman drug through the mud & having low self esteem. Always learning something from you.

[@chanelmitchell1632]

Tony so smart.

[@DD-mg2se]

I knew something kept you single. To lose so much and still have too. Sis, soon as you reach that goal, he's coming to get you. The Christian men I know and see don't even want a woman with long skirts again. They expect adults to look like teenagers. Be blessed love. All the best.

[@vanessachambers697]

Be Blessed 😊

[@kuhlemragala9745]

Tony ❤️❤️I really appreciate you

[@mbrook4983]

Man I’m not 1 bit offended on this because it makes so much since to me..💯💯💯💯 real talk

[@koconutkirby4135]

She’s doing amazing in life. I got pregnant young in now a single mom. Divorced Having to go back to college in finish my goals

[@browsolutions6722]

I don’t think she should stop dating until she reach her weight goals.her self esteem or weight isn’t the issue,her opening up,not being such a stiff is,I think she should see a therapist one on one,to figure this out.I’m not disagreeing with you Tony but I just feel she’ll still have the same issue once the weight is off

[@nataliet.3023]

This topic is not a one way street though. It goes both ways. Women just choose to tolerate more men body types because of other factors (i.e money). But at the end of the day everybody has a preference. I'm not overweight (I got about 5 pounds I want to lose to get to my goal weight). And I do not like even remotely close to overweight men or men that are overly muscular, like just too muscular for no reason lol. That's just my personal preferences and I'm not wavering on those because they're not physically attractive to ME.

[@qscott888]

Good morning 🌞

[@nathannathan7806]

Good job my brother keep up

[@Arizona_lilly]

💯💯💯👏👏👏👏🤑 this is me I’m 35 and bearly my stepping into the pool to date I am scared nervous and looking for a husband I’m working on my weight my looks my business and I’m in a great spot mentally and emotionally physically I’m ok too but be trying to lose weight I don’t wanna dusty men is sad but this is a lot of us

[@ThisizKena]

Keep at it sis! Let's flood his inbox with praise reports by the end of the year!..dats my plan! 🥰🥰. This year is ALL ME..personal development/year of health. I ain't focusing on not one more "accolade" before getting healthy.

[@virginiacharles437]

Love the milkshake statement!! Lol

[@trulycay5714]

I say first of all do it bc god wants us to be healthy and we should want that as well. Some men like full size women , time is never running out sis , just continue to enjoy meeting men have fun and take it slow in getting to know them, alot of men are not stable we are just living in different times as it relates to men I believe God is raising up a remnant though ... listen to RC blake's his teachings bless me as it relates to self love, God, and how to tell when something isn't going anywhere

[@joannamaloney8735]

Soo true !!!!Bravo!!!