353. Cronehood | VLOGMAS DAY 8

[@Periwinkle9876]

My how I loved this video! I look upon my 58 years as a great blessing and gratefully accept the beautiful gifts presented to me as a result. Robert Browning hit it out of the ball park when he said the best is yet to be. lol. Yule Blessings, Dear And Wise Kelly-Ann... ✨🌙✨

[@radiantchristina]

I was faced with what cronehood meant to me when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015.. that , coupled with the fact that i'll be 48 next month. Having faced the idea of death has made me embrace life so much more and to embrace the loveliness of aging and to work with it and not against it.

[@wendywonka2925]

On the same page as you here. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2015. Nothing like looking death in the face to make you embrace life. I did a painting of Vajrayogini (a buddhist crone goddess) many moons ago and my cancer experience made me understand why I was drawn to paint her, there was so much about me, so many misconceptions and wonky perceptions, that needed to die before I could really live. My cancer experience was the cleansing fire I needed to do that, the thing I needed to kick my ego into shape. I'm thankful for it now in retrospect. I needed her darkness to know what my light looked like and only in her darkness could I ever really shine

[@oathboundsecrets]

Yes to me, the crone or hag is the ultimate witch: the liberated woman, as a mindset. The Wild Witch! The idea of an ugly old hag is scary because she is outside the realm of male dominance. She is the independent woman.

[@wendywonka2925]

[@jackcusumano]

Interesting to hear your views on the "maiden." Personally I view her more as the Artemis archetype - bold, independent, strong, adventurous and active, using her power to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves, particularly nature and children.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

I love that.. A totally empowered way to define the archetype!

[@alexv411]

jack cusumano I totally agree with that!

[@faeriehearthwitch6185]

We feel very similar on a lot of this. Mother/daughter relationship is "Yuck" here too! And I never had children, so I realized I had to redefine the three aspects. For me the Maiden is about "Becoming", much like the Fool in the tarot deck, taking those adventurous steps and having the power to take the journey of life on, with both the good and the bad. Mother more like the Magician, one who has all her tools at her fingertips, some experience behind her, and able to "birth" things and concentrate on creativity. For me Cronehood (which I am still not officially at, despite being 54) being wiser, more experienced, being at the highest level of your knowledge, as well as worrying less about trivial things and yes, wearing what you want, doing what you want, not caring what others might think! Favourite Crones? Tasha Tudor is one though she has passed. Maggie Smith and Judi Dench are good examples of Crones for me. Wise, bold, creative, secure in themselves. One of my older cousins, as well.

[@The616Necropheliac]

I have always struggled with the Maiden/Mother/Crone archetype as well. For similar reasons, I never identified with the maiden or the mother and I found the terms somewhat insulting - the idea that all women go on a virgin>mother path. As a non-binary person I also felt that the first two phases were overly feminized and only the Crone was allowed to let go of that societal femininity and find a strength in womanhood. I have always found mature women enchanting and wise. I am absolutely not afraid to age. I wasn't always in this mindset, I had to work to get here and deprogram myself from my societal conditioning. But I am here and I know I'm nowhere near the Crone phase. But I would very much enjoy opening a discussion in the "witchy" community about other, more modern (perhaps even gender neutral for inclusion of non-binary and male witches) labels to use for the first two phases. I think I associate the Fool with the first phase, as a very green and naive individual that has nothing to do with virginity, just youthful energy and curiosity.

[@ihatemickiegee]

Kittie Kat omg the fool is perfect to replace the maiden with! like in the story of Kore as Persephone’s maiden phase, the side that was still so protected by her mother Demeter, that picked those flowers and gave into temptation and ate those pomegranate seeds unknowingly binding herself to the underworld and in a *sense* becoming the “daughter” of hades whereas demeter and her daughter’s innocent childlike form as Kore was so highly cherished by her that the earth went cold and dead whenever she was away, but kore couldnt communicate that that world was her home, and once she began to transform she became the mother figure until her final form as persephone. that was a rambly story explanation of agreeing with you but yeah i just love the idea of the maiden as rather the fool, she was full of life and got kidnapped and didnt know what she was doing binding herself to the underworld but it actually ended up helping her grow into a fucking queen, a wise crone, full goddess form... we all start as the fool and we live and learn and grow into our power. thannk you for this comment! the goddess hecate is most revered and known in her crone phase and i personally believe she would be just as great a deity if i was nonbinary aswell, if you’re curious or open to suggestions of powerful deities for any person with any beautiful variety of characteristics! i know your comment is old, but, take care 🌹

[@witchydogmom3281]

This video has bubbled up a lot of feelings within me, and I feel that I must make a video soon. Specifically with feminism and womanhood and how people are treated in general and the stereotypes that we place on women, especially in the United States. The wheels are turning for my next video. Thank you for being such an inspiration!

[@ambersintron2298]

you have nailed this for yourself...you will be more prepared than many who have not harnessed the energy of crone before they have reached there.....I am in the age of the crone and I did exactly what your doing today to help my tomorrow....May your (tomorrows) be strong and powerful.....

[@jenniesue927]

Wonderful. I for sure thought of Iris as you went into this video. I keep company with a thoughtform I consider to be my best-case, 70-year-old self. I ask her advice and think about her a lot. There are things only she knows. And sometimes we go jogging. She's a great coach!

[@Zoe-wl2gt]

I love this!! I've always been terrified of growing old and shied away from learning about the crone. But I can see now that it's because society drilled it into my mind that you can only be beautiful if you're young and wrinkle free. Well fuck that, seeing it as an act of rebellion is definitely the way to go! Now I almost can't wait to be a bad ass granny with my teal hair and faux leather jacket. Thanks for bringing this topic to the forefront, loving your vlogmas so far! Blessings xx

[@TheWhytchInTheShadows]

I love the description you wrote in the box. I really hope that everyone reads it. It would be interesting to see you make a video talking about the comparison/differences between physical/mental Cronehood. Great video and Blessed Be darling!

[@CygnetSilks]

Yes. I think valuing and appreciating the crone energy is important. There's a wonderful lady in Oregon, Kaya Singer, who wrote a book called Wiser & Wilder about embracing that energy, partially as applied to personal evolution, and partially as applied to stages of development in different parts of life, in business and creative pursuits. It's awesome to see women really living life and being badass at all ages.

[@carmentheveganpt3643]

I am absolutely loving these daily videos!!! such a treat :D so nice to meet you at Witchfest Kelly (said hello after invoking the Dark Goddess workshop) hope you enjoyed your DnB event :)

[@meadowrae1491]

I hadn't thought of cronehood quite that way before, thank you! I will say that the concept of motherhood, as presented in paganism, really helped me with accepting my transition into motherhood as one of responsibility and sovereignty and honor rather than entrapment and a loss of youth, desirability, marketability, earning power, etc. I just love my path for the place of honor it gives women. :)

[@bookwight]

SO MUCH YES. I have the same troubles with the whole maiden/mother/crone thing. It reduces women to their reproductive status, which by rights should only be one aspect - and an optional one at that - of a person's life. …And I could say a hell of a lot more, because it's such a huge topic, but I'll just say this: Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you for this vid.

[@EllensLaughter]

Loving this discussion. A few years ago, I wrote a blog post about evolving. The one sentence I wrote that has stuck with me is, "Wisdom is the crown of the crone." And I wasn't claiming the crown, so to speak, so much as I was understanding that cronehood - unlike what "popular" culture would have us believe - is an achievement, of sorts; something to be welcomed rather than condemned.

[@Marizeye]

I love that you are talking about this, thank you so much! It is spoken about so rarely on youtube. And I totally agree that age isn't any indicator of wisdom. But then, it works both ways... which I think is often forgotten by us when we are younger and feel immortal. I think one has to take care with appearances both ways. "Young" people can look at old people and based on behaviour and looks decide that they are not wise. Old people do the same when they look at the young, often. Rather than looking at age for wisdom, I look at how much or little a person is able to look at someone very different or much older/younger than them, without jumping to conclusions about who they really are.

[@curiouskatsayshello4673]

Wanted to drop a quick note: I just adore you! You're so inspiring for me right now. Thank you for making these videos. They have given me a lot aim for starting my own business and embracing my spiritual path. I look forward to many more 💕✌🏼️

[@irisiperle3369]

Thank you Kelly-Ann for doing Vlogmas! Loved the Cronehood Video! Love You!

[@beakywitch6260]

I feel that cronehood begins at menopause. I am 53 and consider myself a crone but people around me want to believe she doesn't exist. I enjoy being in cronedom and embrace it.

[@meianoiteastrologia]

I have been saying that to people all throughout the year, talking about how aging should be exciting and how much value is placed on youth. I actually said that to my mother a couple of times, as I saw her own struggle with her aging process, exactly all those things, about aging with style and power. I am loving to hang out with you everyday haha. Love, Light and Power regards.

[@MahasTreasurebox]

that was amazing! Thank you! such a blessing to see your lovely face on a regular basis this month!♥♥♥♥

[@Periwinkle9876]

Isn't it just!!! 🌙

[@llengsuch3426]

I first encountered the "triple aspect" concept via Terry Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters: Magrat Garlic, Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax. Off topic, after watching your Vlogmas vids, I seem to have caught your sniffles. I don't understand how, because I have anti-virus on my laptop.

[@tamipie]

croning it, and loving it!

[@SallyAnn191]

I was never comfortable in the Maiden stage and longed to age. I'm now in my late 50s and believe I have arrived at the Crone stage. I feel so comfortable here. For the first time I feel a genuine connection with Spirit - I was given the name I use here. I wonder if there can be male Crones? I certainly have one if so. I punched the air in agreement when you mentioned Iris. Love her. Blessed be. xx

[@2achel]

What are your thoughts on the addition of the Maga phase between the traditional Mother and Crone phase. The Crone used to be from menopause to death - which was a fairly short period of time in a woman's life historically. Now we are post-menopausal for decades and still physically vital for much of that time. As a nearly 45 year old with adult children I no longer identify with Mother (rarely did) nor with the traditional Crone. I really welcome and resonate with the concept of a Maga phase - the autumn before the winter :)

[@WestCrow00]

I had very similar hang ups with the words and ideas around maiden and mother. Even now I'm not overly fond of using them myself. The crone aspect was also Slightly more relatable to me even as a teenager because of the not connecting with maiden or mother concepts. I tend to look at that triad more as past, present and future which isn't exactly the same thing I know, I've just been more comfortable with it. :)

[@hannahgreen9998]

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on male witches and how they might relate to the maiden, mother, crone aspects. I know, as females, it's not really our place at all to say, but we never hear much about it, being that there is so much emphasis put on the female journey as pagans and witches.

[@mmhmmmificate]

I've been blessed to have met many 'crones', in my own family and outside of it. I think the idea of equating age with wisdom is more complicated than it seems on the surface; the crones I've met have been wise in unexpected ways. They're not necessarily better at living life, or more open minded, I don't think that's a reasonable thing to ask anyone to be. But they have learned things that are occasionally expressed in ways that you remember forever. I believe it's worth respecting -- and even revering -- them for those moments alone.

[@jan1babs]

Hi, loved the video but I can't make the links work. Could you let me know the name of the channels for Jill and Thorn's videos please so I can watch them too. Thank you.

[@musative]

My favourite crone is the lady who dresses all in green. She's from Carroll Gardens, and has worn only green for the past 20 years. If you haven't already come across her I think you would love her vibe, give her a Google! She made a fab video about her style.

[@PowerFemme]

Yesyesyes to your thoughts on the triple Goddess. If you've not yet come across it, I suggest Firefix-Allen's book Jailbreaking the Goddess, which elaborates a non-linear, non-biologically based five-fold model of the feminal divine. It is muchmuchmuch more inclusive (especially to queer and trans folks) and multifaceted. The book truly is a must-have for feminist witchy folk.

[@CaeliaRemnants]

I've mostly removed the idea of maiden/mother/crone from my practice, it's a nice construct though, but I feel removed from it. But I guess I'm more connected to the idea of the crone, mostly because I've always liked old people, I love that they can forget and remember things simultaneously (I'm probably going to look slutty at 90). But I don't really identify with any of it - but it's an interesting question, who are your Crones (and maidens and mothers for that matter)? I'll probably have to think on that one...

[@Teakai8]

Crone's a horrible word. The etymology of the world is not at all representative of a wise woman. I generally opt for Maiden. Mother, Mystic - or Mother, Maiden, Mage. Which one would hope to be the evolution of womanhood.

[@romancingthepassport397]

I needed to hear this today! I turned 46 last month and I've been in a weird space around it. Not bad or good, just weird.

[@littlezencrone]

Hey there Darling - well wow...Thank you for watching and your lovely kick ass response! You gave me so much more to think about! Truth be told, I do struggle with my aging looks and body. but the flip side of it is that there is this FREEDOM in cronehood that is delicious. My make-up bag is MUCH smaller! And yes, I wholeheartedly agree that cronehood is not a number - it is earned. It's earned by going through, facing and growing through the shit that happens in your life. And then it's about how you handle that growth. Are you embittered or does is temper your spirit and soul and bring compassion and warmth and understanding and acceptance? I had two grandmothers one was my rock, the other had the emotional intelligence of a three year old. Loved her, but Jesus she was high maintenance! And OMG IRIS!!! YES!!! Katharine Hepburn too . By the look of some of the comments the label of "crone" is problematic. Coincidentally, labeling is the topic of my next video because interestingly, I'm okay with being a Crone but I kind of choke on the word "witch!." Connotations are interesting...hmmm I'm going to have a think on this. Much love, thanks and blessings. ox

[@wfalgo1]

I love Iris too! I totally identify with what you had to say regarding not identifying with maiden or mother archetypes. I'm a plus size woman and I always felt like I didn't fit into that idea of the wispy thin virginal maiden beauty who was traditionally attractive and sexually appealing. even in art and decks she's always depicted like a woo woo victoria secret model. I too don't plan on having children so I don't identify there either but I have always admired crone. I look forward to the point when a woman's looks aren't supposed to matter and feel like I will really shine in that aspect of life. I've always loved being around older women, soaking up their wisdom and stories, and admiring the clothes and jewelry they've acquired over a lifetime of adventures.

[@flyfree1039]

You are BRILLIANT!!! Thank you sweet ❤️

[@authorkaterinadennison]

I wonder if you'd consider sharing your thoughts on being in the "Mother" phase of life without being a literal mother. I'm currently struggling with this as I deal with infertility and I'd love to hear your thoughts about how this phase of the triad (or at least its title), excludes so many women who don't have children either by choice or circumstance. I always appreciate your wisdom Kelly-Ann. Thank you.

[@juniperparla3584]

I get the same video in the links to Jill and Thorne..

[@lovehopehope8238]

thank you so much for your wisdoms miss your videos miss you , ,love your hair 💖😘💖 hope to see you more 💖😘💖 love ya 💖😊💖

[@Gr33nsn33k]

has she ever made a video on stones? I'd like to hear about her stones and what vibes they give you

[@tarotmumma56]

What are your thoughts on book of shadows and grimoire I would love to hear what u think should be in them or anything u can say about them really x

[@nowhere2227]

omgoddess! I knew when I found you that I had found somebody wholly sympatico.....but when you just mentioned Iris....shut the front door! :-) :-) :-) :-)

[@artlily8]

That was "meaty"! Love it!

[@ruuneverse2585]

Wonderful video and very timely :)

[@joannabranch8001]

Hi! Have you or anyone else seen anyone discussing the triple goddess as a trans woman? I really disconnect from them as the biology sort of doesn't line up for me. I do feel a bit adrift with goddess spirituality despite how much I feel called to it.

[@nunoatalaia3963]

As I heard you speak I could not help and reflect on the possibility of the same triad in the male experience. Granted my position as a male creates quite fragile arguments since I do not wish to further impose a male subjectivity but I noticed one thing I would like to ask you about: For men aging is not so much an entering or exiting of the sexual order but rather different modes of relating to it. This is especially interesting concerning homoerotic arrangements which are common for any society regardless of how homophobic it maybe. If we accept that then the male maiden is being objectified sexually, the male mother (which actually just means fully developed male) is the embodiment of sexual being, the male crone is the one who objectifies. I think that though these sexual modes would be related to specific ages, at any given moment we can switch from one to another. I say this because I'm not entirely sure why you would dessexualize the crone or at least, I fully understand that as a woman you're relation to being objectified is never ending and oppressing. But maidenhood can also be an experience of "empowered disempowerment", motherhood a "manifested power" (which could be expressed beyond mere birthing or childcare), and cronehood as the "disempowered empowerment" of the woman who can objectify. This is a bit... hmm.... rambly and silly I know. But I was wondering if you see the possibility for being sexually objectified to be in any way an empowering experience for women or if we're simply not there? Also is there a specific reason why you relate cronehood as outside the sexual order? PS - sorry if it's a bit stalkaresque commenting each and everyone of your vlogs. I just like them so much I decided to do a vlogmas-ments (comments for vlogmas) on these little pearls you're sending out. ^^

[@proxxyBean]

Do you have advice for how transgender women can interact with the Triad Goddess?

[@oathboundsecrets]

LepidopteraLady apply the concept to yourself: a transgender virgin, a transgender parent, a transgender elder.

[@GhostQueenParanormal]

Enjoying your channel, from another chick with purple hair and bangs!🤓🤣

[@vigneswariramachandran6953]

it's true what You said about age relating to wisdom.. my landlady is 80 but behaves worse n well

[@vigneswariramachandran6953]

I m not close to my mum too