Types of Regrets 1) Foundational if only I had done the work / preparation / maintenance 2) Boldness Regrets if only I had taken a chance / acted 3} Moral Regrets if only I had done the right thing / good things 4) Connection Regrets Human Needs Stability Chance to take meaningful risks Want to Do The Right Thing We want meaningful connection (Greek loves: eros, agape, Action Regrets vs Inaction Regrets What would you tell your best friend to do? Regret (agency / responsibility) vs Disappointment (no agency / not fault)
@lucyfabulous Жыл бұрын
notes
@zain1002 жыл бұрын
We need more series or episodes like this where a professional answers queries of people. It was very helpful and my understanding became more clear when he goes step by step into resolving the regret.😍
@carlosfloresherrera58932 жыл бұрын
Totally agree!
@Sbannmarie2 жыл бұрын
Agreed!
@carloctave2 жыл бұрын
Maybe it's just me, but he looks like a young Bob Saget.
@mr.c24852 жыл бұрын
Steven Colbert
@melissadunn83012 жыл бұрын
yes i thought the same! rip bob
@kindofbluenyc2 жыл бұрын
Boldness Regret Moral Regret Connection Regret Foundational Regret
@vaidap19112 жыл бұрын
I regret not having thought about my regrets sooner! The lack of wisdom in realizing that our time is finite and it does run out. 🌸
@aminabouyahia31762 жыл бұрын
I love how you talked about such a complicated thing as regrets in a simple,clear and most of all human way. I love how you reacted to Lilly's story and how you helped her to see clearly through her own experience. This was very interesting and most of all I enjoyed it. BRAVO! THANKS FOR SHARING . I wish Lilly all the best 🙂
@kiwiopklompen2 жыл бұрын
My theory on this is that you should not regret anything and here’s why. Because no matter what choice you make, at any given time, you can not possibly know what would have happened if you had made a different choice. For example, you regret that you left school early. Ok, so then you stayed at school and the very next day, fell down the stairs, broke your neck etc. Think about it, every time you make a decision you leave the other decision open to regret. Having regrets can make you miserable, and so there’s only learning really. There is no possible way, to do everything ‘right’ in a life. Life is complex, complicated and regrets are a construct that we can change, into reflection and stories.
@wisdomforlife69002 жыл бұрын
Suffered same thing as Lily. Regrets that though. Was shy, timid and didn't get to grab ok the funs of childhood. Now, I chose to be part of things and no longer exclude myself. Grab every fun of the moment that I can. Be in the fun
@dr.detroit28772 жыл бұрын
My only regret in life, is putting my faith in the wrong people. People have constantly disappointed me in life.
@scottf57912 жыл бұрын
Same!
@mollysimmons29602 жыл бұрын
I hear ya‼️
@HardLovinGirl2 жыл бұрын
Never regret that! :) Never lose that. 💜
@tanatswamurwira36042 жыл бұрын
I have many regrets that I often think about, especially those of inaction, so this talk resonated well with me. I never really knew how to deal with them and move forward but now I feel equipped to tackle these regrets.
@fleshtonegolem2 жыл бұрын
I paid off a debt yesterday that the person I owed had forgotten about. When I paid them back, I LITERALLY felt lighter.
@b-m44012 жыл бұрын
Yes! I feel this, there's a reason they call it "letting go"
@MardanAliyev2 жыл бұрын
I have been thinking about my regrets for a while now, and I think when we dive a little bit deeper in this concept, we may potentially see that most of our regrets are just some kind of "objects" that do not fit the societies expectation "boxes". We all are different in some way, and it is okay to be shy or introvert or any other type. I believe that without those "boxes", people would have noticable less regrets and would even be proud of the way they are / act in certain situations.
@Llerrah5082 жыл бұрын
That's a great point 👈
@mr.c24852 жыл бұрын
I regret being shy and an introvert when I was young. I also regret the fact that my parents set me up for such characteristics. Additionally, I regret how those situations, that were out of my control, cost me a more fulfilled life. Now I regret that I can’t recapture the time that was lost.
@Llerrah5082 жыл бұрын
@@mr.c2485 well said. I'm right there with you. 👊
@henrychang3402 жыл бұрын
@@mr.c2485 Try to learn from that and focus on the present and the things you can control. That's how you will live your best life and prevent more regrets.
@henrychang3402 жыл бұрын
I think one of the biggest regrets is not living and acting the way you actually want when you can.
@aveoak63647 ай бұрын
I am an overthinker and I do have a lot of regrets. I struggle with letting go and accepting change, even though I'm not affraid to take a chance. The problem is that I always think what would happen 'with the road no taken'. The truth is in every decision we are doomed to fail or be sucessful. And there is always other outcome possible in every situation. I think the advice Daniel gave on having compassion on ourselves sits very well - we are here to experience life and we only learn to live by living which implies making mistakes. Amazing class on regrets. Thank you!
@AsadKhan-rn9pt2 жыл бұрын
I regret not being brave enough in high school to beat my depression and go to medical school. I feel like I betrayed myself. I hate myself at times and can’t forgive myself at all. I’m now 26 and I don’t know if going to med school now is possible. I used to be so hopeful for my future and now I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I saw lots of people casually get along with their studies and many of them who were less academic than me ended up getting into medical universities. It kills me on the inside and I don’t have any way of coping with it. I did a degree but I’m just not passionate about what I do. I regret so much. It’s so painful.
@mr.c24852 жыл бұрын
Not too late…
@auraleefae2 жыл бұрын
I can relate a lot to what you said. The best advice I can give you is to stop beating yourself up about what could have been and stop comparing yourself to other people. In the end it won't matter how old you were when you got there, the only thing that will matter is whether you actually got there. Not saying it will be easy, but if it is what you want, then it is worth fighting for, no matter your age. Go get your medical degree and save some lives. 💚
@dianadeejarvis70742 жыл бұрын
FWIW there are people who entered med school when they were twice your age and made it through.
@mehgamer4672 жыл бұрын
@@dianadeejarvis7074 this. I went to school with someone 40 who was taking his GEDs for med school. It's never too late. Just may be more work
@wisdomforlife69002 жыл бұрын
Even 28 isn't late. Go for what you want so you don't have more regrets tomorrow for not atleast trying when it was still possible
@dariusthurman88352 жыл бұрын
I have too many regrets to count. From my weight, to my love life, to crashing my moms cars, from my career. Over the years they piled on to each other. My shame endless.
@proveritate93122 жыл бұрын
When we want to make a decision, and we ponder, it might be essential to get an objective view from someone that knows us. As a single unit, it's so easy to be influenced by our emotions or upbringing, or applying rules and regulations that we were brought up in. Most times we don't know ourselves. Or we want to live up to other people's standards except what will suit us !
@redsix51652 жыл бұрын
Regrets: (1) stability - should have worked harder to build capability (2)change - should have taken that risk (3) moral - the wrong thing still bugs me (4) relationship - should have reached out to repair
@rapho85392 жыл бұрын
Regret ends with acceptance. Frank Sinatra: 'Regrets, I had a few, but then again, too few to mention...I did it myyyyy waaay!'
@logicaboveall59752 жыл бұрын
Regret is dependant on time. Decisions I have made at the time come with hardly any regret until time unfolds reasons to have regret that decision. Looking back at Decisions we've made knowing what we know now we should regret almost every decision knowing other outcomes that could have come from slightly better or entirely better decisions. Yet another cruel paradox of this pointless universe.
@jedilady44852 жыл бұрын
The only regret my relationships had was letting go of me and them trying to go back, when in fact it was too late for me to let them in again. I am a very happy, thoughtful, no quams person and sometimes when you are too nice they take you for granted. Right now, there's someone I really like... How should I tell him that he might regret loosing me? Would it be narcissistic? Yay!
@vaidap19112 жыл бұрын
My biggest regret is not having realized what my regrets were sooner. The wisdom of knowing that time is finite comes too late in life, it does run out.
@Overtonl12342 жыл бұрын
My biggest regret is believing in the wrong people in my life. It’s gotten me nowhere but screwed over time and time again.
@tiararoxeanne13182 жыл бұрын
4 types of regret in summary: 1) Fundamental regret: If only I've done the works 2) Boldness regret: If only I've taken the chance 3) Moral regret: If only I've done the right things 4) Connection regret: If only I've reached out Regret is like the negative picture of a good life: 1) A life of stability 2) A life where you have the chance to take a few risks 3) A life where you're doing the right things 4) A life where you have people who love you and whom you life
@brant-bi85632 жыл бұрын
Made me think kinder of my regrets, thank you
@seandoherty88582 жыл бұрын
I think you should keep in mind while watching this video is that our intuitions often have a reason for being: so if you feel too shy to talk, maybe you had a bad experience at a young age where you opened up. Maybe you could be easily abused by someone and you have a funny feeling about them: often times your intuition is important to keep in mind, it is trying to help and protect you. Though a critique on this view of mine would be that its almost always better to take the bolder choice (overcoming fear to achieve your dreams as he mentioned)
@matzof2 жыл бұрын
I think the whole concept of regret is wrong, because it is the act of mourning over lost possibilities that will never happen again. Instead, wouldn't it be better to think about mistakes in the past and take steps to avoid them in the future?
@eliza.the.earthling2 жыл бұрын
Yes but he does discuss how to respond to regret with actions for now/the future in this video. Did you watch it? No judgement if not, though this video does at least begin to address your idea ☺️
@notagain37322 жыл бұрын
How did this get 10 k views in less than 6 hours??? I watched loads of ted talks and many of them are years old but some dont even have 5k views while being great. Lets make this go viral haha
@libaobao20092 жыл бұрын
When I was 10 as a young small girl, saw my grandmother fall down, I should help her to get up but I run away, cause I have a quarrel with her days before, my brother help her up finally, months later she died, and I keep on regret for almost 30 years, oh god, who can help me, I know I should forgive myself but just cannot
@Ausf2 жыл бұрын
Even if you're a sociopath, or don't have any of the four core regrets you listed, you can still see how you could have made different choices that would likely have created a better outcome. I'm not hung up on any of them, but I can definitely see choices I made, where I didn't realize the consequences at the time, could have played out differently.
@iferren2 жыл бұрын
Mi resumen de la charla. Un genio! 4 tipos de arrepentimientos 1. Arrepentimientos fundacionales 1. Tomaron opciones que no les dejaron tener la vidan que sueñan el dia de hoy 2. Si tan solo hubiera hecho el trabajo 3. Queremos estabilidad 2. Arrepentimientos de ser mas inteligente 1. Hace x años pasba algo y porque estaba con miedo no lo hice 2. Las opciones de tomar accion o no. 3. Si tan solo hubiera aprovechado esa situacion 4. Queremos demostrar quienes somos 3. Arrepentimientos de moral 1. Hacer algo incorrecto o no hacer lo correcto en algun momento 2. Si tan solo hubiera hecho lo correcto 3. Queremos hacer lo correcto 4. Arrepentimientos de conexion 1. Haberse distanciado por alguna situacion. 2. El otro no le importa lo que haga 3. Si tan solo me hubiera comunicado 4. Queremos amor y conexion
@Jagrit012 жыл бұрын
Everyone need to see this
@nightman86122 жыл бұрын
Finally Ted is interesting again.
@naytfb7392 жыл бұрын
I can already tell this video is going to be super underrated
@Marysiewert2 жыл бұрын
My heritage questions to ancestors I held back in asking because they were ashamed to be different.They talked a different language. Now they are gone. I regret not asking questions.
@peterdollins36102 жыл бұрын
I regret not being able to look through your book collection. I regret making a shrine of my regrets.
@lalremmawiapachuau78152 жыл бұрын
One of the best Ted Talk it is...
@PaigeStevens-b6m Жыл бұрын
Hi there, I had a client communicate with me that he was shown this video in a treatment setting and had felt insulted by the comment that people with brain damage are unable to experience regrets. I understand significant brain trauma can interfere with processing information, but in my experience, people with traumatic brain injuries (TBI) still very much experience regret deeply. It may be helpful to clarify this information as to not misrepresent this population. Thanks.
@stephans.61582 жыл бұрын
I regret having regrets without taking action
@amalshine95112 жыл бұрын
Yes, this is the hardest, like You wanna change but You feel You can't any more, maybe because You think that If you change, You may regret that this change didn't happen earlier,or it is late now, it is a very hard cycle 💔
@hummersd2 жыл бұрын
Love and appreciate this. Definitely have big Foundation and Bold regrets. The others minor ones. The Foundation regret drove me to be part of the Great Resignation to take a break and start my own thing, but pretty discouraged and on the cusp now if I don't take action on the Bold regrets it'll be even bigger regret (aka return to a regular job without really giving myself a chance to make a go on my own). Maybe this is the message I needed to hear. Thank you.
@balank1328 Жыл бұрын
I read this book last week . .it's an excellent book
@lotsofloveariya2 жыл бұрын
This video came at the perfect time - here I am living all four regrets 😂
@nafiseh212 Жыл бұрын
I feel as if you're a 90- year- old man
@dorothychasie69742 жыл бұрын
Out of curiosity, is regret similar to guilt? This going by me feeling like guilt is regret of things going or not going a certain other way.
@lovelysybarite30092 жыл бұрын
Love Daniel pinks voice
@eudaemonnn2 жыл бұрын
This is what I'm looking for!!, Thank you
@NelCooper2 жыл бұрын
Great important topic. Thanks for learning and sharing this information. 👍
@imjonlacey2 жыл бұрын
Super super good info
@fliegertyp83762 жыл бұрын
at one point he is saying it is not a good idea to just turn your regrets off (which makes totally sense as the magic happens once you reflect about your regrets and listen to what this reflection will tell you - which he is even mentioning as well) but at the end he's doing two things: 1) He is telling Lily what her positive outcome might be (but to help Lily it should be up to herself, she will be aware once she is ready) 2) he is literally telling her "so, next time you get a chance, speak up" ... which is 100% "okay here are your regrets, switch them off" and that is dangerous somehow. I liked the first part tho, it made me think about myself and it made me laugh
@vicman18002 жыл бұрын
Could you play "island in the sun"?
@jcberny2 жыл бұрын
The Weezer frontman has many talents
@guitpizzАй бұрын
An important thing Lily needs to find out is if she is the type to make comments to improve a process or something thstndoes not work or rather the type to clap at the boss's bad jokes to get along. in our societies and corporations, it takes 5 times more guts to bring in issues and solutions than to tell the boss he has a nice tie.
@FootyFooty2 жыл бұрын
I’m curious if there is a correlation of regret to gender and age.
@mycount642 жыл бұрын
Regrets are the embodiment of selfishness... something did not work out the way I wanted or the way I expected... and I cannot live with my decision. Me me me me Didn't he begin this piece with the statement that everyone has regrets. So, if we had done things differently and not regretted the things we now regret... we would regret a whole set of different things and life would be exactly the same. I believe the saying is... everywhere you go, there you are.
@iliiilli-12342 жыл бұрын
I want to ask people who watched this video Therefore the topic of this video is “ do not hesitate to talk about your regret and lf you have some concern about talking regret think what will happen after long years .. think carefully and talk !! “ Is it right ?? I think the total topic is Talking out my regret of my past is good to me so speak out and do not hesitate ..many people in the world have many regret *** i am studying english by watching TED If l have some error Would you tell me what it is ??
@maniacfox2 жыл бұрын
I regret the camera that keeps zooming in and out, it's doing my head in. Sorry I can't watch the rest of the video.
@Abell_lledA2 жыл бұрын
Narrative of Self is the result of a feedback loop between “Separate Self” & Cosmos 🎈
@jacque46977 ай бұрын
Not sure which type business regrets fall? e.g. I sold my house and now regret it. Or I didn't buy a stock or other asset and now regret it. Maybe a combination of boldness and foundational.
@davestambaugh72822 жыл бұрын
It would probably be a safe assumption that no one with a neurologically atypical brain was included in the survey. Only the neurologically typical brains or the ninety five percent. These type of self help things apply only to the majority.
@KafkaKappa2 жыл бұрын
Hello folks
@optimisticoscar47112 жыл бұрын
Good afternoon
@duong-66vl1oanh42 жыл бұрын
Hi
@Juka1612 жыл бұрын
Regrets are a Frontier with the future
@yourfriendnge2 жыл бұрын
This is super interesting!
@parmissghahremaniqajar3142 жыл бұрын
I loved his energy and his talk really was uplifting!
@i_am_a_freespirit2 жыл бұрын
I regret ever having had children!
@iampetrunin2 жыл бұрын
Lily’s voice is so charming 😍
@riccardogiralico3272 жыл бұрын
Supreme talk
@Sci-faction2 жыл бұрын
Cosmos,life and consciousness are quantum(Dirac),molecular(Dawkins) and memetic(Dennet) respectively
@dianadeane92332 жыл бұрын
I think Lily just DID speak up- joining you in this presentation. Maybe noticing she DID speak up and she connected with a billion people in doing so…
@marccollins96732 жыл бұрын
Love this!
@obaidyaljareh82572 жыл бұрын
Yes you are amazing
@blakebeaton84102 жыл бұрын
I wonder if there could be research on circumstances under which people do NOT regret these very same circumstances? Are there things that will cause us to forego regret for each of these categories? E.g., there was a huge fight so I don't regret the separation; there was a moral injustice so I don't regret a moral breach that I would otherwise have regretted. I'm also curious how regret was mad into a metric. Was it a Likert scale? How do I know if I have regret? I regret not regretting more.
@ashrafalam60752 жыл бұрын
Life is Finite. When you are in 30 + realise that some regrets about your life regarding all aspects of life but are Unrepairable. We are human and it continues till death. We are not Perfect neither Superficial otherwise we become Angels, it's not the desire of our Creator. We can try to reduce regrets but can't make it Zero. Their are unlimited faces of regrets. Bad Decision, Bad Relationship, Bad Behaviour sometimes makes life miserable for our life time regrets
@manubhatt32 жыл бұрын
Some regrets are valid and genuine but I think most regrets are just abusing the power of hindsight. One should not regret much, as by doing so, your present self is wrongfully trying to judge your past self by abusing the power of hindsight, and in the process makes you suffer. The biggest fake is the Boldness regret. I suppose bad consequences don't create long term regrets in people and I suppose this entails some kind of wishful thinking in the sense that being bold in the past wouldn't have any possibility of bad consequences or may be we just feel shielded by it, by the fact that we are in the future and so the 'bad consequences' don't really apply to us.
@manubhatt32 жыл бұрын
@Dell Wright The difference lies in abuse vs use
@mr.c24852 жыл бұрын
Regret coupled with imagination is a nightmare.
@kickywicky46162 жыл бұрын
When I had the speaking up quandary in a meeting, I would tell myself "They're not paying me to shut up".
@mr.c24852 жыл бұрын
Does any other life form/species experience regret? What does that tell us?
@razalime Жыл бұрын
Is “I regret not starting earlier” a foundational regret?
@billyjoejimbob752 жыл бұрын
So when 'someone' settles out of court but puts a little stipulation in the agreement that they don't admit any wrongdoing, which do they fall under? Brain damage or sociopath?
@Noname-rr5en2 жыл бұрын
Oh, i know this guy, he is from Weezer
@TennesseeJed2 жыл бұрын
I regret watching this video. ...just kidding, it was interesting.
@miguelg13702 жыл бұрын
Is that Bill Saget?
@user13rs2582 жыл бұрын
This man is explaining the concept of making "3 IDIOTS" movie 😅😂 but What i can see around me is no one really understood it yet or they don't want to because that don't think they met the requirements or something i don't know either 😅 but my guess is about someone will joke of me, what if nothing is there after it for me, i got no money, etc. all these excuses are still there but not the idea to overcome! please help me with this 🥺😓 I'm stuck in here like this I want to overcome too..
@moviescene65282 жыл бұрын
Very nice
@henrychang3402 жыл бұрын
I think one of the biggest regrets is not living and acting the way you actually want when you can.
@willahn49552 жыл бұрын
Nice vid
@JeremieBPCreation2 жыл бұрын
Googled it. "You write about four core categories of regret- foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets" From Time Sorry, I'm impatient.
@truss5082 жыл бұрын
Is it just me or does this guy with the glasses and dark hair look like a younger clone of Bob Saget?! There's no way I can be the only one that thinks that!
@youngthomasyorke40742 жыл бұрын
Rivers Cuomo doing Ted?
@ligiasommers2 жыл бұрын
Very helpful 🙏🏻❤️🩹✨
@alberteinstein71802 жыл бұрын
Thank you, sir. 2027, i will graduate Master and apply for PhD scholarship!
@chris.bradshaw2 жыл бұрын
Take your car to work, I’ll take my board
@iselamonterrosas57162 жыл бұрын
What do people regret more, saying something or not saying anything at all?
@greenbeancasserole66462 жыл бұрын
63,000 people are now waiting to hear back from Lily and if she spoke up at her next opportunity.
@Sci-faction2 жыл бұрын
Cosmos=quantum potential (Dirac)! Life=molecular one(Dawkins)! Consciousness=memetic one (Dennet)!
@Azolan692 жыл бұрын
« Regret is an essential component of happiness » - Choderlos de Laclos (Dangerous Liaisons)
@jimmythefish2 жыл бұрын
Regretting writing Beverly Hills.
@Ramenedish2 жыл бұрын
the guy from weezer teaching regret
@CallAmburlamps2 жыл бұрын
clicked because i thought bob saget was in the thumbnail
@moviescene65282 жыл бұрын
I'm regret for missing opportunity I'm regret for don't speak I'm regret my all past 😪
@GiovanniGirelli11042 жыл бұрын
This dude looks like Rivers Cuomo. Really good talk.
@itsyaboyskinnnypimp420692 жыл бұрын
I got all 5
@BennyCadillac2 жыл бұрын
Congrats! You’re totally going to be a ghost 👻
@harrypearle97812 жыл бұрын
DISABILITY ADMISSION (Boldness) Regrets? We can admit that just was we have abilities, we have disabilities, too. Why not admit to some disabilities, such as verbal or analytical disabilities. Perhaps we can see how PUTIN and TRUMP have EMOTIONAL and LOGICAL disabilities.. thanks!
@harrypearle97812 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much, Dan. I am reading the book, now. I would add something about disabilities and weakness ADMISSION regreats