4 Reasons Why Dating is So Hard (and how you can fix it)

It’s not just you. Everyone’s confused, frustrated, and about to lose hope. Here are the 4 reasons why dating has become so hard (and what you can do about it).
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[@silvermine2033]

This is very true. I'm 38, and remember dating being completely different 10-15 years ago. It was a lot "easier" and a lot more fun!

[@SusanWinter]

Many things have certainly changed and it’s a lot harder to navigate these waters!

[@TheGabrielberki]

Keep it simple, if you like someone ask them out. If they say anything other than, "Hell Yes, I'd love to" don't take it personal, move on and find someone else. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and time. It is truly their loss and someone else's huge gain. You did the work, you deserve someone who sees that being with you is a privilege.

[@verticalbay]

Some people are good when they’re being asked out and people will go on dates with you but for various reasons. They could either be also attracted to you and sees a potential relationship with you; but they could also be bored, or looking for someone open to polyamory, or rebound, or they just like the honeymoon phase but don’t actually know if they’re ready for a serious relationship.

[@stacybrown7014]

Does a single date require an explanation not to continue?

[@SusanWinter]

Lovett Gabriele

[@Babesinthewood97]

@@stacybrown7014 I think no. Absolutely not.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Exactly a privilege. Carry yourself well. With class and dignity.

[@nexusSix_237]

Communication and being upfront is my favorite thing to do. I love laying out all the rules and expectations in the beginning and going over them every so often. I don't want to leave any wiggle room for misunderstandings that could potentially derail a relationship that I really want to be successful

[@SusanWinter]

Yay! Good for you

[@stacybrown7014]

I actually had this thought recently., having communication upfront.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree. Radical honesty. Transparency. Ask polygraph questions. Are their words and actions aligned?

[@zene.p]

do you think it's a good idea to actually share a document of "rules of engagement" if the other person is receptive?

[@nexusSix_237]

@F P hummm. I'd say it's few and far between meeting anyone who wouldn't take that in a very cold and business like manner. I'm not sure that would make a very good impression 🤔. But if you know someone already who would benefit from such a "form" ... why not then.

[@patty8945]

I say it's not hard. Have no expectations and have fun, no matter who you go out with. Do not take personally things people do, or say; their shortcomings. Men just like women want to have a genuine connection. Weed them out from the very beginning. There are genuine and kind people out there. Don't expect people to be perfect, nobody is. Have fun and trust the Universe will send the right one for you. Good Luck!

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you for watching and these observant words!

[@MikeJackson690]

Hit so many nails on the head. I'm 35 and I've never found it so tough for something on a serious level. Casual seems to be so easy, and I've had some great, transparent fun, but if you want something more, it's rarer than ever.

[@meganwhalley1387]

exactly!! It seems like people want a night or two of fun and then they’re onto the next, whatever happened to wanting something real?

[@SusanWinter]

@@meganwhalley1387 😊

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Mike. Love your share.

[@MikeJackson690]

@@meganwhalley1387 Those people must be out there, I mean, Susan has a community for a reason 😌 I've also never known this apparent need to ask for 'exclusivity'. That simply never happened at the start of my two long-term relationships. Perhaps I was naive to assume they weren't seeing anyone else in the early stages? Certain they weren't, and I wasn't. Times really have changed since 2014. Just got to have hope for 'right place, right time', but it's fading.

[@fatcatontario]

Wonderful advice as always! I would also add "normalization of sex work and porn" to this list. I have been encountering quite a few men lately who openly admit to using escorts and sugar babies and insist on talking to me like I am one. They say how they want a woman to dress, how her body should look (what surgeries she should have had), how she should behave in bed....when I hear that, I knock them down into reality and I AM NOT NICE about it.

[@RR-us1lt]

What idiots. There's absolutely no benefit to even dating those men. They would just exert their resentment on you and the entire "relationship " would be spent appeasing someone who can't escape their porn idolatry. I would avoid them for the same reasons I'd avoid a drug addict.

[@antilaw9911]

That is sad. What kind of men are these that you are choosing to meet? Porn etc? These type men see you as a sex object mate. They love for the sex. You put weight on get fat, they leave you very quick. That's shallow.

[@SimbaAliaye]

Wow! That’s horrible!

[@Tupemo]

oh wow where do you live or meet these men? Sounds like LA, these people dont live in reality.

[@Crgb777]

Wow, those men are creeps. Avert, avert!

[@sherriflemming3218]

True gentlemen are rare these days. Judge peoples character not their words.

[@allegedlyandfacts]

They don’t exist anymore unfortunately

[@acd1168]

Yes! Filter is a perfect word.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you!

[@biondna7984]

Thanks for this. I'm learning to ask people what they mean. For instance, "I'm up for anything" usually means "... except monogamy."

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree. I'm open to anything and am looking for fun excitement and a "good time" Fine if you want this however if you want more than that you don't date for fun.

[@emilexx]

You look so beautiful Susan. 😍 a compliment from another woman coach!

[@SusanWinter]

Starfish speed, thank you thank you thank you. That means a lot to me and I really appreciate your support on this channel.

[@datingdiaries1681]

It shouldn't be hard ! Susan you are always a breathe of fresh air !

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you dating diaries!

[@meganwhalley1387]

Susan, you have been helping me for years and you help me not feel so alone and in my own head. You genuinely have such a great aura and everytime you post it makes my day. I’m going through a tough ghosting situation with a guy who was head over heels to me to nothing, avoiding me, treating me like I don’t have feelings or don’t exist and it’s been so hard and hurtful, but your videos have helped me so much. I’d love to have a session with you someday. Thank you for all you do to help others❤

[@SusanWinter]

Megan, thank you for your wonderful commentary. I’m really happy that my videos have been of assistance. You sound like you are solid in your perspective and well equipped to be a terrific partner. 😊

[@Reilly5]

I was thinking today that maybe ghosting and indirect communication is tied to the younger generation having helicopter or "Karen" parents. So, whenever we were younger, we learned that direct communication was punished with harsh reactions, or the parents sheltered us from conflict so we never learned how to cope with difficult conversations. All of this has been made worse with our modern indirect communication methods where people can hide themselves.

[@SusanWinter]

I think the two can possibly have a link. I’m not sure that’s often the case but interesting observation

[@alessaxn]

I sat KZbin notifications on. The highlight of my week is when you post a new video!! Watching your videos is like chatting with a friend who gets you💕

[@SusanWinter]

Wow Alessa! Thank you. I really appreciate that. I love that you have your notification button on. I hope every time it goes off you get a smile on your face!

[@alessaxn]

​@@SusanWinter ❤❤

[@sherriflemming3218]

@@SusanWinter Agree Susan. Jonathan Aslay and yourself are my favorites. Both of you total get it! ❤️❤️❤️🇨🇦

[@jonathan6480]

As a single guy at 27, this gives me more clarity on why the dating market is a cluster f. Thanks!

[@SusanWinter]

I'm happy to read your comment. Thank you so much.

[@lolachlih3136]

It should never be this hard dating,dating is definitely isn't what it once was times sure has changed and seen alot in dating at 46 what ever happened to communication and working out issues as a couple rather then flying off the handle or the blame game that happens today in dating im all about communication and honesty now yes there are alot of that ghosting or just cowards. Thank you Susan!

[@flowerpower4944]

Yes Susan I agree with your video Filter filter ,and keep your core values in tact, 💖💖💖🙏

[@SusanWinter]

Flower power, thank you for your input on the “filter, filter, filter.” It seems to me that if we kept the nonsense away from the beginning, we would have an easier time of meeting success.

[@JonathonAslay]

Hey Susan, I loved this video because it is spot on... well said.

[@Malefica_Sibylla]

How hypocritical those who are "trying to be nice" but actually doing the exact opposite thing

[@SusanWinter]

Intentions are important and consideration is essential

[@Sparksflymich]

I APRECIATE YOU, SUSAN!

[@luketaylor956]

Hey, Susan! Thank you so much for this video today. Funny enough... this has been on my mind recently and loved the positive veiws you have on this topic. Thank you 💯🦁

[@SusanWinter]

Luke, thanks for your commentary. And I love the fact that we are all in sync and these topics are resonating with everyone. I love the synchronicity that shows up each week when I hear that somebody has been thinking about the exact topic that has just been posted.

[@andriyt23]

Thank you! Chatting and texting as "communication" are really stupid things.

[@lillianguajardo1155]

Good advice , & points Susan . Thank you !

[@SusanWinter]

Lillian, you are welcome

[@denbysk8]

Love your videos Susan you helped me through my breakup with my ex partner massively back in 2020. Thank you for your work all the best sean from the uk

[@MiiSsMiiNa]

Susan, you are a gem of a person! Before, during and now after my relationship, I just learned so so much about love, life and relationships of all sorts.

[@SusanWinter]

😊😊😊😊 !

[@fetishisticrose]

Beautiful color on you. Thank you for sharing on this topic❤

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you! 🤗

[@LuisArias-ui5dw]

Great advice Susan lookin lovely as always keep up the great content 🌹

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you! Will do! Luis, much appreciated. 😊

[@ScottH7651]

Your last point is talked about in Attached, called Effective Communication. Tell them what you're looking for and if it's not what they want, move on to someone else who is and you don't waste time. Good discussion Susan. Thanks!

[@Josephcmiro731]

It’s super rough out there. I agree that we can start with ourselves. Sometimes being candid with someone whose not picking up signs that you aren’t interested can be trying. Especially if you like the person but not romantically. Either way, the dating game makes me feel dirty.

[@user-dk1qz9ev8l]

Some people said yeah right you can't tell them they're wrong

[@jessicahitchens6926]

I'd recommend watching the Mouse Utopia experiment in the 60s/70s. It actually has a lot to do with the "new dating scene".. Brave New World comes to my mind as well.

[@lisak663]

we grow up in the US with no real education on communication, feelings, etc

[@markusbarth-gx1zo]

you are soooo right

[@SusanWinter]

❤❤❤

[@beritmason8567]

thanks for throwing in some sociology because it explains a whole lot. people and their behavior is on a downward slide and we all hurt for it. women becoming men and vice-versa has not helped. I got so burned trying to act like a man in romance and I lost my life to that silliness.

[@antilaw9911]

Susan I love watching your videos. I'm the guy from Roseville, part of st Paul. Remember my ex of 7+ years left me and got married.. they bought house etc. Well this stuff is true. She regrets it and wants me back. Confessed she made mistake and is miserable. We lived in Blaine. We met a couple times and she came over and we walked came back to my place and ate and kissed. No sex though. I can't be with her and lost attraction for her. Also, this time I have been dating and run into all the problems these videos are about. I'm just turned 59. Very sad the entitlement and on women they have options. I don't like being played. When you been jacked around so much it's very easy to read their behavior. Lies.

[@SusanWinter]

Anti-law! Haven’t seen your name here for a while and I really appreciate your comment. Thanks for catching up with me and letting us all know what’s been happening over the last few years. Ha, so karma came back to smack your ex! And isn’t it funny how now it doesn’t really matter to you one way or the other… because you have healed and moved on. Congrats for all the work that you’ve done on yourself and where you are today.❤❤

[@antilaw9911]

Thanks for remembering me. I go to sleep listening to you a lot. Duane

[@sherriflemming3218]

With exes when they return. Have they changed? Karma always has an address.

[@Sarafara7]

Hi Susan, can you please do a video on when is the right time to meet in a long distance relationship? The men that I am interested in all happen to live out of state - that’s just been my luck. I never know when to move forward and suggest to meet in person or when the appropriate time to discuss that is. I would love your thoughts on this. Thank you! 🙏🏼

[@sherriflemming3218]

Please see Jonathan Aslays podcasts on Long Distance Dating and relationships.

[@Sarafara7]

@@sherriflemming3218 will do! Thank you for sharing :)

[@sherriflemming3218]

@@Sarafara7 You're welcome.

[@user-dk1qz9ev8l]

Greetings by Jessica enjoy but not easy

[@MrakdNadvladar]

Im a 44yr old man and the last date I was on was in 2004 . so it's obviously been a min. but it sounds pretty bat shit crazy out there. might just wait another decade maybe the social dynamics will have changed for the better. I liked the alternate 1985 timeline much better. thanks for the insights.

[@user-dk1qz9ev8l]

Yes your video is very good this is a great video this is all true but what can you do people won't change their habits give me some good people in this world how do you find pretty Girl

[@dmalina3]

I remember ( i'm 50 now) back then in my early 20ties, after 2-3 dates boy used to ask "do you want to date me, like exclusive" and that was it. Everything clean and simple. I was always surprised when saw in movies situations" we need to see other people ", how many people do they date, and why 😂 In my 30ties started ghosthing "culture" and now... It's jungle.

[@stacybrown7014]

Does a single date require a conversation with the person why you are not interested?

[@toscadonna]

No, but you can text them and say, “Thanks for taking me out. I’ve thought about it, and I don’t feel we’re a match. Good luck with your search.” Then block and delete.

[@SusanWinter]

No. Not necessarily - but if they asked to see you again at the end of the first date or they send you a text trying to secure a second date, it’s best to tell them that you don’t feel the connection and thank them for their time.

[@stacybrown7014]

@@SusanWinter Thanks Susan

[@fatcatontario]

I think any interaction should be respectful. I would be up front unless I get a sense that a person will go off on me and then I just block.

[@LisaGemini]

As usual, great advice, Susan! Have you done any videos about finding guys who can play at my level and/ or emotionally mature? That’s the sticking point for me…along with most singles being poor communicators.

[@desertrose111]

Sometimes I wish there is a time machine that brings me to medieval times when people would cross a mountain to see someone and a society far more gentlemen and well mannered old fashioned, none of these labels of justifications on nonsense for people who are incapable of loving others because of their own unhealed traumas. None of the manipulation and tactics from overinformation times we are living in. There was blessings in some ignorance before internet.

[@lyndamcmullen5506]

❤❤❤

[@SusanWinter]

Love you, Lynda!

[@user-dk1qz9ev8l]

Dating really sucks it's not easy at all no matter what you say 6:53

[@adventurestoothercountrys6524]

خلاص اتفقنا زواج

[@mexxab1596]

I felt in LOVE. Susan you are so attractive and so Gorgeous!!

[@mmfuru]

@LittleBlackBook91 Kojo she speaks your language

[@cansucapkinci485]

Just on point!🤌🤌🤌👌