5 Reasons to STOP being the Doormat Girl

[@joanofarcxxi]

Yes indeed. I have observed along my life's journey that many men actually like bitchy women even though they complain about them. But there is an art to being a bitch. Also, if you act like a proper bitch with men who are narcissistic, it's not going to work, but you don't want it to anyway, because you don't want a narcissist. "Why Men Love Bitches" - a great book, I recommend. The same author also has another book called "Why Men Marry Bitches". Also listen to a song by Mariana and The Diamonds called "How to be a heartbreaker", it's a simple way to remember what men actually prefer. A man is not a plan, and a romantic relationship is not all there is to life. Never chase a man, if he pulls back, don't follow. Don't give a man husband privileges if he is not your husband. Have your own plan and take care of you. Decentralize men and get them off the pedestal. This lady gives very good advice. She deserves many more views.

[@Ruzina]

Thank you for this message & the book recommendation ❤️ 🙌 I will check it out

[@kainatayub2346]

@@Ruzina God Bless You...❤❤❤

[@rachelbailey-no2pp]

​@@Ruzinaa bitch also loves it when her date insists on paying for the meal on a first date. As independent as we are we still want to be romanced.

[@tuckerlynne]

AMEN!

[@tuckerlynne]

I have recommended that book to so many...🎉

[@brendacook6576]

I’ve been married for almost 55 years. We married just 8 months after meeting. Early in our courtship, he stormed out the door, only to call me from the corner gas station. I was already madly in love with him, but if he hadn’t called, that would have been the end of it. For our 50th anniversary, I wrote and framed a poem named “The Dime,” referring to the dime he dropped to make that call. I am still madly in love, and God has blessed us with two devoted children and four precious grandchildren.

[@Ruzina]

Love this ❤️ thank you for sharing

[@MaryElizabeth-g1b]

What's your greatest advice to us who is in a relationship ?😊

[@victoriarose7111]

A strong woman has boundaries and real men respect that

[@Ruzina]

yes 💯

[@ayushitewari5576]

I have boundaries with the one I don’t love 😅

[@JigmeWangmo-i2b]

​@@ayushitewari5576true 💯

[@christineribone9351]

Some guys like to break those boundaries, they try to break the woman down.

[@InstavidDocs]

1. **Self-Respect**: Constantly pleasing others erodes your self-worth. 2. **Emotional Drain**: People-pleasing leaves you exhausted and unappreciated. 3. **Lack of Reciprocity**: Those who take advantage rarely give back. 4. **Invisible Boundaries**: You teach others how to treat you. 5. **Missed Opportunities**: Prioritize yourself and attract genuine relationships.

[@donnaatienza8001]

yes I feel your right about this. been there and done this.

[@InstavidDocs]

@@donnaatienza8001 Love from heart

[@user-vd5vu8lx3d]

Instead of bitch it could be secure attached!

[@maggytravels0]

Chat gpt

[@mridusmitasurvives]

Yes I got the answer today. Men cannot digest ladies with high values.

[@lisaward8024]

Men get all huffy when a woman won’t give up her life for them, but then they always boomerang back! You’re right, they do respect you in the long run if you do what’s best for you and not bend to them.

[@Ruzina]

Yes 🙌

[@christineribone9351]

Guys get huffy if a woman doesn't give up her life for him, while they would never do the same for her.

[@EdelweisSusie]

I’ve never worked out why men keep abandoning me. I’m kind, affectionate, honest, quite funny, very open and respect my man etc but after a few years happily together they just leave me for no reason (no-one else involved) yet my girl friends row with their husbands IN PUBLIC and in front of his friends (!), treat them like sh*t, have absolutely NO respect for them, talk trash about them to their friends and rarely have s*x with them (some not for years!) yet they’ve ALL been married for 30+ years and their husbands think the sun shines out of their arse!!!! Explain that to me.

[@SibyllaCumana]

Same. I guess we appear 'boring' because they take us for granted. That's why now I decided not to lower my standards, meaning not compromising anymore: I was the only one doing so. I didn't date for looks, wealth or status but at the end I now realise I ended up with losers. I am sorry to use that word because I honestly believed everyone was essentially good but unfortunately it reflects reality and my poor self esteem. Not anymore

[@CoralBalmoral]

@EdelweisSusie good question, surely

[@MyAngelAlfie]

Hell yeah I need to understand this, just...why? Surely this is a reflection on the man though? They must be insecure/ ego issues or something?!

[@Elliecham]

@@MyAngelAlfie Definitely insecure and low self-esteem. If the men themselves had any standards, they wouldn't put up with that behavior.

[@Jan-f8w]

​@@Elliechamexactly right. The men just want the APPEARANCE of a stable relationship. That's more than enough for them because they have no idea how to be in a healthy relationship.

[@tobe-you-tube6612]

If he doesn't respect you, it has nothing you can do about it. You can't change his lack of consideration for you. Respect is about education. If you ever happen to see any sign of disrespect, even if it's just from time to time, leave as soon as you can. It's not your problem. Respect is not a game. You become a doormat if you allow people to walk over your head repeatedly. Don't be here when he comes back.

[@shaylasanchez100]

My first husband died and my son went to his house to get some of his things. He asked me, do you want something to remember Dad by? I said yes please bring me something. When he got home he had something behind his back and he was trying hard not to laugh. He said Uncle John is not sure you are going to like this, but…Then he handed me a book-Why Do Men Love Bitches? I busted up laughing. It was sooo meant for me. I still have it. 😊

[@Ruzina]

Thank you for sharing this ❤️ 🙌

[@everythingaboutherwords]

I’m currently reading the book. Hahahaha I’ve been wanting to read this for ages but my boyfriend doesn’t allow me.

[@frayansertzrave]

Thank you for this. 💖 I remember the book, "Why Men Love B-tches". It totally helped me to grow more at 25 and be wise in the man I have to wait.

[@saraheagles4598]

You say men like women who control their emotions; but i swear men actually love the drama 🙄 riddle me that

[@andreatorluemke4982]

The man who is for you will stay. The ones not for you will go. It’s ok to be kind and nurturing. Just have boundaries around your time and energy at first. After they get the signal that you like them and it’s after the 3rd date. Most relationship advice is for after the 3rd date I would say. I wish dating videos would state this. Before dating. While dating and after dating for awhile so you know the context that the advice is for

[@andreatorluemke4982]

Easy to be with. Hard to get into a room with. Tho

[@celeste3100]

Because they see the drama as crazy seggs in the bed. That’s why most men stay in toxic relationships. The seggs is good.

[@donnaatienza8001]

yes I believe they do

[@mandymasters6610]

True that!

[@sb853547]

Thankyou souch for making these videos. I can't tell you how much these videos are healing.

[@Ruzina]

I'm so glad you find it helpful ❤️ 🙌

[@HaleyHayes-q1z]

Truly knowing your worth as a person and standing up for yourself often gets you confused for a b*tch.

[@Ruzina]

💯

[@tamjeeda4220]

Wow..her words are so clear cut & precise without sounding monotonous.. Thanks for respecting our time baeb 😘

[@Ruzina]

Thank for this messege ❤️

[@tamjeeda4220]

@Ruzina Most welcome Ruzina 😊❤️ Doing a great job 👍 keep it up

[@lisytrinh5231]

Luv it everytime u say “A bitch”…it makes me laugh every time but I definitely AGREE with u 100%…thank u for the info, it was very helpful! 👍🏼

[@Ruzina]

😊 thank you for watching

[@janetfrancis55]

Thank you for educating women!

[@Ruzina]

🙌

[@capricornsoul7227]

Thank you very much. I can relate 100%. I took a voluntary retrenchment in 2020 and called my ex for a job. We started to get involved again. I am financially dependent on him but refuse to accept hus abuse. I don't work for him, but he supports me financially. It has been an upward battle. He tries to run me down and tells me that I will be on the street not too long from now. I remove myself when I have to. He drinks incessantly and abuses me. I have been trying to find work and revive my business, but it has been very difficult. We are still together. However, I refuse to be abused by him. I speak my mind daily. He tries to fear the manipulation tactic, but I will not serum to his abuse. I ask myself when things are stable for me financially, I will not be with him by force. I have learned the biggest lesson of my life. Not a good place to be!

[@ZFern9390]

Are you dependent on him financially because you have a few young kids with him?

[@larahuffmaster5857]

You need Al-Anon

[@JoyousOne10]

I don’t understand why everyone expects women to be the ones to cater to what’s basically male narcissism. Why do I have to bend myself into a pretzel to play the man’s game? The answer is I don’t have to. If I play this push and pull game to meet a man’s needs I end up letting go of my values. What if I value people who don’t play games. The older I get the more I understand that it’s a lie I’ve been told my whole life that women are the game players. Men play games just as much if not more.

[@tess7798]

Men also have to bend themselves into a pretzel and go through a lot of hoops in order to attract women. It works both ways. And if you want a relationship, whether you are male or female, you’ll do what it takes.

[@galiandmagic]

I must agree with everything you mentioned. Great video and lovely accent. Thank you.

[@Ruzina]

Thank you for watching 🙌 😊

[@Jasmina-Marseille]

Absence. Exactly. I am very polite but cold, distant, but sometimes very hot. I triangulate my energy to gaslight their mental sanity. It works every time xxx

[@GoldChocobo77]

You're proud to use narcissist technic? That doesn't make you a strong woman, just makes you toxic.

[@Shalini7448]

​@@GoldChocobo77ldko ko yahi pasand aati h😅😅

[@gabrielamartiniuc6322]

A man referred to me as edgy the other day. I def took it as a compliment! ❤

[@Ruzina]

love it 😀 ❤️

[@skincarerainbow]

What's that?

[@PrettyMamaPatchwork]

This didn't work for me in my marriage to a man with addictions. I was there for him but he kept taking advantage of me knowing he didn't have to get better because I would never leave him. That became so frustrating that I decided to not be so available to him. I said if he truly loved me he would get his life together for me and our son, but he only sunk deeper into his demons. A broken man from a bad relationship with his father I thought would get better after our marriage. I learned the hard way you cannot fix someone who doesn't have the desire to get well. He died in Rehab at 51. That was 18 yrs ago. I have never remarried because that horrible experience drained everything I had in me to give to another man.

[@Ruzina]

Thank you for sharing this 🙏 you have made some valid points and and are absolutely right that it's almost impossible to change someone if that desire for change is not coming from oneself. It can be really hard when addictions to substance are involved and changes the dynamic for everything. Thank you again for sharing your story and I wish you the very best in your journey 🙌 ❤️

[@shivanidubey888]

Really glad I stumbled upon your video! Guess I needed to hear this. Thankyou. This was helpful

[@Ruzina]

Glad it was helpful ❤️

[@weekendnomad5038]

They say when you stress a man out it triggers his BONDING hormones ❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂

[@Ruzina]

Interesting! 🤔 😊

[@larahuffmaster5857]

​​@@Ruzinavasopressin

[@TheVioletCarousel]

Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. She also wrote Why Men Marry Bitches. Good Reads!

[@Ruzina]

Yes I recently purchased the 2nd book 🙌😊

[@TheVioletCarousel]

@@Ruzina Its so sad we're not taught this growing up, but I suppose our mentors come from many places. Thank you for spreading this sage advice and inspiring others!!! 💖

[@xochiltpfohl930]

Thank you about the doormat My husband has a son he say he is first the kid start to disrespect me I can’t deal w that I am my own person who needs respect

[@katemoffitt1641]

I’m not a bitch. I bring my loving self to a relationship BUT I put almost nothing into it. I value & love myself. I don’t fall for anyone either. Will NOT give up my emotions. They can fall 4 me. I can be “the one” now Not the other way round I’ve been down that road & it doesn’t work I’m super supportive of what they are going thru. Super loving & kind. I will NEVER be a bitch for any reason. NOPE! to be a bitch would make me a horrible person. not going to do it.

[@abhaupadhyay2938]

𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗹❤

[@bumblebee_ms]

Your advice is amazing, I wish I knew all of this in my youth.

[@Ruzina]

So do I! 😫

[@bumblebee_ms]

@@Ruzina Indeed!

[@dianamahan7061]

Love yourself kindly, respect yourself, stick to your convictions, know your mind, learn how to laugh at yourself, show some compassion, and learn that if you can't accept the other person for who they are instead of who you think you can make them to be. I highly recommend just being yourself, take it slow. Otherwise you just end up getting yourself in a set up😢❤. Fake gonna end up being a disappointment. You want it to last? Just be yourself.

[@amyanonymous3698]

I totally agree with you 💯❕

[@joancramer3675]

I’m older and dating 1 year. Been on back burner as you say, experienced I’m not. But learning. Very attached but pulling away. So glad to see this today. Growing is continual in life & crucial in every aspect of life in all relationships including family, friends or dating. Thanks so much.😊

[@Ruzina]

❤️ 🙌

[@at1na80]

Amen sister ❤Great video❤️ I just removed a man who didn't want to commit, he only wanted casual sex. So we will se if me pulling away from him makes him want me more❤To add I am focusing more on myself, spending time with my friends and family, doing things that I love❤❤❤

[@Ruzina]

I wish you the best on this new journey 💪 🙌 ❤️

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Good for you-putting yourself first and prioritizing what you deserve is always the best move.

[@at1na80]

@@Ruzina thank you ❤️❤️💫

[@Ruzina]

@@SaveTheMessenger 💯

[@amyanonymous3698]

I totally agree with you 💯.!!!

[@CrissySalas]

THANK YOU SO MUCH IM VERY GREATFUL FOR YOUR ADVICE AND VOICE WE NEED THIS AMEN YES 💪❤ THANK YOU

[@Ruzina]

❤️ 🙌

[@LashundaMenefield]

I love this video!! And so needed.❤

[@Ruzina]

❤️

[@bellas2476]

Love ve ypur analysis! Good advise.

[@Ruzina]

🙌

[@ragallylou]

My partner said last night that I am living in my own bubble, going to therapy, going out with friends and going to a pottery studio like it is negative thing?

[@destroyraiden]

well to him it is you aren't being he-centered. just keep doing what you're doing.

[@Pinkpanda811]

Stay there and never leave your bubble 🫧 you're doing it correctly!

[@megang7738]

​@@Pinkpanda811don't compromise.

[@dorotawoyn6053]

It was a compliement for you ❤😊

[@victoriarose7111]

I appreciate a strong man so it makes sense men feel like that towards a female

[@crystalnyla]

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 healing again 😢 I will bounce back 👑 Damn these NPD men 😮‍💨

[@helenamarhounova1120]

Girl i love you and hope your Chanel will grow fast and quick

[@Ruzina]

🙏 thats so kind & supportive for you say Thank you 😊

[@sarahm3240]

I so wanna be a bitch (in a good way, the way you have clearly explained) but, when I try to be a “B” I only stay in that for a day or two max. And back into my caring and nurturing self. And putting myself after everything. Would love to hear how to stay in that zone of being a “B”. 😊 thanks

[@aisyahzulzurin6357]

You’re so pretty❤

[@Ruzina]

🙌 ❤️

[@janetlane4555]

I would never do drama...when you trow a tantrum you've lost..

[@mi8345]

I believe playing games is for children. Emotionally mature women with a secure attachment style do not need this. If you need this, you should work on yourself first. Then you will be able to find a man that is also securely attached and you don't have to trick around and can just be your beautiful authentic self.

[@orsolyak]

If you are a healthy woman mentally so you have respect for yourself no self confidence issues You don't do any of these. Period.

[@heavenlyq3441]

What if you're married and he doesn't let you go out with friends or be independent.

[@gluckskeks2593]

Bad boys ending with bad woman. Bad woman ending with bad boys. Good woman ending with good man, because both learned their lessons. ❤ Bad man and bad woman will regret losing good partners. That's the way it is.

[@hanahadgo1924]

Yes beautiful exactly true ❤😘🌻

[@Ruzina]

🙌 ❤️

[@palo7079]

Absolutely 💯.

[@ishararajaram4613]

Well said ,that's me 💯 ,very informative 👏 👍

[@sandrapersaud5239]

I agreed with everything..I love it ❤️💯

[@Ruzina]

❤️ 🙌

[@zoebroadbent3009]

😢 he used me and I am a bitch at the end of our relationshit so I said U don't talk to like that,he never bought me anything in the last few yrs, I found he was a narcissist and this bad bitch ain't taking that!! When I spoke out and said no more,he left

[@weekendnomad5038]

I believe this. I love my husband to death but I act like I’m owed his time, attention, priority, monies 😂😂😂😂 and I was always no nonsense . Act like you’ll walk away if he screws up. If hes not doing the things I pull away my niceness . I was a stepford wife in my first marriage and he cheated a lot

[@Lizapendleton]

How does this translate to messaging in a new relationship?

[@justathought274]

I agree with not being a doormat or losing oneself. A “bitch?” I’m not sure that’s the word. Having self esteem, self worth and confidence is not being a bitch. Being a bitch is negative: it’s about being nasty and cruel. Who wants a “man” who wants to be with someone who is horrible? What woman wants a “bitch” for a friend …

[@trinityp8575]

The word “bitch” is used figuratively here. It means all those things you describe - a woman who loves herself and knows her worth.

[@fruzsinavalo2044]

Amazing. Thank you. You are a gem 💎 Ruzina ❤️🥰

[@Ruzina]

Thank you for watching ❤️ 🙌

[@karendina1284]

Depend what kind of man are you looking for

[@miriamshelby3539]

Very interesting content , I just found you and I'm in love with your content already ❤

[@Ruzina]

🙌 ❤️

[@Porshewithnobrakes]

It didn’t work for me with my narcissistic ex… It only applies to healthy, masculine man.

[@JulieRosa-jn2ot]

This is me, I'm an alpha woman. Alpha men loved us, however, insecure men and women hate us & our confidence. Bc if I have something to say, I'll say it. & if I want something, I don't beat around the bush, I will ask U straight out. Alpha men although shocked at first, love us. Bc we're straight shooters & what U see, is what U get

[@SNEHA_HC]

Thank u so much❤..Just amazing

[@Ruzina]

Glad you liked it! ❤️

[@0906blue]

I had a man tell me to get a job so he could spend his money on his underachieving children who were my age. I left. No !

[@christineribone9351]

Men are very dramatic. They seek your reaction.

[@saimatajers8853]

WELL DESCRIBED! AGREED!!!!!!!

[@Ruzina]

🙌 ❤️

[@Vera11111000]

Love it! Well done! Liked & Subscribed xxx

[@Ruzina]

Thank you subscribing ❤️ xx

[@Vera11111000]

@@Ruzina❤

[@Tolueneshair]

I love the way you broke it down. Please I am yet to see the name of the book and the author so I can buy it. Weldone and Thank you

[@Ruzina]

Hello! The book is called Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. It’s a great book about dating & relationship & I hope you can find it 🙌

[@forthe_loveoflens]

Thankyou beautiful woman💎😍

[@Ruzina]

Thank you for watching ❤️ 🙌

[@sasa6583]

Does this apply to the unattractive woman? Meh. Probably not, lol. Y’all be safe out there.

[@helenamarhounova1120]

wow, great video I need to hear that, really thank you

[@Ruzina]

Glad it was helpful! ❤️

[@mariadefatimasantoscordeir5681]

I’m sorry, but your opinions do not apply to every situation. I’ve been , all my life, that ideal woman you describe and it did not function at all with my husband. It just made him more dependent on my autonomy. He didn’t loved me more, or agreed we me more, or was more interested husband and father. He lived in my house, he was there using my efforts and my money to have a better life, not giving anything in return, except psychological and physical violence. Man, nowadays, are becoming users, consumers, they just want to receive and have nothing to give in return. Again, I’m sorry… your perspective does not fit the actual pattern.

[@trinityp8575]

Why did you let him live in your house and use your finances etc? A “bitch” woman wouldn’t allow that and would ask him to move out. She wouldn’t tolerate such behaviour or a man. He probably would have changed if you did this and he saw that this kind of behaviour won’t work with you…

[@MsPerfume25]

Good video the question is how to follow through with this in REALLL LIFE SITUATIONS I GET DESPERATE

[@kenrowland7864]

Well this man sure cant stand em!!!👎

[@LOVETHYSELFDAILY]

Keep up the good work!

[@ritaceron7329]

Power to Jesus Christ Amen 🙏🏽

[@LiseDoucet]

New Subscriber here, you've described me 💯 % I use to be a doormat, I am now stronger by the second and loving it! My experiences in life made me who i am today and I thank God 🙏💛

[@yesyoga]

Awesome! I forwarded to friends! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💋

[@Ruzina]

🙌 ❤️ thank you!

[@vanda3393]

True we get nothing in return

[@ruthdoyle8965]

Real daily & life good living, is mature, calm steady, doing & thinking. When meeting someone, the more in tempo we are to Real godd living life frequency, including mature, equal communications. Thats why its so victorioys, to marriage, as its Real luving life tempo. Both with own lives, & space for their new life together, seamless, calm, familiar with tempo.

[@nickyt3781]

I used to be a super Beyotch I've calmed down alot and he still loves me ..they all did 😂

[@SuzieKay-k4k]

Thank you so much. You are so helpful

[@Ruzina]

Glad you found it helpful ❤️ 🙌

[@ritaceron7329]

Work hard & pay his bills 💸 jajaja

[@palmirareisrocha]

Very good.

[@joansheekey476]

I have begged text never stoped in a year off him wanting me two go I did chase and it dident work he’s gone. And as yu said a bitch well I wasent one wish I was then I’d be still with him

[@ZFern9390]

?

[@xochiltpfohl930]

He didn’t love you that’s all

[@anacarolinabazandecarvalho8313]

You are amazing 😊😊😊

[@Ruzina]

❤️ 🙌

[@swaflyr1]

❤Thank you❤

[@Ruzina]

You are so welcome ❤️

[@Cookie-oz9wx]

I like the way you say Bitch.

[@Ruzina]

😄☺️

[@hanahadgo1924]

metoo 😂😂😂😂

[@ritaceron7329]

Future generations now u can keep him underneath ur Seeker Lol 😂

[@Drew-o9y]

Hey everybody. Not sure why this was recommended to be but I feel like an infiltrator lol. I disagree with points 1-3 but agree with 4-6. Luckily I kept watching the video! Lol let's all work on being healthier... Congrats on surviving the worst days.

[@julrosedals455]

men love woman if woman have own income so that men dont put you down this is my experience.

[@Ruzina]

Yes 💯

[@dutchsuperempath5494]

In my country women are self sufficient and are better in almost everything. They go to college more. This creates problems. We have lost our touch with pure feminine energy. And guys have lost their masculinity. I vote for going back to more oldschool ways and to praise women who take care of the family whilst being dependent on the men for money. It’s a good exchange.

[@trinityp8575]

I like the old ways 💯 but being absolutely and totally dependant on a man can also create lots of issues.

[@waterlilynymph]

I keep hearing this from women, but it’s not really what mature men want who are truly ready for something special. Any guys watching, can you confirm this?

[@nilimaibrahim8865]

No people are different. While Having your own boundary and self respect is crucial people always respond better to kindness. Who doesn’t they are broken. No amount of hard to get games will let you attain their heart. Water has no effect on fake flower. Sometimes we end up with the wrong person. While even with the right one we need to make adjustments it Won't be draining I promise you. Some men will never learn to love a lady. For someone you will always be incompatible. That's just bad luck.

[@ritaceron7329]

That’s Y I AM His Favorite #1 wife

[@ritaceron7329]

Door mat yup 👍🏻 that’s her

[@RoseMwachia]

really do love watching your videos Ruzina , lm new me👍 do appreciate changing lifes out here 👏💯

[@Ruzina]

Thank you Rose ❤️ for watching the videos and messaging. I'm so glad the videos have been helpful to you. 🤗

[@God33314]

🤔really! Sounds like...

[@aarushisingh132]

very true

[@Malekfahad420]

Hey Ruzina, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?

[@getrudetoe7122]

Thanks so much but most men like Mamie pepper especially, my African guys.

[@ritaceron7329]

Ps Love will Faith God blessings Come get it ho come front me ho ho

[@valdiviana1]

That's absolutely not entirely true!! Depending in the culture too!!