6 Signs You Are Smothering Her

So many men make the mistake of smothering his girl with his love, affection & attention. This is usually because a lack of self-confidence & insecurity. It's really the same thing as being needy and/or clingy. No matter what you call it, it's a major turn-off for women.
In this Attraction Tips video I'm going to discuss six of the biggest signs that you're #smothering her & driving her away. #TurnOffs #InsecureMen #SmotheringWomen
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If you would like to book me for emergency or monthly private one-on-one relationship / dating coaching, please visit: www.skillofattr...
I'm Erik Peterson, a men's relationship & dating coach, and at Skill of Attraction I provide dating tips & relationship advice, mainly for men, to help facilitate growing & maintaining attraction in their romantic life to where it's fun, loving & relatively effortless.
If you have any questions please contact me at the following link: www.skillofattr...
Recommended reading:
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"10 Common Needy Mistakes Guys Make with Women"":
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"6 Signs You're Over-Pursing Her":
• 6 Signs You're Over-Pu...
"Double Texting Hurts Attraction":
• Double Texting Hurts A...
If you'd like to read my article on the signs you're smothering your girl, please click here: www.skillofattr...
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[@SkillofAttraction]

For questions to be answered in the comments, please give a "super thanks" or head over to my website & ask there. 𝕊𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕆𝕗 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 Men's Advice Community: soa.fm Private relationship/dating coaching: soa.fm/dating-relationship-coaching/ Questions or feedback: soa.fm/contact/ ✔ SOA APPROVED COACHING PROGRAMS 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 How To Get A Sex Buddy: bit.ly/3Mitohu 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗿 Turn a Girl Friend into a Girlfriend: bit.ly/3Kf9EJt 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗮𝗼 𝗢𝗳 𝗕𝗮𝗱𝗮𝘀𝘀 How To Attract ANY Woman: bit.ly/35Jyx0W 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝘅 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 Get The Sex Life You Deserve: bit.ly/3K9bI5V

[@debfitz88]

This is my current boyfriend... I need space... go out with your boys...

[@SkillofAttraction]

Have you tried telling him this? You must be direct with men or they most likely won't get it.

[@barbiiebishhh3417]

I can second that!! I've tried to talk to him about it but meh he doesn't listen and turns it back on me!!!

[@GayahakJ]

@@barbiiebishhh3417 my girl feels this right now, should I cut off all communication with her during our break until she comes to me? Or would it be okay to check up every once in a while

[@hakdown07]

@@GayahakJ yes. Withdraw your attention slowly, not all at once. So if you messages first everyday. Reduce to 5 times a week this week, 4 the next, 3 the next and like that. She might notice and bring it up, just say yeah you are busy with other stuff - which you should be. She will begin to reach out more when she needs your attention. Then try to find like a middle ground and as much as possible make it such that she puts in more and you can always be there for her because you have spent your time doing other life developing things

[@iamthatiam1618]

It took me a while to find this video. My instincts is never wrong. I hate being smothered

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, most women do.

[@EllenDScott]

Trying to get ready for work and here comes his invading face wanting a kiss and to yammer on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Then when I get home, he's of course home, and he invades my face and yammers on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and gets irritated when I'm too tired for this shit. Also calls and text the shit outa me constantly, to the point where 20 years later the sound of the phone going off triggers me. 8:30, she can't get away from you fast enough. EXHAUSTING.

[@SkillofAttraction]

Unfortunately most men don't get the hint until she gets totally turned off. Be sure to read these comments from women, gentlemen.

[@stevenson3342]

My ex-girlfriend of 4 months broke up with me at the start of July. I immediately started no contact, though because we worked together, I would still say hi if we passed each other so I didn't look petty. No reaching out and no conversation beyond this. She did briefly reach out shortly after the breakup to say she had some of my things and I said she could return them and we should hang out, but she said she was busy and never rearranged it. After a total of 73 days I text her and asked her just to return my things which she did, because it feels like she's just never going to reach out. This was just over 3 weeks ago and I've heard nothing since. What should I do? Is there any hope at all or should I just give up on this?

[@SkillofAttraction]

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do. She has to come to the realization that she may lose you forever unless she does something about it. She's either not there yet, or it's just not meant to be. It's best to move-on & start dating other women. The truth is, if she truly loves you she won't let you get away permanently. But you never know what will happen in the future...I've had exes come back 4, 5, 6 months later. However, you can't put your life on a hold for a maybe.

[@danasisco2464]

@@SkillofAttraction So do these rules apply to women as well?I had alot of these from a woman

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, absolutely. Though, men are typically a little more tolerant of this coming from women, in most cases.

[@BlightBreedOfficial]

Steve nson How did you go? Did she come back yet? Remember, as Erik says. Women will never let go of a guy that they are in love with. If YOU’RE the prize and haven’t acted needy, especially just as he broke up with you, this is a huge turn on to her and eventually it’ll get stuck in her head, especially if she ever loved you. The only thing you can do, is move on at this stage, as hard as that sounds. You’ll either get her back or get someone better. Good luck :)

[@Mina-rb5ut]

She broke up with which means no more relationship. So start to move on.

[@andreamurillo09]

Just came Across this Video, I Love My Boyfriend but I feel he smothers me way to much. When I try to talk to him about it, he doesn't understand? Or gets defensive about it. I almost want to send him this video so he can watch it! But if I did that would that be mean? Haha or aggressive? Don't really know what to do at this point.

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, unfortunately many men get defensive when their girl tries to get them to improve. If you've already tried telling him, you wouldn't be the first woman who has sent one of my videos to their boyfriend. Perhaps send it to him suggesting that I have good info on how to be a more attractive man, because that's really my goal with this channel. At least this way it won't come across as you focusing on one thing (ie: smothering behavior).

[@andreamurillo09]

@@SkillofAttraction Thank you for responding! I will have to figure some way to send him this video! If I suggest him to watch this to learn how to make a man more attractive, he may take that To offense aswell. Haha

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@andreamurillo09 That's true, unfortunately. However, the best way to get through to men is to be direct. Our brain works in more of a logical "black & white" sort of way. In other words, if something is left open to interpretation there's a good chance that a man will think, "What the hell is she talking about?"

[@SophiesWorld2024]

😴 😴 😴 😴 too much crap at the start

[@SkillofAttraction]

Too much complaining in this comment

[@ffeeniixx1271]

@@SkillofAttraction someone call the burn ward!

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@arirahmati3079 Are you here to learn or are you here to criticize my responses? You should follow your own advice.

[@bigfutmp3]

My wife told me once that I’m too affectionate and she even unfriended me on Facebook because she didn’t like me posting too many love poems and love songs. But she added me back eventually; is she crazy even though we have two kids?

[@SkillofAttraction]

What she means here is, that she is perceiving this behavior as feminine, which is a turn-off for her. It doesn't matter if that's what it is or not, it's how she perceives it. You don't want to be someone you're not, but it may also be a good idea to dial it back a bit. I'm a romantic at heart, but I let it out in measured doses.

[@chaosstalker6761]

Sometimes I wanna be smothered sometimes 😔 I want a clingy bf but I'm good with my bf who at least talks to me a few times a day :)

[@SkillofAttraction]

Many women say they want these things until they get it.

[@chaosstalker6761]

@@SkillofAttraction fr tho, like if my mans constantly told me about how much he loves me, I wouldn't let him go because I would sit him down have him just rant about how much he loves me, put a face mask on him, put one on my face and then take cute asf pictures for later so I can make wholesome memes and send them to him when I miss him

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@chaosstalker6761 Have you had a man smother you like you're saying? In my personal & professional experiences women only find that cute for a little while. My girl loves it when I tell her that I love her; she practically melts. But that's partly due to the fact that I don't say it to her very often & she knows when I say it that I truly mean it. If I said it to her all the time it wouldn't be anywhere near as special to her. By 'smothering' I only mean overdoing it. I'm not suggesting that men do not do any of those sweet romantic things at all.

[@rinda33x]

Your intro is so boring.

[@SkillofAttraction]

No one has a gun to your head...

[@deshawn1801]

Live and you learn allow yourselves to make mistakes that’s how you learn

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, exactly! I made all these same mistakes too. My goal is to teach you guys what works & what doesn't work so you don't continue to beat your head against the wall when it comes to women.

[@neelbhavsar1977]

@@SkillofAttraction What do you think about me and my girl in LDR coming together for a video call everyday and a heartfelt talk? I know LDR is ridiculous. But I've given her a lot of support and her own time. We naturally message each other time to time whenever we are free. And find ourselves in sync before sleep. I think this is balanced for me but still I want to give her the time she needs so I never ever push her around. I only ask sometimes to find times and been reasonable. What do you feel? Any advice? (basically we live our own lives and find time for each other and flutter back to one other)

[@SkillofAttraction]

The video calls would be more special to her (& you) if they weren't so frequent. I feel everyday is a bit too much. So, I recommend that you arrange video dates. These can be fun if you plan something a little different than only talking; perhaps have dinner together over video, have some wine, watch a movie together, etc. Really whatever you want & something fun for both of you. Arrange these dates approximately once a week. Spacing them out this way, & making it fun, will make your calls much more special for both of you...but especially her. And always remember, if you have the option to go faster or slower with a woman, always take it slower.

[@wildflowersmile3224]

Trust me, when my sisters or girlfriends complain about their men behind closed doors, it's these things! And when I listen I think to myself, "Self, watch out for men like that!"

[@GnosticCushite]

Never be yourself. Be the BEST of yourself

[@SkillofAttraction]

Exactly! That's really what all this is about...being your best self so you're happy, fulfilled & confident; which will influence any woman you're with to be HER best self.

[@Hollablackgirl93]

This is my fiancé he makes it seem like it's my problem... Constantly hovering over me. I can't even get dressed without him being in my face, smacking my ass or groping my breast -- forcing me to give tongue kisses even though I hate them (I've told him this before) but it's like he has no boundaries. Always texting, ALWAYS... Even when I was at work and wasn't allowed to have my phone on the floor. He wants me to spend every waking minute with him and when I tell him to have fun with his friends he thinks it's b/c I don't want to spend time with him (yes & no -- I want you to have a life outside of me)... Let me not even talk about the guilt trips he puts one me... I have to change but he doesn't. I have to be more affectionate but he doesn't have to dial it back a bit. It's really exhausting and depressing to the point that I want to leave because I feel like this is not even healthy.

[@Prettyyrichdollz]

It's not healthy I went thru that too

[@SteveWKk]

Sounds horrible…. You really don’t want to marry that.

[@iamthatiam1618]

Ooh, you took me back some years. I can't stand that. It made me stop dating all together. I'm too happy to go back there. Sheesh

[@assassincreed2087]

Red flag for being controlling. I hope you didn't give him a very long grace period before ending things

[@camillecooper1964]

It is not healthy...my current boyfriend behaves like this it frustrates me and he is always offended by my actions. To be honest I lash out sometimes cause I cant get any me time he is always in my space 😢.

[@freddyleftyou486]

Been there. Done that. Won all the trophys!!! What aggravated me more than making the mistakes is where on Earth did this pussyish behavior get ingrained in us. Thanks for the content

[@SkillofAttraction]

Societal conditioning, movies/tv, radical feminism. Thanks for watching, man!

[@AmaLoveGoddessTV]

Single mothers, constant rejection, insecurity

[@ketobodybuilder2482]

Men always loved better than women. They are like cats.

[@Deetrim]

I feel I am in too deep. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years we dated for two months all was great and then my dad died, so for a year I cared about nothing but my own grief. For that year I went to therapy and in healing I began to see how my boyfriend really is.. he does everything for me I used to think it was because he had a big heart but now I see it’s because he has no self worth or self esteem and doing everything for people gives him a sense of being. I’m with him every weekend and if I make other plans he acts differently, he calls me constantly in the morning and if I don’t pick up he texts me right away, he has randomly showed up at my job “to surprise me” even when I’ve said I’m not comfortable with it. We do share locations and again he’s randomly showed up. I feel my being revolves around his happiness. All of his friends are online friends I find that really weird. Now that I am healing from my grief I’m ready to get back into my social life I miss my friends it can’t all be about my boyfriend I feel completely overwhelmed turned off and honestly over it

[@SkillofAttraction]

Thank you for sharing! It's comments like this coming from women that help to reinforce the message I'm trying to convey to men...there's a balance between too little & too much, & too much often signals a lack of self worth, where their happiness revolves around the woman in their life. Men - women want a loving, confident man who is happy & self-assured without needing her validation.

[@SteveWKk]

It sounds like you need to move on from him…….. He needs to get a life that involves more than just You.

[@TammyDenseDdank5658]

Telling some one to not over do it is the right way to go, it means you are not gaming and sets a tone of your own personality. If they are unable to improve or reflect on the given topic then there is no helping.

[@FreddyGaming]

I used to do all of that Eric, thanks for this video.

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, I did too. It gets easier the more you understand & implement what you've learned.

[@fredstead5652]

The first, and main sign is her having a pillow on her face

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, that's a pretty obvious sign! Though I don't recommend that... 😂

[@kellydevreese3944]

My boyfriend calls me 24/7 and its suffocating... not just calling but video calling... meaning i have to hold my phone up. i dont know how to tell him i dont like it without him taking it wrong... he even calls when he is working! Luckily when im at my job he cant call cause at my job phones are forbidden. I am a music person. I need music to stay sane. I cant listen music cause he calls all the time. Its been 2 weeks i havent listened to music and i notice im getting angry over nothing. He even wants to call in the car. Then i carefully say but i actually want to listen to my music. And he says you can listen another time. I put on music super loud a few times when he calls also busy cleaning and stuff putting my phone down all the time hoping he would say i notice your busy i will call you later. Or call me back when your done. But he doesnt he keeps talking till i turn my music down cause i dont understand him. If i dont he says i ignore him.... i feel like i have no life! My hobby is dancing and singing. And he knows that even before we were dating. But now i cant do that anymore. And i dont know how to tell him without him getting angry at me and thinking i lose intrest in him. Exept for the calling i really like him but the calling is hell! I understand he misses me cause we dont see each other often but this to me is not a healthy level of attention. I understand he has nothing better to do cause he still lives with his mother and is laying there bored on his bed after his job cause he cant do his hobby anymore due to his injury. But i do still have stuff to do and i cant cause im always videocalling. My place a mess cause i cannot even clean it cause i have to hold up my phone. Ive thought about lying that i have to work a few hours longer so i can get stuff done but i dont want to lie.

[@SkillofAttraction]

That's super annoying...& definitely not healthy. Perhaps try telling him that you miss him too & love talking to him, & catching up, but you need some "me" time occasionally, & it's not personal. In order to get through to men you must be direct, because if you're tip-toeing around what you really want to say he most likely will not get it. Another option is to send him this video. One woman recently took this route with her boyfriend & received the message loud & clear...he even booked some time with me so I could get him on the right track with his smothering.

[@camillecooper1964]

People who smother others are control freaks even though they guise it as love there is a dark side to it...abuse

[@bluntweirdo]

I knew a woman who told me she wanted a man to practically breathe for her. She was a narcissist. LOL.

[@SkillofAttraction]

Eesh! Run from women like that!

[@bluntweirdo]

Skill of Attraction I couldn’t even stay her friend. I don’t mess with psychos

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@bluntweirdo Good! Someone like that will only bring you trouble.

[@briellewalker5654]

I can understand a lack of confidence. It happens and to an extent its ok. It's ok to have feelings. But the extreme neediness and insecurity makes us feel like 1. We can't be good enough or our efforts to show love just aren't enough no matter what. 2. You don't trust us 3. You expect us to fill the void that you never dealt with making it our responsibility to be everything and all things. 4. We can't have our own lives or hobbies or be ourselves anymore 5. Your live is conditional/inauthentic

[@SkillofAttraction]

All very good points! Thanks for sharing!

[@tjjamison1736]

I gotta tell you man you are a seriouslly motivated coach. You've made me realize something I've never realized about myself until now. Time to work on it!!

[@SkillofAttraction]

That's great, man! I'm glad you've learned something!

[@zacheryrichardson875]

But how do u slowly back away while still keeping her interested

[@SkillofAttraction]

Just give her a little less & less than what you normally do every week until she's investing in you again.

[@colingraham1071]

Lol some of these are what I do but I think it because of fear but what I don't understand is ... is why giving someone the world and being a gentlemen and saying that I love you and showing feelings is seen as to nice and weak and suffocating but if your not like that and act like your not bothered and give them space and not message or call regularly your seen as an asshole and an uncaring partner so where is the centre what is the middle ground

[@SkillofAttraction]

The balance is a bit different for everyone, but there IS a balance. But understand what is meant by "nice guy"... kzbin.info/www/bejne/emG7cmVtr6uab8U kzbin.info/www/bejne/hJqUhH2JlMZqoK8

[@colingraham1071]

@@SkillofAttraction thank you so much

[@Hypatiaization]

I just broke up with my man 👨🏻 because HE DIDNT GET IT. I explained and set my boundaries but he doesn’t get it. I’m turned off and repulsed by him now. He is impotent (which I was willing to work with). I tried to have intimacy but he’s whole demeanour is kind of ‘feminine’ and subservient. So all of this has just drive me crazy. He has no guy friends and always follows me around like a lost dog. Now he’s choosing pride and giving me passive aggressive drama, silent treatment etc because he doesn’t want to see his error. I tried to talk to him and warn him that I WILL pull away if he doesn’t give me my space. It’s really uncomfortable.

[@SkillofAttraction]

That's a shame he wasn't getting it when you were being direct & clearly warned him. Some men just don't like to hear that they're making mistakes. But, you tried...unfortunately that's all you can do. Actually, one of my clients told me that his girlfriend sent him this exact video...🤷🏻‍♂️

[@fleecejohnson6939]

You probably act like a dude

[@deannanuboshi1387]

My husband smothers me, send me many long emails per day often, sometimes are very emotional, sometimes just what happens in his work. This contributes a lot to my decision to divorce him.

[@SkillofAttraction]

I understand. Hopefully he will find my videos & turn himself around.

[@abdulkarimabdulmalik1034]

😂😎

[@gina1280]

Wut Haha

[@Dee_Dee794]

I would love this 💗.

[@ashsidhu996]

When a women does it, men are expected to listen to her, understand her etc, yeah that's right just get rid of her, divorce her. Just give it back.

[@sugag2870]

Watching this 4 months too late

[@SkillofAttraction]

It may too late for your previous relationship, but you'll find this extremely helpful in all future relationships.

[@sugag2870]

@@SkillofAttraction Yes ! Thank you so much for this

[@kanten_Harrison]

She would always initiate text/phone calls however, I would at the end of the relationship initiate touch. One time I remember I would go hold her hand and she would at first, then pull away I’d go back to hold her hand again. Looking back now I see I smothered her without even noticing it. Also, when she stopped sending kissy face emoji’s like she did at the beginning I said something about it when I should’ve left it alone and not bring attention to it. Great tips as always man! Thanks for opening up my eyes to smothering things I was doing and not even noticing!

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, we often don't even realize we're doing these things. This is one of the reasons that men need to do the work (build their value, self improvement, achieve abundance, etc)...so much of this comes natural. You will get to the point where you start to believe that YOU are the prize. When a girl pulls her hand away when you feel that you're the prize, you won't give it a second thought. You'll just let it go...& any thought you may have would be more along the lines of "her loss", rather than, "why is she pulling her hand away? Does she not like me anymore?"

[@Oscar-ut3pp]

Idk if it’s a behavior that I am smothering my girlfriend but recently her dog got really sick and she’s been sad lately, I text her to see if she’s okay and we talk, I’m always there for her and I seen one of your vids that said don’t always be there for her but I can’t cause she’s my gf and I feel really bad if I don’t. I only text her to show that I’m there to comfort her. Am I lowering her attraction, should I keep texting her or give her space? Also she needs help with money for the vet, is it a beta move to help her with the money?

[@SkillofAttraction]

There's nothing wrong with checking in on her occasionally & being there for her when she needs someone to lean on. After all, that's part of a boyfriend's duty. However, you must be cognizant of how she's responding so you can reciprocate accordingly. As an example, if she's being cold, distant, disinterested &/or not investing in you when you do this, that's a sign that you're overdoing it & you must back off immediately & let her come to you...even if you feel bad about it. Feeling bad about it is really just a fear of losing her. In other words, you're afraid that if you do not do this she will stop liking you or get mad at you. This is not true. In this case, with her dog being sick, you should treat her like anyone else you care about. Would you be texting one of your buddies the same way? If not, then you're probably over-investing in her, which will eventually cause her attraction for you to drop.

[@debrasmith915]

You are sooo onto it in this video. I love the word "dumpsville" and those emotional books he writes are more then I can stand, not that I read them really more like glace and fall asleep. My friend who is so emotional, I would always say how I got to go I'm so tired then one day he said "you get tired alot aye" quietly embarrassed I was. Now I'm honest I say it how it is because he does piss me off.

[@SkillofAttraction]

I can see how it'd be annoying & smothering if he's writing you long, emotional texts/letters, etc. Many men believe that if they pour their heart out to a woman, she'll like him more. But you're doing the right thing if you're being honest & direct with him. If you want to get through to men, you must be direct. The average man doesn't typically pick up on indirect, subtle, covert communication that women tend to prefer.

[@ryanprewitt4680]

Man I got to say it's real easy to take advice from you when I close my eyes and hear Jon Gruden

[@SkillofAttraction]

Do I sound like him, or are you just making it easier to follow my advice?

[@ryanprewitt4680]

@@SkillofAttraction you sound exactly like him at times. He's a great quaterback coach in the NFL so I'd say that also makes it easier to follow your advice. Also I've implemented your advice and have had tremendous results, so thanks man!

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@ryanprewitt4680 Now you have me curious...I'll have to look up some videos where he's speaking.

[@JwiseTheRealist]

This thumbnail said it all ....

[@leehughes7031]

O’h god i failed like a little bitch

[@SkillofAttraction]

Well, now you know better & can move forward. If she's still with you, just stop this behavior & watch her attitude towards you change. It may not change overnight, but if you keep at it she will begin to feel an increased attraction in you.

[@mustang13990]

I asked my girlfriend if she felt I was smothering her and she said no. I see her at lease 2-4 times a week and noticed she doesn’t give me the same level of attention and affection she did at the beginning of our relationship and been distant. I have noticed that whenever we have a conversation it’s usually all about her and never inquires about me anymore. Would you happen to know why this is happening? Thanks

[@SkillofAttraction]

Pay more attention to a woman's actions, than what she says. Girls will often tell you things that aren't true so they don't hurt your feelings. I'm not saying that you are smothering her, but she most likely won't tell you until you pushed her to the edge. I can't say for sure what's going on, but it does sound like she's a little bored & a little overconfident about where she stands with you. When women feel that they have you, you become a low(er) priority. I recommend that you pull back just a little (be a little distant yourself, be a little less available, shorten your conversations, etc) & see if that changes the dynamics at all. if not, then pull back more. You want to get her to a place where she's asking herself the same questions you're asking me.

[@mustang13990]

@@SkillofAttraction Thank you so much.

[@mustang13990]

@@SkillofAttraction At the beginning of our relationship she would always ask if I was coming to see her and each time I did she would cook for me. Always waited to eat together but now things are very different. She never calls me to come see her anymore or ask to do something together. Whenever she calls me, the whole conversation revolves around her and never asks me anything. Now I feel like I am wanting to see her more than she wants to see me. Would it be possible to change it to where things used to be? Thanks

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@mustang13990 Yes, that sounds like what I mentioned above. This happens sometimes in relationships...it;s actually very common. However, in most cases the man begins chasing her more & trying harder. Logically that makes sense to do that, but that's actually pushing her away more. Most likely you're displaying behavior that reassures her too much without even realizing it. Men do this by giving their girl too much attention or being too loving, which tells a woman that she has you. Before she was chasing you a bit & seeking your validation, but now there is nothing for her to chase. Don't be a jerk about it, just pull back your attention & availability a bit until she begins to invest again. Reward her with your attention when she treats you well & shows you affection. When she's not, turn your attention elsewhere (goals, hobbies, gym, etc). Once she notices the distance, & if it's important to her, she will begin to invest more.

[@ysf6875]

I think the last sign (respect) if you don't stand for her for not respecting you, that's going to lower your value. How can you ignore disrespectful behaviors?

[@SkillofAttraction]

I didn't say ignore it, I said don't get upset/emotional about it...especially if she's being disrespectful due to your own actions/behavior. Like the example I used in this video, if you lack ambition she's going to naturally lose respect for you. Yes, stand up for yourself & don't allow her to treat you that way, but usually when a woman is disrespectful to a man, it's due to the man's own actions...or she's testing him.

[@ravindran8838]

I did this to the love of my life, i should have watched this sooner! I always thought the problem was her, but it’s just me

[@SkillofAttraction]

Most of us have been a bit smothering with a girl we really love. It's mostly about having emotional self control & having purpose outside of the relationship. When you have purpose in your life, you won't be so focused on your girl.

[@SkillofAttraction]

@P T It doesn't matter what label is on the relationship, just began dating or in a LTR; if you smother her she WILL push you away.

[@SkillofAttraction]

@P T Yes they certainly do push/pull. Men are actually much more even keel than women, as women follow their emotions, which are always in flux. I think you need to watch some of my videos.

[@Perrythebighamster]

Really helpful and good advice

[@SkillofAttraction]

Glad it was helpful!

[@pgottigotti9908]

Hey thnx for help my girl said the same thing that you said I'm smothering her way too much and I have noticed that but I'm being myself but in the beginning I was not like that and she was more attracted to me now she's telling me that I need to be more like a man and stop smothering her I'm acting more like a woman than she is and we've been together for seven months how do I stop this gained her love for me again thank you again

[@SkillofAttraction]

Well, the smothering is usually the result of wanting that same affection from her. So smothering men will do these things as a way to get it back from her. This is a needy vibe & not the way to get her affection...in fact this will cause her to give you less affection. For starters, you're going to want to dial it way back; don't initiate contact with her as much, touch her less, dial back your affection overall. Also, you want to begin turning the majority of your focus onto yourself & start getting your needs met elsewhere. No, I don't mean other women. Focus on pursuing your goals/hobbies, health/fitness (body, mind, spirit), & building/maintaining your social circle. The idea here is to make yourself fulfilled so you're not seeking it out from her, & you will notice a big difference in her...she will be seeking out YOUR attention & affection. It's counterintuitive, but it works like a charm.

[@nathannuurah]

Gold Thanks

[@gilakmen2041]

if u already smothering her..how to stop or fix the situation

[@SkillofAttraction]

You really just have to stop. However, it will be helpful for you to focus on your goals & hobbies. Men tend to put much of their focus on a woman when they have nothing else happening in their life. So, you most likely need some productive activities in our life.

[@hancocks6664]

Good video. Question. Does this also apply if you have a girlfriend or a wife in a serious relationship?

[@SkillofAttraction]

Thanks! It applies to any woman you're romantically/sexually involved with.

[@kiddingkidding3647]

My boyfriend caught corona virus and quarantined the same day I landed my home country after a short international trip. I wanted time and space with my family while he was bored and overthinking in his quarantine period. I would make excuses like I’m going going to eat or have to do the dishes to buy myself sometime to listen to music or simply be with my family. He felt he was taken for granted , I told him why and how he was smothering me. Now he is aloof and distant and doesn’t talk to me a lot and now I’m restless

[@SkillofAttraction]

So, he's having a bit of a temper tantrum. Well, you can mirror him until he caves, but he may do the same. Or, you could try to end the stand-off by explaining to him how you need some "me" time occasionally & that it's nothing personal. When you want to get through to men you must be direct, or chances are we won't get it. Our brains aren't wired the same as a woman's, so it's easy for us to miss the subtle nuances a woman is trying to communicate. What you may think is obvious he may not even notice.

[@kiddingkidding3647]

@@SkillofAttraction he left me because of it , he ended the 5 year relationship although I was begging him to stay and sort

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@kiddingkidding3647 I'm sorry to hear that. If you tried to talk to him & work it out & he still walked away, you did all that you can do...at least for now. He has to be willing to work it out too, or you'll be just chasing your own tail. You could tell him that if he has a change of heart & decides he wants to work it out, he can contact you. Then just go "no contact" until you hear from him. This communicates that the door is open for him, but you're not going to chase him. A 5 year relationship will not be easy for him to walk away from, so there's a really good chance that you'll be hearing from him again...& probably relatively soon.

[@kiddingkidding3647]

@@SkillofAttraction thank you so much for the help. BLESS You

[@PS-xb9hc]

On point explanation.

[@SkillofAttraction]

Thank you!

[@jordanmendiola7025]

Great stuff man. Thank you

[@SkillofAttraction]

Thanks for watching!

[@Italiana72787]

Thank you, you just described the guy I broke up with to a T.

[@SkillofAttraction]

Hopefully he finds me & he can begin turning things around for himself. Thanks for watching!

[@Italiana72787]

Skill of Attraction I sent him the video because he wouldn’t hear it from me. Hopefully he will actually listen.

[@SkillofAttraction]

That's great! Perhaps he'll be a bit more open to hearing it from another man.

[@xyhanx]

As a guy, how would you like the girl to address this to you?

[@SkillofAttraction]

Address me; as in, what would i like a woman to call me?

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@yahyahyor Not sure how I misunderstood that. When you want to get through to a man you must be direct. We're black & white creatures, & if there's any grey area there's a good chance that we won't get exactly what you're saying. We take words at face value. So, you could tell him something like, "Look, I love you, bu I'm feeling a bit smothered. I appreciate all the things you do for me, but it's just a bit too much". Perhaps even share this video with him. One of the common themes I try to get across to men is finding the balance between doing too much vs too little. Most men go too far one way, but that's mainly because they *think* this is what the woman wants.

[@dligon01]

I am not too proud to admit this but I just chased an ex away with 4 out of these 6 signs especially with my over communication

[@SkillofAttraction]

It's good that you're recognizing it so you can prevent yourself from doing this in the future, whether it be with your ex coming back, or a new girl.

[@jakeilmcqueen1399]

I’m just fall back from mines just move around cause if I’m doing all she don’t need to be with me

[@SkillofAttraction]

I'm not exactly sure what you're saying here...?

[@jakeilmcqueen1399]

Skill of Attraction my fiancé thinks I’m smothering her so I’m just fall back and leave her alone for a while

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, the best way you can handle it.

[@mamacoco820]

Too much talk.

[@SkillofAttraction]

Do you want to have a clear understanding or only bits & pieces? Perhaps you'd prefer to read it instead: www.skillofattraction.com/6-signs-you-are-smothering-her/

[@theguynextdoor4978]

I don't feel that I'm over-pursuing her. I check in on her about 2 times a week, but she rarely initiates first. She was quite mad at me 2 days ago out of the blue complaining that I'm talking too much about myself. After some reflection and thought through observing our conversations, I acknowledge that she was kind of right. I just said that I apologize for making her feel unimportant and I'll be a bit more mindful when we first do talk. After this I never brought up the topic again as being overly apologetic is unattractive. I had to cancel our meeting the 3rd time due to a change in local corona travel restrictions in my country. After this, she does not initiate contact, yet I tried to salvage things by promising to find room for another meeting as soon as possible, and that national COVID rules are nothing we can control. How can I salvage this?

[@SkillofAttraction]

It sounds like you're doing things right, by initiating contact about twice a week, but the fact that she's not initiating at all tells me that either her attraction for you isn't as high as it should be, or she's mirroring you. In either case, you want to continue to mirror HER level of effort. The idea here is that you continue to build the sexual tension until she caves. However, something definitely seems off here. Perhaps you're not seeing each other enough, which i know is difficult with all the covid restrictions. Have you considered arranging virtual dates (facetime, skype, etc)? While not ideal, it's the best thing that you can do when you can't see each other in person. The trick with this is that you treat it like a real date & not just a video chat. Women need some romance to feel special. This doesn't mean that you have be sappy with your romance, even something like cooking dinner together can be very romantic. So, I recommend that you try a virtual date & see how it goes.

[@theguynextdoor4978]

Skill of Attraction I’m not the most romantic. But i like to sparingly let her know and feel that she’s special to me. I have been guilty of being a bit too responsive. Maybe I’ll try to be a bit unavailable. She does still say that she loves me at times. I had a short period of depression, but I just didn’t pester her with it. That might explain why I was kind of boring. I know there’s another guy who won’t leave her alone who she repeatedly told to take a hike. I even stood up for her and told him to respect himself enough to cut his losses.

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@theguynextdoor4978 You have the right idea in mind; making her feel special without being too available to her. In general, you want to express your want & desire for her, but in such a way where there's a little question mark at the end for her. When a woman is too confident about where she stands with you, this is typically when they become distant, pull away, colder, etc. When a woman isn't completely sure where she stands with you, this is when she will typically begin to chase your validation. It's not exactly that cut & dry, because there are nuances & testing involved, but that is the basics.