9 Types of People, 9 Different Reactions...Why Does Conflict Happen?

[@joellenlevitre2590]

My good friend is a 1 and I'm a 9. It's funny how often we end up having conflict, even though I do everything I can to avoid it. We met up in Manhattan for a last minute vacation. She was mad at me the whole time because she expected me to have everything planned. I usually travel alone and I rarely have things planned. She is not flexible.

[@Jemimastar28]

I’m a type 4 and it was spot on! Being ignored is a huge trigger for me. I think it’s because it’s so unworthy to do to any human being. It’s important to really see and notice eachother

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yes! Such a great point! Love this! Thanks for sharing!

[@joellenlevitre2590]

One thing that I've never heard anyone else say...As a 9, I get excessively mad because someone has made me feel anger. I avoid being angry, and when I can't avoid it, I experience rage.

[@williamcurtis3323]

Loved this angle. My partner is a 9 and hearing your perspective really helped me understand where he’s coming from.

[@trevorfrayne6418]

I'm a type 6. And this video is spot on in approaching us in conflict. Trying to move past a trust issue with us at a rapid speed makes us suspicious of you. I find if the trust is already been built then you will be able to move quicker with me. However, someone who hasn't built trust with me and myself with them, and tries to push past a boundary will cause a huge trigger in me.

[@DarkLuminosityHI]

This is super helpful... I had bookmarked this to watch later, and then my husband and I had a slight challenge. (Not a fight because it didn't escalate and I knew I was wrong, and admitted it/apologized) I watched it right away and this helped me to see as a 2w1 and my husband as a 5w6 (sometimes 5w4) why he was so upset. Thank you.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Wow. Thank you for sharing! Glad it could help!

[@sandrad3554]

So I am leaning towards the enneagram 3, and at first I didn't agree about what makes me angry. But I gave it some more thought and realized that I was never in that type of situation because I would never put myself there in the first place haha. Every major project that I was ever a part of has done pretty well because, well, I'm a WINNER dagnabbit lol! Now bear with me I'm just joking... I'm not super competitive (at least not outwardly lol) but I tell myself that I'm a winner every now and then when I'm working my ass off on one of my fifty million goals. So in essence, hypothetically yes I would probably be upset. The rest of it was instantly spot on for me as well, so thanks for the insight. I'm definitely learning to put myself in those types of situations!

[@joyking7609]

Great video Hillary!❤

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thank you Joy!

[@margaretjudice8944]

Great advice! I relate to the 2. Great video! Thank you for sharing!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Glad it was helpful! I always love hearing from you Margaret!

[@anitadodd]

The 2 thing happened yesterday mixed with a little 3, so 2 wins this round. 😆

[@omowhanre]

As a type 1, type 4 sounds so very exhausting and a bit controlling.

[@debmarrett212]

So accurate! I'm a 2 working closely with 1. My husband, son and sister are a 5.

[@HeathDavisHavlick]

Great topic,Hillary! The Enneagram is such a great tool for conflict resolution and for compassion. As I said in my book, almost every conflict is a personality conflict!

[@ericacamp7353]

Great job! I have difficulty with my 9 boss in this way. Because a lot of the issues I deal with I can dismiss because is it important? But when it is important I get sooo angry. Usually that’s when the people I actually care about say something and I’m actually hurt. Not angry.

[@ellensippel8413]

Great video. I am a six who has had a recent conflict with someone and this really expressed why this person upset me. As yu were going over each point on what causes conflict, I was like Yes!!! think this video has given me the tools to express why certain things bothered me. Thank you.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thank you for sharing! Makes my day when these videos help out! ❤️

[@laurathomas951]

Can your wing effect your triggers? I am a 6w5 and the triggers of the 5 were closer to how I feel. Feeling overwhelmed is the worst for me.

[@lorrielee885]

WOW!!! That was an amazing video! So, much information. I definitely need to listen when I have a chance to take notes. And oh my goodness, I really seem to move really often to the second type in my tri-type when it comes to times of conflict. I think if it's something that doesn't matter to me so much I will stay in 7 but 3 ....I so identified with 3 in conflict. I identify with 3 a lot I'm finding out. I must have lived a lot of life believing 7 just didn't work for me. Have you heard the Sleeping at Last Songs for the Enneagram types? My daughter told me about them when they first came out and I avoided them (since she's always all in her feelings and I don't want to be...lol) but when Abbey Howe did a video of her reaction to them, I watched it and it just wrecked me. Especially the song for Type 3 and type 8. It really left me wondering if when I was younger I leaned on my 8 wing more than I do now. Again...absolutely loved this video and can't wait to share it with some of my friends and family.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Awww thanks Lorrie! I always love reading what you got out of my videos! And yes I have heard all the Sleeping at last songs and love ALL of them! I think I did a KZbin video a year ago listening to the type 9 song and breaking down the meaning of all the lyrics. They are amazing songs. That's awesome Abbey did all of them!

[@lorrielee885]

@@enneagramandcoaching I looked for it but couldn't find it. I think being a 7 born to an 8 Dad and a 1 Mom....with both of them being very goal oriented and obviously me...not so much; I quickly found out to get their approval, I needed to perform, so I moved to that type 3 to try to get the love I needed that I wasn't feeling as a 7. When it got to the lyrics that said "I only want what's real, I set aside the highlight reel and leave my greatest failures on display (*worthy of love anyway) I lost it...couldn't avoid the feelings that came crashing in with those lyrics.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

@@lorrielee885 here’s the video-kzbin.info/www/bejne/bKiXfHWer9Npg8k

[@kylewood9078]

Type 5, if you see me stress-eating, I'm not okay

[@HighFiveFriend]

👍🏼 relatable!

[@elvinpantowijoyo5358]

Type 7, skip-watching this video (no-offense though, it's really a great one, I just have to do something else), I wanna add one more trigger for type 7: feeling that their time and/or attention is wasted, even more so if it's intentional.

[@jenniferaa1011]

Agreed - 7w8 myself

[@slenderlopez]

Fr. I got a 7 friend who's like that

[@jenniferaa1011]

7w8 - if you want to cause conflict with me, just tell me I'm not allowed/cannot to do something I think is a really good idea. 😑