A Formula To Boost Confidence & Decode Someone Lying To You With Vanessa Van Edwards

0:00 Vanessa Van Edwards
03:47 What Cue Is Your Font Sending?
11:20 Your Backdoor To Confidence
19:10 Learning Personal Cues
23:30 Myths About Charisma
27:45 Confidence Vs Charisma
40:05 Cues For Remote Work
47:25 Speed Round
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[@alcudiababe1]

I must add this and I'm adding a fact about myself. I have a stammer - and at schools growing up where you have to stand up and talk to the class and read from your page - I'd dread this. Saying a few words loudly about the colours in the rainbow was one thing not a whole page in my writing book. Well, I always remember this one day, I must have been in the early years of high school. I remember the teacher Mrs Carver and she'd teach History and the room would be listening to me as I struggled and restarted and stammered my way through. Now, I could see how uninterested everyone had become because it didn't look like they were interested in anything I had to say and I could feel their disinterest because I looked up from my book to engage with my audience and I could have started crying right there and then. They were only listening to me out of politeness and I got the feeling I needed to hurry up and sit down which made me worce and if you think I was really trying, and I can't engage my own audience it does give you lack of self worth. I have struggled with a stammer all my life, I've never given up, because in my head I've always had something important to say but around the age of 15 I gave up and I sat on my Mother's lap and wouldn't play with my own cousins I got to such a low point at that age! I'd been to various speech therapists but then I met Stephen. He taught me a whole new way to breathe and speak and really break down the dynamics of speaking like everyone else does. Some of kids at school took an interest in what I'd been doing and asked me about these lessons I'd been going to and I told them I was trying to talk without breathing and I remember this one girl going I don't think I could talk if I didn't breathe but as Vanessa says she's a recovering social anxiety person well, stammering is exactly the same it's anxiety based and once I got the confidence to engage the class my confidence soured and it grew and grew! It's not a fix for life - I'll always have a stammer but I have to practice it and apparently I learnt I realised I could switch it off or on if I really needed to impress somebody but once I could engage my audience and people started listening to what I had to say with interest - I'm telling anyone how a spark of confidence goes a long way but I just needed a little bit of it to push through - at school I'd memorize the whole prayer at the morning assembly and I'd tell everyone to take a seat and start the prayer off. I ended up getting in my English speaking GCSE exam I got a B in my results!

[@KimKaupe1]

What a great story! I'm glad you never gave up and learned how to overcome. Cheers to you!

[@alcudiababe1]

I know why Kim is saying wrong cues and then Vanessa is saying there's no right or wrong cues. Basically Vanessa talks about how to be more confident, how to handle interview questions, how to handle just about any type of social settling for example - she's said the best place to meet people is from a bar instead of at the food stand, or from the door etc on the Women Of Impact so people are more comfortable when they've got a drink in their hands. This why Kim is saying that there could be wrong cues. Like you stood by the door to greet everyone and not the bar and now you've messed up your social interactions! Another example is when you are nervous and people take it to mean you're not competent or confident enough. Another example again, you can show an interviewer how friendly and warm you are but if they don't see any competence or get the right balance of it then they don't take you seriously and then it's thank you for coming and they don't bother getting in touch!!!

[@vanessavanedwards8014]

This was so fun!

[@johnnydelrome]

You’re so fun! 😃

[@angelaomondi913]

Vanessa, been watching your videos lately...you are so charismatic and interesting to watch and learn from!

[@chaprijohnson2555]

I'm learning so much from you...I so relate to your story of being socially awkward. When I learned of your platform, I exclaimed, "HALLELUJAH, somebody GETS ME!!" Because of you, Vanessa, I am proclaiming that I am BECOMING a recovering awkward person!! One day you'll see me showing up in your Science of People School one day soon!!❤

[@chaprijohnson2555]

Forgot to add...I have both your CUES and CAPTIVATE (I have both the paperback and just purchased it as an audio book because I wanted to read and hear it in your voice)❤

[@chaprijohnson2555]

This session was EXTREMELY HELPFUL!! I gleaned so much from this discussion!!❤ Vanessa Van Edwards is my new favorite Influencer 😍...I will be joining her SOP School as soon as I am able!! Thank you for all the nuggets 😘

[@KimKaupe1]

So glad you enjoyed it Chapri! Isn't she the best?! I've learned so much from her!

[@chaprijohnson2555]

I learned MUCH from you also...a LOT I had not considered. Thanks so much!!!❤ can't wait to get the transcript from this! This was GOLD!!

[@KimKaupe1]

@@chaprijohnson2555 I wrote up a blog post with my top takeaways form the conversation here if you want to check it out: kimkaupe.com/vanessa-van-edwards-using-cues-to-become-more-charismatic/

[@JezzaM77]

In the graphic design industry, Comic Sans is the most hated font!

[@KimKaupe1]

Haha it's so funny a font can send cues. I'd have to agree, Comic Sans is not my favorite font.

[@Richards678]

I don't like comic sans font, seems to me like it's for children text books... " why would I use I childres font "? LOL ...but I don't think it's not fun 😅 FOR KIDS... 😅

[@alcudiababe1]

Well actually most people if they want a letter from you or you're publishing a book the most common font they want you to use is Times New Roman because they need something readable because all these other fonts you might not understand what's an r or an f or different words just because it can squiggle and leave the reader confused and you need to be sure you're punching in easy to read words so people understand your books, letters, or emails

[@peterbent5690]

Great video. Keep doing your thing 😊🙏🏾

[@KimKaupe1]

Thank you Peter! I learned so much from Vanessa!

[@rcz2023]

Thank you for sharing

[@KimKaupe1]

Glad you enjoyed it! I learned so much from Vanessa.

[@RoyVergara]

Lol you might have misinterpreted the comic sans joke as it’s sans meaning “without”, so the punchline is “without humor or not funny”. It’s less about a reference to the technical & psychological aspects of proper font & typography usage. But I did enjoy the tangent y’all went on as I agree with comic sans being a horrible font choice, same with Papyrus. Loved the overall segment thanks!

[@KimKaupe1]

Hahah that's a great point about the "sans" portion of comic sans. But yes fonts can make or break things for me!

[@bhimpokhrel8386]

Wow...very good video.

[@KimKaupe1]

So glad you enjoyed it!

[@Iamcapable4]

Coffee ☕️&honny cheers 🍻😊👋

[@musclelegancemusclelegance5642]

This is great although the intro was so long I checked out

[@jncyj]

I walked up to this girl on the street walking towards me I said hi, i have to go, I just wanted to know what your name is. She did not say anything but I said it's ok you can make up a name. She laughed then said her name I said it's nice to meet you i repeated her name then i walked away. Was that good? Any spark from the laugh?

[@DJSTOEK]

😷😃

[@AshokTiwari-hz8ir]

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