A Narcissist Cant Love You Because of This

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

After 6 years, I can say I never met him. I never knew him. I only knew his ego. I was in a "relationship" with his ego for 6 years, and that was a horrible and tragic experience. He can keep his ego company now because I'm glad I'm free! Life has never been soooo good. I feel so happy, at peace and ease and good things are happening for me. Life without a narc is such a blessing.

[@Oceansgreen]

Here here.

[@MissReneeMichelle]

That's been the hardest truth to accept. My narcissist ex (and my narcissist father) are UNABLE to love me.

[@TheTerrylwg]

It's impossible for us Empaths to wrap our brains around.

[@Manusworldwideweb]

Don’t say MY narcissist ex, do not use the word my, it indicates possession. Had to learn this myself 😢

[@michelleking7215]

Me to 😢

[@GoWithDaFlowMo]

I'm just now coming to the conclusion my mother couldn't either... Sinse I'm a mother myself and the love I feel for my son is so deep and so real, I just can't understand how someone can't love their own child, I really can't... Quess that's why I always thought there was some love there, but she just had trouble expressing it or something, but if I'm looking at everything realistic I know she didn't and I always knew... I just didn't wanna believe it or something... Indeed such a harsh truth... My sister is one too, she broke of all contact with my father and me after our mom died, like we never existed... That stuff hurts..... 😢

[@karlataylor1172]

I get all this. What l still have trouble understanding is why they can't just leave me alone. He has made it abundantly clear that he doesn't want to be with me. Repeatedly. For YEARS......yet without fail....every single time he finds a new victima he comes back. It's emotionally exhausting. I don't want him either at this point l just want him to stop calling me and leave me in peace. To stop arriving here at all sorts of ungodly hours etc. He's beyond annoying. A bit like having a psychotic puppy or something. Driving me insane.

[@PaulineMei-m1h]

Yeap, it started from his narcissistic parents!

[@christinemunger7054]

My husband expressed gratitude, but it was only all about what I did for him

[@kimberlysweidy2670]

And he'll recant that gratitude and deny you ever did anything for him the SECOND it suits his narrative.

[@MajorieRoyal]

When you are so honest about yourself, those are the videos that help me the most. Thank you

[@ItsSoarTime]

um-huh! he's R-A-W!!!!!!

[@JesuisLord]

Be humble or be humbled, that spirit of pride will be brought down thank God , just do not wait around for it to happen and for their rock bottom

[@rebekahjette6304]

Learning to respond instead of reacting in relationships is very important.⚠️ Protect your peace🕊️and remember that reciprocity is paramount! No reciprocity, no real relationship. Above all--Stay safe!!!

[@ItsSoarTime]

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!! GONNA READ IT AT LEAST 2 MORE TIMES!!!!!!!!

[@ItsSoarTime]

GOTTA QUOTE THAT POWERFULLY STATED LAST PART IN ONE OF MY UPLOADS: "...reciprocity is paramount. no reciprocity. no real relationship." SWEET!!!!!

[@Daniela-vc1ik]

This is so true because when I was telling him he’s cheating and he denied it, he said that he hated me bc I kept accusing him of cheating (he was)

[@nostoppingit7243]

Why don't narcs understand that if they would just be honest with themselves, they could become as great as they think they are?

[@RawMotivations]

Right

[@winnieamar9368]

Exactly.

[@Topanga.]

This 👏

[@debbie4062]

This is your best video. Thank you for being so honest, putting it out there the way it really is. By accepting them, realizing that it’s their job to heal themselves and our job to heal ourselves. Hope is dope for the brain, we want a different ending for a childhood wound. Turn inward, you are the only one that can get to your inner child and heal them, no one else can get to them, only you. Your inner child only wants you. Debbie

[@ItsSoarTime]

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!! AND SO TRUE. that's why i created a playlist NOT to demonize them further, but to encourage them to HEAL THYSELF. AND for others to hopefully share the playlist with those they know with NPD or narcissistic traits. it's titled: HEAL the Narcissist with CPTSD.

[@megantimberman8218]

Absolutely! Best video yet! Needed it!!

[@TeresaCarol-k3w]

Im much happier finishing the relationship i can start to heal everyday im getting better

[@christopherstinebuck]

You are a beautiful person. Very wise and courageous to put yourself out there to spread real awareness. Keep up your good work. Do not stop doing what you are doing 🙂. You deserve much respect 👍

[@LjBrown-f6f]

Egos walls - so sad !... they miss out on true love! he lost me never to get me back! I'm worth So much more!

[@nostoppingit7243]

What a tragedy that those with the greatest capacity to love, empaths, end up with those incapable of loving, narcissists. My narc never had a truly loving relationship growing up so it made no sense to me that he would just throw away the love I offered him.

[@RawMotivations]

Start your healing journey and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence. join our free masterclass here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass

[@Oceansgreen]

I think it might be because they don’t know how to.. they were never shown what love is.

[@chilo597]

Everthing you say made me cry because its the truth. I left after the beatings but it still hurts

[@angiebrown6524]

Narcs hate being vulnerable

[@lisaz4411]

They’re messed up in the head

[@vickyjones8221]

This is an absolutely brilliant video Ben. The way you easily explain about the narcissist 'ego' in the way of loving someone, because the narcissist built his own wall, so not to be honest about himself. That the narcissist can't love you while the 'ego' is in the way! That he has this giant barrier 'ego' in the way to loving you. Only he constructed it, only he can tear it down. Just such a fantastic video, explained beautifully. Thank you so much Ben 💕

[@disdainfu1]

Anti-narcissism TRULY is gratitude!! I gave immense gratitude to my narc ex, sincerely too, despite IMMENSE emotional and physical pain after my first pregnancy and miscarriage, despite him showing TERRIBLE signs of infidelity. I thanked him for the gift of life and other reasons. We broke up as amicably as possible. The gratitude shut him down. He wasn't mean. If you are mature and treat them with maturity, maturity is hopefully what you will receive.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Theres ALWAYS been a huge wall between my husband and i

[@RandallGlatt]

Because they are detached from self. Have to love ❤️ ourselves first. Its not possible...

[@nicholecornes1915]

They put themselves first thats it!

[@ITSRAYANNNN]

Why does a controlling covert narcissist, call a submissive person controlling, and selfish and possessive for not wanting to get cheated on?

[@RawMotivations]

That's a great question! You can discover the answer by joining our free masterclass at www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

[@TruthBeTold0914]

​@RawMotivations Most people are looking for just a straight response and answer. Engage with your audience instead of pushing your program. You'd probably get more subs. But at the end of the day you're still a narc so it's about helping yourself.

[@CarolinaCarolina-ph9mx]

I can think of many things that demonstrate what you say, but one of the earliest and easiest to have detected was how he drove with me in the vehicle with him - recklessly. He rarely ever drove relaxed and carefully, but almost always aggressively, like he didn't care what happened to his passenger (me) as long as he was driving the way HE felt like driving - and lots of times he was adding some extra spice to his driving, I believe, to make the ride even more stressful for me. He would be very angry if I carefully and calmly tried to ask him to slow down, not ride the vehicle in front of him (however, he gets Very angry if another driver does that to him!), use the windshield wipers, etc. In fact, if I dared to try to speak up for my own safety, he would often become worse. He would proclaim his love to me, and claim to want to watch out for me and protect me, then literally put my life on the line when I rode in the vehicle with him. Years and years of this. All the 'I love you' proclamations yet showed up in a way that has likely permanently traumatized my nervous system with his risky behavior. That was never love. I was just something to sit in the vehicle beside him so he wouldn't be alone, not a PERSON he recognized as being an equal human being, and to be treated with care and respect. The cognitive dissonance they create in you is a real mind f-ker. For any of you ladies out there with a man that drives this way when you are in the car with them, this is a HUGE indicator of their lack of love and respect for you no matter what words leave their mouths. 😞

[@jmpjmpjmp]

Same!

[@GoWithDaFlowMo]

So incredibly relatable, exactly word for word the same happened to me... How crazy is that..... 😮

[@TwistedSisterK]

This is really powerful, thank you so much for sharing your story and journey, it really gets to the point. I absolutely agree - people have a choice: stay in an abusive r'ship or get out and work on self. Those who are meant to rise with us will do. Those who don't, one day perhaps they will but it's not our battle and we can't wait on potential. Perhaps we will meet them again one day, free of their limiting ego - only the fates know. Self-respect and healing is the most important thing. A r'ship should be a bonus in our life, NOT the reason for our happiness. Light and healing wishes to anyone who has been affected by another's darkness. Run like a mouse in the desert, far, far away!

[@caroleminke6116]

Just a toxic situation because you can’t have an adult relationship with a toddler mentality

[@TwistedSisterK]

@@caroleminke6116 totally

[@dodgerstone]

Holy Crap! Home Run !!!! This is Your Best Vid. to Date, Ben.

[@LEX3CUTE2]

I want to send this to him. Even though I know it wouldn’t change anything.

[@jimmcd5660]

We all do. And unfortunately I agree. Stay strong.

[@caroleminke6116]

Nope 🤦‍♀️ why try 🤷‍♀️ heal yourself ❤️‍🩹 go no contact plz ❤

[@kellyhiett]

This is such an amazing message. Listen to Ben people! I have finally, after 3 years of a toxic relationship with a covert narcissist, come to this truthful understanding. Yes, the realization is completely painful... but it is what it is. I broke free, then let him back in falling for the hoovering. While a few things changed (which fouled me), the main issues remained, for which I now regret tremendously for letting him back in. Thank you Ben for putting this out there. I am broken hearted, but will rise from being broken.

[@RawMotivations]

Would love to help you rise. Come work with me inside of my new challenge here: www.rawmotivations.com/survivor

[@marcosiviero494]

A content to be showed in every school of the world. Thank you. This one was difficult to record…wasn’t it? I believe you still can’t feel real love (not that’s something easy even for those that don’t have a personality disturb) the way you would like to feel it…still a big transformation, apparently. Well done. Hope Biancamaria could follow such a path as yours sooner or later ❤

[@1curlygyrl]

It feels like he occasionally get mean towards me bc he can’t control his love for me. He supports and go over and beyond to do for me….but get irritated for no reason and say I ganster him😢

[@BeTheLight624]

Thank you for sharing the narc viewpoint side of this, it really helped.

[@charliewilliams3826]

This video is raw and real. And deeply sad.

[@v4756nb1rs]

This is really helpful. Thanks for being honest about how narcs think -- mine, unfortunately, does not want to change. The insight on how/why narcs are so dreadfully bad at feelings and why he's always been so miserable and anti-joy/happiness is really helpful. It's been ten years of abuse and I can't take it anymore. Thanks for reaffirming and validating that.

[@lucyLou-dt7do]

What’s awful and I think has shown me that my partner is a narcissist is…..he has actually said he hates me and he can’t stand the sight of me..I then ask why are you still here and the response is well I love and care for you!!so confusing.

[@GoWithDaFlowMo]

Mine said he didn't hate me but himself and can't look at himself in the mirror... But his actions sure did scream hate at times, saw it in his eyes too, looked at me with such coldness... I quess they project their self hatred onto us... Especially when we're happy or getting attention... They're so envious and dark, ofcourse they hate our realness and light... They can never be that..... 😅

[@lyareys5434]

Wonderful job you're doing by being that honest.

[@RawMotivations]

We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

[@TeresaCarol-k3w]

Ego narcissist need to watch this video

[@hestercastlemansa2976]

It's just so sad.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Listen to him!

[@TheEarthPriestessTarot]

This video is a huge wake up for me😳 THANK YOUU😭❤️❤️

[@Alive20244]

Thats crazy I told him that it was his ego. And he said "Maby i earned it" he said he earned his ego. He is happy with it.even though it hurts the ones that love him

[@pamelapayne5285]

Thank you all true now l know

[@caroleminke6116]

My mother & father both narcs as well as my partners so it’s sad 🤦‍♀️ what to do? 🤷‍♀️ I’ve had to give up on just about everyone in my life ❤️‍🩹

[@TeresaCarol-k3w]

Thankyou ben your awareness is so true .

[@jaialaiwarrior]

I think this is your best one yet. Good work.

[@Honeypepper.]

9:40 to end. Well said sir.

[@GoWithDaFlowMo]

I think they do wanna love us, but just don't know how... I've seen my ex struggling with that... Not the taking it part, he had no trouble with that..... 😅

[@ItsSoarTime]

yeah. as soon as i catch my breath i'm adding this one to my HEAL the Narcissist with CPTSD playlist. THIS TIME i knew better than to try and get through one of his videos WITHOUT eating something first or eating while watching BECAUSE the RAW delivery is usually too much for me to handle WITHOUT food, THOUGH i NEED it RAW!!

[@melissafoster9701]

He's in love with alcohol

[@tmichele8922]

I said that to the ex narc . He could drink a case of beer like it was nothing

[@LilyFisher4]

It is very common for narcissists to develop addictions.

[@caroleminke6116]

Or sex or drugs or cash or gambling or…

[@ChelleMEis]

Gratitude.

[@Cathy-li8hr]

Please help me

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you for your comment here is the link www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

[@yuansandoval-u1b]

Thanks so much., you are so raw. God bless your soul.

[@RawMotivations]

You too!

[@debbiewilliams1083]

Amazing Video!!!

[@RawMotivations]

I'm happy to hear that you're finding our content valuable! I'd like to extend an invitation for you to join our free masterclass. In it, we'll explore methods for breaking free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

[@megantimberman8218]

I needed this talk! Thank you Ben!

[@Alive20244]

Ur so smart. Thankyou

[@kimb7970]

Thanks Ben

[@susanrainville7834]

All he said was I care for you , never I love you cause he was getting free rent and me helping him build 2 apts for free. He only cared what I could do for him period.

[@sallyarrison9726]

Thankyou!

[@LEX3CUTE2]

😩

[@nicholecornes1915]

Damm...... yeah my husbands never going to do that shit! You need to leave. Theres nothing to like about them !

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you for the comment, here's the link www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

[@nicholecornes1915]

@RawMotivations thank you for SAVING OUR LIVES!!! 🙏 love you ben! My husbands mad because I broke the trama bond now hes ramping up the abuse from afar

[@tranquility9325]

Most ppl don't think of this aspect... but experts have studied the brain of narcissists and have discovered extensive brain damage. The pre frontal cortex, the amygdala, the hippocampus are damaged in addition to the anterior insular cortex (which is responsible for empathy,) is extremely thin in the narcissistic brain. I did a video on this topic; kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z3-QhnuOm69-aNE

[@Honeypepper.]

...because of covetousness, because of selfishness which is the opposite of love, and lets call it what it really is shall we! Because of PRIDE

[@ric5403]

Im only just beginning to understand this. I lived in hope and for chamge for years, but it's never going to happen.

[@meloneymoore8856]

Thank you for explaining this ❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon

[@dcikaruga]

Isn't love egotistical though? Even people view their children egotistically, perhaps not to the extreme as a narcissit though.

[@RawMotivations]

How is love egotistical?

[@dcikaruga]

@@RawMotivations You often see any extension of yourslef in your partner, even your children, hopes and amibtions, charatcer traits and habits you value.

[@Chris-jo8tm]

You’re making me sad near the here.

[@slshack00]

I see the mask. I want out so bad but i am terrified bc so much has chnaged since ive been with him. My kids are all grown and are out on their own so i will be completely alone for the first time in my life if i leave him. Its been so long since ive worked that im self conscious about getting a job even if i could without him interfering in some way. Ive lost all of my friends bc he has isolated me from everyone including my family that i talk to over the phone more than i see them. I have no relationship with my oldest 2 children bc they hate him and i have a granddaughter that doesnt even know me bc of it. I never leave the house without him bc i get accused of cheating on him every time i have left the house without him. Now im to the point where i get extreme anxiety whenever i do have to go out alone. And now since i have anxiety about it and dont want to leave the house hes telling me i need to suck it up, youre a big girl you'll be fine. Gets mad at me bc rust collects on the breaks of my car bc i dont go anywhere but then starts a fight whenever i do leave just to pick up groceries. I cant win now matter what i do. Hes cheated on me several times but has had my phone # changed so that i no longer ha e access to my emails or my cloud where all the evidence was. Hacked my emails to change my passwords before he changed my #. Hacked all of my old social media accounts and deleted them. I lost everything that I had left of my brother that passed away the year before. He denies having done any of those things but there is no one else that could have changed my # or hacked into all of my accounts. He went that far with no care of me just to cover his own ass. He blames me grieving my brother for his cheating. Said i wasnt there. He just didnt finish the sentence i wasnt there...for him! I have never in my life felt so much hatred and have so much resentment for someone in my life. But i can't get up the guts to leave bc even after all of that he is still my security my safe place in a sense as sick as that sounds. Ugh! I am so lost and so not the woman i was before i met and fell for his nightmarish lifestyle of lies and his deceitful ways. Ive never posted about this before so sorry for the length as i am not sure how to explain it all in short hand.

[@RawMotivations]

Appreciate you sharing your story. It must have been really tough. I'd love to invite you to our free masterclass where you can learn how to break free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

[@hopto-it2609]

@slshack00 Lexapro is great for anxiety and panic attacks, you will feel like a new person ((((hugs)))) ...... I've been there.

[@kathleenstoin671]

You really, really need to speak more slowly and distinctly.

[@DNCT]

I have hearing problems and I can still hear him just fine. Maybe it’s your ears or your speakers. It’s definitely not him. In fact there’s also construction 🚧 outside my window and I can still hear him.

[@kimberlysweidy2670]

Change the playback speed to suit your individual needs.

[@kathleenstoin671]

@kimberlysweidy2670 That doesn't solve the problem. He needs to enunciate.

[@kimberlysweidy2670]

@@kathleenstoin671 Respectfully, there is nothing wrong with his enunciation. I have now listened at various speeds, including double speed (which I prefer). Kindly explore other explanations.

[@ItsSoarTime]

@@kimberlysweidy2670 i'm with you!!!! and i only listened at the default speed. WHY would anyone complain about this valuable, FREE content THAT'S COMING DIRECTLY FROM THE HEART!!!!!!????? and can/will help/is helping MANY to understand...recover...heal!!!! but, then, SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, ALWAYS FINDS SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT INSTEAD OF CHOOSING TO SHOW GRATITUDE INSTEAD!!! and wouldn't it have been more...decent...to contact him privately with this UNNECESSARY suggestion? smh. YOU'RE DOING FINE, MR. R-A-W!!!!!! YOU ARE DOING EXCELLENTLY!!!!!!!!