A Psychologist's Thoughts On Love and Marriage-Orion Taraban, Psy.D. (Part 1)

[@thedisgruntledcubicleworker]

After reading many of these ridiculous comments under this video shows me that many of you fantasyland idealists didn’t hear this part -> 43:49 “The knowledge that we’re looking for is awareness for how reality actually works. Not how we want it to work…not how we think it should work…not how our society tells us it’s supposed to look, but how it actually works. Because if we can understand the principles and the laws by which reality operates, we can flow with those currents, and we won’t be vulnerable when we’re out on the open sea” - Orion This is as real as it gets…

[@plantypittsburgh]

Because we should devolve into our base desires (though Orion here hardly gets even that correct) and accept that we should manipulate each other into relationships- long term or otherwise? That's ridiculous. You've given the President Snow argument from the Hunger Games-- that's how ridiculous it is-- that's how much of a stereotypical douche this guy is. He's using the argument of a YA villain.

[@DrMarvel562]

@soft white underbelly. What exactly drew you to this Orion guy? Interviewing him for over two hours, trying to defend him etc. How is he any different from the manosphere guys?

[@jc81754]

“ridiculous comments” “fantasyland idealists” @TheDisgruntledCubicleWorker I don’t know you. I have no desire to contend with you. I can relate to the temptation of choosing cynicism, believing it will provide protection. I have compassion for you so I will tell you what you need to hear instead of what you might want to hear… The glass half-empty mindset you are adopting will eventually yield more fear, confusion, doubt, isolation, mistrust, distress, anger, bitterness, and a dark blindness that causes even the most intelligent people to reject the very things that provide nourishment, growth, safety, and peace. Whether you think that truly marvelous people exist in your future or you think your doom is almost inevitable, either way you’re right. How you choose to look at that glass of water will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Your world” will change when you decide to exercise the courage necessary to take full ownership and responsibility for “your world.”

[@CustomBPS]

In your world view. As people have pointed out to me, there are other realities where this point of view seems horribly paranoid and self defeating.

[@greymattermelanin876]

sounds like you’re mad that the SWU audience isn’t a bunch of incels that didn’t grow up with a father so hang on to your every word.

[@aimee-made]

I have women friends who've fallen terribly ill with cancer - lost their breasts, endured the ravages of multiple rounds of chemo, etc - and their husbands stayed with them and loved them through their grave illness. If the only thing keeping a man around a particular woman is that she's sexy and puts out, what a miserable, shallow existence. It's not just about money, status, or sex. Real relationships are much more complicated.

[@Evil-Rod-Farva]

It’s still transactional. That man is getting some value from that woman and those values can change with time. Same for women. That said, no healthy man is starting a relationship with a woman if sex isn’t involved. No healthy woman is starting a relationship with a lazy and ineffective man.

[@dawnsky11]

I agree! I think most long term relationships and marriages eventually get to the point where it’s not about “you” or “me”, but rather about “us”. Our society is too self centered to understand that.

[@caleb5688]

I think he was talking more about getting their foot in the door after which they can integrate themselves with his life and feelings (like deeper than sexual) will develop. I think another thing tho that he didn't mention is there are so many less places to naturally meet men. So of course sex is the main tool to attract them bc it's what you can easily show on a dating app.

[@dawnsky11]

@@caleb5688 True. I’m so glad I don’t have to date now. Seems exhausting. I’ve been married 16 years…

[@rogerteaminski6351]

Thats not what he said lol.

[@Poochiepoochie54321]

I met my husband over 20 yrs ago when he was a dish washer. We fell in love and the rest is history. There have been times when I was the breadwinner and other times when he is. (Now I stay home with our baby son and he works) I'm thankful I never gave a rat's ass about any of these games. We work hard together and lean on eachother for friendship and guidance. Thank God for good men!!

[@Ascension_3030]

good for you, congrats. Todays dating scene, is nothing like it was 20 years ago or even 10 years ago

[@kinfe567]

I believe it is u guys who would be best to give advice. What would be ur biggest tip on finding a good partner in life?

[@taramei-leewagstaff9332]

Same with us. We’ve been married almost a decade & got married after 9 months of knowing each other. I’ve always made more $ and hubby has done more childcare 🤷🏻‍♀️. Hubby is GORGEOUS ( now in a career and also a personal trainer & CrossFit coach on the side) - and for me: physical attraction has always the leading factor.

[@taramei-leewagstaff9332]

@@kinfe567: for me it was “find them at church”

[@Poochiepoochie54321]

@@kinfe567 The only thing that keeps a man is a man who wants to be kept. There's no theory.

[@maxroy5246]

Last year I went through a phase of listening to this guy, and while he makes some logical points, the biggest effect his words had on me was making me feel suspicious towards my loving, supportive wife. His perspective encouraged me to resent working to provide our family with the stability we need in order to grow. At the end of the day, it’s your own choice whether you reside in the worldview Dr Taraban spins. Remember that he has a target audience, and maybe you’re not it. If you have high goals and morals, don’t be swayed by anyone who leads you toward bitterness

[@eryngi1462]

Yeah I used to listen to him too, I learnt to take the good and leave the bad

[@Ascension_3030]

truth comes at a cost, but not nearly as high as attempting to hide form it

[@julianrudert7779]

What do you mean with „high goals and morals?“. I am genuinely curious. What is it that he says that leaves someone with less of a goof moral code in your oppinion?

[@DynamicUnreal]

Just because you understand that part of the reason your wife loves you is because you provide a good life for her and the kids, doesn’t mean that you have to resent her for it. She was born a woman, she was hardwired to see the world that way, it’s not her fault.

[@kristinrichmond8185]

“ don’t be swayed by anyone who leads you toward bitterness “ wise words.

[@GLADIATOR-tz7yt]

It's been three years since I retired, and while inflation has made it tough to maintain my lifestyle especially when I was living in the city relocating to the countryside has helped me manage things better. Being divorced, it’s been a bit lonely with most of my friends and family still caught up in their routines. But out here, it's been easier to stretch my savings, and I’ve come to appreciate the slower pace. It’s not for everyone, but it’s worked for me so far, and hopefully, I won’t outlive what I’ve set aside

[@RobertNoppers]

I’m nearing retirement myself, and I had similar concerns. I started investing later than most, and just relying on ETF compounding wasn’t cutting it for me. After working with a financial advisor, I managed to restructure my investments and am now on track to retire with around $4 million. If I hadn’t sought advice, I doubt I’d be as confident in my plan right now

[@GLADIATOR-tz7yt]

I’m trying to figure out the best approach for my portfolio. How did you find your advisor? I feel like I need that kind of guidance

[@RobertNoppers]

I usually steer clear of recommending specific people because financial needs are so personal. But I can say that working with Emily Ava Milligan has made a world of difference for me. I noticed her strategies are tailored to fit personal goals and make sense for different needs. It might be worth exploring to see if her approach resonates with you

[@GLADIATOR-tz7yt]

Thanks for that. I did a quick search and found her page. I was able to email so I sent over a few questions to get more info. Appreciate you sharing

[@MarjorieRyanJoy]

Many people have similar concerns. Take care

[@carried98]

Keep in mind that psychologists don't usually get people in their practice who are good at relationships.

[@breadman32398]

Doctors don't get many healthy people in. Don't take a doctor's advice. /s

[@BillyAltDel]

A better description title of the video should be "A psychologist's thoughts on toxic people in relationships."

[@garethmorgan3665]

@Carried 98True 😂😂

[@richardcastleman4894]

Statistically, most are not

[@elainer8288]

​@@BillyAltDel Excellent comment.

[@tjjones-xj7kq]

As a man I can say I'm not looking for a woman who puts out right away. I learned early on once sex is involved you can skip over a lot of warning signs. Sex is important after a deep connection is reached. Sex early on feels cheap to me. She can look like a movie star and "turn my brain to goo" but if she isn't empathetic and kind her value tanks.

[@rosieposie9564]

As a conservative woman, I am pleased to hear that because this video gave the impression that you almost have to out slut other women to be in with a chance to have a man.

[@elainer8288]

Finally someone with common sense. Great comment.

[@aysiarogina5741]

THANK YOU!

[@evoz4489]

Fellow guy here. Couldn't agree more. I also think sex is sacred. I'm not religious but do have a moral compass. It's the way we are able to exist. It shouldn't be taken lightly. We are not animals. A woman will ONLY earn her place in my bed if she can show me who she truly is first.

[@stagebloq6002]

@@elainer8288 that’s not common sense. Hes explaining his values. Hook up culture is real.

[@mikemcleod7816]

As a father of four kids this interview made me sad. I feel sorry for the current generation and the future that lies ahead of them. At least as far as relationships are concerned. Our society is plummeting.

[@DarkestTikTok]

Beyond help. It can't continue to exist in any form recognizable within several years.

[@cosmickinks]

It's definitely like how he describes in general, but UNDOUBTEDLY not how it needs to be, as he claims. There's plenty of good ppl still, it's just harder to find. No one needs to sell themselves as someone they're not to get a relationship. And if they do, it'll never be based in love. Sad analysis this man has and it's sadder that Mark is agreeing and propagating. Sounds like he's got some issues he's trying to normalize himself.

[@monjiaitaly]

@mikemcleod7816 There is a remedy for this, its called suffering. Either you experience it in time and it doesn't destroy you or you are put in circumstances beyond your control. Suffering will bring you closer to God and realize what is important and what is not. I feel the world is headed for a great deal of suffering if we stay on this present trajectory of global tyranny.

[@lostvayne9146]

you live blissfully ignorant. Which is why you could feel sorry for those that woke up.

[@pulp9821]

As a person in their 20’s, it’s really not as bleak and transactional as he makes it out to be. I think his insights come from observing people with dysfunctional relationship patterns, i.e. the ones who seek psychological help.

[@ronaldgreenstein2925]

What I gather from this presentation is that Orion places great value on the fulfillment of lust for the men and greed for the women. I don't that as reality but rather a superficial and delusional social paradigm. While it sounds practical to compete in this CULTure, it has little to offer a life of peace, long term happiness, and purity. "The most practical thing to do in the world is to be spiritually-minded." The spiritual masters and teachers guide those who are moved and attracted to their love and wisdom, which is so often unconventional and requires courage and determination. There is a choice to be made and the experiences of the consequences of making.

[@victoriapowell6318]

Young people today are NOT "spiritually minded"; and as time goes on it becomes harder and harder to raise a child that is "spiritually minded".

[@ciobalina7445]

@@victoriapowell6318 That is only your perception. Besides, young people tend to be more narcissistic and superficial in general, but as they get older, they mature and change their view of the world and their values. I also changed, others I know became better people too. Negative isn't good for the mind.

[@knowledgelibrary1141]

@@ciobalina7445 Fair enough, anyone can change. But people rack up issues in their youth that compromises their ability to be in a relationship down the line irrespective of you changing.

[@timsimmons9995]

The eternal optimists here have their head in the sand! The national statistics don't lie. Marriage rates are the lowest in 4 generations. For those so deeply in love who commit by sworn oath to be together forever before God and country, go through expensive ceremonies with all family and friends as witness to their everlasting love, daring enough to marry, divorce rates are a coin toss. Only an estimated 5-15% of marriage people report being happy... Marriage is an outdated useless antique offering no benefits and all risks for men...

[@70qq]

everyone is entitled to their own opinion ... but in my experience asking many men and women questions similar to these , it seems pretty accurate ... women i respect and care for have answered these questions in ways that have blown me away ... these women let me know they expect a man to pay for dinner , hold a door for them , make more money than them , be taller than them , wait for sex that may not be worth it , and plenty of other things that dont jive with them being treated as an equal in my opinion ..... its like women want chivalry from the 1950's , but ALSO all the benefits women enjoy in 2024 ... im "just" a woman when it benefits me , so treat me like one ...and i'm youre "equal" when i want benefits a man usually enjoys like not doing housework or grocery shopping"

[@JMGENTERPRISES]

I've been single for a couple years now and I have to say I am happier than I have ever been.

[@yuordreams]

It wasn't until I became really happy with being single that I met the healthy and kind, loving man that became my partner.

[@37Atown]

We are not built to be alone . I hope you find someone to be with in the future. I enjoy spooning just imagine someone behind you showing affection ❤️💯.IT FEELS GOOOD

[@lisapizza6494]

Amen

[@ThrifterPicker]

I have been for many years and can’t imagine ever wanting to be in a relationship again.

[@matt_milack]

Do you have sex?

[@CustomBPS]

I've been married for 26 years, never cheated and am totally happy. I did this by consciously NOT following this kind of advice. I pursued my wife for a year before the relationship got sexual. Before, I lived by this advice and all I got were a chain of damaged women. Find a woman with a strong sense of self worth and boundaries and develop them yourself. The approach he's talking about brought me 20 years of misery. It's cynical, transactional and, unhealthy.

[@gustavosoto4607]

Times have changed in the last 26 years.

[@CustomBPS]

@@gustavosoto4607 Um..I dunno. This stuff is not new. Lots of women used the good doctor's strategy quite aggressively in the 70's, 80's and 90's. I experienced many of them personally. Easy early sex that overtime became pleas for commitment and family. Most women found the men they laid down for almost never went to the next step. And many of those men that did, felt trapped, leading to unhappy marriages and divorces. After a number of lather - rinse - repeat cycles, many of these women became very disillusioned and hard -or- impossible basket cases. And before you say that it was harder to have sex in those times; it wasn't. It's harder now. Now, you have to complete an evaluation process on social media or an app. Back then, it was a conversation, face to face, in a grocery line or in the park or over a drink. Maybe there wasn't a 'sexual marketplace' but there was plenty of sex in stock. The real point is, if you want honesty and trust, you have to give it. There are still people out there who don't see human interactions as a market. The human race is fucked if everything is reduced to a trading mentality.

[@pazzodi3]

Your story is yours. It won't work for everyone else. The rest of us would have to look into your world and see if it's anything the rest of us would even want. Probably the high majority of men would not want your life. To the rest of us looking into your life could possible look like misery. But that's ok. If it makes you happy then continue. Your happiness isn't everyone else's happiness.

[@Alexxx492]

It's worked great for me! I subscribed to his channel around six months ago and applied his three techniques on "getting any man you want." The results have been amazing-my boyfriend is deeply in love with me, and I believe a proposal might be on the horizon. Thanks to Dr. O!

[@sarahdawnmoore]

This. Amen.

[@babasingh6606]

As a psychologist myself, I'll just say that if any of you want to be in a fulfilling relationship, listen to everything this guy is saying... but don't forget that the purpose of your relationship is to rise above all that. He's talking about the game, not the winnings.

[@jammie2475]

Sorry not going to be nasty slut to attract a man. If a man needs that to gain interest, then I guess I’m not attracted to men anymore.

[@SMcGrath01]

💯%!!! I’m no psychologist but the demoralised society we live in takes away from the end game these days due to women holding the keys to sex and handing it out so easily because they want sex and trying to have their cake and eat it too and by proxy lowering their value. In disrespecting themselves they disrespect their man and the value they hold they hold. No man wants a women who’s been ridden like a train and their behaviours determine how they respect a man and the relationship, status and lifestyle he offers for procreation with a woman.

[@withlovenyx]

There is no winning in that game. Too much adversity with no rewards but more pain. Not motivating.

[@Tokyofart]

There are no winnings, just institutionalization for those who seek it 😂

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@Chad_Max What you say in your comment used to be true. For the most part it no longer is. The world has changed a lot. Court systems have also changed a lot. Also, more women are taking better care of themselves, so the events mentioned in your comment have much less significance. If you believe that women become less desirable with age, that's such a woman hater comment. Keep in mind that guys age, too. Their bodies stop working as it did in their younger years, at an earlier age now more than ever. Many more guys are dealing with infertility, erectile dysfunction, prostate cancer, prostate enlargement, more than ever before in history. If you think women profit from divorce, think again. When a woman divorces, most of the time, her income drops dramatically, most often people who she thought were her friends desert her. She is viewed as more of a sexual person than she actually is, by men who are single and married. There is no man to stop them from approaching her. Also, her children are more likely to estrange themselves from her when they become adults. It would be of some benefit to rethink that which was 10 - 20 years ago vs how it is in 2024.

[@skate4life2001]

I’m a recently single after 30 years of marriage. This video made me very afraid of what’s expected for me to have a relationship in this era. I’m extremely grateful I scrolled through the comments, to see I’m not crazy.

[@timsimmons9995]

The eternal optimists here have their head in the sand! The national statistics don't lie. Marriage rates are the lowest in 4 generations. For those so deeply in love who commit by sworn oath to be together forever before God and country, go through expensive ceremonies with all family and friends as witness to their everlasting love, daring enough to marry, divorce rates are a coin toss. Only an estimated 5-15% of marriage people report being happy... Marriage is an outdated useless antique offering no benefits and all risks for men...

[@valdius85]

I’m 10 years in, from completely different culture. Still, most of what he said applies to me and most people I’ve spoken with. I think you miss the point of “expected”. Don’t you want these things for yourself, as a men. O’s description of what women find attractive simply requires men to get their sh together. Whether an individual decides to pursue a woman is his choice, but his life would still be better.

[@energization]

Yeah, me too! I trust myself, because I am willing to learn and grow and consider all possibilities.

[@SusanLamprell]

This man is a complete atheist who thinks we are all sex driven animals...what a fuck

[@kayremoob9579]

Guy is targeting a deregulated marketplace. Which is what women wanted. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

[@MF.MetalDetectingGuy]

This is a great example of why getting GOOD help with mental health is so difficult.

[@1200JML]

😂

[@astralfluxaf]

That part 😂

[@jessicajennifer9827]

Dayum 😅😅😅

[@besscox3336]

Haha. Idiotic viewpoints

[@jasonolinger7585]

lol

[@shameronstar7220]

What I’ve learned from this video and the comments is that women definitely don’t like being generalized.

[@thematriarchy2075]

No one likes that.

[@Pangaea83]

😂😂😂

[@higgaroc]

Honestly no one does!

[@shancakes]

True that! And the fact that you have the ability to observe that and take note (i.e., empathy) means you are light years ahead of 99% of the men in the comments. 🩷

[@CassieBee88]

It’s funny you say this because the woman that Mark had on last week had a bunch of angry men in the comments, and I couldn’t figure it out. She was completely on the men’s side the whole time EXCEPT for her thoughts on porn. She was singing their praises and they still couldn’t get past the porn part.

[@exnihilo415]

If I actually believed relationships were like the way he describes them, I would rather live and die alone.

[@michaelweyenberg6238]

It's true for the most part. There are major consessions to be made in any successful relationship.

[@Chameleon_daddi]

It's modern life bro. Marry abroad, or stay single. American relationships are phuuuucked

[@exnihilo415]

@@michaelweyenberg6238 It in fact is mostly not true. This talk is not about concessions. It’s a hellscape of zero sum game theory and transactional emotional sexwork. He’s simply smart enough to play and profit from playing the role of the red pill intelligentsia high priest who gins up and riles up the base of bitter, fearful and jaded men to maximize billable hours with this populist dystopic blackpill nonsense.

[@exnihilo415]

@@michaelweyenberg6238 It in fact is mostly not true. This talk is not about concessions. It’s a hellscape of zero sum game theory and transactional emotional sexwork.

[@exnihilo415]

@@michaelweyenberg6238 He’s simply smart enough to play and profit from playing the role of the red pill intelligentsia high priest who gins up and riles up the base of bitter, fearful and jaded men to maximize billable hours with this populist dystopic blackpill nonsense.

[@michaelcriger6359]

Thank god for all the reasonable comments below. Listening to this guy was making me think I was off my rocker because nothing he said made the slightest bit of sense even though he spoke with confidence. I think he is speaking to and about extremely shallow folk (who, admittedly, might be the majority). I read the pinned comment, and I still think what this guy says is the furthest thing from reality for a great number of people.

[@timsimmons9995]

The eternal optimists here have their head in the sand! The national statistics don't lie. Marriage rates are the lowest in 4 generations. For those so deeply in love who commit by sworn oath to be together forever before God and country, go through expensive ceremonies with all family and friends as witness to their everlasting love, daring enough to marry, divorce rates are a coin toss. Only an estimated 5-15% of marriage people report being happy... Marriage is an outdated useless antique offering no benefits and all risks for men...

[@olyaprokopets2752]

He is whack, and completely delusional

[@bluedaisy211]

Agree!

[@klown463]

Yes, you got it correct. At least 50% of people view love this way, as conditional. There are exceptions, but this is the way it is for those of us that didn’t find love in school

[@_Marina]

Just for the record - me liking your comment, was the 100th one. 😂💯

[@mothmustardseed1858]

I dated a man who followed all of this therapist’s teachings. He was financially successful, acted confident, and never “gave in” when I was upset. We had amazing sex, I cooked for him, and let him lead the relationship. I ultimately left him because I was so miserable and lonely. His demands on me were exhausting, I felt like I had to constantly “perform” for him and could never have an off day. When I tried to express this to him he didn’t care and wouldn’t change. One day I asked myself “why am I breaking myself to please a man who would never do the same for me?” If I married him sure, I’d have a nice house and nice things… but I’d basically be a live-in bang maid. And the moment I couldn’t fulfill that role… I’d be out. There was no love in that relationship. Ladies, don’t fall victim to this sad worldview. It will only hurt you in the end.

[@Chrono826]

There's a lot of women out there who view men similarly. The moment he loses his source of income and cant provide everything you listed, he's out. He feels the same way you do in that he has to perform a role. What SHOULD be the arrangement of a relationship between a man and a woman?

[@mothmustardseed1858]

@@Chrono826 I agree that many women see relationships as a meal ticket, and that's just as sad! The best relationships I've seen seem to be based on mutual admiration and support. Both members admire things about their partners (their intellect, kindness, adventurous spirit) both enjoy spending quality time with one another, and both feel fulfilled when they can support their partner in times of need (example: my mom was the breadwinner of the family while my dad finished school. My dad cared for my mom after her heart attack). I think the best way to find love for both men AND women is to seek out someone who you really admire, and who makes you feel good about yourself when you're around them :)

[@Chrono826]

@@mothmustardseed1858 The problem with that is women by nature are hypergamous. When a man admires a woman it's seen as putting her on a pedestal, she loses respect and admiration for him, and begins to feel like she can do better. It's never been a easier time to dispose of a relationship for a new one. How do you suppose a man admires a woman without putting her on a pedestal? You haven't experienced that as a man.

[@mothmustardseed1858]

@@Chrono826 I'm sorry you've experienced women treating you badly when you treated them well. But you can appreciate and praise traits in your partner without "putting them on a pedestal" and thereby devaluing yourself. That's what it means to show someone you love them. Sure, women don't want a partner who caters to their every whim and has no boundaries, but we like feeling appreciated and wanted. When a man I care about shows affection toward me, it makes my heart light up and makes me want to be around him more

[@Chrono826]

@@mothmustardseed1858 Thanks. I appreciate it. I know I'm not alone when I say that men are frustrated with it all. Not saying you do it, but a lot of these women play games with their own and men's emotions in an attempt to get what they think they want right now and it's forcing us men to react and treat them more harshly in response in the long term. I struggle with how exactly women SHOULD be treated when all my life I was told men and women are equal and they deserve respect up until the bill comes or there's some benefit they can get out of something.

[@afoolsjourney4444]

Women want to feel safe .. but I’m old and I think it boils down to feeling safe with a person who has your best interest at heart .. social media wretched our perceptions

[@lisapizza6494]

I'm old too, and so happy to have grown up in the times that I did. No social media 😊

[@Dshlit]

No they don't, 80% of divorces are initiated by women, the most common reasons being "I'm bored".

[@astralfluxaf]

I’m so sick of seeing these stupid in depth ridiculous videos explaining how to essentially manipulate women… LIKE HELLO BROS THATS NOT WHAT WE WANT- All these damn Andrew Tates completely confusing the shit out of young and old men… Womens needs are way more basic than what any of these fools say. Just be a good person, have emotional depth, and just like you said BE SAFE TO BE AROUND. but no they’d rather manipulate us and use all these ridiculous tactics that simply won’t work long term… it might work for a few nights but it will always end painfully. I’m so sick of this toxic advice just being EVERYWHERE you look especially if you’re a young man. 🤦‍♀️

[@tinasmith7630]

TRUST.

[@sogcig]

@@Dshlit well think about it, with more context that could be a valid reason

[@Gwynn-n4r]

As a trauma therapist of 30+ years I've found that many people have a very skewed understanding of what love really means. Men don't "fall in love" with strippers and prostitutes like a drug...they may become consumed by lust, endorphins, and adrenaline highs, but love? No. Neither do all men fall into this stereotype. I've worked with countless men and women who qualify various trauma responses, compulsions or addictions as "love," because they don't have a frame of reference for what they're really experiencing. Regardless of one's spiritual faith (or lack thereof), 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible perfectly encapsulates the definition of authentic love, both for oneself and others.

[@craigslist6988]

why'd you have to tack a bible reference 🤮 onto an otherwise good comment...

[@Gwynn-n4r]

@@craigslist6988 lol I knew someone would say that! Truth is truth...and in all my years of searching it's the only single passage I've found that describes the concept of love perfectly. Trust me, I've searched elsewhere. 😉

[@valsolomon]

Well said. A woman may be able to have sex with whomever she wants, but she can not have a healthy relationship with whomever she wants.

[@valsolomon]

Is he too old to know about Tinder? How many Tinder hook ups lead to loving, faithful, long term relationships?

[@laurieblanchard1171]

​@craigslist6988 because the biblical explanation of love is accurate, whether a person is a Christian or not. There are universal truths found in religious theology and philosophy and you don't have to be a believer of that faith to recognize that. And people are allowed to be themselves in their comments. Don't be a douche trying to control others. Take what resonates with you, and leave what doesn't. That's what all people do throughout life. Nobody asked for your judgement (hence your abusive emoji).

[@hyphenizm]

"Successful men are men that other people want things from." This resonates with me as someone who is moderately successful in life. I rented out my house and moved abroad. It's truly eye opening how little the satellite "friends" are quick to leave you out of conversations, travel plans or even text you to say hello when you have nothing to provide for them anymore.

[@jessicamadrid5799]

As a women this message makes me feel terrible! I asked my husband if this was true and he said it is an extreme and primal view. He said he fell in love with me because of my heart and my morals. He said he wanted a quality woman.

[@nlocnil3602]

Every man falls in love for all the other reasons. This man is speaking about seeking out a mate and courting at a primal level. A man won't fall in love because of sex but attraction is important and understanding how to use it to get the most ideal mate is precisely what this guy is speaking about.

[@dekev7503]

You shouldn’t expect an objective and honest answer from your husband on such a question/topic, naturally he’s going to tell you what he thinks you want to hear ( if that happens to be the truth then good for you)

[@3Torts]

...men/husbands definitely never lie to women.

[@jsmanuel9567]

@@dekev7503you’re right!

[@deficator750]

your husband is good at lying

[@isabelleboulay2651]

He's talking about the game of seduction. Some people remain at this phase without ever really experiencing shared vulnerability. Someone might get past this stage and allow the vulnerability of attachment while their partner won't. For the relationship to bond past this, both partners have to be willing to care, be vulnerable and invest in mutual love. If people remain in seduction, it becomes manipulation in the long term. If you care about and love someone, you stop playing and don't want to manipulate. What you want is to know the person, care for their vulnerable side while encouraging their strengths. It takes courage and respect to balance this together. Those who don't feel it can get there are never letting themselves feel vulnerable so all they know is manipulation. This is the reality. If you add the multiple dysfunctional homes many grew up in, it makes it difficult to find someone who can get past the manipulation stage. This first stage of flirting is manipulation to show what we think will be most appreciated. This is normal at the beginning. What isn't normal is to remain there to try to get what you want and thinking of who's going to be next when this no longer works or isn't exciting enough compared to what's next. This is about never intending to invest below the surface. Any couple I've seen worth calling a couple were both invested in much more than the superficial. I've had 2 such experiences and have had a chance to compare to other ones that were not. This speaker has seen those who are counting on the transactional part only of the exchange to maintain a relationship. Without genuine self investment or shared vulnerability, the fragile original attraction will end and the relationship doesn't continue. Think about anything you may have done and invested of yourself into that brought strong feelings of joy, accomplishment or sadness and pain in your life. I can assure you that strength the feeling of joy or sadness experienced were directly related to how much you invested yourself in it. It's the same for love. The depth at which you offer of yourself and receive from the other person is the real investment. Unfortunately, some will try to make you believe they are invested but truly won't really offer much. Those are the narcissists and sociopaths of our society. They are master manipulators. It's a sport where they absolutely want to win by bringing the other person to give all they can while making them believe it's a fair exchange. If you're the slightest bit naive about these people, you get caught in their game. They are void of emotion and vulnerability because of the dysfunctional environment they come from. One way investment doesn't work.... ever.

[@arlenka1176]

thank you for your words

[@vabsuisi1146]

thank you

[@bobaheidi]

Damn. The truth shall set you free!

[@jaachelyn]

this should have more likes

[@CumulusSkies]

I appreciate your thoughtful comment. Thanks for taking the time to write it. Sure, the formula he lays out might be OK for some, and if it is, sweet! As long as consent is involved, I say live and let live. With regard to this video, I did find myself chuckling/laughing at the over-the-top simplistic, black & white, stereotypical ideas for the best way to snag and keep a partner/spouse. Most of us humans are way too complicated, way too nuanced for this formula to work towards an *actual* fulfilling, enriched partnership. Anyhoo, that’s just my two cents, and you know what they say about opinions…😉

[@marylamb7707]

He is basing this off the people he sees. There is a whole other base of people who simply fall in love, get married, and stay married.

[@childum]

There is also a massive base of men who dont have access to women, unless they pay sex workers. Many average or below average men are invisible to women

[@macdeeb]

And then they suffer silently lol.

[@marylamb7707]

@@macdeeb Some probably, not the happy ones though. Those are the ones I'm referring to.

[@SystemChannel]

The few people that I know that stayed married for 50 + years, it was always some years of pain were they felt like they weren’t going to make it. It’s never simple.

[@marylamb7707]

@@SystemChannel Of course it's not simple. Of course it's not roses and hearts daily. Neither is single life. Married 48 years this March 17th. I know from experience.

[@lifeofbeautyk]

Man, this comment section has restored my heart. This man is not speaking for the 99% he is speaking for the shallow carnal mind of most of the 1%. They can have their "investments," and I'll take my simple love and lifelong commitment to the man I said for better or worse to. ❤12/20/2005.❤

[@bloodbased]

I can’t believe there are people thinking in terms of occupy wall street memes in 2024 lol. Those percentages don’t really hold up to objective reality. Successful marriages are the exception, sadly. These behaviors cut across all socioeconomic classes, especially in America. There is a huge difference between looking at this in an “immoral” way VS analyzing it in an “amoral” (scientific?) way. Hope that makes sense. Bless you and your husband 🙏🏻

[@cinammonrolls]

The title of the video is " a psychologist thoughts about love " i didn't hear him talk about love throughout the video not even once , all he was saying is women should be sexy and available, men should be rich and successful Nobody is loving nobody here , they are here for either sex or money

[@AE-wy7ze]

great comment

[@Laughing_Individual]

sounds like you only listened to 10 mins got angry and went back to tik tok.

[@cinammonrolls]

@@Laughing_Individual i finished the entire video , and i'm still not convinced by what he is saying + i don't have tik tok A woman shouldn't be a slut to get a man she wants that's actually kinda humiliating

[@sleeper9638]

Because in the end that's what most relationships come down to. It's been studied over and over and over again and always reaches the same conclusion. Love is just a male fantasy

[@icvideos1621]

What hasn't been studied is how men will feel about women after equality becomes a reality. It take a thousand years for a new language and the original language to become unintelligible to each other. It will be a long time before men view woman as equals.@@sleeper9638

[@steveb7429]

I have been single since 2018. And I am the happiest I’ve been for quite some time now. Other people cannot ‘ make you happy’. You have to do the work yourself to make yourself a better human being.

[@thepragmatist]

Completely agree. All the best to you.

[@elainer8288]

Completely agree!

[@nomadicam]

Yes! I've been single since 2019 and it's the same! I tend to feel lonlier when I'm in a romantic relationship. When I'm not, I can build up my friendships more and spend more time on the hobbies that feed my soul.

[@happylarry7533]

Single for 15 years been raised with two older sisters and mum bought us up. I'm happier then ever after years of wanting a relationship now I'm good being free and able to do as I please Why risk that fishing or hunting. Things happen naturally normally feels more real

[@Steffany_Duncan]

We are wired for connection

[@stardream7412]

As a psychologist that deals with a lot of people's issues, he points out a lot of the unhealthy needs in both men and women, which are all true but there are healthy or general needs as well (he drops them here and there). What I can get out of this is the importance to be aware of these things so that you can manage it within in yourself. But also when life happens people's hurt side comes out and it also helps to understand and be patient and navigate through the unhealthy tendencies that can come out in your partner.

[@xandercorp6175]

Real needs aren't actually healthy or unhealthy, they just are. Desires can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the situation, but can usually be broken down into legitimate needs and interpretive associations.

[@Sara-world]

He didn't address men being partners to women at all, just being providers. Low value women only want a provider. A woman that can provide for herself and others and that is attractive as well isn't just looking for a provider.

[@xandercorp6175]

@@Sara-world 1. You'll notice this video is just a part 1, and the guy has a channel with hours of content. 2. Becoming a man has to start somewhere, just like women's choosiness has to start somewhere, and the capacity to provide is on top of the list for a reason. 3. Partnering comes after attraction, it makes sense not to put the cart before the horse. 4. Women's wants don't just exist in a vacuum. A man isn't looking for a provider, even if he's poor and the bottom of the barrel, so pricing yourself out of that exchange doesn't get you much. My points could be presented in a more sensible order, but only because they follow the order of concerns in your comment.

[@jbdsvld8175]

@Sara-world what you deem attractive probably doesn’t even interest the average guy. Stuff like having a career and being a functioning adult.

[@stardream7412]

@@xandercorp6175 Good point about needs neither being healthy or unhealthy. I would even take it a step further and say that the healthiness of a need or a desire is determined by the action or response we have towards them.

[@efhfejhfjskfnsdkfnweakhrcw]

Don't take dating advice from someone who's single and doesn't desire a partner to live with. Instead, consider someone like Matthew Hussey. He specializes in bringing men and women together and he's in a committed relationship himself, showing he knows what he's talking about.

[@JamYezzle]

I was broke and homeless when I started dating my would be wife in 2015. She graduated from college that same year and the only income we had was the allowance her dad gave her. I later join the military and got injured in 2020. I had 6 medical procedures done and I ended hating myself. She loved me through it all. Long story short; we are still married with 2 kids and we are not broke. God has been faithful.

[@violenceandperfume]

That's a great story I wonder if the roles were reversed you would do the same for her as she did for you.

[@ali.a9083]

From your name it seems you're a Muslim so it makes sense that your wife must have feminine and stuck by you. A western woman would have divorced you right away and taken half ur sh1t

[@borivojejasic9934]

Yeah he would, but you would never for anyone. My asumption ;) ​@@violenceandperfume

[@MA-gu2up]

Does government compensate you for your injuries and so on? Or are you employed now? I ask those questions because you said you aren't broke anymore.

[@TexasGal1970]

A woman supporting a man is not the norm. Nor should it be. When you rob a man of taking on a masculine role in the relationship then it breaks down and unfortunately respect is typically lost. I would say ya'lls situation is not successful for 90% of couples

[@originalpolo]

20 min in and a common saying comes to mind; "Anybody who speaks in absolutes is an absolute fool". 😔

[@StephieGsrEvolution]

💯💯💯

[@Etrielle]

I agree

[@yegsheens]

I couldn't do 20 minutes 🤣

[@MrCenterOfTheWorld]

His example with guys asking politely for sex and 100% of the women said no backs his claims. I personally don't let stats dictate my dating decisions or how I move through the world but a lot of people do.

[@yegsheens]

@@MrCenterOfTheWorld Stats from decades ago no less...

[@Mvllon]

I've been single for like 5 years and after hearing this I'm not sure I'll ever want to put this amount of stress on myself.

[@SubvertTheState]

If you don't want all of these problems of selfish, dramatic and unconscious women, you should not use dating apps. If you're a woman who is tired of getting used and lied to, of putting forth effort to receive nothing in return... stop it. "Settle" for someone on your level, actually below your level because women dramatically overestimate their attractiveness. You are certainly free to "never settle". But you will never settle. Your life will be incomplete, frustrated and full of prostitution and no love.

[@TheirIAre]

Single life is sooo much more peaceful.

[@lizkim1546]

I been single for 5 years tooo and I can’t find anything good out there

[@TheirIAre]

@@lizkim1546 enjoy your ride while it lasts.

[@LittleMew133]

Kinda same, unintentionally 😅

[@stephaniemartinez9784]

I am definitely not his target audience. I listened to 5 minutes and felt physically ill. His information directly contradicts the principles that my healthy and happy marriage and family were built on. I am still wildly attracted to my husband after 11 years and deeply respect him. None of this life we have together is based on these ideas or principles.

[@ViragGulyasofficial]

same

[@SendU2Jesus]

What luck you have found. Never leave each other. I say the same thing to my happily married friends. You don't want to be out here with us.

[@SendU2Jesus]

It is f'in sickening.

[@papapatriarchy5372]

I'm a younger male and I agree. This video's advice and outlook is based on a very narrow view of things. In fact, this man has created something of a narrative to "save" men and women from. Grift territory.

[@HeyTeacherLeaveThoseKidsAlone]

you are the exception

[@michaelwhitaker5882]

Healthy relationships have boundries and self respect with intimacy being a part of and not the center piece of the relationship.

[@sublime7480]

Guess you never had that one woman blow your brains out.

[@nrosa4051]

He sounds like he is describing narc personalities types of people in dating world. Good luck peeps !!!

[@Alex-xf5ux]

Most women behavior are narcisist brother

[@catherinepraus8635]

Totally

[@bayani7626]

with the rise of tiktok and other social media. american thinking through these social media apps is spreading even in 3rd world countries. this is probably why a lot of women living in cities are getting into hookup culture.

[@sebastiangarcia2596]

You sound like a KZbin commenter and not a professional anything! Good luck

[@jasonolinger7585]

Yea that is literally what the dating world is like, you must not be dating much?

[@lostinspace4417]

"A man might simp.. powerfully" I don't know why that statement was so funny to me, but I chuckled out loud.

[@_moon178]

Im realising that people have little to no concept of what love actually is. And this guy seems to be one of them. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

[@donomar4815]

Well I guess it's hard for females to acknowledge the harsh truth. It's quite convenient and self comforting to hide behind self lying talking points

[@jaredmatthews7988]

He is not talking about love.... he is talking about relationship and contractual marriage. Although those things can exist together, they don't need each other to exist. Many can love without a transactional relationship, and the transactional relationship can have zero love. Orion has another video where he defines love in the same way that you do, except using Shel Silversteins Giving Tree instead of first Corinthians 13. So I agree with you that people call a great many things Love that are not actually love. I love you can mean... please dont leave me.... forgive me.... dont get mad at me.....say you love me too....make me happpy.... give me what i want..... all of them are not real love. Perhaps one of the best is the take by CS Lewis. "The value of True love can never be wasted for it was never based on reciprocity."

[@AA86420]

I think you can understand where he's coming from if you watch his video "love has nothing to do with relationships"

[@KaratAllenPoe]

Nice poem, now let’s talk about the divorce rate.

[@timsimmons9995]

Love? No, it's women's arbutrariness. The eternal optimists here have their head in the sand! The national statistics don't lie. Marriage rates are the lowest in 4 generations. For those so deeply in love who commit by sworn oath to be together forever before God and country, go through expensive ceremonies with all family and friends as witness to their everlasting love, daring enough to marry, divorce rates are a coin toss. Only an estimated 5-15% of marriage people report being happy... Marriage is an outdated useless antique offering no benefits and all risks for men...

[@jannisclark6412]

“ If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you “. George Bernard Shaw

[@BeingLifted]

Where was the truth?

[@LateNightCable]

And if they don’t kill you, they’ll just ask snarky questions, like “where was the truth?”.

[@BeingLifted]

@@LateNightCable There might have been some men's truth in there but, as you can tell by the comments, a lot of the women disagreed. I didn't see it as a snarky question.

[@philippopenik8880]

ha ha ha ha soooooooooooooooooo true..especially today

[@joblo2671]

Hmm.. thought that was Oscar Wilde. Who knows?

[@matsten]

Thank you comment section you saved my precious time.

[@dy4710]

It’s just women complaining about him pointing out female nature? Echo chamber of other women just like you- not sure how relieving that can be.. but knowing women they like being lied to as long as it protects their feelings

[@plantstho6599]

The sanity I gain in staying celibate more than makes up for the absence of intimacy and human touch in my life.

[@jcvelez915]

* involuntary celibate

[@amberadams2935]

​@@jcvelez915*self report

[@ivangotyokes]

No it doesn't. Stop lying to yourself.

[@amberadams2935]

@@ivangotyokes I'm here to defend get off they back ur da liarrrr u dnt believe in peace? U get peace when ur alone n thts when u grow ...like ur personality n traits not ur c0ck growing bc sometimes sex is put on a back burner for more important life matters

[@timebot000]

....here here! After decades of too much promiscuity, going 10 yrs w no bf whatsoever ...time is an illusion😂

[@latinaalma1947]

It is so pleasant to see so many are seeing through his message...it gives me hope.

[@dwade6322]

I'm watching this video for all of 2 minutes and already I am thinking "When relationships go bad,this is the guy every man wishes he was buddies with"

[@ICWieneryay]

"they're all crazy you just got to find one that's worth the crazy"

[@dwade6322]

@@ICWieneryay Oh! 🤣

[@Alex-xf5ux]

@@ICWieneryaygood look

[@jomae647]

The influence men have on each other is stronger than tungsten steel.

[@ICWieneryay]

@@jomae647 its not gay if you kiss my neck bro

[@fatimadavis90]

The title of this video should've been "A Psychologist's Perspective On Attraction According To Motives". This is all I heard from him so far.

[@aysiarogina5741]

Is he even a real psychologist tho?🫠🤣

[@rufio171]

I see you're a female. As a guy, everything he said is 100% accurate; if you're not trying to be part of the 56% divorce rate, that is

[@brianmeen2158]

“According to motives” Yes the guy was simply saying what motivates men and women on a primal level to seek each other out! Just to get the ball rolling so to speak .

[@daviderickennedy2194]

Good observation. The guy is mostly A KZbin personality. His channel is mostly a scam directed almost enterally at the incel community. "How bad woman are, etc.

[@jennrivrun]

Omg! Seriously I can't even! Glad to see others agree!

[@laurawells1711]

This is the art of seduction, not the art of Love. As Robert Greene said, you can not seduce someone who is happy with their life. You can only seduce someone who feels like their life is missing something. With relationships based purely on seduction the chances of it lasting long term are low. If seduction was a way to KEEP a man then strippers, prostitutes, and mentally unbalanced people would not have a string of broken relationships. 30 year olds being married to 18 year olds would be the norm. True love is about loving someone for who they are and not what problems they can solve for you. It’s about seeing someone’s intrinsic value as a child of god and not their outside value. Also I find it a little mysognistic that his ultimate advice for a woman to keep a man is to be a sexual vessel, then be quiet and helpful. I think it diminishes the experiences of women who have done these things for a man and still get cheated on or abused. A fundamentally unhappy person will never find someone good enough to hold their attention for long.

[@BBeeblebrox]

Only kind of women who would fall for such a man is someone who is not happy with herself but portrays to be so. So you are going to end up with a broken woman if you keep up that attitude. No self respecting woman is going to give up her dignity for a one sided deal.​@@StoicCaringbutColdandFierceIfN

[@jonkho]

“Sexual vessel, then be quiet and helpful”. Sounds perfect. Consider the opposite: sexless, loud/crude, combative. Yep I’d rather what you just described.

[@plantypittsburgh]

@@StoicCaringbutColdandFierceIfN so who hurt you?

[@plantypittsburgh]

@@StoicCaringbutColdandFierceIfN both white women? That's an interesting thing to say. Why is that significant?

[@norm1815]

​@@StoicCaringbutColdandFierceIfN You are SPOT ON...I just dumped a gorgeous woman who felt like the world owed her a living and she never made any mistakes...Bu Bye Felicia

[@HeyHeyItsAlex]

Who wants to wait decades for men who absolutely aren’t waiting for them? That level of loyalty will never be reciprocated by a man, but that analogy was definitely written by one. You have to deserve it to get it.

[@hamilton7181]

Another hit from Soft White Underbelly and Psyhacks! the last couple minutes on a master using anything and everything in life to further his purpose were some of the wisest words I've ever heard, I will literally never forget that, thank you Orion, can't wait for part 2

[@rebeccas.nieminen9861]

I've listened to about 25 minutes of this and all I can say is it's rather sad. Despite what he his saying, there are indeed humans in this world who attempt to love unselfishly and who understand that genuine love is not rooted in lust or games. There are indeed relationships that include sex but also are built on friendship, honesty, and genuine caring etc. While I don't doubt that a lot of people fall into the category of what he is describing, I also know there are many who do not and thank goodness for that.

[@vettie]

You've hit the problem with his message right on the head. These strategies and theories may work for "love" that's based strictly on ego satisfaction (which I do not doubt is the majority) but they fall flat when talking about a real mature, vulnerable, consistent, stable relationship. Someone who would otherwise love you just as you are will quickly run away when they notice you modifying your behavior for the sake of maintaining power over them. I've watched a decent amount of his content and I find it abhorrent that his general message to men is that romantic love is not real and that all dating is based on transactional games.

[@donnastucker9177]

OMG you nailed it. This is so fucking shallow I can't believe it. Disgusting, soulless nonsense.

[@faulrevere8938]

Every adult relationship of any kind is transactional to a large degree...you’re living in the world of Disney and Hollywood romcoms...time to grow up and face reality. Unconditional love is for animals and children.

[@CorinthianIvory]

You have to consider what love has been defined as in our culture and what people actually do are VERY different things. When I love without lust or games, I find that my partner is only present for their benefit i.e. for lust and games

[@madjunir]

​@@vettie"real. Mature love is extremely hard to find. You said it yourself. This is why am purple pill there needs to be a balance in society between the red and blue pills (left and right) liberals and conservatives. This is what really benefit societies in the end. However today we just see extremes. Liberal Progressives and woke are taking things too far too fast. Toxic Feminism is also destroying society. Modern women only want transactional relationship. They don't want equality. Only benefits not responsibilities. Positions of power. Not blue collar work or trades. 90% of women want the top 10% of men. The remaining are almost invisible. Hypergamy and divorce just because of boredom are at an all time high. So yeah there's no maturity. Just all transactions. This is why men are going MGTOW or becoming passport Bros in record numbers

[@AbsoluteMotivation]

I don’t agree with a lot of what he said. But you know what, fair play, it’s his opinion, it’s what he has seen during his practice. People should relax with the personal attacks on him 😂

[@ti1286]

Well, psychology and even medicine is slippery. It is very easy to see what you want to see when you don’t adress critically and proactively your own biases (and we all have them). I think that he’s projecting the way HE sees relationshipa onto his patients.

[@BeautiHacks]

17:45 if you reverse what he is saying… guys need to be scared.. because unless the woman has good traits within her she might just be a loose cannon that knows how to screw you in more than one way.

[@justsaynotoboomers]

I've found it to be super accurate based on my experiences. At least 20 mins in.

[@jeffreyrose686]

Honestly I agree with and really love most of what he has to say, but props to you for being able to disagree without shitting on him, respectful disagreement and conversation seems to be an increasingly rare ability these days

[@JayKay9112000]

@@BeautiHackswell the reverse doesn’t work because men and women have different roles in the relationship.

[@iarid]

I'm a 28 years old woman. I couldn't finish watching the interview. I've been trying to finish it for some days but it's so unsettling. Up to a point where I felt like commenting and I never comment... shocking and disturbing.

[@lauren_WI]

Same, made me feel gross and triggered. Next interview

[@Howbee]

I managed to make it through. Genuinely repulsed by how formulaic and transactional this guy views things. Breaking things down into archetypes like this is profoundly toxic and really gross. You didn't miss much.

[@jsadecki1]

Unfortunately, the issue with relationships today is that some members of both gender's do not want to accept the way the other gender behaves and what they desire. Just like what the speaker suggests, if you are unable to provide the correct bait to catch a fish and then keep it because you cannot meet in the middle, then that is absolutely your fault.

[@GroupConglomerate]

Welcome to the modern world lol

[@timsimmons9995]

The eternal optimists here have their head in the sand! The national statistics don't lie. Marriage rates are the lowest in 4 generations. For those daring enough to marry, divorce rates are a coin toss. Only an estimated 5-15% of marriage people report being happy... Marriage is an outdated useless antique offering no benefits and all risks for men...

[@ktolzmann520]

If you look at relationships transactionally… all you’re gonna get is a transaction

[@Evil-Rod-Farva]

There are no continuing human relationships that do not have a benefit for both parties long term. We once had a concept where one party benefited. That was called slavery.

[@rogerteaminski6351]

Everything is a transaction, welcome to adulthood peter pan.

[@starwalkerone4496]

Well said

[@starwalkerone4496]

@@Matthew-nm1siI don’t agree I believe they are exchanges not always a transaction

[@quinteastwood8752]

And if you look at a relationship as an investment you will end up used and alone

[@60n24yeah]

I’m 43 years married and his take is primal & abrupt but accurate. There’s a lot more to relationship making than the “bullet points” in this video(health, sickness,death, living life,etc..) that’s plays into a person’s mind and behaviors that prompts decision making.

[@icvideos1621]

Any woman who can be as slutty as possible merely to get a man's attention, will never trust that man if she gets tired of being super-slut. She also has the ability to be a super-slut with anyone, because what's real doesn't matter. It's a performance.

[@lostemufarms]

I guess this psychologist is addressing the very shallow nature of our culture and relationships. I’d never consult him for deep meaningful issues.

[@Adiudicium-1776]

agree 100%!

[@yzma6142]

He is unmarried and bitter. If men want to end up like him, follow his advice

[@pimaggot]

I have been following him for a while and he used to focus in his channel on interesting phenomenon within psychology - he had a great video on why time speeds up as you grow older and how to slow it down. But he was getting way more views on his relationship talks - so he gave his viewership what they wanted and started spewing a lot of manosphere redpill type stuff. Some of what I agree with but wish he would go back to his earlier works on other aspects of psychology other than always ruminating about courtship and dating and all of that - more to life 😂

[@hipsonsogbo]

I thought the same thing, this is so black and white, there is some truth to some parts of it, we are not all this rigid on our feelings.

[@alexward8596]

He’s basing this all off of his experiences and his clients, you think he’s just some robotic misogynist incapable of “deep meaningful issues” 😅

[@metanoiate]

After listening to this as 35 year old woman, I've realised I'm going to die alone. Thank you Dr. Taraban

[@oscarm.1417]

There are plenty of good men out there that will see you for who you are; not how you look. Trust me on this, I've been around the block a few times.

[@valeskhaconk2550]

Dont ever listen to this guy please

[@kensmith2796]

I think the divorce attorney was giving better relationship and psychological advice than this guy.

[@minty000]

I agree!

[@Wildbunnies]

You mean James Sexton?

[@kendra9688]

Yes!!! I am 9 minutes in and it looks like pure sexual manipulation.

[@nikkojayantonino717]

u not wrong

[@AliJacobson-u6r]

Amen

[@bayani7626]

social media like tiktok and instagram ruined the dating world

[@bluedogjackiepoo]

The dating pool has piss in it😂

[@gloobjob]

@@bluedogjackiepoo and floating turds and empty burger king cups...nasty af

[@tjjones-xj7kq]

Lack of religion/old values did it. It never use to be cool to knock up a high schooler or to have a side hustle. Most people would have called that a low life man. Now culture says that's cool. People are afraid to work on one relationship so they have fun escape all over. Nothing serious but fun.

[@roses6564]

@@tjjones-xj7kq You're right about the shallows but religion is not going to solve that, on the contrary it has produced a ton of harm over the centuries. What society needs is a good dose of eugenics, not more organized religion. This way you get rid of the shallows.

[@bearclaw5115]

@@roses6564 I was following you there for a bit and then you took a hard turn!

[@krissyw4017]

I’m a therapist and for those who don’t know there is a difference between a therapist and Psychologist- in that therapists have to live and work in the gray area of lives whereas Psychologists tend to be consistently black and white. Like this man here. That being said, I do a lot of couples work and yes, in the beginning of relationships it can seem very transactional, and he’s correct about these things on a VERY basic level. Especially with sex. And i am not surprised he’s talking about ego. Love, however, encompasses much more than that and it’s extremely complex. Truly it’s possible to have a long lasting relationship but it takes communication, safety, comfort, abd shared values.

[@chironow3446]

And sex. What does a woman bring to the table over what another man can provide let alone a dog? Nagging? Criticism? Giving him a list of things to do for said sex?

[@Prometheism]

Nah therapists are very new age, idealistic and wish washy. It’s a very feminine, coddling practice that doesn’t help anyone especially men. Therapists shouldn’t be talking about love like we live in a Disney fairy tale, stick to the reality, the biological and primal drives that dictate our actions and interactions with others.

[@Steelhorsecowboy]

He's single so he is like a guy with 20 years experience in a field but it is actually 20 times 1 year experience.

[@user-et7og2wr9q]

@@Steelhorsecowboy i am living for this explanation and now my head hurts a little less thank you

[@user-et7og2wr9q]

imma go back and listen again but now that i think of it, homie didn't mention love ONCE lollllllllll, they should rename the title!

[@joelRmontfort]

The honesty here is refreshing. At first his honesty was almost off-putting because I figured he would be an Andrew Tate type, or a defender of toxic masculinity, but then as I listened more and more I realized he is just depicting an accurate situation of modern romance, whether it be "for better or worse" to quote him directly. It might not be ideal, but this is the landscape we encounter in the field.

[@yael1473]

This guy is just Tate in sheep's clothing. Don't be fooled. Not all women are just looking for a rich guy and not every guy is looking to marry the best F of his life

[@YuyiLeal]

As a woman, what do I want? From a personal, individual perspective: kindness, fidelity, loyalty, sincerity, and also a touch of humour and adventure, plus stability, trustworthiness...and integrity. There you go! (One woman speaking :) (Found a man who by God's grace reunites these qualities, plus others.😊)

[@PhantomFilmmaker-jd9ho]

Very happy for you. If you don't mind me asking, what does your husband want?

[@YuyiLeal]

@@PhantomFilmmaker-jd9ho The same things, I would say...thank you for asking! - and playfulness, I would add!😇

[@maritaz7577]

Didn´t you forget respect?

[@YuyiLeal]

@@maritaz7577 That's so fundamental that it seemed obvious...but yes, definitely respect must be there! 🙏

[@NPC-30]

Heard the same thing from other women... who either ended up cheating or getting rid of the guy because "he was boring".

[@silvervale1]

You know the video is worth the watch when the comment section is so heavily divided. Ironically I’d have disagreed or refused to believe a lot of his points 3 years ago but nowadays, having been in a relationship with a woman for the past 3 years, observing and hearing stories about her and her friends, I recognize a lot of truths. The homies sent this in a group chat and we found that we experience a lot of what he touches on. Be opened minded people. Not all women or men are like this but I think a fair chunk are.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

Dr Taraban is getting destroyed in the comments section but it is all personal attacks and shaming language. It is interesting how there is no actual valid criticism. It is all just moaning and complaining that Dr Taraban makes them feel bad about themselves.

[@roses6564]

@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 He knows what he's talking about and I say this as a female professional, same credentials in a similar discipline. Can't stop binge watching his work.

[@candyiw4801]

I agree! 10 years ago I would have frowned at what hes saying. But within the past few years I have definitely experienced some of the things he talks about. I find this video interesting and truthful. Ppl don't wanna hear harsh truths. I don't see anything wrong with what he's saying...but then again I might be the one with the personality disorder. 😮

[@evelynwaugh4053]

I think he's missing a lot. A relationship based on meeting the guy's sexual needs, being an awesome host, housekeeper, etc., etc. will break up any time the guy wants to replace her with a newer model (younger, prettier, etc.). Men do this all the time. Familiarity breeds contempt. A man could even love his wife very much, but no longer feel passion for her. He may feel somewhat guilty, but many men switch partners if they can afford it, when the wife ages. A woman is better served by establishing a lucrative career that she's good at and looking for a guy who wants a partner, not a whore, mother, and acolyte combined. If she follows his advice and essentially gives 20 years of her life being the fantasy ideal woman, she should negotiate a good prenup, because she's likely not to have this crap relationship forever.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@evelynwaugh4053 I think the problem with your strategy is that if a women establishes a career she will probably be around 30 - 40 when she is ready to get married and will consequently have a long list of previous ex boyfriends. This may hinder her chances of finding her dream guy because she is older, more traumatized, and may be outcompeted by younger women. And the types of guys that are likely to settle for more older, masculine, boss babe type women, are likely to be spineless low-testosterone beta males who will ultimately repulse her long term. Dr Taraban's advice is for women looking for her dream guy. Your advice will ultimately result in women having to settle for low value beta males.

[@josephmbimbi]

I watched a bunch of Psychacks vids, but this video is still fascinating. This reinforces my values that i want nothing to do with this kind of game, god forbid i get into this line of thinking, even involuntarily, or associate myself with a woman playing this game. I am working on myself to improve my life (weight loss, mental health healing, getting a better job) and whenever i get back to the dating pool, i will filter HARD

[@d.k.s.5919]

This comment wins. Idk if I'd be with my husband of 6 years if I played the game described in this video.

[@davidllamas2192]

So you aré rising your value before hitting the market again...

[@josephmbimbi]

@@davidllamas2192 what I am conscious of is an awful lack of self confidence and paralyzing approach anxiety, am I unconsciously trying to increase my value, thus actually conforming to a system I denounce, probably to some extent, I did not raise myself after all lol. But the more I understand "the system" the more I understand how it hurts me, other men, and women got that matter, for giving up all agency and placing it in the hand of men. The more I understand it, the more i try to get away from it. Hopefully I will be aware enough not to get tangled in a kind of relationship I want to avoid

[@LateNightCable]

I think this interview simply underlines the transactional nature of biology. Which can be a tough pill to swallow, but not inaccurate. And it’s bound to exist within our giant pool of humanity, and only so much time on Earth. That doesn’t make women and men rotten for each other. But before we grant access to our soft white underbellies for the longterm, to develop more meaningful attachments, we must play certain games to get beneath the hard shell.

[@kimgoforth6477]

I’m a 65 yr old woman. I’ve been around. I’ve been in long term relationships and married. This has never been my experience, Thank god! I want to be nice, so I will say no more. Oh, could only watch about half the video, so my comment is about that first half.

[@hotdammusic]

I think more than anything, this guy loves to hear the sound of his own voice.

[@Strafeyy]

It's an interview about complex topics, did you expect one word answers? 🙄🙄🙄

[@OlderWomenRock]

Agree , He has all the answers . It’s just His opinion

[@asiira]

To those discouraged by this, just know that this isn’t the reality for a lot people. I myself have been in multiple relationships far from what he is describing. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for 6 years. We met in high school and he didn’t have anything to “offer” me at the time, we just enjoyed spending time together. Financially we contribute equally, he is sweet to me in front of his friends, we waited for each other for 3 years when we did long distance, etc. There’s hope out there!

[@anon7684]

Duh it was high school lol

[@ibubezi7685]

@@anon7684 Yeah, she's clearly settling! LOL

[@uncharted4076]

I'm happy for you. This is not the reality for most people. Long distance is hard, especially for young adults.

[@JittFrom305]

There’s always an exception to the rule

[@PlaTaNo621]

Using ones own experiences as a counter argument in a discussion that addresses society as a whole is not a strong tactic. Especially regarding the dating world. I say this in full confidence because my marriage is clearly different from everyone else's in my life. If I were to tell everyone younger that every marriage will be like mind, the vast majority will come back to me years later with hate and anger in their eyes

[@writer1986]

Both parties have to be in a healthy mental state for a relationship to work. I was independent, living on my own, ready to date and settle down. I met my husband, and he fit the bill, but once we settled his true colors came out. I learned through the years that he's a very angry person, with a lot of trauma. (And it stems from his family, who just shoves problems under the rug.) I spent 5 years trying not to rock the boat, trying to help him, and it was useless. Our marriage was dead by 2 years, and I left. Only then did he start doing the work on himself, to work on our marriage. What did I learn from this? You can't help someone who can't help themselves, even if it's your partner. If one of you is not in a healthy mental state, there is nothing you can do to achieve a healthy relationship. And that realization is heartbreaking.

[@Chameleon_daddi]

.... who's healthy minded these days?

[@melissathomas2314]

Same here

[@elainer8288]

Thank you for telling us that. I agree with you.

[@QuieroMiCacao]

Did you stay with your husband after he put in the work?

[@EduardoMartinez-ys6fb]

Sex is a very small part of being in a relationship. Being emotionally connected, sharing interests, caring for one another, enhancing each other's lives in some way is far more important. Sex without these is meaningless - you might as well pay for it.

[@Prometheuspredator]

I totally agree 👍. Couldn't have said it better myself.

[@troyl5498]

Two words for you, my friend: _Tracking software._

[@dorindacontreras1094]

Well put❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@btchiaintkidding7837]

is he saying otherwise ? also why tf do we constantly understimate the importance of Sex in relationships i will never get it ffs

[@dorindacontreras1094]

@@btchiaintkidding7837 but why do women have to come on to a man first to prove her worth? That’s what ain’t cool about what this guy is saying. I know my sexual worth. I want to know if a man has the emotional intelligence to deserve my sexual worth.

[@Seriousmods]

I'm halfway through this interview, and realizing that I understand even less about people than I think I do (which is saying something as I have never even landed a first date at 31). Much of what he is describing is the polar opposite of how I want to be: it's stunning actually.

[@BenjaminGolden-c5u]

The guy is a creep. He throws together truisms and narratives to make his case. Overall, in my view he should be ignored.

[@margotnaut]

Well hey, that probably means you're onto something! It can be very helpful to be shown a thing you absolutely do not want. Clarifies better what you *are* aiming for. Sounds like this interview did just that

[@JonLutzky]

He perpetuates game playing and manipulation, rather than a more genuine search for love and connection. Literally all that is wrong with society, personified. He's basically a pick up artist teacher for both sexes, using his degree to upsell his "expertise".

[@chipsteve]

All women play games.

[@roses6564]

@@chipsteve All humans must play games, at least in the original stages of a relationship. There's no way around it.

[@chipsteve]

@@roses6564 highly masculine men don't need to play games. They just go for what they want like a wild assertive beast. It's anti masculinity to do passive aggressive manipulative stuff.

[@roses6564]

@@chipsteve This is true. Then it's only the woman left to play the "hard to get" game, because how else. No Means Yes, Yes means A**l ... the works (rofl).

[@helenestiernstrand6575]

Have you never heard of ”tinder”?🙄

[@marywilson5578]

Christ on a bike...all of this is exhausting. Choosing to be alone & happy is very emotionally freeing

[@catherinepraus8635]

It is for me

[@jcvelez915]

Speaking from a guy this guy is saying the cold honest truth especially with how a average looking girl can sleep with almost any guy if they approach it the right way. The girl that want a relationship from a guy is the hard part because they need to actually provide some sort of value to the guy.

[@nicholaskoenig3106]

Christ on a bike...LMMFAO! Never heard that before. 😂😂❤

[@CorinthianIvory]

Christ on a bike 😂, I'm gonna start saying that now

[@dubaiedge]

It **really** is better, at least as a woman.

[@vivi456ify]

Completely agree with him! Bc once I started doing my research on the men that I was interested in/dating, I found soooo much that they weren’t saying. Saved me years of my life.

[@jwbrooks55]

This is the way.

[@kelseagail_xo]

How could one single person say so many wrong things in such a short period of time. The close mindedness is actually terrifying.

[@prestonbane4176]

"closed-minded"

[@kelseagail_xo]

@@prestonbane4176 closed-mindedness *

[@dy4710]

You don’t seem like the most intelligent person around.. everything he said is right on the money-platonic and romantic relationships- this is how women behave and their motivations for doing so

[@unpluggedalphaa]

He's not close minded. Those are the patterns he observed from his clients. 😂

[@unpluggedalphaa]

You might feel him as close minded from your perspective but men who face those issues agree with his perspective

[@m5073]

My wife is gorgeous. Easily a 10 and I’m not afraid or ashamed to just say it because she is. Top 20% in her law school class. Stopped her career to have kids and stay at home with them, cooks and cleans every day. Best wife ever. I knew she was the one when I met her parents and saw how she treated other people and her pets. I’m the luckiest guy on earth.

[@roses6564]

OK.

[@bearclaw5115]

There are no 10's. Only 9's in make up. Good for you though I hope you still feel the same way in the future.

[@pigafettalyon1270]

"Die Bejahung des Lebens setzt Beschränkung des Selbstbewußtseins auf das eigene Individuum voraus und baut auf die Möglichkeit eines günstigen Lebenslaufes aus der Hand des Zufalls." Schopenhauer "The affirmation of Life requires the limitation of one's consciousness to one's own person and relies on the possibility of a favorable development of one's life delivered by chance."

[@tragickingdom69]

Enjoy her until she decides to level up.

[@m5073]

@@tragickingdom69 I’m sorry about whatever your girl did to hurt you. I think mine would be hard pressed as I’m a good father, loyal, honest and make 400k a year and we’ve been together for almost 15 years but yea, I see your point

[@chriscurbstompscm]

Its fascinating how most people who are involved in dating/relationships today will readily admit that dating and relationships are absolutely terrible (at least in America), and they have far more failed relationships than successful ones, but somehow they are still completely convinced that they know what it takes to have a successful relationship (often saying some stupid pop-psych BS like 'communication is key!'). The cognitive dissonance is absolutely astounding.

[@user-jg5xm8um8y]

It’s one thing to proclaim that one is an expert, when one is not, but…do we not learn from mistakes? It CAN be the same in business. You have a bunch of them fail to take off. You learn from them. After a bunch of failed relationships, especially if there are patterns you can sort out, you can say “I did this and it led to this. I do not suggest that. I did this instead, and this happened multiple times.” I can tell you, I have been rejected by way more women than I’ve been in relationships. Some of those times, there may have been lessons I didn’t figure out, or even no lesson, but sometimes I did. I would not have been in relationships if it were not partially from the “mistakes” I made. I’m no expert, but anyone who has repeated this process on a larger scale than me is sure to have some great advice

[@rdw2457]

A “specialist” in human behavior using the Ken & Barbie analogy… groan.

[@Abard3480]

I thought that analogy was spot on. @@rdw2457

[@victoriameloy255]

His view is made from a specific type of person who is coming in for psychology services.

[@Alex-xf5ux]

What he is saying is accurate though

[@MH-hm5cv]

😂

[@tonyhoffman3309]

OOnly for a certain demographic

[@tonyhoffman3309]

OOnly for a certain demographic

[@randymarsh9488]

About 90% act like this nowadays

[@jeffking9202]

This guy's beliefs exemplify why therapists, need therapists.

[@kayremoob9579]

More like re-education like they'd done to Jorden Peterson in Canada. More censorship!

[@mekina261]

😂 Truth

[@Ichabod_Jericho]

I can tell you my dating scene changed when I started treating women like I was looking for a friend first, not a fuck-buddy. I understand this dude relays the nature of the scene well, women have choice, men don’t, women used to stay for security now they don’t need you for that etc etc but he’s missing 80% of daily life with another human. If you can’t be friends with your wife, it’s gonna feel weird in 5 years and one of you will want divorce more than the other. If not you’ll both grow in life together, day by day. As friends.

[@michamichalak6200]

he is self-absorbed, such think mostly of themselves in relationship, and in today's age, it is bad deal for other party.

[@nikeisagreekgoddess4135]

He is not missing it. He covered the incentives people have to get involved with each other. Compatibility is a second order aspect of any relationship. First comes attraction and he did a splendid job at laying out the things most of us really want from each other, doing it with no holds barred, which is why some people feel uncomfortable. He unapologetically explains the transaction that stands at the ground of any relationship, something people really rather not acknowledge as it exposes a not so flattering side of them. Too many people just have not integrated the awareness of their nature into their personality.

[@michamichalak6200]

@@nikeisagreekgoddess4135 I agree with his picture, but it renders relationship as permanent transactional battle.

[@nikeisagreekgoddess4135]

@@michamichalak6200 You are giving it the negative connotation with "battle". It isn't. In fact he has provided extremely high quality essays going over how struggling against your partner in a relationship is not a good choice. There's something about "transaction" that people really dislike when applied to these subjects and it is unfounded if you make the effort to understand how desire and attraction work, plus how critical these two are for any relationship to even begin to make sense.

[@Laughing_Individual]

@@michamichalak6200 any relationship is inherently transactional whether you like it or not. Dunno why you people are so averse to reality.

[@higgsboson2667]

I see a lot of negative comments, but so much he says reflects my experience. I was raised by very strict, religious parents to be eternally polite. This set me up for nightmares. I have been through hell with "wholesome" women. The "harsh" reality he tells us of is just the reality I have observed. Everything he says reminds me of what I learned from Professor David Buss many years ago as an undergrad. I wish I could have listened to Buss with greater seriousness and had Taraban's knowledge set into my mind when I was in high school. It would have helped me tremendously. My life has been so painful that I've given up on finding love and even a casual relationship. It's been painful and lonely and I know I am like so many others.

[@jamescheaye927]

Brother, sincerest regards to you on your travels. I wholeheartedly agree and understand your comment. These disingenuous, pejorative, shaming comments are disheartening and shows the disconnect that we have, and how upsetting the truth can be. Of course it is, because nature is cruel and indifferent, yet beautifully magnificent in its design. I’ve had my share of heartache and disappointment from those same “wholesome pretenders” (RIP Alan Roger Curie). You’re led to believe one thing about them, but learn that what they claim does not align with how they conduct themselves in between the sheets. It fills you with rage at how they swindle us, or how we allow ourselves to be hustled and cheated. You look for answers, you come to KZbin, and down the redpill rabbit hole you go. Some of it entertaining rhetoric from grifters, but in my opinion, most of it is informative and teaches us the truth about who we are as mammals and what we respond to on a primitive, carnal level. And that truth ain’t pretty, flattering, or endearing to what we try to portray ourselves as. Instead of trying to deflect and fight it off, we have to be honest if we want better results.

[@14rick88]

The hate in the comments is from men who believe a fairy tale and women who are unable or unwilling to admit the truth in his statements because to admit he's right would mean women lose power. Women subconsciously crave the psychological upper hand because they are the physically weaker sex. Men need to be strong, women need to be manipulative and deceptive. Women rely on the sweet and innocent perception of them by society to make it easier for them to get what they want, so knowledge of the dark side of female nature is a perceived threat to their control. Most will lie about and deny anything that threatens their upper hand.

[@strictlydiesel8305]

yeah he's trying to speak to people that have had issues with bad people, and get it to seem to you like this is just the way "women" are as a generality. to push you towards redpill content. it's all bullshit and after a while living in that media space you'll figure that out too. what makes this stuff work is that there's unfortunately a lot of shitty PEOPLE out there regardless of their gender lol hope you get along out there brother, it's a tough world a lot of the time

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@jamescheaye927 great summation. Unfortunately, a lot of animal nature is unflattering. The cuckoo kicking out the eggs of another bird and laying its eggs in the nest instead. Or lions eating the kids of the previous lion of the pride to bring the lioness into oestrous. Unfortunately, the human animal has an unfortunate set of patterned behaviour too with respect to the exchange of resources for intimacy.

[@nat7891]

Wow, how much I can relate to your comment/story. I was brought up in a very strict Christian household where I had to get married by 18 to a Christian church going man. I lived 16 horrible years with him following rules, being submissive, COMPLETELY losing myself. I am SO grateful to my current husband who took me out of that life and showed me what TRUE LOVE feels like, looks like, I can't even describe the joy I am in now living with this man. This psychologist hit everything on point.

[@JR-gh8lp]

Well that intro is absolutely the last nail on my dating coffin.

[@pocdabeno1974]

I wasn’t expecting this intro, especially while listening to it in a room filled of people at the orthodontist office. 😂

[@KaileyH1991]

Wow! Truly impressive video. I can't believe you were able to make a video from the 1950s look so current.

[@clairehann2681]

Biological psychology only changes so much. A lot of the trouble we are in today is from pretending these psychological realities magically went away. Unfortunately with enough wisdom we start to get it in our thirties

[@joko09010]

😂😂😂

[@maryl234]

🤣

[@krisap1635]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 Hilarious!!! Love it!

[@pallaviyadavmbbsmhacqpa8860]

Hahaha

[@cristhian900]

Funny how a lot of the comments disregard what this man is saying but take a look around… more and more people of both sexes/genders are beginning to walk away from relationships because they just aren’t worth the work, risk, and the hassle. If what he was saying wasn’t at least partially true, the dating market would not look like it does now, marriage rates wouldn’t be plummeting, and sex work/OnlyFans wouldn’t be lucrative. People have to realize that dating, relationships, and marriage are not what they were 30 or so years ago - the times and technology have drastically changed so it only makes sense for our relationship norms and expectations to change as well. It’s easier to win the lottery than it is to find two people who invest in a relationship and stay invested in the relationship equally. If you like your partner more than they like you or the other way around (even if just slightly), your relationship is not going to last.

[@EhEsDeeEf]

As a man its just exhausting. I dont have the energy to be treated like a disposable choice anymore when someone gets bored or wants a different flavour. It's difficult to build intimate and meaningful connections because they never get there. I started dating before dating apps, and the culture has changed so much. From respecting one another and making an effort to build something mutual with open communication to just another option a swipe away if I say something not perfectly. Always feels like a performance to sell myself. It's all so fake. Just shallow and empty experiences.

[@cristhian900]

@@EhEsDeeEf Ah yes I agree, dating apps are the epitome of the Paradox of Choice, at least for most women. The more options one has to choose from, the more difficult it becomes to make a final decision. On dating apps, the average man will take what he can get whereas the average woman will only pick whoever she deems attractive enough and meets all of her ever-growing list of requirements. The smallest mistake and she is quick to drop you as she knows she can easily have 10+ guys interested in her at any one time and line up a date with a new guy the very next day. I’m over selling myself to someone that isn’t even interested in buying. When winning the game is a constant uphill battle, the best strategy is often simply not playing.

[@Annsunshine30]

My mum wanted a divorce, for more than the last 40 years of her life. She just couldn`t get one. since she couldn`t afford to. Nowadays women are getting more educated, getting better jobs, and can support themselves economically. And because of that, they don`t need a man. in the way they needed one before. That`s why more and more women are choosing to be single, and enjoying all the freedom it gives them these days.

[@MrBrown-rm9zl]

Notice how none of the comments are based on any logic

[@mitsuman5555]

@@EhEsDeeEf agree completely

[@livi-l5201]

“ The truth is rarely pure and never simple” ~ Oscar Wilde ~

[@artawhirler]

And Oscar should know! 😅

[@Pumpychan]

Just adding my two cents here… great sex doesn’t suffice as a love bond. As not only me but many of my other wide ranging in age friends say… great sex fades if the relationship turns into a hellscape - which the most molten hot sex-based relationships tend to do. Her malfunctions, her bad ethics, lies, lack of interest in things, and just plain old having nothing to talk about the other 23 hours of the day… guys get fed up and the value of the sex drops. The freaky move she makes (I’ll not describe, we can all recall one or other) looses its heat the 4th or 5th time around IF you find her otherwise to be a drag to be around, or an embarrassment to take with you to places, etc. If she’s hot in bed and also shares your life pursuits AND you also can hang well together in non-sexual situations (like deciding a health insurance policy…) then you have a great one. Sex doesn’t linger in the body long after you’re done. You then have to sit across each other for meals and talk blah blah… how’s that going?

[@Steelhorsecowboy]

I was pretty young when I met my wife but sex wasn't my primary attraction. I really liked her intelligence, personality, values and independence from Pop Culture. She did not follow the crowd and fiercely defended her ideas and values regardless if they were popular or not. Later on sex was a big deal but only after I felt bonded with her.

[@djk0125]

I realized all that years ago & said no way. And I have been happily single & sexless ever since & I never looked back.

[@harshvardhansharma7081]

This guy should be banned for life. No men want the way he described. If you fuck a man in a slutty way. He’ll put you as a slut only. Not someone they wanna marry. And they will chose to be with a women when they find a wife behaviours

[@viviantejada]

As a Muslim woman, I strongly disagree with the vast majority of the advice presented in this video. However, as an open minded individual, I recognize the primal need of a man to have a woman who is sexually enticing, helpful, and respectful. However, I would argue that in order to protect ourselves, we provide these traits to a man in the context of marriage. For anyone who is non-religious, I’d advise providing these benefits at least within the context of a serious relationship. The emotional trauma that comes from casual, no strings attached sex is just too damaging not only for us, but our offspring and society as a whole. Men value what they invest in and only bond through sex when they are already emotionally connected to the woman they are having sex with. We, as women, emotionally bond every time we have sex with that man even if we are not initially emotionally connected to them. In other words, we tend to “fall in love” even when men don’t. Why run the risk of falling for a man who has no emotional, financial, or social obligation towards you? Ladies, we have a lot more to lose. Forget chastity, consider your emotional well-being. This is not to shame, but rather to protect. I’m sad that this is the advice that’s out there and that young minds take it as facts. This isn’t love.

[@Chrono826]

What about what men have to lose when they marry you? Do you really think men have nothing to lose? You don't get it.

[@That1AfroedGuy]

Doc has already explained in this video that you as the woman should be properly vetting aka: "hunting" the man that you want... If you were doing that properly there would be much less risk for you because you verified the man is good prior. Men's risk starts mostly after the dependency on the woman grows.

[@goosegod9901]

who cares what you think. what the dude was explaining is how things really work.

[@richien8472]

Men's risk start from the moment they approach a woman. Men become invested from day one. If after months of dating and no sex he finds out she is not the one who lost overwhelmingly? The man.

[@Linksballs]

100% agree

[@jsadecki1]

The real way to get what you want is to BE what you want Be the person you want to attract and then consciously allow that in your life The problem is not to find love but to break down all the barriers that you have built against it If you remain in the correct space and mind that you know that you should be in your head in the universe then everything else will fall into place

[@christialuella6594]

This is true but makes me sad and angry for these young women out here. Love has been boiled literally down to transactional

[@bettywhite2694]

that's not what hes saying at all. He said to get interest from the opposite sex you need to do certain things. After that you can develop attraction for other reasons. You would never entertain a partner that wouldn't do certain things to get noticed by you

[@erwind917]

Marriage was arranged for most of human history. It was a contract to combine assets/capabilities and secure them via progeny. It was survival. The concept of falling in love naturally and doing whatever you want came with the advent of liberalism (rule of law, protection of individual rights, protection of private property) and the invention/legalization of birth control (1965 for married couples; 1972 for everyone). Women couldn’t even vote until 1920. The concepts you’re talking about are very recent in human history (let alone human evolution). Your concept of love is mythical. In reality, partnership has always been transactional. Even if you are transacting “love”, you are still transacting: giving AND receiving.

[@williamdraken6018]

It always has been. love is just a survival mechanism.

[@vinzentwallbach4251]

It has not been boiled down. It IS a transaction. We are talking about nature here. People like this doctor just remove the Hollywood filter from our eyes.

[@Alexxx492]

Marriage has always been about transaction. Love marriages have only been around for about 50 years tops and clearly, they aren't working with the divorce rate being so high.

[@nicksterp2805]

I think women want caring, kindness, loyalty. Someone that helps with the household and w raising the kids. They don't want someone obsessed w porn, drugs and alcohol. I loved the other interview did with the Pakistani psychologist

[@CatalinaFOIA]

Nailed it 💥 100% correct!

[@morgmorg19_27]

You forgot to add “someone who shuts up once in a while and allows their partners to talk about their feelings and emotions.” And that goes for both sides

[@MH-hm5cv]

Yep, and I'm one of the lucky wives of this type of husband who just happens to me insanely hot as well haha

[@jamiegilbert1516]

Most definitely!! 💯

[@okaySam]

I don't know any men who are obsessed with porn, drugs and alcohol. Probably best to not date high schoolers.

[@cococabane1]

Has anyone noticed a particular theme/narrative coming through these videos of late? I feel like the video of the divorce attorney (no a blow job a day is not the same effort as remembering to stock up on your wife's favorite cereal), the Dubai/ London therapist and now this guy. There is a hyper transactional narrative coming through often giving using outlier examples and then discussing these cases as if it's all women or all men. Now this guy saying that a woman might not get the man she wants because acting in a female simp way would potentially get her scorn from her peers. That assumes you want a guy like that! It would be really great to see some videos where you have people looking at things like attachment theory which show how much of relationship interactions are due to upbringing. So a woman could act in a way more stereotypically male because of an avoidant upbringing and a male more female (ie anxious) again due to upbringing. There are so many more factors then this base representation which appears to be increasingly presented.

[@Nazioarteko89]

It has been really disheartening. Also the last therapist talking about a good woman being submissive, what? How about both partners are caring and supportive of each other?

[@cococabane1]

@Nazioarteko89 Exactly! The Dubai/London lady. As a woman I don't recognize the representation I'm seeing. There'll be the perfunctory 'not all women'comment them they go back to speaking about their case study as if it is all women. It's really quite depressing

[@StephieGsrEvolution]

It's turning redpill and it's disappointing AF.

[@williamdraken6018]

You all are simply getting upset with objective reality. Decades of feminist social engineering, the systematic emasculization of men, along with advancement in technology has contributed to an overall upheaval of the dating market and created something that is unnatural and goes against thousands of years of biogogical evolutionary hardwiring. This shifting of ideology and sexual power dynamics is why so many, both males and females, are miserable and cant get along with each other on a romantic level anymore. Its an unnatural abomination that has been created. Whenever you try to fight nature/reality, you will lose. The things he and the other guests have been saying runs contrary to this new age feminist ideology that has been hammered into us over the last decades, and exposes it as unstable/false in the end. Thats why you dont like it, because it runs contrary to some of your core beliefs, which are unnatural, that youve held for a very long time.

[@absolince]

Yes because they are for Marc. Because Marc falls in love with his subjects

[@Alashliafam]

This should be titled "Relationships 101 for the narcissistic manchild"

[@RoscoeB44]

Or the gold digging Barbie doll?

[@SkinnyMinnie377]

😂Yes

[@michaelgill387]

BINGO

[@DivineIntervention1]

How is it for the narcissistic manchild? Then you are calling EVERYONE narcissistic man child’s huh? Cuz he simply explaining the conclusions he has came to after speaking to thousands of clients about their relationships and their love lives. There is a sprinkle of his on opinion here and there but the majority of this interview is him sharing the facts of what the men and women in this world are like and how they interact. Most of you are not seeing the big picture. This interview is not only about him. It is about humanity in our current state of being. There was no lie in this interview. For if he was lying, then all his clients must have just been fake and he was never a psychiatrist? Come on yall.. this is not a time to be in our feelings. We have to be realistic and accepting of the truth of our world. Only then can we try to make changes because now we have a basis to work from. But if we cannot accept the truth, how are we going to even begin to work on fixing our flaws? I don’t think many of y’all understand this.

[@timsimmons9995]

The eternal optimists here have their head in the sand! The national statistics don't lie. Marriage rates are the lowest in 4 generations. For those so deeply in love who commit to be together forever before God and country, go through expensive ceremonies with all family and friends as witness to their everlasting love, daring enough to marry, divorce rates are a coin toss. Only an estimated 5-15% of marriage people report being happy... Marriage is an outdated useless antique offering no benefits and all risks for men...

[@LeaMessenger]

We only listen to this for a few minutes my husband and I and then we realize this is about generalizing worldly type of people… Nothing to do really with the type of people my husband and I are or hang out with. But some of it was very true in the beginning we only listen to a few minutes. It doesn’t apply to everyone obviously.

[@atazoth_rising]

Yeah, people with spiritual principles can't really relate to this.

[@infincreations]

In my mid forties, married with kids. Absolutely recommend men focus on a purpose that transcends you the person. It will prevent you from focusing on those lustful urges.

[@stephaniemickler8208]

-Haven't made it through yet, but I concur with the previous commenter. These descriptions seem to strongly exclude healthy adults who aren't playing games with anyone and know themselves.

[@breezybumbles17]

Anybody ever heard of love or mutual respect or emotional connection and empathy?

[@BecomeConsciousNow]

The reality is, you are who you are, and you can't change that. But don't worry because the person who truly loves you, will accept you just as you are. So, don't try being someone you're not because that will only attract those people who don't love you and only want to use you for what you can give them.

[@vinzentwallbach4251]

But beware of the day your wife learns you lost your job. See about the love then.

[@eomanga]

​@@vinzentwallbach4251 Haha 😂

[@whocarescrapsa]

Sounds like an excuse to resist self-improvement to me. We are born as morons who shit our pants. No one will love us if we didn't develop skills to become better people and learn not to wet our bed. At what age does one stop developing and decide that they are who they are and can no longer change? You are not alone in your thinking. I have had many girlfriends tell me they refuse to change for anyone. They think they have no room for improvement. Thats cool. I just can't be around people that are not moving forward.

[@artomatica]

You can totally change who you are with a diligent and hard work on parts of yourself you want to improve/change. True love is curtain to hide the real life: there always should be a progress and growth. You may be loved, but will you receive the best of your partner? The real unfiltered passion and bliss? Only if you keep yourself and your relationships to a highest standards. Always be a catch and a challenge, and you will be loved.

[@vinzentwallbach4251]

@@artomatica Most people don't want to work hard on themselves after coming home from WORK day after day.

[@mauser7]

I just want to say to all of the ladies and young women out there that you don't have to have sex with a guy to "hook" him. If that is all it takes, he's not a good guy. This guy's advice is not good, in my opinion. By restricting sex you may narrow down your dating field, but it will be much more genuine. I've seen people with "great" sex lives and the rest in shambles, so I don't think that is the answer. My wife and I dated for 7 years long distance and have been married now for 15, just for reference.

[@katye02]

This so called psychologist is not too bright, and Mark being so fond of him, just shows two men who have no idea about genuine relationships. I mean mark is divorced and this psychologist doesen't even have a wife.

[@Strafeyy]

Orion is fantastic

[@dubaiedge]

Phew, thank you.

[@danawilliams5622]

13 min in and I can't even count how many times I've said wtf?! This guy is gross. He's talking like all women are good for is sex. Telling us we need to be dirty and slutty to capture a man's interest and stroke his ego? No. And how its the biggest "con" to get a man to protect and provide for you? I am SO disappointed in this interview. The interview about love and marriage with the divorce lawyer was spectacular when I thought it would be cynical. This interview is cynical when I thought it would be spectacular. 👎🏻👎🏻

[@jasonolinger7585]

I don't think you watched the whole thing, he never said to sleep with strangers, he said that women should be a freak for the man she is with no matter what if she wants him to really be into her. Being a man and seeing all of these negative comments from females is really enlightening, it all proves what he is saying to be true.

[@luckyjayakody]

Heavily divided comment section proves how interesting was the interview.

[@frankieunique5381]

What I've learnt from watching Kevin samuels is when women disagree in mass then the man is surely onto something

[@jammie2475]

@@frankieunique5381yes when they’re onto something idiotic. It’s amazing that men still want to listen to men about what women want instead of listening to actual women

[@ArcaneEiro]

​@@frankieunique5381preach bruv

[@exnihilo415]

@@frankieunique5381 Yeah, onto a toxic redpill populist opinion that leans into its bias against women.

[@georgedaviotis3016]

Great interview. Regarding disagreeable people: In a world comforted by deceit and conformity, speaking the truth-and risking being labeled an ‘asshole’-is a revolutionary act.

[@noahcockroft6859]

Not about being an asshole, it's about reductio ad absurdum The hypothesis of Orion is not gospel, just oversimplification of very complex dynamics

[@thatpart]

I found my best partner to be one that had their own 'thing' going on. A career, home, car and similar. I brought the same thing to the table from my end. This was after years of going for the "exciting", only to have it devolve into a horrible longterm relationship. Self esteem is the key. Make sure your partner has enough of it, or cracks can start to form.

[@gnarlytothemax]

explain the self esteem thing please

[@pezlover88888]

​@gnarlytothemax People with low self-esteem are like black holes of need that destroy everything in their vicinity. This is because they have needs that can never be fulfilled because what they need has to come from inside themselves, and that is the only place they won't look. A wealth of bad behaviors come from this phenomenon.

[@vettie]

@@gnarlytothemaxlove yourself before you try to love anybody else.

[@dubaiedge]

This. Otherwise you become their thing & get suffocated with all their needs. Ugly Dateline episode.

[@tiffami0412]

@@gnarlytothemax being able to leave a relationship anytime and the ability to heal 😇

[@Chickenfeet88]

This is more like the Dr. Phil brand of psychology. It's meant to entertain an audience, not really to help anybody. A real psychologist does much more listening than talking.

[@DynamicUnreal]

That’s because most people who have a psychologist in general just need someone to talk to. The psychologist fills that void that doesn’t get fulfilled in the rest of their life. However, there are tons of psychological studies done that people can learn and infer things from.

[@misterserious3522]

You should start a new Utube trend ofdedicated Listening videos. Jeeeziz!!

[@Quickmart4]

This is certainly the mainstream way of thinking and I think it's why we are dying out.

[@runningoutoftime7065]

Well remember once women were free from consequence of having sex ,sex had to come before the relationship.

[@DomnulSarb]

How are we dying out? There's like 8 billion of us and counting.

[@laice7409]

Not necessarily. I’m a woman in an extremely happy relationship. I’m not having kids because I don’t like them. Has nothing to do with my relationship.

[@kellymichelley]

​@@DomnulSarb People aren't having enough kids to replace the current population.

[@Duddits21]

@@kellymichelley Here and some other countries. There are many places where they are having plenty of kids.