A really hard week

[@joannaspicer]

Download Planta planta.sng.link/Agwes/hd0xc/dgwc Use promocode 'joanna14' for 14 days free trial on the 12-month Planta plan

[@crystalm5111]

THANK YOU! I need this

[@Kiwibird220]

Me, a woman in her late 20’s, sitting here with my perioral dermatitis and debilitating OCD being like 🫡 stay strong soldier

[@joannaspicer]

Ok twin

[@meepmoopmeep1]

Your vulnerability is so helpful to so many people. You are so skilled at expressing your emotions clearly. People who struggle with their mental health can relate, and people who haven’t experienced mental illness can hopefully better understand people who do

[@taylorn187]

Everything you said is like an exact mirror to what I’ve been experiencing anxiety wise. The pandemic completely reset years of progress and it’s so demoralizing. It’s so so embarrassing because people just don’t understand why I suddenly seem incapable or even incompetent when really I’m just in a chokehold of fear that is borderline crippling mentally. I’m so glad I watched this today ❤ You’re a star Joanna, I hope you have a great year 😊

[@Ls-wr1cg]

pls don't feel embarrassed for sharing! it's literally only helpful for everyone. I'm sorry for all of this, you're so great

[@jessicastevens7237]

Anxiety has made me miss out on so many things. But I'm grateful to know that I'm not alone, so thank you for sharing your mental health struggles. I think that's one of the most important things to remember when you feel like things are the darkest - you are not alone, you are not wrong/broken/weird, and this too shall pass. And you'll find your flock ❤😘

[@reedwinckler6346]

This is one of the best videos you've ever posted. As someone who is going through a lot of anxiety - and new anxiety that I've never felt at that - working up the courage to go to the grocery store and make yourself dinner is a good place to start. Completing one task a day is annoying and makes you feel like a lazy POS but it's fine. I have been trying to express my emotions lately and can't, but you just did. :) thank you

[@holleyshearburn2927]

I relate so so much. Please don’t feel embarrassed! My fiancé is also out of town rn while I’m having an anxiety heavy weekend and I’m like 🙃 in total cheez it mode.

[@rebeccachew1677]

I have been following you for years now and absolutely love your content. Sometimes I feel like I’m total freak because of my anxiety and I feel like I’m the only one dealing with it too. Thanks for always sharing and reminding the rest of us mentally ill people that we aren’t alone and that we shouldn’t be embarrassed!! 💕

[@christinachic6589]

“I’m mentally I’ll. You’re mentally I’ll.” We love you Joanna ❤

[@kylierussell0207]

I could not agree more about that frustration with mental illness. The last couple of weeks have been the worst anxiety I’ve had in a long time. 😔 I’m so sorry. You are not alone.

[@DontBeASadPanda]

I got married last year and at the same time was battling issues with my health which caused me to lose a bunch of weight. I wasn’t nearly where I wanted to be with gaining weight on my special day, I even had to use tape to hold my dress up… but you know what? When I see my wedding pictures all I see is the most beautiful memory with my husband and our families. I realize now how little that really mattered after the many breakdowns I had leading up to the wedding. We can only do our best with preparing for anything in life, really. Take everything as it comes and know one day you’ll look back with much kinder eyes to yourself. I certainly do. ❤

[@carlyfarrell734]

In a manic episode I decided to go stop my effexor cold turkey and felt like I was on the brink of death. Thank you so much for talking about your mental health problems it has helped me not feel so alone in this!!! ❤️❤️

[@kay6771]

I appreciate this video so much. I won’t say I understand what your week’s been like because your experiences are yours, but so many parts of this video were so so similar and almost surreal the way they relate to the stage I’m at in my life now. Currently making the transition from Cymbalta to Pristiq and I feel so seen- it truly is so hard out here. I am so so sorry for your loss. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for keeping on.

[@MyMomentswithMom]

Thank you Joanna for always being so honest about your mental health. I (mom) suffer from severe anxiety and panic attacks. Sometimes a certain "something" will set off a panic attack, but sometimes they come out of nowhere. It's hard for people who don't have anxiety to understand how a person can just start to panic. That feeling of doom and dread......the fast heartbeat ........the nausea.....the diarrhea.......the feeling you can't breathe. It's just horrible. When my daughter and I started our KZbin channel, it helped me quite a bit. Kept my mind "busy" Gave me something to focus on. She's a huge help when I am having an attack. She sits with me, tries to get me focused on something.....anything.....which helps. So I totally understand how alone you must feel when going through that and Ted isn't there. Especially in a quiet house. Turning on the tv and watching something funny, or watching KZbin videos helps. It's that distraction thing. You are such a lovely person Joanna.....funny and strong too. Sending you huge MOM HUGS!! 💗

[@magee2161]

whoa i really love the purse metaphor. thanks for sharing and showing up and being candid

[@jordansmith747]

one time I forgot my medication when I went home for christmas. I live out of state from the rest of my family and they only see me once or twice a year. With the holiday, I wasn't able to pick up my prescript for a couple of days, and that was enough to send me into a full cuckoo banana spiral. I remember feeling so embarrassed that the one time my family gets to see me I'm basically non-functioning and just physically rigid with anxiety. It was a bummer because I was actually at a great place in my life and really thriving and everyone was so worried about me during and after that time.

[@bettymakesclub8011]

I totally get what you’re talking about. I just recently went through a really bad breakup and I feel like I lost part of myself, like the part that was sure of life and not afraid to be hurt. It’s hard to get that back when now you’re aware of how far you can fall

[@lisajohnson8911]

The purse analogy is so good. I started on a mental health journey in 2020 and it got so much harder before it got better, and is still so much harder sometimes than it was before, but also better. So hard to describe to someone who has not struggled or started healing.

[@actuallyabear3501]

definitely relatable. covid really took the wind out of my sail. still working hard to get back to good. use those tools 💗

[@heidireeder8985]

Next time you feel down, come here to the comments to see how much you are adored by people who don’t even know you! Thank you for coming here and feeling safe enough to share your story.

[@tayter_chip]

fellow mentally ill girlie here! I'm sooo glad that you're honest and real on your videos. It makes me feel like I'm not alone in my struggles. It can really feel like I'm the only mentally ill one in the ENTIRE WORLD. Don't be embarrassed to share your struggles -- it's so helpful!!

[@amiesparkle00]

Found this on a UK patient site regarding possible causes of your dermatitis. “Make-up, cleansers and cosmetics applied to the area affected on the face. It may be that certain ingredients of cosmetics may act as the trigger. For example, one study found that make-up foundation seemed to be a particular provoking factor. Physical factors such as strong winds and UV light. Fluoridated toothpaste and chewing gum have been suggested as possible triggers. Yeasts and germs (bacteria) that live on the skin and in hair follicles have been suggested as a possible trigger. (However, perioral dermatitis is not just a simple skin infection.) Hormone factors may play a part, as some women find that the rash becomes worse just before a period. The oral contraceptive pill may be a factor in some cases.

[@meris2024]

The crystal figurine really hit home. Sending love, you’re not alone ❤

[@kirstendavis2773]

Same.

[@Biscoffspread]

Love your videos like this. They make me feel less alone tbh.

[@cdirtycashh]

I’m really glad you’re open about your mental health. Birds of a feather after all 😉 I have had so much guilt over events I couldn’t make it to because of my mental health. And I relate so much to being set back so much from the pandemic. I was in such a good place mentally right before the pandemic. Probably the best place I have ever been in and then it all just crashed and I haven’t been able to get back. Not even close. And it’s so hard to process that. Thank you for sharing. It really makes me feel less alone. 🖤

[@isabellasantiago6473]

“So my little Amelie, your bones aren’t made of glass-you can take life’s knocks” I actually had to pause the video when you said you wished you could have picked something else besides being mentally ill when you were created; this is a thought I’ve had too many times before. Take care of yourself Joanna, thank you for being so vulnerable and know that you helped me feel less alone ❤

[@elektroklash87]

Sending you so much love, Joanna. ❤ I missed a close friend’s funeral a couple years ago because of my anxiety, so I really felt this. Something a friend told me that has helped is that funerals are really for the living, and you’ll have plenty of opportunities to support those folks in different ways that are more possible for you right now (I’m sure you already are!). Anyway, I’ve followed you for a while now and your frank, raw discussions of mental health have made me feel less alone in some really dark times - and I know I’m not the only one. So thank you! You really are making a difference ❤

[@melaniebaldwin6691]

Yay! Love Planta!!! Love your honesty and sharing your stories and struggles. Depression and anxiety really does mess with day to day life. It's hard to describe to people unless they've been through it themselves. Keep fighting. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you're not alone. ❤

[@katieboyd150]

Feel this so hard especially about fear and not living how you want to be living ❤️

[@woonsckt]

This video was so helpful, you're amazing

[@kelseyboyer1010]

Yes Joanna, I can relate to not living how I want. I feel frozen in a young and scared version of my self. I’m drowning. I’m here with you. You’ve helped me in so many ways.

[@beaniedewitt]

You are correct, I am in fact mentally I’ll as well. 😂 I also have an anxious dog that is equally as overstimulating. All that matters is that we are doing are best though!! Thank you for always being so open. It makes me feel less alone 💗

[@briiittaaany]

Thank you for sharing!! And creating a sense of community.

[@Forestsfernsandfries]

The house tour escort by Maybe had me laughing out loud. Cats truly are next level, and I have one that constantly campaigns for food so I often have a feline shadow as well.

[@FrannieMyers]

Yes to everything you said!! I recently got diagnosed with OCD, and while it has been relieving to understand why I live in constant fear, I am also so angry that I was born with a brain that fires this way. Mental health can be so hard to accept when the solution isn't as simple as exercise, eating healthy, and deep breathing techniques.

[@princess_trinket]

I had a major mental health crisis In December 2022. It was so bad that I had to take medical leave from work (and honestly the job was part of the reason my mental health was so bad). I'm now realizing that I repressed a lot of stuff my entire life and it finally caught up to me. I'm doing better, but I still feel kind of lost. I totally get where you're coming from, and you aren't alone in feeling the way you do.

[@joannaspicer]

I totally understand this. Something my therapist always says to me is progress not perfect. ❤️

[@christineesparza5417]

I just adore you as a person even though i don’t know you haha💞 i hope when you watch these videos back while editing them they give you some sort of peace as you watch yourself talk through how you’re feeling.

[@tesskohout]

100% can relate to this. It seems like my meds used to work so much better prior to the pandemic and I was fearless. But in reality I did still have panic attacks back then and was just trying to ignore them. Now my anxiety is at a constant and I have trouble leaving my house. Everyday is challenging because the fear is so overwhelming! But I know we can get through this. I miss traveling and not second guessing everything I do. The pandemic really messed me up and I was also stuck in a bad relationship during it. I hope you know how much you help people by sharing your journey. Love you. We will get through this

[@joannaspicer]

Wishing you the best ❤️

[@maxonrylee]

Mentally doing the same, tried meds didn’t go well for me, can’t afford therapy so I’m just in a constant state of panic. But this helps to relate. Thanks for sharing

[@whithehearthro]

The Loop that you talked about is honestly a revelation for me. Hearing you talk about it has made me realize what I’ve been feeling for the last few years.

[@sasscam]

This was so relatable to me! You're not alone xxxx

[@vilkenstrutzutzutz]

I LOVE that planter!!!

[@Joni-mc7lu]

I can SO relate to what you said about the fear of becoming mentally unwell holding you back from really living the life you want. I feel that way constantly and I think the way you said it was spot on. Personally I worry about being so stressed that I’ll find my mental health falling apart. Like I feel semi stable now so the thought of possibly ruining that is scary. Hopefully we can all find a way to achieve our goals while balancing our mental well being 🤍 sending love to everyone who feels this thanks for sharing Joanna

[@emrae_]

I didn't realize how badly the pandemic affected me mentally until fairly recently. I had the same paralyzing fear of everything, and guilt on top of that for feeling like i was in "limbo", just going through the daily motions but not truly living. So i made a list on my phone of all the things i really wanted to do, but couldn't bring myself to do. It was mostly simple stuff, like checking out new cafés or stores or parks i'd never been to in my city. And now I look at that list, almost 2 years later and just about everything is crossed off. It reminds me that I am living even when i dont feel like i am, and that i do have the strength to get out and see the things i want to see. I can't wait for a 'Best Week Ever' vlog from you. I know it's coming ❤

[@clairedennis9483]

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. Traumatising is definitely a valid word for it all. Sending lots of good vibezzz across the Atlantic! I’ve been there with not being able to travel to support a partner and it’s the most conflicting anxiety and guilt ever.

[@becca5016]

yesss totally relate to covid setting me back, i was just starting to push myself trying to make new friends/dealing with my social anxiety and now im back at square one. i try not to compare my present self to my past self but its hard. we went through a pandemic and it was hard! we have to give ourselves that. all we can do is take it day by day

[@joannaspicer]

Yes ❤️

[@ernacebolla1288]

It’s so hard to stay gentle with yourself when it feels like anxiety and depression are holding you back and like their death grip will never loosen. I always try to remember that bad days don’t erase progress ❤

[@katierose1234]

I totally get everything you're saying. I've always struggled with social anxiety, but ever since the pandemic I feel like its gotten worse almost to the point I feel agoraphobic now almost. like I cant leave the house unless my husband goes with me. I don't even want to go out to my mailbox sometimes cause someone might see me and judge me. It's just debilitating and it sucks cause so many people don't really understand.

[@felicitycrow]

bought the not another cherry scent by finery in target & i love it ! thanks for recc~

[@knitwearqueen]

Thank you so much for your honesty in this vlog :) You said so many things that really resonate with me, and it's just so nice to know that I'm not the only one going through it. xxx

[@karenhessing8101]

i never ever feel more seen than when i watch your videos, i always go back to them when i feel like i’m alone in this. we will get through it, sending you so much love and support 💕

[@samigirl1853]

You are such a warrior. So brave❤️

[@pamwishbow8826]

Not me riddled with anxiety and depression making piles of stuff in my house I never leave feeling always very seen in your videos. I hope these videos are cathartic or helpful to you to make

[@astridumanzor1102]

Anxious person here 🙋🏻‍♀️Don’t ever feel embarrassed about telling us how you are feeling!! We all love you and will always watch your videos!!

[@lemonjuice1977]

Honestly as a 30 year old mentally ill cat mom, this is the content I need. Quarantine really ruined my progress as well. It feels like no one else relates, so I appreciate you sharing.

[@paigeee1851]

I recommend the book No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz ❤

[@saralynnyoung1456]

Fellow mental health friend here! Thanks for saying what most of us are too scared to say! 💜

[@arielfeasts]

Baby i am HERE for this content lol I am super duper mentally ill and highly resonate with how much it can feel like parts of our lives are stolen. I'm flying to Italy for a trip with friends next month and while I'm excited it's such a long flight and it gives me so much stress worrying about whether I'll have a panic attack or not. I've always felt so seen by you talking about your plane anxiety too. None of this is your fault (I also blame myself for my illness) and it just fucking sucks.

[@heyheyhey7988]

Birds of a feather DO flock together. My mentally illness regularly and deeply effects every aspect of my life and it's very isolating and effects parts of your life in such a nuanced way. Especially the guilt and shame that come with it. You only truly understand that if you go through it. I'm so sorry you deal with it=(

[@allen6592]

god i feel you! i've missed three days of my snri because of chaotic life things and the withdrawal is so bad. the fact that i have hay fever rn doesn't help haha

[@joannaspicer]

Omg get well soon. 3 days would do me in 🫠

[@kristin7762]

Joanna, You are doing important work sharing your experience. You are helping thousands of us feel less alone in being mentally ill. On top of that, you’re funny and smart and I like you in the parasocial sense I guess, but I truly care and relate deeply to what you’re saying. I get the travel anxiety, the guilt over not being able to go see your partner’s family, the brutal SNRI withdrawal, the cheez-its for dinner, the love for your cat, and the wish that you had ANYTHING other than a mental illness. This got intense. Let me pull back. I got married when I didn’t feel comfortable in my body (and didn’t have a lot of money to spend on a dress) so I went to a seamstress, brought her photos and sketches of a top I knew I’d feel good in, and wore it over a long vintage cotton slip. I wore a massive flower crown and green shoes and it was really fun and easy-feeling. Just saying maybe think outside the box? Anyhoo, sending you parasocial love and support ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@r.c.3614]

@ 12.20 I totally get that if I miss an SSRI dose it's "palinopsia' & I kind of hear the visual too trailing behind, in a way, like the 9 Million Dollar Man when he's jumping 😂 & I hear POPs & hisses. It physically feels like my head is like fuzzy. I dunno, man.

[@LinaHundt]

I am so sorry to hear about Ted's loss. Trying to be a supportive partner while going through your own issues can be so draining. You are so loved and so seen, in person and virtually. I am so sorry for how you and your close ones are struggling.

[@Jannabelle126]

Sending so much love to you! 💗

[@shutupalex_901]

joanna! girl. in the least creepy way, i ADORE you and feel comfortable even saying i LOVE you for who you are which is literally insane to say but i truly mean it. we are so similar and i feel like i genuinely see and feel you on every level and so many of us relate! in the midst of my mental health struggles (the exact things you struggle with) i also forget that i’m not the only person on the planet that feels the way i do, so hearing you express yourself fills these lonely gaps inside of me that i feel trapped in so often. you are seriously such a beautiful person and it actually HURTS that we can’t be friends irl! literally kill me this is so cheesy but your light shines through even in your darkest moments that you share with your little community here ❤️ trust me when i say we all genuinely love and care for you! edit: i posted this before i finished bc i felt a wave of emotion that i needed to express **IMMEDIATELY** but covid also caused me to regress as well, but it wasn’t until afterwards. i worked at trader joe’s for years and was there throughout the course of the pandemic and it was so traumatizing fearing for my life every day while simultaneously getting yelled at by mf anti-maskers and trump supporters (i live in memphis) BUT it wasn’t until later that i actually realized what a number it did on me. i was diagnosed at the end of 2020 with bipolar 2 after a serious depressive episode, in which i didn’t attend work for almost two weeks. after starting therapy and getting on medication, my anxiety felt worse than ever because i could finally reach it for the first time in my life if that makes sense so now i’m like alright cool loving this. i had cleaned out (obviously still a process) all my other mental health problems from my purse and was left with crippling anxiety that i’ve been trying to navigate without going on a third medication. funny how no matter where you were or what you were experiencing during the pandemic, we all fucking ended up in the same place afterwards. so ANYYYYYWAYYYY tldr; i relate and thank u. sorry for writing a novel on your post i will be embarrassed in 5 minutes xoxo

[@mmcintyrable]

This is such a kind comment and I feel the same way as you about Joanna

[@lesliezaragoza6928]

holy shit that plant app is amazing

[@Shamrock17964]

love ya girlie!

[@sarahrose1122]

In the future when you need to go East, could you try the train from CA to NY then drive from there to avoid flying?

[@porcelainegg]

hi i haven’t even gone through half of the video but omg you would look so good with dark short hair again!

[@kirstendavis2773]

You called it, we’re all mentally ill, too. Diagnosed even. ❤

[@caraamethyst6956]

no offense, but we are basically 🌟mental illness twinsies 🌟 anxiety (ocd, emetophobia, tics like 'hard' blinking etc), depression, adhd, and more i can't even remember at the moment. truly, your videos are a huge comfort to me. it's as if you are the only other person i've found that REALLY gets what it's like to be me. even with my friends who are also mentally ill, no one is as relatable to me as you hahahha

[@sabrinasjourney]

Cute kitty 😻 She was trying to tell you something..

[@Dreamgirlinc]

I came here for cute makeup I stay for the ocd content as you make me feel less like an alien fr bc what is ocd like who is that I do not like them and they’re always at my house and in my general space it’s the rudest thing. All ur ocd thoughts are the same as mine birds of a feather my guy, ocd is the most intrusive disorder it intuitively knows when ur life is too chaotic for an ocd spiral and it gives you one as a test it’s so mean Ty for this monologue I will refer to it when I feel too mentally ill to relay thoughts to others x

[@lori6704]

Mental illness can feel so isolating and exhausting. It’s so hard to be alone in those moments and not want to entirely evaporate. I’m going through the process of getting diagnosed with POTS and I feel SO DAMN ANNOYING all the time. I promise you’re not alone but it absolutely does suck.

[@Amy-qb4tk]

The SNRI brain zaps are REAL! No one knows what tf I'm talking about when I try to explain them. I used to go through Cymbalta withdrawal a lot because I was sensitive enough where I had to take it the same time every day, which I was not good at because duh... mentally ill. But that visual lag with the borderline hallucinations are fucked up and I never want anyone to experience them because they are just so unlike anything else in the world. Thanks for making videos that make me feel valid and seen! ❤

[@maireadosullivan9387]

My Perioral Dermatitis cleared up when I stopped using products that contained Niacinamide

[@lilliputianhitcher3808]

i’m the idiot who went off cymbalta cold turkey. had the worst brain zaps and dizzy spells and panic attacks for like 2 weeks

[@joannaspicer]

Oh man I can’t imagine

[@stmuscatello]

the osmosis beauty rescue (epidermal repair) serum is what finally cured my perioral dermatitis!

[@lmt16]

I'm just curious is there no way you could have driven instead of fly? I know flight anxiety is real it's awful

[@joannaspicer]

Unfortunately not because the funeral was the next day

[@lmt16]

@@joannaspicer oh ugh. Anxiety waits for no one it's the worst.

[@moniquehughes8810]

The only thing that truly helped me with my anxiety long term was doing one of Sheryl Paul’s courses. Her book The Wisdom of Anxiety is life changing ❤

[@tesskohout]

The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts is also a good read with similar title :) I’m going to check out Sheryl Paul!

[@rachelholsonback289]

Sheryl is freaking amazing!! Changed my life

[@lilliputianhitcher3808]

also i feel you with the pandemie bringing all this mental health stuff up the surface again; i was in remission from agoraphobia for many years up until 2020. it suuuuuuucks

[@MrsChattyCathy]

Make a tiny clay plane, with a tiny YOU getting on it. Have fun. Feel better.

[@katya_vee]

Birds of a feather gang!!! You got this!

[@jacquelinemoore5728]

brain zaps are THE WORST

[@1SarahEliza]

My cat only follows me for food. 😭

[@abigailrae4118]

Withdrawal is awful. I have medication processing issues so I have to completely withdrawal every time I switch meds (typically people cross taper or supplement with something). Often people are in the hospital for that if it is not a slow drawn out withdrawal. Sadly it only gets worse after those initial symptoms. Just affirming you are not a wimp and it is awful and really off-putting! Also - I didn't know you had plane anxiety! I have the same thing. It is very hard. Sending love and never feel embarassed, the world doesn't need more perfect put together influencers. At all.

[@vilkenstrutzutzutz]

❤❤❤!!!

[@Soondiss]

Mentally ill girlies for lyfe! ✊🏻We should start a club.

[@princessleah187xx4]

Bring April back on your channel. She was soooooooooo hilarious.

[@joshuajones4650]

I am genuinely curious I don't mean any hate but does the medication you're on or something cause you to blink a lot in this video I noticed it and never saw you do it before. It's like a constant blink you're doing hope you're ok

[@joannaspicer]

No that’s an anxiety tic I’ve had forever but flares up more when I’m extra anxious.

[@joshuajones4650]

Oh ok I thought it might be that I hope it doesn't seem rude to ask I was just curious and only wish you the best. Anxiety is absolutely crippling

[@vanessavaillant6829]

hello mentally ill friends

[@eleanorl3874]

Are you on Effexor? those withdrawals are insane. Have you tried weed for anxiety?

[@anotherbubble85]

Girl we are definitely birds of a feather 🪶 The way you talked about your anxiety and mental health in general is almost exactly how I feel. The frustration at having to “play it safe” all the time is so real. It makes me so sad and angry and I carry a lot of shame about it. I also always ask the “why did I get mental health issues?” Question all the time too. I also recently came off an SNRI (venlafaxine) during an anxiety episode and I legit thought i was losing my mind. I had vertigo and that delayed slow motion you talked about. I also felt so detached from reality (not like delusions but disassociated) and all I could do was lie still or sleep. It was horrendous and I never ever want to do it. Why the hell my GP said I could come off then in 4 days (able was putting me on to another drug) I’ll never know. Idiot. And another thing - I also get perioral dermatitis regularly and like you I also have a flare up and am on doxecyline right now. Nothing else works. It’s a joke and I’m low key concerned about becoming resistant to them and then wtf am I going to do?!? Do you find that you get your flare ups with your anxiety/distress is worse? I definitely do and I’m convinced it’s related to cortisol levels as women in general are more prone to it as they think it’s hormonally linked. Anyway. I just thought I’d add some love from a kindred spirit across the Atlantic - maybe it will make you feel less Alone to know you’re not the only one. ❤