AA Destroying The Social Lives Of Thousands Of Once-Fun Americans

In The Know panelists discuss how Alcoholics Anonymous wreaks havoc on the friendships of Americans by turning the 'life of the party' into a sanctimonious bore.

[@neonshoji]

My step-father died as a result of his sobriety. He was coming home from an AA meeting when a raccoon jumped out in front of his car. He immediately swerved and ran head-first into a telephone pole. All the doctors said that he probably wouldn't even had noticed that damn raccoon if he had been drinking. Even just a couple shots and a PBR could have saved his life...

[@Celisar1]

Brilliant! Completely logic and yet so idiotic, it is perfect 👍

[@jackscott6393]

Has it gotten any easier in the eleven years since this happened?

[@Brainles5]

This is such a good joke. Did this person come up with it?

[@shaltoloki6226]

Sorry for your trauma!!

[@pantsedjuniorhayseed4816]

really not funny

[@SorryBones]

Yeah, my dad beating me in a drunken rage helped me build character as a kid, even if I didn’t like it at the time. Now I’m an alcoholic too, and do the same to my son. AA breaks these healthy cycles and Americans need to know

[@lennyjay8390]

SorryBones Exactly! Nothing makes you cooler or more mysterious as a man than being traumatized to the core 😤☝🏼

[@TheBoon14]

Khaled Rapp LOL how’s that a relevant comment

[@MrCmon113]

I've been drinking since I was - 9 months old and I turned out fine.

[@summerskull9379]

At least he wasn't an AAlcoholic

[@arandomzoomer4837]

@metaphysicalgraffiti This video and the comments are satire.

[@jks2389]

I agree with this. I used to be an alcoholic before I became a raging alcoholic.

[@BAZZAROU812]

Some people can't handle their booze

[@C-ListLover]

All that matters is that you recognize your mistakes and get shit-faced every night of the week.

[@collinhennessy6480]

@@BAZZAROU812 Some people can't handle sobriety.

[@CaveyMoth]

I used to be a homosexual before I became a flaming homosexual. Now I'm positively.... Okay, I'm drunk right now.

[@lorrainecurry9808]

Hahaha

[@shannonmcdowell336]

That look on his face as he is just bewildered by all the others is so funny. He had no idea his sobriety was hurting his family. Priceless

[@roxanardh]

1:49

[@TIYX]

The not so funny thing is that sobriety does hurt a family sometimes. My dad was a drinker. Never violent from it, but over all enjoyable when drunk. He got sober and went to AA. Now he is like a drone. Super religious and no fun to be around because of it. Only ever talks about religion. He maybe heathier because of his sobriety but it is now like his brain has switched off and has been replaced with cult like programming. I have meet other AA people who ended up the same. All drones, all without their once thoughtful way of seeing the world. All replaced with a hint of AA slogans and BS bible verses.

[@notforsaletoday1895]

@@TIYX interesting.

[@shootembadguys5688]

Wasn't that kind of the whole point of this video? Sorry to hear about your dad though, although I'm glad he's sober. The living hell that is addiction is awful.

[@_ChristIsTheTruth]

​@@TIYX Sounds like you're full of jealousy and envy. That's a you problem.

[@AlleyCat-em1ih]

"I didn't realise my sobriety was hurting my family" LOL

[@mmetalhead2992]

Hahahahahaha

[@yanenn2151]

That’s the best part of the video

[@Grgrqr]

David.... take this.

[@StevenBohnel]

The "You are obnoxious" gets me every time.

[@bradford_shaun_murray]

2:26 ... he's back ...

[@dennycrain8384]

I can understand where these people are coming from. One of my friends used to be bipolar; he was awesome, the life of every party. This one time he took a group of us to Mexico and bought us all yachts with his mom's credit card even though he only worked at Burger King as a cashier and had no way of paying them back. Then the stupid psychiatrists pumped him full of drugs and now it's, "I can't go to this party,", "I can't go cheat at a Mafia-run casino,", "I have to go to work". It sucks.

[@harleylicol3653]

8 years and im the first comment, this is an achievement for me

[@vestibulate]

@@harleylicol3653 First comment for eight years! Don't they give you a pin to wear or a certificate?

[@unndunn1]

😂😂😂

[@scee8474]

Almost a decade, where’s he at now

[@snazzle9764]

@@scee8474 probably dead

[@IanR1205]

If you think AA meetings are a bore, try attending a AAA meeting. Ugh.

[@insertunique7551]

OH OH OH DON'T GET ME STARTED ON AAAA

[@trentthompson627]

Ever heard of AARP? That shit succccckkkkkkksssss

[@CaveyMoth]

I have AA batteries

[@genericprofile2381]

Idk man, I'd personally love to go to a meeting with Alcoholic Armadillos. Sounds like a great time.

[@harrylane4]

AAA cured me of my addiction to alcoholics anonymous

[@TheHaiku2]

All I know know is my life got better when I swapped from CNN to The Onion. Real reporting. Real journalism.

[@None-Trick_Pony]

I used to watch CNN and FOX to laugh at them, but after I found The Onion, CNN and FOX have become absolutely infuriating. Now that I know what's 100% true and objective, the extent of their manipulation has become clear. The only solution is to blow up the news satellite that beams down all of the news to earth.

[@morethan3756]

However, if you like a good joke, turn to CNN.

[@was3513]

I never even watched the news until I started watching The Onion about a week or two ago.

[@rubyhillman1859]

A real extreme challenge is to make a playlist with The Onion and CNN shuffled together and just listen and trying to decide which is which!

[@gianna526]

@@rubyhillman1859 Well I recognize the Onion reporters so unfortunately that wouldn't work for me, but it's just the best thing to send a news video to a friend and have them freak out only to tell them that it was satire the next day.

[@tylerbonser7686]

I was so close to joining AA. This video saved my social life!

[@rometotalsam]

I lost the girl I was gonna marry to it. It’s a fucking cult. You can beat your problem on your own without drinking coffee with strangers every day and giving a strange person undefined control over your social life.

[@vikingkrigare5329]

It all depends on how deep you get into it. I’m an AA member and a CA member but I am not one of those people who can’t have a normal discussion with someone without getting into the twelve steps and the program. I myself hate that. But I take whatever good things I find and hear when I am at meetings. That keeps me sober. At least for a while. Last couple of years I’ve had a really bad addiction to Buprenorphine and that shit is damn hard to beat. But we’ll see, one day at a time. I like that with AA. Well I just really wanted to say that not everyone becomes an AA-robot. Just look for the things that seems to be something for you. Leave the rest in the coffee cup

[@aceman0000099]

@@vikingkrigare5329 how is your addiction 5 months later?

[@vikingkrigare5329]

@@aceman0000099 thanks for asking! actually I'm just about to enter subuxone-program. I just can't beat the opiates. But will still go to AA

[@andressauvage7738]

@@vikingkrigare5329 Hope you're doing well brother, please take care of yourself!

[@HeavyK.]

I have been sober for a long time. This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[@hush-615]

You need help, Ken. Take a sip of this bourbon.

[@mrj4990]

Did you ever confront the issues that enticed you to become emotionally numb through drinking?

[@runcaz7802]

Good man! Knock it back!

[@wesidk5662]

Good job man, I really think it makes you a stronger person

[@raymondmassenburgii902]

Ur part of the problem.

[@andrewf4623]

“Confront them! Ask them what’s in your cup, what’s the matter why aren’t you drinking?!” 😂😂

[@brendanburgess2071]

As someone who is newly sober that would be the worst thing ever

[@Lollita23]

One of the best lines🤣

[@airmason14]

The genius of these skits 🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️

[@JimboJuice]

@@brendanburgess2071 have you drank?

[@brendanburgess2071]

@@JimboJuice nope. Still going strong

[@Enjoymentboy]

What's really funny is that, for an addict, this is what it is really like when they get sober. Lived it first hand. I've had people actually get angry with me because I was able to get sober when they weren't. lol

[@mikemagliozzi8160]

I'm 3 years sober in a month and I'm only 23. I didn't go thru what you went thru my experience was a little different. Everyone wanted me to get sober but when I did finally get sober they all hated me. They acted like they cared until they knew I wasn't killing themselves and then all the resentment they had for my past actions became a huge negative presence in my life. Just because I hit a family of 5 while drunk driving killing the 3 kids inside the car (1 was an infant) they aren't able to congratulate me/praise me for the sobriety I have or accept me back into society as a reformed addict. Like do they not realize how hard it was for me to get sober?

[@Enjoymentboy]

@@mikemagliozzi8160 First off: Good for you for getting, and staying, sober. No matter what, just remember how hard it was and that you NEVER want to go through that again. Secondly: Part of the difficulties we have to face is the reality of our actions when we were using, irrespective of what our addiction was. Our behaviours were affected and usually negatively. But we did it and we have to own up to it. Thirdly: The ONLY person you should be seeking forgiveness from is yourself. I've learned that no one owes it to us and often people only forgive others to make themselves feel better so they no longer have to carry the burden of the anger they feel. You cannot control how others feel about the things you may have done in the past but what you can control is the things you do in the future. Time is on your side here and if these people truly care about you their feelings will likely change for the better the longer they see you staying sober and making good choices. A little self-sacrifice is always a good thing so doing things for others, without any intent or expectation of compensation, will help you all. Best you can do going forward is to just be your best self, learn from your mistakes and do your best. You know right from wrong and as long as you keep on that road things will get easier. Maybe not easy but easier.

[@mikemagliozzi8160]

@@Enjoymentboy I was being sarcastic 😭😂

[@Enjoymentboy]

@@mikemagliozzi8160 My apologies for being empathetic.

[@jodiehardy7220]

@@Enjoymentboy congratulations on your sobriety it’s sad someone would make a comment like that. I hope you are able to continue :)

[@joaquindplanc9826]

Member of AAA 12 years running and proud to say I've never been stranded by side of the road in all that time. Changed my life.

[@dannyglover8217]

God bless i also was saved by AAA

[@whatsonyourhead]

"....I didn't realise that my sobriety was hurting my family." "Well it is, David." "It's hurting all of us."

[@HappyBazinga]

Well at least my dad hasnt joined AA yet thats why i still get regularly new electronics beacuse the old ones break

[@unbannable7551]

My dad was bipolar his ass was calmer when he was shit faced 🤦‍♂️

[@AngryLoo]

"I used to have a very close friend, but he gave up drinking. Now he won't even answer the phone when I call, screaming incorherently at 2 am, just to sing Rolling Stones songs like we used to at the bar after work right across the street."

[@MartinJoyceUFOConspiracy]

This panel are a bunch of horse's asses...some people need A.A. more than others, some are sicker than others and need more recovery...I go to a few meetings a week...this panel is bizarre...who would want to deny someone the recovery they need to get sober so they can hang on to their job and their family... A.A.s don't knock people who want to party...but those few of us who need to get sober: we don't have to wear a lampshade on our head any more and call that fun...don't have to wake up with a hangover feeling like crap and calling that fun...not everyone--even those out of A.A.--think that getting drunk is so great...besides, even when I was drinking...I sure as hell wouldn't be drinking with these boring schmucks.

[@AngryLoo]

Martin Joyce Sincere point well made, but I think this entire 'panel' is fictitious and satirical. It's comedy.

[@cdubbleu2581]

Martin Joyce The Onion is all satire. It's just a joke.

[@MartinJoyceUFOConspiracy]

If so, I don't get it.

[@cdubbleu2581]

Really? You ever see Saturday Night Live or Mad TV... This is a comedy skit just like those other shows do, these are not real news people they are actors performing a comedy skit.... See a lot of you AA people are way to easily influenced that you cant even recognize satire.

[@billharris1847]

As an alcoholic and a member This is effing hilarious. Onion is great and this is my number one favorite The ability to laugh at the past with other alcoholics is the number one thing keeping me sober The fellowship is the thing for me not the steps

[@JP-vz1xs]

Yeah maybe you don't have the problem so much? Or maybe you're heading for relapse? If you can stop drinking without needing to undergo the fundamental change prescribed in the book then you're not an alcoholic

[@billharris1847]

@@JP-vz1xs In all the meetings I attend being able to laugh at some of the stupid BS I did and vent about "normal" people is the most important thing of all in me identifying that this is what I was so I could take step one

[@JP-vz1xs]

@@billharris1847 I can't deny it if it works for you. But the power of reading the doctors opinion that only those steps towards god will actually work is powerful to me, having had a church background. Anyway I wish you well brother

[@billharris1847]

@@JP-vz1xs Agreed Each recovery is unique though they frequently have much in common I'm in tune with my higher power. First thing the counselor at the recovery center I entered ( she is nearly 25 years sober from hard drugs and a youth minister ) Told me is never do anything to jeopardize someone else's recovery Please be well

[@billharris1847]

@@JP-vz1xs It's totally cool Please stay with us I had a therapist say your mind isn't totally cleared for a year which I thought was stupid but each month things got better and a year was right There were many lulls and some depressing times but every time I made it past the lows I got to experience joy Either family relationships improving or a fellow member hitting a milestone or a newcomer It's a harder way to live but it's worth it

[@TCt83067695]

*Thousands butchered as census enters second phase* 😂😂😂

[@jabberw0k812]

*'its final phase'

[@TapOnX]

It was only a few dozen people, and mostly due to typhus

[@Shalkar]

Plot Twist: Coronavirus was released by the Census takers because they're tired of counting so many people

[@TCt83067695]

@@Shalkar I knew it!

[@Shalkar]

@@TCt83067695 🌈The More You Know🌈

[@willdabeast567]

The visual gag at the end where the AA guy is still chugging the bottle fucking killed me

[@palmerjacob39]

Live relapse. I see a reality show in there somewhere.

[@anotheraggieburneraccount]

Sobriety is the new alcoholism

[@shartlover420]

2 true

[@avaborch-solem2300]

What

[@RstmMkdB]

True They should give blunts at aa meetings to avoid this issue

[@arikalamari19]

it may be true during prohibition, but your comment is just weird

[@santi2683]

This is so touching to me, it always breaks my heart when I'm at a party and my AA friends won't join our vodka drinking and puking contest, I hope these people realize how much they are hurting the people around them and change for the better

[@Goodbrew84]

I work with inmates, and when they get released and inevitably come back to jail, they all have the same story, "I said no 100 times. But all it took was one yes to end up here again."

[@wii3willRule]

That's really sad

[@luciferchrist4682]

Thats natrual selection, the good criminals dont get caught and the dum ones do

[@Goodbrew84]

@@luciferchrist4682 a lot of criminals in jail are pretty smart guys. It isn't their "dum" that gets them in jail; it's more closely tied to things like normalizations of substance abuse and violence in their lives, manipulation from other criminals, untreated mental illness, trauma, etc... Put most of these guys in a better environment and they do better - but we don't tend to do that because we don't want to invest resources into it. We'd rather spend 100k after the crime than 10k to prevent the crime.

[@luciferchrist4682]

@@Goodbrew84 I can say from my experience as a homeless I.v. drug user for 3 years of a incalculable amount of illegal activity with no jail time

[@drcgaming4195]

how many handjobs do they pay now for smokes in this covid-struck economy?

[@kazkazimierz1742]

Sobriety certainly hurt my family. I would still be married to the same woman if I hadn't quit drinking.

[@AlleyCat-em1ih]

LOL

[@Marchautowerks]

Gold

[@billharris1847]

I'm sure she was a real winner

[@kazkazimierz1742]

@@billharris1847 I thought so when I married her but time alters one's view.

[@ChalkyHonky]

Everyone should get divorced atleast once.- "Charlie Murphy" not the actor some crazy old man I worked with he was fun.

[@shaleenacampbell-case4589]

My stomach turned when he smelled the Jack D. lolz the news crew are straight savages on that peer pressure

[@karakas9905]

It's for his own good.

[@millertime6178]

I don’t blame him he’s in gods hands

[@turdferguson2982]

I've been off of the booze for a month. I owe my sobriety to Xanax, Adderall and Oxycontin. I wouldn't be able to get out of bed without it!

[@ramendude4062]

I thought xanax was a depressant?

[@turdferguson2982]

@@ramendude4062 you're a depressant, fucking nerd.

[@TheBoon14]

Me but with just the adderall, xans are for night time duh

[@expensivepink7]

HAHAHAHA

[@turdferguson2982]

@Bob, I have no idea what you mean.

[@immortalsun]

Finding an old The Onion video you haven’t watched is truly a treasure.

[@ohneon1998]

same here

[@djentile7773]

I cant stand when my friend doesnt repeat himself over and over again while screaming loudly in my garage and tripping over things. He's a real bummer to hang with these days after getting clean.

[@davidsavage8333]

He's not screaming loudly he's drunk whispering

[@8anos7]

I'm Greek and I'm in aa. At first I thought they were talking for real and I kind of became angry. But now I have to give it to you. It was one of the most refreshing video after a long time.

[@deefable]

@@Madhattersinjeans pretty sure you're thinking of AAA, like triple a

[@pryingeyes1551]

@@deefable I don't think the American Automobile Association services the UK.

[@Cjnw]

Ouzo is a hella Hellada drug! 😀

[@randominternetguy3537]

Their acting is way better than it has any right to be.

[@calvinkhalesi8123]

Just casually mentioning that you're Greek despite the lack of relevance haha

[@iknowallthesadsongs2115]

She brought out that colt 45!!!

[@micktoney7704]

Eh. It's pretty gross and not all that cheap for the ABV

[@usakira428]

That was her 4th one

[@ruben1475]

Looking up what a colt 45 is probably put me a on a list somewhere

[@shadegreen5351]

@@ruben1475 pronably the list of people who didn't drink beer in high school or college. "40 ounces for $0.99? thank you i will take 4 please. also, a dutch master."

[@pryingeyes1551]

@@micktoney7704 But it works every time.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

In EVERY onion video. there is always someone who says that other people don't know it's satire

[@triskle3985]

Wow... Someone said it lmao...

[@morganhillfightclub2996]

Shutup pretend its real

[@samanthamccormick7865]

Don’t you know this is satire? Please tell me this is a joke!

[@MartianMoon]

If you sort comments by most recent, you’ll find there actually are people who don’t understand that it’s satire

[@markflierl1624]

It's not satire! It's the TRUTH! AA is a disease. By the way, I've been drinking!

[@johnnyguit-fiddle2088]

Lol, my Mom is like this anytime anyone in our family has a drink. She was never in AA, but shes had a lot of people in her family become alcoholics, so now, even if you haven't drank for months, and then you go out to dinner for someone's birthday and get a glass of wine or try an aged whiskey with your steak, she'll just look at you, won't talk to you for the rest of dinner, and then she'll call you when you get home and then talk to you about how she wishes you didn't drink. It used to be funny, but it gets pretty aggravating after a decade.

[@rjkessler]

Take this drink, Johnny. It'll be OK.

[@internetbodhi1009]

My mother does the same thing, but drinks wine with dinner. And she's >100lbs. God forbid you had a few beers with pizza. Even though you're nearly double her weight and a guy drinking 4% compared to 12% wine, more than one drink is "problem drinking" and you need to get help.

[@jeffreyb8770]

Women were put on the earth to fix men.

[@KusogeMan]

maybe she's traumatized give her a break, lifes are fucking ruined by drugs in general

[@MFsecret1]

@@KusogeManAfter a decade she should stop projecting

[@obm8213]

active in AA and I find this fucking hilarious

[@mkultra2456]

Pussy

[@tuke3541]

How did it go?

[@mkultra2456]

@@tuke3541 He relapsed, got _really_ drunk at a club, made out with what he thought was a chick, but turns out it was a dude in drag, ends up killing the dude in disgust, and is now hiding out somewhere in Mexico.

[@seanspindleshanks2529]

@@mkultra2456 This whole thing just escalated very quickly.

[@mkultra2456]

@@seanspindleshanks2529 That's what happens when you go from one extreme (completely sober) to the other (absolutely shitfaced) you end up getting _really_ fucked up. If only Robert had more practice with his alcohol, 'cause you know what they say - practice makes perfect! Cheers! **Chugs a beer**

[@quietcorner293]

OMG I can't believe what I have done to my family. My kids know me as good old boring reliable dad. They don't know the guy who used to do shots of Jack before drinking his Jack and Coke.

[@Rydonittelo]

As a former chronic alcoholic, I approve this message. You don't need AA, all you need is a few new hobbies like cycling and a trustworthy supplier of benzodiazepines and oxycontin. It's way better. No hangovers☝🏻

[@Rydonittelo]

@Noneya Bidness Yes your 100% correct with that, they are like alcohol in that respect. I dont have any problems with them, or opiates. I've been taking both for years in small amounts but yes you are correct, If someone is withdrawing from dependency of benzodiazepines it similar to delirium trems.

[@capnjasbo]

I'm in AA and think this is fucking hilarious.

[@robertsilverman7032]

capnjasbo Damn right!!! Any AAs who are offended by this aren't doing it right.

[@beardog11able]

AA is hilarious it's a joke.... Read the ORANGE PAPERS.

[@randominternetguy3537]

Hope you're going strong :)

[@pauls7863]

I'm an AA too...and yes it is hysterical. Favorite line" the key in the door...my father waking up to apologize:

[@mkultra2456]

@@randominternetguy3537 Anyone in AA is weak.

[@eleanorclub]

I’m no longer in AA and I think this is both true and hilarious.

[@unoriginal1086]

why not

[@markflierl1624]

That's because it is! Both true and satire. Dry dunks need help!

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

I hope you've been doing well since leaving AA :)

[@dannyglover8217]

Good on you for leaving the cult! Never go back!

[@jakobc.2558]

2:28 Starts drinking. 2:36 Half the bottle is already empty. Damn those little details.

[@kchannel5317]

AA made my dad a better man, but I do wish i could have just one beer in front of him with out him freaking out.

[@dr.danburritoman1293]

Dang I'm sorry.

[@gunfuego]

Until you've experienced addiction, don't dismiss your Father so easily. Imagine having an itch you can NEVER scratch again, and knowing that if you did scratch it you'd end up hurting the ones you love mentally and/or physically and eventually in an institution/hospital, in jail, or dying. No one can truly understand the hell that is addiction without having experienced it....

[@localneo-graphic4647]

It's a double edged sword. I know a loser whose entire life is AA, but I got to hear his story. He had a dark, but fascinating and successful life. War vet, gang member, hinted that he murdered someone and got away with it on a clerical error (even after confessing out of guilt), then used engineering knowledge from the Navy to literally help invent MRI's (he got the same pay as the PhD's, despite no college). He did this while being a drug addict and alcoholic, and now he's a divorced old man living above an AA club in a shitty Texas town, where even most other AA members don't even like him. It doesn't help that he shits on modern AA. He preaches what considers to be 'pure' AA because he got sober in Cleveland (where AA started) at an old-timer club, with members that knew Dr. Bob and the other founders of AA. I understand that AA helped him get over some of his personal problems, but his braggadocios story only covered how he got sober and what his life was like until then. He never said what happened in the near 30 years since that led a smart, successful man to what I would consider a pitiful state, sober. My opinion AA is that it's wrong about everything, except their three pillars: Recovery, Service, and Fellowship. It offers a program to deal with your past, it offers camaraderie instead of isolation, and it offers an opportunity to help other people. You don't need AA for that, but it does bundle all of that neatly together. Everything else is pure bullshit, and the belief that AA is the only right answer is the worst of them all. Some use Catch 22, that if you get sober without AA, you either weren't a real alcoholic/drug addict, or worse, you're a 'dry drunk', someone who is sober with all the misery of an alcoholic.

[@stevekaczynski3793]

Also, it would be nice if he could share alcohol-filled chocolates or cake impregnated with sherry with you, but sacrifices have to be made...

[@jackthompson6296]

Alcohol free beer is a thing. He may even enjoy it.

[@Mineav]

I just had my first drink in 10 years. I feel great, and I feel a bender coming on. Thank you, Onion!

[@seanobrien9014]

@Alan formula1 probably not good.

[@underscore2736]

I think he's dead

[@TheBoon14]

Lukav RIP OP

[@roguesheep3083]

Doing what he loved.

[@robstevenson6432]

@Khaled Rapp You mean he missed coronavirus and lockdown?

[@goodlife1581]

Both of my parents have been in AA my whole life. This is too accurate

[@EmperorNonya]

Jesus dude

[@jamesgang4433]

She wips out a Colt 45 I'm dead

[@smitty1647]

i always knew she was the coolest one

[@pryingeyes1551]

My great, great, great grandfather also died when somebody whipped out a Colt .45. (And now to upvote my own comment like a jackass. )

[@nikinovski]

i didn't see the colt at all, what time was it?

[@TommyAngelo1337]

@@nikinovski It's the beer.

[@nikinovski]

Tommy Angelo oh alright i didn't know that was a beer

[@EliteRowmaster]

Unpopular opinion: people who feel smart for knowing onion is satire are worse than the people who think it's real

[@rahlohrogers4522]

Fr

[@boythee4193]

excellent satire

[@franceseast6592]

People who think it's real are God's gift to man and we must protect them

[@hattrickster33]

I thought it was real until I realized it wasn't.

[@marks6663]

the only thing worse than that is someone who feels smug that he is above criticising people who don't know it's satire.

[@seanadler918]

card at the end was the best part. "Thousands butchered as census enters its final phase" Finally we start doing something with all that info.

[@milascave2]

That obnoxious phase sometimes happens during early sobriety. Most people get over it in a couple of years or so, and learn to live around alcohol more comfortably. But they may still leave before Kareoke starts. My aproach to drinking partys now is to show up early while I can still have coherent conversations, and leave when it turns into a bunch of undecipherable yeling.

[@ryuuguu01]

I am not an alcoholic but my approach to parties is still the same as yours.

[@am74343]

Thank you for exposing this dangerous organization for all your viewers! How can they have gotten away with helping to take the fun out of millions of people's lives for all these decades?!

[@Xenite]

In the know is my hands down favorite "show" from the Onion. I would literally watch an hour of a bunch of these.

[@AdmiralBetas]

"I can't get through a week without AA..."

[@gregm9230]

That was wonderful! Well done by all! Thank you

[@jacob-mz9cv]

My favorite magic trick my dad would do was turning a 6 pack into domestic violence.

[@tumbleweed4026]

Mine too, lol. Every night for 20 years 😅🤣. He's still an alcoholic, but just not strong enough to beat us around. Even if he did attempt to slash my mom earlier this year with a machete 🤣

[@DrJ-hx7wv]

My parents were both clinical alcoholics, but only my mom was bitchy about it. My dad ran a business very well without remembering much. Everyone loved him and he was a great father. No one could tell. He sobered up and died shortly thereafter.

[@babybluesnowden]

LOL... awesome satire... If drinking starts to interfere with your work, you might be a problem drinker... If work starts to interfere with your drinking, you might wanna seek some help!!

[@Eidelmania]

I went to AA once with a friend.I was never a drinker but after that I was dying to get drunk.

[@MeatPuppet1962]

I just sent this to all my AA friends! 25 years since I had a drink.

[@JimboJuice]

Boring

[@marcolino0001]

Was that "Periodico de Ayer" by Hector Lavoe at the end? Yo the Onion had pretty good taste in music

[@WestOfEarth]

I don't know why Onion videos have suddenly begun appearing in my suggestions after 10 years. I guess their sobriety kept them away from the fun that is my list of recommended physics videos.

[@avi4875]

I don't know why people don't talk about this more. We had AA persons come into our school and talk to us about all the ways AA took away from their lives and reunited them with families which just took away so much time and resources from their lives in the long haul.

[@cheydinal5401]

The Onion is when you expect a fun news room satire but then it turns into a brilliant reverse intervention 😅 Didn't expect that at all, nicely done!

[@mielleburch5157]

I for one hate it when I'm having sober fun in recovery and some sanctimonious 12-stepper has to get all preachy and push his agenda on me. I'm like "just shut up and bowl, I'll do my recovery my way, and if I wanted to hear your country song of a life story I'd be at a freaking meeting. Now whose gonna buy some nachos?!"

[@ChalkyHonky]

They never recover their addictions still run their lives from the time they wake up til they go to sleep! Fuck sobriety have fun get drunk

[@ChalkyHonky]

@@jakedooley7530 Pappa didn't raise no quitter!!😂

[@mariecait]

AA /NA members can be annoying but for a lot of them they need the program to stay sober. Which I rather have an annoying sober than an annoying drunk around me. By a long shot.

[@jakedooley7530]

@@mariecait true, but some of those aa people are assholes, and they do nothing but judge other people that happen to be struggling

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

@@jakedooley7530 Residual guilt, perhaps?

[@alexfranklin3502]

I've been sober 5 years!! That was hilarious!!! We are not a glum lot.:)

[@BertonRucker1]

Yes. yes you are.

[@alexfranklin3502]

+BertonRucker1 Oh, so you are telling me how my sober friends and I feel? You know how everyone in AA feels? You my friend are a Zero Point Zero! I will try try not to be glum this weekend when my sober buddies and I do some sailing and play a few rounds of golf. If I was still drinking, I would be in some shitty bar having the same old conversation. Instead I'm cleaning my boat! All thanks to AA and the gift of sobriety!!!

[@alexfranklin3502]

+Alex Franklin But that video was funny. And I find it funny because I can laugh at myself, because I'm not glum;)

[@StrazdasLT]

Thats because your just sober, not in the AA cult.

[@alexfranklin3502]

Strazdas Cult? Anyone can leave AA anytime they want. No one will stop them. I've never heard of a cult that just lets you leave. Seriously, just walk out the door.

[@fosbury68]

"What's the matter, why aren't you DRINKING??"

[@josh3326]

I went to AA because my alcoholism caused me to lose my social life and marriage. Now, after 5yrs of AA, I still don’t have a life, or wife. I’m looked at as a loser.

[@emachine310]

When that anchor pulled out a colt 45 can I lost it

[@lavasharkandboygirl9716]

I swapped out heroin addiction for alcohol and people constantly say that I look “so much healthier and you’re so much more social”. Heroin was easier to quit than drinking, this isn’t a joke I’m dead serious here.

[@andyjoep]

AA is simply used as a bridge to a successful and sober life. The book mentions in a few places to seek professional help. Sick people helping sick people only takes you so far. Professional therapy is the answer for serious illnesses.

[@ToddHowar.d]

“It’s hard to not be resentful of AA.” Resentment is the number one offender...

[@None-Trick_Pony]

The end will never not remind me of when Lahey forces alcohol onto Colonel Dancer in Trailer Park Boys.

[@DrJ-hx7wv]

Private Dancer!

[@jacoberickson2558]

This hits even harder now that there’s been the studies showing AA is a highly ineffective treatment for alcoholism at like 5-10% success rate

[@losttribe3001]

That’s what happens when you create a “program” in an afternoon…

[@cycleofgrowth3202]

The success rate is much, much lower than that.

[@Thrifty032781]

It's almost like beating an addiction is difficult and has a high failure rate.

[@ashakydd1]

I have a friend who was developing a drinking problem when she started to not not hang out with me, instead of her drinking friends. A year or two later, she reached out to me to see if I wanted to hang out because she hadn't seen each other in a long time. We meet up and it turns out she is just doing her steps and doesn't actually want to hang out which actually was rather annoying a little selfish and rather disingenuous.

[@LordLucario12]

Should've pushed her to take you to a bar

[@ediciusz7312]

"I can't even have a sip of wine without you sighing loudly" Lol

[@funonthebun7662]

Finally, my brother has been clean 10 years and your tips finally got him back on the party bus

[@interestingcontent249]

This is on the fine line between satire and extremely accurate

[@timopper5488]

The best satire is indistinguishable from a genuine opinion.

[@rohitschauhanitbhu]

Love how everyone in "In the know" section always agrees with each other.

[@MyBenzoHell]

This is an intervention for a AA member hahaha 😂

[@irishjet2687]

For some reason, I read the title and mixed up "AA" (as in "Alcoholics Anonymous") with "AARP" (as in "American Association of Retired Persons"), and thought the video would be about how old people get cranky and stuck-in-their-ways, and would have a panel of old people dismissing the report.

[@apesht1373]

Can I use watching this at my court appointed NA meeting. Thank you

[@damongirl66]

AAA fucked me up for a while - literally. I didn't know about '13th steppers' and I found out the hard way as a vulnerable female in need of a friend. In the end I did it on my own and I am NO LONGER BORING AND OBNOXIOUS. I have never read AA book but I suspect that 13th stepping is not included. BTW the women in AA can be just as predatorial as the men.

[@zanedietlin7645]

The big lady sipping the colt 45 is my favorite part 😭

[@WeFrost62]

I absolutely LOVE this. Thank you, The Onion.

[@theoutlawpanterarulz3538]

My friend jumped off of a house when he got sober for two days he would never do that on alcohol smh lol

[@BloomerMedia]

I use to have a friend that we use to booze cruise with until he was convicted and had to join AA. I miss him. :(

[@altusshow7574]

I used to have a drinking problem that really affected my family, but I've since learned to drink way more so that now my drinking is my wife's problem.

[@jackthompson6296]

My brother used to have a drinking problem, too. He’s been drinking a lot less since he died. Miss you, bro.

[@garrett6076]

this video is really helping me come to terms with my problem. thank you onion.

[@jordanmicahcook]

This is so sad! And I feel like it needs to be addressed more openly. I’m so glad they were able to get through to at least one! What a happy ending…

[@xjunkxyrdxdog89]

This was a truly inspiring recovery story.

[@paulzenco6182]

“What s in your cup, why aren’t you drinking!?” LOL this is funny

[@peteman8160]

I'm glad they gave him that intervention he needed it, glad he accepted there help

[@JUSTICE4VTRS]

I'm a forced member of AA, and I think this video is hillarious... I think all parodies of AA are hillarious, especially Family Guy's. He said some things I've said... I was sober for almost 6 years, but nothing changed. I got stalked and falsely accused, wrongfully violated, and my father, dry for 12 years, still treats me the same. I'd rather have fun at a karaoke bar than go to a meeting. At least there, I don't get people telling me to not have a backbone against the system that wronged me

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

I used to drink. I still drink, but I used to drink too.

[@offthechainfitness]

Funny how I was so pissed off the first time around, left a "you're so rude" message and then watched the video again and died laughing, especially at the end when they all drank together...props!!

[@MWorsa]

“My AA isn’t a problem!” 😂

[@frankieoh2679]

In EVERY onion video. there is always someone who doesn't know it's satire

[@PositiveLastAction]

You mean this isn't real???

[@svcashflow630]

OneChomp you don’t need to be a snitch, bitch

[@ocirontariocryptidinvestig8010]

it was better back in the old days when 40% of people watching thought it was real but that was ruined by idiots telling them it was fake in the comments . I tried to stop these people but I was a lone voice in the wilderness .

[@Batznblkcatz]

But isn't it refreshing to realize there are stupid people? Turn that into an advantage and appreciate your big big brain.

[@Y_N_K_888]

I'm here for help and the onion does this goddamn LMFAO

[@numberlover8181]

Well, they actually do have a point. I used to be fun and outgoing, now I'm a depressed shell of man. The only thing that I have in common with myself from 15 years ago is that we kind of look alike.

[@ryeonspeed]

That alcohol moment at the end was honestly pretty wholesome ngl

[@MS-oj8nh]

These videos, make me smile so much.. Thank you

[@flat-earther]

hi MS-, have you become a flat earther yet?

[@SmileytheSmile]

I think this is one of the few times an Onion actor slipped up - when he realised that sobriety was hurting his family, you can see it in his eyes how much he wants to smile.

[@davidkalger]

i was in AA, this made laugh so hard, the way that guy is talking about him , just too great

[@brandonakey6616]

This literally just kept getting better and better

[@christophjunger2594]

Perfect Casting. Loking forward to see the whole thing😂👌

[@Chunkboi]

"My name is John, and I have a drinking problem. I've been sober for five years....that's my problem."

[@composerdoh]

terror of hearing my father's key in the door- I was TERRIFIED that he'd want to wake me up and apologize for hours on end... lol!

[@avyghn5324]

I like how they all take a drink and David just downs the entire Jack Daniels bottle.

[@EmperorsNewWardrobe]

2:25 the ‘mm hmm’ got me, and the al Pacino laugh at 2:34