Abandonment Schema

[@Nightswim_]

Yes , when the therapist doesn’t deliver, because they weren’t properly trained it is re/traumatizing in a whole new way. To the point I won’t pursue professional therapy again . Thank you for info on these schemas

[@LouiseNormande]

Very clarifying, Ruth and Rita. Such a nice 7-minutes-timing as well! 😊 Tks

[@wonder7798]

Especially with state insurance, they limit therapy to every 2 weeks it wastes time because you're having to start over every week due to the disconnect when awaiting the next session

[@muroamie]

I'm working as a relationship coach and hot damn my long time client is exactly like this, the big emotional buzzer beater drop. It helps that I know where it comes from that I feel I abandoned the client because of how he expresses his schema, but I have to work extra to detach because struggling with the transference is real. I want to refer him to a therapist, but he's so avoidant he's having a hard time even talking about his his negative feelings, much less his childhood.

[@schematherapyinstituteaust]

It might be worth sharing this video with your client and suggesting he work with a practitioner who is familiar with the Schema Therapy approach.

[@blueblackyellow]

its best to direct clients with serious mental health issues to trained clinicians. coaching is limited and often does not meet the right education for extensive and complex mh work.

[@axetrance]

Thank you!

[@narcabusevictimgermany9687]

It is really terrible to know that I have become a actress instead of being myself due to my terrible upbringing. And I don’t want to be forced to be a actress unless I want that. I had three adults abusing me, i don’t know who I am often especially when old Trauma comes up. Or when my inner child’s needs come up.

[@schematherapyinstituteaust]

Choosing to be an actress at times is pattern that has worked in the past and you're right, not having to be an actress is the goal! This is achievable with help .. we wish you all the best in your healing.

[@rc1952]

Hi, It was interesting and moving to read that you felt forced into a certain type of work. This has happened to quite a few people. Later they find they are in work they don’t really like and change. What I noticed about some actors is that it’s easier to be an actor if you can slip into some other identity and try it on- rather than have to stand in front of people in your daily life and be an authentic YOU. Because your childhood time of developing your identity was damaged so you are still finding out who you really are. One way to find out who you are is to try on different roles and identify or not identify with them and to meet more and more people and look at how they are and start to get a sense that you are different from them. But the very very best way to form your identity is to be told things about yourself by your parents, when you are a child and caregivers and siblings and people who care about you and tell you the truth. You take their words on board and you already possess a personality, and this combo from them recognising who you really are--becomes your IDENTITY. So if you get into work when you can be yourself and you start receiving comments about what you’ve done what you look like, who you are what you sound like and everything about yourself your identity will form- and be repaired into the picture of the real original you of your birth and you real personality. They encouraged that you were born as a personality and a distinct identity, and you are unique, so it’s just a matter of discovering it or interacting with people and listening to what they say about you as if they are your original caregivers and don’t believe any lies…. Because deep down inside your heart you can sense and trust your own idea about what they say and either give it the tick of agreement or the thumbs down no that’s just not me. I’ve been encouraged to you have a unique identity stamped on you before you were born. Now, here comes the God part, so watch out! I believe in God. I believe he cares about me and made me a certain way how he planned me to be. I trust him to help me define, discover, and create who I am over my life span. It’s not set in stone. He and I do it. I was and I am and become. You have voice in it. You can sense deep down if a comment about you is off beam so reject it. Also, if a lot of people say something about you, it could be accurate as long as they are genuine people who care about you and really know you and what you like. God put your desires in your heart, and if you let him, he will fulfil the desires of your heart. So go for it. God bless you and protect you in all you do.

[@jessicacollins6407]

My therapist started the 2 times a week sessions and then suddenly went to every other a week without discussing it which just reminded me I'm unwanted. That's fine not unusual really

[@schematherapyinstituteaust]

Jessica thanks for your comment. We encourage clients to share these feelings with therapists because they can be very schema-reinforcing. All the best!