Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator 2

Don't judge a book by its cover. That HAS to be story behind Cruelty Squad because there's got to be a reason this game is rated OVERWHELMINGLY POSITIVE!
Bob and Wade are Waiting... ► open.spotify.com/show/2X40qLy...
Edited By ► / nerdfiction
And ► / lixiantv
Cruelty Squad ► store.steampowered.com/app/13...
Horror Outro ► / haunted
Happy Outro ► / minimusicman-crazy-la-...

[@bigfatbub]

"The universe is littered with the corpses of your mistake" In War with Markiplier confirmed.

[@sabeeh3086]

that would be awesome!

[@Spot_Faceless-Soldier]

God, that'd be amazing.

[@askinni]

I want that!

[@noelleholiday61]

Call Of Duty 4:Markiplier Warfare

[@Weaklytune]

Oh no now this comment is going to make it come to existence 😂

[@AlreadyTakenTag]

Mark is such a brilliant strategist. His tactical genius is so brilliant in fact that even his enemies are confused of his display of utterly disasterous incompetence when it comes to strategy.

[@minecraftyeli]

If i have no idea what i am doing, my enemy sure as hell doesnt. - General Markiplier the Negligent

[@phoenixflambe3319]

Sun Tzu said that! And he knows a little bit more than you do pal.

[@gungnir-tempezuki6650]

Because he invented it! And then he perfected it, so that no man could best him in the ring of honor!

[@ZeroMiner15]

@@gungnir-tempezuki6650 o7 I wished rick may was still with us

[@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin]

Don’t read my name……..

[@hello_kitty_love09]

6:28 Action man who's action man... OMG NO IT'S JOHN WICK

[@Lilmonster-nc8zx]

True

[@keenangauthier4665]

Watching a man play with ducks for 20 minutes is perfect

[@epicalazerus]

214 likes no comments let’s fix that

[@hitekkaifighter1825]

Markiplier 2012: “I’m king of the squirrels!” Markiplier 2022: Incompetent duck general.

[@flaretheragegamer8451]

yes

[@aziatouchsilent8507]

Yes

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E‎

[@matthewelliott7294]

Yes

[@ohboi9990]

10 years really changes a guy

[@Sus-oh7yg]

6:29 "Action man-?Who the hell is that-Oh my god, no, it's John Wick."

[@joseguadalupemartineztorre9702]

This line needs to be canon

[@NoobEmpire979]

Start: 2:35 duck1:i will kill you >:] duck2:Come here >:D Mark:*Questing and laughing about what they just said* Duck3:Don't make me come over here! >:) End: 2:43

[@carolinemeyerhoff17]

@@joseguadalupemartineztorre9702 it indeed became canon

[@kamora.hasashi3761]

thank you so much❤

[@Mroutside-pw2tr]

Seen him it's just as bad as seeing springtrap

[@Orphan-Be-Gone-2000]

"Fight like your life depends on it, which it do" Most inspiring speech I have ever and will ever hear

[@KayzIdeas]

21:15 Curiosity killed the ducks - General Quackiplier

[@bingo5661]

I wonder what goes through lixian’s mind when he sees the unedited footage of mark talking to himself in the beginning of every video

[@cloutless_mouse_the_III]

He's probably used to it by now

[@liyaqua]

PRECISELY

[@ari1758]

@@cloutless_mouse_the_III yeah probably

[@WhatABeautifulDuwangChew]

Prob questioned Mark’s sanity from the beginning before getting used to it

[@ash6841]

Everybody is secretly lixians name

[@cheesewhip812]

The battlefield is littered with the consequences of your mistakes Mark. You sent these ducks to die. They had families, children even. Your misjudgment as a general, and your sheer inability to play RTS has sent all of these ducks to their doom. The battlefield is coated with their scarlet stained feathers, the few survivors of the zombie war will never recover Mark. What have you done

[@NickSmith-fe7lp]

Solution: send the whole family into battle

[@FranciumBoron]

Perfect.

[@elonalarimer8286]

I lost my duck in that war

[@BroccRR]

...

[@AClassyGuy]

F for out fallen feathered fellows.

[@chriswinspear5728]

The tesla ducks almost look like they are trying to spell out something on a large scale as they explode into bits. 😢

[@whotfisenso]

0:40 Dude that is some elite foresight and editing by mark and lixian, so good

[@ForestDweller47]

Whoever came up with the voice lines for the ducks needs a raise immediately.

[@yes-np4xv]

Ratio🤓

[@ImLefoole]

@@yes-np4xv that ratio aint lookin good

[@lucasohrt1294]

@@ImLefoole true

[@brilliantgamestudios]

Devs here! Well he lives in a dumpster and refuses to let us pay him. But he does like banana peels!

[@HeyItsEzli]

@@ImLefoole yup

[@anthonystaton3740]

Has anyone done the Markiplier: "I'm not a masochist" Also Markiplier: I will pick the winner by how hurt my feelings are! Yet

[@minaashido3705]

🤣

[@daMexiwaiinFungi]

To that I thought: "I don't see a father in your contacts..."

[@minaashido3705]

@@daMexiwaiinFungi I heard this in my head lol

[@PhantomGato-v-]

@@daMexiwaiinFungi no kidding he’s dead

[@daMexiwaiinFungi]

@@PhantomGato-v- I'm aware, just look up "I don't see a father in your contacts"

[@Necroscat]

There's this thing in RTS's called 'Attack Move'. It's different than normally moving a unit somewhere, because it makes them attack whatever other enemy unit they come across along the way. If you used 'Attack Move' instead of 'Move', they wouldn't have just gone to one place & stayed there

[@makerofeditsmov]

Imagine taking a walk in a beautiful green field. Peace and comfort as you walk. Suddenly, you hear the thunderous smacks of webbed feet, 10s of 1000s of them. You turn around and see ducks waddling to you, with their horrifying cries of “don’t make me come over there!” You know this is the end, but in a measly attempt of freedom, you run to the closest grocery store. All you think is, “I’m gonna need a hell of a lot of bread.” Beautiful.

[@ThreeGoddesses]

Mark's incompetence in RTS has been a perfect example of Sun Tzu's divide and conquer, except applied to his singular braincell. He divided... and his enemies conquered. Mark's feathery friends relied on him, trusted him and he let them down in the worst possible way... namely, that Mark only supplied each duck with a foam helmet. Mark could have trained the ducks in combat, but instead he attempted to Miyagi them by showing them the kungfu in their every day lives... By making them think that pecking toes is a viable combat technique. Mark, are you ashamed of yourself? You thought ducks could win against egg laying hens, despite hens outweighing ducks by 3 pounds. You underestimated the sheer rage and violence of chickens and it cost the lives of hundreds of brave ducks.

[@oversaturatedtrans5290]

god damn dude

[@Hoggogo]

Madlad actually did it, mf left a detailed ranting comment

[@Trollpower]

i think we've found a winner

[@iidoughnutholes3087]

Damn this is absolutely a winner holy cow, really hope Mark sees this

[@nidalflame8894]

Well we found the winner

[@LewBurn]

Alternate title: Mark being in denial about his duck army's inadequacy

[@alexstephen6485]

Inaduckuacy

[@thisiskris2929]

Your point is invalid ducks are the immortal beings of this earth they sit on moose and hippos nothing else does that

[@theomalmgren3567]

@@thisiskris2929 they dont sit on top of Nicholas Tesla

[@DepressyDuck]

I'll have you know I am EXTREMELY adequate.

[@thisiskris2929]

Ah but does Nicholas Tesla sit on a moose or a hippo the answer is no he doesn't have the immortality to do so

[@MihaelGeng]

Mark: *Knows that blood can form a river in this game Also Mark: 33:15 "Woah they have water physics in this game!" O...okay Markimoo 😂

[@dr.insignia7361]

22:07 there’s something oddly profound about how mark talks about the duck fights

[@jessicafelice6767]

"No one shall remember their deed for history is written by the victors" is such a raw fucking line to come from a battle with ducks and chickens

[@BoomBoomSoup]

Lmfao 😭😭😭 It’s like a child playing with rubber ducks in the bath

[@martianking2332]

Agreed

[@RavenL.]

The phrase "history is written by the victors" has been around for a loooong ass time lmfao

[@stabfenn2960]

@@RavenL. it's a raw fucking line to be *used* in a battle of ducks and chickens, is that better for you

[@RavenL.]

@@stabfenn2960 yes. 😂

[@Patterrz]

I'm learning it's TECHNICALLY possible for the world to be taken over by a massive Duck army

[@akrn9613]

Elaborate

[@TheBerylfly]

very. very. technically.

[@latte_7577]

@@akrn9613 Many ducks

[@morgannull4685]

@@akrn9613 Ducks are somewhat more versatile than human beings. They can fly great distances, and with thumbs they’d be a major threat. Increase their intelligence and give thumbs = natural predator

[@hahahahahaha1946]

The hjonkening begins haha

[@ThatRandomGu7]

Mark: lixian add your own music Lixian: I’ll call my pocket orchestra

[@KryptiicKarnage]

Maybe you should lead for the team that you want to lose

[@chaotic356]

“Ultimate epic battle simulator 2” Alternate title: *Markiplier mass murdering ducks for 37 minutes straight*

[@trollerpilotxiv3079]

War...war never changes.

[@tomaspilon9255]

​@@trollerpilotxiv3079 [everyone liked that]

[@SC015]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@thelordisholythelordisfair2633]

Actually it's 37,5 🤓🤓🤓🤓

[@myusernameisthisduh]

Guess you didnt watch the whole video then. Aint ducks the whole time

[@maniacninja0000]

13:58 An analysis of Mark's battle strategy… After an in depth analysis of this video and even more Mark’s request I needed inspiration to critique his battle style. I decided to turn to Sun Tzu’s The Art Of War. After reading cover to cover I found numerous incompetent misjudgment, and impulsive stupidity. Starting with basic formation strategies, and planning. Mark chose a “block” or “in line” formation to attack. This is most commonly recognizable from the civil war or pre modern warfare. Best for ranged attacks with non fully automatic rifles to simulate rapid fire by having each line of soldiers take turns firing, and ducking down to reload. However Mark selected this for a mass Guerilla melee warfare which quite frankly is an affront to the god of war Athena. Not only was it luck based it relied on strength with troops who had everything but. His duck platoon had higher attack rate, better concealment ability, and even moderately comparable speed. A better tactic would have been a distraction of about 10% of his troops in a reverse arrow formation to surround the block formation of the zombie horde. Along the distance to the battle use 30% for scattered ambushes, formatted to isolate, and execute small clusters of zombies, all groups holding parts of 50% as backup for each group to take out any following zombies who might have seen the ambush Once the numbers have been weakened and the horde is close enough to the 10% have what remains of the 70% ambush teams to flank the horde, with the last 20% funneling the sides out to flatten, and divide the hoard. This will take advantage of the duck’s numbers, and most valuable physical assets. Next is the war of the mind. This is an easy win as zombies already lack brain function, and ducks are known to be smarter, and more intuitive than most water dwelling birds. This allows for better local and on the fly strategy not to mention being “battle ducks” it implies previous field training. The zombies will be over confident seeing a lone horde of ducks secretly amassing only 10% of the duck’s full forces. Even more a conflict of emotion will befall the hordes as some worry about their slowly decreasing number while those closer to the center maintain confidence allowing for them to fall into the trap like lemmings. A divide of panic and overconfidence will brew to cause internal conflicts being waged on top of the slaughter that will befall the poor zombie hordes. This strategy titans over Mark's pitiful strategy of… Jack shit. He showed his weakness in leadership upfront with formation giving the zombies righteous confidence as they rush a block of weak and defenseless ducks with no plan. The best strategy was the predictable “flank em” maneuver that was not pre planned, and was never even fully completed resulting in an absolute atrocity of war strategy that I was offended by just watching. Please mark. Never join the military. You are a danger to your platoon, squadron, or otherwise. Before someone says something, this was written as a joke, just for fun.

[@HabitualThinker]

I love you for this comment

[@minimalgrammar1276]

You didn't even spell Sun Tzu right...

[@maniacninja0000]

@@minimalgrammar1276 fixed it thx

[@someone4857]

guerrilla*

[@maniacninja0000]

@@someone4857 oh wow, I actually didn’t know that it was spelled different. Thx.

[@ThejitplaysVR]

*looking down and sad* "Ma, we lost Jerry in the great Duck vs Persian war." *Looks up and happy* "But we did win!"

[@kouroshbahri3635]

8:30 She: Don't cry, this is just a video game! Me: *cries

[@jenni5104]

"These ducks will know true victory." - Surprisingly not the weirdest thing I've heard this man say. Lixian.. Nice music choices, dude.

[@LunariusAstraeus]

Lixian is such a nice touch to every vid, I love it

[@TheRealModiK]

@YeaMan 🤓

[@justanothermusicchannel1465]

“Me as a general is not meant to lead ducks,” is a good one too

[@theoutspokentheorist9578]

Mark literally chose the worst possible matchups for those poor ducks lol. The reaction to him realizing that he'd matched them up against John Wick was great

[@snakeonix9105]

No one beats John wick not even the mighty duck army of the elite markiplier duck militia

[@capedchickencruisader7160]

I’m pretty sure that chuck Norris can’t die

[@Skronkly]

"Action man? Who the hell is action ma-" "Oh my god no it's Jhon Wick-"

[@josetravassos725]

@@capedchickencruisader7160 I think you mean Duck Norris

[@alexbrown8618]

It was so great it became a TikTok trend

[@Jared-hg3lb]

17:29 Mark: trying to sound sad and all. me: To protect the world of devisation......... If you get it you get it

[@user-fq2lz9ui3q]

I love how mark just straight up abuses his power with Lixian and it’s the funniest thing I have ever seen 😂

[@NamikoWRLD]

"These brave ducks, waddling straight into the face of death. No one shall remember their deeds, for history is written by the victors"

[@saturnlight939]

Swear the part about victors is a hitler quote but I don’t rember

[@catherinemartin1957]

@@saturnlight939 nah it’s just a saying. He might have said it before but it isn’t his quote

[@randomperson5512]

And finally the history of this place and everything that happened here. an finally begin to fate away

[@saturnlight939]

@@catherinemartin1957 yea mb I was think of “The victor will never be asked if he told the truth”

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

It's actually untrue. The Fall of Rome for example was largely recorded by Roman scholars. It can be the case the victors rewrite history but often times scholars keep historical record good and bad as accurately as possible especially in the old days where they wanted everything to be remembered and valued knowledge of the past.

[@45calGunslinger]

"I'm going to let this run for a bit" *builds a dam out of corpses containing a waist-deep lake of blood*

[@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin]

Don’t read my name……..

[@Oisin14]

@@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin Noted, I will not. The end

[@MESSISIMHI]

Someone sees a blood lake:"i am about to puke" Markiplier sees a blood lake:" that's pretty cool"

[@linkin0983]

25:58 Mark definitely put it wrong 😅 It's vice-versa, the Battle Ducks should be were the Persians are.

[@justnick2892]

Mark, you failed once you enlisted into the Duckforce. Plenty of troops had heard of the infamously masochistic general whose lack of adhd medicine and obsession with winning led to the now-extinct squirrel squadrons’s defeat during the Fite of ‘87.

[@hesus1474]

the fite of 87

[@IDontLikeHandIes]

the fite of 87

[@BumboMcJumbo]

WAS THAT THE FITE OF 87

[@vro7537]

Well said

[@toodeadtodie186]

These brave Ducks will forever be remembered for their part in the “Battle of Waddling” 🦆

[@Dandygirl_94]

"The numbers are very, very close" isn't even on the same continent 😅

[@opop9507]

@@Dandygirl_94 no

[@aniota1648]

😹 cute🦆

[@opop9507]

@@aniota1648 🤕🤕

[@jeramysandoval2098]

The Army of Chuck Noreye killed me....laughed so hard 🤣

[@logic9680]

I didn't expect to see scenic shots of ducks being slaughtered, but shit it looks pretty awesome

[@mattwardproductions7399]

The ducks have lost so many. Fathers, mothers, children, all lay dead, never to lay again. All thanks to you.

[@brothersandsistersofvalhalla]

If a Father duck is laying eggs I have lots of questions.

[@aarepelaa1142]

@@brothersandsistersofvalhalla children doing that is pretty questionable aswell.

[@snowdrop974]

For the sake of my sanity, I will believe that this comment means laying down to sleep.

[@sethblome1118]

Small price to pay for salvation

[@mattwardproductions7399]

@@brothersandsistersofvalhalla I didn't think about that. I just wanted the egg pun

[@302956]

The truly incredible tactics and feats of General Duckiplier: Somehow getting himself outflanked and surrounded while attempting to flank zombies, Ordering ducks to attack tanks, deploying 1000000 ducks on a mountainside only for half of them to fall to their death before the battle begins, and by far his greatest accomplishment, removing the ducks and becoming god to smite the enemies himself.

[@holy_crusaderoftheholyland4713]

Heh you should look at the steam review for this game

[@robertnelson9599]

Good or bad?

[@oivatank]

All those ducks served as sacrifices so that he may achieve godhood.

[@Crunchatize_Me_Senpai]

“Lixian add your own music” “I’ll call my orchestra =-=“ Fucking DESTROYED me 🤣

[@makerofeditsmov]

6:29 HE SAID THE THING HE SAID THE THING

[@alicia4965]

A huge flock of ducks in helmets running at me yelling “don’t make me come over there” is 100% not where I thought I was going to be today

[@trinity3631]

WHO WANTS TO GET DUCKED?!

[@GravitasZero]

I love how the ducks have the numerical advantage but Mark makes sure to negate that with the formation and placement

[@tieske6743]

@YeaMan but he doesn’t make music

[@christianmoon3572]

He did do a few singing videos years ago

[@starrypines590]

@@tieske6743 I think "I don't wanna be free" and "The last goodbye" would beg to differ

[@KonekoValentine]

6:29 oh my god no, its john wick...

[@MarioB-us6um]

29:20 Oh my God, they're attacking at such speed that you can't actually see it 😂

[@ClonedGamer001]

"Duckmaster, they have us outnumbered three to one" "Then it is an even fight"

[@captainunderpants4934]

Aylo free

[@LiterallyMe05]

Narrator: "It was not an even fight"

[@kvaler9643]

“Burn their Cockerel hides.”

[@dominate3935]

I cried at the sad story of those ducks. God bless those geese. Their bravery shall be remembered forever

[@AT-yz4eo]

Lixian going nuts with his orchestra at the beginning made me laugh so hard. His expressions never get old

[@lexifeldmann5353]

I literally laughed out loud when Lixian "threw" the thumbnail into Mark's head. Like, I love the working relationship these two dorks have with each other. It cracks me up and makes me very happy

[@camomurf5182]

Conductor Lixian is now my favorite Lixian. Throwing the thumbnail was pretty funny though. XD

[@Zer0se_]

Fun fact, it wasn't the thumbnail, but the video itself, you can see mark moving inside it ;)

[@t3knosoulz]

@@Zer0se_ lixian is honestly a genius lmao

[@Zer0se_]

@@t3knosoulz Yup 😂

[@ceberskie119]

"Let's see what kind of chaos I can cause when given a modicum of power." -spends an hour calling the honor of ducks into question before going on a superhuman genocidal rampage and then flooding the earth to cover it up.

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@HayilCrowz]

the bible 2

[@whoophadoop8195]

hmm sounds vaguely familiar

[@zambinoni]

@@HayilCrowz Chuck, is that you?

[@HayilCrowz]

@@zambinoni who the hell is Steve Jobs

[@funky_missy]

Can I just say lixian’s choice of music is perfect

[@solartyrant9049]

I bet the battlefield after the battle ducks vs Tesla smelled delicious

[@lurddd]

"no one shall remember their deeds, for history is written by the victors." damn thats a hard ass quote

[@themaster5435]

Thats from moder warfare 2 campaign thats at lest where I heard it first and I love it

[@ItsMeAgain.]

@@themaster5435 “History is written by the victors. But that’s only if he (General Shepard) lives, and we die.” -Captain Price

[@____Carnage____]

@@ItsMeAgain. “because if we die, his truth becomes *the* truth and ours is lost”

[@just_delta-2589]

@@____Carnage____ "his truth becomes history, and ours is lost"*

[@justinianthegreatandnerd6377]

yes

[@Capt_Chaos_91]

Mantis Shrimp are actually terrifying in reality. They literally punch their prey to death. The speed of their punch is comparable to that of a bullet leaving the barrel of a gun. It creates so much friction in the water, it makes bubbles.

[@rayshiotile9487]

it makes imploding bubbles that can reach 8,500 degrees fahrenheit. so uh yeah

[@river_the_nb]

I’m glad someone else was here to point this out. The battle ducks never stood a chance

[@salemcrow5078]

They can also see the secret colors that have been forbidden to us humans.

[@evanharrison4054]

They also have a 12 cone vision. Humans have 3. What you experience of this world is but a tesco value budget version of what the mantis shrimp sees.

[@thesheepwhisperer6546]

It doesn't just make bubbles it BOILS the water which is where the bubbles come from

[@KaraKaotic]

i love that the ducks FINALLY get a win and then mark IMMEDIATLY try's to turn them into a river of blood

[@-NotJordan2-1522]

I love the music in this cello suite no. 1 was perfect 👍

[@JustPineapple]

Mark: *Looks at Ducks* Mark: “Why are they just sitting there!” My Brain: *sitting ducks*

[@xxxxxthegoddestroyerxxxxxx9332]

ducks

[@feathera6067]

ducks

[@happygus1304]

ducks

[@paintedfingernail2308]

ducks

[@linkinseevers6439]

Mark: “This one’s alive, keep pecking little buddy” Duck: “QUACK!” Mark: “Oh!” Duck: Dead

[@AngelicHalfblood]

I think the Duck was saying in its native tounge: "This is Madness!" Enemy: "This is Sparta!!!!!!" (Wait! Didn't mark get the ducks to fight Spartans!?)

[@Adolf0rille09]

Markiplier keep pecking Duck : quack That was duck for " Yeah no sh!t "

[@willreese7114]

Lixian's face when he upped the intensity of the orchestra was great

[@myellatorres2110]

the john wick clip kills me every time 😭

[@fire_wolf_3336]

Mark: "I'm not a masochist" Also Mark: "Hurt me in the comments below"

[@soup7694]

​@YeaMan man i have not seen you for a long time. L bot tho, can't even spell properly

[@AngelicHalfblood]

Fire_Wolf_33 ? I am not sure if this should be encouraged. I will admit it's very entertaining. But not for the poor Ducks that are being enlisted into battle! Oh no! I'm picturing Ducks doing a Peace March and just getting run over by Mark's car as he's screaming "Duck War Propaganda!"

[@microwavent]

^

[@fire_wolf_3336]

@@AngelicHalfblood I wasn't encouraging it per say, just not stopping it

[@AngelicHalfblood]

I am not really stopping it eithor@@fire_wolf_3336, But I am trying to keep myself from thinking about how many diffrent strands of Insanity have been used in this. I am also very surprised though that Mark when the Armor was shining in the sunlight (30:21) did not think about Lady Dimitrescu with Dragon scale armor drop land on the battleground. Oh god... That one battle where every Duck flys away, every soldiers sprints to hide (because they know better then to take an Vampire Amazon) I sadly see Markiplier would roll out in a "Tank"/ van with camera with a Big lens scope. Mark: "Dam!!!!!!! I must have gotten lost back from where ever I was, but I'm not disappointed" (camera zooms into take picture of her face) One thing is for sure: That will hurt him plenty!

[@AltTemp]

“I have a funny feeling mantis shrimp also have a ranged attack.” *Laughs in terrifying bullet punch strength*

[@PhantomGato-v-]

That also has the power and heat of the fucking sun

[@annamay2921]

I laughed at the fact that the mantis shrimp were walking upright.

[@bidgey]

18:52 the ducks nearly won during your speech they took out half the zombies.

[@TheHorrorFanatic450]

You know donald duck had enough of your shit and is pissed off when he sends 100000 of his brothers after you XD

[@DragonspineInfiniteZero]

21:15 Marks horrified shock at the ducks vanishing in a wave of tank muzzle flashes is amazing like a man realizing a truth he’s know for so long is so effortlessly debunked

[@MrGeorgeFlorcus]

I like that the 100 auto-shermans was an exponentially more efficient field-wipe than the Noah's Flood god power lol. It was just so _immediate_

[@ItsDaKoolaidDude]

Just *_gone_*

[@flashkirby101]

Absolutely liquidated those ducks. Down to the last speck of protein in their eyelashes.

[@VoltageVoyager]

Gone, reduced to atoms

[@phenelz1ne]

"Noone shall remember their deeds for history is written by the victors" -Markiplier 220 b.C.

[@boluz113]

General Markiplier Shepherd

[@michealgreen9615]

@@boluz113 good that's one less loose end

[@huntermaskell154]

thats a good quote tho no cap

[@jamesmcneil3412]

I think you mean markiplius

[@christinajones8869]

That was actually a really great line

[@rhouthless2577]

Haven't slept in over 48 hrs; at 17:48 I realized that I'm nearing the point of hallucinations. That's enough internet for now...

[@jakeplayzrandomstuff4738]

Markiplier watching ducks explode against all odds: *Ooh, Ahh…*

[@thechameleos6334]

Why did that feel genuinely satisfying to see "Battle Ducks won". It was like seeing a kid ride their bike on two wheels for the first time

[@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin]

Don’t read my name……..

[@thechameleos6334]

@@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin You return to me yet again to tempt me so

[@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin]

@@thechameleos6334 Have I? 😆

[@thechameleos6334]

@@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin you have, yes. I even subscribed to your channel

[@Pistee]

Mark: I'm sorry ducks I'm just curious what a full auto Sherman does The Sherman: 'a literature wall of fire and steel'

[@denseaf1582]

A pyroclastic flow of high-explosive shells

[@firestargaming9521]

you know literature refers to writing

[@BloodBrandy]

In fairness, when I hear Sherman after seeing Tesla and Wick, I assumed it would just be a bunch of clones of the WW2 US Army brass fighting with riding crops

[@marieindia8116]

*literal*?

[@silviafox78]

r/boneappletea

[@user-gg7cb5ip2g]

The ducks knew they were fucked, yet they still charged

[@user-vn9ce2ns6t]

They aren't just free range chickens they're free RANGED chickens

[@n1thecaptain965]

Fun fact about the mantis shrimp IRL: it has the strongest punch (in proportion to its size) of the entire animal kingdom. Its punching arm accelerates about as fast a .22 caliber bullet. Imma do some math here, for fun. The punch it delivers has about 1.5 kN of force behind it, and it weighs up to 90 grams. The average human weighs 62 kg, which is 688 times as much. That means that if humans could punch as hard as mantis shrimps, we would be able to deliver punches with about 1 MN, or 1000 kN, or 1.000.000 newton of force. That's enough to punch a rocket into space. Not sure it would get there in one piece, but that's a problem for later

[@Just1Nora]

Their punches break the sound barrier! They create little sonic booms behind their claws when they punch. If you keep one as a pet it's recommended that you get a tank with special thick coated glass in case they try to punch it. I have a friend who owns one. They are beautiful and super cool little dudes. Their eyes also have twelve cone cells where ours only have three (rgb), so they can see all sorts of wavelengths of light that we can't even imagine seeing! I'm an artist, so this fact always boggles my mind. Just the possibilities! Butterflies can see UV, cats can see UV and infrared I believe...but the mantis shrimp really tops the charts with its twelve cone cells. I'm sure that's probably why they are so colorful themselves.

[@sammich1009]

That’s actually sick. Thank you for the fun fact(s)

[@donaldbaird7849]

Considering the surface area of our fists, with that amount of force the pressure causes the fist to go right through the rocket

[@spofman]

That’s so interesting thank you all for sharing

[@baba50040]

to be more precise they do 100kg pressure in a 2millimeter surface

[@kayzmavc4596]

Lixian's "I'll call my orchestra" got me good. He's seriously one of the best editors, if not the best editor, on KZbin.

[@RedOshawott23]

I don’t know how much appreciation he gets but it’s not enough

[@linkinseevers6439]

I totally agree, with both of you

[@minimalgrammar1276]

Either him or Numberer1.

[@Fiteme69]

well he's up there

[@rowangothic]

Bold of you to assume that he was joking and that he does not, in fact, have a full orchestra on call 👀👀 /j

[@Catholic_Citizen]

23:27 does mark know that the Spartans lost the battle of Thermopylae to the Persians?

[@starwarsinfo5378]

1,716,577 ducks died under General Markiplier’s command in the great duck wars that only lasted 40 minutes What a tragic waste of ducky life Note: this is assuming all ducks present died when he quit early abandoning the ducky massacres and counting all that actually died during the battle that the ducks won Note 2: that is a rate of 42,915 ducks/second

[@Randomperson124f]

Geez

[@gatopcz992]

u mean per minute not second

[@Ihatestereotypes]

@@gatopcz992do you really think he’ll change it tho?

[@MarioB-us6um]

And you forgot to mention how many kill the duck got. Wich... Are not good numbers either.

[@Scott.E.H]

Mark out here perfectly impersonating real military generals "oh woe is me, all these hundreds of thousands sent to die for no reason but I will pretend it was for a cause THEY BELIEVED IN and I am so sad"

[@BinkyDoinkus]

If you have ever seen Enders Game, it gives a twist to the entire way of how you feel while watching this. Thinking you're just playing a "game/simulation" but ACTUALLY sending millions of existing Battle Sucks to their demise in hopes of Victory

[@insert_name_here6487]

Mark: I'm the worst general ever! Field marshall Hague: *laughing in passchendaele*

[@thexbc2211]

Mark: "All the ways I did wrong" Well you see... it all started from the time he chose to use ducks as an army

[@potatonumber200]

Everything changed when the Duck Army attacked...

[@colekiesler6218]

Markiplier: “Those duck’s deserve to have there own leader.” Also Mark: “Could I be the most neglect leader?”

[@alzakelvar7561]

Their*

[@yeahz_purple1786]

Lol xDD

[@LCOfficerUNIT097]

6:38 in those 2 seconds of hell, 90000 battle ducks were slain.

[@KodamaoftheWeastTree]

I genuinely love that the ducks actually win that 10k to 100k vs zombies, but Mark attempting to make them flank made them do nothing so often they lost 😂

[@mybrothersapysco182]

I love when Mark 'talks' to Lixian, because editing it must be so awkward. Because I just imagine Lixian answering his questions as he edits.

[@GhironGames]

I imagine Mark acting like he got hit by his own video and then Lixian just makes a whole conversation out of it I love it

[@Weaklytune]

It makes his videos so good though lol

[@hooping_hood_mike4359]

The strategy he tried to do with the Persians like Thermopylae is like the only strategy that give the Persians the advantage... Slow clap but high admiration for general Markiplier 😂🤣

[@bloody_blade2185]

This day, over 430.000 ducks have died in the cruel battles of Markiplier. It will never be forgotten in history.

[@ZackShark1]

No ducks were harmed in the making of this video

[@doughboidays3039]

I love the instant realization at 35:17 “did the floor sink in” to “they are fighting on a hill of bodies”

[@X-SPONGED]

Fun Fact : The Impact Force of a Mantis Shrimp's Punch is Roughly Equal to that of a .22 Caliber Bullet from a Pistol. The Punch is so hard in fact, that it BOILS The Sea Water surrounding The Shrimp's Claw. [5:37]

[@garrett3541]

22 Caliber bullet actually, but thats just the speed, they can punch with a force of 15,000 newtons

[@sipstea3836]

@Zoomer Stasi Was it soft? Pft

[@garrettjohnson1486]

While it is true that the water boils when a mantis shrimp punch, it is from low pressures, not high temperatures. Its claw closes so fast that the water can't fill in the space behind it fast enough. This leaves a vacuum bubble behind, in which the boiling temperature of water is near 0 degrees Kelvin. This causes the water to boil until the bubble can close again. This same effect can happen when a boat's propellor spins at high speed - it's called cavitation.

[@treybrewer1629]

they should add squirrels. because I'm confident I'm not the only one that remembers mark was once known as king of the squirrels

[@coolnamepending4738]

Let's all take a moment to appreciate lixians beautiful compositions of battle music

[@andrew_wow6892]

Mark gave a move command to all of these ducks behind enemy lines. They were ordered to walk THROUGH THE ENEMY BATTALIONS TO GET BEHIND THEM, WITHOUT ACTUALLY ATTACKING THEM. It's like a reverse surprise attack

[@PokefanGuquizUjixyz]

‘‘The surprise is that there is no attack.’’

[@alexsmith6482]

It didn't register in my head what Mantis Shrimp were, until i saw them. They're the ones capable of punching at super speed, faster than a bullet, and can boil water around them.

[@thegamingwitch]

Yup. That's the reason I wanna own one. I just gotta make sure I get a tank large enough with thick enough walls lol

[@Blue-fg8vt]

@@thegamingwitch your gonna end up like the ducks.

[@sadflix8754]

They’re the ones that basically have guns for claws, right? Im thinking of the ones that fire super deadly bubbles

[@GAxelic]

@@sadflix8754 yeah that's the one honestly they seem like something out of an anime its crazy

[@fishtail2616]

@@sadflix8754 I think thats a different one. Mantis Shrimps just punch really hard, that noe closes it's claw hard to create super deadly bubbles

[@NerdyPotato96]

21:22 "What even is a fullauto sherman?" 0.5 seconds later: *ducks leave earth faster than my dad getting milk*

[@zachb982]

Can’t wait for two generations of technology from now where each fighter is an individual ai with personality that learns over the course of the battle

[@crazy922blade]

alternate title: 37 minutes and 28 seconds of ducks with helmets getting demolished while the general sits back and records it for content, makes humorous commentary and films closeups of his men exploding into a cloud of feathers while laughing nervously.

[@user-xl1du3gp6q]

I cant believe that the ducks have their voice lines. The duck saying "ill kill you" made me laugh so hard🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣