496- Oversharing and Underinvesting: The Social Traps That Snare ADHD Adults

Interrupting conversations. Appearing not to listen. Revealing too much personal information. Making friends as an adult with ADHD is hard for all these reasons and more. Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., explains how to overcome common social traps.
How to Make Friends as an Adult with ADHD: More Resources

• Download: The ADHD Friendship Guide for Adults (www.additudemag.com/download/...)
• Self-Test: 10 Questions That Reveal Toxic Behaviors (www.additudemag.com/is-my-fri...)
• Read: 3 Common ADHD Friendship Challenges (www.additudemag.com/relations...)
• Read: “How I’m Teaching My ADHD Brain to Listen” (www.additudemag.com/talking-t...)
Access the video and slides for podcast episode #496 here: www.additudemag.com/webinar/h...
Thank you for listening to ADDitude's ADHD Experts podcast. Please consider subscribing to the magazine (additu.de/subscribe (www.cambeywest.com/subscribe2...) ) to support our mission of providing ADHD education and support.

[@chrispasson1940]

This resonates with me in dozens of ways

[@divergentmind2023]

i was able to manage my life without meds until before peri menopause, and it has been a decline so significant after having kids, now almost 46 and i feel the impact of a life lived with insomnia, digestive issues, and anxiety because of silly mistakes and blind spots and hypo fixations that caused me great losses, more complex my life became less capable i felt to manage it well, this memory issue is a huge handicap and i felt crazy most of my life and it is getting so much worse, i have tried so many strategies and diets, my life is exhausting 💔 the oversharing issue i thought it as necessary because i was scared that others would not know how to help me properly. this took me a long time to understand how needy it made me look and feel 🤭

[@nid2598]

I am 46 and perimenopause has made it worse. Memory issues are real. Infact, I didn't know I had ADHD until now when it got really bad. Don't know how to navigate this.

[@divergentmind2023]

@@nid2598 my therapist said, new phase needs new strategies, so true, we will find new ways to make our lives work better, we have amazing minds and we are tenacious, we will find a way through this stage as well. we are no longer suffering alone. i started taking progesterone and it helps me to sleep more. i also was told about estroven and amberen, tried the first but after 12 days stopped with GI issues. i will start the second tomorrow. then i will try opill since it has only progesterone. found out i have endometriose and started treating it. i am counting steps. meditating. lifting. checking hormones. accepting and asking for help. doing one task at the time and making lists of my daily needs, using alarms and telling the people close to me that i need help to remember things, that i need them, my kids have been precious as well as my husband… so don’t give up, keep searching, you will find your own way out of this as well. watching videos have helped me to keep adding new ideas and find people ahead of me. diet is a big part of it for me. i do better with greens, beef, eggs, some legumes, water kefir, pickled carrots, liver, berries and electrolytes… when i cheat… i do cheat…. i pay for it. fasting is even better 😁 i wish i could live off of sunlight.

[@cammitchell5732]

Fantastic descriptions and examples. I remain curious, as always, is what the hell is everyone else thinking, or not thinking. It’s that incongruity that always trips me up.

[@ayeshasyed9158]

when married, all these things about leaving parties early, disappearing for a while during a party, etc might not work. i have a controlling abusive husband who still "holds me accountable" aka emotionally abuses me for hours on end and persecutes me about incidents where i took time iout for myself or left early or broke the perfection facade and actually spoke to people at parties. im living on a prayer to get out of the situation. planning as well, but executing the plans with adhd is the issue.

[@divergentmind2023]

💐

[@StaciMonster]

I wish you all the courage and luck in the world to get out of your situation. No one should have to live like that. You deserve so much better even if you're not entirely sure that you do. I know adhd can make you feel less than. But you deserve to be happy.

[@prahslra]

Quietly educate yourself about narcissism and get the hell out of there, please.

[@heatherabusneineh6281]

I have a friend that I used to walk with. I haven’t contacted her this season, because I’m not sure that I want to continue growing this friendship. She occasionally brings up her religion, and wishes that I would join it. Her intentions are good, she wants for for me what she has. My husband and daughters are that same religion as her and I respect it, but I am not interested. She only brings it up on about 10% of our walks.

[@divergentmind2023]

you could always ask her not to talk about that anymore, that it makes you feel a certain way, most people would respect your wishes. good luck.