Adult Autism: what's it like to get a late diagnosis? My story..

I get asked a lot of questions about autism and especially what it's like to be an autistic adult female. To be honest, I'm still kind of getting my head around it, but in today's video I explore a little of my story so far since receiving a diagnosis at the age of 35. Today's video is a personal one sharing a little of my story. I hope you find it interesting, I'd love to hear a little about your experiences too - please share them in a comment, or link to any relevant videos/ blog posts etc you've shared.
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I hope you find this video helpful. Please take a moment to leave a comment about what you did and didn't like or sharing your own ideas or experiences.
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You might also be interested in my books:
Can I tell you about self-harm: amzn.to/2EkpcNc
The Healthy Coping Colouring Book & Journal: amzn.to/2SfT4xG
Using Poetry to Promote Talking and Healing: amzn.to/2BV80ML
Self-Harm and Eating Disorders in Schools: amzn.to/2SSUJyN

[@brostenen]

The biggest issue when being diagnosed as an adult, is realising, that one should have had help from childhood.

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

Yup. But nobody had any idea that it even existed in less disabled people, much less it's prevalence. I was just diagnosed at 57. Explains everything, but still hard to wrap my head around because I also have a "gifted" level IQ and ADHD. Figured out the adult ADHD thing a decade ago and the IQ thing in first grade, and had a strong indication of autism / aspergers from an online test at the same time as the ADHD diagnosis, but dismissed it. With growing ASD awareness I sought a referral and was diagnosed by a speciliast after a 3 hour aseesement. I was born with it and I'll die with it, becuase it's who and what I am - a rare phenotype with gifts and deficits. I'm not "normal' so the social world of ordinary people makes little sense to me. In the end I'm glad I now have a framework for understaing why I've struggled with employment and social situations throughout my life. There are not many "treatment" options - I think it boils down to acceptance, and setting up routines and rules for myself that align with my intense focus on things that I love. Knowledge of self and acceptance of limitations and embracing my passions are key. So is the support of freinds and family in this regard. That's how I'll make meaningful contributions to society. Not through conforming.

[@sewitfits7393]

@@TheWilliamHoganExperience Hi I am 54 and Canadian. I am seeking a diagnosis. Do you have any recommendations? My sister, who knows me very well was the one who suggested I might be autistic and its like the light went on.

[@irenedavo3768]

@@TheWilliamHoganExperience hello

[@irenedavo3768]

@@sewitfits7393 any up date?

[@darklittlepeople]

true. but if it helps, i wonder whether the help back then was as sophisticated as we imagine/ wish it would have been, and also, we would potentially be exposed to/ suffered from ill effect of stigma, etc. all we can really do is make sure the future generations have it much, much better.

[@MsDamosmum]

I'm 55. I was diagnosed 5 years ago. It feels like no one so far has accepted my diagnosis. Probably the only benefit I've gained from a diagnosis is to be a little more accepting of myself. I've accepted that I'm probably never going to hold down a job working closely with other people because too much tension builds in those relationships. Fortunately I've managed to turn my hand to clothing alterations and just about earn a living doing that working at home. I'm also not going to try to have an intimate relationship anymore. I find it incredibly difficult to fit the role of a wife. In truth I just find most roles one has to play as a human being just too exhausting to undertake, but if you met me you would think I was doing just fine!

[@blonze69]

Can relate

[@nenee009]

I know how it feels to not be taken seriously, that sucks. But I hope acceptance will come one day, and if it doesn't, f the rest and enjoy yourself as much as you can 🤗

[@sewitfits7393]

I have never been able to have a relationship but up until the recent turn in the world, been able to cope with having a job until I started being bullied at work. I am also into clothing, a special interest. What you said here is where I am at right now. My mask is in for repairs and I am defenseless. I am currently undiagnosed but hoping that my GP might help me. It's such a relief to find other people like me.

[@MsDamosmum]

@@sewitfits7393 have you tried an online test for autism? If you get a high score for ‘being on the spectrum’ you can try taking that to your GP (though they can often be dismissive of an online test) hopefully your GP won’t be one of them

[@irenedavo3768]

How are you now?

[@SNAFU04uk]

Your book layout makes me so happy

[@faeriekatie7913]

I was thinking.... wow... amazing

[@lisawanderess]

I love it too as I’ve always arranged the clothes in my wardrobe in rainbow order 🌈

[@timefortee]

NO!!! It would probably mean the subjects are mixed and not in logical groupings.

[@Aydrenn]

@@timefortee I agree.

[@nadeaneell]

Yes it's my favorite! Also on the spectrum! Hi!

[@ElsieDee001]

I’m 67, and after watching several videos on female ASD, I think I’ve been autistic all my life! It explains SO much!!!

[@irenedavo3768]

Any update

[@ElsieDee001]

@@irenedavo3768 Only that I’ve learned to cope throughout my life.

[@melissad8824]

Your "rambling" is how I talk anytime I get excited and allow myself to just talk without fear (usually only to my husband lol). So it is SUPER nice to know I'm not alone! This is the first of your videos I discovered, and I'm looking forward to binge watching through your channel now. :D Thanks for sharing!

[@astridjaye6224]

I ramble badly and go on massive tangents and it takes so much effort to interact and I suspect this in myself but don’t match the my picking up on the verbal cues part. A therapist I talked to today ( just the intake person but is a therapist ) when I mentioned it a little as something I suspect said yeah I was actually thinking of of people I’ve met who have that. We shall see

[@irenedavo3768]

How are you now?

[@vTrixGuns]

I have just found out that I have autistic it was a big relief

[@attackingthehunter]

I’m currently self-diagnosed seeking a professional diagnosis and this made me feel the most amount of “normal” I have ever felt. Thank you so much for this video, really ❤️

[@thehermitscove7942]

I really love the color coding. Now if only the books were arranged by how tall they are while still being color coded. Thank you nonetheless for an informative video. You are the awesome-est!

[@otterwench]

I was diagnosed as autistic last year, age 58. It is a lot to get my head around! I am grateful for the tools I am learning that help my days go better.

[@mikmik1855]

I will be 33 in March and I’m in the process of a diagnosis right now. My mind has been utterly blown apart by all of it. Still trying to understand it all, so thank you for sharing your story. You and the other late diagnosed autistic women of KZbin have been my only friends through this process and I’m very grateful. I would be so lost without you all.

[@jaz398]

My only friends too. My family doesnt take my diagnosis seriously. Think I'm using it as an excuse. Im 44 diagnosed at 36. Feel so alone. With children. Life is tough. Thank God you guys are all here

[@irenedavo3768]

Any up date?

[@libbyfinn5695]

I’m a self diagnosed 48 year old woman. My psychiatrist is going to organise a formal assessment once my anxiety is more manageable. I really identified with your video and I particularly like your colour coded organisation of your bookshelf.

[@kimberleykimkimmykimber.8163]

I too am 48 and feel I have Autism. This is literally eye opening! ...I guess my next step is a dr.appt.

[@teresapaliwoda]

did you get your diagnosis?

[@C.I366]

I noticed that too. The colour. It reminds me of my obsessions

[@danielvantsant]

Yes the hair colour matched the books so did the shirt. Excellent video. Late Autistic people really find comfort hearing people that have been through the diagnosis period so thanks for the video.

[@BunnyQueen97]

This makes me hopeful that with the right professional, my really insecure self-diagnosis won't be laughed or belittled out of the room. Even if I'm not right, it's still a decent place to start.

[@wendymontgomery8566]

I was diagnosed a couple months ago at age 36. I can relate to so much of what you have said here! Also, the way your bookshelf is arranged makes me really happy.

[@irenedavo3768]

How are you?

[@katiestraw4937]

My therapist reccomended this video to me, I have just been diagnosed aged 21 and can relate so much to everything you say, its nice to not feel so alone

[@robertjmccabe]

I was diagnosed at 38 and it was mind blowing. At first it was a relief, then i fell into a deep depression and I have finally made peace with it. Paradoxically, I find that I’m a better people person now that I know I’m autistic - I have been reaching out to old friends and have been better able to understand others. Also, I had a talk with my parents (now in their 70s) and told them to stop treating me as a broken child - it blew their minds as well; we haven’t talked since then and, while it’s sad, I refuse to be hurt by their close-minded convictions any longer.

[@mawunyomorga8658]

same story here...may we make peace with it and become the best we can be bro

[@irenedavo3768]

Any update?

[@robertjmccabe]

I just turned 40. I’m getting a divorce from my wife. Life doesn’t seem to get easier, but I’m definitely stronger due to this. Lots of people are very mean and manipulative…

[@greenviking9583]

Thank you Pooky. I was diagnosed last year at 42. I already had a diagnosis of C-PTSD. Apart from the fact that there is almost no help for adults with autism in The Highlands of Scotland, having the Autism "label" doesn't help when the NHS staff know nothing about autism. I stumbled on this video because I am trying to find videos to give to my GP as they have no real understanding about autism. I "came out" as having autism to my friends and all of them told me they didn't need to know about autism because they know me...but like you said, they only know what I show them.. My only hope is that during this lock down people will start to educate themselves about autism.

[@irenedavo3768]

How are you now?

[@nategetsreal7605]

Thoroughly enjoyed your sharing! Somehow, it feels so much better to hear someone on the spectrum relax and just say whatever comes... Than listening to "regular" folks talk. Perhaps it's just the release of sharing the things we spend our lives not saying - and hearing the honesty of feeling without the need to make it "fit" some expectations... Just simple truth. You speak truth well. Thank you for sharing.

[@Yadeehoo]

Am I the only one whose life got worse since diagnostic ? Not like I dont recognize myself in it but then it made me realise that less things will be possible in life. Before that I had the benefit of not knowing it and on a misunderstanding it could sometimes work.

[@Ian-Steele]

A gem of a rambling video. Definitely the best kind. Being open and honest about things is so important to all of us and helps in understanding. As an aside I love the section at 4:55 where Buddy suddenly realises he’s on camera and strikes a pose. 😄

[@PookyH]

Thanks Ian - and I love the bit you pointed out - I now can't see anything but Buddy's beautiful eyes :)

[@cwhitson7281]

Hi, I commented a while ago about some self harm issues I was having. This was about a year/year and a half ago. I then got diagnosed with autism last June, after concoring my self harm issues, and suddenly everything fell into place. At first I was rather overwhelmed and felt a bit out of place in my diagnosis. Nearly a year on I feel I have embraced it. My teachers at school now know and I can get extra when I need/want it. One thing I still struggle with though is with my peers at school, I have told very few of my friends as in a school environment being autistic is like being a walking joke, it would be never ending teasing and talking behind my back. Like u said about masking, most people don't know I'm autistic because I don't let them know. Everything in this video I can relate to, between the diagnosis and self discovery from it, I've watched ur videos for well over a year now and this has helped me feel a lot less alone as I know no one in my life with autism. Thankyou so much.❤

[@PookyH]

Hi Catt - it sounds like quite the journey you're on - I'm sorry it's not easier but stick with it. It sounds like things are headed in the right direction. In time, I hope you will feel more able to be unashamedly you without fear from your peers. One of the things we teach teachers is about the importance of peer education - kids are rarely cruel when they actually understand / are given the chance to ask questions. Maybe this is something to explore wit your teachers as it sounds like they're being supportive?

[@meganmapletoft792]

Your colour coordinated bookshelves made me smile immediately! I love it :D

[@Poniella81]

I am 40 and just having huge epiphany that this is me. I identify so strongly with your description of your experience. I’m exhausted. Thank you so much for this. 🙏🏼

[@irenedavo3768]

Any update

[@scottcampbell9479]

I have just been diagnosed at 46 seems a relief in many ways. People just don't understand me and it makes me anxious to the point where I don't want to talk to anyone anymore

[@VeganOrganizer]

Thanks for sharing your story! I'm also late diagnosed (two years ago at 42), and I really identify with everything you said - the relief at finally understanding why I find 'normal' things so difficult, feeling like I don't deserve the diagnosis, etc....

[@juliethope1403]

Thank you pooky for your videos and on line courses. My daughter is 14 and we are in process of getting an ASD diagnosis. She is very unwell with depression, anxiety and self harm. I can't believe I didn't realize she was autistic before now. Your videos and on line courses and book recommendations have been a life line for me to understand her and help her. Thank you so much

[@irenedavo3768]

How is she now?

[@stuartrushworth5487]

I was diagnosed at 37. Rather like your experience I found the diagnosis cataclysmic in its revelations. I had always felt that I was on the run through my own mind and diagnosis helped me to understand that I was actually on the run from waves of unfiltered information. I too have an extreme sensitivity to noise and I can only cope as well as an environment will allow. What came alongside autism was a diagnosis of memory problems and I can say that my confusions are my main challenge. Autism, for all its alienation, is a place I have come to understand well, whereas memory gaps are the thieves that make typing this quite hard. Fine Art study saved me from continuing isolation, because it gave me an outlet for expression. All in all I would say that a late diagnosis of Autism leaves a vast hinterland of uncertainty, to the extent that receiving a diagnosis is like being accepted as a refugee. My native country is not here, it is place in the past. Here is instead a friendly state that is not entirely accepting but is better than the other. I do think that children who grow up with full knowledge of autism have a very different experience from those that 'come in from the cold' in their later years through realisation or crisis. I think there is an underlying desire to finish that previous life armed with our new insight, but we can never go back. These days I am much older and I am learning many reconciliations, which is what brings me closer to non-autistic people who are in their sixties, meaning there is common ground after all.

[@irenedavo3768]

How are you now?

[@stuartrushworth5487]

@@irenedavo3768 It is odd to be in my sixties. I am going grey. I think significant amounts silvery grey hair sends a signal out that any odd behaviour you might might be what older people have anyway. Unfortunately I can still only function in environments that are very predictable and quiet. In noisy environments I find taking in information very hard. It is easy to look back when you are of a certain age and look back at chances when you might have fitted in better. However I have to remind myself that I probably lasted as long in any situation I could. I poured enormous energy into projects but I found them baffling when they became very social and complicated and professionalized. I think hobbies have become useful. I think that hobbies that link to a meeting place are the most useful, because they mix solitude and a meeting-place. There are also habits that have helped me in an odd way, such as a carrying a folded local newspaper. Carrying a newspaper seems to make me less conspicuous. I don't know why, maybe it indicates to most people that I am more talkative or informed about the community than I am.

[@steveneardley7541]

Today I went to the gym (which is sort of far away), and there were people playing such loud awful music that I said forget it and left. Before I knew I was an Aspie I would have berated myself for being so "sensitive," but now I don't. This pattern--of pretending I am (or should be) okay with loud or unpleasant noises--has been a major part of my life. Now I just make whatever adjustments I can, without any self-judgement. @@stuartrushworth5487

[@oceandrew]

It's become very useful to hear from people who've come to realise their autism later in life as I can relate for the first time in ages... I'm 63 y.o. And your "rambling" was quite clear and easy to follow though, perhaps, your bookshelves' colour coding gave me peace which made following easier. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights.

[@irenedavo3768]

How are you?

[@volumus5245]

I'm not 30, I'm not 65, I'm barely 17. I'm in the middle of getting a professional's opinion/assessment on both the topic of autism and adhd which are both making so much sense to me. I sort of diagnosed myself after I started having more and more doubts after talking to a couple of diagnosed people. What really bothers me about it is the fact that I had to find out what's wrong with me by myself as it kept getting written off as depression, ocd, anxiety, so on. My whole life I've felt like I'm a daisy growing in a rose field, unable to shake off the feeling there's something wrong with me. I wasn't the one who was supposed to know this, I wasn't the one who was supposed to dig out a diagnosis as a teenager. Nonetheless I'm so grateful I'm finally learning about who I am and that I finally like myself as a person.

[@irenedavo3768]

How are you now?

[@amaterasu-9114]

i have a special needs child. Through many therapies with him i started to notice so many similar mannerisms between us. has come to my attention i might be autistic. im 33 years old and have always known something was different. i didnt know practicing conversations or replaying old convesations in my head was something unusual. i feel like ive been in the dark for a long time and a light has finally been turned on. thank you for the info

[@RomanH1984]

The book organization is great. The fact that her hair matches the books on the shelf is just wonderful. ✌💚🖖

[@KatieM786]

ASD and EDs are really common as co-morbid conditions. You are absolutely making sense. I'm still getting used to my adult diagnosis but I'm so much happier in life now. I hope you are ok.

[@nancywysemen7196]

there was something you said about black and white thinking that came up with eating issue that presented the observation in the real world sooo well. look forward to checking in again.

[@angelaanderson993]

LOVE! I'm 42 years old and am FINALLY scheduled for an assessment on October 19th. I've started making videos myself to help explain things to friends.

[@serenlove3270]

I'm a 42 year old female and was diagnosed 3 days ago. Listening to you has helped me. I had bulimia for 20 years and suffer with poor mental health. I masked mine in the day with working hard, people pleasing and then the evening drinking or taking some form of prescription or street drugs. I have masked my entire life that I don't know what is real or not. If you read this message as I know it's an old post. Can you recommend any books for me to read. Mainly about women and their lives so I can feel a connection and understanding. Thanks for the video

[@cad0420alice]

I love the way you organize your book shelf by colors, so cute

[@Pincer88]

I'm 53 and I only got diagnosed three years ago. A life long struggle suddenly made sense. The one thing I still struggle with though is an enduring sentiment of loneliness. I've been married and have a son (15), but intimate relationships and Asperger... nah, it just didn't work out. But nevertheless I miss a soul mate and an intimate relationship very much at times though. I wonder how you or people on this channel manage on this point.

[@nigeriasimone6065]

I was just told by my therapist yesterday that I’m likely autistic. I’ll be getting an assessment soon. Already, I’m feeling better in my day to day life. I’m letting myself do things I didn’t before (at home, knocking on my chest when I’m anxious or rocking side to side in the doorway to calm myself). Also giving myself grace during about a lot of things. Recently something happened where I was speaking to honestly about a person and they were offended. I still have no idea what I said and was melting down about it but I’m feeling a bit better knowing that it’s likely an autism thing and I’m not a bad or mean person.

[@DeborahAnnsuperversatile]

Yes true. I have been letting myself 'stim' a lot more since I have known. It helps so much to be "allowed" to do that. I just allow myself to be myself.

[@nigeriasimone6065]

@@DeborahAnnsuperversatile same! I’ve been stunning a lot today. It makes me feel a lot better! But on the other hand I feel like a fraud and like I’m just acting. I’ve heard others who’re diagnosed late have dealt with this too so I’m trying to reconcile with this feeling.

[@DeborahAnnsuperversatile]

@@nigeriasimone6065 yes, because it is a spectrum and also kind of like different "types" of autism with the way people present with it. I understand the feeling. You are not a fraud. It is just that we got diagnosed late. I have listened to some other KZbinrs on this subject also. It is helpful.

[@lauratheexplorer6390]

Hello, thank you for putting this content out there. Your dog is so cute! I think I might be on the autism spectrum. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD Borderline Personality Disorder in my late 20s. Now I’m 31 & I never knew what autism was! I only knew about the male type autistic person. But I didn’t know I would relate to much of what I’ve heard of the female perspective.

[@whichwitch96]

I am 24 and I'm just starting to realise I'm probably autistic... Going to try and get an assessment soon. The more I hear about it the more it makes sense for me

[@kitten1122]

I'm 25 and even though I've had a handful of friends and boyfriends over the last few years ask if I am, I am finally looking into it and learning. They had a terrible time figuring out what was wrong with me as a child and teen. I agree with my current diagnosis of cptsd but I've found those community members to be a bit different from me and my views/experiences. I am hopeful autism may explain the rest of my symptoms.

[@aaddiis45021]

Are you on wsb thats easy way to check

[@jennabarton433]

Bye Buddy! Cute doggo 10/10. But also thank you for this. I'm 42 and just got diagnosed. I'm much like you, animated, bubbly, a bit too good at masking. Diagnosed dyslexic in my 30's studying Aisne now this. It's hit me harder than I expected. I don't know where I fit in to the world. But your video helped me feel better and I thank you for that. Xx

[@garryfowler]

Excellent piece as always Pooky. I will admit that until relatively recently, I didn’t know that there was an Autism Spectrum. So this video will also help educate as well as inform. Interesting you mention that you have to learn to forgive yourself. That’s something I find really hard to do. Also, when you mentioned putting on a mask I was reminded of something my counsellor said to me 15 years ago. “I think you’re scared most of the time, but you hide it well”. She definitely had me pegged 😉

[@Shining4Jesus]

I just found your videos and am looking forward to listening to more of them. And love how your books are in order of color I would add them my tallest to shortest. And I also talk fast and make no sense to some people when I am excited or nervous

[@BrianPoppe]

I love how your books are sorted by color the way I would, but then I realized I was never looking at your eyes, and at points I was not listening to you because I was seeing what books you had… then rewind…

[@Pippastinak]

Never had eating disorders or dyslexia, but still soo relatable. I’m 37, undiagnosed, and my son is getting answers to his assessment in two days. First time I really related to autism was 20+ years ago, when I saw a documentary about Asperger’s, but pushed it away because I didn’t think I was autistic enough to be autistic. Only recently learned about how some girls with autism hides it without realizing, because the are enough socially aware to mimic their peers.

[@irenedavo3768]

Interesting

[@denielle671]

I love how the books are arranged by colour. It is soothing to see it. Can't stop looking at it. Wish I could do mine like that.

[@satki08_]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I was diagnosed recently at 27. Have you heard of Laura James' memoir Odd Girl Out? I found a lot to relate to there. I think it's important all autistic people feel they can claim the autism label, but I understand your feeling of not 'deserving' it too, but in my experience it fades with time :)

[@henriettajsoneskelin7806]

Who else is noticing the half-brown-half-green book above the screen-left shoulder, that is grouped with red books, although there is a shelf of brown books just above the other shoulder? Stresses me out but I enjoyed the video

[@GutsAndGall]

I relate so much. Diagnosed at 47.

[@GutsAndGall]

PS I color coded my books too :)

[@lizm9863]

Great team...you and Maudsley working together... So exciting... So proud to be subscribed to your channel... Has really helped me understand so many aspects of Mental Health... Thank you so much 💕

[@edwardsong7628]

I can relate to a lot what you said. I went through life with getting comments such as "look at me." Then I look, "Please don't stare at me." So I don't stare, but I look. Now I got shifty eyes. I never could get my actions right. I am just always out of sync with everyone else. I never could get a job, so I tried solving the problem with getting more education. First I became and engineer, then got a Ph.D., and finally became a lawyer. After all of that schooling, I was left with no job and a bunch of student debt. I didn't have a filter, so I said a lot on my mind. Soon, no one could stand being around me. My peers laughed at me, and my professors couldn't stand me, Thus, I had little chance of finding a job. I now know that I am autistic. Since then I got a job as a substitute teacher. Though I am severely underemployed, it is a good job for me. As a substitute teacher, I don't have to form relationships. I'm good at following the rules, and can get a new assignment before trouble brews. In the past, I found that I run into trouble starting after about three days on a job. So I try to stick with one or two day jobs. The downside of constantly changing assignments, is that when I switch schools, I have to alter my routine. That can be stressful. I've now been experimenting with longer jobs and now am more open about being autistic. I sense that it does help. Though, some people around me, treat me like a toddler. However, I feel that is better than always being treated as the scapegoat.

[@Muhluri]

I’m just doing research and I totally relate to the retrospective thoughts about how I behave in social situations. There’s always at least 1 thing that I thought I did wrong

[@HealthWeathRecovery]

Getting a diagnosis for autism is extremely difficult especially if you are a woman and older. Oftentimes young autistic girls are overlooked and just thought to be a little quirky

[@lifewithlawnaj]

Love how the books are color coordinated

[@maylissbjerke9204]

You explained it all really well.. i relate to all of it... could not have done it better myself.. its all right and practised in my mind, but it comes out like a soup ..

[@PeachPlastic]

About a decade ago, my partner has been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD but ended up running into issues with stimulant medication so went off it years ago; for the last two years or so, he's had behavioural psychotherapy for anxiety. Personally, I believe it's high-functioning autism because he basically checks all the sensory and social criteria that surpass those of both ADHD and Anxiety. Besides, the logic of his seemingly OCD tendencies are all organised around being overstimulated, not fears he's trying to avert. Using this theory to better support him has incredibly improved our relationship; but he seems doubtful about going to see any diagnostic centres - which I can understand, since former doctors haven't exactly been helpful, ever. His therapy is going to end this year and I wonder if that can be a chance to explore the possibility. I'm obviously not a doctor, though I have an education in social/health studies. If you have any ideas how to approach this topic more easily/gently/casually, I'd be all ears! It would also help to know what the testing itself is like. I have combined-type ADHD and cPTSD, so I sympathize to am extent, but there are limits to my ability to understand what's happening with him, and he can't always describe it. I'm generally hopeful, though, since first coping strategies based on only the idea has already been a bit helpful. (:

[@kurisuisaway]

you're already an inspiration for me (in my 30s and undiagnosed but assessment coming up)

[@ruthhorowitz7625]

I should make a video about what it's like to get the diagnosis in your 50s

[@PookyH]

That would be great!

[@crystaltichenor480]

I'm 35 and just now realizing this may be the case for me. Everything matches and makes sense. At first I was mind blown and in awe and now I'm just sad. I've always felt so different alone. I tried to tell people so many different ways. I've been misunderstood for so long. I've never belonged anywhere. People have been so mean. :(

[@crystaltichenor480]

Different AND alone**

[@robertjmccabe]

Yep, my biggest revelation after getting diagnosed was how fake and selfish everyone is. To me, it seems like neurotypicals are all about lying just to win social points. I’m pretty much scared of everyone now. I find it comforting to meet autistic people online because they are real. My only fear is that some people would fake being autistic just to jump on the bandwagon of “thinking different”. My gosh people are selfish. Hang in there.

[@crystaltichenor480]

@@robertjmccabe Wow. You kind of just blew my mind bc thats EXACTLY how I feel. I often think how much everything is a lie when you really break it down and it's extremely depressing and isolating. I'm scared of everyone now too. I'm scared of myself in a way too... because clearly my judgment often makes me into a fool. 🤦‍♀️ Ugh. I don't understand anything. I swear. Thank you so much for your encouragement. It was much more needed right now than you'll ever know. Thank you again.

[@robertjmccabe]

@@crystaltichenor480 If you are into reading philosophy, I’d recommend Dostoevsky’s “The Idiot”. IMO the main character is autistic (even tho ASD wasn’t a thing back when the book was written). That book really gives you perspective.

[@crystaltichenor480]

@@robertjmccabe I am and I will absolutely be checking it out. Philosophy is kind of my life mentor lol thank you for the suggestion!

[@shamyable]

Informative video, love the bookshelf. Something I have on my to do list!

[@burtonmacready7369]

I’m 35, about to turn 36 and finally self referred for an autistic assessment (though I have a 6-12month wait), after suspecting I had Aspergers way back in 2012 when we were getting my daughter diagnosed but I wanted to just focus on her. My brother was officially diagnosed autistic not long after. I feel like you about it, my brother and my daughters autism impacts them more than mine (potentially, if I am assessed as being on the spectrum) so I feel like I can’t be autistic as I’m not autistic “enough” but really it’s just that autism is individual. Also like you, I beat myself up about conversations ALL the time! All my life!

[@staterawolf823]

So my twin brother was diagnosed at age 2. I just got my diagnosis at age 26 (January 2022) We were born 3 months preterm and it was a traumatic birth my mother said. And my Daughter got ASD diagnosis December 2020 at age 3. So I felt the need to pursue a diagnosis cuz I related heavy to my brother and what the DSM5 qualifies for ASD. Being female with Autism 1990's still wasn't well known. It's really said that I fell through the cracks. They just thought I was being a brat, stubborn, rude or oppositional, socially wrong, learning and mental health issues. I hate not getting sarcasm or jokes with a firery passion. Makes me feel embarrassed and angry with myself. People knowing I struggle with jokes sometimes says them just to see me struggle like its self is the punch line. People suck. My dudes, I'd say all the time, "I didn't know how to human." 😩 I have said this my entire life before this diagnosis 😅 Now it's like, "I don't know how to human like the typical humans do." 😂 I also feel like I can be in support groups for Adults with ASD and not feel like I'm faking these struggles.

[@imtheeternalscholar]

My books are ordered in Author and release date; for example, I have all of Bryce Courtenay’s from 1st to last book. I’m also working on getting all of Charles Dickens books as well now! Otherwise, (apart from that,) my house looks like a bombs hit it! I haven’t insanely organised it yet!

[@MaxluvsMya]

Thank you for this video! It is really helpful to me. You are so good at speaking.

[@canadiansmarties]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I relate so much

[@LuchadorMasque]

I was 36. Adhd at 34. I saw that one coming. But not aspergers I still have trouble describing myself as "autistic." It makes me feel like I'm cheapening the challenges of those further along the spectrum

[@Jake-of9fv]

your struggles are valid!

[@Jake-of9fv]

:)

[@LuchadorMasque]

Nobody would believe me if I did

[@phailynrowan7976]

I worked with a few very autistic children in college so I can relate to your position. I'm also considerably older and although I'm very dyslexic there was no term for it. I managed to get around it even without spell check, but it did require vast amounts of white out, LOL.

[@Eliose9833]

I haven't been diagnosed, but I've literally struggled with almost every symptom of autism all my life. I recently read about how "masking" can cause regression in speech and memory later on in life and it's kind of scaring the h*ll out of me lol. I'm too scared to go see someone to confirm if I have autism or not....

[@emilyraye5663]

What?! That's terrifying. I just graduated with my master's degree in December (where I feel like I "masked" the heck out of my self throughout the whole entire thing) and for the past few months I felt as though I've regressed a large amount, which actually shook me enough to make me schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist! At first I thought it was undiagnosed ADHD because I'm no longer in a somewhat structured environment. This is shaking me to my core!

[@Eliose9833]

@@emilyraye5663 apparently as long as we accept and love ourselves (don't beat ourselves up), don't overload ourselves with stress, and have a good friendship circle, we should be fine ♡ Don't stress about it. We'll be okay.

[@purplemind93]

What it makes you lose your memory??? Shit. I’m struggling a bit not remembering every day stuff in my childhood. It’s a bit sad. I want to remember it all. Even if it’s some kind of defense mechanism.

[@peyton0001]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience!

[@lakemonster2000]

Great video! This is so helpful. Thank you!

[@emmaricketts9302]

Thank you pooky. V excited about autistic anorexia pathway development. Will it just be at maudsley or a national thing?

[@PookyH]

Hi Vic, the hope is that we will create a pathway at the Maudsley that others both nationally and internationally might choose to replicate; time will tell, but the Maudsley have often broken new ground on some of these really tricky areas and then others are able to pick up and run with the approach.

[@theoddbox]

I got diagnosed with and treated for everything under the fucking sun. But the day I saw a female psychiatrist while applying for disability a year ago when I was 19 she said I have autism and it just explained so much, even stuff I did as a baby.

[@petermcgee2162]

You are fairly easy to follow and keeping up is a pleasant outcome. Lost points of another's communication due to a mismatch between receptive and expressive speech can come off as rude when self reflection occurs either during or after a presentation by another. Wishing to replay due to interest sparked is in effect a compliment for the speaker which can be tied to both content and speed of delivery. The ADHD brain seems to hook on to faster expressive language which perhaps implies a "meeting of the minds" . Thanks for the focus, I don't remember any such pointed example experienced.

[@ellenfineran4798]

Your book ordering is very cool!

[@mycupoverflows7811]

Oh My goodness, the thing about the conversations is soooo accurate!!!❤️

[@cathyballard4442]

Thank you for sharing. I'm wondering if how you've organised your bookshelves is an autism thing - by colour? I saw someone do it and thought it looked good from a design perspective, so I did the same, but I've found that having that colour order feels so much more relaxing and settling for my nervous system. I'm currently un-diagnosed and suspect I am on the spectrum, so still exploring.

[@C.I366]

That's my biggest insecurity, inappropriate behaviour and speech in public. Good recommendation.

[@k9muers]

I got dia at 39years old support at work brilliant in life not so good wish I had more social support hello from Nottingham England

[@brittkneee3]

I think you’re amazing and I’m so grateful for this video! Thank you✨

[@gavinkaufmanworld]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences 😁

[@bloodgutsandglitter8818]

This is where I am. The struggle bit Thank you.

[@moonliteX]

just found out today that im autistic. i'm 42.

[@Eirini80]

I am 40 and i was diagnosed 5 years ago with bpd.But as years go by i feel that sth else is there except my mental illnes.But i dont have major sensory issues so i'm afraid of going to a doctor and share my thoughts about being on the spectrum.

[@Sarajevomusic1]

Oh mate, I think we are about the same level of autistic. Diagnosed this year at 31 :) excellent video.

[@skytaylor1437]

my son was recently diagnosed at age 37......but was diagnosed with audio processing at only age 3....there are no programs or help in our area.

[@geekedup9534]

I had been diagnosed with ADD at 12, and as I’ve grown older (22y/o male) I wondered if it’s just that, and I feel like I might be autistic. Currently looking to schedule an assessment

[@eileensickel]

Totally identify with this

[@jedsanford5065]

recently diagnosed here. Always knew I was different. This is really helpful. I am seeing how much this has played in my life but now i kind of dont know what to do about it. To tell people? to not tell people? idk. anyway, thanks foe the persepctive

[@SailorMoon1812]

I'm 30 and am starting to realise that I think I might be on the spectrum. I am finding this all rather overwhelming. What is going for an assessment as an adult like?

[@Muhluri]

Thank you for sharing your experience

[@Mildenstein3482]

Really helpful thabks so much diagnosed twi days ago

[@joshuapruitt1079]

I’m 35 and was diagnosed with autism last week. I’m scared hurt happy sad emotional. All sorts of feelings. Still trying to figure this out.

[@ellaamathews]

Thank you for sharing your experience :)

[@BunnyQueen97]

Wow same about college, still no idea why I was an amazing student and then suddenly was just *not* to the point that I dropped out. Because I'd done fine my whole life, everyone just thought I was giving up.

[@missydavis6678]

Yes!

[@pinkgummybearparty2366]

thanks for sharing all of this i love the rambly info dumps!! lol what advice would you give to cope with or move forward with friends and family who doubt your diagnosis, or lat out disregard it and dont care to talk about it? Im struggling w this because my family members and 1 of my closest friends havent been present for anything regarding my mental health or ASD diagnosis and i feel offended because its like theyre saying "thats ok im not interested in knowing that part of you just the mask personality youve been using". I currently am having thoughts of wanting to isolate from all of those people, but im not because theyre my family. However these reactions make me want to refrain from telling anyone unless i really test them out for a good few months/years. I have no close friends anymore

[@eileensickel]

Thank you so much. This talk is great!

[@geneguillotine4363]

I'm undiagnosed but I'm pretty sure I have autism. I've not been able to find a job and I'm about to be homeless. If anyone in KY knows where I can get some help, please lmk

[@d33pseacreature]

i’m going to get an assessment soon

[@Paisley...]

Thank you!

[@Uneekname]

Wow I struggled with anorexia and I was diagnosed autistic at 35. It makes sense that you say the starved brain is like autism on steroids. That was such a miserable time!

[@foljs5858]

Color coded bookshelf -- strong autism vibes :)

[@stealth3764]

I was diagnosed at 39, things started to fall into place but I was also angry and felt like my world was crashing down around me, it took me a long time to except i was on the spectrum. I have come to expect it now and i do more research.