Getting an adult autism diagnosis - is it worth it?

Getting an adult autism diagnosis is fraught with uncertainty, and once you’ve had your "lightbulb" moment that you think you might be autistic, the first thing you have to figure out is “should I get assessed for autism?”
There are many pros and cons to getting a late autism diagnosis, and while this video is not comprehensive, I talk about the various factors that might help you decide whether or not it’s worth pursuing an autism diagnosis in adulthood.
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[@YoSamdySam]

Guys, I watched this back and really felt I'd left so much out, so I'm sorry it's not as comprehensive as I'd have liked. Further pros include: potential improvement of your mental health, you might be entitled to support, you have an explanation for why you never fit in or struggle with certain things Other cons I forgot to talk about were: possible stigma from friends and family, lack of available support post-diagnosis, possible discrimination from employers/during recruitment. Aspergers on the Inside has a great video on this, so please check that out if you want more insight: kzbin.info/www/bejne/np3HmIl3h7KEoLM

[@sacha2545]

Thanks to talk about misdiagnosed, I experienced one in France and it's broke me a lot (I wait 3 years for a shity evaluation). Even if today there are others professionals who said that I'm autistic (I have the "paper") it still in my head, creating doubts again and again even if I was sure to be autistic since 3 years and sre to be different since always. It still hard to talk about it, I'm very affraid to talk about it, I hate listen to that I'm not look autistic specially bc of this event

[@HeathAlexander]

Seemed well thought out and good to me. Thank you.

[@tristanbulluss9386]

You're an idiot.

[@pedroff_1]

@Hasiger Hase Well, a disorder is not the same as an illness. It just means it's a feviation grom what most people experience. I, sincerely, haven't seen any of these videos calling people with autism "ill". In addition, I believe not all countries allow you to share your medical history with your employer, for privacy reasons and whatnot, so this can be a big issue for some people, bjt not at all for others. Some places may also have groups dedicated to supporting people psychologically and/or help them finding employment if they have autism, and that was the oind of assistance she was walking about. Your text really makes me think you have some stigma related to autism, but is seeing other peolle saying "you might have it" as an insult, while they are inly categorizing what you have, not necessarily judging you as "broken" or "wrong"

[@midknight1968]

To me is clear.

[@MichaelaDelaney]

I am terrified of finding out I'm not autistic. This community is the only time in my life I've felt understood and like I am normal and belong. I've read so many books and cried over so many realizations that I'm not the only one with those traits and experiences and I have a constant fear that I don't actually belong.

[@kaseyboles30]

It's unlikely if you Identify so well with the community that you are not one of us. A professional failing to get the right diagnosis is far more likely. Especially if you are not a pre-pubescent white male. Women are often dx'd borderline personality or Bi-polar instead and have to work to get it corrected.

[@user-eg9no9os7u]

Well, I am sure the community appreciate your participation. Even you are not in the same boat,It must have been the same sea at least.

[@MichaelaDelaney]

It's been 10 months now since I got my diagnosis! If you're where I was 2 years ago, don't give up!

[@Shania234ify]

@@MichaelaDelaney I am there rn. Been doing lots of research (started suspecting this when I met a friend who's autistic and found out that we shared many many traits) and stuff, but I'm just terrified of telling my psychologist about this because the previous one totally dismissed me after "hearing me talk for 5 minutes" during our first (and only) session. I also don't know how much is gonna cost me to get tested in my country, and I'm indeed scared of finding out I'm not because, indeed, this is the only time in my life I've ever felt like I belonged to something.

[@MichaelaDelaney]

@@Shania234ify What you're saying really rings true with my experience. I was brushed off and even laughed at by 5 separate doctors before I mustered up the courage to DEMAND to be referred to a specialist. Then I was lucky enough to see a specialist who is actually up to date with current research and doesn't thing you need to be a male child to be autistic. I'm also lucky enough to live somewhere that testing was free. But if you've put in the work of the research, and it sits right in your heart like that, self-diagnosis is completely valid.

[@jojooffaraway2675]

I am really worried that when I pursue a diagnosis I‘ll be told that I am not autistic because then I am right where I started left wondering why I am so weird and struggling with life so much. Great video :)

[@gianniclaud]

Same here. I just made an apptmt for an assessment and they won’t be able to see me until 2 months from now. Idk if I can keep a balanced mindstate between then and now.

[@Nipponing]

Maybe you have something else.

[@stevegreenwood7837]

l know the feeling :-) Steve.

[@lavenderboybee]

Same here!

[@stevegreenwood7837]

@@Thelittleclipstore what the f... has myer briggs personalty types got that could ever make anyone think ! o yer thats it thats me...wow and l thought l was Autistic . being autistic is much more complex .and you say.....and i realized how many many people are misdiagnosed ... if that was! true! it just shows how many so called Professional psychologists never put the time in to properly research this important topic which is really out of order when you consider how much money they charge per hour . And by the way l had a relationship with a Professional psychologist for 2 years and it was amazing how little they do know l can tell you.

[@origaminomicon8474]

"i'm not a broken version of a neurotypical person, i'm just what i need to be" this hit the spot, thank you...

[@chrissymarie6460]

I always felt broken....

[@chrissymarie6460]

Always like always, lile im crying rn cause i NEVER saw it that way ever

[@chrissymarie6460]

@Goth- Inner Obi-Wan- Bosch Wtf does that mean!

[@origaminomicon8474]

@@chrissymarie6460 don't get me wrong, i definitely feel broken. i hyperfocus on all the wrong things at all the wrong times and it's been difficult for me to stay employed and stay housed at times

[@origaminomicon8474]

@@chrissymarie6460 also don't mind @Goth- Inner Obi-Wan- Bosch, they're just projecting lol

[@iamsusankate]

I recently had a first appointment with a psychological nurse practitioner. When I requested an evaluation for adult autism, he literally LAUGHED at me and very condescendingly told me that there’s no way that I could have autism because I had worked in the dental field for nearly 20 years! He actually made me cry during much of the rest of that appointment, and I felt like I had to defend myself and the reasons why I believed I may be autistic. I felt sick to my stomach… I will NOT be going back to that office!!! By the way, I’m glad I watched this video!

[@JamieHumeCreative]

They should be fired.

[@erinzelubowski5778]

similar situation here. Let me guess, you're in the U.S.?

[@kaseyboles30]

Sadly I've heard this way to many times in various face-book groups for autistics. If your not a young white male, and/or doing fairly well in life then of course you're not autistic. It's idiotic and needs to stop.

[@kaseyboles30]

@@erinzelubowski5778 It's most of the western world that's like this to some degree. Yes the US is one of the worst offenders, but I've seen a lot of UK women also complain they had to fight way to much for a diagnosis. And others from Europe and few Canadians as well.

[@JoJo-sl7jt]

Sounds about right for a mh nurse

[@louiedale7347]

I really respect that you didn't edit out your mistake but corrected yourself

[@shaun8062]

I liked that too. I actually thought it was kind of re-innovative in a way. I know people used to do that when they would mess up in earlier youtube videos, but this addition allows much more honesty and allows others to understand you so much more. I feel it was something omitted by a lot of people later in youtube but needs to be added again!

[@ZentaBon]

@@shaun8062 I really like this too because it makes humanity more accessible on the internet, where people are often shown very unrealistic and tailored experiences of human interactions (too perfect...)

[@angelikape900]

I need a YES or a NO in 2020 so I can stop thinking about it or have a explanation when people call me weird or when I start crying hysterically because everything is suddenly too much and I can't see anything anymore

[@annacamila_]

Are you in therapy? how are you now? even if you don’t get a diagnosis this year, I’m pretty sure that a psychological therapy and a psychiatrist can give you some medication for your anxious

[@biancasantiago2958]

Whether you get a diagnosis or not you have every right to react that way in that situation ❤

[@Questionablexfun]

I relate!! Sounds so much like me 🖤 I hope you got a diagnosis 👏🏻

[@partofaheart]

I feel this so much. I am almost convinced that I am autistic but I still don't know. I feel so trapped and insane and stupid. I just want to know if I'm autistic or what exactly I'm feeling that's all.

[@imaginativebibliophile549]

@@partofaheart If you feel like you are autistic, it is most likely that you are on the spectrum. You may struggle with social communication and sensory processing and have an intense fascination in a subject area. Have you taken any online autism tests while you are waiting for your diagnosis?

[@rudyescobar7071]

My wife got diagnosed at 37 years old. It was definitely worth it for herself, and I. Per her, "It was comforting to know that I just wasn't a weird person, but that there was a reason for the way I am". She then came out with her diagnosis to all her friends in hopes that they piece the puzzle together. As for me, I have taken the time to research as much as I can about ASD. Autism Spectrum Disorder is a condition related to brain development that impacts how a person perceives and socializes with others. If I didn't know this, I would've thought my wife was just a difficult person for no reason and exited the relationship. To be frank, it can be difficult to relate to people with ASD but it is not impossible. I have to identify triggers for her anxiety and lay off in order to avoid a meltdown on her part. Communicating and spending time through her special interest is a way to bypass her difficulties in small talk. I have also voiced my needs for affection and letting me know what I mean to her. If I want something from her I just come out and ask (due to her mind blindness). I'm also very accepting when it comes to her stimming and different mannerisms. The lack of eye contact used to bother me, but it's something that I don't put much thought to now. So to reiterate, YES A DIGNOSIS IS WORTH IT.

[@idunnmyhr8854]

Good for you, taking a deeper dive in to recognize what is going on, and accepting it is what it is Finding out your strategy and avenues to make it work.

[@katjaofdenmark1246]

Interesting to hear from the partners perspective. That is very rare.

[@jaiplays661]

I know that I'm very late to this, but this was so nice to see. Its nice to see that there are kind, caring people like you in the world who would not only accept somebody with ASD, but go above and beyond to accommodate for their needs. You're a good man

[@tropicaally]

that’s so relieving to hear, i’m so afraid i’m too hard to love

[@dianeibsen5994]

Very kind of you🌷

[@allieinwunderland9681]

I’m 42 years old and am now realizing this is me. People make “jokes” telling me I’m “on the spectrum.” My entire life I’ve been described as introverted, awkward, shy and rude. I have struggled for so long trying to understand why things that came easy to others were so difficult for me. Having supervisors come down on me for not participating in work parties or not making eye contact has lead to shame and embarrassment over the years. I’ve tried so hard not to obsess over topics, get lost in activities, not to twirl my hair or chew my fingernails and tried even harder to make and “manage” friendships...it’s left me exhausted. Your video has given me hope and encouragement. Thank you 🙏

[@cahtshiri]

Yes, why is that people think we're rude? I think we try very hard to be nice to others.

[@MaraMoreCom]

I twirl my hair too. It's soft and calms me.

[@kristenyarbrough4287]

@@cahtshiri we tend to be blunt and confused sometimes, but allistics tend to filter what they say while autistics say exactly what they mean. The different communication style can come off as rude to someone who doesn't understand it

[@alexpheasants]

I'm guessing your rudeness is actually honesty or directness. NTs put everything through an emotional assessment filter and therefore aren't direct as it may upset people. Understanding emotions and empathy is the holy grail for good masking, I've found.

[@paavohirn3728]

@@MaraMoreCom my hair is too short. My wife's hair works 😍 It's been kind of a signature couple thing for over 20 years. I just looked up and she was just doing it herself 🤣

[@jgdooley2003]

Not having an adult diagnosis is like trying to drive a truck with a motorccyle licence. Its like trying to navigate life with a different awareness of self. I was diagnosed at the age of 52. It was a Pearl Harbour moment in my life. It was not a self diagnosis but was carried out by a nationally recognised professional. While it closed many doors to careers and life progressions it opened others. It stopped me being seen as a "mistake" or being a "failure.". I am different which is not the same thing.

[@wolf1066]

Since no two people with autism are the same, the diagnosis doesn't mean people instantly know what to expect, so you still have to explain your own personal strengths and weaknesses - but at least the diagnosis puts to bed any "oh, you're just being difficult" nonsense. That's why I want to get officially diagnosed, so that people will actually take me *seriously* when I say "this is how to get the best work out of me", "this is what impairs my ability to do work", "no it's not a 'preference', it's how my brain handles things." Sick of being told I'm making it up or just being picky.

[@frenzyviz6296]

I was diagnosed at 53. It explained so much.... my whole life. I am glad of my diagnosis and I’m sure you are too.

[@doubletroublegrays]

@@wolf1066 I'm in the same boat. Except an expert opened up the possibility to me, but he wasn't able to explore further. I went through a phase of research and realized that it lined up with too many things about me and my life to not be the case. My actual doctor refuses to get me diagnosed. Which closed up a lot of possibilities of getting the resources I need or the compassion and understanding I need. I hope things go better for you.

[@wolf1066]

@@doubletroublegrays Are you not able to go to a different doctor? I thought everyone has the right to a second opinion - and that includes whether or not they'll refer you to a specialist. Having determined where I'll need to go and whom I'll need to see for an Adult Assessment, I'm planning to see my doctor this week and ask for a referral to the relevant service. Yeah, it's close to Christmas, so I'm not likely to be seen until sometime next year, but at least it'll get the ball rolling.

[@marymcnellis5311]

I totally understand.

[@camillegenois8239]

I am, indeed, totally obsessed by autism now that I realised it describes me. Thank you very much for contributing to my understanding Sam

[@ashleyautrey9408]

Just got my dignoses and it is worth it to me good luck

[@hatemondaypieczona8564]

I think I might be obsessed by autism too, I really can't stop thinking about that

[@Sky-Child]

Me too - went back my whole life and tallied things up and did a lot of research. Still awaiting official assessment! Yay!

[@molliechippeck4201]

Camille Genois me too!

[@barbarradevlin9111]

Hatemonday Pieczona I cant stop thinking about it either. My boyfriend has been diagnosed, but I am not. I definitely think I am autistic because I’ve been deep diving into what autism is and psychology as well.

[@yumanol]

I relate to the "I Didn't Mean It Like That" part so much. It's frustrating!

[@Questionablexfun]

SAME UGGGGGGGH😢

[@chiannegibbs9462]

Sammmmeeeee

[@alib1255]

Same. My co workers don’t understand and get so frustrated with me.

[@meganhanrath376]

"I'm not too sensitive (or too anything), I'm autistic" has me tearing up and is giving me more motivation to consider seeking a diagnosis 🖤 thank you so much for sharing your journey!! xo

[@theothertonydutch]

I've always felt being sensitive IS having autism. Like, it almost physically hurts for me to be touched (I'm sensitive to light, touch and sound, as well as social interactions that become intrusive thoughts over time). I've been diagnosed at 5 or 6 years old (first document is 1992 and I'm 36 now). My biggest problem is that while I've had my diagnose most of my life, I've still felt I had to do things to fit in and sort of "fix" my autism. I've only recently started to stop giving a shit and that has been giving me a lot of bandwidth to just give to myself.

[@meganhanrath376]

@@theothertonydutch Not giving a shit can be incredibly powerful! I'm so glad you've stopped trying to fix what isn't broken ❤

[@hgeri005]

I was panicking, I was crazy anxious and depressed before my diagnosis. About 2 months before I got mine, I almost successfully ended it all. Before watching the video, I'm gonna say nothing made sense up until my diagnosis, and I'm happy with it, and proud of it. And everything makes sense now. I'm unique, not a screwup.

[@FabiolaMacabre]

Im glad you are here Horváth, and that you have your diagnosis and you are happy with it 👏

[@jyrahsorzi]

I've flip flopped for years on whether I'm going to persue a diagnosis. I had so many people make comments during my childhood that this or that was an "autistic trait" but my mom hated "lables" and we always just brushed it off. I'm finally at a point where I'm almost 99% positive that I'm on the spectrum. I'm planning to get a diagnosis as soon as I can afford it.

[@lilyseymour5404]

I'm in the same boat, mother didn't want to 'label' me as a child so never got me diagnosed, so now as an adult it's going to be a lot harder so I don't know whether to go through with it

[@TheAyanamiRei]

Labels are not bad by default. It can help people understand and accept certain things easier, as well as make less judgements. Someone isn't being picky or a weirdo, they're just wired differently. Labels are useful because it means that someone gets a basic idea about something, without you having to start from scratch. I could tell you I'm a white America. Maybe I have strong family ties to Ireland or Germany, but maybe not. Maybe I'm Conservative or Religious, though maybe not. I might or might not be racist. etc. Yet you would have SOME idea of who and what I am, along with certain expectations, that you wouldn't have from say a German or Canadian or Ireland. However having an official diagnosis can be problematic, depending upon the laws of your country. One person mentioned that if they get a diagnosis, it means if they have kids and get a divorce, the other parent will get 100% custody of the kids. There's also the fact that some people will react negatively or have screwed up ideas about things too though. As a kid it can be rather beneficial since it means schools will be FORCED to provide certain services, and even as an adult with colleges. At least here in America. This can include a quiet place to take tests for example. If you have problems holding down a job, getting on financial disability could be good.

[@sabcayen9814]

When I researched the symptoms of autism it totally clicked with me and explained a lot of what I deal with, It also made me aware of things I do that I never even considered. I totally mimic others social behaviors, and analyze social interactions after the fact thinking if I did or said something wrong. I overthink social situations ahead of time because im nervous. When Im with a few friends I can interact fine, but when its a big group I dont talk. People are simply overwhelming and Id rather be alone. I no longer have friends and have never had long term friends. A lot of times I tap my fingers or need something in my hand to click or twirl in order to concentrate. I smile a lot just to cover the fact that I am not comfortable around others and don't know how to interact. Sometimes I am really sensitive to light, textures and occasionally sound. I have always hated hugs, it would give me anxiety. when Im interested in a topic I can research for hours and hours, but when Its school I have a difficult time focusing (I believe this relates to the executive function). This might not have a strong correlation to autism but I am extremely clumsy and generally reject femininity (I am female). I have heard that there is a correlation between gender dysphoria and autism and gender dysphoria is something I have struggled with for a long time. I would mimic the way girls dressed so that I would look more normal, even if I didn't like the clothes. I literally picked out my outfit based on what people I would be around, just to fit in more. These might not all be because of autism but I makes sense to me. I really want to get a diagnosis just to confirm and explain why I have always felt so different and honestly broken. However, I am terrified of people not believing what I say or what I'm going through. I know I mask the symptoms really well and people just think Im shy, so they won't think I have many symptoms. I have really low confidence in myself and that would honestly make me devastated to feel like I don't know who I am. I don't expect this to be read, I just wanted to think things through, because I am eventually going to tell someone, It just freaks me out.

[@Do0nii]

You are worth of finding yourself and enjoying life your way.

[@randiolsen1840]

I came out as a trans woman 3 years ago and pursued an autism diagnosis last year. And yes there is a high prevalence of gender dysphoria in autistic people (according to the psychologist I saw). Everything has been a journey of self discovery and self learning. Finding out everything that is “wrong” with me has helped me accept myself as I am. I still find myself learning more about my autism and recognize when it becomes overpowering. I know what situations are going to trigger my anxiety and I’ve figured out how to mitigate those to a level where I can continue to manage it and/or recharge. I let the relevant people know almost immediately (family, co-workers) telling them I don’t need any special treatment just for them to be aware that if I do something “odd” it may be because of this. I still try to appear neuro-typical but I don’t feel bad when the mask slips anymore. It’s gone from “what’s wrong with me” to “it’s the way I was made, no one’s fault”

[@sinkandrelax]

Wow - you just said it all for me.. I feel/think exactly the same way. That’s reassuring to me, and I hope it is to you too.. thanks for taking the time to put your perspective out there.

[@kureru3522]

"fall down the rabbit hole", that's exactly how I've been feeling since I stumbled upon your channel and started suspecting I could have autism. I also wonder how much of it is due to confirmation bias and looking for 'excuses' for some of my inconvenient personality traits 🤔

[@justuslightworkers]

I feel like everything I do is a rabbit hole...and a lot of it has gotten me into a lot of trouble.

[@sarahrothwell9229]

Yes. Confirmation bias is exactly my concern as well. Am I just recognising these traits in myself because of a prompt?

[@FabiolaMacabre]

Omg this is how I feel too, I started to fall into the rabbit hole and so much matches my experience, but at the same time I feel this feeling of being an impostor, like I’m reading too much into it. I keep postponing scheduling an assessment out of fear of the results and the possibility that it’s not autism.. then Im back to square one 😭

[@bthelight4444]

Feeling exactly the save way

[@laurakurkowski4413]

I’ve round having a diagnosis to be both liberating and slightly saddening at the same time. I wish there was more awareness of autism in females years ago. Diagnosed in my early 40’s which has been so helpful in structuring a life that supports my real needs. And a touch difficult knowing all the very difficult younger years with those “What’s wrong with you?!?!” statements. I am still known as “freak girl” by many high school classmates. But onward and forward!

[@SlyMeerkat]

I was recently diagnosed with both Autism and ADHD as an Adult and for me, id say its 100% worth it..... Anything to help know yourself more is great and it took a massive weight of my shoulders when i was told i have it :)

[@erinzelubowski5778]

What country are you in? How'd you go about it?

[@suicidalalien6298]

Who's your doctor? Care to share the deets?

[@shiayamoore6943]

See im in the same boat as you im pretty sure I'm both but I think they are only going to give me the ADHD label. I need both because I always said I felt like a walking contradiction. I need things the same but I could also randomly take a trip to the zoo. Like it has to be my choice to change plans. If things don't go as planned it could turn into a meltdown.

[@Mary-nh1qe]

What did you get from diagnosis?

[@snoeleppard]

12:55 This is what happened to me. I brought up with my doctor that I thought I might be autistic, and he basically said, “So what if you are? You’ve made it this far without the label/accommodations, haven’t you?” It made me scared to further pursue a diagnosis. I have yet to go through the process of getting diagnosed. I think however I go about it, I’ll have to do it without help from my parents. They’re kind of in the same boat as my doctor, and also think that I’m just fine. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, and your video has certainly helped me to think things through. Thank you!

[@jackalsblood8403]

My ex said the same thing to me when I was thinking of pursuing a diagnosis...it’s kind of crushing.

[@jasonclarke7422]

People do not understand the extra difficulties that we have,they look at us and see a normal functioning person and we know ourselves that we are far from it, your doctor should be ashamed,and I feel with their attitude should not be practicing as they could do real harm being that dismissive if someone went to see them with serious mental health problems.I feel that it is important that you go for an Aspergers assessment just for your own peace of mind. I wish you all the best,but please find yourself a more understanding doctor.

[@Roman-bw2fo]

To me, its more about quality of life For example, is it possible to survive in a wooden shack? Yeah Will it be comfortable? Probably not To me, life without a diagnosis and accommodations is like that little wooden shack. If some are alright with or even prefer the shack, then thats fine for them.

[@barrieevans9719]

I wish your doctor had asked you what it would feel like to YOU to get the diagnosis. I’m considering checking this out the next time I talk with my therapist. I certainly don’t want to hear this question. If I do, I will say that it’s for the same reason we are talking about trauma and the influence of having a narcissistic mother and a narcissistic spouse: I will understand myself better and be that much more aware of what I need to get through my day with less stress, panic, and confusion. Why aren’t others more concerned about the use and UNDERuse of the Oxford comma, for instance?

[@aiodensghost8645]

The accommodations are sparse to begin with. I needed an IEP starting in middle school, never got it. Sure, I still graduated high school and had passing grades, but a lot of those were 80s when they could've been better.

[@Eartha-Celeste]

I was 70 when I had my diagnosis ,it was a great relief, all the fragmented jig saw pieces of my life came together, if I had known years before my life could have been so much better and easier. It really made me think about my life and I did mourn the life I could have had, but having said all that ,I am glad I had the diagnosis as I now know why I am like I am and why other people don't always understand me.

[@jacwil1415]

hi jen, i'm 72 did u get diagnosed in uk? :)

[@hulamei3117]

I'm soon 70, in August and learning about autism has answered many questions and why life before was so difficult and confusing.

[@silverwizardess7921]

My parents never took my sensitivities or behavioral patterns seriously. My feelings and thoughts were never valid to them and only as an adult am I able to explore my own ideas and express myself without fear of punishment. Even if I'm not autistic, I would greatly appreciate knowing why I am the way I am and how I can effectively work on the negative mental and behavior patterns in my life that I'm having a very difficult time overcoming.

[@vidutsharma152]

Same here

[@heatherwind]

I'm honestly torn. My son was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 4 (he's nearly 24 now), and worked with a speech therapist all the way through school. It wasn't until many years later that I realized he got it fro me. I didn't know there apparently was a family history of Autism (I learned my mother was non verbal until age 4), and I have the same food aversions, light and sensory sensitivities, and other hallmark issues he does, though we both have different triggers. That was part of what helped me empathize with him as a child when he was struggling -- because I truly understood what it felt like. But when I was a kid, we were just dismissed as hyperactive, weird, over-emotional girls seeking attention. I learned how to mask and script, and do everything I could not to be singled out as The Weird Girl (and usually failed miserably). I'm nearly 50 now, and while part of me dearly wants to get official confirmation (because I have NO doubts what I'm dealing with now), the American health care system is an absolute trash fire and I just don't know if it's worth the wait list, expense, and stress on my family to seek validation -- especially when there's little to no support for autistic adults. I've literally lived with this all my life, and yes, it's hard not to fear being dismissed as a "hysterical menopausal female". It's hard enough for us to get diagnosis for issues that can be physically tracked (took over 20 years to get hypothyroidism and PCOS confirmed, despite family history of both!), let alone mental and developmental issues, especially as women. The only reason I've considered it is for the sake of my doctor knowing, since I'm currently on meds for depression and anxiety as well. I'm so tired of fighting to be believed when I know something is wrong. And I don't know that a confirmed diagnosis will actually bring any beneficial change anyway after all this time. All it's really done is help me recognize the outdated coping mechanisms I've used all my life that I don't need anymore.

[@JeffSmith03]

Me too on everything you said, with the exception that I did finally need to get that diagnosis. I was glad I did because it helps me now that I am in appropriate therapy and still facing new problems like suddenly not being able to get a job, and not being able to rely on parents anymore

[@karenyoung2526]

Everything you've said resonates with me. I'm crying right now.....its took 46 years to be diagnosed with ADHD and now I'm getting a diagnosis for autism. My Son who is now 21 was diagnosed aged 3. Why was this missed with me?

[@erinzelubowski5778]

I've had so much trouble getting a diagnosis in the U.S. I first thought ADHD (now suspect ADHD&ASD and my husband sees it from the outside - has students with both as a teacher and he sees both in me), went to a psychiatrist who was supposed to do an eval. She basically told me shes not going to do an eval and only can help with med management. If I don't want meds then I'm not for her. I tried Prozac with her and went off the rails. Stuck with it 10 days due to "transition period" and it got worse and worse. Had physical symptoms - my resting heart rate dropped from avg 70 to 58!! 58! - that of a runner - I'm an overweight Mom who never ran in her life! The psychiatrist, pharmacist and my GP all told me I'm being a hypochondriac.

[@bthelight4444]

I hear you

[@freedomisrising]

PCOS, hypothothyroidism, ADHD, sleep apna, heart irregularities, etc. (this list could go on for a while,) run in my family, and that is because the MTHFR gene mutation runs in my family. I have several of the above. I thought that might be helpful for some people t know, because some of you have entire families who should be tested for MTHFR.

[@tashachantal5711]

As a 25-year-old woman who is 98% sure I am somewhere on the spectrum but am constantly told by my parents that I'm "just depressed" you give me so much hope. I really appreciate that you make a clear effort to be as objective as possible and remind people that no matter what you feel or experience you are valid as a human being. you are one of the many amazing and helpful autistic creators helping me to find myself in a world designed for people with different brains than me. THANK YOU for being brave enough to share your experiences with the world, THANK YOU for helping women like me feel a little less alone, and THANK YOU for being your wonderful beautiful self!

[@AlxNWonderland]

I am prone to fall down rabbit holes of information and am often in wonderland, hence the name. I obsessively researched autism in females, autism in general as well as the barriers to diagnosis to the point my boyfriend said it was "unhealthy." It wasn't... I resonate with so many things, finally feel I have found people who understand and relate to me in the autistic community after a lifetime of isolation and loneliness and have taken all the online assessments, which left little room for doubt. So for now I am self identified autistic, but my family won't hear anything about it... I finally found a specialist in my area and have the evaluation and assessments scheduled! 😳🤯😬🙀

[@hotchacolate2]

Hello, are you willing to share an update?

[@emilyvisser1804]

I'm pretty much the same as you. I've been researching heaps and probably getting abit obsessed which is what my parents and boyfriend have told me. My doctor has sent a referral to pursue a diagnosis but haven't heard anything😅 I'm guessing it will be rejected. But it is like a light bulb and you finally feel like you fit in and not think your going insane cause other people relate to you. It's such a comforting and reassuring feeling

[@shayelea]

More than anything it would be nice to know that all these things I’ve been criticized for all my life and have had to brutally suppress in order to even sort of fit in are not PERSONALITY FLAWS, they are (maybe) symptoms of neurodiversity. But I had a conversation with my mom tonight about this and I definitely didn’t get a supportive response...and given I am physically disabled I’m not sure I have the spoons to go it alone. Thinking this over and trying (HA!) not to obsess. Thanks for making your videos.

[@lsmith992]

Share Eller. I had a problem with my mum too. She took it as a personal affront, like it was her fault that I could be autistic . I had to let it go with regard to her.

[@forgetfulbum]

Hope that you have come to terms with her. Family is usually taking aback by anything that could label you as diverse and expose you to critics, not realising that you are exposed to them anyway (or at least this is what I have decided to believe in)

[@biancaf4867]

But you're not alone. There is a whole community. I don't know what the rest of your relationship with your mom is like, but please don't let her hold you back from a diagnosis. I had pneumonia when I was 17 or 18. I felt like I had the lung capacity of a teacup and was afraid to go to sleep thinking I would die in the night. I kept telling my mom I needed to go to the doctor urgently... she didn't take me until the next day. They did a chest x-ray and found my lungs were filled with fluid. Had I not pushed, who knows what would have become of me. I know it's been months since you posted, but I hope you were able to get the answers you needed. If not, don't give up because certain people won't support you. There are always those out there who will, even if they're just strangers on the internet.

[@FabiolaMacabre]

Im sorry about your mom :-/, I also mentioned it to my mom recently and she was a bit dismissive, I expected that, so I just dropped it with her. I guess I just wanted to see if she suspected it at all or if she saw any signs of it in my childhood. My brother on the other hand, was more receptive and he also suspects he’s on the spectrum. I think some parents have a hard time accepting this and not taking it as a personal attack on the parental skills..

[@cyohe8643]

I hear you. I have decided that I don't need an official diagnosis as my hubby would never accept it & I told my friend whose response was: "I don't see it in you." I was like: of course you don't. I mask incredibly well & my stimming is subtle. I had a bit of a meltdown after I got home. Anyway, after doing a ton of research; I definitely meet the criteria. Now I just need to figure out how to deal with it.

[@AdamSmith-gs2dv]

IMO it is worth getting one for two reasons: 1. You finally know why you are always the odd one out 2. It gives you access to state services and accommodations you wouldn't normally have access too.

[@tihana13]

May I ask in which countries number 2 is valid?

[@AnxiousCowboy]

@@tihana13 probably not USA

[@tihana13]

I am in Croatia. Not here either.

[@niamhs6042]

@@tihana13 I think in the UK and European Union maybe although I'm not sure how reliably. I'm getting a diagnosis so I will be able to access support at university and at some jobs

[@tihana13]

@@niamhs6042 Thank you for your response. Croatia is in EU. I might check it even.

[@libsybum3591]

I finally had my autism assessment, after waiting 2 years, a few days ago and got told I am autistic. I already knew this but having it as an official diagnosis has shaken me. I’m not sure how I feel now being “officially” autistic. I got told things the assessor noticed and now I can’t help but notice them too. It’s all very weird

[@WhatsMyNameAgain93]

I NEED to say the following. The comment you made at the beginning about researching and autistic tendency to go down the rabbit hole made me quite literally jump for joy. I had JUST texted my wife apologising for not replying as I was “down the autism rabbit hole” after watching several of your videos back to back, and the very next video I watch uses the exact same wording to explain what I’m doing. All of your videos make me feel extremely seen and validated and it’s a very new and surreal feeling. Thank you

[@tiptoes9847]

They say I'm the way I am because of my abusive/neglecting parents. They don't want to see that I was always like this even as a baby and a child. I have also C-PTSD that I discovered recently (makes sense because of my toxic parents.) My doctor says BPD.... But knows only stereotypes of autism... I don't see the fear of abandon. Or affective dependance. I'm good by myself. Just need support for the social parts. I have too much affective empathy. Sorry for my english. Love you all. Wish you the supports you need and love, of course. 💜

[@SodaSpeakNow]

Moon Light uhg this happened with me for a long time until I finally got a doctor that understands “non obvious” autism. It is especially tricky when you have both CPTSD and autism because some traits are similar but different enough that you need different coping tools.

[@lunamooncat7926]

Got BPD too but started looking into adult autism and cptsd because BPD doesn't feel like it fits.

[@daltonlucas5529]

Sounds like a lot of blaming others and obsessing over the past... do you have a hard time forgiving people? And hold grudges for a long time?

[@CrystalMouse1]

Tip Toes omg this mirrored my story exactly (not to discount your valid individuality). My mother is a diagnosed borderline, my father an absent narcissist. My grandma and sister are autistic. Abused by my mother. I’m autistic but my doctors just say I’m a victim of these people only and I should succeed if I fix my ptsd. They see in my chart my history of hospitalization and my fibromyalgia and write me off as psycho.

[@gracevalentine1666]

dalton lucas your comment sounds like a guilty conscience- who have you bullied in other places? You seem like a bully.

[@screamingminnow920]

over $600 to get tested but damnit i’m doing it ive waited my whole life to be listened to

[@picashlio3361]

Yes.

[@AllyCat0909]

Wow, I got my first price the other day and it was $2.8k USD

[@kit10]

Thats the cheapest I've seen quoted so far where do you live

[@krisweaver8939]

4K in Los Angeles.

[@spiritcat77]

$1125 for assessment and summary report in Australia.

[@sicilykentner9775]

I just want to thank you so, so much for all you've done with this channel. These last few months have been a struggle for me as I try and figure out my identity, and your channel has helped give me terms to use as I learn about my brain. I cannot express how grateful I am.

[@haridasi-]

I completely adored the "I'm not crazy, just autistic comment" and the need for vindication by the medical community. Many has been misdiagnosed, and your comment was spot on. Thank you!

[@linaleia]

Funnily enough, one of the things that convinced me it was worth seeking a diagnosis, was because I DID fall down that rabbit hole of obsessive research. It seems very common that newly diagnosed people develop a special interest in neuroscience. I’m beginning to think it should be part of the criteria 😁 great video as always!

[@garyfrancis5015]

Lina Blackrose Oh yes would say a special interest in NT psychology and autism psychology (the higher end of the spectrum).

[@SunnSkullDream]

I've been doing the same thing. My brother has ADHD BAD also so research into both gave SO MUCH insighttttttt.

[@JamieHumeCreative]

I did this and it helped a great deal. I prefer the Uni lectures but they are not always available.

[@AWindy94]

I just had my first therapy appointment last week. This channel was one of the inspirations for me to finally go out and seek therapy. So I just wanted to say, thank you for doing what you do ❤️

[@DrumWild]

I am 56 and got my testing and diagnosis 3 years ago. One of the down sides to it is that I am told that I have a "convenient excuse." This comes mainly from my mother, who has no understanding of how these things work. Her persistent advice involves the word "just" [i.e., "Just work through it."] and comes with zero compassion. While it does explain everything, I am finding that there is no fix for any of it, so far as I can tell. I have to "just accept it," as a certain person would say.

[@SodaSpeakNow]

Thanks for this video! A few other pros about getting an adult diagnosis: 1.) it helps with getting work and school accommodations 2.) it helps with doctors you go to for comorbid issues. For example, my neurologist and GI doctor took some things more seriously with an autism diagnosis because epilepsy and GI issues are so common with autism. 3.) some people are able to get disability benefits from the diagnosis. 4.) when people do not believe you, especially family members, you can show them an official diagnosis. Honestly the most important thing for me has been having a therapist who specialises in autism and has been helping me with coping skills. Now that I have an official diagnosis she is able to feel more confident with giving me these tips (up until this year I was misdiagnosed with other conditions such as bipolar and BPD)

[@yolandawelch2689]

I am recently diagnosed as an adult and self identified once I had decided to pursue the diagnosis process. I was told by my child's diagnostician that I should have an assessment. I dismissed it for a year due to my lack of knowledge- mainly due to me only knowing 'common male traits'. It's obvious now that I am autistic (a sentence I can say after a life of struggling in a world I had to adapt to) and an official diagnosis did make me feel validated. It explained all the things I fought to hide. I'm not going to hide them anymore. It's not about a label. I know why I behave the way I do now and know there's nothing wrong with me. Nothing's changed but the realisation.

[@cahtshiri]

Wow! I have both epilepsy and GI issues, and I'm sure my PA knows there is that "indefinable" part of me that I now know is autism. If you think k it is helpful for them to have that "official" diagnosis, then maybe I should see about getting one.

[@SodaSpeakNow]

@@cahtshiri it really has made such a difference! They are also more patient with me when I start having panic attacks instead of just giving me dirty looks. It took me until age 31 to finally get one and this last year I’ve gotten so many things done medically that I never was able to get done before!

[@cahtshiri]

@@SodaSpeakNow Fortunately my PA takes me seriously and refers me to other professionals when I ask her.

[@clicheguevara5282]

I’ve never in my life gotten a correct diagnosis from a mental health professional. They just want to give a quick diagnosis, throw drugs at it, and move on to the next patient. 😕 Luckily I’m a hell of a researcher and have a genuine, lifelong interest in psychology, so I was able to diagnose myself correctly - and therefore pursue the proper treatment.

[@stonescorpio]

I have no idea whether I'm on the spectrum or not, and that's what scares me off from seeking a diagnosis more than anything. I've always been a bit odd, had obsessive interests, had few friends, displayed some odd mannerisms, etc. Learning to drive was agony for me (I nearly passed out from fear the first time I drove in city traffic), and I seem to be hypersensitive to internal physical sensations. But at the same time, I get by well enough on my own, and some people have even told me I'm a charismatic speaker. I think I read expressions pretty well, and maintaining appropriate eye contact isn't generally too hard unless I overthink it. I don't think I've ever had meltdowns or shutdowns. So... I don't know. It wouldn't be the worst thing for me to go to a therapist and be told "I don't think you're autistic; it seems more like you have X or Y", but my big fear is that the therapist wouldn't even entertain the notion because of how I present myself. I could accept a negative answer, but only if the person assessing me was willing to seriously entertain the possibility, and I'm not sure if I could find that.

[@catalinamarina1]

This perfectly describes me (I'm diagnosed autistic) apart from the charismatic speaker bit. And instead of nearly passing out driving, I just started out very very carefully and didn't get real confidence until long after I got my license. Don't be deterred by the symptoms you don't have. Nobody has them all.

[@quillheart877]

Learning how to drive was the single most difficult thing I have ever done.

[@KayColeLynn]

It took me 4 years and 3 rounds of temps to get my license and even then I had a small brake down right as my test started. I have a list of other things from childhood till now that makes me wonder if some of these issues that we never really got an answer to were signs of autism. I think I’m afraid to get tested though because I don’t want to be treated differently if i do have it.

[@nickzika6575]

Thank you so much for this video. I was recently diagnosed at age 40 and constantly ponder "what might have been" if I was diagnosed much earlier. The official diagnosis has created a sense of validation. I look forward to viewing the rest of your videos!

[@dailydoseoftabitha6239]

Thank you for putting that audio in there about the crazy part. It was very thoughtful and kind! 😊

[@arthurdevrome8925]

At 46 I'm diagnosed recently and in Netherlands it gives extra protection against layoff. Nice extra! But also clarity some things aren't flaw or sin or weakness or so but just the diagnosis.

[@ness249]

Hi! Im also living in the Netherlands (i dont speak dutch tho), how did you get tested like do you get asked questions etc. how did it go?

[@goblinwisdom]

@@ness249 hey, totally late but also for anyone reading comments, making an appointment with your GP is your first step in NL. discussing about why you think you may be neuroatypical and then referral to services. this will be covered on even basic insurance except the first part of your eigen risico €385 I think it is atm. Make sure you advocate for yourself and if you meet ppl in the system who don't fit with you or seem to be really stuck in old teachings it's ok to ask for someone else like or even change what service you use. Getting the right therapist is really important.

[@iamarkie]

I'm 37 years old and this summer I was diagnosed as someone under the ASD (TEA in Spanish 🤣: Trastorno del Espectro Autista). For me the diagnosis was a important moment because it explained lot of things that affected my life and my relationships. I'm from Spain, Barcelona specifically and it cost me around 300-400 euros and about 2 or 3 months for the results. As a female (but right now I considered myself as a not binary people) autism or Asperger wasn't a possibility because I thought it was a male disorder but recently the Internet opened my mind. Currently I know that I have now tools for surviving stressful situations and that I can work to improve my every day life. My life is better now and I think that even an adult can get something good with the diagnosis. Thanks for your videos, they are very helpful.

[@cockycookie1]

Curiously, lots of enbies are autistic

[@indiradefa3733]

@@cockycookie1 sorry for replying so late - a common sign of autism is often ignoring the concept of gender roles/binary

[@kathryn6092]

Your channel is absolutely part of that rabbit hole research for me!! I’ve been hyper focused on this for days now. And I also have a life-long special interest in psychology. I’ve been researching my mind for well over a decade at this point 😅 and I finally figured it out!!!!!

[@scarlet0stars]

This is exactly the information I needed to hear. I've been searching for this kind of guidance for weeks! Thank you so much for this.

[@alexandrabroadbere8253]

I am a disability support worker, my family always laughed about me potentially being on the spectrum, and I have had several clients I work with express that I work well with them because they believe I'm on the spectrum and that way can relate to me. I have dived right into reading about asd and watching everythingggg about it. I think that I could potentially have aspergers, however I am unsure how to go about this. I have taken the asd assessment online in which I scored 42/50. I think that getting a medical diagnosis/assessment will really help but I am for some reason afraid of approaching a doctor!

[@mrsk812]

I am so grateful for KZbin and people like you because it is great to hear others who are like me who can articulate our experiences in such an easy to understand way. I was officially diagnosed in my early 50s. I had a very close family member who is male who was officially diagnosed. I had never heard of such a thing until then. I wanted to understand autism and my relative’s experience more so I started researching the subject. I found info on female Aspergers and it blew me away. It explained years and years of confusion in my life. So, I went to a psychiatrist and he did diagnose me, but to make sure I got a second opinion. For me it was a relief actually. For me it started a long journey of self acceptance and understanding of myself. It was a good choice in my case.

[@ninav6740]

The diving into a topic and becoming borderline obsessed is something that I have done my whole life, and it is amazing to finally have an explanation for why I am the way I am. I am still playing with the idea of pursuing a "real" diagnosis but your channel has been a huge eye opener for me and have made me realize I am likely on the spectrum. Thank you so much

[@pink_hanna]

ur channel is a huge help !! i even sent one of your videos to my mom because u explained it so well and in such a non judgmental way that i feel like it will get through to her better than i could 💖💖

[@Jonsey-lm5sv]

I got my official diagnosis just this year at the age of 50. After months of self diagnosis and deep research, it does feel satisfying to finally have it acknowledged. I also have a background in psychology and formerly worked in behavioral health (in fact it was a co-worker who first pointed out that I seemed Aspergian). It’s such a relief, because it explains SO many things about my weird life of not quite fitting in. I just wish I could have found all this out sooner. As a young girl in the 1970s, I don’t think Aspergers/Autism was even much of a ‘thing’ so I guess better late than never is the way I should look at it.

[@digtzydogmemechannel5670]

I'm currently undergoing the testing. I'm in college and struggggggling so hard. I hope I get my diagnosis as a 22 year old girl.

[@galaxymaxter]

in the same boat with you!!

[@parenthesisss]

Same situation for me! I suspected I was autistic before but going to university has made my difficulties even more obvious!

[@ScissortailStamper]

You have been a part of my self identification and have been a guide for my rabbit trail.

[@jschiek8054]

Your channel has been a part of my research. There have been red flags my entire life, going back to why I was asked to repeat kindergarten because I couldn’t respond appropriately to social cues. Unfortunately, this was the mid 80s and the only thing people knew about autism came from Rainman. I just turned 39 and within days of that birthday, had this bombshell dropped on me. It’s amazing how this changes everything and nothing all at once. I feel relief and regret in equal measure. Thank you for what you do.

[@kayleekarnes5817]

Kudos to the autism community for being so accepting. Your videos have been putting some puzzle pieces together (no pun intended) for me and have helped me make more sense of myself. I'm definitely going to research this more.

[@Maxwell4President]

As I sit an watch Your video, I think about my sons recent diagnosis and how I have really been digging deep and looking back in my life to see what there is and this is all hitting home. Thank you for helping us get through the thought process.

[@bryanmerton5153]

You are amazing! Thank you. Researching this has been my obsession for several weeks now. Still learning. Your info has been invaluable!

[@kreaturekreated4454]

This is the channel I need! I have not been able to relate to everything you have said in so many videos. Everything makes so much sense now. I passed the first test with my psychiatrist, so I qualify for further investigation. If I get the diagnosis, I'll honestly be relieved to find out. I have wondered about why imso different my entire life and it sends more than just my adhd. I need answers and I feel like finding this out would really do me and those caring around me really understand better.

[@tanyasidello7885]

This has been everything I have been internalizing. Thank you for this!

[@YoSamdySam]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

[@johncarmack1174]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for trying to cut back on using the word "crazy!!" And taking the time to edit in a sidebar about it! I love this channel! I'm going in for an autism diagnosis next month and hoping for a vocabulary that will help me navigate the world better. I appreciate you & this work!

[@biancaf4867]

I really appreciate it too, although I thought my video was stuck for a second LOL! But I definitely understand what she's saying because I have often times been called "crazy" when maybe I'm just acting a little odd. When it happens enough you start to wonder if you are in fact crazy. The more I look into Autism the more I feel that I am on the spectrum. It would explain so much and honestly be a relief to have an official diagnosis.

[@audreymaldonado5655]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It’s so nice to know that that self diagnosis is okay when you can’t afford it. I’m raising 2 Ausome kiddos and this is very helpful.

[@TheWillHadcroft]

A warm and intelligent consideration, Sam. It resonates with my own experience. I realised that while *I* didn't need a label to identify what made me different, neurotypical people did. The moment they could name it, things began to improve for me (particularly in my working life, where in the office if things can't be quantified in terms of bureaucracy they don't exist). I'm sure this video will benefit others.

[@caitlinlyons8376]

I was 23 when I was diagnosed with high functioning, i can’t even tell you how relieved I was when she said i was, I always knew there was something different about me and I was desperate to find out, also I had to pay €1200 for my assessment

[@easterbuny2226]

But what did a diagnoses do for you besides making you feel relieved . I grew up in the mental health system , I am 45 and I cannot say I have a lot of respect for these professionals or their opinions

[@pushkadog]

Hey Caitlin.. Great that you were able to gain an answer through diagnosis. I am currently seeking one my self at age 43! Not easy but i feel this is to do with identity and who i am so i think it is worth the struggle. Are you in Ireland by any chance? The name and euro fee for diagnosis made me think you might be. I live in Galway county.

[@easterbuny2226]

Yea I mean seriously I was diagnosed with Autistic like tendencies is what they called it when I was only 3 years old .I am 45 now , What does 1200 bucks for this label really do for you besides give you some kind of status with a label and 1200 buck less money then you had before ? I have been given so many different kinds of labels from the mental OPRESSION system . I really have no respect for there opinions about me .

[@pushkadog]

Everyone is different. I understand that you havent had a good experience and that it might mean something else to you but for some I believe it can mean a whole lot more. Im not looking for a personal opinion, simply acknowledgement and closure that I cant seem to find any other way. Believe me ive tryed and im tired and mentaly drained and want verification!

[@jasonclarke7422]

@@easterbuny2226 being diagnosed as a 42 year old helped me in many ways, the first being why I didn’t feel I naturally fitted in with others,processing difficulties,the anxiety and depression,and the list goes on,being diagnosed with Aspergers will never change me or some of the challenges that this causes,but it does allow me to be a bit kinder to myself which does help with some of the symptoms and has given my wife some understanding as to why I can not be in a crowded places for to long and sometimes needing my own space on occasions to wind down.

[@trish8399]

I love this quote from you, "I'm not a broken version of a neurotypical person but I'm just what I need to be."🙏💕

[@rhonnimane6928]

This really helped my decision making process. Thankyou so much for talking about this. I am in my 40s and have been thinking I'm autisic for years. Recently my youngest son got diagnosed with ASD. Now I am almost positive that I am as my son and I share many similarities. I have been sitting on the fence for a while about getting diagnosed but your points about looking after your mental health and having a way to explain yourself to others really resonated with me. I will be pursuing a diagnosis, so thankyou xx

[@pball942]

Thank you for this video Sam. I'm 50 and have yet to be diagnosed. But I defiantly self-identify. It explains so much about my life, and for the first time in a very long time I realize that I'm not broken, and I'm starting to pull out of my cycle of self-hate. Always the outsider and always the weird guy. Even though I may not "fit in" I now know I have a place.

[@Literalgcrbage]

Your videos have been eye opening to me. It makes so much sense. Everything FITS but I still don’t know what I should do about it.

[@thehumantumbledryerakamand8303]

This is brilliant, thanks. I got diagnosed in my 30's with "moderate to severe adhd" and "traits of aspergers". I always knew I was different, but trying to get family to re-evalute what they did to me is impossipble.

[@MG-qh1qi]

Listening to you speak is like hearing my internal voice be personified outwardly. The short tangents that explains the extras, the validation of things I know but cant alwaya find the words to say, the fairness is taking an us cs them approach. I just love listening to you.

[@chrissiewhite9905]

Omg that’s so good to hear x thank you! I have been called crazy most of my life and believed it! Until I raised 2 autistic children who are exactly like me! They are amazing! I am 48 years old and have stared to realise that I am also autistic. I am obsessed with your content it resonates with me deeply thank you so much for putting this out I can’t express how grateful I am. I could go on and write an essay but I will stop there! Thank you 🙏

[@alexpheasants]

This is another video that I identify so strongly with. I had an official half hour test and was told I didn't have ASD and frankly I was disappointed as I felt I fitted perfectly into all the info and forums I'd read, and it explained a lifetime of never fitting in with people. However I've just had another test where the examiner spent more time but also had access to some sessions I had with an autism psychologist, ant the diagnosis was Autism this time. For me this is great, and as you say Sam, it was great to be in a box finally I could make sense of my life! However, it seems that no one else accepts it. I constantly am told not to take any notice of it, not put a label on myself, and that everyone has the same issues I do. It's really been very upsetting that this is such a Eureka moment for me and yet my family and friends totally disregard it :(

[@v0idness]

Thank you so much for this. I've been self-identified (thank you for the term) for a few years now which has allowed me to understand myself better and to access the community and from there on strategies for dealing with my life better. My GP has been quite accepting of the idea but he has also been critical of me going through the diagnostic process precisely because of having to dig around in years of trauma. However I do know if I ever want the official label - and in the past weeks I have been more strongly leaning towards wanting it, in conjunction with once again therapy for my other mental health issues - I know I have someone who can get me started. Cost is however also an issue so we will see.

[@jennyvenom44]

only about half way through & had to stop to tell you that I appreciate you 💫 absolutely cannot wait to finish watching, then binge your entire channel 💓 thank you

[@taliasya2273]

This helped me, both with a child I am tutoring, as well as myself at 64 years old. It explains so much of my life, including never feeling like I was like everyone else; I have always been ‘different’, and lost a job mainly because many of the reasons you explain in your videos. I think official diagnosis now would be wonderful and validating, but I cannot afford the testing. It won’t change anything in my life. So, thank you for this, and for your honest opinions.

[@kyliewolfe]

Thank you for your thoughts (and everyone else in the comments too). I’ve started to wonder if I’m on the spectrum recently and honestly I really hope I am on the spectrum- it would explain so much, and I would stop feeling like I have to try to be “normal” all the time. I’ve always been sensitive to sound, loud noises especially, and though I have learned to play the social games now I really struggled socially in elementary school. I feel like I would stop having to hide the things I’m obsessed with at the time and stop feeling like I’m just being annoying because when something’s on my mind that’s all I can talk about. I think you really put into words how I feel about a diagnosis “allowing” me to feel part of the community

[@Kiddly3000]

i was diagnosed at 24 it took 18 months and 3 different doctors that worked together for me to get my diagnosis

[@Scottocs15]

New to your channel and am so thankful for yours and others videos, especially regarding adult late in life realizations. It’s been two weeks since I first realized I may be on the spectrum myself but have had a solitary job, barely any friends/no social settings, and completely built my life around “hiding” and masking so well I never realized until I got married and my wife could tell instantly. Getting an assessment where I live seems to be incredibly tricky so far, and am self identifying so far, but with going down the rabbit hole, taking online AQ and other tests, and talking with old friends, I have no doubt in my mind I’ve been masking all my life and built my whole life around it/staying in solitude. Having the assessment would be so validating and helpful, but am so grateful for your videos educating everyone. Looking back on my life and seeing all the ways I’ve masked being highly functioning on the spectrum but all the ways my childhood was held up/stalled, trouble making friends, difficult communication, trouble in school, feared relationships and social settings, being called weird and awkward all my childhood, etc……has been very emotional for me now that I recognize that. Wow.

[@PeaceLoveAndGuns]

Great video. After many years of struggle, I recently began to consider that I might have ASD or maybe ADHD, which turns out I knew almost nothing about. I did end up getting an ADHD diagnosis and my subsequent treatment outlook is very hopeful. Thanks for putting content out like this and encouraging people who may be ND to get checked out for it!

[@bojango2]

My autistic diagnosis help me make sense of my 58 years on this earth.

[@velvetindigonight]

Thank you for this so glad to have found you Sam and your channel as I can identify with you and your story. Sad thing is I'm 62 and have just self identified and am now on the waiting list for an assesment in the UK. So sad though what a difference knowing about ASD1 forty years ago would have made such a difference to my life........ it has been so painful and I have the whole BP, BPS, Despression and Anger issues going on. What a gift you are giving to the young coming up behind us. Thank you for this. Question do you or anyone know of a support group for older women with late disgnosis it would be lovely to be in contact with others? If you do please let me know? Thank you. Enjoy Hx

[@rubidot]

Thank you for articulating this publicly and so well.

[@jennyhayes9844]

Brilliant video, wow. This has helped me so much in going through that process of self-identification. Which is yeah, gobbling up all the information I can find. Thank you!

[@FlabbyAbi]

So far the diagnostic process has been going really well for me and it's helped so much already. Would definitely recommend it, and if you can't get taken seriously, look for a mental health advocate/support worker to go with you to GP. It took them a while to listen to me and for me to remember what I went in for haha

[@justtrash6673]

i haven’t had that lightbulb moment nor am i an adult - i’ve been trying to get an adhd diagnosis for a while, but while asking my therapist about it they actually identified that they think i might be autistic and want to go further to see if i should be assessed for it. your videos have been really helpful since i thought i didn’t identify with the symptoms until hearing your examples and explanations, and now this video is helping me feel better about getting a diagnosis despite knowing the stigma around it.

[@justtrash6673]

if anyone is in CAHMS and has been through the diagnosis for adhd and autism then i’d love to hear any info about it. i’m 17 so soon i won’t even have access to the service and it really worries me about what to do after

[@ralaofthevale1127]

"Only you can know how you feel and think. And only you know who you are deep inside." Thank you. I had to cry at this a little bit. You've made me feel for the first time that my "self diagnosis " (I also don't like the word) is valid. I'm living my dream of traveling the world (yes, the constant change and meeting new people is very challenging but ultimately worth it to me) and have only heard of masking and autism in women since I've been on the road. Something clicked and hearing from more women who were diagnosed in adulthood really opened my eyes to how I've been feeling and what I've been struggling with all my life. It will be at least another two years until I decide to settle down and can even think about getting a diagnosis (my travel insurance doesn't cover psychotherapists). I haven't really talked to anyone about this, because I'm scared especially friends and family won't believe me without a diagnosis from a professional. So your sentence helped me a lot. Thank you again.

[@spudmadethis]

Feeling I belong, that’s it, feeling I deserve to hold space. Crying my heart out, thank you for the words I needed

[@azylisemiku6117]

Before my diagnosis, I already knew I was autistic. Even if my family and friends told me I wasn't. It was reassuring having a doctor confirm my suspicions. Also, the assessments enabled me to understand where my strengths and weaknesses lie.

[@batbarasobczak351]

Are you on medication for your condition? Just wondering

[@azylisemiku6117]

@@batbarasobczak351 I'm on medication for my depressive tendencies, and for my anxiety when necessary. Both fairly common kind of treatments amongst people with autism, I have heard. =) but I already was before I got my autism diagnosis.

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

Getting the diagnosis meant that I got serious about the impact of autism in my life. Without the diagnosis, I dismissed the idea when my therapist dismissed it. (It had only crossed my mind because I'd read a book by an autistic woman, thinking it would be interesting, only to find that I found myself represented in print for the first time.) Had my therapist not diagnosed me perhaps by now I'd have self diagnosed... what with all the posts on Facebook. It was as important to my therapist to come to the realisation that I'm autistic (in terms of therapy). I currently have a therapist who sees everyone as an individual; what she doesn't realise is that she's erasing an experience that's has some coherence across a group. I will be addressing this with her the next time she brings that up. I was naive and gullible and was in relationships I should have never have been in. I now know I need people close to me to help screen people should I ever decide to get into a relationship again. And I need to go very slowly.

[@viktoriab4293]

On what way gullible if I might ask? Are people with Asperger's somehow more naive?

[@thaismenezes7279]

@@viktoriab4293 i think I have a average intelligence but I'm indeed very naive at 30 cuz I struggle to understand other people's intentions if they are no clear, so I get taken advantage of for too long till the abuse is clear and i freak out cuz i didn't see the clues

[@MidwestPsycho]

My therapist also blew it off, and ever since then I’ve tried to stop wondering if I am, but here is this video making me feel like I should talk to a medical professional about this

[@mmko7263]

What was the book?

[@alexpheasants]

I've had the same issue with several psychiatrists, they think it's the first rule of psychiatry to not label people or put them in a box, and to simply treat everyone as an individual. However if you've spent your whole life not fitting in with everyone else, and on the outside, it feels dreadfully lonely and confusing, and finally being able to find a group, label or box to fit in is absolutely wonderful. That's why you need to find an psychiatrist who has lots of experience with autism and they will understand this :)

[@AvocadoEaters]

Dear Sam, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and insights! Watching your video was the final push that I really needed to go and get diagnosed. I scored 41 on that online test btw.

[@fufzooz]

The diagnosis really did help explaining a lot of the things I lived through my life and I'm really glad I got it!

[@christopher_ecclestone]

This is a great video and almost exactly describes my own feelings and experience. The main part that differs is that I did finally get an assessment but I got a negative diagnosis. I'd like to tell you some of my experience just to give some of the details and a warning to people living in the UK. When I first realised my lifelong "problems" were in fact Autism I, like most people, researched it for months, and I'm as certain as it's possible to be about anything so, I got a referral from my G.P. I'd already been referred to a Psychologist and she also agreed that I was very likely Autistic and that I fit the profile of other Autistic people she'd worked with. My assessors were from Wakefield, and after my 3 assessments, I had I final meeting where they told me that (and these are their exact words) "If it was up to us, we think you are Autistic but, you only fit 75% of the criteria and to get a diagnosis you need to fit 100% of the criteria." I was really annoyed because that doesn't really make sense. I got into a bit of an argument with them about it, and in that same meeting, they then told me that I couldn't be Autistic because I'd used an analogy to explain something, and they asked "why are you taking this medication?" and told me "you don't need that, it looks like they're trying to poison you." I ended up walking out because I was so angry. In the diagnostic report I was sent it also said that I didn't get a positive diagnosis because, I didn't self harm at any time during the assessment!! (even though there's evidence of self harm in my medical records, they claim that to get a positive diagnosis they actually have to see me do it at some point in those 3 assessments. They hadn't seen me do any self-stimulatory behaviour (stimming) when I know that that isn't true because this is something I do a lot, and I know I spent a lot the time during the assessments either shaking my legs, wiggling my fingers or chewing my cheeks. My Girlfriend attended the first and last assessment and said that I definitely did those things. There was also quite a lot of other information about me that was just wrong and could account for the missing 25%. I phoned the clinic to discuss this and I was told, I was welcome to send them the correct information but it wouldn't make any difference to their decision. I ended up putting in a complaint, but they just said that they didn't remember saying the things about them thinking I am Autistic but not fitting all the criteria, or about it looking like someone was trying to poison me. Not that they didn't say it, they just don't remember, so that's it! Something else I found out was that they don't even take into account AQ50 scores because those are my own opinions. So what the point of even getting me to fill that in was, I don't know. So, if you get referred to Wakefield, just beware. And wherever your assessment happens, I strongly recommend you take an audio recorder with you and record the whole lot. I wish I had done, and I will definitely be taking one to any future medical appointment. Good luck to anyone getting assessed, I hope others have a better experience than I did. Learn from my lesson - DEFINITELY TAKE AN AUDIO RECORDER!!

[@chloecea2754]

4:38 made me cry. Thank you. I started to work as as a waitress at an airport about a month ago, and one of my managers approached me yesterday. I was having a rough time, I had just gotten my period, and my brain was all like mushy. I messed up a customer's order two times in a row, and I couldn't even approach them that's how nervous I was. And I started to tear up. I'm 21, in the National Guard, and I haven't talked to my parents in a year and a half since they kicked me out. I was having just a really bad day. She pulled me aside and talked to me, and told me that she has high functioning autism, and BPD. I've been having a nagging feeling that I have severe ADHD and BPD for months now. But she told me that she thinks that I might have autism, cuz she sees symptoms in me that she sees in herself. I never even considered that I might have autism in my life, I never looked up the symptoms, but when I did, it was like an epiphany. All my life I've been labeled as someone with a severe attachment disorder, my parents adopted me and I never learned how to have a healthy relationship with them, and all my life they gaslit me into making me think that it's my fault. And I realize that, yeah it probably could be the attachment disorder, but I have a problem with so much more than that.

[@idunnmyhr8854]

Did you decide to get a diagnosis Chloe? I am researching at 49, and it seems that I have autism, Adhd, anxiety, ptsd, asp, dyslexia. Which is turning into depression and neurosis since I can't seem to figure out my life on my own. I feel that my life might completely fall apart. I find that I can mask every thing for a few weeks, so I work on ships, and give indulgence to my weirdness on my time off. I never wanted any diagnosis before as I was afraid of loosing my work. The only way I can relax is engaging my focus in learning something new. I hope that you find some clarity and acceptance, it is likely that your manager is an understanding person to talk about it with. I have had an Amazing but exhausting life, but if I could have navigated with more informed decisions, I would have been able to control or recognize my self and situations better. It's scary to realize stuff in our brain is not typical, and in some cases hard to grasp it, especially depending upon the type of nuero diversity we have to perceive with. Like any name we give anything, it never completely describes it, we look at the patterns, understand the strategies and opportunities for better life navigation and move on. Good luck with everything and you are fine, it's also good to be different x

[@martekindustries69]

A lot of what you said hit home. I had already sort of mourned the life I could have live as I know something was different, plus I was diagnosed as ADHD as a child too. I was born before there was the asd diagnosis we have now. My mom tried to get me to an autism specialist when I was very young, she knew something. The biggest struggle I am having now is finding help and support as an adult on the spectrum. Thank you for your videos.

[@tobystevens9183]

Great video! I am on the spectrum and relate to your flavor of autism. Diagnosed 25 years ago with ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome at age 30. I have masked heavily my entire life. My diagnosis was met with scepticism by my family, myself included. I had no reference point; I had no idea what autism looked like. So my entire life I assumed that I was simply a malfunctioning Neuro-normal person who needed to just try harder to compensate for my deficits. But with so many autistic spectrum folks, like you, coming out and sharing testimony and teaching about it, I suddenly have become aware of who I really am. Three months ago one of your youtube counterparts videos (on autism) was recommended. I began watching on a whim and with skepticism, but I immediately felt at home! Of course, I gained my PhD in autism by diving in and learning everything I could! In spite of a diagnosis 25 years ago at age 30, I had no idea what autism really looked like until 3 months ago. Not a clue. I think I am supposed to say "thank you" now. Or should I have said something else?! ☺

[@jocummings3202]

My mum was recently diagnosed at the age of 54. She was referred by a therapist after many years of talking through anxiety and depression. It's brought a lot of sadness but mainly a lot of peace and acceptance. It's never too late!

[@flowerpower9541]

Did they give her medication? Just curious, I don't know if they have anything for it

[@aimeed6695]

Thank you for your channel. My brother is autistic and I’m just starting to think I might be too. I have an msc psychology and have always felt like no one truly gets me and none of my friends get me. I have meltdowns because I feel intense emotions and I don’t know how to navigate them, and most meltdowns are due to / caused by emotions linked to a relationship.

[@priscillacrockett4881]

So much validation in your videos. I use the words "crazy" and "broken" to describe myself constantly. I identify myself as a "highly sensitive person" I mastered "masking" at a young age, but never knew that it was such a thing until you explained it to me. I used to make myself nuts because I can "pass" any interview and get any job, but I cant do it...or even want it! I've never held any job for more than a year without a burnout or breakdown. When I was raising my children, who needed counseling, I begged for help and was told only my children could get counseling, not the parent...I have no idea how I survived it, lol.

[@NathalieRielNatsRielWords]

I want to thank you so much for your courage to do these videos, it is helping me so much

[@LehlaniArmani]

My cousin is an adult and she was recently diagnosed with autism. We live in the US. She had an intake appointment with a clinical psychologist at the end of July and the assessment was scheduled like a week after. The results were ready by September. So long story short, a diagnosis took a little over a month to receive. The assessment was nearly $3000 but my cousin has insurance so it was covered. The diagnosis helped my cousin a lot. It is so mind boggling to think that some people have to wait years to receive the help and diagnosis they may need.

[@kit10]

What state?

[@LehlaniArmani]

@@kit10 My cousin was in GA at the time.

[@taylorlc]

My experience so far: I had a child psychologist diagnose me with Aspergers as a child. The diagnosis was ultimately reversed. Now, at 29, my therapist of 6 months wants me to pursue a diagnosis. She was unaware of the previous diagnosis at the time when she brought it up in session. However, my Psychiatrist who saw me for all of 20 minutes to renew a prescription, thinks that I am not autistic. She also said, although it's ultimately my choice, that she would not recommend that I pursue diagnosis with a doctor who specializes in diagnosing ASD. I live in an area with very limited care for mental health and I have put in so much work to find a psychiatrist and I have to see her several times before I can get a reference. At this point I am trying to decide what the next steps are for me. I have insurance but it would still be costly. I have time to weigh my options but part of me wants to be done with it all. Thank you for this video.

[@yurmum422]

My son got diagnosed out of place that they billed the insurance in sessions for the testing. They said it was like a loophole to not concur the cost. They said flat-out testing is just too expensive and insurance doesn't want to pay for it so that is how they do it.

[@exile3119]

My adult daughter just experienced the same with a Psychiatrist. We spent 20-25 minutes on a virtual session and the opinion of the Psychiatrist was...she is not autistic because she can communicate and it would have been caught in the school system. 🙄 This Psychiatrist is basically using medical information that is extremely outdated. She did not have any knowledge about how girls/women have fallen under the radar for ASD. I even gave her a list of ASD traits my daughter displayed through childhood. She did schedule a testing assessment appointment but she said "we can schedule the test and you can prove me wrong" and then she chuckled.🤔 I was a bit taken back by her response. This psychiatrist also declared Autisim as a mental illness which I completely disagree with. From what I understand it is a neurological condition not a mental illness. The Autisim Society warned me about some of these doctors and what to expect from them. Getting a diagnosis could be a challenge (within her insurance network) due to the doctor's we will have to sift through but we will push through this and pray for the Lord's guidance as I am now an advocate for my adult daughter during this process to be sure the medical system doesn't misdiagnose or mistreat her. This video was extremely helpful and will help me prepare for her next doctor appt with testing. I have a feeling their testing will be outdated and designed as a basic/general test instead of a test more specific to assessing female adult autism.

[@TheMariamHabibi]

Don’t listen to the psychiatrist. They are in the business of treating mental illnesses since they prescribe drugs exclusively. They don’t actually care for your well-being. I’ve been through two psychiatrists and they didn’t give a crap about recommending me to get an autism diagnosis after I would ramble on for an hour each time but they were happy enough to give me antidepressants and sedatives.

[@Catlily5]

Sounds somewhat similar to my experience.

[@clicheguevara5282]

I live on a tropical island so mental health care is _very_ limited. ..but I’ve watched a long parade of psychiatrists misdiagnose and drug everyone in my family for decades. ..so I really don’t have any interest in an official stamp of approval from a psychiatrist. I know myself well and I’m VERY capable of doing enough research to diagnose myself. I’ve been an obsessive researcher since childhood. My C-PTSD was _repeatedly_ misdiagnosed by the medical industry for 20 years. It was my own research and “diagnosis” that finally allowed me to figure out what was going on with my mental health - and how to properly treat it. As a kid, my autistic symptoms were written off as everything from sociopathy, to borderline personality disorder, to just being a “bad egg” who hated authority.

[@cookiemonster3147]

Thanks for this video. I was recently diagnosed with autism and I am 45. I hope there will be proper help. But the whole research has taught me a lot about myself and a lot of puzzle pieces of my life are now falling into place.

[@hannahgomez6582]

Currently on my rabbit hole rn… I moved out a couple years ago and my life has completely fallen apart but thanks to friends and doctors and amazing coworkers I am on my way to being diagnosed and am getting help. I spent my whole childhood in my room hiding and had a traumatic past so my meltdowns were just casted off as trauma and attitude but now they’re finally realizing after years of working on ptsd and moving that I may be high functioning. My mom is in a lot of denial. Your videos make me feel very comfortable, thank you. This has been so hard. I have had a lot of public meltdowns and am finally starting to understand myself more and how to help myself. I love that you don’t see our traits the way medical text does. (I hope this was an okay and understandable comment I am just thankful) 💛