Advanced Sci-fi Civilisations Too Stupid To Really Exist Ep.09 - NOT Martians

=====VOTE on content + other perks=====
Patreon: / mediazealot
KZbin membership: kzbin.infojoin
=====Media Zealot Merch=====
www.teespring.com/stores/medi...

[@MediaZealot]

If you'd like to support Media Zealot and gain access to content voting + other perks, please consider signing up on Patreon, or joining as a KZbin member: www.patreon.com/mediazealot kzbin.infojoin

[@xWhiteRussianx1]

You should do the martians from mars attacks

[@jezebulls]

@@xWhiteRussianx1 yes please!! ACK! ACK! ACK!

[@jezebulls]

I wonder why they would vaporize their fresh bio mass food?

[@EyeOfThePhi]

u really shouldnt say stuff like "st*pid" or "dumb*ss". its super ableist.

[@themarquess]

Here's how it really happened: Martians buried the tripods and planed to invade within a couple of months or years. But then some political turmoil happened on their planet, maybe a revolution or an economic crisis followed by budgetary austerity measures and the invasion was postponed and eventually forgotten. The planet recovered soon enough, but by then the military strategists realized that the tripods are too obsolete, so they moved on to invading other places. Then some history enthusiasts find out that there's an ancient tech invasion army buried and abandoned on Earth. They gather some opportunists, inexperienced mercenaries and naive fanatics to take over the tripods without their Martian government's consent and stage a private invasion at zero cost. They fail of course, because they had no idea what they were doing.

[@luapdd1]

That is actually a good idea

[@msmaria5039]

Sounds good.

[@ichora8011]

I like this version

[@stevengreen9536]

Would be funny and double stupid of them " IF " it were true. :P

[@bryanmanuel4945]

This actually is very really good you know what I consider this canon from now own.

[@ghidotheone]

In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but the humblest of all Gods' creatures: The Tyrannosaurus Rex.

[@pardyhardly]

It wasn't the airplanes, it was beauty that killed the beast...

[@perhaps9460]

I’m so glad I recognize that reference

[@ln7929]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/q3PFeJWaj9uEhsk

[@eduardovillagomez3675]

The creature with the Latin word for king in it's name is the humblest of all🤣 God I love that joke and I miss Futurama

[@Bananappleboy]

cue bootleg jurassic park theme

[@HowBoutUHandleDeezNutz]

"Each tripod is killing humans one at a time, I swear Humanity could out breed this kill rate" Im laughing at an image of people going about their business not caring about the tripod lasers killing people

[@stormnet7836]

Seeing a a guy with a computer in the middle ages would certainly become a death sentence on a fire pit due to accusations of sorcery. And way way more people die of things like car accidents and other illnesses than coronavírus and yet we are only now screaming because of it. Its just a matter of time until we became used to it and say "Whatever."

[@rageknightsmith2067]

@@stormnet7836, seeing someone get hit by a car, is on my bucket list.

[@pickle7056]

This comment thread aged well. :/

[@cy-one]

Yeah, and then after the weather forecast, each news show has a section that informs people where their "local tripod" currently is. "Thank you Tracy for the weather. Now to Ben for the Tripod forecast." "Yes, thank you Steven. As you can see on this map, Tripod 'Jim' is moving towards Sometown this week. Inhabitants are encouraged to turn off their porch lights and work from home. Tripod Thomas has vacated the vicinity of Thatforesthere and is now moving towards our neighbors from AnotherStateOverThere."

[@stormnet7836]

@Godded Modded This was a year ago, and I was forced to swallow every word. But actually, car crashes are also rather preventable. If people did knew how to properly drive and always paid attention to the road, a good chunk of car crashes would be avoided.

[@TheKsenpai]

"I'm sure current human population could outbreed this kill rate" lmao that's so true

[@MrReaperChaz]

Lol so true!

[@AManNamedHawk]

Lmao that’s so true

[@TheKitMurkit]

That's the plan, not to run out of humans

[@Killtacboy]

Essentially the Warhammer 40k philosophy.

[@TheKsenpai]

@@Killtacboy lol with 40k philosophy those aliens would simply get buried under all those guardsmen. And in general any xeno would stay the fuck away lol.

[@AnomalyINC]

-Comes to Earth to harvest biomass -Main weapon disintegrates biomatter The Martians from "Mars Attacks!" had tighter motivation.

[@GTGTRIK]

Could be that it atomises humans to make a nicer atmosphere for the red fungus to grow?

[@firstnamelastname9550]

when i first saw it, im not sure why but i was under the impression the beam was a teleport that but people into the basket things

[@wilmagregg3131]

its more like they want to use earth as a giant farm for there red fungus growths they couldnt care less about the native wildlife as the fungus outcompetes and consumes it and apparently its the main food source for the martians considering they didnt bring any other wildlife with them that they would need to say outright terraform earth

[@MrArgus11111]

@@estergrant6713 You didn't read the book. That's nowhere in it. You're nuts.

[@Venator-Class_Star_Destroyer]

@@estergrant6713 what..you mean the martians harvested humans? yeah they did...they did the same with a bipedal martian, ik that exists cause of the fandom wiki, journalist remarks about it

[@wheatboi8255]

Listen, broken basement pipe water is some very tasty water.

[@nobleman9393]

Sounds legit

[@Kalleosini]

How would they know it was water?

[@Zaprozhan]

FOUND THE MARTIAN!

[@Toon_Lucario]

How the heck do you know how it tastes

[@Toon_Lucario]

Jakob Nielson ah yes a man of culture as well

[@sandraj45617]

Maybe they are the antivaxxers of the universe?

[@sandraj45617]

Templar Knight true, but I’m more talking about the 2005 version of the martians, the older ones had a reason, the newer ones are just idiotic, wouldn’t they have died immediately from getting to earth because the microbes would have gotten into their machines over that 1000 years?

[@Xo-3130]

They actually destroyed all microbes on their world so long ago that they actually forgot about them.

[@AmberKrenn]

i honestly wished they'd made a subtle message about that now... okay not too subtle... actually never mind they'll say only martians should get vaccinated... (still like your idea)

[@canadianreserve]

@@Xo-3130 how would you kill the microbes, but not the complex organisms like themselves? microbes are the hardest lifeforms to kill due to their simplicity. makes no sense. also why would you want to? many are symbiotic and we couldn't have complex lifeforms without them.

[@jesusramirezromo2037]

@@canadianreserve I belive the book mentions that on Mars they had no infectious bacteria, so the aliens never knew what sickness and infectiom was, not that they cured all sickness

[@Salted_Fysh]

So yeah. I'd recommend you read the book. Many of the points you raise are addressed there already. 1) The Martians don't invade in a heavily prepared invasion plan. The invasion is a last desperate attempt at survival from a declining race on a dying planet. They build a giant cannon to shoot themselves over to 19th Century England. Prior recon is impossible because they don't own spaceships. 2) The tripods are manufactured on-site. They might very well be just hodge-podge cobbled together preliminary tanks. The tactic is quite simple: Cause preliminary destruction to sow confusion and panic, then move into a more orderly harvesting operation. The protagonist of the book even theorizes about the fact that for all intents and purposes, if the aliens had wanted to kill them all, they had ample opportunity and means to do so. 3) the Martians are so advanced that they don't even conceive of humans as truly intelligent. We are livestock. I believe he compares it to us as considering ants as intelligent. Animals can kill us but we would never even think of asking that question. (Theory by protagonist) 4) the Martians have advanced so far that they completely eliminated disease from their planet. So their immune-systems are non-existent. Not only do they have no way of knowing what kind of microbes await them on earth, depending on how long ago their civilization defeated disease, they might even have forgotten of it's existence in the first place. Basically it's the usual case of Hollywood just lazily copying the setting without ever asking what that actually entails. Because it's not important. You want to tell an action story. Who cares about anything else?

[@alberto51050]

still stupid, but with amnesia

[@Salted_Fysh]

@@alberto51050 how so? Elaborate. :)

[@alberto51050]

"So yeah. I'd recommend you read the book. Many of the points you raise are addressed there already. 1) The Martians don't invade in a heavily prepared invasion plan. The invasion is a last desperate attempt at survival from a declining race on a dying planet. They build a giant cannon to shoot themselves over to 19th Century England. Prior recon is impossible because they don't own spaceships. 2) The tripods are manufactured on-site. They might very well be just hodge-podge cobbled together preliminary tanks. The tactic is quite simple: Cause preliminary destruction to sow confusion and panic, then move into a more orderly harvesting operation. The protagonist of the book even theorizes about the fact that for all intents and purposes, if the aliens had wanted to kill them all, they had ample opportunity and means to do so. 3) the Martians are so advanced that they don't even conceive of humans as truly intelligent. We are livestock. I believe he compares it to us as considering ants as intelligent. Animals can kill us but we would never even think of asking that question. (Theory by protagonist) 4) the Martians have advanced so far that they completely eliminated disease from their planet. So their immune-systems are non-existent. Not only do they have no way of knowing what kind of microbes await them on earth, depending on how long ago their civilization defeated disease, they might even have forgotten of it's existence in the first place. Basically it's the usual case of Hollywood just lazily copying the setting without ever asking what that actually entails. Because it's not important. You want to tell an action story. Who cares about anything else?"

[@Salted_Fysh]

@@alberto51050 Yes, I am aware of the content of my own post. After all, I am the one who wrote it. That's not an elaboration, that's a copy paste. ;) What do you consider stupid. The invasion plan? The novel? The concepts? The ending? What alternative is there? How could they have acted differently? Where does amnesia come into play?

[@alberto51050]

1) so they just come to die 2)good plan let's give them the chance to study us e prepare the contra atack 3)a cow is inferior intelectual to us too but if one of them come running at you would you just stop and say "ohh this cow is too stupid to kill me pff" 4) that's totally stupid could you forget that humans may die from the atack of a sword because they are not used anymore?

[@capthavic]

Alien: "Strange creatures. They had limitless free clean water coming into their domiciles yet chose to purchase water in small plastic containers instead."

[@The_Bird_Bird_Harder]

Meanwhile in America. That is also not free.

[@The_Bird_Bird_Harder]

Or safe in some places.

[@abisspassenger]

Water from the tap is not free. You have to pay to have it coming to your house.

[@edwardteach3000]

@@abisspassenger Still a lot cheaper (and usually safer) then bottled water.

[@Jebu911]

@@abisspassenger Where i live tap water is part of the rent so it doesnt matter how many hundreds of liters i drink so its pretty much free.

[@SchazmenRassir]

They are Elder Scrolls protagonists, nomming on unknown herbs with no idea of what they do until they've almost died from them. "Oh, I get this, this stuff kills you!"

[@FunkyBaconArts]

Oh don't mind me, I'm just munching on a giant's toenail.

[@SchazmenRassir]

Oh yeah, turns out falmer ear soup is delicious.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Morrowind for life.

[@AngelCanseco1]

Pretty much how humanity figured out whats dangerous and whats good. “What’s this new plant? Hey Jim old buddy old pal i brought you a very special secret herb i want you to try”

[@casbot71]

Vulnerable to captured humans with explosives on their body, arrived in *2005.* They didn't do well in _Iraq or Afghanistan_ I assume.

[@stevengreen9536]

Probably not especially since they would not be expecting humans to launch suicide attacks against them.Most of the middle east probably had them going. WTF !? Did that guy just climb one of our tripods and blow himself up !? You can only imagine what nasty tortures awaited the poor dumb ass aliens who the terrorist factions caught outside the tripods.I bet the authorities had to scoop them up in hefty bags. :P

[@Deridus]

PBIED's... Gah, i had all but forgotten about those.

[@armaggedon4christ]

Right like they just rule the middle east off limits....say what you will about ISIS but when they alien bastards come....we shall all salute the work that those ballsy bastards do...

[@thatguys4341]

casbott Afghanistan, the graveyards of empires, even alien....

[@FULANODETAL]

@@thatguys4341 he said that to persians and macedonians and mongols who conquered...

[@vonfaustien3957]

The worst part of the movie is we never got to see the an ironclad unload a volly of cannon fire into some arogent martian ass and than ram another giant death bot dispite being nearly cleaved in half by a heat ray. RIP Thunderchild you might have been have been a 1800s war ship and out numbered 2 to 1 but you kicked more martian ass than the whole modren army did in the movie.

[@Schnittertm1]

Well, they could have moved the invasion to one of the sites were the Iowa-class battleships are anchored as museum ships and had them fire their guns, but that would have been too nice, wouldn't it.

[@vonfaustien3957]

Id also like to give a shout out the nameless artillery crew who realized one advantage a crude ballistic weapon subject to gravity has over line of site energy weapons. I mean whats smarter setting up behind a hill and raining hell on the martians landing site utterly safe from the heat rays or doing the movie method and charging up a hill right at the tripods with no cover from the heat rays? Sure they died horribly when the martians gassed them but they at least took down a a few Martians and showed basic competence when it came to tactics.

[@zatoth13]

made a kickass part of the Jeff wayne album though

[@alexandre007opa]

@@Schnittertm1 that's.... that's basically the movie Battleship

[@kevinramsey417]

The Martians released their black smoke, but the ship sped on, cutting down one of the Tripod figures. Instantly the others raised their heat rays and melted the Thunder Child's valiant heart. Lashing ropes and smashing timbers Flashing heat rays hit the deck Dashing hopes for our deliverance As we watched the sinking wreck With the smoke of battle clearing Over graves in waves defiled Slowly disappearing Farewell Thunder Child.

[@Hyreia]

I always give War of the World's conflict resolution a pass. But only because the aliens being defeated by the microbes while humanity couldn't do anything is in tradition with old story itself. Of course, the original story that's over one hundred years old is less stupid because they *WERE* from Mars so Earth was an easy target and they didn't bury their ships in the ground for thousands of years before invading either. They launched them to Earth in giant canons a la Jules Verne.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Given that HG Wells intended the story as a middle finger to british imperialism, Martians being killed by exotic (to them) illness Is actually smart.

[@Libluini]

Also H. G. Wells was still living close enough to disasters like the Leclerc-expedition, where military forces where send into disease-ridden regions in total ignorance about stuff like Yellow Fever. Cue Leclerc himself dying, together with most of his expedition. So for Wells, a military force from Mars blundering into Earth and then getting killed by disease was probably really plausible. I mean it happened to Human forces on Earth itself multiple times!

[@weldonwin]

I think the whole thing with the Martians dying to bacteria was kind of Welles' way of having a miracle in his book and having God save us, without breaking his trappings of science

[@stevengreen9536]

I still think it is silly an invading civilization NOT to do a bio scan or send a scientific expedition FIRST to check for any bacteria or viruses that might be dangerous or deadly to THEM. :P

[@weldonwin]

@@stevengreen9536 In the original book, its stated that Mars is dying and no longer able to support the martian civilization, so they invade the Earth out of desperation and its also implied that despite their advanced technology, the martians have not actually fought a war in a very, very long time. So, we have our invading aliens, who really don't know what they are doing, because no one in their entire civilization has done it in literally thousands of years at least and they don't have the time or resources to learn this whole war thing all over again.

[@f.b.i.8071]

"So here we are, the original alien sin of stupidty...." *Sees cat jumps toward mirror* I'm laughing and I can't stop

[@veralenora4033]

Retired school librarian here, I used to play a cassette recording of the radio "War of the Worlds" on April 1st to classes in the elementary school library, and once to a 6th grade class in which I was the English teacher. Told the kids I'd decided they could just relax, but I was going to tune into a radio station playing old-timey music as a special which I really wanted to hear. I must be a pretty good amateur actor because I always managed to make a few kids wonder if it was real: "Hey, she's crying", hand over my face and crying sounds. Then 40 minutes later: "April Fools!". Kids would comment the next day how scary water towers looked. Always comment they were going to beat me up for scaring them. One time convinced the principle to come in and announce school buses were on the way to evacuate them home, and the buses would then be used to evacuate the city. Oh, one principal told me never to do it again; she didn't want kids scared. Party pooper!

[@HolyMith]

"Hey my not-martian brothers! Remember how evolution works? Me neither! Let's go gulp down some basement water!"

[@SoraYoshi182]

7:54 Having video evidence of a kitten dealing with a mirror better than an "intelligent" alien makes it even more hilarious.

[@thoranzalarvhazen4250]

If one of these aliens had a baby with the alien from Signs the baby would be stupid enough to come to earth to steal our water and then accidentally die by drinking our water.

[@royblekman8186]

I read H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. Its far better than the movie, just surprised they didnt stick closer to the book.

[@90lancaster]

I read a great short story once about the Martian invasion in Mexico / New Mexico (I forget which) and how they defeat a tripod walker with a huge cannon full of junk.

[@thehumanoddity]

I want to see Victorian era artillery take down Martian tripods.

[@Phoenix2312]

@Roy Blekman I hear you dude... I have the Book, and Both Stage Versions on DVD of Jeff Wayne's Musical... WAY BETTER!!! The Film was a load of old Tosh!!!

[@rootlessmisanthrope2611]

The BBC are making a new TV version set in the time and place of the original novel. They haven't scheduled it yet but it should be broadcast this year.

[@patrickkenyon2326]

@@thehumanoddity I want to see the USS Thunder Child.

[@IvanKravarscan]

Finally correct usage of word "decimate"

[@MediaZealot]

I'm stoked someone noticed, I saw my chance and I took it.

[@Gruntman1234]

Martians: **Invade Earth** Coronavirus: "So you have chosen death."

[@DerAykac]

So it was invented by the Chinese, but not to kill American! It´s rumoured on some forums that it only affects reptilian humanoids. Guess i´ll give flat earth a try...

[@Seangalanti]

Shit I'm stupid

[@BigJway21]

@@Seangalanti 🤣 why he or she gotta be stupid

[@DerAykac]

@@BigJway21 It maybe thinks im serious

[@Seangalanti]

@Jay Dabbelju you're still cringey though for using r wooosh

[@maddslothii2532]

their weapons are kind of strange if they came for our bio matter, their primary weapon vaporizes humans.

[@ashburystreet]

maddsloth II I read someone who worked on the movie said something like "oh the beams actually teleport them or break them down into organic molecules and teleport those or something" but yeah it's still dumb

[@biliminsrlar5752]

In the book after Martians destroy society they capture humans without cooking them with lasers because Martians feed with blood,they especially drink blood of captured humans because in Mars they had a weak creature similiar to human with a weaker body to eat.

[@victordavila9812]

They are like martian vampires xD

[@bificommander]

It's kind of a double whammy of stupidity. If these are heat rays that vaporize you, why use it on harmless fleeing resource lumps? If they are teleporting beams, why bother with the sphincter and baskets to absorb captives the very slow and vulnerable way?

[@Jebu911]

I mean people have attacked other lands to take slaves with weapons that hear this out... *kill the slaves* . So nitpicking that as a stupid factor just makes you sound pretty dumb. Those weapons are there to crush the resistance obviously.

[@NextToToddliness]

"It's a deadbeat dad redemption story" - should be the only thing on the back of the DVD.

[@olenickel6013]

This reminds me of something I read a while back about a man wanting to defend his family and god telling him "cool, this mainly means doing boring chores like laundry and cooking every day." What do you mean, laundry, I thought more along the lines of having guns and shooting them at dangerous people.

[@cipher88101]

Let's give credit to his crappy kids as well, it's only fair. Half way through the story and I wanted him to leave them behind.

[@Dloin]

You people are all wrong. They had to wait this long. Their Martian windows had to update.

[@AdmiralOctopus]

"Aw man, we're finally here on Earth! I can't wait to start harvesting the local population!" *WINDOWS 10 UPDATE IS READY*

[@deustitties3589]

"Yo, motherbase, where's our update? We need firmware update for this tech to invade Earth" "The current update is 20 GB in size" "Fuck this, the connection on Earth is awful, we're going in old school, there's no way humans can defeat us!" "I'd wait for the update if I were you"

[@sonicrush44]

God damn Windows 98. One of the biggest sins created by man.

[@Schnittertm1]

@@sonicrush44 That's a funny way to spell Windows ME.

[@ValThracian]

And after that they had to fix the programs that the update broke

[@Vermbraunt]

Another stupid thing is by sending their tech down and waiting thousands of years there was a chance that we would dig up their tech and reverse engineer it. Which luckily for them never happened but if it did they would have arrived and humans military tech would be equivalent if not more advanced.

[@nobleman9393]

People who have built a sewage system should find them

[@InVinoVeratas]

^which makes you wonder how freakin deep did they bury those camera tripods? You’d think the deeper they are, the bigger the holes would be once they emerge, and the fact that there are skyscrapers, would make some of them impossible to rise with all the extra literal tons of weight holding them underground.

[@royblekman8186]

One of there pieces of tech was right under the main street of a town.. There is no way we wouldnt have found atleast a few of these in the 21st century.

[@Vermbraunt]

@@royblekman8186 Given the amount of digging we do you think an archaeologist or a strip mine etc would have found at lest one

[@jltaco85]

yeah the chances of that happening is zero, do you not see the idiot running the world most powerful country? djt

[@geordischmidt]

I also find it amazing that, with all the digging we humans have done with oil drilling, ore mining, fracking and underground parking garages, that nobody stumbled on to one of these buried Martian ships. In fact, the Martians might have been done in, not by germs, but by the toxic stew of chemicals and pollutants we've slathered into the ground over the last century.

[@MrDalisclock]

The whole "Martians die from bacteria" thing makes more sense when you realize Wells wrote the book as one big Take That! to European Colonialism and Imperialism. Europeans invade more primitive, to them, foreign lands, make a mess and die from shitty diseases they have little resistance to. Ditto with the Martians and earth. Wells even directly compares the two in the opening chapter

[@JoetheDilo1917]

Martians: **exist** Microbial bacteria and viruses: *I'm about to destroy this man's whole career*

[@yep_2431]

Drinking from our broken basement pipes had me rolling

[@hansstrudel9614]

3:55 the fact that they lasted that long in New Jersey without dying is impressive.

[@frogasaur3848]

everybody gangsta till the tripods start walking

[@t3chkn1ght]

everybody gangsta til the tripods get airpods

[@ShortBarrelRaifu]

every tripods gangsta till the bacteria says hi

[@Toon_Lucario]

Everybody gangsta till *BWAAARAWAAAWA*

[@barrag3463]

Did you know part of the original idea behind H.G. Wells' story (on which this movie is based on) came from a discussion he had with someone over European colonization? The idea of the Martians invading originally was an analogy to help someone with a Victorian understanding of colonization understand it from the point of view of the colonized. This one of the reasons why in the book the invasion is only really stemmed by disease; it's part of the analogy. The only major threat to the might of colonizers irl were the native diseases that they were not adapted to (again, Victorian POV talking here; "no way savage natives could fight off us bringers of civilization").

[@nicklockk]

Yea, we know.

[@farmerboy916]

I mean it was correct that colonized people wouldn't be able to resist at the time of writing, by the nature of the terms themselves, let alone the realities of history that created the situation. Don't write that off as racism, because it was real

[@Salted_Fysh]

@@farmerboy916 actually it wasn't. The reason European invasions went so well was because by the time they actually started invading they had already wiped out a majority of the indigenous population via disease. Y'see, Europe with it's tight city culture was a breeding pool for any kind of disease imaginable whereas in the Americas for example the various civilizations did not literally live in their own shit. So when the Europeans colonists came, they encountered an indigenous population with almost zero resistances to the aggressive bacteria and viruses we brought with us. -> Mass genocide. Ironically H.G. Wells decided to reverse that. His Martians have advanced so far as a society that they had completely eliminated disease. So the human cesspit hit them entirely unexpected. The very idea of disease was at that point so foreign to them that they couldn't conceive of it. Also the invasion was a move of desperation in the first place. Mars was dying and they had to settle with the next best alternative.

[@farmerboy916]

Hammas Haukka Genocide by definition requires both intent and knowledge of what you're doing, which the initial people who accidentally wiped out 90% of the new world's population did not have; actual disease warfare and genocide attempts came later. But even then it doesn't affect my point, people who just lost 90% of their population are even more unable to resist colonization which works in favor of what I said. They were still fucked even without that though. Your argument also does not work for the colonized peoples of the old world, africa and other places where disease was against the colonizers especially. By the very nature of the term colonized the people who it is applied to are at a disadvantage and _able_ to be colonized; you didn't refute my point at all.

[@farmerboy916]

Hammas Haukka Even more given that rereading exactly what I said I stated _at the time of writing_, referring to the war of the worlds. Late 1800's colonial powers were simply not able to be resisted by native populations except by good circumstance and luck tbh, and even then was iffy.

[@ThadCastled117]

Well, these tripods sure did scare the shit out of me when I was a kid. (1994 born)

[@TheGodEmperor41k]

Bra, for me, it was not the tripods themselves but that horn noise. That eerie horn noise.

[@Luna_Spiritus]

The shit-ton of veins everywhere was my nightmare fuel for years

[@johannbezuidenhout2976]

"Narrator Morgan god man" should be Mr. Freeman's screen name from now on lol.

[@wasteoftime5848]

What I like about the original story is that the martians weren't all that advanced. One of the tripods was damaged by a bomber. It was the first movie version that kind of followed the invincible, slow moving, kaiju disaster porn formula.

[@aridicaexmontaudon1296]

Artillery takes out one, thunderchild takes out 3, who knows how many were taken out that the narrator never saw?

[@Kardia_of_Rhodes]

*When your entire planetary invasion force is made up of anti-vaxxers*

[@ColonelFrontline1152]

Basically every single version of martians in every single adaptation of *War Of The Worlds* (1895, 1953, 1978 and 2005 Versions). Even it's animation sequel: *War Of The Worlds: Goliath.* The Martian still lose to humanity.

[@AlexSDU]

How about the 80's TV series?

[@ColonelFrontline1152]

@@AlexSDU I didn't know that existed.

[@01What10]

@@ColonelFrontline1152 I just picked that up at Wal-mart not long ago. Great series. Its pretty much a sequel to the 50s movie.

[@AlexSDU]

@@ColonelFrontline1152 it's a sequel to the 1953 version, but in TV series. Apparently, not all Martians died. They were stored in barrel labeled as toxic wastes in a military facility. For some reason that I've forgotten, they awaken and start making plans to invade Earth again. Only in the 1st episode we got to see the 1953's Martian spaceship.

[@AlexSDU]

@@ColonelFrontline1152 here you go: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bnjai5igp9Vkmbs

[@AGrayPhantom]

10:53 Given the ridiculous state of 2020, it's entirely plausible that a civilization can forget that germs exist.

[@MyBanannas]

Given that their tripods were buried underground, they can't upgrade them to deal with a civilization capable of fighting back. This leads me to believe that they panicked and began the invasion without having the chance to find a solution to the deadly microbes.

[@AndrooUK]

Like, spacesuits? 😅

[@MyBanannas]

@@AndrooUK I guess I didn't think that one through. There could be reasons why they couldn't bring spacesuits, but given the lack of information about the aliens, any guesses on the reason why would be baseless.

[@diamondmetal3062]

“They’ve become ignorant of the existence of microbes”!!?? God, old science fiction was crazy.

[@casbahowl8128]

The Chances of anything coming from [Not] Mars, are a million to one he said

[@zatoth13]

I just heard that sung by Justin Hayward in my head

[@VatroCal]

The foghorn could be more of a scare tactic, you hear that and you know that it's from the Tri-pods a good few people are gonna freak out and take off running, making it easier to spot.

[@interstellarbruce6429]

What the heck are they doing drinking random stagnated water from a cracked pipe. On an alien planet!? That could've been grey water. They might have litterally been drinking some one liquid shit!

[@nicklockk]

Maybe they don't care

[@Slysheen]

Apparently these martians were the crew from the martian version of "Alien Covenant"

[@biliminsrlar5752]

In the book they don't drink water or eat anything,they drink blood of other creatures and change their own used blood.They get sick because they drink blood of every human they didn't roast so they get diseases from humans they drinked blood from.

[@EcclesiastesLiker-py5ts]

The foghorns could also just be an attempt at intimidation.

[@ehrgeiz0]

Regarding the Martian weaponry, the book had the tripods armed with heat rays and the deadly black gas. The 1953 movie had them use heat rays as their primary weapon and two side cannons that fired anti-meson beams as secondary weapons. The official 2005 movie (not that cheap direct-to-video knockoff that came out at the same time) seems to use an electromagnetic weapon judging by its effects on living tissue and metal.

[@JynxedKoma]

"They're drinking straight from our broken basement pipes." *W T F*

[@Freefall347]

They actually had a WotW TV series in the 80's, and I think there it is stated that the aliens had actually invaded many planets in the past, and they had always been immune to the local microbes, so their vulnerability to germs on earth came as a complete surprise to them, and was something the survivors of the invasion still struggled to understand. But yeah, that still doesn't have anything to do with the Tom Cruise movie.

[@jesusramirezromo2037]

This could imply panspermia between earth and mars The reason that other lifeforms on other planets didn't affect them is that they where not related While earthlife shared a common amcestor with Martian life, so they could get sick with our bacteria

[@plutochan9931]

Never understand the reason the army in the film are engaging the tripods so closely. Especially when you consider the range of missiles and artillery

[@stormisuedonym4599]

Because (especially at the time) no-one in Hollywood had even the faintest, foggiest, _slightest_ notion of how modern combat works.

[@MrDalisclock]

Looks cool is more important then then makes sense in 90% of films

[@tannerdenny5430]

I agree with your general thesis: cats are silly.

[@badnewswade]

Martians: The original anti-vaxxers. The book's definitely worth it btw.

[@biliminsrlar5752]

In the book they are reverse of antivaxxers,they vaccinate so much they literally destroy all diseases on their planet and eventually forget their existince.

[@robertcypress6604]

I brought up that "panic" to my ex girlfriend in passing once. Her grandma heard me and told us about hearing that as a kid. Apparently her father noped out on the family and hid in the broom closet.

[@CodeeXD]

Damn I guess that's one way to find out your dad's a pussy

[@RedwoodTheElf]

My theory on all versions of this story (even the original) was that the "invaders" were actually captured ENEMIES of the tripod builders, imprisoned in the machines, which were pre-programmed to go on a rampage, and to deactivate once the prisoners died, in order to prejudice humanity against that particular alien race, so that when humans finally advanced to interstellar travel capabilities, the tripod builders would have ready-made allies they could use as cannon fodder in their war.

[@kirbymarchbarcena]

@8:24 "...discerning garage sale enthusiasts". Just imagine if they found out about Black Friday sale.

[@TheKing-qz9wd]

Money says the Bronze age could figure out how to fell a tripod. Remember the axe scene? Times one thousand and call me in the mourning.

[@jamesperkins191]

Fight like Ewoks!

[@TheKing-qz9wd]

@@jamesperkins191 Basically.

[@australiansebmeow]

Another great video Media Zealot keep up the good work.

[@mollof7893]

Oh yeah yeah

[@australiansebmeow]

@@mollof7893 Oh yeah yeah mate

[@michaelcove473]

@@australiansebmeow oh yeah mate

[@hildemel]

Also if they wanted biomass why did they spend so much time incinerating people.

[@cipher88101]

They thought it was set for stun, but it was set for popcorn instead.

[@Ksavputin]

2:28 Humans: You are saying you wanted to invade Earth for millennia...? Nonsense. If that were true, why only appear now? *Tekken 7 OST: Abandoned Temple - Final Round plays* Martians: I was merely waiting for you to become stronger. Right here, right now I will fulfill my wish. *FIGHT*

[@davidwuhrer6704]

Tekken 5, Paul ending.

[@Toon_Lucario]

*coughs* K.O.!!

[@soul4pasta]

I’ve been waiting so long for another video! I love this series!

[@thewitheringproduction1761]

so ligma saves humanity... how ironic

[@paradoxical_human5246]

Also, not to mention that this technology for the aliens would be very, very old. That would be like teaching a ship crew now to sail a Spanish galleon.

[@aaronbaron3155]

Dude I was dying this whole video. Especially the cat hitting the mirror😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@robintaberner]

Yeah, you really ought to read the book, more than once. The War of The Worlds by H.G. Wells is so much more than a story of aliens invade earth, start eating the locals and die of a cold. When you work out that. You will know what is really stupid about the film, and it ain’t the Martians.

[@mikhaelgribkov4117]

After COVID-19, alien failing to microbes is genius and always was.

[@chrisdooley6468]

I’ve never been able to watch this all the way through. Dakota Fanning screaming in just about every scene she’s in drove me batshit

[@Spartan135]

all this screaming made me hope the aliens would silent her,because she acted like a walking alien alert system with an annoying screeching sound. 🤣

[@BD-yl5mh]

I always wanted to see a follow up political drama back on the alien homeworld where there’s a court case brought against the company that installed the air filters in the tripods

[@jhmcd2]

You should have played that scene from Scary Movie (I forget which one exactly) where they parody this movie and the Bacteria are having a rave.

[@kompuglobalhypermega]

Year later, but I have the answer. It's the fourth one.

[@michaeljameskeating1348]

Lol, the aliens were like unsupervised toddlers blundering around the basement.

[@SoulGale1]

I hope someday you will feature the aliens from "Falling Skies". They firts invasion attemp was somehow defeated by the Inca impire.

[@MsGhoulz]

Wait, wait a minute. They've been preparing for ages, and haven't tested the microbes on the surface to create antibodies?

[@acmenipponair]

Hey, it's nice that you also acknowledged the Malaysian animelike movie about the martians. I must say, that movie had much more intelligent screenwriting in it than the real movie :D

[@theleap2946]

I remember reading once that the alien invasion depicted in this movie was a knock against the US’ first forays Into the War on Terror. Guns blazing, superiority complex, underestimated the enemy capabilities, and of course we got our butts kicked and then adopt Shock and Awe. Haha. Go ‘Murcia!

[@adrikklassen]

Aliens dumpster diving. That killed me.

[@mezarisage6055]

Where's the animated footage at 3:08 to 3:20 from? that looks kinda awesome. Edit: apparently its War Of The Worlds: Goliath, for anyone else who was wondering.

[@fitzwaren]

Mezari Sage thanks, I was going to ask

[@TrinalHydra]

It was pretty stupid

[@antred11]

3:40 not really. A civilization advanced enough to travel the stars would certainly have the means to farm as much biomass as they want.

[@snatchadams69]

The Not Martains were an early proto Zerg waiting for that sweet delicious creep to rut itself into oblivion...

[@jamesperkins191]

Martians are Xel Naga

[@LudosErgoSum]

0:40 If that's for real, it's some goddamn great practical effects!

[@harrisonleslie573]

Love these videos so much! Keep them coming!

[@WoWKackorot]

and these ones will actually extract your precious fluids lmao

[@Deridus]

Natural vital fluids, eh?

[@adamcarroll9613]

Please do not let Jack lead the counter attack. We still have enough B-52s for him to really make a shitshow out of it.

[@robdead4550]

Totally fucking golden, I sprayed my screen with biscuit sputum at one point.

[@Spuggky45]

What I'm still trying to figure out from the Spielberg version is this: if those tripods were buried under us all these eons, how did we never once stumble across one? Humans do strip mining, we dig random deep holes, we blast the earth with sonar and other sensors to see what's under our feet, but we never once found a single tripod? BS!

[@rocketrooster2410]

Can you do one on the klingons? If you like.

[@mattfoulgerBC]

RocketRooster great suggestion!

[@wiseguy01]

@@mattfoulgerBC The Klingons are actually a functioning society for the most part... still have some glaring flaws.

[@VioletShinobi]

Klingons have a more intelligent society than half of the real life world.

[@wasserruebenvergilbungsvirus]

Do one on the Borg, they are really stupid.

[@wiseguy01]

@@wasserruebenvergilbungsvirus he covered them already

[@williamwinstrop3918]

Why would a civilization attempting to acquire BIOmass not do some sort of BIOlogical investigation?

[@RADARTechie]

or simply GROW biomass.

[@5daboz]

Martian: (finds our garbage dump) Let us make a kindergarden, there are a lot of toys to play with here!

[@notanfningain]

I like the alien spinning the bicycle wheel in the basement: The aliens had gone down a different branch of evolution and not invented the wheel, they had also long rid themselves of all disease.

[@MrChupacabra555]

At about 3:50 : That's one of the things I've always said about potential 'Alien Invasions'. They wouldn't come all this way to harvest 'resources' that they could have easily gotten on the way here (water, mineral resources, etc.). But what if life (biomass) is incredibly rare, and the aliens need all the 'stuff' life produces (we've made many things out of the various plants and animals on our own planet). Still, for all the reasons you mentioned, these not-martians are stupid.

[@nicklockk]

If (theoretically) you, dear comment-reader, wanted to make an actual adaption of the novel set in victorian england, how would you fix that stupid microbe-ending? The League of the extraordinary Gentlemen Comic Book reworked that part as being a bio-weapon made by the empire. Is that a better solution?

[@nicklockk]

Or would a modern twist be to do no twist? Just let it end with humanity’s demise, nobody would see that comming in a blockbuster movie

[@jakerockznoodles]

I don't think the ending was stupid. It probably is by modern standards where we like to nitpick everything, but reading the book I didn't at all think "this is dumb!"

[@Salted_Fysh]

The book ending is entirely plausible and not stupid at all. The book Invasion is a move of desperation. Mars is dying and unable to sustain their lives so they decide to build a big cannon and invade/terraform Earth. It's not a carefully planned attack at all and since they don't have access to spaceflight, the only conclusions they could have gleamed were from visual observation only. Which doesn't really allow to check for diseases. + They invade 19th century England, not 21st century Earth. The reason they die off from Disease in the book is because their society had advanced so far, that they had completely eliminated disease from their world. So their immune systems were basically non-existent. Their minds and mental capacity are theorized in the book as being entirely alien to us humans, so perhaps they could not even conceive of disease because to them, it did not exist anymore. The issues that make this ending stupid come with the Blockbuster retelling of Hollywood. Here it truly makes no sense why they wouldn't know. TLDR; I'd leave the ending in. It's the only sensible explanation as to why a highly advanced species would fail at the invasion of Earth. Because let's face it. Despite all the power fantasies we like to put out there, we would never stand a chance in the first place. And book War of the Worlds perfectly captures that sentiment. *Edit* I'd tell it like it is in the book. A survival story mixed with a bit of scientific curiosity. And one that leaves many questions open.

[@90lancaster]

I think the point of the microbes winning is to point out human hubris and that their ego is bad and that there is always a bigger bully - heck one could even say the microbes are an allegory for communism. But the whole point is they fight - they loose and they ultimately only get the drop on the "martians" as they sicken and die. I like the Album versions 6 legged harvesters they are neat too. Speaking of Tripods though that was a pretty neat BBC TV show of the early 1980's - though the second season is a trifle strange - if you watch it you can't help but wonder if things like The Hunger Games were influenced by it - only without the Aliens. Some of it is on KZbin : kzbin.info/www/bejne/p53PkmtjlrGAjpY

[@Toon_Lucario]

It’s just the Black Plague both sides start to die they chill out and wait

[@muninrob]

Re: Leaving the hardware and waiting for a long time before actually invading. If I was the writer, I'd have used getting rare earth metals as an additional reason for the invasion - and the delay was the martians waiting for US to mine up the rare earths for our electronics, and then concentrate them in our landfills (more energy efficient to mine electronics from the dump & recycle than it is to mine & smelt the ore)

[@migukmoonpark4312]

Aliens: *Invades Earth for biomatter.* Also Aliens: Dusted half of the people they encounter like an angsty Thanos, rendering them into useless, inedible ash.

[@sebastianszeliga935]

WE NEED MOAR VIDEOS

[@casualcraftman1599]

suggestions for future videos The Federation from Blake's 7- Really cartoonisly evil space Nazis The Time Lords from Doctor Who- attempts to portray them as a boring Advanced Sci-fi Civilisation failed so miserably that they come across as uptight idiots that shouldn't been capable of time travel and other technology advancements

[@Deridus]

You leave the Federation out of this! The last thing we need is a swarm of 80's BDSM-clad Space Fascists running around on our screens! ... Actually, that ain't half bad, now I think about it.

[@Quast]

Omg, the series continues... how many space civilisations were there, I thought we already had them all by now! xD Keep up the good work, this is one of the most glorious "list" formats on here. I always have a blast. :')

[@Charlie94781]

A vast collection of mannequins laced with montezuma’s revenge could lure the aliens into scooping them into their ships by looking like a tasty meal then humans could simply kick back and watch the invaders crap out their internal organs

[@CommanderViviax]

That would be hysterical! Dying from the lethal runs. Lol.

[@jerryplaysgames7607]

on the subject of the "martians" not invading sooner. theres a theory that they we're waiting for the population of earth to get big enough, so that when they did invade they could do what ever the hell they were doing with the people they snatched. not a fantastic plan obviously but not dumb either (edit: i wrote and posted this comment after pausing at the roman empire joke, so i didn't see him agree with me or the valid point about the animals) and the whole earth virus's killing and weakening them isn't entirely implausible either, after all they could have not known, or thought they were protected enough, or wouldn't be effected (as they probably had no way of testing this back at their home), granted this doesn't necessarily mean they were smart, and the twist is still kinda stupid, but not impossible

[@ThatGuy-a48]

He literally says that as a possible reason in the video

[@Riprie]

Yeah, but why do they so carelessly waste it with their heat beams?

[@ThatGuy-a48]

@@Riprie blood types? Meh

[@jerryplaysgames7607]

@@ThatGuy-a48 there is that theory out there that they are looking for certain blood types, and getting rid of the rest. sothat's highly probable. i might also explain why they didn't use animals, because i'm not sure that animals and humans have the same "blood types"

[@Salted_Fysh]

There is a theory out there that all of this is properly explained in the book and Hollywood was just lazy in adapting the source material.

[@spaceman6463]

None of them have genetic engineering or cybernetic or power armor and a human can fight them it’s stupid

[@onyxbasilisk9046]

Let’s not forget the previous civilizations that have those features and still lost to a less technologically advanced species that knew what was needed to succeed. The determining factor is if your civilization has all the important knowledge of the universe to success.

[@spaceman6463]

John Jones Alien in movie are stupid And they don’t have robots or ai

[@onyxbasilisk9046]

@@spaceman6463 I was not referring to this video but the previous ones, remember the BLAAs? Their aliens with genetic engineering who failed at it.

[@spaceman6463]

John Jones I was referring to alien movie in general yeah that stupid that they lost if they where genetic engineering they could lift tens of tons have bulletproof skin to small arms fire and a bunch of other stuff

[@MelkorPT]

I love War of the Worlds, it's one of my favourite books. But it's a book that was written at the end of the 19th century before we had even figured out antibiotics (the ending) or wireless communication (the foghorns). Even the 50s adaptation is completely dated, nowadays a two man team could easily take down a tripod. Put one guy in the middle of the road as bait and then when the tripod moves in to catch him and the team is inside the shield perimeter another guy fires an RPG at it from a concealed position. Any invasion would begin with the aliens crashing a handful of asteroids on the largest population centers, it would be all over before we even noticed we were under attack.

[@MrDalisclock]

Nuke the planet from orbit. Only way to be sure.

[@ericspencer8093]

Naw, surely an advanced race could just drop clouds of nanites to infect, kill, and consume humans within a few minutes, leaving a pristine, fully intact planet to colonize and exploit without any fuss.

[@csx3180]

I'll never see this movie the same, is a phrase I find myself saying everytime I watch one of these videos.

[@thorshammer7883]

What do you think about the Forerunners and Covenant from Halo, the Imperium from Dune and Warhammer 40k, and the Terrens from Starcraft?

[@Deridus]

The Imperium... Which one, the Corrino or Atredes?

[@thorshammer7883]

@@Deridus From the Dune books and Warhammer 40k.

[@Deridus]

@@thorshammer7883 yeah, I know. Which one from Dune, Leto's or the Padishah Emperor's? The Imperium of Man, Blessed be the Emperor, goes without saying.

[@thorshammer7883]

@@Deridus The Worm Emperor.

[@Burt1038]

@Zerebrat Eightyseven It always bugged me that the UED had more or less the exact same military hardware as the Koprulu Terrans, despite having hundreds of years' head start (due to the colonists having to build an entire civilization practically from scratch with only a few thousand individuals). I chalk it up to lazy storytelling from Blizzard...even the UED's storyline is pretty much erased by the Zerg campaign so you could completely nix the Terran campaign from Brood War and it would change absolutely nothing.

[@aztecdragon4313]

Can you do the predator civilization

[@davidwuhrer6704]

We know nothing about the predator civilisation, except that they have really inept week-end hunters.

[@jesusramirezromo2037]

@@davidwuhrer6704 We know some stuff They seem to have 2 sub species; the normal ones, and the "super" ones, that are at war with one another (Maybe its like HomlSapien v Neanthertal) Their culture is based on a code of honnor that is treated as law Their leaders are the most expirianced hunters They have cities that encompass a whole planet They are not interested in whiping out other civilizations completley They seem to have nature reserves/hunting resorts They can be reasoned with, and alaiances can be formed if they respect an individual/species They seem to be very religious

[@jdchav9383]

Given the diet practices, diseases, general sicknesses that we have all had and adapted to as humans, and environmental factors that we’ve also adapted to; the fact that they would openly drink from a water pipe without knowing what was in that water is wild. I mean WE don’t even do that as humans. I remember drinking out of that water hose as a kid but even then you let it run for a bit before hand lol. They placed a lot of faith on their technology, and paid little worry to anything that wasn’t a military style threat. 💀

[@ALEXANDERATTACK]

I freakin love all the Tuvok cameos in your videos dude.