After Four Nights Of Nonsense At The RNC, We're Getting Off This Emotional Roller Coaster

[@DrStratComm]

I love that there's muffled laughter from behind the cameras at just the right moments. 😂

[@DavidJ222]

This RNC has been one big gaslighting extravaganza. It was a seminar on Russian style propaganda that would have made Stalin proud.

[@Fandangtastic]

I'm sure Putin was happy too.

[@TheMulToyVerse]

After night 2 of the RNC, I made the mistake of replying to a comment saying how positive and uplifting the RNC had been up until that point compared to the nasty hate-mongering of the DNC... 🙄🙄

[@larazanz]

Rampage7 what did you say?

[@xmilkshakesx]

But what is Megan Thee Stallion?! I love her! ❤️ 🐎 🎶

[@xmilkshakesx]

Rampage7 Your username upsets Lizzie. 🦖 🦎 🌩

[@heartofdawn2341]

Calling riots on the streets in Spain "Biden's America" fails on so many levels: * It's the wrong country * rioting is happening right now, in Trump's America * If Biden **was** to blame for this crisis (he's not), it simply tells us that Trump is so weak that even as president, he's letting someone else call the shots.

[@bradleywylie3823]

trolling with some fact free youtube channel is pretty lame

[@chloekey8043]

Bradley Wylie trump is trolling America. Not only is the rioting on his watch-he’s in charge, what goes on is his problem- his crew makes it all look worse by showing scenes from Spain! Not only is he unfit to serve, he has to be dishonest and lie while he’s telling lies!🙄

[@emilylittle1187]

"This is a glimpse into Biden's America" Sweetheart... It's happening in Trump's America. Right now.

[@SeanModernAthlete]

For a guy who likes to refer to his opponents as "sleepy" and "low-energy," Trump's speeches are all too often sleep-inducing. Not that I want to listen to his nonsensical rambling, anyway. Can't wait until he is voted out of office. Four years of him has been four years too many.

[@livelaughloathe]

He always sounds sluggish

[@tsicy6731]

Another one who slipped in via the electoral college

[@karlosiouk]

Dementia Joe ftw. USA will be rekt like the dems cities currently are. Good luck lolz, Putin, Xi and Kim will have Biden for breakfast hahaha

[@SeanModernAthlete]

@dmo572 Look, if that thought appeals to you, go right ahead and believe it, but my gut feeling is that more people disagree with you than agree. Personally, I think the Electoral College system in its current guise is the main reason Trump got elected, and I have my doubts he will be able to pull it off a second time. But really now, you think Don Jr is presidential material? Dude, you're really not setting the bar very high...

[@SeanModernAthlete]

@LAWRENCE Only problem is that the "TRUMP TRAIN" is hurtling out of control down a steep mountainside, with no brakes, and the train driver is more concerned about his hair, tan and golf score than the safety of his passengers...

[@censusgary]

“I profoundly accept ...” Most nominees say “I humbly accept,” but of course, “humbly” has never been part of Trump’s vocabulary.

[@VishwaJay]

I think he meant "proudly". That's what some of the news outlets reported, anyway. Not the actual word he used. But yes: nothing about Trump has ever been humble. He'd have to openly admit that he got it wrong. "It" being "anything of the last 40 years involving anything other than real estate deals." And even those, he's only batted about 80%.

[@meafordmichael]

Vishwa Jay Traitor Trump, amongst his many other “virtues”, is illiterate; what do you expect?

[@sarahcampbell8819]

@@meafordmichael "THE DUMP" is a LUNATIC. I would rather have Mr. T "I pity the the fool" from the "A-Team" at this point as the POTUS !!!!😫 NONE of the moron's in the crowd even had DAMN FACE MASKS ON !!!! "THE DUMP" HAS TO GO, he's done NOTHING but destroy the country. Left 1000's and 1000's to LOSE EVERYTHING THAT they once had, homes, jobs and freaking lives. How can people be stupid enough to not see any of these things this ORANGE CREATURE has done and still support him ???? Really wondering how much money his firework displays cost US ?? Hope that you are well. ✌😷

[@waynesmith4120]

YOOOO. SA. MIGHT. (Yosemite)

[@censusgary]

I just realized his script probably said “proudly accept,” but, as usual, Trump couldn’t read the teleprompter correctly, and, as he so often does, guessed the word, and got it wrong.

[@writewoodcreations7091]

I hope everyone got the Dorian Grey reference because that was gold. (Congratulations on five years, Stephen. You are saving sanity every night with your shows.)

[@mori1bund]

The "just following orders" reference was kinda dark... ^^

[@andyrosenthal544]

For real! I was an English/Philosophy major in college and I was screaming at that line!

[@martinlouis911]

Explain it for those who didn't....like me lol

[@seanryan3020]

@@mori1bund But en pointe!

[@martinlouis911]

@@nonyabidness8676 oh ok lol thank you

[@Ammy-q4w]

"Americans are exhausted" That's the only true thing Trump has ever said

[@gmbligh-shuck8989]

Maybe you'll be lucky if he gains the Presidency again..he can throw rolls of paper towel at everyone in celebration. Please note I am kidding.

[@adaangel8585]

Yes they are exhausted. They are exhausted from the media lies. They are exhausted from the fake racism. They are exhausted from the Democrats supported riots they are exhausted from the Democrat Mayors the Democratic Governors they are exhausted. They are exhausted from over three years of trying to tear down a democratically elected president. They are exhausted from a bunch of baby still acting like a bunch of babies even after all this time and absolutely sterile proof that the president has done anything wrong but there's lots of proof that the Democrats have done things wrong but you never hear that because it's against the mainstream media version. Oh yes Americans are exhausted they're exhausted from these young idiots who went to University and instead of coming out with an education came out brainwashed into violent brainwashed leftist socialist.

[@jacobgraham8363]

@@adaangel8585 oh honey... I’m so sorry, being that stupid must be hard, you poor thing.

[@policerthought5649]

@@adaangel8585 Did you have fun storming the Capitol

[@cnellie2947]

Trumps voice is soo friggen irritating! The guy is a clown always needs a crowd to feel good about himself. Pitiful.

[@mamadat3621]

I consider his speeches to be nothing more than verbal masturbation! Watch his O-face, when the crowd starts chanting, “four more years”!

[@vuksgitau]

Right? I thought I was the only one who finds his voice grating.

[@mamadat3621]

Sylvia Gitau the whole world does!

[@sandraneiman5820]

My cat puts her ears back when he’s talking on tv! Seriously!

[@cnellie2947]

@@sandraneiman5820 I actually LOL'd

[@Leelz247]

“We pioneered the mortality rate?” Wow, words are hard.

[@billeosman5120]

does it make sense

[@dielaughing73]

@@billeosman5120 Yes but not in the way he intended

[@amit_patel654]

I knew he was doing this sh*t on purpose

[@Joannefibracs9994]

We’re number one...?

[@Jeffcrocodile]

"This is a taste of Biden's America"... Wait a minute, isn't that Trump's actual America?

[@markbriten6999]

@LAWRENCE looking from Europe we think there will be mass violence. From Trump support cos he lost and they don't like it

[@TheMelancholicWriter]

LAWRENCE Found the Trump simp guys!

[@evawurttemberger4994]

Isn't it weird that Trump and the GOP slugs blame the actual total mess in USA to Biden and there are people who believes theese liars?

[@BrokeredHeart]

@@TheMelancholicWriter I assumed it was a troll account - it is not. All caps nut job has a lot of saved videos to Christian "save your soul and repent" videos....... and then a weirdly high number of Tom Jones and Paul McCartney music videos. Everyone has their fetishes, I suppose. lol

[@TheMelancholicWriter]

LAWRENCE Might be hard to win when all his dumbass supporters are dead or suffering from Covid, because they don’t take it seriously and get infected...

[@iloveschmuzzies]

There's something to be said for the delightful muffled giggles in the background of these recordings. Thank you for that. My props to the snicker-er. You bring me joy in these trying times.

[@Canuckmom128]

@kazterboro That's Stephen's Wife, Evie. She's been helping with the show since he started broadcasting from home. TONS of feedback from viewers saying she has to be part of the show, now, cuz we all love her giggles. They are a delightful couple.

[@amymargarethowe]

I’m with you - it makes the monologue almost normal. Plus knowing it’s his family makes it all the funnier. The raspy laugh really got me tickled.

[@rb7297]

I love listening to Evie laugh! Especially when it makes Stephen start laughing.

[@rosebud4467]

That's about the only laughs Colberts dumbass will ever get.

[@rosebud4467]

@@Canuckmom128 You have to be kidding. Ewe.

[@majorwingnut8879]

British Writer Pens The Best Description Of Trump I’ve Read March 8, 2019 ~ Michael Stevenson Someone on Quora asked “Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?” Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England wrote the following response: A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief. Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility - for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty. Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness. There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege. And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff - the Queensberry rules of basic decency - and he breaks them all. He punches downwards - which a gentleman should, would, could never do - and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless - and he kicks them when they are down. So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that: • Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are. • You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man. This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws - he would make a Trump. And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumps of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created? If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.

[@kathleenclark5877]

major wingnut BRILLIANT!

[@williamplatt1641]

That is pretty dead on. Very well written.

[@PhoenixHinds]

That certainly covers what bothers me about him.

[@michaelscarlino2418]

Spot on, 👏👏👏👏

[@wolverine3344]

🏅 KZbin Top-comment award 🥇. Brilliant.

[@danmaftei7633]

Not gonna lie, I love this more intimate setting because the staff trying to conceal their laughter behind camera is so much more contagious than audience laughter.

[@le2800]

Don't Maftei. Yes! I know right! I wish it could stay this way!

[@EH23831]

A taste of BIDEN’S America?? Who is currently president?? Am I tripping? What’s happening?

[@krystofdayne]

Fascism doesn't need logic. Just fear and racism.

[@Ayeshteni]

Yup. I shook my head in dumb shock, like i'd been kicked between the eyes by a raging bull. I don't know what's worse; that they thought this was a good argument, or that their base will lap it up, hook, line and sinker.

[@vincentjohnflorio]

The choice is clear: Trump's current America or Biden's future Spain!

[@markone6861]

Madness is happening

[@mdnnamartin]

He has lost it all together. He likes to point at those who are not currently in Washington for all he is messing up.

[@oyaoyaoya9099]

when they say "this is a taste of Biden's America"...... uuuuuh who's been sitting in office for 4 years,?

[@53cr3t4ccnt]

That was just a 4 year hologram. He was in Russia to find a location for his new tower. Lol

[@gmbligh-shuck8989]

They think the average voter is stupid and blind that's why they think they can tell folks that this is currently Biden's America. Again Trump absolving himself of all responsibility.....too busy gobbling Mac burgers and watching Fox News.

[@CT-vm4gf]

It’s either Obama’s fault or Biden’s fault. He never blames himself, the current POTUS!

[@captain2ahab]

they are trumpanzees. don't try to argue with them

[@Silvana716]

That's what psychos do - choose a convenient scapegoat and put effort into publicizing they are "bad" even though there's no logic used, avoid personal responsibility; my father would tell relatives that the bathroom smelled after I cleaned it, that I was worthless (a good job at US Immigration, then a grad student working two jobs, no drugs, alcohol or erratic behavior, which normal parents would be proud of and supportive), I was the reason he couldn't marry his 7 year fiancee, equally a nut, who continued to blame me even after I moved out and they broke up, I was blamed for my family home having waterbugs even though they still appeared after I moved out, and nothing on the floors of my apartment to attract them, called to ask if I ran up a big phonebill, while my brother was the only one who lived with him, claimed I nearly had him thrown out of his own house by my uncles when I never had a word with them and wasn't living there, and along with his equally deranged brother then tried to stop me when I moved out, and called me a "fat bitch" - meanwhile his girlfriend was a few sizes bigger; he had no trouble, however, with his fiancee attempting to make herself comfortable in the hous my mother and he built, even her relatives trying to home in like leeches. I still get angry thinking about the long list of crazy I experienced with him. I guarantee Trump has done this within his own family.

[@laalaa99stl]

Congrats on literally surviving season five, Stephen! Best wishes to you, Evie, Jon, the band, the writers, and the crew. Thanks for helping all of us stay homin!

[@wilfredowen7632]

Stephen's writers are ab-so-lutely nailing it lately. His delivery is the icing on the cake.

[@justhuman24]

Stephen without you this presidency would have been unbearable.

[@paulkerrigan9857]

True.

[@shelbyclark4620]

Please say it isn't true! We NEED you more than ever, Stephen!

[@namehere2206]

Sit back buttercup... 4 more years!!! MAGA!!!!

[@isthisjustfantasy7557]

@jason cole 😂 what are you on you loser?

[@mattk6101]

@jason cole what do you mean "back to Canada?" Colbert was born in the US. You sound jealous of the fact that he's a late show host and you're a nobody who's going back under their rock in November.

[@christomaszewski1580]

He's talking about Abraham Lincolin like he's in the same league. Abraham Lincolin freed the slaves, you're making the presidency into a monarchy.

[@TaurusHere]

Actually, Lincoln did NOT free slaves as they were still enslaves until 1865 and beyond and Lincoln was Racist and said Negroes would Never be EQUAL to Whites. With that being said, Trump is still not in any position to evoke Lincoln bcuz he COULDN'T fit his shoes like he will NEVER be able to fit President Obama's shoes

[@theosher101]

Dear America, If this doesn't change on November 3rd, the entire world will never forgive you.. Sincerely, The rest of the world

[@elizabethwhite1068]

We're really trying! Just keep posting this exact message. Thank you!

[@antoniosaxon8605]

The Other Virus- US Republican Conservative Senators Featured (Sena)Traitors: All Below; Weak, Do Nothing, Fake Conservatives, who for Stand Strong for: Destroying the US Postal Service so Their Master, Donald J Trump, can take away Americans Constitutional right to vote. All turning their backs to America and allowing Russian and other Foreign interference in US Elections. Protecting their own power, political interests & wealth. Denying a woman’s rights to choose, earn equal wages of men, and speak out against abuse. Sexism, Voter Suppression, Health Care for None, Racism and Social Inequality. Support of Russia, foreign election interference and destroying the American Military. Silence; Weakness. Allow President Donald J. Trump and Bill Barr to destroy the United States Constitution, US Rule of law, US National Security & the US Economy. The Other Virus are US Senators BELOW. All Need TO BE VOTED OUT OF OFFICE. 1) (MOSCOW RICH) Mitch McConnell. 2) Ron Johnson- Wisconsin 3) Lindsey (LENINGRAD) Graham- South Carolina 4) Thom Tillis- North Carolina 5) Cory Gardner- Colorado 6) Joni Ernst- Iowa 7) Susan Collins- Maine 8) Chuck Grassley- Iowa 9) Steve Daines- Montana 10) John Cornyn- Texas 11) Martha McSally- Arizona 12) Kelly Loeffler- Georgia 13) Ted Cruz (“No Backbone”)- Texas (Apologies to your wife for allowing Donald Trump to insult her; You, simply fine with it. 14) John (“kiss my Ass”) Kennedy- Louisiana 15) Marco Rubio- Florida 16) Rick Scott- Florida 17) Josh Hawley- Missouri 18) John Thune- South Dakota 19) Rand Paul- Kentucky 20) Jim Inhofe, Oklahoma The Long List of Do Nothing, Say Nothing, Donald J. Trump Puppet Senators is a Disgrace to the United States of America. VOTE OUT ALL UP FOR REELECTION IN NOVEMBER 2020 AND THOSE IN 2022

[@juliekay3662]

That's right, we're ALL relying on you America, for goodness sake, get rid of trump, we can't come on holidays to hawaii because of him, you need to get this virus under control. It will take ages, for people to think it's safe to visit again. You must be loosing billions of dollars because of him

[@marymorgan8282]

My God, that is so true. I beg you America - bring them all down.

[@TheSCPStudio]

Did you know Trump lost popular vote last election but was still made president? The American people have no true power.

[@cloud__99]

The more exhausted and frustrated Stephen is the more hilarious he gets 😅 Thank you for making this dumpster fire slightly more bearable for us Stephen, it has aged us just as much as it has you...

[@nicolebrown1927]

I know!😂😂😂

[@nadt5547]

@dmo572 Actually, it's because he worked for and cared about the American people. Your idiot has killed 180,000 souls and it doesn't even faze him. Heartless bastard.

[@lynndenault4212]

Stephen and his writers nailed it this week. Tuesday was epic.

[@danivani5978]

I'm gonna have to stop right there✋. No they didn't.

[@soni-switch5270]

Indeed.

[@juliannaagoncillo6090]

@@danivani5978 I'm inclined to agree. It was actually WEDNESDAY's show that cemented the zeitgeist of the 2020 election. However, Lynn, I do agree Tuesday was epic, just secondary to Wednesday personally~ Have a nice day, both of you~

[@clearfield2009]

Ivanka “American Girl doll that just follows orders” perfect.

[@gmbligh-shuck8989]

They are prepping her for government..she fancies herself the next President. When the meeting of the world leaders happened..she tried to chime in on their conversation...in person. What a bubble head.

[@dsoccer241]

She runs multiple companies! She’s brilliant, hard working and drop dead gorgeous! Why you hatin?

[@dsoccer241]

S D the truth hurts sometimes, it’s okay though I understand.

[@WakeUpAmerican000s]

@@dsoccer241 If Ivanka is running multiple companies, why is she collecting a salary from American taxpayers while posing as a White House "advisor"? That's a direct conflict of interest, and it's against the law.

[@sukiyakiirinza3604]

jc As a member in good standing, of the, ‘Club Of Women’ (COW), I hereby recommend that Ivanka turn in her vajayjay and resign from the group. She won’t be abandoned. I hear one of her grandparents is an Orangutan!

[@colleen3107]

OMG, the Teleprompters said “I proudly accept......”. He didn’t even correct his reading mistake😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@19lhernandez]

Eileen Dover Trump truly is a MORON!!!

[@mariesinging7654]

Profoundly ACCEPT???🤣🤣

[@chuckperego2216]

You're right. I pulled the transcript and it was written as "proudly accept" which, of course, would be normal. It was a glaring moment of cognitive malfunction. As that moment was one of the key points in the speech, you'd think he would remember it, regardless.

[@FiferSkipper]

After the speech, Speech writer: I wrote 'proudly'... Trump: That's what I said. Speech writer: ?

[@Sam16mee]

Eileen Dover lol that’s the best you gave me a reason to smile! Thank you

[@daneweyo]

"We have pioneered the fatality rate" I'm utterly speechless at how profoundly and incomprehensibly moronic this statement is.

[@Hotspur37]

He was not wrong in that statement LOL highest death rate in the world

[@christinesmilak2633]

The presidency aged every ex president and trump aged the whole USA in less than 4 years. Wow!

[@jazz21977]

Not just the USA...

[@Silverfirefly1]

Well, you can't fix something that you can't see. If it wasn't for all the death, I'd say that 4 years of trauma could be the making of your nation... or the end of it obviously. Maturity is painful, nothing is in vain if the lessons are actually, finally learned. That won't happen overnight, though it won't happen at all whilst people are oblivious to what's important and how fast things can change. People are a lot more engaged than they've ever been, whatever comes next will be better informed for better or worse.

[@cero2277]

If Obama wanted to look younger he should’ve dyed his grey hair.

[@FinneousPJ1]

Yeah aged 4 years in 4 years wow lmao

[@MsMary957]

Funny I was just thinking about that.

[@akaviral5476]

"This is Biden's America" I'm sorry, WHO'S in office right now again? Right.

[@rudylabsilica2286]

Aidan ; yeah right, it isn’t just Biden’s America, it’s OUR America. Not one person owns this country, not even that horrible person running this country down right now. So if you’re claiming he owns this country, come November, he won’t be. And every educated, fair-minded voter will make sure of that.

[@adaangel8585]

It is Biden's America are you forgetting who was denying what was happening? What party is saying that it's peaceful protest and what party said that antifa did not exist? No this is nothing to do with Trump at all. It has to do with Trump hating white hating psychopath.

[@literatiglee]

I was planning to make this exact point -- these riots are happening under the Trump administration, not Biden's. Well, let's hope Biden has the chance to have an administration.

[@literatiglee]

@@adaangel8585 WTH are you talking about? Are you referring to a single person or just scads of psychopathic people who hate Trump AND hate white people? Your statement is incredibly unclear and if you're referring to the latter, extremely unlikely.

[@danadams6477]

@@literatiglee Lol. I agree. I was just thinking the same thing. It's very unclear.

[@archer9784]

“The mirror under your nose” 😂😂😂😂 thank you who ever wrote that.

[@sherryelle225]

I agree. I loved that joke.

[@captainkangaroo4301]

I had a mirror under my nose from 1976-1983

[@joe.5103]

🔥🔥

[@NewMessage]

I wonder how many times Ivanka had to repeat "Don't call him Daddy... Don't call him Daddy..." in her head during this speech.

[@antoniosaxon8605]

Fake-Vanka is a Joke

[@kenanderson517]

She was tutored by the adoring husband of mother.

[@cweissable]

LOL!

[@NewhamMatt]

I thought that was the way she got the job in the first place... "I want a job in the White House. Give it to me, Daddy. Give it to me Daddy! GIVE IT TO ME DADDY! YES! GIVE IT TO ME DADDY!"

[@jessthehuman]

7

[@randalldavis3251]

"Bone chilling nonsense from America's top trashbags" pretty much sums it up.

[@loristewart6141]

"The last four years is like Trump is Dorian Gray, and we're the picture!" Truer words were never spoke :(

[@loristewart6141]

@Jon Denver Neither Colbert nor I are unemployed bums, so no idea what you're talking about

[@oldrrocr]

he fell in love with his look after he was made-up with fake tan, hair, hair color... for his game show. And millions of fools fall for this conman. add to that his long addiction to stem-cell injections. you have a 150 pound overweight 11-year-old baby.

[@mlongoria124]

One of best byproducts of the pandemic... Steve, and wife/producers stuck in a small room keeping the country laughing!!

[@daddylongdreads]

It’s priceless right! I feel like they need a show together😊

[@dancalindi]

@@daddylongdreads They do have a show together. It's called A Late Show with Stephen Colbert 🤣😂😂. Just kidding, sorry, I couldn't resist.

[@IAmSuzyQ]

If you missed Trump's speech tonight, here's a summary... "Me, me, me, me, me. I, I, I, I, I. Deny, deny, deny, deny, deny. Cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. Gah Blesh Da Unidesh Schaces!"

[@davidshulimson9491]

I profoundly thank you for the summary so I don't have to watch the speech. (Full disclosure: I profoundly never had any intention to watch the speech.)

[@heavierthanlight7173]

Didn't watch it and now I'm even better informed than if I did!

[@annieparker3107]

And blah,blah,blah

[@janetives7718]

@@heavierthanlight7173 I had it on mute. I try lip reading. Not really.

[@heavierthanlight7173]

@@janetives7718 did you try to focus for 70 minutes on an area on the face of trump... 🤢

[@mickreaddin4979]

Trump..."I have broken America. Now I need 4 more years to completely destroy it."

[@anonymousposter3570]

LMAO.. No.. That was Obama and Biden

[@jedidiahhendricks8572]

Stephen, I don’t know if you’re going to have the time to read this but if you do. If we ever run into another lockdown situation and you’re okay with doing the show still, this is a great setting. Your family is the best, your interactions with your crew, the lighthearted zingers, I love it all. Please stay happy, healthy, and safe.

[@mandelw]

“He is Dorian Grey and we are the picture” that’s deep

[@pattycake9856]

William Mandel that was so funny and so true.

[@ckandrew]

It was one for the word nerds, for sure! 💜

[@charleswatson1093]

William Mandel Surprisingly , Wilde spelled it "Gray". Descending to the American level.

[@ckandrew]

@@charleswatson1093 crazy! I don't think I ever noticed that, but I've always used the spellings interchangeably myself, and tend not to notice one vs. the other in writing. I will say Oscar Wilde's writing sent me into a phase of writing overly dramatic stories in high school that used the word "settee" far more often than could ever have been warranted...😂 Descending to the American level... The burn is scorching. ❤️

[@charleswatson1093]

@@ckandrew Sorry about that!

[@mariapiaboni]

I'm Argentinian but the thought of a US citizen not voting it's inconceivable to me. There's to much at stake!

[@elizabethwhite1068]

Thank you! Please just keep posting this message. We need all the help we can get!

[@octavianpopescu4776]

@@elizabethwhite1068 Well, how can we help? I'm European, so technically we can't really get involved in campaigning. But I will say this: if I were American I would definitely vote, because I see things, patterns, behaviours in the US, I never thought possible in the "land of the free". It's weird to see such communist mentalities in people who were raised in freedom. We got these things, after 45 years of communism which was imposed on us at gunpoint by the US, UK and USSR after WW2. We never wanted it, never approved of it. But to see this slavish worship of one man by free people... I'm stunned. It's a real-deal personality cult. The RNC reminds me of former Communist Party congresses where the leader and his family were praised like they were the saviours of the motherland and without them the sky would fall on us. Trump may point to Sanders and Biden and scream socialism, but having been born in communism, he and his Red Party are the ones that remind me of it.

[@elizabethwhite1068]

@@octavianpopescu4776 Thank you so much for your comments. Can I ask what country you're in? I'm just curious with the description you give. You are absolutely right, about everything. It's scary as hell right now, we are all so stressed out. Not about whether we can get the votes, but that they could steal it again. In broad daylight they're trying to create massive problems to the postal service, and Russia is interfering again because they did nothing to stop them. Seeing the Dumpster and his criminal children and cronies treating the White House like it's his dictator palace is repugnant and extremely upsetting. I could go on but you seem very clear on what's happening. Every word out of their mouths is pure projection. As for what you all can do, make posts like this one anywhere you can. You can't send money but you can encourage people to vote. Early voting will start soon in some states. Encouragement from around the world may just get some people to vote.

[@octavianpopescu4776]

@@elizabethwhite1068 Thank you! I will. I'm from Romania and we had so many Trump-like politicians, the pattern is obvious. In a sense I feel it's my duty to tell people: don't go there! You don't want to go there! We've lived through this and the corruption dragged us down so much. He reminds me of Ceausescu's instinct to repress protests and a politician called George Becali. This last guy, is so identical to Trump, from hand gestures, to their vocabulary, to their incoherent way of speaking, to being in the real-estate business, even the campaign slogans sound similar (Make Romania like the Holy Sun in the Sky), both run their families more like a mafia godfather, both have far-right sympathies, both despise educated people, both ran a university, both tried running a sports team... I mean it's like the exact same person, but our guy ran for president twice, about a decade before Trump, but never got more than 2%. And then went to prison for a few years for fraud. It's like watching a horror film, you know what's going to happen you scream at the screen, you've seen this before, so many times, but it still plays out exactly like you anticipated and a character dies... this is how watching American politics from the outside is like.

[@elizabethwhite1068]

@@octavianpopescu4776 Wow, that's really crazy to hear. Dumpster has been thinking about it for a very long time. It's unsettling how much alike all dictators seem to be. Your experience could definitely help motivate some people. Thank you so much.

[@africanandproud6792]

It's so true. The presidency aged Obama. Trump aged the public.

[@cweissable]

Very true....

[@ChrisParayno]

Agreed

[@neldabanks5272]

I liked that

[@lilJuvis15]

You could even say that 180,000+ Americans aged so much they died. edit: 184,803 deaths as of 08/28/20 - 4:05am EST - this is NOT normal. Remember these fellow Americans when you vote this November.

[@TwistedTendencies1]

im fine you all must just have TDS lol

[@Canuckmom128]

"The last 4 years are like Trump is Dorian Gray and WE'RE the picture". Ya...that gets my line of the night award. I'm not even American and 4 years of Trump has screwed my blood pressure and increased my alcohol consumption. VOTE BIDEN/HARRIS 2020. Make sure you are Registered and Vote ASAP by mail, absentee ballot, or bring your camp chair and a lunch on Nov. 3rd. Signed: the rest of the World. Thanks EDIT: PS: Don't forget your Mask 😷

[@monica766]

Here here! From Canada

[@ГенадийПопов-ч7б]

Sorry, my message ...like a bottle with coordinates thrown into the ocean....I hope that someone will read my message and help me!, I hope to find someone who is not indifferent, I myself live in Siberia from Russia, I am 62 years old, I am alone...and I do not understand the Internet..I'm more than a little turned out all right on Facebook...but alas, I was banned...finally (Russophobia) in KZbin do not understand at all....over time, of course, experience will come. so I chose the tactic of sending my messages almost to ugat, in the hope Today, for all progressive, caring people who care about the fate of the planet, the fate of people, the fate of humanity! Today, it is unequivocally and irrevocably clear that warming is the main threat to humanity. It is extremely important to pay attention to projects that can change the situation on a global scale. to stop further warming. The main supplier of gases that provoke warming is a thermal power plant, which burns coal, gas, oil,...and the atom, too!. Exactly my invention… Still I ask all people who are not indifferent to the problem! to convey this message to interested persons and companies, I Apologize! if you are not interested in my offer I am from Russia .I live in Siberia looking for a sponsor (investor) I ask you to give this information to interested persons, companies..Thank you for reading with respect Popov Gennady.

[@janistotham-davies4300]

Canuckmom1958 I’m not American and I never want to be, and I live in this vile country!

[@praveensg]

@James Whipple just another generic Trumptard comment with no data to back up.

[@crosita1]

Honestly I can't decide, "the wrong grail" was pretty awesome too

[@edcpike]

I didn’t watch any of the RNC. I tried, I just couldn’t do it. From the highlights I see, it was everything I thought it would be. A racist cult rally.

[@jt_picks]

I just wanna know, how was it racist?

[@Rizzehgaming]

Yeah I am curious as well. Would you be able to advise how it was racist?

[@pibalibedeiby2324]

Only watched highlights on cnn.....says RNC was racist....intentionally uniformed.

[@Renpaichii]

"They didn't have money, they didn't have fame." What? Almost all of the founding fathers were wealthy land owners. There's literally a provision in the constitution that protects their revolutionary war bonds.

[@michellepowell9300]

This country was founded by rich white men for rich white men

[@LincolnDWard]

I think he must've just watched _Hamilton_ and now thinks that Hamilton was the only founding father.

[@pizdocivka]

"This is a taste of Biden's America." -brought to you by 4 years of Tump's presidency Who is insane here?

[@rayallensjumper]

Precisely. Pass the blame. Never take responsibility. Zero accountability.

[@michalvoh]

Yeah, he (Biden) has only been in politics for the last 50 years. No impact on currenct political climate whatsoever...muppet.

[@rayallensjumper]

michalvoh last time I checked the senate has 99 other seats. Biden wasn’t a one man congress 😂 nice try tho

[@rainbowprism6242]

@@michalvoh yes, just like that "quack doctor" who has been silenced and taken off task force to stop Covid-19 is criticized for not doing enough to stop Covid-19. Don't forget your prescription from Demon Sperm Doctor.

[@rayallensjumper]

Rainbow Prism who was bought and paid for by the oil lobby. Cuz they want the world to go back to normal again and start buying their product once more.

[@chaoslord8918]

"Wyatt Earp, Annie Oakley, Davey Crockett, and Buffalo Bill..." yet another fantastic example of how deep and knowledgable turnip and his base are...n't.

[@stephaniechung2366]

I’d rather watch 20 or more minutes of Colbert’s monologue than waste time on Chris Christie.

[@matthewsarson6934]

Yeah why even have those people on the show, even if it gives both sides a chance to talk to his audience, one side does nothing but tell provable lies.

[@nicolebrown1927]

I know. It's really annoying.

[@nikolaipersad4098]

💯 agreed!

[@ericrenz6074]

RIP Isaac Kappy

[@timypp2894]

Have your ever wonder why people supported and looked up to Hitler in the 30s? You don't have to look to hard..

[@uhu597]

I think the original phrase was probably something like, "I'm profoundly honored to accept..." But after the tenth time Trump has bungled saying it, his aide just changed it to "I accept..." But Trump likes how "profoundly" sounds, he just adds it back himself, thinking it would make him sound smart.

[@dancingwithnature5303]

Or how about "I am profoundly humbled as I accept..." trump being humble was such a revolting idea to him that he would've had a stroke contemplating saying it.

[@michaelwinter742]

Edit: profoundly smart.

[@a.lerner8468]

HE WILL, NOT ELECTED BUT HE WILL BE "SELECTED" FOR ANOTHER 4 YEARS.....THOSE IN POWER WANT HIM THERE.

[@gwenreader6631]

Sort of like that liberty mutual ad

[@kashiaroundtheworld]

That's sounds like an accurate assumption 🤣🤣🤣

[@lalakuma9]

It's bad enough that America's Endgame is approaching. Then Chadwick Boseman passed away when we need Black Panther the most.

[@AnabethalightASMR]

Lala OMG WHAT?! He died yesterday?!? Why didn’t I hear about this?!! WTF!!!

[@igorschmidlapp6987]

@@AnabethalightASMR You're REALLY quarantined, aren't you?

[@1TigerJo]

Heartbreaking, and a huge loss at a time when we need humans like him, a giant in heart and spirit, a beacon of light. I watched his Howard University commencement speech today and it was deeply inspiring, uplifting, powerful. There should be a statue of him, a foundation in his name.🌱🍃🌿🥀🌹🥀🌿🍃🌱

[@sheilahardy38]

That is totally stupid. He portrayed a fictional character. Trump is not racist and never has been. Chk out Alveda King on KZbin. She is Rodney King Jr.s neice. "It is outrageous to call this President racists."

[@bronztrooper9440]

@@sheilahardy38 Now, see, I might've taken a second to consider the potential validity of your claim, but no one here said anything about Drumpf being racist

[@WillBravoNotEvil]

To paraphrase Napoleon, “When your enemy is in the process of committing suicide, do not interfere."

[@leyrua]

Depends on their method. Suicide _bomber...?_

[@thomasword5762]

It is now Putin's saying.

[@helveticaification]

Love the half- stifled off- screen giggles. Will miss them after The Plague.

[@jazz21977]

"We've had quite enough of D.T. " -The world

[@BubblewrapHighway]

"No one else looked like they were trying to snort their way to a Peruvian citizenship!" LMAO 🎉👏

[@binghiboi8004]

How do Talking Hemorrhoids become Political Humorist? They hemorrhage by shit. Hollywood is their toilet...

[@BubblewrapHighway]

Fungus will help you. 🍄

[@ridgesail]

Colbert full derisive sarcasm..."Oh no, we can't cut into the Governor!!!" Christie's face in the final "coming up next" moment 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@michellepowell9300]

Something tells me that Christies hands are dirty from trumps casino ventures in new jersey

[@cw5001]

Christie was busy kissing the Orange Cheetolini butt. lol

[@jay-el-bee]

"After 4 nights of bone chilling nonsense from America's top trash bags.." Nailed it.

[@siddarthatummala4321]

Ieva Wehler The country isn’t nonsense but the President is. Got a problem with that?

[@letthesunshinethru2355]

@Ieva Wehler Of course you don't, troll.

[@jay-el-bee]

If you're in support of Mr. Trump and have watched this video, and then proceed to comment on a post from someone with an opposing view- take a minute to ask yourself why. Hint- it's because you want to argue with someone. 😆

[@chrissiek8706]

@Ieva Wehler taip, Ieva, ir baik nusišnekėt, commiai jai vaidenas mat...

[@reneolguin1081]

@Ieva Wehler not me...i am not a mother

[@crashdash5390]

Why does Trump need 1000 flags behind him? We get it, you're in the USA.

[@donelltarver7371]

🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@janetives7718]

He needed all those flags to remind him where he was...and to hide the Russian flags.

[@Pete...NoNotThatOne]

@markmac I don’t want to know. I’ve just eaten.

[@ukgirlinlv]

I thought that. What an imbecile he is.

[@vilebrequin6923]

@markmac they're all made from polyester; famed for its wipe-clean qualities....

[@davidjscox1]

Never thought I’d ever need to say this but the USA needs the United Nations Election Observers to man the polling stations and counting offices, as they do in third world dictatorships, to ensure a free and fair election.

[@pamelacass9642]

Unfortunately, I can see Donnie kicking out the UN and demanding DEFUNDING. He's not going to ask for election oversight.

[@sarenarterius6058]

Can't imagine how it must feel to be granted citizenship only for the sake of propaganda. Wonder how the new citizens will explain that to their families.

[@ValerieJNorse]

My guess is that the joy of citizenship -- which is NOT easy to get -- is greater than the off-putting circumstances.

[@schoolcraft420]

"We have pioneered the fatality rate" -History book

[@vegasj305]

Deep thoughts by DJT 2020!!

[@DS-rt1ed]

He's not wrong....we're number one in Covid fatalities...something to be proud of???? 🤔🤨🤒🥴

[@ofdrumsandchords]

To be precise the fatality rate of America is very low. For once, he's right. But you are in the top ten for mortality rate, and you can still win the gold.

[@expatla8671]

@@ofdrumsandchords with their behaviour and the Orange family/team in charge, almost no doubt about this..

[@wetbobspongepants]

After watching the rnc which was so disturbing and anxiety inducing that I’ve decided to relax by watching The Shining.

[@yoidkldk]

Which version?

[@JadeValour]

When he said, "No one else looked like they were trying to snort their way to a Peruvian citizenship", I choked on my tea!

[@coosoorlog]

"I profoundly accept"... oh no someone gave that swamp thing a thesaurus

[@robelmurph]

You think he's smart enough to open that up? It probably was a paint-by-numbers word of the day calendar.

[@sandraaustin1282]

Reader's digest word of the day or it was on his day planner, word a day.

[@honeste6652]

And when they did, he exclaimed, "Oh, boy! A thingasaurus! That's my favorite dinosaur!"

[@victoriabaker4400]

Apparently the teleprompter script said "proudly", which his mouth changed to profoundly. I say "mouth" because there is no brain engagement.

[@theeviloverlord7168]

Please don’t. He’ll be using endless synonyms without any regard for connotations.

[@jenniferkeane2455]

I can’t listen to him. He speaks in almost a monotone that drops every few seconds, and the content is all about “more than anyone else” “like never before” and “I have pioneered and set the record” It’s mind numbing.

[@le2800]

@@michaelvickers1202 Hmm! Who was that at the DNC giving Joe Biden's very moving speech of solidarity.

[@reneolguin1081]

@@michaelvickers1202 who told you that mikey? alex jones?

[@Bullboy_Adventures]

Trump can make complete sentences, but that doesn't really mean anything since its nonsense.

[@jakefromstatefarm1100]

@@Bullboy_Adventures Biden can't make a reply w/o someone holding up a queue card. This is the best you can do for the DNC? You have already lost.

[@fionaanderson5796]

@@michaelvickers1202 yeah but trump has never managed a sentence of more than 4-5 words. Longer than that and he just vomits incoherent half sentences.

[@kellyg358]

"Looks like I drank from the wrong grail!" This is more true than I want to admit.

[@negascoot23]

I know...I feel and look about twenty years older after surviving the ten years of Trump's administration... ...wait--it's only been FOUR? But what about the six years since the pandemic hit? Those were *MONTHS???* 😵😵😵

[@angelinamclaughlin-heil]

Congrats on 5 years of Late Show!🎉Thank you for all you and your team do to inform and entertain

[@radle12000]

Sooooo... when I get a job I can blame everything that’s gone wrong on my predecessor after over three years. And then blame it on someone who may take over my job?

[@cherylyates9845]

Only if you are an insane sociopath coddled rich boy. Then, yes you can. Do we buy into it? Enough is enough.

[@33lex55]

If your boss is a Trumptard, it might work..

[@terrygibson1808]

Radle12000 Let me know if this works Please! LoL And if you get raises. ..

[@AlienCatTweets]

"After 4 Nights Of Bone Chilling Nonsense From America's Top Trash Bags" ... It was funny and 100% true.

[@garybeauchamp3623]

Hilarious in your book? The Three Stooges are better. To you it is funny no doubt because you despise Trump. Would it be funny if it was aimed at the precious democrats who like to ignore riots and lawlessness. Carson and Leno had more humor in their little toe than this arrogant self satisfied gnome.

[@AlienCatTweets]

@@garybeauchamp3623 First, this is my opinion. You are allowed yours as well. And if the Democrats did what the President did (campaigning in and on the White House grounds) Republican politicians would be screaming "Hatch Act Violations!!" to anyone who would listen. And this should not be happening, political opponents should not be allowing people who are NOT police or the National Guard to roam the streets looking for someone to beat or shoot. THAT right there is the definition of "lawlessness", sir.

[@daviddunn1923]

You’ve got to be talking about the DNC!

[@michaeladkins6]

@@AlienCatTweets The Hatch Act is far down the list of drumpf crimes.

[@AlienCatTweets]

@@daviddunn1923 But I don't got. That rabbit hole is clear down on the other side of the room. Peace.

[@mateonoctis3114]

As a Spanish guy I beg you: please end this madness in November. Joe Biden, correcto para España y para el mundo entero.

[@ankaylance8279]

This isn't in support of Trump nor Republicans at all, thing is, not really, Biden is the lesser evil. U.S. may do better with him, but, not the world. If you know anything about the U.S. foreign policy and how the democratic party just enforces that onto the world, you'd know wars, invasions and interference in other countries made by USA gov. and their agencies will be a vital part of their agenda. Also, Harris, proved by her own acts, she's one of those persons who puts social class over people.

[@boredom2go]

The only madness we need to end is our involvement in NATO. I could not care less what España thinks about our president, be it Joe Biden, Donald Trump, or Peewee Herman. Spain is insignificant to America. Europe is not our ally.

[@facespaz]

"The immigrants didn't know they would be appear at the RNC, they were conned by Trvmp... Congratulations, now you're Americans." So true. So true...

[@thumperpaul155]

They were just a photo -op.

[@kristine6324]

"We threw up a little in our mouths..." - SC - 😂

[@sunnydaze2359]

Kristine : My God. , does anyone have a more monotonous tone than him ? His voice actually hurts my ears.

[@MR-qz4ny]

What makes me laugh is everything he accuses his opponents of he has actually done lol 😆 😂 trump is a waste of human tissue

[@straydog427]

Also to be fair everything bad he pointed out for doing Obama a Democrat has done and worse so its not like things are better under Democratic control.

[@genelomas332]

It's called deflection, and is a classic trait of a narcissist..

[@chrissiek8706]

Done or planning to do...

[@doubl33Ace]

@@straydog427 Yes, everything was better under Obama. Who do you think saved the U.S. from the great recession caused by cons? Who saved the U.S. auto industry so Americans can enjoy their SUVs and Pick trucks? There are so many great things done by the democrats and Obama. You refuse to acknowledge that because you listen to Rush Limbaugh everyday, am I wrong?

[@MR-qz4ny]

@@straydog427 ok troll why don't you stick to ur conspiracy theories...get out of actual conversations ...

The background laughs and back and forth banter between Stephen and his family is far superior than the canned laughter of the studio audience. Could just keep the Home Late Show

[@FaithyFrometa]

Facts. Same for Trevor Noah over at the daily show. They don’t ever need to go back to the old style

[@SnarlingMaiden]

..."after listening to YOU for 70 minutes . . ." LOL I LOVE you Steven!

[@MA1.5]

“Pioneered the fatality rate.” What does that mean?

[@aevelynmoose609]

REDUX OKTOBERFEST SING ALONG WITHOUT THE STEINS OF BEER.

[@thekububeach]

Hahahaha he invented the rate .. and it’s beautiful

[@leonwright8643]

First to discover the secret for the mass killing of Americans! A real pioneer!

[@Cathyblj]

It means that he profoundly pioneered the moribund rate of fetal abnormalities.

[@Hailstormful]

Well, America DOES have the highest body count in the world for COVID cases... maybe that's what he meant?

[@kar891]

For someone who calls Biden 'sleepy', that was a pretty boring and predictable speech. Can you get more monotone?

[@cathieludemann5879]

I don't know what annoys me more - trump's monotone voice or his slouching over every podium.

[@OldieBones]

Trump always accuses others of what he himself is guilty of.

[@cyny6305]

He sounds a lot like "Yahweh" - The Burning Bush in The Ten Commandments: Sleepy Bored Omnipotence.

[@nonyabizness.original]

SHHHHH!!! he's trying to READ.

[@michaeladkins6]

@@cathieludemann5879 For me, its just his need to lie about everything.

[@robharris9406]

He's made the White House look like the Nuremburg rally grounds.

[@architech02]

In a few months it will look like the nuremburg trials

[@Resologist]

No, the Nuremberg rallies were much better attended, better choreographed, included a spectacular lighting (the Lichtdom, or "Cathedral of Light"), military displays, and had better speakers. It was so disappointing that the 11th Party Congress was cancelled at the last moment, when the "Rally of Peace" was interrupted by the invasion of Poland a day before its opening. And, who would want to bore their audiences by filming a long-winded speech by a pathological narcissist? Certainly, not Leni Riefenstahl. And, it's "Nuremberg."

[@bowdencable7094]

Melanie helped by destroying the Rose Garden.

[@architech02]

@Dahn they will all disown trump the same way many of hitler's generals disowned him

[@msjadeli]

Congratulations on 5 years, Stephen and Crew. Thank you for being there.

[@tzzz7]

Such an obscene display of classlessness at OUR White House. "The Real World Washington D.C."

[@ilovesuisse1]

Yeah like when crooked Hillary worked there and ugly Michelle (Michael) Obama polluted the White House and Washington.

[@ilovesuisse1]

Rick Ton Sorry to disappoint you, i don’t live in the US, don’t follow the Confederacy, i just observe what’s happening in the US from outside the country, none of the past Presidents have been holy, they’ve all had stains on their records, so it’s a bit of a joke that the Left wants to bash Trump non-stop no matter what he does. All the people trashing Trump, why don’t they go and do a better job!

[@ellenw391]

OMG no Steven Colbert you can't take a break, you can't, not this year! You and Trevor Noah are pretty much the only things keeping my sanity! Think of the sane American people who will have no place to turn. Please come back soon... Like maybe after a long weekend rest And for the love of everything holy, please,....Do not cut your hair and go back to that hidious old GOP hair style! You look better now!!!!!!

[@drdeesnutts48]

"You and Trevor Noah are pretty much the only things keeping my sanity!" Maybe they're what is harming your sanity, ever think of that?

[@rongav1997]

Jose Alejandro nope the correct answer to who is harming our sanity is Donald J Trump!! Thanks for playing though Jose

[@8ofwands300]

Try Randy Rainbow...he is therapeutic too.

[@thiliniwish19]

totally!

[@Soul-OnFire]

Dont forget... john oliver ....

[@larazanz]

The RNC was just a 4 day ad for Cocaine, complete with screaming, paranoia, and manic rages.

[@citrusandseasalt]

larazanz still, it sounds better in the original German.

[@larazanz]

Martin S. lol 😆 ok

[@janetives7718]

Plus a few fat old right wing women. The fireworks were lovely, though.

[@Libervation]

Yeah, I'm sure the anti-drug party was doing drugs. You're dumber than dirt

[@larazanz]

Roger the “anti-drug party?” Hardly. 😂

[@okzoomer5728]

"We have pioneered the fatality rate" Trump just admitted that he loves bigly body counts, oof. Took him a while to tell the truth for once.

[@JennyverseLive]

@@robsuffridge9298 Whatever, 'Rob'.

[@le2800]

What Eva. I know right! Great one!!!

[@le2800]

@ Rob Suffridge. What Biden said is that THIS isn't his America. It is TRUMP'S. It began UNDER Trump and is continuing UNDER Trump while TRUMP stands by and let it happen. So he can tell obedient sycophants like yourself that because it is happening in Democratic led cities and Biden is running as a DEMOCRATIC president then low and behold it MUST belong to him. Let me explain to you, THAT is NOT how the world works. When natural disasters took place or shootings took place Obama nor any of the other presidents ever said it wasn't their problem because it was in states that aren't Democratic or Republican. No one except that infantile Trump has EVER tried to separate the U.S. like that, except maybe Nixon.:-) All Biden is doing is placing this mess squarely on the shoulders of the man who deserves it.

[@ClipsTVUSA]

Rob Suffridge that’s a modified link, you think people are that stupid.

[@lisagulick4144]

The green-screen dress...lol! Had to rewind just to watch it again!

[@kdk9460]

So did I!!! Lol too good.

[@thekingofcool2105]

What's the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter 'F'.

[@gozzilla177]

You know you dont have to spam this joke right?

[@xmilkshakesx]

Is it smoke stacks?! Because I feel like he’s more of a tooter and booter. 🐖

[@charleel1800]

You know flying pigs must exist now, because if years ago someone had told you Trump would be president you would have said, "Yeah, when pigs fly!"

[@gozzilla177]

@@charleel1800 That is accurate for me lol

[@DroCaMk3]

What the difference between this joke and the exact same joke in the last 200 videos? Yeah I wonder as well

[@BabysitterSky]

....isnt having this speech at the white house illegal?

[@ringoringo8000]

Welp, you got him!!! Now what?? Nothing. Is this your first week??

[@BabysitterSky]

@@ringoringo8000 hey guys look!! I found a dbag on the internet??? Has anyone ever seen such a rare sight?????

[@RabblesTheBinx]

No. It's improper and generally frowned upon, but there's no actual law preventing a president from making campaign speeches from the White House.

[@davidlundquist1979]

Wow, the sarcasm in this thread really escalated quickly. Ironic, since Trump doesn't know what sarcasm is.

[@BabysitterSky]

@@davidlundquist1979 False. He invented sarcasm.

[@davidanderson_surrey_bc]

"...we have pioneered the fatality rate." A gold star to whoever can give me the best comment on THAT line.

[@dizzyonaball4623]

Republicans will blame the commas. It should have been, "Thanks to advances we have pioneered, the fatality rate has been reduced by 80 percent" but was spoken, "Thanks to advances, we have pioneered the fatality rate." I'd like to have heard how the rest went. "...has-been reduced by 80 percent" would sound like Trump talking about his poll ratings.

[@sacluvsBM]

I didn't watch it. I had something more interesting to do like trim my toenails. Or absolutely anything else.

[@shana2283]

Picking my nose...

[@rexsexson5349]

I went and took a shit. Oh and purposely forgot it was on.

[@tomu8237]

Maybe...pull your head out of your a$$.

[@tracey7317]

I didn't watch-- I expressed my dog's anal glands

[@VishwaJay]

You didn't miss much. People seeming to try to be all fired up, but something was just "off". It turned out to be rather boring. Painfully. Boring. Rinse, lather, repeat.

[@filopat67]

When tRump speaks all I hear is "Person, woman, man, camera, TV".

[@Ed-zv8ot]

I only see Sarah Coopers parodies of him whenever Trump speaks now - quite the relief!

[@Lumibear.]

Just FYI Trump means fart in British child slang, no need to shrink the t for a giggle at his name over here.

[@jaygray7102]

I hit the mute button

[@LelynnsSquirrels]

Trump says SO MUCH, as he says NOTHIN at all... 🙄 [ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, blah, blah, BLAHHHH]

[@dukeofdubuque950]

That is all Trump cares about. Narcissistic. I bet the mental test administrating doctor chose those 5 words because they are the most likely to be remembered by TV personality Trump.

[@caroljolly4764]

It took me off a bit when I heard TRUMP say, "I PROFOUNDLY accept the nomination" to deceive the American Republican nomination for president to. Thank you Stephen!

[@rainehappy7097]

Trump not understanding the meaning of the word profound is the opposite of profound.

[@samanthathompson9812]

Strongly, heavily etc. His use of words is off because his humanity is off. No joke.

[@breadyegg]

"You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means"

[@moviesovermatterproductions]

Colbert! You get him man! this was HILARIOUS! watching it again and again! X-D

[@duckweedy]

Trump can't even read the teleprompter which told him to say I proudly accept.

[@valle3452]

How he managed to go from "proudly" to "profoundly" is a mystery to me. But then again, he's come up with words like "covfefe", "thighland", "yo-semite", and invented a few new words when he tried to say "anonymous", among others. So yes, let's scratch that, no real surprise; the fucker can't read to save his life and his mind is a proper mess.

[@duckweedy]

@@valle3452 Sort of mistake someone who is finding it hard to process words. makes. Before he was president he wouldn't use teleprompters so it may be an ongoing disability except that even without the teleprompter he changes words like oranges for origins. Suggests some sort of brain dysfunction possibly vascular dementia.

[@10ksubsfornovideochallenge58]

Is that what is supposed to be meant .

[@christinesmilak2633]

Trump can't read at all. That's why he hires so many people to do everything for him. What a pantywaist. He is totally worthless. Has the IQ of a new born.

[@christinesmilak2633]

The presidency is a job that requires a person who has an education in law and is not self centered and who served our country and so on. Trump is nothing like that.

[@camelsheit_on_the_walls446]

I know I am repeating myself here, but: If you let trump get a second term, you will have a full blown *Horror* version of Idiocracy on your hands, USA .

[@oregonman5918]

We have that now

[@JamesLStapleton]

Yeah, we're going to try our best. Only thing we can right now is vote at the polls. If he doesn't fuck us over on that. If that doesnt work? Who knows...

[@kimim2702]

These are terrifying times. Heaven help us if tRump wins in November (and it won’t be legally). It might be the end of the American experiment.

[@Rudilsa80]

I love that film and it's totally heading in the idiocy direction.... time to hit the breaks.

[@waywardgoddess7219]

We'll end up having another civil war at that point or WW3 with Hair Twitler

[@ThePaddyknowsbest]

“If Joe Biden has his way, your burger will drive through you”. My favourite line ever on this show.

[@robbieburns3564]

"In Mother Russia - Burger drive through you!!!"

[@leavingitblank9363]

Playing with the green screen dress was brilliant. They should have done more.

[@blisguy]

He couldn't read "proudly" and instead said "profoundly" Even he doesn't pay attention to his speech

[@op3129]

majority of my brain suspects he sharpied that edit beforehand bc he thinks its "stronger" (but you could be right bc "parents fighting for their children's furniture" actually happened)

[@jimreily7538]

Yeah, his Amphetamines have stopped working.

[@oldrrocr]

truth that he doesn't read his speeches beforehand, that he cannot read without glasses(he doesn't have any) and that he doesn't even know what the word "profoundly" means. Penn/Wharton must be sooooo profoundly proud.

[@suzanneadamson1306]

He gets this sing-song inflection when he's straining to sound sincere. He knows he's a mind-gamer.

[@marinemccord1059]

Did I miss when Joe Biden became president and started ruining the country? I’m so confused what’s going on anymore 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

[@mlpfanboy1701]

You didnt. The republicans are just talking out of the asses.

[@missmary2877]

.. Don't forget that Donald Trump has "pioneered the death rate ..."

[@nonyabizness.original]

i've seen a lot of presidents blame the last guy for whatever crap is going on. never saw one blame the NEXT guy for the crap going on now. that darned d.j. ☠️

[@sealand000]

Don't you know that Biden runs a shadow government in coordination with the deep state?

[@tyronnezx]

The democraps are busy daydreaming

[@ronanmckeown9785]

"...before the end of the year, or maybe even sooner." What? Is he a time-traveller now?

[@bizzmoneyb]

“Snorting his way to Peruvian citizenship.” 🤣 OMG.. THATS GREAT. Biden/Harris Nov 3rd, btw.

[@mina0680]

Choked on my coffee...worth it!! 😂😂

[@catherineescobedo328]

Wasn't necessary when it's the Americans and not Peruvians the greatest consumers. Loved his delivery until this dumb "joke".

[@richardbraakman7469]

He "profoundly" accepted the nomination because his staff couldn't get him to say the word "humbly"

[@buddhababy2005]

Oh, thanks, was that the word on the teleprompter...No, he has no humility whatsoever!

[@lindataylor3834]

@@buddhababy2005 I wonder if the word on the teleprompter was "proudly", which he either misread or purposely changed thinking he was replacing it with a stronger adverb that would depict greater emphasis. But just like many of his statements, it just sounded profoundly stupid.

[@Gun4Freedom]

This is an entirely plausible hypothesis. If I were a gambling sort, I would take odds on this.

[@lilsammich8252]

At least his aides talked him out of "awesomely accepting"

[@Gun4Freedom]

@@lilsammich8252 Awesomely accepting the nomination could actually make a positive, complete thought, as in: I have some indescribable awe for the responsibility of this post. Profoundly accepting the nomination brings to mind that he may have profound plans regarding his Moscow handler's goals.

[@Sparkeywon]

The RNC Has been a Perfect Example of what can be expected from the dt administration at All Times. ALL LIES

[@zodspeed]

The GOP has let Trump take over their party... it's sad honestly

[@zuodongjiang1312]

Did you do any research? Any? Why you said that? One answer is you don’t know how innocent yourself is

[@zodspeed]

@@zuodongjiang1312 Trump is the biggest liar on the planet. He told 20 different lies in a single night during the RNC.

[@zuodongjiang1312]

Cameron If you only listen to fake news like cnn, and believe they are the truth.

[@zodspeed]

Zuodong Jiang you can’t just yell “fake news” at everything... facts are facts, and lies are lies.

[@Katrulzin]

Dear Vladimir Putin, Hey again, it's me, the best President of the United States. Writing to you, Vladimir Putin, that the American people still believe that I'm the best President of the United States, and that our plan is so far a great success... the greatest. Soon, the world shall tremble beneath our feet, and run the world as I see fit.. I mean WE see fit. Your greatest admirer of all tyrannical ways, Donald J. Trump PS : I love you, Putin. It arouses me to be your little marionette. Pull my strings you bad boy.