We Didn't Need Slaves & The Contract | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS926

[@dariustiapula]

"The time has come. Execute order 66." Every maid, butlers, janitors etc "It will be done."

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

That has _got_ to be exceptionally embarassing. Imagine getting Thanossnapped by a guy named wooster in a catgirl maid outfit!

[@Mr_Jester980]

@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb Wooster: *HAVE A FWEE TICKET TO HEAVWEN, BISH! ÒwÓ*

[@mill2712]

And I know who sent the order too. images.app.goo.gl/up6ALyw43628SopEA

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

@@Mr_Jester980 Alien: _Hey wait what for did you clean this room out?_ Butler: _OH nothing much it's just for_ lights dim,voice lowers *_your demise_* AAAAAAAAAAAA-

[@toothpasteman3400]

@@mill2712 only the queen of england

[@hogfry]

Story 1) Behold the ULTIMATE human weapon... VERY Malicious Compliance. Story 2) Space Pajamas!

[@AgroSquerril]

snuggies

[@Kingofdragons117]

We have a whole subreddit for Malicious Compliance!

[@johnbryant989]

@@Kingofdragons117 Really, what's it called? That sounds interesting.

[@hogfry]

@@johnbryant989 R\maliciouscompliance and it's a beautiful place.

[@johnbryant989]

@@hogfry Thank you!

[@trentenswett6306]

The first story reminds me of a saying "don't fear the snake you can see, but the one you can't", also the moment he said that the Human "slaves" where taught how to use AI and all important officials had Human "slaves" I knew they defiantly fucked up, a lesion well learned thru out our history, if you can't out right win often times it pays to submit and bide your time and when the enemy is least the aware then strike. Complacency and a patient enemy biding their time has fallen many of armies, and empires.

[@brianisgett1095]

1st

[@TheLastGarou]

I kept waiting for the "how did you do this to us" line. To which the obvious reply is "we've done this before."

[@speakingwithoutnet]

@@TheLastGarou That is a good line. I wish I'd thought of it when I wrote it.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

also the surest way to ensure a secure rule is holding the hearts of the people (fear, love, or reverence).

[@trentenswett6306]

@@henrypaleveda7760 True enough.

[@Gilhelmi]

First story. A patient assassin will wait until the targets guard is down. A war was waged for 15 years, and the Xeno slavers didn't notice until the knife was in thier back. An elegant war to say the least.

[@condorboss3339]

First story: We are Spartacus!

[@LucianoMas-t7b]

(xenos dying in the bacground) I AM SPARTACUS

[@johnro5650]

Hahahaha well said

[@toothedacorn4724]

When the humans switch off your empire

[@kyleeames8229]

I like the “deathworlder” concept but I am kinda perplexed as to why the assumption is so common that Earth is at the high end of the inhospitability bell curve.

[@jaydeleon8094]

its because there are so many climates each with there own problems

[@kyleeames8229]

I understand that Earth is far from a perfect life bearing planet but where the widespread assumption that Earth isn’t the norm comes from eludes me. To be clear, I love the “big bad Human” type stories. They’re great for the ego but what if it turns out that compared to most non-humans sentients we’re sentient space mice?

[@finnstark673]

I don't think that'd be a HFY (Humanity, F*** Yeah!) story lol

[@kyleeames8229]

It could be. For instance, maybe we space mice have some unique abilities owing to our uncommon ancestral ecological niche, or perhaps Earth is unique in other ways.

[@brianisgett1095]

5th

[@genildomiranda1690]

"We'll send highly intelligent and submisse people" what good news for the intelligence community

[@Mr_Jester980]

We bow to no master except to ourselves. We may be weak in terms of our physiology and such, but here's the thing: We are too stubborn to give up. We are too stubborn to lick the boots of our captors and most of all, we humans can hold grudges for as long as we breathe and live!

[@Crazylom]

Will of man is stronger than Gods his mind creates

[@alganhar1]

Tell that to all the indigenous peoples all but wiped out by Colonists over the Centuries. Stubbornness means fuck all against overwhelming technology. No matter what any Sci Fi Author says.

[@WorldWalker128]

And grudges can be passed down from generation to generation for CENTURIES.

[@pavelZhd]

Fun fact: If you double a creature in size proportionally across all dimensions, it's mass will increase by a factor of 8, while the tensile strength of bones (or whatever it uses for holding its shape and not being a lump of meat) only increases by a factor of 4. One conclusion we can draw from this is species evolving on high-g worlds would likely be smaller ones. And the species from low-g worlds might get bigger.

[@SuperAlexfarmer]

That was what I was going for when describing the aliens in story 2

[@alganhar1]

Atmospheric pressure also plays a role, but yes, more or less correct, at least given our understanding of the science involved at this current time.

[@elmodelo101]

That is the reason why whales are so big, while the gravity is the same, the water gives buoyancy which counter some gravity force.

[@alfredsutton4412]

Good physics! Maybe titanium instead of calcium carbonate for bones.

[@KarakTo]

​@@SuperAlexfarmer you're the author? It was good! More from that universe, please!

[@Mad_Overseer]

FTA Story 1: I was expecting that story 2: I cant yawn at will so I probably would have caused many misunderstandings

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@orangedragonn4173]

You just gotta fake a yawn!

[@Southern_Crusader]

I am Alpharius. Execute Order 66. The Lannister’s send their regards. Take your pick, Man kind doesn’t mess around.

[@mfree80286]

ManUnkind

[@involuntaryanalysis]

You're forgetting "Terminate with extreme prejudice" "Rip and tear" "Retreat, hell" and, one of my personal favorites "busting out various crates of FUCK YOU, in all available directions"

[@neenm4299]

Considering how often I yawn with my teeth bared, I'd be horrifying this creature deeply.

[@basrengangetch.2042]

*AGGRESSIVILY RESPECT YOU*

[@calvingreene90]

Alien. You must give us some of your people as slaves. Human. When do you want our Expeditionary Force delivered?

[@involuntaryanalysis]

Alien: WHAT? humans: what?

[@sitirabihahmaisarahreni4278]

The first story was expected. We really don't like slavery.

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@Southern_Crusader]

We love fighting it though.

[@basrengangetch.2042]

@@Southern_Crusader eh, we would fight for pretty much anything really

[@RainbowDevourer]

Oh but we most certainly do, both historically and currently. It is mostly a modern western sensibility to be adverse to slavery.

[@alganhar1]

@@Southern_Crusader So why did the British essentially have to bully most of the rest of the world into its war against slavery during the 19th Century? And I am not joking there.

[@StarSong936]

I like this series. I have had many non-human friends. Cats, dogs, chickens, turkeys, mudskippers, betas, snakes, spiders, opossums, and others. Given sufficient time, we could become extinct, and some other species could take our place. It is impossible to say which would take our place, but I have taken my fish for a walk. I have hung out on my bed with a snake laying on top of me, the cats have adopted me to keep my home pest free, a spider has lived behind my bedroom curtain and kept me from harm by catching wasps and other creatures. I gave them space, fed them as necessary (if you adopt a pet you are responsible for their upkeep) and so, I am not blameless, but also they have been my friends/pets. Given the difference in our intelligence, it might be that I have helped them. It could also be I have held them back. Only time will tell. I would hate if some alien species wiped us out for being dangerous. If they did that, they would also wipe out many innocent lives and change the course of their development. If that were to happen, I would be very sad. Not that I expect to live that long, but if I know about it, that would be bad.

[@Someguy_9]

...this entire post is oddly ominous. I approve.

[@dulizardglasses3170]

The aliens: are slaves we rebelling and are empire is collapsing Hitler: first time?

[@AWR271]

Nazis didn't take slaves. They forced POWs (general term) into either hard labour or extermination camps then the fact that Nazi Germany wasn't a empire during WW2 nor was it referred to as an empire(The Nazis saw it as an empire but the rest of the world did not). From my point of view what you wrote means you know very little about history. If you wanted a better example then it would have been. Aliens: the slaves are rebelling and our empire is on the verge of collapse. Emperor Romulus Augustulus: First time?

[@dulizardglasses3170]

@@AWR271 I say that as they were used for slave like labor quiet often

[@joseph1150]

@@AWR271 no, the Nazis did enslave civilians. The exterminations camps were for those that weren't of use in the labor camps. And this included their own ethnic and religious minorities. About 12 million were abducted and forced into slavery, and these weren't all POWs.

[@KarakTo]

​@@AWR271 are you saying that the Nazis paid those they forced into hard labor? Because otherwise, that's exactly what slavery is.

[@badjer4328]

A suite like that would be interesting to wear on earth as a means of passively working out

[@SuperAlexfarmer]

I like the sound of it

[@WorldWalker128]

People seem to use 'grin' and 'smile' interchangeably these days. I'd always thought of a smile only involving lip movement, whereas a grin involved showing a bit of teeth, and a wide-grin (sometimes called predatory) most of your teeth and eyebrow angling.

[@davidhenderson3400]

15 million then another 15 million and then 25 million. They were being invaded and did not even realize it.

[@donnellebarfield3964]

We didn't even defeat the aliens with force we just destroyed they industrial power and let them stave to death

[@Mr_Jester980]

Your enemies can't attack you if they're already dead 👉😎

[@donnellebarfield3964]

They already blew up earth its a pryrahhic Victory at best

[@burnerheinz]

@@donnellebarfield3964 Doesn't matter if it's an inch or a mile Winning is wining especially if it's not the battle but the war.

[@c.d.mcclendon1264]

Story 1: Give the people what they want and they'll never see you coming...

[@Iskelderon]

Wait until the guy in the second story find out that we like to enhance spacesuits suits using artificial muscles.

[@speakingwithoutnet]

Fantastic narrating as usual. You did a great job with my story.

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed , thank you for the permission

[@merlinathrawes746]

Humans are old hands at fifth column work. In this case the aliens ENCOURAGED us to take over and run their governmental, economic and military systems. Oops! I hit my head on the ceiling and the damage to the ceiling was expensive to repair. My head hurt for the next day. No big deal. And the alien behind the metal partition window cringes.

[@bradwolf07]

O love how humanity played the long game and utterly devastated the species without them ever suspecting anything until it was too late...On the other hand, are lawyers actually human? I'm not so sure

[@henrypaleveda7760]

Agro Squirrel, I did enjoy this story, thank you for reading it.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@bogustoast22none25]

This was wholesome.

[@SiegeTF]

Stories like the second one makes me wonder why none of the Earthrealm forces ever tried trading Earthrealm meat for Kai'tin (probably not how you spell the bug people's name) silk... and soldier organisms.

[@SiegeTF]

Kung Lao: "I propose trading our meat for your people's silk." D'vora: "And how many Earthrealmers are you willing to sacrifice?" Kung Lao: "On second thought... Nevermind!"

[@calvingreene90]

Humans cheerfully grovel at the feet of those they are plotting against.

[@SuperAlexfarmer]

FTA. Thanks for reading my space pajama story.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm a pleasure

[@varietywiarrior]

Don't fuck with a human's freedom.

[@kurtismiller9544]

Big, BIG smile at the end.... LoL

[@brianisgett1095]

1st

[@SuperAlexfarmer]

Good marketing

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

This reminds me of a very old story from Analog Science Fiction, whi had the same premise And ended with the phrase "Never enslave someone smarter than you"

[@holy_crusaderoftheholyland4713]

Hmm what if orks was also in space?

[@brianisgett1095]

1st

[@Warrior-Of-Virtue]

Behold...Space Orcs. m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/nWe1Y6Vvqqd0apI

[@Southern_Crusader]

Then… *WAAAAAAAAAGH!!!* (40k reference.)

[@platinumchromee3191]

Lots of krumpin' and dakka because green is bestest

[@erushi5503]

an economic order 66

[@johnro5650]

I am ripper tearer slasher gouger I am the teeth in the darkness the talons in the night mine is strength and lust and power I AM HUMAN

[@Lord_Azrekahl]

FOR THE ALMIGHTY ALGORITHM...and all that youtube comf...?

[@Shinobubu]

How to get 15 million spies into your territory. The Speed run.

[@xaviermantha63]

Thanks for the stories.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@matfhju]

Hove did I just know thst the first story wuld end in a decapitstion strike against the Allen goverment?

[@klappstock943]

For the story the Algorithm and the voice

[@yomogami4561]

i enjoyed the stories great narration

[@marvinjohnson2488]

For the algorithm, 2nd to comment.

[@brianisgett1095]

1st

[@bonnieconnoster8590]

Im 2nd to comment on the 2nd comment

[@calvingreene90]

If you want to know how many enemies you have first count your slaves.

[@Monster_Ink]

For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@okierebel3278]

First story. Janissaries

[@micanikko]

wow am i glad to catch this at 3am lolol

[@theempiredidnothingwrong4937]

Pov you are watching the premiere good job

[@AgroSquerril]

i try to be there for as many as i can

[@brianisgett1095]

2nd

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@AgroSquerril]

Kept going

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

For the Squerril

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@ironworksdragon6843]

Bob the dragon

[@macpurdy]

For the Algorithm.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@shatteredabby964]

FTA

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@merlinwizard1000]

203rd, 18 December 2023

[@FedralBI]

F.T.A

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@sparkycat3068]

[@brianisgett1095]

13th

[@ZeroChance21156]

fuck! am late

[@TS-bj8my]

For the algorithm!

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm