Best SciFi Storytime 1496 - Human Babysitter & Human Death | HFY | Humans Are Space Orcs

Original Story :
/ babysitter
/ human_death
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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:23 Human Babysitter
06:42 Human Death
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #SciFi
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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[@emmetcoyne6436]

"ONLY IN DEATH DOES DUTY END!" - Mary the Babysitter

[@DepressedCrow]

"Even in death I still serve." -mary after getting her consciousness put in a robot body

[@dantreadwell7421]

@@DepressedCrow thank you, was making sure someone said it.

[@locomastero]

That gave me a good chuckle, thank you lol

[@macshadow1150]

@@DepressedCrow And after she died for the second time... she was ressurected as Living Saint!

[@hrushikeshsawant6193]

Tech priest in background singing hyms to mechine god

[@jimdemertzim1]

I can already see the galaxy wide news about a human babysitter, later known as Jackie Chan who destroyed an entire armada while carrying a baby around and claiming he did not want no trouble.

[@alexrash7509]

For real. If a normal human can do this, Jackie Chan would be a one man extermination force. Immediate surrender would be issued if an enemy was to recognize him.

[@Nyghtking]

I would watch that movie.

[@asdrubaelvect8038]

This is a beautiful mental image

[@xavierzaxavier5873]

omg i can imagine that as jackie accidentally stop alien invasion while babysitting.....then he become hero

[@Theminecraftian772]

Agro has already done a reading of this story. I don't remember what it's called, but it's there.

[@BlueStarr86]

"And they keep punching me in the face. It's very annoying. Some of them have a hell of a right hook."- Human Death.

[@TheLastGarou]

"Remind me to tell you about Desmond Doss some time. THAT one would have had you fools running in five minutes." - Human Death

[@TheAKgunner]

“And don’t get me started on Adrian Carton de Wiart! It took me almost two dozen attempts before I finally claimed him! And even in his eighties, I had to wait until he fell asleep so he wouldn’t fight me! Unkillable Soldier indeed!”

[@4eversight781]

“Oh and this guy Rasputin. Yeah that a**hole wouldn’t even die by bullet in the head or by frost burn. Only drowning did. Seriously wtf

[@erushi5503]

@@TheAKgunner "theres also that Rasputin guy, no matter how many times we kill him, he just stands back up like it was nothing, but dont ever mention that british queen, shes something else, and she scares me" Human Death now trembling from remembering that time when Elizabeth saw her and smiled while inviting him for tea

[@njnjco]

@@erushi5503 That didn't age well.

[@dirkbastiaandejong997]

"Stay in here, ill keep you safe" * closes door, doom soundtrack starts playing *

[@aaronsouthard8366]

When E1M1, Rip and Tear, and the only thing they fear is you is played on loop Sounds appropriately.... Human

[@jeffjag2691]

It’s Twister, but the babysitter is the tornado.

[@jordanbryan2612]

yeah, the doom music plays on repeat for 3 f*cking days

[@AlanMyronPrivate]

Epic

[@mrmastaofdesasta6994]

"How can you strike fear like that?" "Why would I need to strike fear? I will come for them regardless of their opinion about that. I am their final destination, their fear does not matter to me. You all are so weak that you concern yourself with the beings that should be far below you." That's kind of what I expected as the answer. In The Magnus Archives, there are a number of entities that represent different kinds of fears, fighting for supremacy in the world. Except the fear of the "End". Because everything will eventually die and return to it, the End does not see a reason to interfere just to quicken the process. This is the kind of untouchable power and mindset a being like Death should hold.

[@peterwall8191]

They tried to harm children in the charge of a human female? What about ,Do Not Fuck With The Apes ,was unclear? Disturbing to think others fear blind natural forces.

[@jameshenderson4094]

Very few natural disasters can overcome the best of human engineering and ingenuity. So of course death must be just as clever.

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Humans will protect children, no matter the species, with our lives if needed. Death is mankind's oldest friend, it would make sense for him to take the form of a human. After all, we are the most dangerous being to our own kind.

[@DepressedCrow]

only a human can truly kill a human

[@theenderdestruction2362]

@@DepressedCrow even that ain't a 100% guaranteed deal

[@britishneko3906]

​@@theenderdestruction2362 tru

[@elgranmanco8201]

​@@britishneko3906 Human stupidity would count?

[@britishneko3906]

@@elgranmanco8201 yes

[@silvadelshaladin]

Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Whoever sent more pirates after the human to die worthless and profitless deaths after the first/second/third group of pirates succumbed deserves to be handed over to the human's mercy with an "I am an idiot" t-shirt.

[@randolphphillips3104]

Maybe not. They had a focal point of overwhelming force guarding something. A pirate might well assume it was worth taking if the locals thought it worthy of such defense. The idiocy was sending too small a force. She may have indirectly saved hundreds or thousands by drawing the pirates away.

[@silvadelshaladin]

@@randolphphillips3104 More pirates is NOT the answer. Firing ships guns at it, or using bombs, completely demolishing everything that isn't fortified (she was guarding a fortified bunker) could have been. And she most certainly saved a lot of lives by being there.

[@randolphphillips3104]

@@silvadelshaladin Pirates are not there to defeat an enemy, so not only would bombardment be counter productive, they may not even have those resources. They have no idea if or how fortified the "treasure" is, and they want the "treasure" intact.

[@evernewb2073]

I mean, you ain't exactly wrong but I still feel the pedantic need to point out that 1: that is a quote from a tv show and in no way the actual definition of insanity and 2: "insanity" is, weirdly enough, a purely legal classification and has at no point ever had an actual medical definition...which makes psychologists/psychiatrists/etc declaring people insane "in their professional opinion" a mite bit odd neh? and for once that _isn't_ just a tv trope.

[@randolphphillips3104]

@@evernewb2073 It is actually an Einstein quote.

[@lancekostecka368]

I liked both but the Death one started to give me chills. I always find it interesting in these stories when human death is brought up. I wonder once we do go to the stars and meet new beings if stories like these will be true or not. Got to love the human imagination.

[@ashanks7731]

did you see the one where each race has a patron "god" and death is ours?

[@lancekostecka368]

@@ashanks7731 I dont think so. I did see the one where one alien race fought wars by making imagery constructs. And humans literally made the Reaper become real.

[@ashanks7731]

@@lancekostecka368 kzbin.info/www/bejne/eHurZn2fbKatmZo

[@mrpizzacat8273]

@@lancekostecka368 link please, @A Shanks link please aswell. I love death stories

[@lancekostecka368]

@@mrpizzacat8273 Here is the one i was talking about kzbin.info/www/bejne/iqaUoYiYh7SMeZY

[@britishneko3906]

death is a chill guy he is a farmer he waits and waits and when it is ripe he takes it

[@mugenokami2201]

What hope does the harvest have if not for the reaper man?

[@asdrubaelvect8038]

The only thing that would really take the cake is if the human marine light colonel showed up, patted the kids on the head and told them they would be making the people that hurt Mary go away now.

[@britishneko3906]

I smell .50 BMG

[@theconvictedquokka]

​@@britishneko3906 not just 50 but the yes Arsenal... What are we using ... Yes

[@britishneko3906]

@@theconvictedquokka Arsenal Birb

[@Jason-sm4oc]

So... the pirates met a Human female and decided it would be a good idea to try and take her charges away from her... did they not realise after the first few deaths that things weren't going their way? After a hundred deaths? Two hundred? Three? The lesson here is that although the males of the Human species are trained for war, when it comes to protecting children, the female is by far the deadliest of the species.

[@itsmootdamnitnotmute905]

I doubt aliens would understand, let alone heed Kipling's warning. Hell, it was written for the male of OUR species, and despite that, most of US still don't get it....

[@thebiggorp1623]

Really you had to make this a competition about gender? The lesson is humans regardless of reward will die for the sake of protecting children

[@justsomeguywatchingyoutube8104]

@@thebiggorp1623 I think what he was saying that aliens shouldn't fuck with a child near a human especially one that is a mother or father

[@Allantitan]

@@justsomeguywatchingyoutube8104who says they didn’t give up after they had already awakened the humans inner rage? 😈

[@Inufan2005]

I do love these ones about Death, he really needs more credit. We wouldn't be Deathworlders without him.

[@britishneko3906]

deth is chill guy -Terrans

[@dravenrogers7040]

Me: thinking how ridiculous story is about babysitter fighting a near endless killer horde Then me remembering: every single horror movie with a babysitter as the final girl

[@Gilhelmi]

Babysitting became very profitable for humans. Great line.

[@ryguy9876]

Honestly, I think Discworld Death would have been just as fitting, just as scary, and equally as funny.

[@sullyjebs4039]

GNU Terry Pratchett

[@douglasmcneil8413]

Never EVER mess with the babysitter.

[@kurtismiller9544]

We ARE our own death 💀! We pillagers, plunderers of the earth and each other. We can and have survived all those others, beaten them, but it always comes back to us Reaping ourselves.

[@Gilhelmi]

I do not fear tornadoes, I have a basement and a mattress. I do not fear earthquakes, I know how to handle and survive. I do not fear Hurricanes, they are just slightly large Tornadoes (at least you know where they will hit. Wussy Floridians) I only fear man, they are the only truly dangerous thing to me.

[@Type_blazenil]

What did we learn? Don't mess with human kids *Slap* Don't mess with kids with humans? *Slap* HUMANS ARE TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS!

[@Comqromized-Greg]

The thing that kills most humans, Me without skipping a beat: *Taxes*

[@midgefidget5796]

And now I have to watch that movie again. "Adventures in Babysitting"

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

What could be the ultimate death for humans? Statistically speaking, disease kills most of us, but our figure for death is an Idea that has spread to all regions, for its simplicity is its terror; a "grim reaper". You see, back in the early days of farming, a Farmer's Scythe was used to cut large swaths of grain, and apparently, the idea of cutting the grainstalks so unsentimentally led to a metaphor about death; That Death comes for us all, no matter how good or bad we are, no matter how many things we still want to do, death comes for us all, as unsentimental as a reaper of grain; A Reaper of Souls, slicing his scythe to sever you from your life once it's time, The Grim Reaper, a total lack of sentiment as he reaps souls as if they were stalks of grain, the time for their reaping determined. Apparently, the idea caught on.

[@texmex8220]

Couldn't be a more fitting image if you ask me.

[@scotteggert9820]

The pirates attacked a babysitter, a HUMAN babysitter. Just what did they think was going to happen? They would get cookies and cream? No, they got Pain! So much PAIN that even death couldn't ease it. The Death of Humans, ... IT does have a rough job. Natural disasters? we just brush ourselves off and start over. We are the species that said: We are not your prey you are OUR PREY to every predator in our world. Gravity? We fight that every day just to stand and walk and then bend it to our needs and wants. As for death? Of course, we fight it. The saying is: NO! Do not go gently into that long night. We are HUMANS we fight everything just because we can.

[@dkbros1592]

It's called motherly and fatherly instincts

[@mugenokami2201]

Parental

[@xanmontes8715]

I was home alone and I let out the loudest "FEK YEAH!!" when Mary went full 'DOOM eternal'.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@dantreadwell7421]

Entropy, huh? Reminds me of the story about entropy and how humans told it to feck off.

[@thugyheadbanger]

Spite is eternal

[@RGG88]

That first story made me cry a little.

[@lupenngrimpaw936]

I love these Death stories. Don't rightly know why. But I do.

[@kloki666]

Mary had a little hand grenade

[@thugyheadbanger]

Short queens can turn into a demon slayer warlord if threatened 😅

[@IRMentat]

as another story one said "For all things cute and fluffy!". count's double for their kids, anti-pirate armada supplied at no expense no doubt.

[@virtualatheist]

Cute baby space otters!!!

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhythm that is Algo Story 1: That's a hecukva pirate raid! Story 2: The Grim Reaper knows what's up

[@SpiritWolf1966]

I enjoy all of Agro Squirrel Narrates videos

[@Gilhelmi]

Ohhh. I just had a "good" idea (probably a lot of work though.) Make one video that has all of the human death stories. And when new ones come up, create a playlist.

[@wyrmhand]

Have You made a playlist yet?

[@Gilhelmi]

​@@wyrmhandI have been working on it......... but there are over 2400 videos. I have a short list of around 7-10 videos, but I remember stories that I have not found the video for.

[@nrobert576]

The babysitter story was amazing. We are death for the ones to hurt children.

[@volk551]

I think revised version would be a mosquito because mosquitoes technically kill the most amount of humans

[@Lorkanthal]

well if you want to get technical then it would actually be viruses doing the actual killing and not the mosquitoes which are only carriers.

[@randolphphillips3104]

The story didn't say Death takes the form of what kills the most, it is the form of what scares us the most. The comment about what kills the most was speculation among the other deaths as to what he would be, assuming we would be most afraid of what kills the most of (like their species is).

[@amirschaffer9122]

@@randolphphillips3104 i didn't think abute it like that Its a good analysis

[@terrydelorme]

I have enjoyed Story time. Continue your efforts, good sir.

[@zman0001000]

Talk about Adventures in Babysitting

[@KroMagnum4]

The BS takes no BS😎

[@i2gsurgeon525]

Wow, that was amazing! Thanks mate.

[@AlanMyronPrivate]

Only a human can take a human. Damn right!

[@merlinathrawes746]

We protect those in our charge. Come after them to your own peril. Death eventually comes to all, but that doesn't mean we all go easy, especially when we still have loved ones to protect.

[@Darkwintre]

Now I'm crying.

[@johncochran8497]

Getting the impression of River Tam in Serenity when she took on the Reavers.... Except River Tam is 5'6" and Mary is 4'11"....

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@angrydragonslayer]

Neat

[@lanceknowlton1871]

Where is your friend? He usually is here by now. Oh yes very Neat

[@angrydragonslayer]

@@lanceknowlton1871 he's usually an hour early or a 3-4 late, dw

[@Ryu_D]

Thank you for the video.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@Totally-a-girl-and-not-mothman]

Humans will do anything to protect kids

[@SpitfiretheCat16]

Good thing they didn't hire Samara Weaving.

[@tekhara]

Story 1: And Mary laughed that she never thought she would re-ignite the legend of Mary Poppins. The Galaxy asked for more details. And things were never the same ever again. Story 2: yes, you are Deaths that instill fear into your subjects. The forces of destruction. I am a Death that is unassuming and inevitable, and even more terrifying for that. But I am also one who is occasionally met with a smile and open arms, like an old friend.

[@losthero0]

I can imagine the babysitter being led through a facility by the military, only to turn the corner and enter a room with over a thousands Marines, she's asked to stand at the center of the stage. Commanders pivot towards their troops and order a salute, she feels tears welling up inside of her but tries her best to keep them down. She doesn't know what the proper thing to do in this situation is so she places her right hand across her chest over her heart, and gives a deep bow for a few seconds before rising again. The commanders judge her favorably in their heads, rotate back to their troops, order for the salute to be cut and placed at ease. It is a sight she will hold with her for the rest of her life. As she is led off the stage, she is told that every single Marine in that formation will be part of the punitive force sent to push those who caused her harm. All she can do is give a wide grin and wish every single one of them a quick deployment and to be back home soon.

[@scullcrusher3981]

May mata-nui guide you through the algorithm

[@najroe]

good narration, as always, now some extra text as sacrifice for the AlGoRiIThM and the hope that you will gife us more stories

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@thunderbird4636]

For the algorithm!

[@cazador7131]

Yeah, never get between women and children under their care.

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@bf-696]

Very noice.

[@lucassevey5989]

One thing that will get anyone to hulk the fuck out is if you try to hurt the kids

[@aaroncalvert3524]

Am I really the first? the premiere just started.

[@readhistory2023]

Teach the Vorlons & Shadows well.

[@BeeKisses]

Shiet, only us awake apparently 😅

[@kylemackinnon6230]

Literally just finished a tale of humans death stoked for this one

[@gentlerain8537]

Pay no attention to the relics, artifacts or any factual proof… & you can be the First to ….

[@AnikaJarlsdottr]

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

[@stevenswitzer5154]

What is responsible for killing the most humans you ask? Mosquitoes

[@zacharyhawley1693]

Don't forget Vending Machines take 15 people a year.

[@peterwall8191]

*Steven Switzer* Viruses actually. I don't recall who holds the honour, but its definitely a virus.

[@BrazenBard]

@@zacharyhawley1693 And cows kill more people than sharks annually.

[@zacharyhawley1693]

@@BrazenBard 22-30 people a year.

[@savage99k]

@@zacharyhawley1693 oh no there getting bolder

[@blankrealist8872]

Pog

[@Sakky_wakky]

Early! Gogogo!

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@Kirsten2933]

like 466.

[@conradrolla]

2yr mark thouchig base!

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.

[@taetannim3581]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Ryvaken]

Wrong horseman, pale horse. That's war. He doesn't kill as many as pestilence.

[@mugenokami2201]

Red horse is war

[@SuperFanFiction]

"Only a human can take a human." Explain the natural disasters that happened prior that took COUNTLESS LIVES?! Thought so...

[@carlosdgutierrez6570]

It is figuratively, he meant our spirits and will to fight, only a human can truly demoralize another human enough to walk into the night. Natural disasters, diseases, etc.? We see those as challenges to be conquered, problems to be solved even ir they kill millions but when another human makes you live thorough hell on earth, like the death camps of the nazis, soviets and others, then the human spirit of keep going can be killed. Only a human can kill another's human survival spirit.

[@mugenokami2201]

Those might kill humans might

[@beingsneaky]

basically the other death are a servant of human death.. Hey tsunami droned that village for me. Volcano, Pompey needs to go.... that human is going to die from a fall, so gravity you are up...

[@DamonCummings-yg7ds]

Human death forgive those young ones they know not their true power is that they are Inevitable why fear what will always be

[@markpugliese6013]

So instead of hiding in the bunker as had been outlined for the specific event of pirates, Mary provoked the pirates, resulting in the destruction of the property and killed 300+ sentients in the process? Why is that grounds for praise?

[@hanzzel6086]

Because that first part would have happened anyway. And so would the second part, just a little more delayed.

[@arandomsystemglitch2398]

You lot all are something imobile that can be stopped quite easily but me i need no molten rock water to completely take air from some one i need not crush a person with extreme gravity throw them around using wind itself because whats more feared then not knowing whats beyond death whats out in the world all i need is to look like what they assume i look like because they fear true death that not even you lot can compare too you all are physical death that can be seen avoided me i have no true form i come and go where i please and do as i please - human death in a few words has said all this

[@lordpfeiffer8490]

If 90 men died it ain't worth it.

[@hanzzel6086]

Yes, but think of the loot! And the fact that there is now fewer people who want it!

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@anilin6353]

For the algorithm

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm