Fear and a Human Bureaucrat by Thomas Ray Mainstone | Humans are Space Orcs | HFY | TFOS1190

[@emmetcoyne6436]

Humans Our artists will take your heart Our scientists will take your imagination Our leaders will take your trust Our warriors will take your life Our bureaucrats will take the rest

[@angrydragonslayer]

And we no longer have lawyers as they were ruled inhumane

[@TheAussief1]

And the Ombudsman put the FEAR into all.

[@taitano12]

@@TheAussief1 Ah, yes. 🧐 The bureaucrat that bureaucrats are scared of. 😱

[@Stranger-us6mo]

Don’t forget the lawyers

[@taitano12]

@@Stranger-us6mo The bureaucracy's watchdog. Purveyors of red tape.

[@GrimpakTheMook]

Even the Joker knows it's madness to go against the IRS.

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@DepressedCrow]

he's crazy, not stupid

[@89Keith]

@@DepressedCrow no insanity plea allowed for tax evasion charges

[@DepressedCrow]

@@89Keith exactly, he KNOWS that he can't plead insanity so he pays regardless

[@grogvaughan5649]

​@@DepressedCrow my shrink hates it when I say that. Lmmfao

[@greenrena8503]

"I may be crazy, but I'm not fucking with the IRS!" -Joker

[@steveradroach9101]

Then proceed to get fucked by the IRS because the money he inherited is fake 😅

[@nuru666]

I came here to make this comment. Kudos to you for beating me here.

[@raeishimura]

Ah yes, the favored tactics of the auditor. Tell you they will be there on a specific day, show up early to catch you in the act as you try to wipe your deeds, this adding even more to the punishment. Always works like a charm.

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@Warutteri]

Or if the local laws require you to actually arrive within the time window you provide and not ahead of time just give a long window and arrive a few days into the time period, not on the first day but just early enough that evidence of deletions etc remain but late enough that the target has been lulled into a false sense of security that you won't be arriving for some time yet 😉 That or if the laws allow (which most countries laws do for tax auditors) just arrive unannounced for a surprise audit before the target has time to delete anything 😈

[@jamescustodio3094]

@@Warutteri as a currently practicing revenue officer, your knowledge of our tactics is concerning. We would like to schedule an audit within the next month on all your personal finances.

[@jamescawl6904]

@@jamescustodio3094 I assume that Warutteri is now in crippling debt?

[@jamescustodio3094]

@@jamescawl6904 him and his assets have been liquidated.

[@TheLastGarou]

"I'm crazy enough to take on the Batman, but the IRS? Nooo~ *THANK* you!!!" - the Joker

[@DepressedCrow]

I've said it countless times in the past: The joker is crazy, not stupid

[@limboonsiew5552]

the thing that can bring the galaxy to its knees, It's A Bureaucrat, but not just any Bureaucrat, It's the IRS Bureaucrat

[@krel7160]

The Tax Man Cometh

[@AgroSquerril]

abandon all hope all ye .... no need to enter

[@danijelandroid]

Death and taxes.

[@shishoka]

I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

[@davidspinks7541]

Even Joker feared the IRS.

[@waynecampeau4566]

The only thing in the universes that strikes fear into the hearts of Terran Space Marines: The Interstellar Revenue Service. They have destroyed entire empires with the swipe of a pen!

[@DepressedCrow]

Dinkity Dank, you belong to the bank!

[@RealengoPrimordialDemon]

This story will give even the Joker a lot of shivers. I almost feel sorry for the xenos.

[@shishoka]

Hey, he said it himself. Wvwn he wouldn't take on the IRS.

[@willgallatin2802]

The one and only human worse than a lawyer, a tax collector. Still laughing my sides sore on this story.

[@Kualinar]

Well... The lawyers will soon follow the auditor.

[@traviscochran6280]

Ahh, the Tax accountant. He who brings down even the most powerful of organized criminals.

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@kleinjahr]

Yup, just ask old Scarface Al.

[@emmetcoyne6436]

@@kleinjahr His friends called him Snorky.

[@Angl0sax0nknight]

Two truths which you can’t escape, The heat death of the universe and the I R S…

[@robertbemis9800]

Although our corporations and billionaires are trying

[@rubencid2575]

@@robertbemis9800 and getting it

[@thomasmainstone9808]

It’s so cool to see a story make its journey from your pen to the mouth of a skilled narrator. This was truly fantastic! Excellent job Agro! :D

[@Donosauros_Rex]

nice story

[@westcoaststacker569]

DAMN I thought I was reading HFY!! not some horror reddit. Thank you for sharing your story with us!

[@bradyswanson1041]

Neat story, good to hear your voice! Glad you’re monetized again!

[@AgroSquerril]

Thank you

[@matthewklestinski7030]

A Phil Foglio reference, most excellent! "The Winslow has come." - Terror. For the Algorithm, for the Squerril that will *NOT* be demonetized!

[@masterblasterT47]

If the Joker, clown prince of crime fear the IRS then it seems reasonable for a xeno crime lord to do the same.

[@sbritton1313]

That was a funny line in that series... For before him there were those who didn't fear the IRS and they paid their back taxes with their lives...

[@nuru666]

Joker's no dumby, he saw what happened to Capone.

[@derekstein6193]

This brings up a pertinent point; why no horror tag on the video? There might be children or the feint of heart listening in.

[@robertschumacher2707]

A friend of mine got audited. He talked to his brother, a high-powered corporate tax lawyer. By the time the audit was done, the IRS owed HIM money...

[@Zminator1986]

What black magic is this?

[@robertschumacher2707]

@@Zminator1986 His bro does taxes for a fortune 500 company. Pretty much he knows every sneaky little loophole tax law possesses.

[@jaykbeem]

I'm glad they remonetized ya

[@soffren]

Let's hope it sticks. Please algorithm!!!

[@AgroSquerril]

thank you

[@cheeseninja1115]

These "criminals" need to learn from Al Capone and to pay your taxes or else they will throw the book at you, along with volume 2, 3, and 4

[@charnor2727]

I think your missing a few volumes, maybe a few dozen

[@thomaskelleyjr.1671]

Even the Joker knows not to mess with the IRS.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@kurtismiller9544]

Glad to see you're "back" skald, hopefully they've finished screwing with you and your livelyhood. Too bad the GIRS can't audit KZbin LoL!

[@AgroSquerril]

lol , would be awesome if they could and thank you

[@robertbemis9800]

Which is why corporate lobbyists have been defunding the IRS for decades

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

Trying to

[@robertbemis9800]

@@WE_DONT_LIE succeeding to for the last decade at least

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

@@robertbemis9800 no there just building how much they owe

[@doctorbright1065]

The Joker said it best. "I'm crazy enough to take on the Batman, but the IRS? NOOO THANK YOU!"

[@IronWarrior_69]

Ah shit the Space IRS

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@IronWarrior_69]

@@AgroSquerril NNNNOOOOO

[@davidteh3807]

I.R.S. in space ! Scary !

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

1:20 You say that, but black hole accretion disks are an extremely efficient means of turning matter to energy; dropping one cat in can power a city for centuries just by the light cast off due to absurde heat from friction. This means black hole accretion disks may potentially be the universe's last source of life, after all the stars burn out.

[@2ndbrain909]

Isn’t our galaxy supposed to collide with another galaxy? Wouldn’t that create more stars?

[@Malroth00Returns]

@@2ndbrain909 Yes and those stars will last from 3-50 billion years, black hole accretion disks can feasibly provide power for quintillions

[@2ndbrain909]

@@Malroth00Returns interesting, thank you for responding.

[@markuhler2664]

So as long as we don't run out of cats, we're good?

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@punkabooiscool1111]

Joker was scared of the IRS so she is to

[@santiagoperez5431]

Oh no!!! She is getting audited?!? Damn

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@santiagoperez5431]

@@AgroSquerril this reminds me of the episode of batman animated series where the joker gets audited at the end. IRS doesn't mess around.

[@santiagoperez5431]

That's the only thing the joker is afraid of

[@westcoaststacker569]

The Horrors: first I read stories of fighters and soldiers, Engineers and Scientists, then I read stories of Diplomats and Lawyers now the worst of the worst as I read one with an IRS Auditor!

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

OH DEAR GOD THEY SENT A BEUROCRAT.

[@AgroSquerril]

ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuun

[@UNSCrearadmiral]

As the Joker once said, not even I am crazy enough to go up against the IRS

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@shadowhenge7118]

Ill mess with that silly emperor all day long but the IRS!? No, no no!

[@Heidao623]

"Knock Knock, Space IRS~"

[@thedyingtitan1247]

Oh shit this is new

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@thedyingtitan1247]

@@AgroSquerril Holy shit didn't expect you to reply. lol

[@AgroSquerril]

@@thedyingtitan1247 lol most people dont

[@stavroskontargyris]

G-IRS didnt see that coming :D

[@Alleykat0166]

I live in the Purple Syndicate

[@aleisterlavey9716]

Death to the Purples! Violet forever!

[@eleethtahgra7182]

A function of deltree would suffice. A pity they arent operating on DOS.

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

That's a tautology.

[@klappstock943]

For the story the voice and the Algorithm

[@jeremydanchuk1897]

Even Capone went down due to the tax man

[@jorgecarreras4214]

Even Xenos fear the IRS!

[@AgroSquerril]

everyone does

[@justinhelland5258]

some Batman movie or so: Joker I am crazy but I'm not crazy enough to mess with the IRS This fits well

[@Groza_Dallocort]

I think it's from Batman TAS

[@angrydragonslayer]

Neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@ashleycroydon9743]

It was gonna be that word or sh@t or nuts 🤣🤣🤣😂😂

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@Calaban619]

F the algorithm The doom of many who think they were clever- an Early Auditor. Oh and the un-delete and un-shred departments. Whats more terrifying than a bureaucrat- is the odd little cypher-adept clerks that can look at a pile of shreds, and can still read the document. (Have we mentioned Human minds are terrifying?)

[@carminedesanto6746]

GIRS …..FECKED INDEED!

[@falseprophet1024]

We realeased the irs on the xenos? To stop corruption? Lol. I was expecting a mobster looking for a new partner. "Nice enterprise you have here. Would be a shame if something happened to it."

[@ckl9390]

Why didn't she keep two different accounting books for legitimate and illegitimate completely isolated from each other. That way, if things got bad, she could just bulk delete all the suspicious stuff (and overwrite it for good measure) in minutes without having to comb through the entirety of the accounts. Just like all the smart mobsters in the movies do?

[@charnor2727]

She never thought that something like this would happen

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Oh Diety! Human Accountants Are Coming

[@humanguyalsoperson7987]

Death OR taxes

[@demogod4955]

Never fuck around with the IRS you wont win

[@Da_Shark]

NOOOOOO WHY HAVE TAXES MADE IT TO SPACE

[@mrlee666]

In space, no one can hear you commit tax fraud… except the irs, no one escapes the irs…

[@EvilPaladin11]

Space female octopus Al Capone is about to be taken down by the space IRS.

[@dalemorgan8263]

I mean... It coulda been the Mafia...

[@haskellyoung3121]

She just got Caponed.

[@Kualinar]

An G-IRS auditor ? That's worst than an invasion and annihilation army. Much, MUCH worst ! Even IF Satuz had the time to delete everything that she wanted to delete, that wouldn't be nearly enough.

[@GrigoriZhukov]

She needs hug.

[@wilemelliott]

Fecking IRS...

[@scullcrusher3981]

Hi

[@AgroSquerril]

hey there

[@yomogami4561]

yep the irs has no sense of humor i doubt that has changed in the future

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.

[@markuhler2664]

Learn Al Capone's lesson, or repeat his mistakes.

[@windsorcorbin1005]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jacknomusanom9159]

Click

[@AgroSquerril]

click indeed

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@merlinwizard1000]

154th, 11 January 2024

[@ashleycroydon9743]

Universal reaction to being called before erasing evidence 🫡🤣🤣🤣

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@tristonanthony1146]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm