AITA Forced My Son To Use College Fund To Pay Back Child Support

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey you here?! 🧇🧇🧇🧇

[@sciencenerd218]

I AM!! I just had waffles for breakfast today too 🧇🧇🧇

[@bambi3001]

Ofc 🧇 🧇 keep up the good work!

[@SIRO_GLYDER]

Yee

[@justine8387]

🧇🧇🧇 here, dripping in syrup and buttery goodness.

[@paden1865able]

I'm here, fed the teen waffles and cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

[@kbf9644]

OP “I do not starve my kid of touch!” *describes all the affection she gives and doesn’t notice what she described, a hug, fist bumps, secret handshakes, are all things normal for a FRIEND of his, not his actual PARENT!*

[@AceofSnakes77]

2nd story: I'm autistic and I'm positive you're autistic and you need to get properly diagnosed. Detest physical contact and don't like eye contact are staples of it.

[@dwoktheraynejonsohn4849]

Except for the partner... which makes it really sketchy

[@themenagerie5247]

@@dwoktheraynejonsohn4849 nope I’m on the spectrum and only allow 3 friends to touch me.

[@patriciaeaton-salter9526]

Exactly what I thought when I heard the story

[@azadalamiq]

@@dwoktheraynejonsohn4849 not all people have the same ticks, and you can "train" yourself to seem neurotypical. also men and women show/have autism differently due to hoew different male and female brains develop. like my i do not do well with eye contact, but im a big time hugger.

[@AngelaMerici12]

@@themenagerie5247 I get it, but then what? Her kid is second class or something?? WTH. She is adult, she is not an autistic kid.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

The photographer brought this all down upon themselves. Bringing a kid, being so late is just not professional. And not delivering the agreed-upon number of photos? Screw that. They can keep the deposit and STFU.

[@StefenBruh]

"they were unprofessional but they did the job and took those photos". Literally doesn't matter, because 1. contract states 300 pictures, not 100, so right off the bat they already fucked the contract and do not deserve payment for wasting everyones time. 2. there is a non refundable deposit, which most likely has stipulations such as "If you are unsatisfied with the work you will not receive this money back". They photographer got paid via deposit since the party that contracted them was unsatisfied with the amount of work completed and the professionalism endured. That's like hiring a plumber to come fix your pipes and he does 1/3 of what he has to do and starts hitting on your wife. Are you going to pay him or tell him to get the fuck out?

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

Ok, she was unprofessional, sure, but why keep silent at the time? Even in your plumber example, you’re kicking the guy out of your house, not waiting until he sends you the bill to say, “nope, not paying.” The OP should have said, you’re late & your kid is here and we are angry. The OP even said she decided *right after* that she wasn’t paying. OP wanted to be petty, make the photographer work on the photos & send them before going, “haha! Sikes! You’re out of a payment! Haha!” Because OP was being petty, she’s the asshole. Also, she had to add an edit to say they were to get 300 pictures and only got 100... seems fishy, like OP got all YTA and was like, nooooo wait, here’s a *new* reason I’m not the asshole. Nonrefundable deposits are there for this exact reason. Also sounds like another excuse OP is using to try to get off the hook when they’re pretty standard operating procedures. OP is the asshole, a million percent.

[@deezvidz218]

@@tabathaalshalhoub1653 i disagree the photographer should have asked if she could bring the child plus Op had to cancel things they had planned i mean i would have tried to get the shoot done too since it was already so much hassle plus again she sent 100 pics not 300 so even if op had decided to still pay the photographer was kinda scamming her

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

@@deezvidz218 there was a lack of communication all around. The photographer should have rescheduled to begin with but the OP was being petty

[@0Jenna7]

I have touch issues, Aspergers here so eye contact is also really difficult, I'll cuddle with my hubby, and whatever children we have, (hopefully two) beyond that getting hugs out of me is fairly difficult. I'm bringing up the eye thing as well because of the face to face, cuddling thing. When hubby and I cuddle, we're usually not doing the staring lovingly into each other's eyes thing. I have this picture in my mind of us just sitting, essentially, in each other's laps with our kids attached to us as well. I mean seriously, how hurt must the son feel for seeing that? How jealous? "What's wrong with me that my mum won't even hug me?" When seeing her all cosy with some stranger.

[@AdmiralKakarot]

Story 1; Years ago, I caught my ex in our bed with another guy and promptly kicked her out, only to have her set my car on fire a week later. Reported her to the police and discovered after a few weeks of searching that she fled to BC, and were unable to bring her back to face charges. Mind you, this happened back in 2011. Roughly 3 months ago, she contacted me through messenger stating I owed her 9 years worth of child support, claiming she got pregnant with my child. I called her out, stating that there was no way it could have been mine as I made dutifully sure to use protection because we couldn't afford a child. What she did with the other guy, I don't know. I told her to prove it with a paternity test and she outright refused. Saying that she knows the kid is mine and demands I pay her roughly 50k. I told her to piss off, stating that if I had 50k, I would be in a little bit better situation financially. Not to mention I live in Texas now and she's still in BC and that courts would not allow this to proceed due to the fact that this kid was born in Canada and not the US. I made it known that I was willing to take a paternity test, but she was still not willing. I said fine. No paternity test, no money. I then brought up how she torched my car and she said I deserved it because I kicked her out. To which I responded that I kicked her out because she was in OUR bed with ANOTHER guy, going at it even after I walked in the door from work. But somehow I'm at fault. She called me an asshole and I blocked her after telling her she was a whore trying to scam me out of money. No, I'm not sorry I said that. She wants to drag my name through the mud for some bullshit she caused, she can struggle on her own. Karma is a bitch.

[@philwill0123]

Nice life story, but fail to see it related to story. You were merely accused of paternity. Josh had two tests and was proven.

[@AdmiralKakarot]

@@philwill0123 I must have missed that part. Fiance was talking to me.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

Yeah you are freely offering to take a paternity test in your case

[@commander8625]

@@philwill0123 You also have to remember that Josh ghosted before the birth. This allows for an inference that Josh didn't want the child, and I assume she knew beforehand. Eitherway, it was entirely her choice to have the baby on her own. This could be seen as scummy, but we don't know any motivations for sure, so I really don't think we can actually judge the story.

[@JP-eh4ee]

There are women who willingly pierce the condom they use. Also why is it Feminist claim their body their choice but the guys don't have a say in the matter? Where's the so called equality?

[@EvilCarrotSauce]

Unpopular opinion: I vote NTA for the engagement photo story. I would have at least requested a heavy discount if it were me.

[@deezvidz218]

Same it wasn't ops problem the photographer was unprofessional hell she could have called when the child care fell through and either ask to reschedule or if it would be ok to bring the kid. Op also had to cancel there plans due to the photographer being late. Not professional at all

[@Apathy293]

Story 3: How are people calling OP the asshole on this one? On top of the fact that the service they paid for is undeniably NOT the service they recieved (paid for professional service, received half-assed unprofessional service. Paid for a certain number of photos, recieved less than that number), the delay in time is a huge deal, especially since the location was important to them. If you hire a photographer for a certain time and place to, for example, catch the sunrise/sunset in the pictures, or at least make sure there is enough sunlight/moonlight to illuminate the background, showing up just several minutes late can throw that off. And to those who think they should have just canceled when the person didn't show up, obviously it's not that easy. By the time they canceled, contacted several other photographers, found one who was available that same day, and waited for them to arrive, it would have likely been several hours. And rescheduling for another day is not realistic for an engaged couple that has a million things to organize for their wedding. OP's initial reaction was completly reasonable and I can't imagine why they changed their mind or decided to pay a cent for such crappy service.

[@emilye5321]

Didnt OP say they put a deposit down too that was not refundable? Technically the photographer did get paid then but not the amount they wanted. She was unprofessional and also didnt hold up her end to the 300 pictures and was 2 hours late from schedule timing (being late and setting up). I don't think OP is the AH because they didnt receive what they were paying for with the contract that they agreed too. If she wants to pay for the 100 photos, good on her for being a good person. I don't see how people think she is the AH.

[@bgcorporation]

"We have secret handshakes" Oh ya, that makes things so much better.

[@SquamBleeds9816]

Quick, ignore every single one of the other ways she initiates contact with her child!

[@bgcorporation]

@@SquamBleeds9816 Hand holding, and secret handshakes is very different from a mother's hug. Especially when she rather hug someone else.

[@SquamBleeds9816]

@@bgcorporation She said she does hug him in the post tho

[@bgcorporation]

@@SquamBleeds9816 When he was a baby.

[@SquamBleeds9816]

@@bgcorporation Im pretty sure this was after since it was in the edit

[@randomaccount-dq1jq]

The wedding pictures everyone seems to skip they had paid a deposit already so they already have paid, the customer did not pay the full amount because the photographer did not do the full contract.

[@Arylwren1]

Story 3. Didn’t OP say they had a contact for 300 photos and only got 100? Since they didn't get what they were contracted for, they shouldn't have to pay

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

And they did pay- non-refundable deposit, remember?

[@Arylwren1]

@@LizLuvsCupcakes if the photographer failed to met their end of the deal, then all money should be refunded

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

@@Arylwren1 well yeah, but the point is they can’t complain they weren’t paid

[@kadycurrent160]

For Story 2. I feel the exact same way with affection! I do give out to friends and family, but in a limited about. If I give out too much affection for my comfort, I make it clear and become very uncomfortable if people want more. I understand that the person was giving all the affection and that was wrong. But I'm mad at how many people don't respect her feelings about affection. I too, like to give most of my affection to a boyfriend, ect.

[@terra_the_nightingale135]

I personally don’t blame her for not being able to have physical affection with most people, I get that, however she’s an asshole for showing so much towards her partner in front of her touch starved child. If anything, she should definitely get therapy and some for her son too, the issues that can happen there are way above the advice of Reddit

[@somedragonbastard]

I'm repulsed by physical touch. She needs to work on herself for her son's sake.

[@Nikki051480]

I’ve never understood why so many parents make excuses for their kids bad behavior/choices. It really does a disservice to the children. As a mother, I’m building an adult, I’m building someone’s wife, mother, neighbor, best friend...her mistakes and subsequent consequences are some of the best teaching moments I’ll ever get. Taking responsibility for our actions is such a huge part of life, these parents are setting their kids up for failure and it’s sad.

[@darkshadow5581]

Story 3 NTA. If you go to Mcdonalds for a large fry order, you wait an hour for it and get a small order of wonderful fries, your getting your dang refund. Prove you deleted it, move on. She was 2 hours late, had her kid interuppting wedding photos, then only gave you 1/3rd of what you were promised, how is refusing full payment an YTA?

[@jazz-cat00]

EXACTLY! it seems everyone is ignoring the "partial-product" portion of the story

[@TrulySilentLie]

@@jazz-cat00 Wasn't the partial product part added in an edit? That could explain why the commentors seem to ignore it

[@jazz-cat00]

@@TrulySilentLie I was thinking that too. It wouldn't make sense otherwise

[@glitter_smack016]

Let's not forget all of their afternoon plans had to be cancelled because of that too but I think they should have cancelled after waiting 30min to get a call saying they were an hour out. I understand if they felt pressured to let her just come out if it went along these lines: Them "hey you know what maybe we should reschedule or cancel?" Her "on no no no! Don't worry I will be right there and we will get these done great and in a snap! I promise these will be the best photos ever!" The pressure to let her come is the excuse I will give OP because I know how hard it is

[@josephinenelan4204]

Story One: Wish there was more info, and if the guy didn't use protection he was extremely foolish and 100% responsible. If she had a defective one or maliciously used the contents of one... I feel more sympathy for him, but if the dad doesn't want to ask... he needs to get over that and just ask. It'll make things clearer.

[@dimsufferer9951]

100% agree, more information is needed and OP needs to talk with his son about these things instead of assuming ”Oh, my kid is definitely being a dick”

[@zacharypegg790]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one thinking there wasn't nearly enough info. It's easy to frame these situations in such a way as to demonize the father, but accidental pregnancies happen even if protection is used, and if a condom breaks and the dude makes it clear he has no desire to have or care for a child before the birth, I can see how one would make the case that he shouldn't have to be involved. It definitely sounds like "Josh" handled the situation wrong, but it also sounds like we could be missing pertinent details.

[@JP-eh4ee]

True that, unfortunately I knew a friend who was baby trapped. She got caught because she decided to brag about it to her circle of friends in a private chat.

[@michaelmorris8302]

Another part of it if he asked for a termination and she decided she was going to go through with that it should be on her not him.

[@josephinenelan4204]

@@michaelmorris8302 Did you make it to 2:47? OP said Josh denied the baby was his when she first reached out in pregnancy. Josh ignored her... so, that doesn't sound like he even asked for a termination... He should have met with her in person and sorted it out, and if she baby trapped him that's still not cool. But to ignore something entirely is still foolish. I can ignore a bill, doesn't make it go away. Even if I was overcharged-I have to deal with sorting it out.

[@capriciousgaming9322]

Story 3: I was leaning heavy on ESH, up until the bit where OP says they had agreed on paying for 300 photos while the photographer only delivered 100. While yes, having a commission you don't pay upfront for is very rare and lucky, there was a deposit and an agreement for 300 photos, and the photographer only delivered 100. If this photographer can't even be bothered to do HALF of the work agreed upon, my answer changes rom ESH to NTA, but leaning very close to ESH.

[@kennarose783]

Story 3, NTA. They weren't provided with the service they were promised, a timely shoot and 300 photos. The photographer was late and only provided 100 photos. I wouldn't have paid either, beyond the deposit. Shorting them on the photos was the nail in the coffin for me.

[@karlab95]

For the child support story, if the son even suspected that the girl had tampered with birth control, you can bet he would've said so. The "she tricked me" would've been his first argument, I don't see why he wouldn't say it, unless he knew it was either truly an accident.

[@ravenvixen7903]

For anyone who is like OP in story 2, I dont know if this will help, but I thought I'd share it anyway. My dad is very much the same, can't stand hugging or anything at all. But when my brothers were born, he's made an effort to do so with them anyway, because he knows they won't learn to be affectionate if he doesn't show it. You don't have to like it yourself, but you could be making a major difference in your child's life growing up.

[@Roedygr]

BABY: Josh and Tina are each 50% responsible for creating the baby.

[@marywilson3157]

I call BS on the story about the college student having to pay child support. There is no court that would make a student with no job pay child support. And you can't sue for back child support if paternity and child support payments were never established in the first place! What a load of bull!

[@selimkarayl7823]

For his and his future's sake I hope so. Perhaps she might've used his parents to make him. I mean OP seems to be on board with child support stuff.

[@Cottontailart]

The mum that doesn’t hug deffo needs help, my ptsd stops me being overly cuddly but I do hug

[@courtneycherry113]

Agree but a good compromise would be to keep the pda with the boyfriend private or suck it up because your a mum.

[@paden1865able]

I was raised without physical affection after I was out of toddlerhood, but after my parents started therapy that changed. Then my mom died and it went back into the same as before, until a kid in the classroom I was in beat me up and slammed my head into a wall repeatedly when I was in third grade. My dad came out of his fog and never let a day go by without many hugs for all of his kids.

[@Cottontailart]

@@paden1865able sorry to hear that happened but I’m glad he’s got out his fog

[@XxUchihamistressxX]

I was heavily abused and I am on the spectrum. I cannot be touched at all most of the time because it'll trigger a panic attack and I'm generally in pain when touched but I still shower my boys in affection and love which means I barely have any stamina left over for my husband. I am in therapy mind you.

[@Cottontailart]

@@XxUchihamistressxX you are doing amazingly my fiancé is on the spectrum too and I’ve grown up with family on it and I totally understand how difficult it is

[@abrax1]

@ story 3: She was late; brought her child along, was unprofessional/rude; delivered only 1/3 of the pictures agreed upon......that bitch deserves some sort of punishment. A "just leave her a negative review" alone won't be enough. You can't know if that actually hurts her. Based on what was already paid with the deposit I'd only pay 1/3 of the price PLUS a further discount for the problems mentiones above. Not being late, being professionel and giving your customer 100% of the attention is also part of the service. And that was not provided.

[@EvilCarrotSauce]

I agreed on that too. I would have been so pissed if it was me.

[@HannaFardew]

Story 1: NTA. If josh is dead serious about not helping out then he needs to not only pay the 18 months of child support, but also needs to sign away his rights. I'm a child who grew up with split parents and it's no fun when both of them are constantly going to court over missed child support payments. My dad is basically like Josh, until my papa (dad's dad) forced him to man up. From experience, dads who never wanted to be dads won't ever pay child support and would resent the child. OP, you need to make josh sign away his parental rights, for your grandchild's sake. It's very hurtful to have to cut both parents out of your life and that is something the child should never have to do

[@Kell0800]

First story. Josh's behavior seems suspicious. He never asked for a paternity test, just ghosted her. I think he would let her bear the heaviest years of work in raising a child and once he gets the career, the job and the apartment, he would get in contact saying he never had the confirmation the child was his, but never truly let it go and now he is ready to be a dad. And the mother tries to say a word against it, all he has to do is claim parental alienation, because he never signed away parental rights, he just had doughts. And after all, it so cruel to keep a boy away from his dad.😥

[@commander8625]

What did I just read? I've said it so many times, but we can't actually judge anyone here. We don't know anyone's motives, feelings, backstory, views on abortion.We really need to know a lot more, and the OP isn't giving us anything. We can't judge anyone's character here. All we can say is that Josh didn't want the kid, but the lady birthed it anyway. This could be for some money, or it could be her emotions, or it could be her political views. WE DONT ACTUALLY KNOW. For that, OP is TA.

[@BiologicalClock]

For story 4, it's worth noting that those DNA tests are NOT as accurate as people think they are; people who know they are 100% definitely blood related have had tests come out with completely different results, and people who have requested those tests from more than one source have received different results as well. It's entirely possible judging from the mother's lifestyle that the child isn't a blood relative, but it's also possible that the DNA test is wrong.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

I'm glad you brought this up! Fun fact: It's not the tests that are faulty, but the DNA! Google Mosaicism/Chimerism and also look up the case of Lydia Fairchild in the UK. Scientists are unsure of how many people actually have some form of Mosaicism/Chimerism because it isn't something that is tested for and only causes noticeable symptoms in very rare cases. (For instance, the host body rejecting the "foreign" organ/DNA, visible Blaschko’s lines, etc.) Obviously, there are several types of Chimerism in humans, but the result is the same: Multiple DNA belonging to one body. However, if you're specifically referring to the regional aspect, then that too is more of an "error with humans" thing, but it's still not related to the test. People want to know where they "come from", however, the issue is that DNA doesn't know manmade land borders. Different haplogroups do exist and small changes in DNA based on migration and breeding do leave some small changes, however, the whole "Your ancestors are from France!" thing is largely based on a well-educated guess and probability. Obviously, not everything can be accounted for, and some of it is based on self-reporting, so really Regional DNA/Ancestral DNA tests should be treated like a slight upgrade to a horoscope; Fun to play around with, but don't treat it like it's the Alpha-Omega and base your life on it.

[@reptiles3244]

You miss the part where they said they had 2 tests taken and both came back positive

[@spiriteddefect5125]

I'd rather not be hugged instead of seeing and feeling how 'repulsed' they are when they 'force' themselves to hug me

[@chere100]

That's part of the rift I was concerned about. Also, from the parent side, they could become loath of their own child because of the negative feelings they're forced to endure. It could go horribly for both sides. The situation sucks, I feel bad for them. :(

[@salenebrom6476]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@justheretowatchtheworldbur6611]

This

[@zoey5400]

I know it take two to make a baby but both of them made a choice that changed their lives. The ex kept the baby and josh wants nothing to do with it and now child support If it was my son I would do nothing because it's not my place and will be his choice to pay it with his college fund not mine

[@ACCER]

FINALLY someone else who noticed that it's none of his parents business!

[@fabiocandelori9163]

But if he stays out of it, the son still has to either find a job or use his college fund. So exactly what OP wants. Soooo... Why would he be the AH for deciding to stay out of it?

[@fake-inafakerson8087]

" How would you react if your child's partner turned up pregnant?" Parents of cis-women: "Pretty confused"

[@beastly7106]

I'm going to pretend like I know what that means.

[@jazz-cat00]

@@beastly7106 Cisgender means that they identify with the gender they were assigned at birth basically. So if the child were trans or non-binary it would still count, but not for a woman

[@fake-inafakerson8087]

@@youraveragemusicart1491 Even if their partner also had a uterus, uterus's aren't known for impregnating each other

[@FF8Irvine_Fan]

@@jazz-cat00 You don't get "Assigned" a gender at birth. They look at your junk, and write it down. That's it.

[@Dualbladedscorpion7737]

@@FF8Irvine_Fan Exactly you werent assigned you are born with it.

[@songohan3321]

Story 2 is a combination of YTA and way above Reddits pay grade. Lady needs some counseling.

[@babablacksheep506]

2nd Story; Nurse here; limiting or out right denying physical contact (eg. hugging) with a small child can leave a lasting impression that may backfire when the child is older. And also the "I'm not sure as a 10 year old, he could understand..." Um yeah you'd be surprised what young children are capable of understanding. Never assume a child can't have things explained to them or simply not recognize things. Children are kept observant, and will notice things. Whether its positive or negative

[@asherael]

I'm gonna predict this one before watching. If the son OWES back child support for OPs grandkid, than, yes, he should pay that owed money before using it on himself. HOWEVER, if the parent means he is making the kid pay him back for the child support OP paid FOR THAT CHILD, he's a monster and a criminal. Lets see what happens, and if I stick to my guns....

[@linzi9814]

I'm exactly like OP in story 2. Because of my mother giving painfully crushing hugs, I hate physical contact most of the time but like OP, I have no problems with my husband. More if it's thrown at me unexpectedly. My daughter who is 8 is a cuddle monster and while it can make me uncomfortable, I hug/cuddle her whenever she wants it because I'm her mum, she needs that love and affection to feel safe and secure. OP needs to see a therapist because she does need help.

[@Ospyro3em]

As someone who thinks a hug is one of the nicest, warmest forms of physical contact, my heart breaks for that poor boy.

[@danacarter9147]

Me, too. When he has a kid (e.g., a daughter), he's gonna put her through the same ?#*$ that his mother's putting him through, his kid will find physical affection in all the wrong places, and it will just perpetuate a vicious cycle. Other than that, he's going to be mistrustful of women, and it's not going to be pretty.

[@tracyroyal6039]

For me hugs are one of the absolute worst things to experience. The feeling of being trapped, unable to escape, the way every hair on my body stands up and I just want to scream bloody murder even after being let go. The very thought makes my skin crawl. However despite this I make a effort to hug my nephews when they need it, just because I hate it doesn't mean they do. OP needs to find some balance that helps them and their child.

[@somedragonbastard]

You've obviously never been touch sensitive. I despise being touched by anyone but my parents and some of my friends, and most often, only if I initiate it. She has every goddamn right to not put herself through this. If I were that kid, I'd be more hurt by my mother being clearly uncomfortable hugging me than her not hugging me due to boundaries. He has physical affection from others. Don't act like she's some abuser.

[@CourtneyB1109]

Story 1. He can get a job so he can afford college and the baby

[@lenax9798]

Why does he have to fund a child she decides to keep?

[@CourtneyB1109]

@@lenax9798 he had unprotected sex with her. He did this to himself

[@lenax9798]

@@CourtneyB1109 it was never specified it was unprotected. Also mistake or no mistake, she choose to keep it. Her responsibility now

[@CourtneyB1109]

@@lenax9798 a baby is both peoples responsibility.

[@lenax9798]

@@CourtneyB1109 not if the dad doesn't want a child. If a mother has the right to abort a baby when not wanting a baby, he has the right to walk out and let her deal with her own oopsie-baby

[@Terestrasz]

Story 2.... I wish my dad was like that... I'm almost 32 and I *still* have to tell him "I do not like getting touched. If you want to hug? You need to *ask*."

[@victoriavogt1309]

This is why I will never have children. I don't want to give up my money, my time, and my bodily autonomy to a kid. No thanks. I can love a partner and my family, but I also feel rotten inside snuggling anyone other than my partner. I think we need to stop excepting people to just have kids and realize not everyone is suited so them. I know I would be a crappy mom, but how many other people would just have kids because that's what is expected of them.

[@ecos889]

Also we don't know if Josh even wanted the baby what if this lady was abusive to him. Also a lot of men in the USA have committed suicide because of child support one bad decision especially at 19 is not enough reason to pay child support to a child you did not consent too. While it takes two to tango it takes one person to cosent to keeping a child and one judge to force a man to pay too much that they can afford to cause them to go homeless

[@leighflorkevich9916]

NTA! I was in Tina's position when my son was born 45 years ago. I was 18 years old when I got pregnant by my first ever boyfriend, who I was head over heels in love with. I was very naive back then and believed my boyfriend would be supportive and would want our baby. However, as soon as I told him, he slowly started disappearing out of my life. He stopped taking my calls, wouldn't see me or talk to me. If there had been internet in those days, I guess you could say he ghosted me. Since he was a foreign college student, I couldn't track him down, so I had to take care of my son without child support. I worked and with my parents' support, we did fine. Why should Tina have to bear the brunt of the responsibility for the child? It took two to make this baby and both have to contribute to his upbringing!

[@nobodyimportant9603]

Leigh Florkevich she doesn’t have to bear it. She could’ve aborted or given the baby up for adoption. If you had a kid when you couldn’t provide for them, you’ve made a dumb choice.

[@leighflorkevich9916]

@@nobodyimportant9603 Do you hear yourself? SHE made a dumb choice to have a kid when SHE couldn't provide for them?! I honestly couldn't tell if you were referring to me or Tina or both in this reply. Last time I checked the guy had as much responsibility as the girl when it comes to making a baby. Both men in my comment left without any effort to take their share of the responsibility. In my case, my son turned out great. He's a college graduate, a police sargent, married to an RN with two beautiful kids. Glad I didn't abort him and lose my chance to have grandchildren because you see, he's my only child.

[@15oClock]

1. Josh needs to pay the child support himself, including the back payments. This is the consequence of his actions and he needs to understand that. 2. Person on the spectrum here. I know physical contact isn't that fun, but this is about a child, not OP. Kids need cuddles. 3. I don't think the photographer was being unprofessional on purpose. Just pay for the photos, include these negative details in the review and move on. 4. He's OP's son and that won't change in any way, shape or form after this. Lying just salts the wound and he needs to understand this himself.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

2nd Story: Yeah, it sounds like OP may be on the spectrum but is undiagnosed. She needs to seek professional help with this issue

[@ACCER]

Tramp made the decision to have the kid, it should be her responsibility. That is the consequence of her choices. Consent to sex is not consent to fatherhood.

[@ACCER]

@AYAH ASAD We aren't talking about dancing. Josh did not consent to being a parent. Tina did. Funny how when it comes to fatherhood suddenly women are not longer advocates of men needing to give affirmative consent....

[@Terestrasz]

STory 2: I'm the exception. I actually showed symptoms of being touch-starved when people would NOT leave me alone, and I used to kick when people would touch me. My bitch of a sister used to wind me up so I would get aggravated and mom and dad would drive me over the ledge (I was a toddler. Barely even sapient) so I would get in trouble.

[@edededdy739]

@@ACCER very simple from hence forth Josh and Alice will take sexual education, health and protection very seriously unless they want a repeat of this. She didn't make the baby alone, if not for Josh's ignorance and her foolishness all she would have gotten at the end of the month is a period like other girls.

[@kylethegamingwolfshark6261]

While we might not have the reason for why Josh ghosted Tina or what has happened even before this but I don't care if I get hate but story 1: YTA First off, op is forcing, yes forcing, Josh to be a father when Josh didn't want to be a father. Op is literally dooming this child to have a father that will absolutely hate them. Yes actions have consequences but that doesn't mean he should drop everything to be a father to a child he clearly doesn't want. Yes it takes two to tango but if a mother has the right to get an abortion and the father has no say in whether or not he wants to keep the child, then in situations like this the father should have every right to write away all his parental rights and not have to be in the child's life.

[@emanx222]

@vergorance this! Exactly this

[@feartheghus]

No one forced josh to be a father unless he was raped, if josh stuck it under her himself then he deals with the consequences, he made himself a father and he has no right to run out. I also don’t think a woman has the right to murder her kid to dodge motherhood either, no one, of either sex, should be allowed to commit horribly immoral acts of harm on others just to dodge the inconveniences they bring upon themselves, otherwise I should be allowed to steal all your money just because I lost mine to gambling and I don’t want to be inconvenienced.

[@DivisibleByWaffle]

Diabetes insipidus is pronounced just as it is spelled: "in-sip-id-us". It's a rare genetic disorder affecting the kidneys, causing excessive thirst and urination. It isn't a disorder of sugar metabolism like diabetes mellitus, and only shares the "diabetes" name because both insipidus and mellitus both affect urination. Hope this helps!

[@marlonmontelhiggins8570]

While I appreciate your comment (and I'm pretty sure that Mark would, also, considering his struggle to pronounce the word), I'll have to acknowledge that that's an issue with Modern English spelling: some words aren't pronounced how they're spelt (hence Mark's struggle). If it weren't such an issue with Modern English spelling, dyslexics wouldn't have such a problem with it, literature like this - www.i18nguy.com/chaos.html - would be outdated, and spelling reform would be out of the question. With many of the spelling reform proposals, especially the ones after the seventeenth century, falling through, I believe that to have a spelling reform, there needs to be a language reform. This shit needs to be sorted out once and for all. Pardon my rambling, but I just felt like expressing this.

[@DivisibleByWaffle]

@@marlonmontelhiggins8570 I certainly wasn't trying to be condescending! I work in the medical field as a scientist, and just thought that Mark (and others) might find the information about this disease interesting since he didn't appear to be familiar with it.

[@marlonmontelhiggins8570]

@@DivisibleByWaffle - I didn't think that you were being condescending. I genuinely do appreciate your comment, and have found it quite informative. (Sorry for the confusion.) I just felt like addressing the spelling-pronunciation problem in English here. Ever since I learned about English spelling reform and IPA in my English classes a while ago, and really thought about English spelling and pronunciation, it has irked the crap out of me.

[@smellyolegoat150]

Story 1: Phenomenal Parents, Sniveling Coward Son Story 2: Selfish Mother - Her issue is fine with everyone but her child. For her child’s sake she needs to buck up, and ether get over herself, or fake it until he’s much older.

[@mbyerly9680]

Friends and family have received untouched samples, not Photoshopped final images, of their weddings, and they chose from those the ones they wanted to be fixed and printed. I just looked at some of the samples a few weeks ago for an October wedding. Not a one was worked over except for the giant photographer logo.

[@Simsie89]

first story: He needs to step up and help out. But I think they should have a talk about it. Maybe help out until hes done with lawschool so he can later provide for the kid. And make an agreement that once he graduated and got a job, the parents will stop paying for him on the child support. Of course he still helps out like take care of the baby and such. Take the baby to appointments, watch over the child for a few days to give the mother a break, ect.

[@thecraftycyborg9024]

In- sip- ih- dis The sip is just like “sipping a beverage”, the “ih” is like “eh” but with a soft I sound instead of a soft e, and the dis is like dissing/talking bad about a person.

[@Clodsodclod]

1st one.. YTA tbh. Woman couldve EASILY gotten an abortion, she chose to keep it knowing she might never have access to her kids bio dad.

[@k.l.6129]

Goodness... I find it creepy when my son is touchy due to my neurodivergence, but I am competent enough to know that touch is essential to child development. Parenthood isn't about parents. It's about the children. I'm amazed that people still think that children exist to comfort, validate and impress the parent. Good parenting entails sacrafice and compromise regardless of the adults individual issues. If you can't come to terms with the fact you're going to be raising an adult in training and that you must do certain things in order to guarantee mental stability in the long run, don't reproduce. What comes out of your body today is going to be the next generation tomorrow. Let's produce a better tomorrow; k?

[@ajarfullofjoy]

Story 1:I'm in law school, if he's getting out of undergrad without debt that's amazing. I had a scholarship in undergrad and came out with $15k. Worked, paid it off and now I'm in law school. I'll come out with maybe $30kdebt. You work hard, climb up the ranks as a lawyer, and you'll be able to pay it off. Op's kid will be fine. He needs to get over being pissed his parents making him take responsibility for something that isn't their responsibility.

[@Cheycartoongirl8]

It's everyone's favorite person! The wonderful Daddy Waffle, Mark! Speaking of wonderful, time for a wonderful writers hack fact! You know those two little dots above a letter? They're called an umlaut. They tell the reader to pronounce the second vowel independently from the first. For example Naïve and Zoë.

[@KyrieChii]

... I actually didn't know that. Thanks for the fact ^^

[@alannahd.7417]

I want a plushie of that bloody waffle 😂❤ it's little :0

[@Jessidafennecfox]

YAAS

[@Darlin_86]

The photographers was in breach of contract, stated 300 photos gave only 100 and was unprofessional in more ways than one. If payment is withheld and photographer were to take to court they would lose the case:

[@Hanzo1]

OP really shouldn't pay that photographer they not only did not fulfill their end of the contract 100 out of the 300 photos promised and along with the other things and with OP having to constantly look after their child and preventing them from getting hurt and essentially acting like a babysitter for them I would have given 1/3rd of the payment at most.

[@drasiella]

As someone who is damaged, I do see cuddles as something to only have with a sexual partner and nobody else. There are deeper issues here. Perhaps sexual abuse as a child and neglect that grew into resentment.

[@frankhooper7871]

I agree the photographer should be paid...one third of the contracted fee as she provided one third of the service contracted for. And given a bad review stating that she had arrived late and acted unprofessionally in bringing her child along. In the last case, it's unclear [to me] how old the son is, but I'm guessing about 10 as it did state the pregnancy was in 2009. I'm also assuming he knows his 'father' isn't his biological dad. The son should definitely be told the truth and I'm sure he'll cope with it. Otherwise it _will_ come out at some point in the future.

[@leahthompson7054]

As a person who hates being touched with three grownup kids l always gave quick hugs and when they needed further contact because of sickness or emotional need l sucked it up and gave what was needed

[@wandering_penguino]

Haven't even listened to the Reddit comments yet but Op from story 3 is why you only send 100 photos not all 300 at a time. No photographer is going to waste all their time editing all 300 just to then have someone have all the photos and not pay them.

[@samantha1102]

I have a confession. I ate at IHOP today. I didn't eat pancakes. I promise! Am I still part of the gang? Love your videos! I love your personal stories. It's what makes your channel personal

[@cassandrabelyeu2419]

I don’t get why people are angry at the single mother in the first story for not aborting/for making the father of the child provide financial support. If she doesn’t want an abortion, she shouldn’t have to have one. If you have to tell me what to do with my body if heterosex has its most common side effect, get an agreement, in writing, in advance, signed by me. Sign away the “side effect” even. But don’t expect me to shoulder the entire cost of birth control, termination, birth, AND shielding you from the consequences, with my body, sans signed agreement.

[@commander8625]

Nobody is mad that she didn't abort. People are upset that she knew he didn't want to have the child (assumption based on him ghosting before the birth), and yet she expects him to pay child support. People just get upset here cause we don't know enough to tell if this is some sort of scam or not. Because this does seem like it could be a scam. Anyhow, nobody has enough info to judge for sure. We don't know the full story, the timeline, the views on abortion, either party's motivations, feelings. We can't actually tell anything from this story. We don't even know if they wore protection cause the OP can't be bothered to find out. For that, OP is TA.

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: gee, what the world needs -- another morally questionable lawyer. Absolutely, whatever money he has goes into child support. When OP's son grows up, then he can consider going to law school.

[@justine8387]

I know Reddit always says therapy but adoption therapists are amazingly skilled. They will help the father navigate this tricky situation.

[@phillipa666]

Story 2: As a person who never wanted kids I love my little boy, he is my world. Even when I'm exhausted, have no energy etc I suck it up and push through to play with him, give him all the attention he deserves and shower him with love. Once you have a kid your feelings come last. If you can't do that then you don't have kids!

[@didyasaysomethin2me]

Story 1: If either of my sons did this I would... 1. Feel an immeasurable amount of pity toward the mother of their child(ren) 2. Probably leave the country. My "kids" don't even take any responsibility for anything as it is. They wouldn't hesitate to dump everything on the baby's mom and on me. That's not my idea of being a grandma. I'd rather not have grandchildren for the sake of the grandchildren, and my own sanity too.

[@randomaccount6725]

For story 2, i’d have to say YTA. When it comes to your child and their physical needs, you put them first and not how comfortable you are. Also, op can’t just pick and choose between whether her partner or her son gets physical affection. That’s gonna hurt the kid, honestly feel bad for them.

[@mpmansell]

Story 1: We have no idea why Josh ghosted her. It could have been before the pregnancy was known. She might be a nightmare. She might have a history of saying she's pregnant. I've met girls like that. Or he could just be a huge asshole. We have no idea, or information. Certainly Josh now needs to support his child, but we don't know if he deserves being abused for his actions to date. Also, OP doesn't get to decide much - he is likely unqualified to do so. A lawyer is needed here to either negotiate the terms of support or lead it to court for a judge to make a decision. If OP just gives that college fund, they are forcing a precedent of payment expectations on Josh while having no standing to do so. Also, without an agreement in place, Tina could just accept it as a gift from the grandparents, and then still accuse Josh of not paying anything so he will lose both his education, and have to pay extra on reduced earnings. This is not something that can be navigated without support. OP comes across as a very 'black and white' guy who might be letting his prejudices blind him to the shades of grey in the situation.

[@ecos889]

Also we don't know if Josh even wanted the baby what if this lady was abusive to him. Also a lot of men in the USA have committed suicide because of child support one bad decision especially at 19 is not enough reason to pay child support to a child you did not consent too. While it takes two to tango it takes one person to cosent to keeping a child and one judge to force a man to pay too much that they can afford to cause them to go homeless.

[@Dustin81]

It said they weren't dating, so maybe it was just a fling/one night stand. He should have at least asked for a paternity test before ghosting.

[@shootingcomet082]

Its not a case of him giving his college fund to her and counting that as the payments. They already went through the courts, the courts set an amount, he doesn't have that much money on his own so his parents want him to take the amount of the payments from his college fund when the payments come up (ex. take $50 out this month from the college fund, take $50 out next month from the college fund, repeat until he no longer has to pay child support or the money is gone.)

[@mpmansell]

@@Dustin81 You're assuming he knew about the pregnancy before ghosting.

[@mpmansell]

@@ecos889 While there is some unfairness there, it is still his child and needs supporting. Pregnancy is a natural consequence of sex. In fact, that is one of its primary purposes. Unless he was raped, or had sperm stolen and used, then he consented to the possibility of a pregnancy and its consequences.

[@magicalsheepie]

For story one, I believe that people should be allowed to fully walk away from children if they don't want them, including not having to pay for them. That applies to men and women. It's unfair for the son to have to pay for a child he doesn't want. Cuddling story: Cuddles and physical affection are necessary for proper development. Lack of cuddles/hugs or affection in general will create a cold, uncaring adult who struggles with emotions and empathy. OP is actively damaging her son and tbh, I'm not sure if the damage that was already done can be fixed.

[@aimee4424]

They had to cancel other plans to do the photo shoot? That should have been their cue to cancel the shoot instead, it was a perfect excuse! Just say, “sorry, but we really need to be somewhere soon so we’re going to have to cancel/postpone” or something like that

[@rayfordreed9304]

Mark: "There I go again, talking about my life and waffling on" pretty much apologizing. Mark's Subscribers: Are literally called the waffle gang and are on his channel to hear him talk.

[@louellacharlton4425]

And waffle on and on and on. We all love his waffling. And his laughing.

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

Story 2...she needs serious therapy, and so will her kid. How gross she can show only sexual partners physical affection, and not the child of her own body. That poor kid is gonna have SO MANY intimacy issues!!

[@SIRO_GLYDER]

Do you like snakes, my dad is scared. As soon as I move into my own house I’m getting one

[@MarkNarrations]

I held a boa once and was a pretty cool experience till it nearly strangled me :)

[@aly5041]

I used to work in a pet store, ppl would buy snakes and then get mad at the equipment the snakes need. Some even complained that the snake wasn't cuddly or bite them and would usually return them. Or believed that keeping a snake in a small environment would keep it from growing

[@SIRO_GLYDER]

@@MarkNarrations hahaha

[@SIRO_GLYDER]

@@aly5041 how dare an easily agitated scaly mass of muscle that doesn’t have the intellect to recognise people not be comfortable around them, I can believe it would be scared

[@aly5041]

@@SIRO_GLYDER 😂 work in a pet store and you'll be surprised. The stories i could tell.

[@metalking837]

Story 3: I'd really like to know the deposit amount. If it was between 30-50% of the bill, then I'd go with NTA. At the end comment OP said they only received 1/3 of the amount of photos requested. So by that point the entire product was not delivered, and as such cancelling would have been at least reasonable.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

No touching with a child causes failure to thrive. Mom needs psychotherapy and medication. She should be doing everything she can so she can cuddle and hug her child. Breaks my heart for him

[@alexlawrence1356]

Story 3: NTA, I know I am the outlier but here me out. 1. They paid a nonrefundable deposit out the gate for the appointment 2. any Photographer at least from what I have seen, will send the preview photos with a watermark to prevent things like to from happening where people just take the photos without paying 3. Where I work any customer can refuse to accept their photos if they are not satisfied with anything in the photo process 4. They didn't receive the proper amount of photos that were contractually obligated I am not saying they shouldn't pay for the photos they want but because in combination of the deposit they put down as well as the facts that the photographer was unprofessional and didn't deliver what was originally promised is why I say OP is NTA

[@mccgraphics4449]

Story 2, I think that you do need to give cuddles to your son. If he has already come to you and told you he needs cuddles then yes it has hurt him.

[@nightcorelucario2218]

Story 1: NTA. Josh needs to step up for his actions and take responsibility. I am concerned about Tina and Josh's history however and that could change judgement Story 2: Weird one. I'd at least try make some effort to show some more affection to your child, despite your discomfort Story 3: YTA. Yes, she was very unprofessional but you need pay someone for their time and work Story 4: I feel like I have to say YTA here. Try to prepare yourself and maybe a therapist before telling him. He has a right to know. You're a great person and father for taking in this child and being there for him. Continue to do that for him through out his life no matter what and try not to let issues like these shake that

[@rambofan334]

Tina chose to keep the kid while Josh had zero say. She should suffer the consequences of her actions.

[@Night_Owl2023]

Story one, sounds to me that this story is incomplete, information is not all present, so from point of view, I could/can not make a determination as to aita at this point in time, as something just sounds off with this story. I am highly suspicious of the Josh’s actions and the baby’s mother and the the circumstances surrounding the the baby’s conception. I am NOT judging this first story at all, only voicing discrepancies in the story, 1, what is Josh’s personality usually like, is josh usually kind, attentive, responsible and Caring. 2, what is the background on the baby’s mother, what could her personality described as. This information is missing through story and could have a significant impact as to this story and any judgement made regarding the story. It sounds like could be at best a bit of recreational S_x that went wrong, resulting it pregnancy. However at worst it could be a case of baby trapping by the the baby’s mother & Josh is the victim of said trap. Some thing smells fishy here with story one, more information is needed, before I make a judgement.

[@tinagalaxy9959]

I 100% agree also I was just feeling like that was her body it's her choice that it should be his choice whether he wants to be in that child's life or not especially if they were used for protection and it wasn't 100% safe like you know what I mean, on top of the fact it wasn't even a girlfriend it was just a girl that he knew

[@04beni04]

It's funny how the mind works, because I wondered if it's _Josh_ who has something to feel guilty about. It sounds like he otherwise has a good relationship with his parents, so is he hiding bad behaviour on his part? Beyond ghosting and dodging responsibility, I mean. I've known a couple girls who were comfortable with baby-trapping, and at the risk of sounding cynical, scheming people are usually more scheming. If she targeted Josh, knowing his family is comfortable enough financially to go after for support, I would have expected her to do her research, to know how/where to contact his parents much sooner.

[@monserrath270]

I find it interesting how everyone sees his son as an a hole and telling him to step up when the girl has equal responsibility. Like you said, there is so much info missing and I feel like people are shitting on the boy just for being a guy. She could have aborted if the baby was so scary for her to have.

[@Night_Owl2023]

@@tinagalaxy9959 I Agree with you in full, with this story, additional information is required as well as context, that may shed more light on this story. Also to me, the fact the baby’s mother’s story about trying to track down and contact Josh’s parents, the time line seems off to me, especially as most people are very simple to find via the internet & social media these days, some thing to me just feels off to me.

[@Night_Owl2023]

@@04beni04 I must agree, something does not add up with this story, context and Additional information is required to make an educated judgement with this story. Could josh have mentioned his financial position to his friend’s or this girl directly in conversation which could have made josh a target for a baby trap, providing that is the case, as it may not be so, additional information is needed for clarification purposes.

[@JSainte17]

Wtf is wrong with OP? Says she’s super cuddly with her partner but doesn’t like to hug her own kid? And why is she even comparing the two by saying that stuff is only for one person?! OP has some kind of issue.

[@babycakez8070]

I actually don’t know if that photographer can sue, yes they done some of the work but I’m assuming she sent watermark on the first set as payment not received, never delivered good as the full contract stated(amount) and was late. If she when to small claim I doubt much will come out of it, because the contract was originally breach from her end. Personally if she was that late I would have just cancelled anyways, as I wouldn’t want to pay her anything.

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

I'd love to see the Court case. She first was super late then ha the nerve to show up with a child that hasn't been taught to sit or behave. Yes sometimes it's unavoidable to have to bring your child. But if you have to look away every two seconds either you should have done a better job parenting as depending on the age of the child you could have sat them down with your phone to watch a movie or brought toys to keep the kid. The fact that you were distracted by the kid means that you couldn't do your job properly. I doubt those pictures were that great as even the couple had to help parent the child. If her kid is that had next time she will learn to always have a backup sitter or cancel if she can't manage to keep her kid out of trouble if forced to bring them.

[@jazz-cat00]

@@Mew_Mokuba_Akari and people seem to forget that part where the photographer only sent in 1/3rd of the pictures originally promised to Op; as expressed in some form of contract, if I remember correctly?

[@beyondEV]

if you feel the need to ensure services are rendered as promised, insist on adding a punitive breach close (e.g. about the value of the service). if they cancel, breach the contract so you essentially need to cancel to limit the damage, you now can take them to court. it's the contractual way of telling someone that you're not ready to compromise. of course they may then decline to enter the contract. (important remark: depending on jurisdiction some things, like a car accident on the way, pandemic etc. are always excluded). personally i would be quite understanding if schools were closed to the pandemic, otherwise not so much. there are in to may people who doesn't seems to understand that a global pandemic is a valid excuse to not be able to render promised services in the usual manner. the pay 1/3 for 1/3 of the photos seems reasonable.

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

@@jazz-cat00 Yes I went back and listened she asked for 300 pictures in the contract and got 100. I get shit happens and you can't always have child care. But if you don't parent right you end up with an out of control brat. Case in point there was a story about a realtor whose child care fell through and had 2 kids. I know one was 5 not sure of the other I think 2 but could be wrong. Know what she was, a parent as she gave the kids colors and toys and made them stay under the kitchen table. She was able to do her job and her kids didn't disrupt her during said job. She didn't have to stop every two minutes to parent. I still say she should have knowing she had to bring him. Brought toys to keep him occupied or given him her phone. I've seen kids in grocery stores glued to the phone. I'm sure that doesn't work for all kids but she should have called and apologize and discount for another day if her kid was so out of control she couldn't do anything with him there.

[@nerdy_evy]

Story 2: is he a toddler or is her 10? The two aren't the same at all. The way they kept saying their child was a toddler was extremely uncomfortable if it turned out the kid was 10.

[@flowerondiscord4254]

I’ve never been the person who likes physical affection, touching hugging etc because i’ve never really had these before and the one time I did was because I asked for a hug from my friend because they thought I was weird for not hugging hem when we meet or something lmao

[@perpecedecelequex]

Story 1: Did they get a paternity test? Did he us protection? She could just be trying pin another guy's baby on the man with the most secure future, maybe even the only guy she knew any info about? People are acting like this is a for sure thing, but if they weren't dating there is no guarantee he is the only person she screwed around with. Making this kind of decision, assuming this girl is telling the truth off the bat, willing to just hand him over to the wolves? Op sucks, and Josh sucks for expecting his parents to help with the child support if he had to give (as determined by a court of law). ESH.

[@hiimryan2388]

Half of your questions are littterally answered in the video

[@perpecedecelequex]

@@hiimryan2388 My bad, it was a short section and by the time I was done with the vid I forgot.

[@hiimryan2388]

@@perpecedecelequexummm 👍

[@susankaempfer8427]

4:44 Am I the only one that finds it mind blowing that Josh wants to be a LAWYER?!

[@nukerwolf7788]

Story 2 as a cuddly person who has a mom that stoped hugging once I became an adult I'm a little torn because if my mom stopped that when I was a kid maybe I wouldn't be so starved for it now. Yes I'd say hide you affection for SO and yeah therapy would be good im glad you still hug him at least. I've been physically starved for years its hell.

[@jacegallagher8589]

Story 1: NTA. Your son needs to step up and take responsibility. However, do remember that student loans CANNOT BE DISCHARGED IN BANKRUPTCY. This might not be an issue for undergrad, but it will be for grad school. The federal government will prioritize student loan debts over child support. That being said, if your son is doing the best he can come time to go to Law School, maybe give him some help. Taking responsibility for his actions should not mean his life ends because of one mistake.

[@krystelhardesty9960]

Story one you could try and use the college fund but you wont get much out of it depending on what kind of fund it is. If you use it for something other than school they charge fees. I also would be a little suspicious of a woman that has a one night stand with a guy she doesn't know, gets pregnant and keeps the baby.

[@Orinatl]

That's what paternity tests are for. Literally there intended use.

[@commander8625]

@@Orinatl yeah, that's not what this guy is saying. Josh ghosted before the baby's birth, thus allowing the inference that she knew he didn't want the baby beforehand. Regardless, she kept the baby even thoigh she knew she would be on her own. It was entirely her choice to have the baby, which leaves room for a scam and other stuff.

[@_Fizel_]

Story 3: NTA NTA NTA NTA. Is late then calls to say they'll be EVEN LATER, brings their child without mentioning it EVEN THOUGH THEY CALLED YOU, doesn't parent their child and THE PAYING CUSTOMER ENDS UP DOING SO, doesn't even take the agreed upon number of photos. Not even like 'oh you wanted 300 here's 298' it was 200 LESS PHOTOS. OP redeemed themselves by paying for the 100 they did end up getting. I would argue they aren't worth it and would only pay a discount since she was so damn unprofessional.

[@FjswLoser]

I am the same way as the mother who doesn't like to be touched. I am only affectionate towards my partner and not my family at all. I don't even tell them I love them but I think this stems more from anxiety or something. But I don't think this would be a problem if I ever had a child or if for whatever reason it is a problem, I'm going to just take the discomfort and cuddle with them. She should do the same and she might even learn to accept it and enjoy it over time.

[@browniewin4121]

1) OP, glad you are doing the responsible thing and also making your son take responsibility and not let him continue to run away from the consequences of his behavior. 2) Sounds to me like autism, but since you said you said you cuddled him as an infant, I wonder if some therapy would help so you can give your child more hugs that he has expressed he is missing. You are his mother and if you fail to provide the physical and emotional connection your child needs then YTA. 3) ESH but you more than the photographer. Emergency lack of child care made it a difficult situation for everyone but she did get you good photos so pay her. 4) Be truthful, tell him the results were surprising but assure him you love him no less.

[@Julaeable]

The dad in story 1 is awesome 👍🙂 I don't think I have been this supportive of an opinion in a while 🤣

[@MsArmitage]

Story 2. I really don't like to be touched. Have sensory issues. I have an almost nine year old who is comforted on a deep level by touch. I will go out of my way to hug and kiss her. We have found ways to ensure that she gets what she need without me freaking out. Have compromised that she can stroke my arm a certain way and no where else whilst cuddling in bed. Their needs goes before your comfort.

[@azadalamiq]

story 1: yta... ASK. the fling could have intentionally got pregnant, but college fun is for college, baby momma should do this the legal way and go through the courts so it can be siphoned off his paycheck instead off ruining is education. And im speaking of this as a child born out of wedlock whos dad did try to claim i wasn't his at first. i was 10 when i did a paternity which at the time was drawing blood. punishing people like this is stupid. it just hurts the kid in the end anyway, as the baby daddy will now resent the kid for ruining his life, as well as resent the his parents.

[@Night_Owl2023]

Story two, OP. You need to get help via therapy ASAP, before you end up causing irreversible emotional damage to your son and your relationship with your son OP. Good luck for the future OP.

[@HighPhoenix1754]

The DNA test story hurts. But YTA. Honesty hurts up front.. but heals better in the long run.

[@501Magnum]

1.NTA: OP's son NEEDS to learn responsibility and face the consequences of his actions. 2.YTA: Leaving a child touch-starved like that can leave the child severely mentally damaged 3.ESH: Yes the photographer was unprofessional, yes it ruined the evening for you and your SO. But that does not give OP the right to not pay for the pictures that have been taken, edited, and enhanced. Especially after admitting that the pictures ARE GOOD! 4.NTA: While some people will argue against this decision, i will stand by it by saying that. While yes, it was a AH move to hide that information, i do not think that it would make OP a big enough AH to justify this being YTA. Especially with the intentions behind their actions.

[@selimkarayl7823]

First story everyone says NTA and Josh has to be responsible and sure he "ghosted" her but she decided to keep the baby. Now thanks to her decision Josh has pay for it and risk his future. How is that fair? Second story, if she doesn't like physical contact ever since she was 5 and so far only exception was her partner how is she TA here?

[@rambofan334]

And feminists say there's a patriarchy.

[@Jack-kx5rf]

Story 1. YTA. You're willing to force your son to risk losing his dream career and his huge potential earnings in the long run which would be a huge increase in his finances for himself and the baby so the mother can have some cash now? Even as you have plenty of money to help out and it seems like his mother really wants to. Like your wife said you're risking your son and grandchild's future.

[@magdalenaos8215]

Like he didn't ditch his baby... You think that later in life he would take care of his child? I don't belive it. I think he would keep run away from responsibility.

[@rambofan334]

He was also had zero say in whether or not the child was kept. Tina chose to keep the kid so she should have to deal with the consequences.

[@magdalenaos8215]

@@rambofan334 If he wasn't raped, then the child is his responsibility. Having sex - even protected one goes with a risk. Also in most of the places in USA is very hard to get an abortion.

[@lovelywolv]

Day 1 of helping the person who wants Mark to say "it really means ZA WARUDO to me" instead of "it really means the world to me"

[@kylaluv8453]

Well Mark, if someone showed up stating they are pregnant with one of my kids baby I would have a 1000 questions. One of my kids is pansexual and poly (closest labels for that free spirited person) but still not sure how she or my other daughter could possibly impregnate someone.

[@moonfirechan7685]

Wait, if I'm doing the math right on the first story. Josh was still living with them when still living with them when she got pregnant. So, by the dad's own logic, he shouldn't dip into Josh's college fund.