AITA Circulating A Petition To Have Child Removed From My Kids Class?

[@catandrobbyflores]

Story 2 : if one child is the problem and all the other children are being adversely affected then the problem child needs to be moved. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one in this case. And let's be honest its easier to move one kid than potentially let's say 5. Nta

[@randomn4me205]

The single disruptive child can destroy the learning environment of the entire class. At the end of the year the entire class will be a year behind everyone else in the school, all so that the one child can "be in school with normal kids". Lets disrupt the 99% just to make sure the one is not excluded may be fair to the one but not to everyone else.

[@katarinaprofil5682]

I am shocked people on reddit didn't follow this logic.

[@philwill0123]

Ironically thats the same excuse schools use when a gang bullies a kid. They take the victim out of class rather than 3 or more bullies becuse the numbers game. OP has right to escalate concerns, but a petition against a child is a difficult situation. School Authority needs to be stronger and basically tell parent of bully only accept child if she gets recommended help. Unfortunately ESH. There is no dialogue here to help all the kids.

[@Sami19837]

@@philwill0123 - What the mother said about Welcome to Public School is very true but she needs realize she isn’t talking just about public school but GENERAL EDUCATION public school. I am a former Special Education teacher and if a parent refused services then the child was treated and held to the same standards. The kid can get detentions, suspensions, removed to a behavioral school (with bullies that would beat his ass) or suspension from the district. We had a few parents pull kids from Special services when they changed the law in TX and then were shocked their kid didn’t get to make rules or get leeway with their kids behavior. A student in early grade school ended up in the hospital because he acted out when in the behavioral school and older kids followed him home. Parents tried to sue the district but failed and put kid back in special education.

[@zerobolt9506]

Its needs of the many outweighs the need of the few. Oh ok I see what you did

[@owl7072]

Story 2: NTA. I get the parents of the child might be struggling, but allowing your child to terrorize their classmates and turning down help is ridiculous. "Welcome to public school" uh no, welcome to reality where if you let your child continue to do this into their teenage and adult years they could be arrested. "It's unfair to single out the troubled kid" and it's also unfair to let the troubled kid knowingly bully classmates to the point they have multiple complaints filed against them and having kids not want to go to school because of them constantly picking on the things that the kid *knows* will hurt them the most. If it was just OP then I'd say ESH but this is an entire class and their parents saying that something is wrong. Being troubled is not a damn excuse to not try and teach your children that it isn't okay to do what she's doing. They're allowing her to do this and can't be bothered to try and find a way to help her and the people around her. Instead they're expecting the classmates and their parents to just deal with it because "welcome to public school"

[@gibgabs2899]

Thank you! I agree, if it was just OP I’d be a bit iffy, but it’s the whole freaking class, man. There’s obviously a bigger problem if the kid is SO bad that everyone is being effected

[@FulgrimPhoenician]

I can agree on the reality point. Imagine eventually at work, there is a worker who constantly insults and interrupts other employees' work, that would get them fired quickly, yeah? A company can't work efficiently when people's work is constantly interrupted. I just wondered about that with the YTA from the therapist 'you have to deal with difficult people in the world', well, true, but at the same time, being able to work efficiently in a team environment is one of the key skills most jobs require, so it isn't as 'real world' as they claim.

[@renoloverxoxo]

You don't know what the school offered as additional help. It's entirely possible what they offered goes against what the child's doctors recommended for her (more than likely removing her from the classroom for one on one instruction). The fact OP knows the parents rejected the help is a huge invasion of privacy.

[@geraldgrenier8132]

@@renoloverxoxo petition to have the child removed is way over the line. However, the fault is on the teacher. the special needed parents rejected the extra help which means they consenting for the child to be disciplined for being disruptive and the teacher is failing to give and was pushing the responsibility on the other children to accommodate the behaviour

[@renoloverxoxo]

@@geraldgrenier8132 teachers have very little power to discipline.

[@inessilva1214]

in story 2 i'm shocked that Pandaswife's comment has that many points and awards. they are basically saying: be more empathetic and allow your kids to be bullied by another child just because they have a mental disorder. what about the mental disorders that can arise from being bullied? it's just crazy to me

[@Really_here]

Yeah there were 2 post like that those with the most awards It is really terrible how some of those supposed 'therapist' and 'teachers' who support this terrible behaviour.

[@ladydamiana6841]

I'd be willing to bet that she (?) is a special-need parent, not a regular parent. There's no other excuse for taking the disruptive child's mother's side. They want all the special treatment and immunity in the world, WITHOUT A SINGLE FORMAL DIAGNOSIS, and to hell with the normies and their families. Disgusting. OP should call CPS and report a child not receiving needed mental health services. Even if the case goes nowhere, it might wake up Ms. Proud Parent of A....

[@Z.O.1991]

I can't look for her account. Did she delete it?

[@inessilva1214]

@@Z.O.1991 the account is Pandaswife95

[@nisreen1982]

The parent did not say his daughter was being bullied. Where did u get that from? He said she has tantrums and disruptive. And it’s a valid point that was raised? What if it was his kid who have these problems? What if his daughter get some issues when she is older? Is he gonna get her out of school in order for her peers to learn without disruption. Public schools is for every one. My daughter has couple of kids with special needs that r part of her class but do extra stuff for their special needs. They disrupt school time too. But it’s important for my daughter to know that there r people who r different and I don’t shelter her for that. If bullying was involved, that would be a whole other story. But it was never mentioned here.

[@karmagrl76]

Story 2: I'd be interested in knowing what the school would do if every parent in that class demanded their child be put in another class. While it's unfair to gang up on a child whose parents are unwilling to give their child the help they need, it is also unfair to expect the other children to have to put up with that same child's reign of terror. They have a right to an education. They have a right not to be bullied. And since the consensus is that it's unfair to kick out the troubled child, then by rights they should allow the other children to be put in other classes.

[@kitsunekyubi9358]

agreed

[@XcelesteXmagixX]

Yes. As a teacher I have seen this happen. Az has somewhat of a recourse for these type of situations as there is a law that no student can interrupt the learning process. It sounded like that student needed to be in a smaller level C self contained room or even need the level D at special behavior schools. As I've never had this happen in my own classroom (where tantrums destroy the room and evacuating frequently), not sure if the school could make the parents accept an IEP with services unless calling CPS and getting social services involved. Its just one of the many things underfunded at school to getting students that extra help quickly. Regular classroom teachers are not trained councelors or SPED teachers to deal with an emotionally disturbed child like that and still provide good teaching to the rest of the children. Compound that with horrendous class sizes!

[@mcarthur692]

@afro dizziac .. not sure if you listened to story 2 but OP and another father confronted the mother and she told them "welcome to public school". The school was also asked questions and they said the mother refused the extra help they could have given her child. My take.. NTA

[@M1GrandExpert]

@afro dizziac They didnt bully a special needs kid. The kid was disrupting the class and had an issue with Op's daughter. Most of the parents from the class didnt want to have their learning environment disrupted. Now while I will say that maybe confronting her wouldnt be choice number one on the list, it was the only recourse they had left. The school did nothing to help, the parents rejected the school's extra services. So I mean are you really going to weigh the rights of all of the other students lesser than the one student? At some point they have rights to and to disregard them is completely disrespectful. NTA the parents of the student who's disrupting the others are the AH because they are not doing anything to deal with it.

[@janet6421]

@@M1GrandExpert I think having every other kid transfer out of the class and leave the bully would be more traumatic for the kid than being called out immediately after each outburst or mean comment. Tell the whole class that there have been some complaints about bullying and there will now be a "0 tolerance policy." Apply policy equally toward all of the kids and don't single out or excuse anyone.

[@mellvee]

I don't feel sorry for the parents at all. They decided not to take help from the school. I feel sorry for all of the kids in the story, including the little girl. The other kids are being bullied and their learning is being interrupted...yet the parents say "Oh well. We didn't want to take the help we were offered, so our daughter can be a bully and disrupt class for everyone else."

[@mlapointej]

This is so crazy to me. I tried so hard to get a school to properly help my son with his visual difficulties and eventually chose to homeschool because they just would not. I can't imagine turning down help for my kid that he needed

[@renoloverxoxo]

Dude for all you know the additional help offered by the school goes against the treatment plan the child's doctor has set up.

[@robertx8020]

@@renoloverxoxo that's a poor excuse.. "well, the docter said x so that is it"

[@renoloverxoxo]

@Hakon102 Are you diagnosing a child based on a stranger's illegally obtained information?

[@renoloverxoxo]

@@robertx8020 I completely understand trusting a doctor over the school. Schools have been busted trying to force behavioral meds on kids who don't need them.

[@ailsamaclaren397]

Story 2: I was THAT kid at THAT age and you are not the asshole. My parents bent over backwards to get me the help I needed (ADHD and mild dyspraxia diagnosis at aged 8 and autism diagnosis a year after I left school) and I worked with psychiatrists for years. Eventually I got there also with endless support from with several of my teachers who stood by me through the struggles cos they saw potential in me one even refused to expel me after a very expellable incident at the age of 16 saying 'no I am not letting you go I will see you to the bitter end'. It was my teachers at school who suggested I may have something on top of the ADHD and they were proved right after I left. I'm now studying modern languages at one of the top 40 universities in the country but that would've never happened if my parents hadn't worked at it. They worked with my school and got me help. I have had several teachers who I worked with for years (I went to the same school from 11-18 years old and me and my parents developed very close relationships with some of them meaning we've all kept in touch) tell me that I changed their attitudes to kids with ADHD and other disabilities showing them that we can come out the other end successful. Its definitely the parents that are the problem

[@arnatar2086]

Disruptive behaviour during classes is one thing. It can be dealt with in multiple fronts, getting the disruptive child help, but removing it from the classroom if it has an episode. Bullying is another thing. That is the moment where my sympathy wanders off. Parents of the problem child what is in the way of a solution, but the child and school are not blameless. The school refuses to take sanctions against such behaviour and the bully aspect is a problem needing of removal as well.

[@theresahall1591]

A good teacher can make a huge difference in any kid's life. A bad teacher can leave emotional scars for their lives. I wish i could have gotten your teachers. I wasn't a huge problem but I had problems and they didn't care.

[@PelegdolevWackyycool]

Story 2 I hate it when school accommodates to one child and forces the rest to deal with it. Remove that one child and don’t force 99% to be uncomfortable. Nta. That child needs help not a normal environment where she makes it harder for everyone else

[@TheScorpion0081]

They would also probably punish the entire student body if one person didn't something nasty because "one bad apple ruins the bunch." I disposed that when my middle school canceled an upcoming dance because someone dropped a stink bomb in a hallway in between class.

[@PowerStar004]

Except the school ISN'T accommodating that one child. They are doing NOTHING and using the child as an excuse.

[@janet6421]

@@PowerStar004 There are schools for special needs kids. There are people trained to help them adapt to the world. My husband works for one these schools and it is state funded. Parents don't pay out of pocket they just need to either drive their kids or sign up for a volunteer driver with the school.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

Story 2: ABSOLUTELY NTA. Its fine to be introduced to mental illness and different people, but when the child is preventing learning, what you are SENDING THEM THERE FOR, that child needs to be removed. This is coming from a former troubled child. I had undiagnosed autism and when over stimulated, I lashed out. I was a full on terror. I was given an IEP and 3 times a week I was removed in addition to other accommodations. School ran more smoothly for everyone. Now imagine if I didn't get those accommodations. Everyday, when we were supposed to be learning lessons, I would have been preventing that. And if you want you children to learn difference, teach them. Other children are not your children's "lesson". They should already know that being different is okay at school age. In first grade, I had a wide range of friends with hearing aids, tourettes, ASD, visual impairments, and other disorders. I just wanted to play. I didn't care about their differences. Most children won't. But a disruptive child will definitely be ostracized because kids don't want to be around them anymore than adults want to (without interventions).

[@ladyj.9350]

Right like I have an alphabet of issues but I did everything I could to not affect my classmates. Circulating a petition is pretty brutal but it sounds like the parents are at the end of the rope

[@Jeanne1280]

I think the parents should all ask to have there kids moved to another class then maybe they will see that the child needs help instead of forcing kids to deal with disruptive children. In the end that child will meet another kid who will fight back

[@jamestown8398]

I was also a special needs kid, and I agree. When I went to school I was put in special education classes, and only moved to mainstream classes when the teachers and my parents agreed I was ready. Do you know what the result was? I got the support I sorely needed.

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

There's a school of thought amongst some children's therapists, educators and parents of children with SEN that a disruptive child is somehow GOOD for the rest of the class, as it teaches them how to deal with disruptive people. It's rubbish of course, as a person who is as disruptive as that in your workplace or personal life you can get fired or arrested. You certainly aren't told to just duffer it in silence. The other children have the right to pursue their education unmolested, and that overrides the wants of the parents or educators.

[@CL-lx2pm]

Let alone the straight up ludicrous suggestion to just move her kid's class instead. How is moving every child in the class to a new one any different than moving the girl who very clearly needs a different environment to a new one? More importantly how is the school actually supposed to make that happen?

[@schokigirl1989]

I was shocked with the therapist in the comments too. They basicly said, that the kid need to deal with the bullying, because she needs to get stronger? What? This is why you need to be careful at picking a therapist. They are obviously not all the same.

[@MissStephy100]

It is insane, I had someone who was disruptive in my math class and basically it got to the point where I wasn't learning anything and had to move to another class. My grades suffered greatly because of it

[@3adgamd3r]

schokigirl I have serious doubts that that was a real therapist. It was someone using the title to give their two cents whilst being uneducated.

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

@@3adgamd3r I have heard child therapists here in the UK make statements very similar to that. Probably because they view the world through the lens of the troubled child's best interests, and are somewhat blind to the needs of everyone else.

[@bubbles9287]

Story 2: I had a very similar experience when my daughter was in kindergarten. One girl had serious issues and basically ran the classroom and recess times with her behavior. She was verbally abusive to all the other kids, but mine got the worst of it. I had a meeting with her teacher and we attempted conflict management. Things continued and it was exacerbated by the girl’s mother being allowed to substitute teach for the class. After Christmas break, I came to pick up my daughter. She began to cry when she saw me and to my horror, she was bloody. The girl had cornered her during recess, pushed her against a tree, and started yanking her hair. (It is very long, lower back length.) She was grabbing handfuls and ended up ripping my daughter’s earring, nearly splitting her earlobe. She had blood down the side of her neck and her hair was matted to her ear. She was too scared to say anything because teachers had NEVER helped her before; however, the injury was painfully obvious. I don’t understand how so many adults could miss it!!! The long and short, my husband and I met with everyone in administration at the school. They refused to punish the girl in any meaningful way, just one lunch detention. I was completely outraged and still don’t know why they chose to handle it the way they did, but my theory is something to do with the girl’s mother working at the school. They told me that the girl was having serious problems and we should be more understanding. Ummmm, fuck no!!! When I was told that she couldn’t switch classes and she would still be in the same room with someone who physically assaulted her, I lost it. Not my finest day, but I had had it. I demanded my daughter’s records, told them how awful they and the school were, and basically told the principal to fuck off (no kids heard). And that was the day I realized how shitty the schools in my area are. I immediately pulled her out of public school and switched to a hybrid homeschool down the street. She has been there for 5 years now and will be returning to public school next year, hopefully the ‘rona will calm down by then. So, NTA. Every child deserves to feel safe at school and if the other child’s parents turned down help she obviously needs, that’s borderline neglect. The rest of the kids shouldn’t have their education stalled because of the actions of one student. I’m not sure I would have a petition going, but I’m not going to blame OP for doing the most to protect her kid, as well as the rest of the classroom. Whew!! Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!!

[@Hoosierdilf]

If they did that to my child i would sue.

[@bubbles9287]

@@Hoosierdilf We did consult a lawyer. We would have needed to file a police report, which required statements from my daughter. In my state, it is notoriously difficult to sue a school without expensive, experienced lawyers who are willing to take on a case against a school district. In the end, we opted to use our money for therapy instead of a lawsuit. All these years later, I know it was the right thing to do. She now understands how to deal with bullies and the emotions that come with. But OMG, I can’t deny that deep in my heart, I wanted to sue the shit out of them.

[@DD-wd2ep]

I would've gone to jail for beating the living sh!t out of that bully child and the kid's mom. Eff that.

[@sallybruska3245]

When my middle daughter was in first grade there was a child who was disruptive in her class. However she was destructive: she poured glue in kids hair, cut their clothes with scissors, destroyed homework, etc. Several parents threatened to take their kids out of school if the principal didn't do something. The principal said this school was her last chance and wouldn't remove her. I think the parents finally went to the school board and she was removed. The child needed more help than one teacher could give. The other children deserved a calm place to learn. This parent is not the AH.

[@redconvoy]

The second story, the kid needs to be put in a special class because they have behavioral problems. They should not be in a normal class until that is resolved. Yes, kids should learn conflict skills, but this is going too far. I don't blame the parents going into mamma and pappa bear modes at this point. The psych's advice is ridiculous. So, they should just put up with this until someone gets hurt? No. Sorry, this is no time to be PC.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

Honestly, I have a feeling that the girl’s Mom just said that the psychiatrist said that so the school would see to it that her daughter wouldn’t have to be put into any special needs classes. I truly feel that not many psychiatrists, at least the ones who know the full history of this child, would be saying anything along those lines. Or it could be that the Mom is feeding the doc a pack of lies about how “well” the child is doing in “normal” classes with the same end goal in mind. She wants her kid to be “normal” and in refusing the school’s help and the IEP (and possibly a proper diagnosis), this Mom is trying her hardest to prove that her child isn’t truly special needs. I just hope that she snaps out of her delusion sooner rather than later. Because at this rate, one of two things is going to most probably happen. 1) That kid is gonna end up bullying the wrong person and could potentially get their ass handed to them or even lose their life. or 2) They’re most likely to go too far and physically hurt, or worse kill, someone herself. Wow. This is just an all around crappy situation.

[@lizgawin899]

@@FoxyMomma4ever the kids parents do need a wake up call not only for the reasons you mentioned but legally, if the kid physically hurts/kills someone, the kids parents would be held liable and 1) could potentially have their kid taken and committed to a home that can give the kid the proper diagnosis and help they need or 2) the kid will spend the rest of her life in jail.

[@Sifya]

I agree I remember in high school there was this boy could become really violent and almost assolt some girls. We learn to be empantic? No,we learnt the opposite way,forcing bonding and ignoringing special needs,creating only frustation

[@rachaelvaughan1017]

So the answer is to put the other special needs students in danger? I have learning disabilities and went to special education classes and no they didn't have students with behavioral problems in there and the process of being diagnosed was mostly on the school so the school could've decided that the best solution was for the child to remain in regular classes instead of isolating them but the truth is that they probably don't have anyone that knows how to deal with someone with a mental illness or behavioral issues that are that severe (that's not really the same as someone with dyslexia or add or adhd). They would probably need a special type of school for there child

[@jamestown8398]

I was a special needs child, and being in special education classes and resource classes are what allowed me to get through school. Those resource teachers probably saved my life.

[@15oClock]

1. Funny how he says he was only kidding about scamming people out of money. No one likes him because he does this and that's on him and no one else. 2. Perhaps the kid's dealing with stuff, perhaps the school authorities have crossed a line, but her parents are doing nothing to help her and it's become everyone else's issue. They're doing no one any favors by doing nothing. 3. So this is what Karen's home life looks like. I can't say I'd want to be a part of it, especially not the son's. I think that should've been the part where she gets divorce, but let's make up for lost time. 4. Ripley's a service dog and that's his part in life that he enjoys, not matter what this ableist asshole says. Not sure you can undo Ripley's training, but let's not give Jack the chance.

[@KuroAlis]

It is possible to undo or "damage" service dog's training which could force them into early retirement.

[@flamelily2086]

No matter what problems the other girl is dealing with, the girl should be taught that anti social behaviour is unacceptable. It isn't fair that this girl is being allowed to be so disruptive in the classroom. My grandmother loved children but was also very firm about stopping a child from being disruptive. I don't agree that OP is the AH. Saying that OP's child must learn to deal with it is disgusting. This is not about a normal situation where two kids don't get along. Children shouldn't have to learn to cope with kids who have extreme problems, that are making the lives of the other kids miserable. The children are not trained therapists, they are kids who are at school to learn. This child is not coping in the normal school environment and clearly needs a different environment that supports the childs needs. It isn't fair on the troubled child either to be expected to cope in a normal school environment that clearly isn't helping her. The parents sound like idiots that are not getting their child the help she needs.

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

I agree with you for story 2!

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

@@flamelily2086 YES THANK YOU!!

[@boooo13]

You can find stories of people needing new service dogs cause the training was messed with. It's part of why it's important to leave service dogs alone and not distract them.

[@blibbloob7824]

2 - NTA. Is everyone saying YTA and ESH ignoring that the child is frequently harassing other kids??? If it was just the meltdowns and disruptions I'd understand, but at this point she is being so hurtful that the other kids don't want to go to school and feel unsafe. These kids are like 8, they don't feel safe because they aren't safe, they're getting bullied. There is no conflict or lack of empathy to be found from the parents and their kids.The parents are doing their jobs and trying to do something about it. Are they just meant to ignore it until the child works through her problems? But what happens till then? She's already escalated from mean to targeting insecurities. Why should her mental health prioritized above that of her classmates? This sort of thing does have lasting effects. Honestly this could've been approached better. But her parents where offered extra help and a different, more adaptable environment, which they refused claiming that it wasn't in her best interests. One can't then fault the other parents for looking out for their own children's best interests.

[@ruddiko]

Never have kids with developmental issues of disabilities please, your albeism hurts us all

[@purpledragon2442]

This. I was that kid back in elementary. My autism mixed with a hard home life made school rough for me and only got worse. The fact the parents denied special help for her is even more aggravating. If she’s not gonna get the help for her kid, why do the other kids have to deal with it? OP is NTA and I feel so sorry for the kid.

[@irisleli5151]

@@ruddiko it's not ableism, refusing help for the kid is going to hurt everybody and it's true kids should learn to accept and help special need people but this is not what is happening.

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

@@ruddiko You have no idea what you're talking about. Not putting up with abuse from someone, when they happen to be disabled....isn't *ABLEISM*

[@sapphireclawe]

@@ruddiko Their comment is something that I as a 21 year old autistic person completely agreed with, because let's face it, it's not ableism to suggest that the parents of the troubled girl aren't doing anything to help her. It's unfair for multiple people to be unable to learn because of one person. If the roles were reversed and it was a neurotypical girl picking on a class of neurodivergent classmates, you'd go PULL HER OUT IMMEDIATELY, wouldn't you?

[@missluciddreams3472]

Story two: NTA...the parents r deliberately putting their child in a bad situation by denying extra help. Children need to learn in a stress free environment...all of the people saying YTA must not have to deal with these issues. We have a child with autism and may have to take him out of mainstream school if his behaviors become an issue.

[@Sample-Text.]

@afro dizziac op is only somewhat targeting the child, there is nothing they think they can do at the moment to change the parents mind so they think the best thing to do is to remove the child so all the other children won't be targeted, if the child had nothing wrong with them and was just a major ass and there was nothing you could do would you want them removed? Why should it matter if the child isn't normal? the child is saying such foul things that the other kids don't want to go to school, the child is delaying the other kids from learning for all we know there could be other kids that have disorders that make it hard for them to learn in the first place

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

@afro dizziac As if the children dealing with this girl's abuse is going to leave them unscathed....yeah dude this is coming from someone who WAS abused by people who were also struggling. I was a teenager when those things happened, and years later, I'm still traumatized.

[@CL-lx2pm]

I can't help but get the feeling lately that the get-along gang who always suggests conflict management and empathy in the face of vicious bullying amongst children either forget what it's like to be harassed so cruelly *every day* as a child, or never had it done to them to begin with. Hurt people hurt people, yes, but that doesn't exactly make the new hurt go away now does it? Your neighbor's broken leg doesn't make your broken finger any less painful. How about a little empathy for the kids being bullied who can't learn and can't get away?

[@Badartist888]

For me its more likely that the school doesn't want to pay the money needed and make the teacher be the bad guy. You can bet the teacher hates having the kid there and it seemed like a lot of the meltdowns were aimed at them.

[@sirenspeaks3210]

My brother had a similar situation. A kid was mean and picked on people Constantly. he had trouble at home (cps got involved etc.) and for elementary school, people were told the same thing. "welcome to public school" but when he got to middle school... he got expelled and no one has seen him since... idk what happened also, refusing an IEP? Seriously? You know it's bad when you don't even have to ASK for one.

[@Cel3ere5]

This. So much this. This family is in for the ride of their future lives. Hopefully no one gets physically hurt. But the older they get, the worse it gets. It's just so interesting to see how it got, or in this story's case, is going to get so bad.

[@FoxyMomma4ever]

I’m giving you a standing ovation from my bedroom!!! Well said, Sidney Johnsen, well said!

[@fcold9402]

2. NTA. the parents should not have to do this, however. if the kid is violating rules by bullying other kids or being disruptive she should automatically be removed by the teacher.

[@allblazing1160]

Or the op could just move her child into another class and avoid the whole ganging up on a child situation she ain't wrong for wanting her kid to be able to learn in the classroom but she's wrong for everything else when there are easier options available yta

[@KyrieChii]

@@allblazing1160 But that isn't going to solve the problem for all the other parents raising this as an issue. The school is going to be inundated with 'requests to change classrooms' all to avoid one troubled student who isn't getting the help they so obviously need. This isn't just about disruptions, but about bullying other students (re: 'needling their particular insecurities'). This is a problem that needs to be addressed with the student who is causing the problems. In that child's future, the world is not going to 'rearrange' around her for her convenience (& said student is arguably being harmed by that being the method of addressing it now, as they aren't able to learn either). I understand being against the idea of doing a petition, but if the parents & school are unwilling to act, what else can they all do?

[@PinkMarshmallows]

@@allblazing1160 Or the bully kid's parents can put their kid in a special class that deals with these types of behaviors. It seems like those parents don't want to help their child and thinks everything is all dandy with their heads stuck in the sand.

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

@@allblazing1160 That isn't going to solve the problem, it's just going to further caudle this girl, and teach her that other kids should either put up with her crappy behavior, or leave.

[@janet6421]

@@PinkMarshmallows The bully needs to be corrected for behavior, the school needs to be corrected for enabling it, the bully's parents need to be corrected for thinking this is everyone else's problem. The petition will be given to the school not the child. Hopefully the school will realize that this problem can't be ignored and confront the parents about the child getting treatment/discipline depending on the specifics of what is wrong with the child.

[@Rose_Bride]

I truly _HATE_ how _AWFUL_ Redditers are sometimes. As a parent of a child who was STABBED IN THE EAR WITH A PENCIL, ATTACKED, and VERBALLY as well as PHYSICALLY abused by a child in her classroom (much like this child in OP's story), I 100% commend OP for rallying the other parents. This child right now is only being "disruptive", but trust me. It _WILL_ continue to get worse and eventually manifest into physical attacks very soon. This kid knows she gets away with everything, and with no one willing to reign her in, she will soon graduate to even worse arracks. *Do NOT LET IT GET THAT FAR* . It is the SCHOOL'S responsibility to *PROTECT* and *TEACH* those kids. If this girl is being disruptive and abusive to all the other kids in the classroom, it is ABSOLUTELY the school's responsibility to do something about it! This girl doesn't get to treat others this way. It's clear her mother is selfish, wanting her child to be in a public school environment probably because it's "easier" for her as a parent. There is also likely a stigma associated with putting her kid in a special class, and she doesn't want to deal with it as it would ruin her (the mother's) view of "normalcy" and probably the false reputation/image she's cultivated for herself in her circle of friends/family. Mom has her head in the sand and doesn't want to admit her child has issues that need MAJOR addressing. OP and the other parents need to work quickly to get this kid away from those other children ASAP before she seriously hurts someone. If necessary, contact the local DSS about this. They'll be able to put pressure on both the school as well as mom, as mom's lack of willingness to do what's best for her kid is a form of ABUSE. This is also seriously affecting the learning of the other kids learning. Those kids will be behind on their studies because of all the disruptions as well as being in a hostile environment full of fear. This is affecting their mental health and well-being. *SHAME* on those lazy teachers who would rather passively sit back and _DO NOTHING_ because it's "easier". It is THEIR responsibility to teach these kids. They can't do that if this girl is bullying and being disruptive. Yet the teacher tried to make this seem like it was only an issue for OP's child and completely downplayed the situation! *SHAME* on that selfish mom, who is doing her kid a great disservice by not getting her child the help she obviously needs. And *SHAME* on those pretentious, IGNORANT Redditers who go out of their way to protect the "rights" of one child while ignoring the fact that an ENTIRE CLASSROOM of innocent children are being neglected all in favor of this aggressive, dangerous, and mentally challenged kid who is a danger to everyone in the class (including the teacher). My child is 8 now, but was 5 years old when she went through being STABBED, PUNCHED and ATTACKED by a little boy in her class who was twice her weight and size. This kid regularly attacked the other children. Me and many other parents regularly complained about this kid. The teachers did NOTHING, actually showing SYMPATHY for this little kid and trying to sway us parents by saying the kid was from an abusive household and dealing with abusive parents. So why not call the authorities? They "didn't want to get them in trouble" was the response. STOP PROTECTING BULLIES!!! Being in a bad home situation shouldn't give ANYONE the "right" or the permission to turn around and ABUSE and ATTACK others!

[@2Ten1Ryu]

Man, as a girl who was bullied and physically mistreated I feel sooo much the pain and anger behind this long comment. I absolutely do. I have experienced what you describe, only that the bully was my own brother and the people who ignored it, found excuses and told me to "be the bigger person" where my family. I am still not over the abuse. well, I am mostly over the abuse and I have cut contact, but I am still not over the fact that so many people turned a blind eye or actually told me, solving this was my responsiblity. grown ups telling that to a 14 year old girl. Yeah... I totally feel you. You are so damn right with what you said. Those redditors actually defending the bully child either have a holier than thou attitude or have never experienced abuse themselves or both. I will admit: If I ever have a child I will probably tell them to hit back if the need should ever arise. Better to be repremanded by a teacher than to let the bully continue to walk all over them.

[@Rose_Bride]

@@2Ten1Ryu I'm SO sorry for everything you've gone through. NO ONE should have to experience this, _ESPECIALLY_ not a child and _DOUBLE ESPECIALLY_ not from their family, the people who are supposed to love and protect them! I'm glad you're out of that horrible situation and have gone no contact. I too have gone no contact with my parents for the exact same reason. I was tearing up while reading your comment, because you are spot on about EVERYTHING. And I HATE when people use the excuse to "be the bigger person". Why is it always the VICTIM who is expected to be "bigger"? Why is it that the aggressors are never held accountable? And where were those judgey, holier than thou people when you needed them? Keep doing exactly what you're doing! Ignore those abusers and enablers and anyone else who defends them! You are STRONG, you MATTER, and you are WORTH IT! ❤️ 💪

[@2Ten1Ryu]

@@Rose_Bride Oh, I am so sorry that I caused you to tear up! I didn't mean to make you feel bad again because you can relate so much. but I AM far ahead on my way to healing and I am able to silence the negative voices in my head most of the time. As for the reason why, I have found an answer at least in the case of my own family. I have forgiven my mother for her neglect because she is now able to understand. She was a victim as well, I have to say. She was overwhelmed and she was being manipulated. Plus, she has a very conservative view of how girls should behave and because I was rather tomboyish and didn't meet her standards, it was easy for her to blame me. Also, I kept much of the abuse from her, because she was a new widow (dad died when I was 12) and I tried to carry much of the burden alone. My uncle, on the other hand is an enabler. My cousin, his own daughter, was emotionally mistreated by an aunt, his sister, and he would turn a blind eye even to that. And I am just his niece, so I can't expect more from him. My cousin and I basicly have been treating each other when it comes to pain and issues from the past. She explained to me that her father values and idealizes family over everything and therefore bad things always are either a misunderstanding or never happened at all and everyone is actually good and nice and there are no bad people that abuse other family members. He always disregarded my and my cousin's feelings and told us to just get along with the abusers and forgive them. He can't face reality because if he did, his world view would shatter. I came to understand that these people that neglected me, might actually be in a worse mental state that I am. I came to understand that I don't need to center my wellbeing around their opinions and approvals. What he thinks doesn't even matter, because I realized that he doesn't even really know who I am as a person. I am grown up, have moved to an other country, am in a long time relationship, have my own friends and hobbies. I have my own life now, but according to my cousin, me and her are both still like children is his mind. Children that don't know better. So that's that. I am still angry sometimes, but now that I'm writing this, I actually pity him.

[@lizgawin899]

@@2Ten1Ryu i was bullied as well in elementary through high school and instead of doing their jobs and punishing the bullies they just ignored it until they got sick of my grandmother spying on the classes i was in to try and figure out why she found me in the halls so often and had me diagnosed with autism. She still regrets not pulling me out. i tried to be nice to the other kids but i was like 7 so what did i know? those that defend bullies need to get their heads examined. i get the kid may have a problem but the kids parents need to do something before someone gets hurt cause i can all but guarantee that if the kid hurts someone the school and/or the kids parents would be sued.

[@Tokuijin]

Reading the fact that your kid was STABBED IN THE EAR made me want to puke. I'm so sorry y'all went through that.

[@girlwiththeartfolder1854]

Story 2: This is what I really hate about some parents who deliberately ignore the fact their child needs extra help with their difficulties or behaviour problems, because "I want my child to be mixed with normal kids", excuse. How exactly is that going to help the child fit in when their behaviour is only driving others away from them? That young girl is only going to end up feeling alone, isolated and bitter with the fact her disruptive behaviour is causing more of a problem then helping. I understand where parents come from saying "kids should learn to accept others", I get that...but allowing your child to bully others isn't shedding any good light on them. The problem i've seen with parents like this is the fact they are in full denial that their child needs extra help or just hope the problem fixes itself. NO! They need to be there to HELP their child get sorted! Not leave them to their own devices. In my personal opinion, what the parents are doing in this story is a form of abuse!

[@thedestroyasystem]

EXACTLY! Pandaswife95 was saying this was somehow "adding to the stigma of mental illness" like no??? Having developmental/mental problems doesn't excuse being an asshole to those around you. The way OP described it, the girl sounds like a bully. And this commenter, who is supposedly a therapist, is 1) going to allow other children to continue being bullied because the bully is mentally ill and 2) refuse to get the problem child the help they need? That's called coddling, and it's a lose-lose situation. Just treating them like anyone else only works when they ACT like everyone else. Mental health problems is NO EXCUSE to be an asshole. OP has every right to want her child away from this toxic environment.

[@lizgreene7921]

It's all in words thank you so much!

[@KyrieChii]

Agreed. I also noted in my comment above, when someone suggested 'requesting to move your child to another classroom', that that wasn't going to solve the issue for the other parents who have come forward saying this is an issue. But more importantly, for the child dealing with mental health difficulties, in their future, the world isn't going to rearrange itself around her for her convenience. If this problem isn't dealt with now, it's only going to further harm _her_ going forward. And she is also being prevented from learning what she needs to in class because of her own behavior. Ignoring this & hoping it 'fixes itself' is only harming all the children involved.

[@freethebirds3578]

The parents who have decided that "there's nothing wrong with my kid" when it's obvious there is something wrong are evil. Who does not want the best for their kid?

[@sarahjade1993]

Story 2; I had a child who was deeply troubled while being at school and I ended up taking him out of school and am homeschooling him while getting him the therapy he needs. Such things are very tricky but the parents need to do whats best for the interest for the children.

[@beautybard]

"They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.." HANDS DOWN THE BEST QUIP IVE EVER HEARD.

[@marinam3809]

Story 2: My sister had the basically the same thing happen to her. Someone with extreme anger issues. Because of this, she was almost completley left out by the class. My sister and her friend “had to deal” with her because they would/could put up with it, which resulted in my sisters friend getting physically assaulted by this person. It was and still is a really sad situation.

[@leighnisbett9691]

To op in the third story,get rid of the house keeper ,that would make your wife have to start doing the housework again if she doesn't want to live in a complete mess .Instead pay someone to clean up after your son in college/university ,that way your wife doesn't have the house keeper wages in her budget.Your son can then focus on his school work /studies for his courses.NTA

[@robertx8020]

I wonder if the wife even has a budget? Maybe she just gets what she needs .. And if she HAS a budget? CUT IT! Give her enough to buy food! BTW now I get an image of Peggy Bundy from 'married with children" lol

[@didyasaysomethin2me]

Story 4: Jack has to deal with the anxiety of being at risk of homelessness? Just tell him that his anxiety is nothing more than a figment of his imagination and then sit back and wait for his head to explode.

[@Badartist888]

Likely Jack has anxiety or some other mental health issue. Strikes me as one of the guys who its all a front to avoid admitting their own "weakness".

[@katie6731]

I came to the comments looking for this response! It's ridiculous that Jack says that OP should just get over his phobia and anxiety, and calls OP an attention-seeker (from experience, the attention that a disabled person gets is at least 90% negative, and is one of the fastest ways to lose friends; if a person wanted attention, they'd give up on pretending to be disabled after the first couple of weeks) and then cries to his family for attention. Jack is doing an awful lot of damage for someone who is terrified of having no place to go. How hilarious that the parents' lack of space is more about not having room for Jack's toxicity, ego, and whining. What is Jack's goal with messing up sweet Ripley's training, anyway? None of the things Jack is trying to do give Ripley more time to be a "normal dog." It feels like Jack is mad that Ripley isn't paying attention to him, which is all kinds of messed up.

[@reptiles3244]

I'd say for story 2 nta at all I can't believe some morons would think they are children do not deserve special treatment because they have something wrong with them you should worry about the class as a whole not each individual student that one student needs to be removed period

[@marinam3809]

Story 2: My sister had the basically the same thing happen to her. Someone with extreme anger issues. Because of this, they were almost completley left out by the class because of their meltdowns. My sister and her friend “had to deal” with them because they would/could put up with it, which resulted in my sisters friend getting physically assaulted by this person. It was and still is a really sad situation. It was about the same experience with me. I was friends with someone like this, and she turned out to be my worst bully, physically and emotionally. None of this is to say mentally ill or neuro-divergent people are all violent, obviously, just that kids like this need more help than others and they should be given that opportunity. Everyone sucks except the children.

[@Tokuijin]

I think the girl's parents suck but not OP. If I was Op, I'd have found that little monster and, in front of the whole class, called her each and every last horrible thing, on top of telling her how her parents should beat her ass or get rid of her, and watch her cry, just to see how she likes it. Of course, if Op had done that, I can see why you'd say "ESH". Now, if all the other kids' parents all complained about that little monster, then SOMETHING has to be done. They're asking she be moved to a different class, not be expelled, though, maybe expulsion is the bigger kick in the pants that monster's parents need to bring them back to reality.

[@leighnisbett9691]

To op in the second story,if every parent with a child in that class with the bully asked to have their children moved from that classroom to another class ,the school board would have to look into it and try to fix the problem .Instead of a petition talk to the school board or ask for the problematic child be moved to a special education class.NTA

[@owl7072]

Unfortunately I think OP tried that already. School said "conflict management" and the mom said "welcome to public school, learn to deal with it" and refused additional help. I think a petition may be a bit over the top but if it can get more of the school boards attention to the fact that there's a problem then it works.

[@dragonsbanecannibal9378]

Agoraphobia: A type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Tough one. Where does the parents expect the school to move the child? From, the school's point of view, they would just be moving the problem child to another class; it wouldn't solve anything. We don't offer help for children with mental illness in our public schools this country. At the most, some school districts have alternative classes where they put kids who skip school, get in trouble, etc.but they don't offer individual care for children who are mentally ill. To put it bluntly, it's left up to each parent to look after the needs of their own child. Years ago we had lawyers going to court to argue for the rights of the mentally ill to go where ever and live however they wanted without, not offering any solutions for descent living conditions or access to medical care; now we have scores of mentally ill people living on our streets, self medicating with alcohol and drugs and shitting in the streets.

[@LadyCheshire95]

We had a girl in my class who would constantly "forget" her purse and say she would pay you back. I paid twice for her never got it back so I stopped. She would follow me and watch me eat making me feel bad when she had nothing. I asked her sister who said their parents gave them money everyday for food and the girl spent hers on snacks after college.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

Last story: NTA, I have a service dog, I would definitely be upset if someone untrained her. I have too many mental and physical disabilities to fully retrain her or another dog (during a pandemic no less)

[@paden1865able]

I hope that brother gets kicked out so hard that he bounces. He's a total jerk.

[@nerdy_evy]

Story 2 is NTA. OP described that the girl with mental issues is going deep into other children's insicurities. That's called bullying. Yes mental issues are not to be taken lightly and the child should not be excluded from things but you do not use mental health as a cover-up for the fact that they are being a bully. It's not a free pass it's something to help them through. since it was told that the parents refused their kid help that immediately puts it as that parents problem because I don't care what the child is going through they are bullying people and that needs to end. You can have the kid be in a classroom to have them learn about social norms and help them go through things but also being firm with them and telling them that bullying is wrong so that way they are still being punished for their actions but they are still getting help. They say it's for the girls mental health but it's at the risk of every other child's mental health because it's affecting all of them and now they're going to have a bad experience as well. the girl deserves to get help but if it's at the cost of other people's mental health it's not the right way to do it.

[@meralb7929]

MARK I JUST FINISHED MY ABITUR EXAMS I'M GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL idk i just wanted to let you know since i often listen to you when studying!!! i kinda gotta thank you too since you kept me focused!! i hope you're doing well!

[@rookie-870]

Congrats dude

[@MarkNarrations]

YES Mer! Well done you, what's the plan after?

[@bladerbeast3396]

I can't do my exams because of coronavirus

[@meralb7929]

@@MarkNarrations i'm going to study architecture!! i'm really excited!!

[@zapacunotres59]

@@meralb7929 Congratulations

[@moakristenssom936]

I can't understand how some people read story 2 and literally goes ''let's have all the other children put up with abuse and bullying and have them sacrifice their education so that this one ''troubled'' child can do what they want''

[@bronwyncrocker1049]

One childs well-being doesn't out weigh the well being of 30 others.

[@alexismyers6053]

The title story: what is with all tbeYTA's and ESH's? It's not OP's daughter is the only one with the problem, so she's moving the girl. It's multiple students having the same problem and now their parents are trying to move the common denominator because it's easier to move ONE child than SEVERAL. The disruptive girl's parents need to be hit with SOMETHING child abuse, neglect, SOMETHING. Their daughter is obviously hurting and they are doing f*** all to help her. And what specialist says that a child that disruptive should be in a mainstream class? None that are worth the paper their degree is printed on, that's for sure. I wasn't that kid, when I was in school, but I HAVE seen students who WERE. They're fits and meltdowns CAN escalate into violence (not all the time, but it does happen). Moving her to a specialized class is not only best for the learning environment, but could also potentially be best for the safety of the children. And how do I find where the commentor that said their a therapist practices out of so I can stear CLEAR? Yes, children need to learn how to deal with difficult people. But do you know what else children need to learn? How to handle their emotions, how to not be a bully, how to know when they are about to have a meltdown and alert the teacher so the student can leave and not cause more disruption. You don't teach a child how to deal with dif6people by throwing them into a room with them from 8am to 3pm five days a week (when the world isn't going to hell in a handbasket of course) and expect them to KNOW what to do. Also, this has to be TERRIFYING to those children to watch someone go from ome mood to another so suddenly and so violently. This girl is probably traumatizing these kids. The parents aren't petitioning to move her to stigmatize against her. They're petitioning to move her because she's disrupting class and causing unnecessary stress to ALL the students, not just OP's child. OP is completely NTA. Even if the mother of the disruptive child had a plan in place for this, it needs to be a plan that actually works and is enforced for her to not be the villain here. The last story, I would have told my family that unless they plan to take him, then they need to shut their mouths and take their noses out of my business. He is disru5and I am pretty sure messing with a service dog is ILLEGAL, so brother dearest is VERY lucky I'm only kicking him out, rather than having a chat with the police.

[@shinxgirl2947]

Finally someone who commented on the “”therapists”” comment like seriously they should be fired for what thus said because basically they said we should abuse children more.

[@alexismyers6053]

@@shinxgirl2947 I have had many therapists over the course of my 25 years of life- some good, some bad, my current one is awesome because she doesn't take crap from my controlling mom. So, I think that might be why it stuck out to me. It made me think of thebon therapist that became my mom's bestie and wouldn't listen to a thing I had to say, especially if it was talking about how my mom was being very controlling and abusive. I hated that woman and that comment just struck me as something she would have said, so I think that's why I couldn't get it out of my head, even though it was so far at the beginning of the video that I would usually forget it.

[@sugar4me225]

NTA Second story, why in the hell is that child still in that classroom?!?!?!? The school should've dealt with this situation a long time ago:(

[@Really_here]

I looked at the post of the 2nd Story and I thought it was appalling how many likes the posts dismissing the mental and educational wellbeing of the classmates got. They are just being outraged for the one child being singled out. There was this one guy telling about his experience in a class that was stuck with such a disruptive classmate for 6 years and the whole class lagged behind in their education ending as such that they were bullied for being in the stupid class. Imo the petition probably won't work but maybe it would work better to approach this from the bullying angle and force the school to document all instances maybe even call CPS or something similar to the parents for failing to give their child the help they need. Maybe legal counsel could help. You can't let the entire class suffer because of one child. This is no longer a normal class environment and can have severe consequences on the children involved.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

I sympathize with the story 2 parent. I had to deal with a kid like that in school, the whole class did. Instead of learning to cope, we learned that the squeaky wheel gets the oil and came to resent that kid. They ended up friendless and no one wanted to be their partner in class. I still have terrible social anxiety and a fear of loud noises from that experience. Everyone suffered that year.

[@potat04]

Absolutely NTA for the kid. I had a little girl in my class who had Downs Syndrome. My school was not equipped to help her AT ALL. She was usually good but when she had an outburst, it was scary. She threw a shoe in the cafeteria and hit me in the head. Then she moved to a special school that would actually be ready to deal with her problems and help her. I ran into her in the store yesterday and she's doing amazing. Get that kid the help he needs, he's not getting it in that class.

[@_Sage967_]

for story 2: while i agree to some level about OP's kid having to deal with difficult people I'm also a firm believer of self-defense so if a girl who isn't getting the help she needed gets her legs broken in an altercation bothering kids she shouldn't, that'll be on her parents. obviously broken bones is being hyperbolic but you get the idea, we have to deal with difficult people sometimes and if you want to say that then by that same token sometimes we don't leave with all our teeth. OP should talk to the hire up but if they get nothing from no one I'm not inclined to have them sit on their asses until their kids come back from a beating

[@Tokuijin]

They tried going to higher ups

[@doggothesavior9107]

Story 1 NTA he isn’t allowed to bully others for free food and he isn’t allowed to think that it’s unfair that no one wants to eat with him because he mooch off of them. Story 2 NTA I remember I was vaguely like that at that age, i when someone would say something that hurt my feelings I would run out of the class or throw my papers around and then run out, (I had seen this kind of behavior for a long time and I had seen how little trouble these kids would get into so I thought I could do the same). I really think that it’s not fair for a bully and a brat to ruin everyone’s education so that it can be easier for her. Keep going on with the petition. Story 3 NTA I’m sorry op, your wife is a monster and deserves to burn in a fire, divorce her immediatly.

[@itjustmemanning8441]

The guy in the first story turned himself in when he went to the boss. He didn't think things would turn back on him. OP had every right to explain what really happened.🧇🧇🧇🧇

[@julietshaskey5453]

Story 2, it seems like they're prioritizing the wellbeing of one child over the others. I've been in a class with people like that child and it's honestly traumatic. The things they said still hurt and children need a safe environment to grow and learn

[@sandyberger-r9j]

Last story: I don’t have anxiety, but reading about the way the brother treat the poor dog really upsets me and brings my blood pressure up!

[@sherisheepsworth8432]

Story 2, if the kids who are being insulted dont want to come to school because of that, then theres a problem NTA

[@Moonriverstar]

Story 2 NTA NTA NTA, what type of therapist suggest scaring other kids in order to heal one? That’s ridiculous, the other kid needs therapy and proper care from the parents and the school. If I was on that op situation I would go all out to protect my child

[@abigailwimbush5557]

For story two, I was that troubled kid when I was younger due to child hood abuse at home. Op NTA. I wish I had been removed from the classroom instead of forced into mainstream education where I couldn't cope (resulting in me almost hospitalising another kid). When I was removed from the classroom, I did a lot better and so did my peers. I am now back in mainstream education and going to university next year after time out of it with copious therapy after the death of my abuser

[@hothotheat3000]

Parents are always the last to recognize that their kid is screwed up. That’s why you always see serial killers’ parents saying “my precious angel would never do that”.

[@Kat-ov9du]

Im surprised no one in Story 2 cared about the impact being bullied spesifically about insecurites would do to the other children. If children are scared of going to school becaude of this girl they should not be forced to deal with someone who makes them feel physocally unsafe. Stars forbid that a child because of this developes an emotional or mental disorder because of the constant harassment and that therapist who said "yta" needs to re-evaluate their career As someone with PTSD and had issues in school I needed help I didnt get and was disruptive and violent and wasnt stopped until I literally broke someones bone. That person now has permanent issues with that and I now feel immense remorse cor doing so to the point im scared of myself because i nsver was taught right how to handle my emotions and now have to learn 20 years into my life. Its not fun, and I wish someone would have interviened earlier.

[@june7343]

When OP referred to their child as their CORRECT PRONOUNS. That's it I side with OP PERIODT

[@lucialovecraft]

Exactly, what an awesome dad

[@thedestroyasystem]

Same. I have the same sort of situation, good dad and abusive mom. And let me just tell you, while it's mind boggling that such a good person could marry such a disgusting one, having even one supportive parent is of the utmost importance. Especially as a young trans kid. Good on OP

[@tkb5726]

I know! That warmed my heart.

[@reptiles3244]

Funny that's where I said he is the asshole

[@Charles-sd7xu]

Yes!!!!

[@megaman37456]

Story 2: NTA AT ALL. Take from someone who used to be "That" kid throwing tantrums all the time and being wildly out of control, my parents got me the help I needed, I grew out of that phase, and moved on. Everyone posting YTA on this story are either incompetent, morons, or liars. Believe me if I had kids put into a class with someone like that and KNEW the parents wouldn't do anything and the school would just try to play it off, I'd tell my kids "If X bullys you again, punch back, ignore the teachers you defend yourself if you feel unsafe BUT NEVER THROW THE FIRST PUNCH, nor start the conflict. Only fight back if you feel it's your only way to get this to stop." Let's be honest teachers don't know shit when it comes to bullying, life lesson: You get bullied in the classroom, bully them back.

[@paden1865able]

I had a co-worker like that, I brought a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a jar of grape jam and told him to enjoy. He was pissed and yelled at me. Boss asked what the problem was and I told him the guy didn't like the lunch I brought him. Boss told him beggars can't be choosers. I was so glad when the idiot quit after stating that everyone was an asshole to him.

[@torukurebayashi1960]

"This is a time to talk to your daughter about differences, conflict and empathy" sorry, the kid can't hear him over the tears from the bullying and the clock ticking away missed free time from having to learn outside of school because they couldn't have learned in school. If that preaching shrink guy was my kids teacher, I would flat out take my kid to another school where they don't use that kind of thinking. How are the kids, bully and bullied, supposed to learn anything but the power of the loudest minority?

[@295Phoenix]

Story 2: NTA! The little hellion needs to be thrown out.

[@UncleMikeDrop]

It is perfectly reasonable to remove a disruptive child from a class especially when the disruptive child is targeting other students. At some point, the needs of the other children must be considered.

[@queencatherineofaragon938]

Story 2: I guess anti bullying laws go out the window the second it makes the teaching staff uncomfortable. What bs.

[@philwill0123]

This is more likely a decision taken above teaching staff. Their hands maybe tied.

[@queencatherineofaragon938]

@@philwill0123 when I said teaching staff I meant administration as well

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

These are the "anti bullying laws" They punish the victim when they come up to complain about a bully. That's their "zero tolerance policy"

[@victoriahackett8169]

As a teacher I’m saying NTA. I can tell you getting a child services takes jumping through ALOT of hoops. In my experience stuff really only gets done if parents step in and fight for it. It the parents of that student is keeping their head in the sand (which they are if they are refusing services) then these parents need to stand up for their own kids. You have no idea what “disrupting the classroom is” I’ve seen that mean yelling out, bulling, throwing furniture or other things around the classroom and so much more. This kid needs help and it’s sad they aren’t getting that help because of their parents.

[@kittenswithbows]

Story 2 - in elementary I had a voy in my class similar to the girl in the story. He had adhd and was increadibly disruptive, the teacher had to spend loads of time just managing him instead of giving other students attention, the rest of us kept having our day interrupted because he was continuously disrupted and he was also pretty mean and showed a lot of bullying behavior. In third grade (I think) he got a special ed teacher assigned to just him which helped some. It is so unfair to expect other children to be some sort of rehabilitation program for one child with learning and behavioral issues at the expense of their education.

[@Orinatl]

Story 2: NTA there is no issue/reason to allow someone to be cruel to another. Nobody is complaining about the child’s development issues -the problem is that the child is bullying others. Unacceptable. The End.

[@simana9891]

Story 2: when I was at school, I had a very similar experience. There was a girl in my class with some quite serious behavioural disorders. She didn’t have many other friends so she latched onto me, and let me tell you, she caused me so many problems. She would create drama and start arguments, she had poor manners and you never knew if she was going to be friendly or aggressive on any given day. It caused me so much stress and worry in school that I, also a child, did not need while I was trying to learn. So what I’m saying is, no kid should be allowed to disrupt their peer’s school experience, mental health issues or not. The kid in this story doesn’t sound suited to classroom learning, and I wish my parents had been more like OP.

[@CocoCece08]

Story 1 - NTA. I have a coworker just like this. If I buy my lunch (usually a small pizza), he'll go, "I want that." Like, boy, buy your own food. Good job standing up for yourself, OP. Story 2 - NTA. If EVERY kid has a problem with the same person, maybe it's that one person making trouble. Why should OP move HER kid when it's the other kid making issues. Story 3 - NTA. So... she has five days where she can do something other than hanging with friends? I work five days a week, and guess who does the cooking, cleaning AND laundry. Me. (My husband does help when I ask him.) Good for OP for standing up for his SON. Story 4 - NTA. I'd have kicked his ass out. Ripley > Jack every time!

[@Oddball80]

For story 2, FERPA is a privacy act for students in schools. I'm not a lawyer but from what I understand of the law is: Until the student reaches 18 years of age the parents have access to academic records and assignment grades. A student can sign to give rights to the parents but ultimately it's up to them when the student reaches 18 years of age.

[@t1995roger10]

Story 2: I'm stuck between a esh and a nah, simple reason is that parents of both kids are trying to do what they think is best for their child which is not anyone's fault, but the way they're going about it is where potentially they are going about it wrong. I was put in an IEP because they perceived that I had some sort of learning disability (I didn't, I just didn't like hw), I felt that IEP hindered me in the long run because I did not have any issues with learning other than math, and the pace of the class was not as fast. That being said, if the student is hampering other students ability to learn, I think something should be done whether it is taking the kid to a therapist or doctor for a diagnosis or trialing the student in a IEP classroom. Final judgment NAH

[@laurdiane]

i had an iep when i was in elementary school because i had a learning disabilities, and now i have mental health issues so i’m in the process of acquiring one again, and when i was younger i didn’t dare to interrupt class and the child in this story need serious help so that they develop in a way that is good for them

[@lizcatty9281]

Lol, your timing is impeccable, waffle king ☺ Just finally got my cheeky little fella 2 sleep & was checkin if you'd posted, when u did! Love it!😜 Much love u fabulous human! Also, love your personal stories mate! 💙🇦🇺

[@MarkNarrations]

Yay thanks Liz, hope the little one gives you some peace :)

[@lizcatty9281]

@@MarkNarrations Cheers! I'm gonna havta get him back up in a few hrs to reset his sleepin schedule again, so I won't get much (& have been up for 20hrs atm 🤨). He's a pretty awesome, easy kid tho really, so it could be worse 4 sure lol 😁 Have an awesome night man! 😉 xo

[@SuperFanGirl-gp1vo]

Story 4: As someone who owns a working dog that is an emotional support animal (was supposed to be a service dog but he has anxiety too xD) it is hard work to have a working dog be calm without a job. And that starts when they are young. If they don't have a job they will find one for themselves, and that can be a lot of trouble! Also, any person interfering with an animal's training which they are not permitted to train with is downright dangerous! Training is super individual and there if you do complicated behaviors you just need to know the animal and the little individual body language quirks. AND THE FEEDING FROM HIS PLATE?!?! That would be enough to never invite someone over for me! Human food can be deadly for dogs, or just cause bad diarrhea (which the owner has to deal with) also intelligent dogs will remember who feed them and try again, maybe even get bold and pushy with their owners. Which can be again super bad with big dogs.

[@katbell7958]

Story 2, NTA, As someone who was in a class with an extra aid partly because we had a guy with epilepsy. It was very mild so the aid could also help the kids who had dyslexia and ADHD. I remember this helping us as a class so much! We went from a "problem class" to a class that other teachers talked fondly about. In my opinion the parents who are not getting help for their kid are T A. It's nothing wrong to have extra help. So she can stay in the class and learn and move forward but also stop harrassing the other kids. I can understand the parents who are protesting their kids from harrassment.

[@builtontherockhomestead9390]

I wonder if the troubled child is learning anything? Sometimes parents are total denial about their child's problems.

[@charlottemunday7311]

Story 2: "your teaching your kids to look down on those with mental health and disabilties, they should just put up with it" - NO, your teaching your kids to RESENT the kid causing the chaos, RESENT those who might also suffer from mental health and RESENT the school system for failing them . - signed a former kid whose parents decided to take my education into their own hands when the school failed to protect them from bullies. A.K.A been there done that.

[@rexcatston8412]

2. Not the idiot. Whatever the kids issue is, it isn't your issue or your kids issue and the fact that her parents apparently turned down other options and responded with 'welcome to public school' seals the deal. You can't have mentally unbalanced people running around unchecked, assaulting other children. End of. I don't care if its insensitive -- My kids wellbeing comes first --a solid mile before the next one.. Best thing you can do is get that kid out and force their parents to take special needs options. If they're not going to do it by choice then eliminate the alternatives, rather than let the parents shrug their shoulders and get on with their day whilst their kid makes life difficult for everyone else.

[@robhatesyoutube]

Story 4: you're family is mad at you for not wanting to put your brother up anymore. He can go stay with one of them.

[@joimumu]

If I was in OP family then I wouldn’t want him ether and I think OP is a hero for just for trying

[@FizzledDreams11]

2.... She's not the asshole but shouldn't have bombarded the parent but befriended her to help them along and the family should be sat down and explained that yes their child should be apart of regular classroom but need an IEP teacher or person made for that to teach them the correct manners and how to behave and what to do. Kind of like a support person. My God daughter has this type of assistant to be in regular classrooms and its been a blessing. She's grown to be a functional teen in normal classes. I couldn't be prouder

[@sierralovat5498]

The moocher was the one that "narced" first. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[@deadlypants3654]

I have autism, and the girl in story 2 needs help. Badly. When I was a child, I used to have meltdowns every time math was brought up, every time I had to take a test, every time homework was assigned, and every time my teachers tried to engage me in a lesson. I had no social skills and no friends. I was just like this girl. If she's not in therapy already, I hope she gets it soon. Also, the girl's mother is hurting her child by turning down an IEP. The girl is already different, and it's not going to get better without behavioral support. The special ed team will help her learn to be as "normal" as possible. I do think that the petition to get her removed is a bit jerky, but I completely understand that your child comes first. I feel so bad for that little girl.

[@laurenmentink7401]

Story 1 = I was working in a call center about 6 years ago. A coworker of mine was a 4 star chef who had the job short term. His lunch was constantly being stolen. He finally made a sandwich made of canned cat food. I don't remember if his lunch ever got stolen after that. Story 3 = The wife choose to not work. She requested it, he never insisted on it. NAH. I hope his wife gets help. She is in mourning over the loss of her daughter, even though technically the child is not dead. She really needs therapy.

[@frozenkilt]

Story 2, that response "Kids need to learn how to deal with all kinds of people" is just such bullshit. That kind of behavior is tolerated exactly zero in any other environment. In a corporate setting, anyone like that would be lead away in cuffs.

[@janet6421]

We had lots of food disappear from my college dorm fridge. One of the other girls baked some ex lax brownies. The next day the second floor of the boys only dorm were all "sick" and mad at one guy. Stuff quit disappearing after that.

[@joimumu]

As long she didn’t offer the brownies then she is in the clear

[@janet6421]

@@joimumu She put them in the dorm fridge and labeled them with her name. He took them, pulled the label and shared them with his floor. When confronted she claimed that she made them for some medical problems and that is why she didn't leave them on the table with a free sign. The thief took full blame.

[@joimumu]

@@janet6421 Then that´s Karma :)

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

I once knew a boy growing up who had the same issues that the girl in story 2 had. Thank God I didn't go to the same elementary school as him, because I remember one day we were playing at the playground and I won some game we were playing and he snapped. He screamed that he was going to kill me and I ran for my life, not a cute game of chase, I was sprinting hard like horror movie character feeling like my lungs were going to burst trying to stay ahead of this bigger boy who had this look of pure hatred I had never witnessed before. I hid in the bathroom while he screamed for me to come out. But here's the thing, the boy was a part of a therapy program that had one counselor watching over about 9 children. So the counselor came over and used different calming techniques to talk the kid down, it was impressive, by the end of talking to him the boy was apologizing to me while his counselor told me about the kids he watches and how they were here to help socialize them and help there anger problems in social settings. I could tell this program was really important for some kids and I can't imagine why a parent would refuse their child a therapy service, especially when they could pose a threat to other children. The only asshole here is the mother of the girl in story 2.

[@toyairy7612]

I think the brother undermining the service dog could do with some therapy and maybe even meet some of the people taking care of OP to have professionals explain the benifits his brother is experiencing and the lack of quality of life he would have if Ripley got sidetracked permanently. i like the idea of giving him material to go over, but i think talking to professionals would have big impact.

[@4Just1Girl]

Hey Mark (And anyone else wondering)!! :) In regards to the child being petitioned out of the class of OP's child, IEP is just shorthand for Individual Educational Program. Meaning They would collectively set up an Individual program (And Different environment - setting to teach that child in) while Specializing a different set of supports and "Helpful" means of helping the child learn different ways to BEHAVE and to PROPERLY and CORRECTLY act, interact, and correctly respond to words, phrases and teaching instructions of an older and 'authoritative' (older student) or parental type figure trying to teach them. Basically it SEPARATES that CHILD from others of her peer group of children by Drawing MORE attention to the Physical and Psychological fact that due to her "Acting out" and being "Destructive and Distracting "to an educational environment and other children of her own age and learning intelligence, It boils down to being and becoming "labeled" as a "Special Education Needs" child/teen/person. (AKA "Special ED" kid")

[@carolcarol9982]

It think what the school is saying is that the "Trouble child" is normal enough to be in an ordinary class. Fair enough. Then that "Trouble child" is now classified as normal enough to be disciplined as such.

[@sandyjamison5929]

Tell Jack to leave Ripley alone or he will find somewhere else to live! Do not tolerate a beggar telling you, the person putting a roof over his head, how to deal with your personal issues. Either he supports you or GTFO. I hate when people involve animals & children in their vendetta. I really hope the Op continues to grow and get a handle on his agoraphobia, everyone deserves to be happy, imo.🤗

[@cronastar1172]

My old job was really big on giving people second chances ex cons. One dude we called him tweaker “ex drug addict” he started stealing people lunch from the refrigerator not even the whole lunch he’d go through it and pick out what he wanted, then eat it in the girls bathroom right next to the kitchen. One day he stole my moms iced tea drank it all and put the cup of ice back in the refrigerator she went to grab it and found it empty. She stormed back to the guys work area and threw the ice cup at his head he ducked and apologized saying he couldn’t help his self. She went to the boss and complained along with everyone else. He was fired a week later for sleeping in the rolled carpets on the clock.

[@bridgetbenson6291]

I had an IEP (individual education plan) and it is a wonderful thing now that I think back on it (20+ years ago). When I got it though it was awful kids and adults (some teachers) would treat me and talk to me like I was the dumbest person on earth. This affected me through out my educational experience so much so that I barely graduated high school and struggled each time I tried college. Now from what I've seen the thought of IEPs have changed since then both teachers and students are accepting and understanding to kids who need this. Basically I can understand both sides of the argument but at the end of the day it doesn't matter what either of the parents thinks it is the kid that needs help. The petition mom needs to keep her nose out and the mom of the girl needs educated on what an IEP is and how it can help.

[@jamestown8398]

1. NTA - OP was just protecting himself from being slandered by a disgruntled coworker. The coworker shouldn't have tried to scam people out of free lunches, and he really shouldn't have lied about OP to their boss out of anger at his scam not working. 2. NTA - That student clearly has special needs yet both her parents and the school are content to ignore that to everyone's detriment; the girl doesn't get the help she needs, and her classmates get bullied and have their education disrupted. The petition is the only avenue left for the parents to force the school to do it's damn job. I say all this as someone who was a special needs student; I was put in special education classes until I was ready for mainstream classes, and because of this I thrived instead of struggling. And I'm particularly angry at that therapist commenter who responded with YTA; she talks high and mighty about "fostering empathy" yet has none whatsoever to bullying victims if her response is "it'll toughen them up". And the fact that she talks about how hard life is for the teachers shows how backwards her priorities are - at schools the students come before the teachers, and any adult who disagrees frankly has no business being an educator or administrator. 3. NTA - OP's wife sounds like a piece of work. The fact that she doesn't contribute at all to household maintenance is a problem, but it's a secondary one. The main problem is that the wife refuses to accept their son's transition. Their son needs support and acceptance in this time, not to be misgendered and deadnamed by his own mother. 4. NTA - Jack is clearly making OP's mental condition worse, both in belittling OP and in intentionally ignoring OP's boundaries. OP should kick Jack out right now, and tell those relatives who still side with Jack that they can take him in if they care so much. This isn't just about OP's dignity, it's a matter of self-defense against someone who wants to harm him out of what can only be described as malice. Since Jack slandered OP with lies OP shouldn't give him a second chance because it'd be wasted on such a man.

[@RaizanMedia]

The 2nd story was NTA. The creeps who want to normalize mental illness like that are just disgusting

[@aliccolo]

#2 is absolutely NTA. I can't believe this is even up for debate. The child needs help and her parents are being neglectful to deny her the additional resources that she needs to function in a regular classroom. If this situation were happening and my child was being bullied, harassed, and having their education disrupted like this, I'd be in the principal's office demanding that either that kid changes classes or mine does immediately. And tbh if the parents are declining and IEP, kinda makes me wonder if the kid is being properly cared for at all.

[@suzieseabee]

Story 2, if a child was to give the problem kid a nosebleed right before class it would be a quieter class. Not advocating for violence but,....

[@Tokuijin]

That's the worse part about because, if one of those other kids beat her up, then her parents would be crying foul and try to sue.

[@heather.c]

FERPA stands for Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. The teacher violated those rights by giving out the child's information. I was in IEP in school and had IEP meetings. It's completely unfair to deny the girl help where it really could've benefited her throughout school. Keep in mind also, that depending on what her teacher, parents, and anyone else involved would have decide, there is no guarantee that the child would be put in a different classroom but just monitored. Depending on what would've happened, the IEP meetings (to discuss how the child's been doing) would be every few months to a year.

[@ecaterinavisan8178]

My mom often has to deal with kids that have certain mental problems. Let me tell you, 90% of the time, the parents are the worst assholes ever. They are aware their kid is a problem, they just don't care to do something about it. They expect everyone to drop everything, and go out of their way to make their kid comfortable, even when it comes to the expense of others. For some reason they are normal enough to attend normal classes. But not normal enough to be properly educated at home on what behaviour is ok and which is not. My mother deals with very young kids, and let me tell you, those kinds can go from silent to savage monster in one second flat. My mom literary had to stop a kid one, from trying to bite the other kid BY THE NECK. And yet the parents still didn't view it as a big deal, just kids being kids. Something that of course, pissed even more the parents of the attacked kid. And all hell broke loose on my poor mother that "refused to do something" if she took the side of the kid with problems. Or "was acting in hateful discriminating way" if she took the side of attacked kid. Its not my mother that refused to do something. She is just a teacher. Its the system. As someone who has a few insight in how the school system truly works from the inside. They don't do it because they actually believe those kids have better chances in normal schools. They do it because special schools or teacher that have specially trained assistants in class, would cost tons of money. Money they don't want to invest. So they "toss them in the pile" at the expense of the other kids and teacher, then try to market it as "treating them them as equals" which is a giant scam, because even if you want to treat them the same way, you can't, because they need special care. Personally I do think its sad on the kids part. Both their parents and the system could not care less to properly give them the tools to evolve in a positive way. They just try to shove these kids under the rug, and blame others if later in life they fail to be part of society.

[@artsybeedle4662]

Story 2: a little bit of everyone sucks here, op sounds like they care more than the girls mother but they are singling out a kid that has no support systems. IEPs are super helpful and would definitely benefit the girl. It would get the girl on a education plan that outlines and get her extra help when she needs it.

[@anavucurevic9536]

Second story NTA I've been there. As in my classmate had some developmental issues. The kid was allways making trouble for everyone. Especially towards girls, he broke one girl's nose by throwing a brick at her. Over the years it got only worse. He stalked other girl, threatening to sexually assault her. He destroyed other students things and destroyed them. His parents weren't of any help and didn't care. I can't blame op for wanting to protect their child.

[@celestialtree709]

Greetings waffle daddy. I wish you luck on getting part-time for Christmas.

[@MarkNarrations]

Yay thank you

[@pawline9011]

Idk why but waffle daddy sounds so wholesome

[@bladerbeast3396]

@@pawline9011 agreed

[@smileytuna]

Waffle daddy 😂 i love it

[@littleylvis]

Considering the channel was called Daddy cringe before, Waffle Daddy is both cute and funny nickname 😂

[@NathWalt]

Story 2 - NTA. Something needs to change in that situation, a petition could help force the issue.

[@StandedInUtah]

I believe all children deserve an education. This includes children with special needs. I also believe that ANY child who denies others the right to learn must be removed from the class. Sadly, we have decided that a single child with special needs has more rights than the 30 other children in the class.

[@drenandtarb]

If the school is happy to share information they shouldn't about that child, It wouldn't be a stretch to think that the school might not have offered the most appropriate "extra help". I'd love to hear from the parents of the child who is having break downs too.

[@fhuber7507]

4... NTA and evict that abusive brother.

[@cheskydivision]

That SAHM had a house keeper all she had to do was cook dinner and lover her child.