Hey Alecia. For the longest time, I used to think it was something wrong with me when people would disrespect my body. Although it's nice to know that I'm not alone, it's painful to know that black women as a whole are mistreated. My most traumatizing experience was at the gynecologist office. First of all, it was a male doctor, so that was already unnerving, then add to the fact that when he was examining me( as my feet are in the stirrups) he left the room, leaving the door wide open and then returning with two other men and pointing at my privates. He told me not to worry because they were students. After the exam, all I could do was shake uncontrollably. I couldn't even cry, I was so upset. I have only told one other person that and I was told I was overreacting. And you are right because most people do not think you are worthy of any kind of care and consideration. Sorry for the rant, but this pisses me off. Anyway, thanks for listening. Have a blessed day.
@JadeW111126 күн бұрын
You should report that immediately. Did You even consent to having students in your appointment?
@yolondawilliams507826 күн бұрын
@@JadeW1111 It happened years ago when I was really young. No I didn't give consent, but when I told a trusted relative,they first asked me if I was assaulted. After I told them no they then proceeded to tell me :"That's what doctor's do. How else do you expect them to learn." I didn't know what to do so I just kept it to myself. I'm starting to realize I kept a lot of things to myself that I should have spoken up about. Makes me a little angry and ashamed of my younger self.
@peace825025 күн бұрын
I’m so sorry that happened to you sis . Sending you and every one of us that can relate healing ♥️
@eun37125 күн бұрын
I'm so sorry that happened to you💜 it wasn't right, the doctor let you down
@myangimeowgi25 күн бұрын
I had a similar experience as well. This year, never been to a gynecologist & also a male doctor (old, white..), I went bc my birth control was making me bleed overlong. I take it as I have Sickle cell (+ despise periods & go into crisis when I have them). They had me in asking extremely personal questions, which I personally never like, especially as I was in for a single purpose. “Are you sexually active?” Peeing in a cup, probably for pregnancy tests. I already hate things like that, as being a female in this society means you want/have to have kids, want a partner, should always want your reproductive organs/periods, just bc of a physiology I didn’t choose. Like I can’t simply be a human being or a female who is *never* going to be interested in that stuff nor wanted them, like me. They made me do an ultrasound, too, and when I ask what for, they give an attitude..when I’m baring my body to them & pulling down my pants/shirt to my midsection. Next without a single word the nurse leads me to a room asking to take all my clothes off, not stating what they’re doing, so I can be “examined.” I put my foot down there, ready to leave if they won’t let me see the doctor for what I came for. And the nurse looks at you weird as you shouldn’t have a problem with it & should already know what’s going to happen. And the doctor has the audacity to be the one who feels awkward, trying to leave *quickly* yet not without stating he won’t prescribe birth control to anyone who refuses to be examined (which I know he cannot do). I could tell looking around his consultation room he was an advocate for always having babies & periods when there’s nothing wrong even if someone takes them explicitly for that purpose. He was even hesitant & barely mentioned options w/out the “blank/sugar pills.” Later I found out from a Sickle Cell specialist people with this disease shouldn’t take b.c w/ estrogen in it & that was my problem. Tbh I never feel like my body is treasured or loved or even respected (in the way God says it’s supposed to be), especially in these situations when they expect you to be comfortable with nakedness (not me) and to me…violated by absolute strangers with NO experience (or interest in finding out) being touched that way, with no sensitivity YOU’RE the one exposing yourself. At this point as bad it sounds, I don’t think I ever will have that examination done, even if I die from unlocated cancer..I’ve never been the type of person ok w/ that kind of stuff. Only in imagination or the books I read do I like it or will ever get treated w/ care or consideration I feel like doesn’t exist or is very lost in this world.
@yvetteboonecreates20 күн бұрын
When Black Women practice how to show up for ourselves...we can't be stopped!!
@jessica.777726 күн бұрын
I’m sorry, but she wouldn’t have gotten a tip from me. If you don’t have the color I asked for give me a chance to pick something else I WANT! I would’ve walked right on out. I can’t tolerate bad service. Bullies don’t respect nice.
@MightyYoni33326 күн бұрын
☝🏾Major facts!! I could not have said it better! I WILL NOT reward repugnant behavior!
@AleciaRenece26 күн бұрын
@@jessica.7777 I completely agree with yooou 😭😭😭🫶🏾💛🫂 I think was too stunned to even process what happened to me. 😮💨 Next time, though (if I go somewhere else), I'm definitely standing firm.
@eun37125 күн бұрын
@@AleciaReneceI respect your action of going back and defending yourself, we are unlearning a lot o behaviors that sometimes we bit ourselves down for one thing when we should be celebrating the courage of building new behaviors. So i applaud you for that
@chayo4537Күн бұрын
She's learning
@aminazebra24 күн бұрын
I absolutely hate that phrase "beauty is pain"... True beauty is actually effortless, true beauty is inherent, true beauty is 100% acceptance of self. CONFORMING to beauty STANDARDS is painful, because beauty standards are supposed to be unrealistic because they are one size fits all and we are not all the same. Our uniqueness is beautiful and to be appreciated, not shamed. So proud of you for standing up for yourself and staying true to what you know to be true for yourself. Your body is powerful and deserves to be appreciated, not disrespected.
@niax78226 күн бұрын
Wow, unlocked memory. I remember nail techs being rough with me, and me wanting to respond with violence 😮💨 Well done for sticking up for yourself! 🙌🏽
@tania007023 күн бұрын
I co-sign with every word you said. Either these creatures don't think that we feel pain or they do know and want to inflict it because it's us. Horrifying.
@levelupsinglemom614326 күн бұрын
First off...Im so sorry this happened to you on your birthday 😔 SECOND...I WISH I WAS THERE!!!!!😡😡😡😡😡😡
@michellelove390726 күн бұрын
good for you for going back! i literally paid and tipped, and cried. just sucked it up, i wish i would have advocated for myself. but somehow i felt wrong.
@TheRealLisasDiary26 күн бұрын
Your nail story makes me feel SOO seen! I am so particular about my nails and rarely get a finished product that I enjoy. To make matters worse the prices have gotten outrageous! I have been doing my own nails for the last few months and it’s been great!
@SpiritSoPoetic25 күн бұрын
I do the same thing, try not to hurt people’s feelings when they deserve it 😢 it’s horrible
@victoriaallen375325 күн бұрын
I got my four wisdom teeth removed a few years ago and experienced some rough treatment as well. I was so exhausted after wards and remember coming to the front desk to make sure I didn't have to sign anything etc. I finally got home and noticed that no one ever offered me any type of pain medication or prescription for some. I really felt like no one cared how well I would heal at home.
@FocusOnWhatYouLove-t6c26 күн бұрын
Oh my gosh I am so sorry this happened to you. I am so proud of you for advocating for yourself. That lady was so out of line and ridiculous. I have a very unique story to share with you about how I was so violated by one of the "top" surgeons at UCLA. I have never shared my story but my heart is so broken by how I was violated. 💜
@yolondawilliams507826 күн бұрын
I can relate. Sending you the biggest hug!❤
@aielianna26 күн бұрын
I’m only in the beginning but The Salon Life and The Meticulous Manicurist channels both have really good tutorials for low maintenance manicures and pedicures at home if that’s something you’d be interested in
@michellelove390726 күн бұрын
its sooo wild, I literally had a very similar experience for my bday (august 21). the nail tech was so mean, so harsh with my fingers nails, very quick and rushed! it was terrible experience. but its been like that since i started getting my nails done, I have told myself i am not going into the every corner nail salons anymore. i wont let anyone else do my nails until i find the right person.
@freedomjones298026 күн бұрын
Just started the video but this is very timely. I've stopped going to public services a few yrs ago as the medical and otherwise started to build. I do a lot of things myself rn but I'm working like to change that soon. Though it felt... purposeful. Im being vague but ye. Been sick asf these last few days. Probs should've gone to the hospital but I'm so scared to go alone & basically be dismissed. Had called the ambulance last yr when my chronic health issue led to being bed ridden/couldn't breathe/chest pains etc. Paramedics watching me struggle going down the stairs. Heart rate at 170. Didn't help until I got down. Hospital didn't even do any tests and sent me home. Said I was ok and there's no reason for me to not be able to move or whatever. It's sad but I no longer feel safe in this world, never really did but... I'm trying slowly to find safety within so I can find it outside too/community. It's going ok so far. Being a victim/survivor of various forms of abuse makes this ever harder. Soo tryna find healing within all that. Writing this made me feel... sad? But also ig proud for still trying but sad... cause it shouldn't be like this. Thnx for all the amazing videos. As a black non-binary women it makes me feel really seen.
Girl, what?! You went for nail service and they talked about your brows?! Wtf?!
@AleciaRenece26 күн бұрын
@@jessica.7777 EXAAAAAACTLY! That really annoyed me 😮💨😩💛
@chicayess26 күн бұрын
@@AleciaRenece🫂🫂
@AleciaRenece25 күн бұрын
@@chicayess🥹🫂🌺🌺🌺💛
@Sonnet641PaperCo26 күн бұрын
I'm sorry that happened to you, Alecia, but I'm glad you advocated for yourself. ❤ Generally, spaces like hair salons, nail salons, etc. never felt "good" or "safe" to me because I was always worried about whether or not the person I'm trusting my body with would actually treat me with care. It's amazing when they do, but it's so awful when they don't. But we all deserve gentleness, kindness, and care in those spaces.
@canissiat26 күн бұрын
I love those Korean spas. 😊 thanks for sharing your experiences.
@happygucci5094Күн бұрын
4:06 I am listening and I feel this in my soul!!!! Had my hair destroyed- multiple times, left multiple shops because they ME feel like the problem- say what? I went away and reflected on the fact that I am PAYING for my disrespect. Wow…. Alecia you read my life!!!!! 💗🙏🏽🥹🔥‼️
@Hannah-y2z23 күн бұрын
Couldn't finish this video because it Triggered so many memories of stuff like this. I have a good diet and I exercise because I don't go to doctors anymore and I want to avoid going for ad long as possible.
@Hannah-y2z23 күн бұрын
Actually ive come back to it and im finishing haha. Thanks for making videos like this. They feel really affirming
@sillybaby199025 күн бұрын
I thought I was the only one going through experiences like these 😔 So unfortunate. I’m sorry for everyone going through this. Thank you Alecia for sharing 💚
@TheCosmicWanderers8323 күн бұрын
This happened to me and I feel so seen with all of what you just stated in this video. I'm sorry that happened to you. Especially on your birthday, but thank you so much for speaking and creating conversation around this. Because it happens one time, too many to all of us. Shout out to you for advocating for yourself.
@Mo.Is.Queendom77425 күн бұрын
Hello friend! I am so proud of you for standing up for YOURSELF! I have that same struggle sometimes, BUT I have improved so much! I've set boundaries and not looking back!
@hellokitti0725 күн бұрын
Thanks for this video Alecia. I always feel seen and loved by your words and wisdom. I can relate to your stories on so many levels. Peace!
@ivyrae131825 күн бұрын
Wish I could thumbs up this twice!
@ieshasenter621725 күн бұрын
She did not respect you at all, treated you decision making like a liability. She was careless and seemed very unconscious of taking any consideration or acknowledgement to your existence. How rude!
@ieshasenter621725 күн бұрын
"People create the illusion of a thinner nose or how they would like their face structure to be using makeup" when I was younger and naive I used to think that makeup was more of an enhancement and that my own opinion. I used to take pride in makeup and all the ingredients that they used in the makeup I seen it as an opportunity I guess for more of a skin care solution. I thought very optimistic and creative, without much attention to the vision or the visual image that I would like to imagine for myself as in I want my face or features to be different or this way. Oh that perspective that you just gave was very different what I sought out makeup to be at all. Thank you for that wow 🤩‼️ when I first got introduced to make up I did use it for cover-up of my flaws and insecurities but at the same time I guess I just built that connection using my imagination of course also using factual information as well to kind of inspire me to go all in. I don't see it for looks I see it for the benefits to my skin
@melissawalters892220 күн бұрын
Yes , I so understand about the nail salon. I learn to do my own nails. No more salon. No more.
@MoonWarriorTurtle663626 күн бұрын
Alecia, your experiences resonates with me. I get it. ✨🌻
@jessienunez786325 күн бұрын
I’ve seen other people treated that way. I thought one customer was going to physically attack one nail tech because her work was sloppy and rushed. I couldn’t blame her. I got bad service before and later rescinded payment and wrote a nasty review. I’ve been fortunate with my extractions. They were handled by skilled, conscientious dentists, whom I carefully selected. Both had great senses of humor, were thorough with pre and post treatment guidance and priced fairly. There were follow up call before and after the procedures and I was able to heal with no injuries and infections.
@PhoenixRising-3318 күн бұрын
Girl i no longer service the nail salons. They are often unkind and over the years i notice they have begun over charging . Press on come in many different colors and designs. Save your money sis. Your beautiful soul and should be treated with better
@Leoa225 күн бұрын
Thanks!
@TheSacred_Altar10 күн бұрын
Yessss as an black young girl this almost made me cry and made me feel like seen, heard, and felt ❤😊
@melissawalters892220 күн бұрын
Learn to do your own nails. Celebrate by choosing a beautiful color. Celebrate you with color. I love doing my own nails now. Love it!
@SpiritSoPoetic25 күн бұрын
That whole mail situation makes me so mad for u 😠
@womanish26 күн бұрын
Yay you for standing up for yourself.🫂That was a micro aggression. I'm so sick of the entitlement and the poor quality of service while paying good money. Currently looking for a new dentist now too and I'm willing to book a flight.