why are Black women's bodies treated with such disrespect?

[@yolondawilliams5078]

Hey Alecia. For the longest time, I used to think it was something wrong with me when people would disrespect my body. Although it's nice to know that I'm not alone, it's painful to know that black women as a whole are mistreated. My most traumatizing experience was at the gynecologist office. First of all, it was a male doctor, so that was already unnerving, then add to the fact that when he was examining me( as my feet are in the stirrups) he left the room, leaving the door wide open and then returning with two other men and pointing at my privates. He told me not to worry because they were students. After the exam, all I could do was shake uncontrollably. I couldn't even cry, I was so upset. I have only told one other person that and I was told I was overreacting. And you are right because most people do not think you are worthy of any kind of care and consideration. Sorry for the rant, but this pisses me off. Anyway, thanks for listening. Have a blessed day.

[@JadeW1111]

You should report that immediately. Did You even consent to having students in your appointment?

[@yolondawilliams5078]

@@JadeW1111 It happened years ago when I was really young. No I didn't give consent, but when I told a trusted relative,they first asked me if I was assaulted. After I told them no they then proceeded to tell me :"That's what doctor's do. How else do you expect them to learn." I didn't know what to do so I just kept it to myself. I'm starting to realize I kept a lot of things to myself that I should have spoken up about. Makes me a little angry and ashamed of my younger self.

[@peace8250]

I’m so sorry that happened to you sis . Sending you and every one of us that can relate healing ♥️

[@eun371]

I'm so sorry that happened to you💜 it wasn't right, the doctor let you down

[@myangimeowgi]

I had a similar experience as well. This year, never been to a gynecologist & also a male doctor (old, white..), I went bc my birth control was making me bleed overlong. I take it as I have Sickle cell (+ despise periods & go into crisis when I have them). They had me in asking extremely personal questions, which I personally never like, especially as I was in for a single purpose. “Are you sexually active?” Peeing in a cup, probably for pregnancy tests. I already hate things like that, as being a female in this society means you want/have to have kids, want a partner, should always want your reproductive organs/periods, just bc of a physiology I didn’t choose. Like I can’t simply be a human being or a female who is *never* going to be interested in that stuff nor wanted them, like me. They made me do an ultrasound, too, and when I ask what for, they give an attitude..when I’m baring my body to them & pulling down my pants/shirt to my midsection. Next without a single word the nurse leads me to a room asking to take all my clothes off, not stating what they’re doing, so I can be “examined.” I put my foot down there, ready to leave if they won’t let me see the doctor for what I came for. And the nurse looks at you weird as you shouldn’t have a problem with it & should already know what’s going to happen. And the doctor has the audacity to be the one who feels awkward, trying to leave *quickly* yet not without stating he won’t prescribe birth control to anyone who refuses to be examined (which I know he cannot do). I could tell looking around his consultation room he was an advocate for always having babies & periods when there’s nothing wrong even if someone takes them explicitly for that purpose. He was even hesitant & barely mentioned options w/out the “blank/sugar pills.” Later I found out from a Sickle Cell specialist people with this disease shouldn’t take b.c w/ estrogen in it & that was my problem. Tbh I never feel like my body is treasured or loved or even respected (in the way God says it’s supposed to be), especially in these situations when they expect you to be comfortable with nakedness (not me) and to me…violated by absolute strangers with NO experience (or interest in finding out) being touched that way, with no sensitivity YOU’RE the one exposing yourself. At this point as bad it sounds, I don’t think I ever will have that examination done, even if I die from unlocated cancer..I’ve never been the type of person ok w/ that kind of stuff. Only in imagination or the books I read do I like it or will ever get treated w/ care or consideration I feel like doesn’t exist or is very lost in this world.

[@yvetteboonecreates]

When Black Women practice how to show up for ourselves...we can't be stopped!!

[@jessica.7777]

I’m sorry, but she wouldn’t have gotten a tip from me. If you don’t have the color I asked for give me a chance to pick something else I WANT! I would’ve walked right on out. I can’t tolerate bad service. Bullies don’t respect nice.

[@MightyYoni333]

☝🏾Major facts!! I could not have said it better! I WILL NOT reward repugnant behavior!

[@AleciaRenece]

@@jessica.7777 I completely agree with yooou 😭😭😭🫶🏾💛🫂 I think was too stunned to even process what happened to me. 😮‍💨 Next time, though (if I go somewhere else), I'm definitely standing firm.

[@eun371]

​@@AleciaReneceI respect your action of going back and defending yourself, we are unlearning a lot o behaviors that sometimes we bit ourselves down for one thing when we should be celebrating the courage of building new behaviors. So i applaud you for that

[@chayo4537]

She's learning

[@aminazebra]

I absolutely hate that phrase "beauty is pain"... True beauty is actually effortless, true beauty is inherent, true beauty is 100% acceptance of self. CONFORMING to beauty STANDARDS is painful, because beauty standards are supposed to be unrealistic because they are one size fits all and we are not all the same. Our uniqueness is beautiful and to be appreciated, not shamed. So proud of you for standing up for yourself and staying true to what you know to be true for yourself. Your body is powerful and deserves to be appreciated, not disrespected.

[@niax782]

Wow, unlocked memory. I remember nail techs being rough with me, and me wanting to respond with violence 😮‍💨 Well done for sticking up for yourself! 🙌🏽

[@tania0070]

I co-sign with every word you said. Either these creatures don't think that we feel pain or they do know and want to inflict it because it's us. Horrifying.

[@levelupsinglemom6143]

First off...Im so sorry this happened to you on your birthday 😔 SECOND...I WISH I WAS THERE!!!!!😡😡😡😡😡😡

[@michellelove3907]

good for you for going back! i literally paid and tipped, and cried. just sucked it up, i wish i would have advocated for myself. but somehow i felt wrong.

[@TheRealLisasDiary]

Your nail story makes me feel SOO seen! I am so particular about my nails and rarely get a finished product that I enjoy. To make matters worse the prices have gotten outrageous! I have been doing my own nails for the last few months and it’s been great!

[@SpiritSoPoetic]

I do the same thing, try not to hurt people’s feelings when they deserve it 😢 it’s horrible

[@victoriaallen3753]

I got my four wisdom teeth removed a few years ago and experienced some rough treatment as well. I was so exhausted after wards and remember coming to the front desk to make sure I didn't have to sign anything etc. I finally got home and noticed that no one ever offered me any type of pain medication or prescription for some. I really felt like no one cared how well I would heal at home.

[@FocusOnWhatYouLove-t6c]

Oh my gosh I am so sorry this happened to you. I am so proud of you for advocating for yourself. That lady was so out of line and ridiculous. I have a very unique story to share with you about how I was so violated by one of the "top" surgeons at UCLA. I have never shared my story but my heart is so broken by how I was violated. 💜

[@yolondawilliams5078]

I can relate. Sending you the biggest hug!❤

[@aielianna]

I’m only in the beginning but The Salon Life and The Meticulous Manicurist channels both have really good tutorials for low maintenance manicures and pedicures at home if that’s something you’d be interested in

[@michellelove3907]

its sooo wild, I literally had a very similar experience for my bday (august 21). the nail tech was so mean, so harsh with my fingers nails, very quick and rushed! it was terrible experience. but its been like that since i started getting my nails done, I have told myself i am not going into the every corner nail salons anymore. i wont let anyone else do my nails until i find the right person.

[@freedomjones2980]

Just started the video but this is very timely. I've stopped going to public services a few yrs ago as the medical and otherwise started to build. I do a lot of things myself rn but I'm working like to change that soon. Though it felt... purposeful. Im being vague but ye. Been sick asf these last few days. Probs should've gone to the hospital but I'm so scared to go alone & basically be dismissed. Had called the ambulance last yr when my chronic health issue led to being bed ridden/couldn't breathe/chest pains etc. Paramedics watching me struggle going down the stairs. Heart rate at 170. Didn't help until I got down. Hospital didn't even do any tests and sent me home. Said I was ok and there's no reason for me to not be able to move or whatever. It's sad but I no longer feel safe in this world, never really did but... I'm trying slowly to find safety within so I can find it outside too/community. It's going ok so far. Being a victim/survivor of various forms of abuse makes this ever harder. Soo tryna find healing within all that. Writing this made me feel... sad? But also ig proud for still trying but sad... cause it shouldn't be like this. Thnx for all the amazing videos. As a black non-binary women it makes me feel really seen.

[@HannahGrace777]

Hello beautiful person 💖

[@AleciaRenece]

@@HannahGrace777 Hiiiiiiiii! 🫂💛🌺💐🌻🫶🏾 Happy Mondaaaaaaaaay!

[@jessica.7777]

Girl, what?! You went for nail service and they talked about your brows?! Wtf?!

[@AleciaRenece]

@@jessica.7777 EXAAAAAACTLY! That really annoyed me 😮‍💨😩💛

[@chicayess]

@@AleciaRenece🫂🫂

[@AleciaRenece]

@@chicayess🥹🫂🌺🌺🌺💛

[@Sonnet641PaperCo]

I'm sorry that happened to you, Alecia, but I'm glad you advocated for yourself. ❤ Generally, spaces like hair salons, nail salons, etc. never felt "good" or "safe" to me because I was always worried about whether or not the person I'm trusting my body with would actually treat me with care. It's amazing when they do, but it's so awful when they don't. But we all deserve gentleness, kindness, and care in those spaces.

[@canissiat]

I love those Korean spas. 😊 thanks for sharing your experiences.

[@happygucci5094]

4:06 I am listening and I feel this in my soul!!!! Had my hair destroyed- multiple times, left multiple shops because they ME feel like the problem- say what? I went away and reflected on the fact that I am PAYING for my disrespect. Wow…. Alecia you read my life!!!!! 💗🙏🏽🥹🔥‼️

[@Hannah-y2z]

Couldn't finish this video because it Triggered so many memories of stuff like this. I have a good diet and I exercise because I don't go to doctors anymore and I want to avoid going for ad long as possible.

[@Hannah-y2z]

Actually ive come back to it and im finishing haha. Thanks for making videos like this. They feel really affirming

[@sillybaby1990]

I thought I was the only one going through experiences like these 😔 So unfortunate. I’m sorry for everyone going through this. Thank you Alecia for sharing 💚

[@TheCosmicWanderers83]

This happened to me and I feel so seen with all of what you just stated in this video. I'm sorry that happened to you. Especially on your birthday, but thank you so much for speaking and creating conversation around this. Because it happens one time, too many to all of us. Shout out to you for advocating for yourself.

[@Mo.Is.Queendom774]

Hello friend! I am so proud of you for standing up for YOURSELF! I have that same struggle sometimes, BUT I have improved so much! I've set boundaries and not looking back!

[@hellokitti07]

Thanks for this video Alecia. I always feel seen and loved by your words and wisdom. I can relate to your stories on so many levels. Peace!

[@ivyrae1318]

Wish I could thumbs up this twice!

[@ieshasenter6217]

She did not respect you at all, treated you decision making like a liability. She was careless and seemed very unconscious of taking any consideration or acknowledgement to your existence. How rude!

[@ieshasenter6217]

"People create the illusion of a thinner nose or how they would like their face structure to be using makeup" when I was younger and naive I used to think that makeup was more of an enhancement and that my own opinion. I used to take pride in makeup and all the ingredients that they used in the makeup I seen it as an opportunity I guess for more of a skin care solution. I thought very optimistic and creative, without much attention to the vision or the visual image that I would like to imagine for myself as in I want my face or features to be different or this way. Oh that perspective that you just gave was very different what I sought out makeup to be at all. Thank you for that wow 🤩‼️ when I first got introduced to make up I did use it for cover-up of my flaws and insecurities but at the same time I guess I just built that connection using my imagination of course also using factual information as well to kind of inspire me to go all in. I don't see it for looks I see it for the benefits to my skin

[@melissawalters8922]

Yes , I so understand about the nail salon. I learn to do my own nails. No more salon. No more.

[@MoonWarriorTurtle6636]

Alecia, your experiences resonates with me. I get it. ✨🌻

[@jessienunez7863]

I’ve seen other people treated that way. I thought one customer was going to physically attack one nail tech because her work was sloppy and rushed. I couldn’t blame her. I got bad service before and later rescinded payment and wrote a nasty review. I’ve been fortunate with my extractions. They were handled by skilled, conscientious dentists, whom I carefully selected. Both had great senses of humor, were thorough with pre and post treatment guidance and priced fairly. There were follow up call before and after the procedures and I was able to heal with no injuries and infections.

[@PhoenixRising-33]

Girl i no longer service the nail salons. They are often unkind and over the years i notice they have begun over charging . Press on come in many different colors and designs. Save your money sis. Your beautiful soul and should be treated with better

[@Leoa2]

Thanks!

[@TheSacred_Altar]

Yessss as an black young girl this almost made me cry and made me feel like seen, heard, and felt ❤😊

[@melissawalters8922]

Learn to do your own nails. Celebrate by choosing a beautiful color. Celebrate you with color. I love doing my own nails now. Love it!

[@SpiritSoPoetic]

That whole mail situation makes me so mad for u 😠

[@womanish]

Yay you for standing up for yourself.🫂That was a micro aggression. I'm so sick of the entitlement and the poor quality of service while paying good money. Currently looking for a new dentist now too and I'm willing to book a flight.