Why Do We Repress Memories?

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

What's helped you on your journey of processing and healing childhood trauma? Let me know in the comments 👇

[@dianeetchells9963]

I can remember before I was 2 years old,I remember EVERYTHING, but I also think there is something missing.

[@beckyf2991]

Working with a therapist who uses tapping is helping me the most. I had done 5 years of talk therapy years ago, but it didn't ever get close to my trauma. But tapping brings it up so quickly, and helps me deal with it and get through it. My therapist is so adept at pointing me in the right direction, then letting me find my way to that day's natural endpoint and resolution. Each session gets closer to the heart of the trauma.

[@BeFree-J9]

I tend to block things out of me and my mother as a child but my body remembered. I did not want her touching me ever. I'd clam up. Sweat. Want vodka to calm me down. She just always freaked me out but I didn't remember. Well last Thanksgiving after over a year no contact. She came up and scared me so bad. I was so scared but knew not to move and just watch her change faces and just become different entitie like tactics to get me to react but I actually for the first time in my life, felt like a little girl being scared. I was me in that moment and felt what I went through as a little baby even. She was pure evil. It took me 3 days to function and to actually be able to speak. I was just in such a literal paralysis. I saw myself and wanted to give myself a hug so bad. Poor kid. I've noticed since I almost died due to Endocarditis and Kidney failure. I healed myself by myself. Mentally, physically, spiritually I mean in ways surreal. I'm off Dialysis and alive! I have a very sweet and simple life now. It's just me and my kitties. Lol Now as you said perfectly, I have a safe space to actually FEEL my emotions freely and go through it all. It's been an amazing raw ride. Your mind and body definitely go hand and in hand! I've been receiving more memories and insight. I'm excited for the next level. .

[@ia9259]

I was quite aware I had gone through some difficulties but I realized I have suffered trauma only during the pandemic and on the Internet. I have a toxic family and I can never discuss things so I relied on videos such as yours. It's also not in our culture in Africa to seek therapy as easily as in the West and it's not always available so I looked for answers where I could I'm still not the best and the happiest but I'm more aware I think or hope :)

[@ariadnewolf8218]

I experienced repressed memories for the first time when I was 18. I had just moved away from my parents' house and that was the first time I started to feel safe. When I look back at who I was before the memories, I barely recognize that person. I was terribly shy, I felt guilty and ashamed all the time, and I never took emotional or social risks. I was a shell of a person. When I think about repressed memories, I think about that transformation I underwent. I don't remember exactly what happened to me, but I remember enough to know how bad it was. The physical symptoms in my body match the narrative of my memories. That's enough.

[@jeanniecampbell1374]

counting to 10 before I make a knee jerk reaction , and using the sentence ..'let me have a think ..I'll get back to you on that one " also being the observer of myself when I feel in a vulnerable situation .

[@janetlink3626]

I started to experience flashbacks and short flashes of memories of sexual abuse shortly after Covid started. These caused anxiety and panic attack's. I totally did not understand them and doubted what i was feeling and seeing. I decided to seek help but it took me several therapists till I found the one who could help me or understood what I was going though. Sometimes it seems like this process will take forever. But I am committed to working through this since I can now see how this has effected me so much through out my life and did not realize it was really the catalyst for many of my issues. Just working through the levels of self hatred and toxic shame has been daunting, but I realize that having these flashbacks come up have really been a blessing in disguise.

[@karenharvey2549]

I am a poet, so writing isnatural fir me so journal therapy with an experienced existential/journal psychotherapist over a knumbef of yesrs has reduced the emotional sympoms of CPTSD greatly but i stil have chronic pain/fibro. I also live on fhe beach and wild swimming all year round helps me be in the moment/grounds me. It also reduces pain little. I enjoy listening to your explanations, intereiews etc.

[@marilynoverton8142]

Fantastic content! Thank you so much! What has helped me process early trauma is talking it out with a caring person who is understanding and validating.

[@sharonhearne5014]

I can recall being locked in a crawlspace in the upstairs at our house as a child by my mother as punishment as well as being locked in an armoire in that same upstairs bedroom as a young child. I was probably about four years old. These memories are somewhat hazy and vague which I can liken to a small photo of the entry to the crawlspace door and of being stuffed inside in a terrifyingly tight space. I am still paranoid of being stuck in tight confined spaces. Part of what makes it feel terrifying is the snapshot quality as if an unseen hand is aiming a camera.

[@aluna_m888]

I recently had an early childhood memory, and that was triggered by mum mum; poor thing she had to endure so much physical pain because of my dad violent ways. The memory had came up with a lot of pain; it was awful. It was so hard to endure and bare, but I question it, I told myself I am not a 6 year old and I am safe. That man can’t hurt us! And I picked myself up since. I had to accept the pain, and to just let it go. It’s just something I don’t have to ever endure; world has changed and I am safe.

[@tarazenker5582]

Very clear explanation. Thank you. I began remembering childhood incest in Primal Therapy. It was traumatic as often I hadn't left the emotions of the memory when the session ended. So I remained emotionally traumatised for some time. I've reached a point in my life where I know some of what happened, which is a huge relief, but don't want to know more because it was so traumatising. I guess we reach a point of knowing 'enough' and don't have to keep returning to the trauma.

[@Reflectionsfrompoetryandwords]

Thanks Alex.. Can you make a video on why I do feel like I have slowed down in my process of healing but cannot get more things done like I did before?

[@solemates2410]

Please address health anxiety and cbt for it!

[@lisa8990]

Thank you Alex. I am working on my trauma but I have so much to work on, I don't know where to begin. I have a Psychologist but it seems that we just talk about what's going on in my life now.

[@evelinel.9827]

Check out Somatic Experiencing for trauma healing. Just talking (not processing emotions, not learning tools to regulate your nervous system) does not in my experience heal the trauma in one's nervous system.

[@kkendell954]

Amazing content ❤

[@jillychandler]

I have not been able to find a therapist who I feel a connection with yet, and I have had to pay for them, even though I am on a pension, and there is no spare money, but I just want to get help so much. I just need to be heard, as I feel all of my life, I have not been, from way back when I was an unhappy child at school. xxx

[@janetlink3626]

Being heard and validated is very important to help you start your healing journey. So don't give up. Keep looking. You will find the right therapist. Look for one that specializes in trauma or doing inner childhood work. Sending you a virtual hug 🤗

[@jillychandler]

@@janetlink3626 Thank you, and I am sending your a virtual hug right back. xxx

[@sheering09]

I hear you Jilly! Firstly, being a pensioner myself, I appreciate the associated financial chalenges... And secondly, finding a therapist with whom you can connect is an essential for healing. Definitely look for a trauma specialist. But also, it might be worth speaking to MIND who offer a Pay What You Can Afford Service - they might be able to help you. My last counsellor was through MIND and I was referred by my GP (so it was free) - although I know this can be a postcode lottery these days.... Sending you virtual hugs x

[@jillychandler]

@@sheering09 Thank you shering09 - I have never thought I have been heard, all through my life. I am now 66 years young, and need to find a way forward, as I feel so blessed that I have lasted this long! I did try MIND, but because I drink to blot out all the horrible things, they were not able to help me?! I keep going around in circles, and I know I am not the only one in this world, but it can feel like that when you are living on your own with your dog! One day I am hoping to find a way forward, as I am optimistic! xxx

[@SBL19681]

EMDR helps me a lot.

[@jillychandler]

Please would you tell us what EMDR stands for? Because I can not find a therapist that seems to be able to help me. xxx

[@fedwaelmohri7687]

@@jillychandler EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing

[@christophebedeaux3851]

Currently, the concept of repressed memories has been replaced by dissociative amnesia (cf PTSD in DSM-5).

[@angelacarero]

Do you know EMDR and Brainspotting?

[@jillychandler]

This was wonderful, but PLEASE take away the annoying background music, which made me find it hard to concentrate on what you were saying. Only now, in my 66 years on this earth, am I really starting to understand who I am, and why I am suffering from acute anxiety, which means I have not been out of my rural surroundings since January 2020, and only go out to walk my dog. xxx

[@beckyf2991]

Agree, the background music is distracting.