Ali Express Random Item Reviews 2 | Ashens

[@RFC3514]

Gavel = the hammer. The thing you hit with a gavel = sound block.

[@its_mugs2508]

RFC3514 thank you i was just about to comment this

[@ArtyI]

Oh Stuart you fool

[@HappyCynic]

Also, English judges do not use them and never have.

[@jaykoerner]

@@HappyCynic yep it's solidly just a American thing

[@TheKyubiisaan]

eldospinks but they do use them in parliament right? I know they aren’t judges but still

[@InterstellarVulpine]

The guy from Game of Thrones, the Mexican President and Robocop each represent past, present and future, respectively, and they're watching over the birth of technology, who changed our entire way of life over the decades. The Ring Wraith represents the inevitability of death, and how it is always looming, while us humans hope that technology will eventually be able to delay it and, eventually, prevent it for good. I've got no fucking clue about the chicken coop or Squidward's house tho.

[@Chaos89P]

The chicken coop and Squidward's tiki represent our attempts at the subjugation of nature and the ultimate futility at about half of it.

[@shutereye2634]

It could represent our early days for the chicken coop where we tamed nature and put it under our will. While squidward's house represents our attempt at lighthearted existence through comedy, art and creation.

[@madamantium5547]

good effort

[@TarossBlackburn]

And they brought the gift of silver gavels?

[@Mr.Classic91]

Oy i think the coop and the squidward house is a euphemism about cocks and fishy enclosures.

[@elax4141]

I can imagine in about twenty years, someone will be in need of a weighing module, and someone else will say "Oh, I know! Let's go ask Old Man Ashens!" "You're right! He always has the tat for the job!"; they'll go to his house, and find a dark tunnel, vaguely reminiscent of the shelves of pound-land, and through this labyrinth of random tat, they'll find Old Man Ashens sitting on an office chair, stroking The Goose. He'll greet them, and lead them further into his domain, where they'll find five weighing modules.

[@cabbagepaws6595]

this deserves way more than 7 likes lolol

[@himiranda123]

cabbagepaws ur welcome

[@jackwalker3724]

Old Man Ashens and the Quest for the Last Weighing Modules. In a post apocalyptic world, only way to save the universe is to use the last weighing modules in existence, which is something only Ashens have for some reason.

[@noahbaker5192]

Future junk seller

[@defs8073]

@@cabbagepaws6595 laugh out loud out loud?

[@annaprataj2746]

Ashens: knows odd facts about the most obscure video games Also Ashens: does not recognize squidward’s house

[@KylexSheppard]

It's a children's show probably why

[@dRevnik]

@Teamgeist no one is too old for spongebob!

[@Yusuke_Denton]

@@dRevnik And yet, here we are.

[@impieman10]

Everyone here calling Ashens too old for spongebob. Nonsense, my grandma enjoys spongebob and she's 90.

[@kitt7555]

Original Squidwar'ds house is a bit older than te cartoon one, i think

[@TheRealAmericanMan]

I wish instead of a thousand comments about Squidward’s house someone could tell us what the heck the weighing module is

[@TheDestructiveGiant]

A module for weighing, duh

[@DiceRobo]

From what i could tell It's not for weighing directly but it would be connected to a scale and then it would output a more usable number.

[@AnonyDave]

HX711 chip, it's an ADC for measuring a strain gauge. One part of a digital scale.

[@golfman9290]

@@AnonyDave The other being a wheatstone bridge.

[@coffeecoffee5914]

@@AnonyDave how excitation-ing!

[@Amesuki]

Everyone: Yelling about Squidward's house. Me: IT WAS HIS SISTER THAT WAS ABDUCTED IN X FILES.

[@melatoninqueen6914]

Same

[@JasonSimpson1966]

I read most of the comments and didn't see anyone say "A Weigh In A Manger"

[@HappyCynic]

Enjoy the internet you have just won.

[@YouDummy]

Close the comments now

[@petergarner5991]

That was funny.

[@Jesse__H]

😂😂😂 🎶 A weigh in a manger a patch for his bed the little lord PCB lay down his green head The stars in the brown couch shone down where he lay The little lord PCB asleep in the hay 🎶

[@jazzygeofferz]

No more entries, we have a winner.

[@Nougatbars]

This is why I watch Ashens. Inspired madness like the Nativity scene.

[@Karmy.]

Yeah

[@i.i.iiii.i.i]

@strontiumXnitrate lol Your comment reminded me of a meme where some kind of artist enters a room in a museum and starts complaining xD Unfortunately the original is in German but it goes like this ("..." when he used English words): Where is here... Where is "the latest shit"? Where is it? Where does it happen? Where is the "merger"? Where is "fashion" here? Where is music? Where is architecture? I see some "prints", some posters. But that isn't it! Barbaros, what's the point of that? They get 100 years old now! I can't satisfy myself with this! It has to go on! Where are the magazines? Where is the "inspiration"? Where is "augmented reality"? Where are the "Oculus Rift" glasses? Everything is in the comfort zone! [Just like your sofa in the end :P]

[@wahjaifran]

"the hilt of sword is on the wonk" is going down as one of the best ashens quotes of all time

[@TheRandomHero1988]

Isn't that the pommel?

[@iaincowell9747]

@@TheRandomHero1988 The hilt of a sword is the full handle, the pommel is the thing on the end that stops the sword from slipping from your hand.

[@Fuzzycat16]

@@iaincowell9747 counterweight

[@gediminasa.1914]

@@iaincowell9747 actually, the pommel is the thing you use to end your opponent rightly

[@Wemius61]

Well, nobody's symmetrical...

[@Sirenhound]

I love thinking about the headaches you must be giving these companies who are trying to pin down what kind of targeted recommendations to give you.

[@yokelo7]

Amazing comment

[@kimgkomg]

Yes hello Ali Express, I would like one *software.*

[@RFC3514]

The weighing modules connect to load cells on one end and microcontrollers on the other. Did that help? They're not much use without the other two components.

[@ozzybwild]

*drooling "Bwut thwey twaste lwike stwawbewwies!" :3

[@ghoulbuster1]

@@ozzybwild Stop.

[@Psychol-Snooper]

Ah! That's what it is! But... what about those other two things. what are they? What do they do? What do they connect to? And what is is and what does it do as well?

[@ollieb9875]

You connect it to an Arduino.

[@RFC3514]

You connect it to any microcontroller or ASIC, there's nothing special about Arduinos (other than the fact that "Arduino" generally refers to the full package of microcontroller, board, chip programmer, IDE software, etc.). A load cell converts force (i.e., weight) into an electrical signal (typically based on deformation of a metal bar, though there are different types). These modules handle the analogue part of the process and output a digital signal (i.e., a sequence of binary digits). A microcontroller is basically a very simple computer that gives software direct access to its pins, to read those numbers and do whatever you want with them (display them on a screen, sound an alarm if they're above or below a certain value, turn on a valve, whatever).

[@floop585]

Ashens 2009 : "*sigh* I'm really having trouble with the auto focus!" Ashens 2019: "*sigh* I'm really having trouble with the auto focus!" We love you and your damn auto focus!!

[@ACOnetwork]

🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

[@katenunyabizness9221]

I like the thought that Judge Judy is part of the Judge Dredd universe.

[@Zontar82]

she is Judge Fire now

[@neilyb5012]

Kate Nunyabizness I would pay money for that crossover as long as judge rindder joins in

[@RocketRoosterFilms]

The spontaneous nativity scene is the funniest thing I have seen Ashen do in years!

[@colosalblack]

You should make a christmas special of this where you search for the names of the characters in the nativity scene. That would be hilarious.

[@blankpage9277]

Diy Ali Express Nativity

[@Gothicc98]

This is a great idea!

[@dmd8552]

I bet there's a nude anime statue of a character called Mary...

[@anumeon]

Title for the next Ashens movie right there. "Ashens and the Miracle Boot Jig" :D

[@maxscardanelli6185]

I second this.

[@Isaacfess]

He's gotta go to China and find the cheapest knockoff phone so then he can get the ID number off of it so he can make knockoff's of the knockoff knockoff at his house. Knockoff.

[@dylan_talleyy]

This man has a Ph.D. Let that sink in. Seriously, Ashens has a doctorate in psychology. Look it up.

[@shadowxxe]

for a man that's clearly clinically insane kind of surprising

[@AgentTasmania]

It has been a while since he introduced himself as Dr Ashen

[@Jesse-ej6jo]

@@shadowxxe well.. you work with what you know

[@chloejessica7961]

i will not let the sink in, not after what happened last time

[@DjIch1]

The weighing module is a HX711, commonly used in Arduino projects that have a scale. It basically allows to get a weight value out of a load cell.

[@skonkfactory]

It's an HX711 differential analogue-to-digital converter intended for use with a strain gauge or load cell for, uh, weighing things. It could plug into an Arduino or a Raspberry Pi or something like that.

[@Ellipsis780]

Yis! Translation: You need a scale-type-thing on one end of the board and a computer-type-thing on the other.

[@coffeecoffee5914]

How excitation-ing!

[@eyeofhorus4387]

English?

[@coffeecoffee5914]

@@eyeofhorus4387 it's a pixie wrangling device.

[@RFC3514]

> English? It's a weighing module. There.

[@lightchipster]

"I'm really having trouble with the autofocus today" - That's like the channels motto...

[@theaether3124]

Don't forget the battery constantly dying

[@MrDrokkul]

I think that tiki head is where the grass mask people live.

[@RIXRADvidz]

or at least spend their summers

[@CaptainApathetic]

Nah that's Squidward's house

[@sinisterteaser4464]

CaptainApathetic r/wooosh

[@intazoid]

Head Like A Hare r/ihavereddit

[@wealllame]

back to reddit

[@spidermcgavenport8767]

I could see someone playing a D&D campaign with that chicken coop.

[@spidermcgavenport8767]

In D&D Roc's Coop.

[@silaskuemmerle2505]

@@md_vandenberg most players use 1:60 scale figures (which is a bit of an old wargaming standard)

[@fr0ggi3princ3]

Spider Mcgavenport my friends’ and I’s DND campaign is weird enough for that to actually be used lmao

[@Blurgleflargle]

That Dali mask is what anons wear in a parallel universe.

[@LadyBloodyWrists]

Is what protesters are actually wearing

[@GmodPlusWoW]

Definitely getting some Mr Robot vibes from that mask.

[@anceptus]

Wait, am I missing something or nobody here knows about La Casa de Papel (aka The Paper House)? It's a Spanish Netflix original, really well received by the critics. These masks are the ones the Spanish Mint's robbers wear on the series. Pretty iconic.

[@Alex-fv2qs]

@@anceptus Money Heist is the English name for LCDP

[@ShakeItLittleTina]

The Nativity scene setup in the second half of the video was god damn gold!

[@MichaelLaneMonkeywrench]

We bring gold, frankincense and LAW

[@jimtaylor294]

"Loooaaaarrrh!" ... oh wait wrong franchise...

[@fatboygaming451]

Ashens you should send one of the modules to big Clive.

[@sound7846]

Das what I was thinking,

[@SlyPearTree]

I doubt he or his viewers, invcuding me, would be interested.

[@KelBShobra]

Fatboy Gaming yes!

[@Zellio2011]

What about Big Geoff?

[@nimoy007]

@@SlyPearTree I'm sorry you think you're the only viewer demographic out there.

[@sciohermetikum3902]

Cufflinks are one of the most professionally accepted childish things on this earth.

[@TheMrVengeance]

Hm, you seem to be forgetting about socks though!

[@1WEareBUFO1]

ties???

[@1WEareBUFO1]

giant novelty bolo tie: hold my Pabst Blue Ribbon ,y'all.

[@wolfponybotblast101]

4am in uk Ashens: yes upload now 👍

[@stonedbeaver]

5am in Sweden and I don't complain 😁

[@lemolea9571]

I know I'm years late, but for anyone watching now, the 'Weighing Module' is a HX711 analogue to digital converter, you connect it to a load cell and you can weigh stuff. It's like the standard one used in any hobby project involving measuring forces.

[@john_toss]

I ran away from the thanksgiving table and I’m watching this in the bathroom, thanks Stuart

[@MangoVisionn]

John Bruh did you punch your uncle?

[@poetgriot18]

Cant wait for the poundland christmas special and the advent calendars this year 😈

[@RIXRADvidz]

All Hail SKLEP and the GRASSMASKS

[@Chaos89P]

I saw an Advent calendar for "bloody Funko Pops" at my local GameStop earlier this week. I did not purchase it, if you're thinking me that kind of degenerate.

[@poetgriot18]

Dude I have to try and sell that piece of crap to people

[@thegorgon7063]

@@RIXRADvidz The Polish shop and the grass mask???

[@nimoy007]

@@poetgriot18 Your pain is palatable.

[@StPwnerer]

The tat-ivity scene.

[@EeleanorMorgann]

Here starteth the 10,097 people telling him it's squidwards house.

[@bentramer682]

I couldn't believe he didn't know what it was, but has he ever referenced Spongebob before?

[@ab-7788]

Waiting for the apology video.

[@jaykoerner]

Na it's a Eastern island head, which Squidwards house is also models over

[@bentramer682]

@@jaykoerner yeah but it was obviously a repaint of his house

[@ArCgon]

And another 10000 telling him Mulder had a sister, not a brother, abducted by aliens.

[@T4silly]

The best Thanksgiving gift ever. Digesting down with an episode of Ashens.

[@OnlyEpicEmber]

"It's sold, it's not going to break." **breaks it**

[@DevenBurns]

Someone needs to make a full beautiful art piece of this nativity scene please!

[@tobyLikesTrains06]

That was the best nativity scene I’ve ever seen

[@sockmonkey13]

This is my favorite batch of things you've gotten in one of these videos. Also, I genuinely loved how amused you were during the whole video.

[@theannoyedmrfloyd3998]

I bought tat off Wish. The prices were low and my expectations were even lower. As a result, I was not disappointed. Thank you, Ashens! 😉

[@lawrencecalablaster568]

I’m just here being really impressed with Stuart’s Dali knowledge.

[@KoolKman]

I'll do the 'Miricle Boot Jig" with Ashens any day me boyo!

[@floatpvnk]

I absolutely love that Dali story. Amazing 🤣🤣

[@AgentTasmania]

I needed this right now, Stu.

[@222o-u3t]

I swear, all your favourites are all my fave videos too.

[@Arakai13]

“You can get yourself a pair of gavels too” You already got a pair of ‘em, Ashens!

[@jpaulc441]

"A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to Ashens on your couch"

[@godslaughter]

oh my GOODNESS, that chicken coop actually made me cry, that is so cute!!! I love well-made miniature stuff

[@Moonbeam143]

They don't make Ringwraiths like they used to.

[@HappyCynic]

Ashen must be a woman.

[@mastermarkus5307]

@@HappyCynic ???

[@HappyCynic]

You need to have watched the last Lord of the Rings movie to get that joke.

[@kentuckyrex]

@@HappyCynic screw that. Read the books! If they don't get the joke, make 'em work for it.

[@jadedlaneyoutube]

I’ve watched Ashens off and on for years and only just now realized the best way to describe the way in which he speaks... he basically says EVERYTHING in a sarcastic tone and it’s incredible

[@thescottishfloofsquad5904]

I now know that somewhere in the world there is someone whose job is putting tiny judge hammers into equally tiny resealable bags. I want 5000 of those tiny hammers now.

[@bmo14lax]

I absolutely love the random word generator format, so good.

[@theearthmovertapes9714]

"I seem to have created a knife wielding tentacle"

[@AndyFletcherX31]

"Preference" is probably a 24 bit A/D converter for connection to a strain gauge/load sensor.

[@WilliamPorygon]

"The whole thing's solid, it's not gonna break" 😂

[@Jedi_Johnny]

Nativity scene with a chicken coop and squidwards house 😂

[@pumpkin79999]

“Well it’s not gonna break..... oh....” 😂

[@Reddles37]

Maybe the pommel of the ringwraith's sword is loose because he's getting ready to end someone rightly.

[@AlbinoAxolotl]

That made me laugh. A+ :)

[@Mythricia1988]

I understand this reference.

[@iaobtc]

Ah I see you are a man of culture as well

[@watchspotting]

Go to Alibaba and order a monk’s corpse that’s an actual thing. Also the gAVEL IS THE HAMMER

[@maloryfunction2260]

Link??

[@Finality88]

@@maloryfunction2260 yeah you could probably buy a knock off Link too.

[@iaincowell9747]

@@Finality88 👏

[@watchspotting]

@@Finality88 I salute you, sir.

[@hollisrivenbark7250]

The JoJo Referencer I could not find the monks corpse xD

[@ManuelCortez-tg7xf]

Ashens: "President of Mexico is probably a wise man" Mexico: "Economy grows 0.1%"

[@olivia6632]

President of Mexico: *commits Zooflillia*

[@Oatmeal_Mann]

No democratically elected leader is wise.

[@DoctorNemmo]

Den Roten Hahn So, are dictators wise? (Hint: no)

[@Meme_Lor]

@@DoctorNemmo no leader is wise

[@_rawr_]

Got an Irish spring ad after he did the Irish accent

[@Rokios]

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammers...

[@stumbling]

And the five Jesi said, "I am the weigh."

[@OutsideGalaxy]

The chicken coop is actually really cute!

[@magustg1]

Ali-Express isn't "technologically slanted" anymore, they're exactly the same as Wish, they have almost exactly the same inventories sold by the same people.

[@threadworm437]

But aliexpress is like... cooler..

[@powerrangermaster96]

i absolutely lost it when robocop came to the party HA HA!!! 🤣

[@manblackpm]

That mask would be perfect for tying a person to a train track.

[@aworldgonemad]

I lost it when Sal came back in at the end :D

[@smacksalad]

Egret level: I Please find a nativity scene in a shopping centre somewhere and add these items to it one by one.

[@hungryman123321]

Spongebob underwater fire logic would prove otherwise

[@bigbigarchive]

Candle being lit in Squidward’s house wouldn’t be too out of place in the show funnily enough

[@liammozz]

When you think you have ran out of stuff to watch and ashens releases a video. You're a life saver because I cant sleep

[@TheRogueAdventurers]

"A sort of tiki thing" It's squidwards house!

[@shiningarmor2838]

Squidward's tiki-tiki land!

[@MrThetronica]

No. It is an Easter Island head. Squidward lives in an Easter Island head.

[@dirtyasianmafia2310]

MrThetronica - you just contradicted yourself

[@SteelWithIt]

@MrThetronica Squidward's house is based on an Easter Island head, but it's pretty stylised; this is a bootleg of Squidward's house's design.

[@iaincowell9747]

@@LordSenile I'm not an expert on any of this, but my understanding of tiki heads & Easter Island heads is that they aren't related to each other. It's just coincidence that they are both heads.

[@Synystercheese]

The wise lego men came to see A Weigh In A Manger

[@wingster4804]

Love the nativity scene, but the Salvador Dali mask looks like it was designed for Marty Feldman 🤣

[@MrAeroHD]

Should have integrated the miracle boot jig into the nativity scene somehow. I mean it has miracle in the name!

[@matthewcb1970]

The Christmas season has started when the Ashens jingle is played.

[@chrisgonzalez5493]

8:15 looks like squidward’s house

[@stonedbeaver]

I knew it was something about SpongeBob. I started to think about him when I saw the tiki thing.

[@shitbag.]

Its like if Squidwards house and Patricks house had a baby.

[@N0VA_ST0RM]

This would be an amazeing plot for one of your new movies Ashens. xD

[@Inko_Inko]

AliExpress is great for small items

[@jimtaylor294]

Even Monty Python would've struggled to come up with a combination this gloriously random XD.

[@Zeon01]

The gavel is the hammer...

[@johnnyboy3949]

I like that chicken coop. If you were making a doll farm house that think would come in handy.

[@acehardy3629]

I couldnt imagine putting a chinese miracle boot jig anywhere near any of my electronics lmao

[@koibitonoyami]

Right? I'd be worried about a payload.

[@VanAleph]

Keeping your tiny hammers in a chicken coop? Now that's proper surrealist!

[@hicknopunk]

I really like the UFO patch.

[@thethingonlycatscansee963]

I’ve got one that says “I WANT TO LEAVE”...

[@aurtosebaelheim5942]

Clearly the Ringwraith is prepared to end his opponents rightly.

[@davidlemos1136]

Ashens can remember a lot of details about tv shows and toys from the 80's, but can't remember that is Squidward's house. I'm pretty sure he has seen it more than once!

[@Clay3613]

@Teamgeist So?

[@MamaAki]

@@Clay3613 Not everyone have seen Spongebob Squarepants.

[@JomasterTheSecond]

Ashens literally got Squidward's House and had no clue what it was. Lovely.

[@rockerseven]

Everyone is calling it Squidward's house, but no one seems to realize his house was based on real tiki and Easter Island heads.

[@jackpijjin4088]

It looks different enough from real Moai to excuse it.

[@koholos]

You’re talking about Spongebob fans. You should be lucky they’re able to string together a 3 word sentence like “That’s Squidward’s house!” Expecting them to actually read a book or remember something from history is, frankly, cruel.

[@gagne6928]

@@koholos lol. Good to know youre way too smart to have knowledge of anything as CHILDISH as spongebob

[@Kusanagi672]

@@koholos r/iamverysmart

[@koholos]

@@Kusanagi672 yeah, exactly! Spongebob fans are about the same intelligence as the average Redditor. Sad, really.

[@camper1749]

That bit of the sword is designed to come off and become a deadly throwing weapon.

[@richardeadon6396]

7:55 "Makes a pleasing tinging noise when you ping it" I'll be thinking about that one for a while.

[@YourDad-dh6fj]

I hope to one day achieve the same

[@FlowingBinah]

I honestly think the chicken coop with the hay is pretty cool lol

[@snesguy9176]

That mask is amazing and I need one. We are derp legion

[@kurdaitcha5806]

Its a damn Salvadore Dali mask u dingus

[@WILLYBREATH_v]

Salvadore dingus

[@LadyBloodyWrists]

It's a Dalí Mask from Money Heist

[@snesguy9176]

@@kurdaitcha5806 No shit I know it's not a Guy Fawkes mask, but it kind of looks like a derpy Guy Fawkes

[@yakadoodledongywongy8718]

That Nativity scene had me cracking up ASHENS YOU MUST MAKE STOP MOTION NATIVITY STORY USING THIS STUFF AND YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR YOU MUST DO THIS

[@jisuskitty]

“tiki head thing” squidward: aM i A jOke tO yOu

[@jamesvogt4739]

This made thanksgiving even better

[@chronicgaming3280]

Ashens..... The hammer is the Gavel! Oh and the fish tank decoration was Squidwards house Keep up the loopy content!! 😁

[@sockmonkey13]

That Dali story really made me laugh.

[@seannyyx]

"oh we had fun wi thee dance, but the accent was a bit racist" This had me on the floor 🤣 🤣

[@generalgk]

Irish is a race now I guess

[@The_Keeper]

Great nativity scene! 10/10. 😂

[@MikePlays00]

4:15 AM... you ok ashens

[@schalkespringer]

I really like these wish/AliExpress videos. Please keep on keeping on Ashens!Also glad to finally have confirmation from you that judge Judy is part of the Judge Dread universe.