Am I The Problem in My Relationships?

[@seekingthemiddleway4048]

If she were a narcissist she wouldn't have a good relationship with her kids and she wouldn't even be phoning in because all her problems would automatically be someone else's fault.

[@amendaalmonte2236]

Unless she perceives she has a good relationship with her kids.

[@seekingthemiddleway4048]

@@amendaalmonte2236 Indeed, there would be at least one scapegoat. But the fact she's willing to change indicates she's not a narcissist.

[@myahill7475]

Not necessarily… I’m a child of narcissistic parents.

[@myahill7475]

@@seekingthemiddleway4048 the scapegoat tends to be the most loyal down the line.

[@seekingthemiddleway4048]

@@myahill7475 I'm the scapegoat and it took decades before I finally cut off contact and wild horses wouldn't get me to go back.

[@candyluna2929]

If you are worried you are the narcissist most likely you aren't

[@disco4535]

This isnt even remotely true lmao. She cant keep relationships,cant keep friendships. There are different types and varying degrees of narcissism. And many can absolutely address it. Its not even uncommon. Insane how many times Ive seen that in these comments. But I see misconceptions about narcissists on a daily basis, so not surprising.

[@shanchan8247]

Everyone has narcissistic tendencies. Its part of self preservation. It just depends on the level.

[@Mistyfaery]

​@@disco4535that may be true. I've wondered about that myself. I think we all have levels of narcissism, if we didn't, that would mean we have no desire for basic survival. Lol! But there is a difference between having some narcissistic tendencies and actually be a narcissist,which is a diagnosable disorder that actually negatively impacts your own and the lives of those around you. Are you a psychologist by chance? I would love to hear your thoughts on it. 🙂

[@thirdwaycomms]

Brilliant and true 😅

[@GameChanger597]

​@@disco4535One of the greatest hallmarks of narcissism is nothing is ever their fault. That's also why they're so hard to treat/cure bc they don't take responsibility for their actions. So yes, most narcissists don't know they're narcissists unless they've sought a psychiatrist to tell them, and they are open enough to accept that diagnosis, and oftentimes they accept the diagnosis bc it gives them more attention or takes the blame off of them because "narcissists can't be cured", therefore, in their mind, it's not their fault they're the way they are

[@melanieb2132]

If you bother to ask that question, the answer is NO. Narcissists will not even entertain the idea that they are a narcissist.

[@melanieb2132]

They are THE WORST. This lady has issues, but not a narcissist. Mind you, we all have narcissistic tendencies, because we are all human and selfish.. some have more than others. The difference, in my mind, is that narcissists cannot see anything negative about themselves. It's ALWAYS someone else's fault. She at least admits it could be her.

[@disco4535]

Incorrect. This isnt even remotely true lmao. She cant keep relationships,cant keep friendships. There are different types and varying degrees of narcissism. And many can absolutely address it. Its not even uncommon. Insane how many times Ive seen that in these comments. But I see misconceptions about narcissists on a daily basis, so not surprising.

[@richsamuel2922]

1. Sam Vaknin 2. Mental Healness Both of them are right here on YT.

[@vaska1999]

Not true. Asking that question is a great cover for a narc.

[@mightymouse1005]

She's too interspective to be a narcissist I think. Of course, it's a spectrum

[@maura423]

The concept that if you question whether you are a narcissist, then you aren't one, is a little simplistic. Yes, many narcissists refuse to engage in any sort of critical self-reflection and would never think to ask, but some people may have enough narcissistic traits to be diagnosed and have suffered enough (or matured enough) to start examining themselves more honestly. And some narcissists "ask the question" insincerely, in an effort to keep manipulating people around them.

[@BFku36]

I think the word "narcissist" is thrown around like toxic confetti, and it's more of a problem than the "less than 1%" of narcissists that may have the ability to act in such a way. Although it seems pretty evident, IMO, this callers situation doesn't apply to your thesis. Imho, your statement would apply more towards someone with Sociopathy.

[@maura423]

@@BFku36 my comment was more generally directed toward the many people saying "if you worry you might be a narcissist, you aren't". You're right that the label 'narcissist' is overused - all personality traits are a spectrum, and many people exhibit tendencies that don't reach the level of a diagnosable disorder. Edited for clarity: we could think of insincere self-reflection as a sociopathic tactic, or a narcissistic one. Narcissists aren't necessarily *trying* to manipulate *you*. They might believe they've had a great epiphany about themselves, but their story doesn't allow for true change. So the outcome is the same, whether it comes from a desire to control others or to see themselves as the star.

[@russellcostain1682]

A narcissist doesn't look for help unless their closest attachments dissolve

[@mightymouse1005]

They usually go to therapy for depression or court order. But never because they think they are narcissist

[@Portia620]

@@mightymouse1005truths!!! Facts! You are right!!

[@iveyd8327]

Not even! Then they just look for replacements and discard those close attachments bc they are never at fault and see it as if those ppl did them wrong most of the time.

[@greeneyedmonster7806]

It's so hard making friends as an adult.

[@chrisboone2755]

Is it? I'm in my 40s and doesn't seem hard to do...

[@iveyd8327]

@@chrisboone2755it’s hard if you don’t have an outgoing personality, are shy, or don’t put yourself out there for whatever reason. You may be outgoing and that makes it easier for you, but not everyone is. I’ve learned to put myself out there and be uncomfortable and have made great friends in the process, but I wasn’t always like that. It was when my friends all moved to different states that I realized I’d been living in my little cocoon with my group of friends and then alone when they left, and realized I had to put myself out there and be uncomfortable to make new friends. But I’m super shy, a homebody, and super uncomfortable putting myself out there.

[@RUN_IT_UP_]

You have a dull brain huh lmfao​@@chrisboone2755

[@chrisboone2755]

@@iveyd8327 What you said is true, yes. That doesn't have anything to do with being an adult vs younger really does it? Shy kids in grade school don't make friends easy either.

[@cyn5962]

​@@chrisboone2755You are fortunate.

[@megalopolis2015]

I'm so grateful that she recognized that something was off, so she reached out to get help to turn things around. I hope she gets a second chance with some of the people she pushed away. I'm rooting for her.

[@pbj0815]

I’m very accomplished in my academics, work, personal life. I have a great relationship with my kids but I don’t have any friends. I’m very responsible and a square so no drinking, smoking, partying cuts a lot of people out. It gets lonely but I’m ok.

[@chez0788]

I totally agree with you on that. My coworkers figured out I don't drink, and they don't even invite me to anything anymore 🤣 Going on 7 years without a drink because I needed to change. If it isn't people from AA, then my social circle is pretty limited. And AA is not for everyone... believe me lol

[@yambagnelson9987]

One of the problems with people calling everyone that does something they don't like a narcissist is you now have people thinking they are narcissists when they are not.

[@TimesUp8888]

Yes. Also, if you really think you're dealing with a person with NPD, the worst thing you can do is tell them what you think they are. Worst immediate outcome, plus why would you ever tell a real NPD how you know how to strategically exit in advance? Everything to them is a Zero Sum game, and getting any "competitive advantage" over others is what gets their rocks off. The only way to remove them from your life successfully is to give them no ammunition like this while using their enormous self absorption to walk or run away while they're looking elsewhere. 🤷‍♀️ Just my experience. But srsly don't give a narc any armchair diagnoses, unless you want to hear about how you're actually the one with XYZ and how messed up you are and you're at fault for everything lol

[@AlexisDavis16]

Dana sounds so sweet, I pray she gets all the love this world has to offer

[@dinajones2761]

She’s not obviously

[@Cyanopteryx]

Wow I relate to Dana a lot. Growing up, if I was wrong about anything, my parents took it as an opportunity to mock me or dismiss me. I remember feeling as a child like I had to be a lawyer and explain/defend every little detail. As I got older I started to fear that I was a narcissist, and that scared me. I did not want to become my dad. Luckily I've been able to work through a lot of it and I'm at a point now where I can feel comfortable being corrected or disagreed with. I know my loved ones are not waiting to rip me apart every time I mess up, so I have let my guard down and it has saved my marriage. But I have minimized contact with my parents because as soon as I'm around them, I fall back into that mindframe again.

[@megalopolis2015]

[@candyluna2929]

That's me except I am anxious all the time

[@Portia620]

Minimizing time around toxicity or people that don’t have our best interest in mind is so important!

[@katiemerritt5884]

I have SO much trauma around this. Someone can make me feel cornered about a decision so fast, and when I’m cornered, I feel so desperate.

[@eponymoususer8923]

I started taking 5 minute pauses when I feel extreme emotions in an argument a few years ago. In that time, I do box breathing to aerate my brain, I do physical exercise like walking briskly, and internally, I orient myself to do and say things I’ll be proud of later. This has transformed my arguments from explosions to cooperative exploration of problems. This is VERY good advice for people who feel physically activated or inhabited by their feelings. Based on my own experience, I highly recommend DBT, emotionally based therapy, and internal family systems therapy for people who experience this.

[@gvasqu]

This video is helping me at 25, it’s hard to watch yourself make mistakes and actions you never thought you would. But we will be stronger and better for it to change for the people we love and ourselves❤

[@amara1954]

When I worked at the mental health center I heard one of the therapists say that narcissists never ask if they are as it doesn’t occur to them 🤣

[@thadesweatt303]

I feel like this lady needs way more than one session.

[@Portia620]

I am very defensive and have a hurricaine to protect myself and love people way too deeply! I don’t run away. I hate fighting or arguing! Don’t want war did that in my marriage!!! Never again! I need to not feel so defensive with my kids as they are attacking often becsue they have it in their heads I’m so incompetent and other things from their father!!! It’s triggering and working on this

[@flashthecorgi2053]

I hope Dana finds peace!! Thank you John this was such an insightful call!!

[@AlexisDavis16]

It was!! Very grateful for this call

[@Muzzy0085]

Narcissist people don't get sad over lost friendships or relationships. We are aware of it but it doesn't affect us

[@chrisboone2755]

That isn't true...do more research

[@TimesUp8888]

​​@@chrisboone2755I'm not one but I've spent way too much time in my life around them, starting with family. It wasn't until my adult relationships with a few ppl with varying degrees of narcissism/NPD that through therapy and getting stronger boundaries etc I realized how many are in my family and former friend group. There are many types... but 1 thing they tend to have in common is what OP said here. They really don't get sad over these things or grieve normally. Every day is a new day... However, the vulnerable/covert type will often take grief/sadness to the extreme - over the top or prolonged in unhealthy ways... bc their goal isn't healing, it's attention and being the Victim. Then, when u go through a normal grieving process and are still sad 1 month later, they're the 1st to chastise you and say you need to get over it. Move on with your life (low to no empathy...)

[@brownin329]

When did you find out you were a narcissist?

[@chrisboone2755]

@@brownin329 I don't think @Muzzy0085 is a Narcissist. Sounds more like Psychopath technically.

[@Muzzy0085]

@@brownin329 at about 45 I figured I had narcissistic tendancies . I'm definitely not a psychopath or sociopath Bring a narcissist is not a death sentence when it comes to relationships. It does take a lot of understanding because I'm a single father raising my son by myself so I am forced to recognise behaviour within myself to raise him well

[@Cowgirlkate]

She’s not the problem, she’s the solution!! Bravo for taking back your power, and knowing you don’t need permission to exist; you are enough, sweet sister 💥

[@FrankS111]

Good lord 🙄

[@vaska1999]

She obviously isn't a solution to anything. The woman's a mess! 😅

[@gsagadin]

OMG, I needed this today. My husband loves to pick fights. And I ALWAYS respond negatively.

[@lilarose9348]

Dr. John we all need a relationship skills book from you🙏

[@djpuplex]

Love the comments section telling her no she's not the problem when it's 💯 her. I'm sure the other three husbands perspective would shed a lot of light.

[@FrankS111]

The comments are painful and show why this country is being destroyed. It’s being killed by AWFLs (affluent white female liberals). They are emotional and intellectually deficient but believe they are the smartest people in the room.

[@caitlincassandra]

She may have been the problem, but she is that way most likely because of trauma and in that sense, I think some sympathy is in order, don't you? I think heaps of people get defensive in arguments like Dana, they just never see it as a problem or have the self-awareness to go and seek advice on it.

[@djpuplex]

@@caitlincassandra Only way to fix that is shed the excuses and rationale for things and take accountability.

[@autumkennedy4133]

@@djpuplexreaching out for help is a form of taking accountability.

[@arimdu1408]

The woman is never the problem 😂😂😂

[@melaniemorales33]

This call was POWERFUL ❤

[@thethriftychickadee7245]

Wow, Dana is so me. I could relate 100%. If I ever end up in another relationship I am going to take this advice.

[@yearight1205]

I'll tell you a few things about narcissists. The first, they never blame themselves and think that they're the problem. They justify every terrifying action they take. The second, they will never willingly volunteer their time. I've seen narcissists donate clothes, money and things, but NEVER their free time. Which is why it's always best for people afraid of dealing with narcissistic people to go volunteer in your free time if you want to meet people you know are decent.

[@TimesUp8888]

Wow, never thought of it this way but holy crap you're absolutely right!! Not going to go into details about it, but I mentally checked your assertion and I cannot think of a single exception to your statement. Wow. Feeling kinda dense that I didn't see this in a big way before....

[@yearight1205]

@@TimesUp8888 my ex wife is a narcissist so I got used to seeing it sadly.

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

I mostly agree with one exception…if the narc is going to gain supply then they will volunteer their time. If it helps the image they created for the outside world, then they will volunteer every second they have to make themselves look wonderful. My narc soon to be ex even volunteered to help set up a program at the school he worked at the week our first baby was born. So basically I was home alone all day with a newborn baby with no idea when he’d be home each day. He knew I was terrified because we went to great lengths to make sure he had some weeks off to help. He gave me one day then announced he had “no choice” but to go do this prearranged thing and it was only weeks later when flowers came to the house and a note from the man who was in charge of the program thanking me for letting my husband “get away” that week to help out because he totally didn’t have to and it was just so gracious of me.

[@dinajones2761]

Last thing Dana needs is a relationship

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

Sometimes all you need to try to find is yourself. Stay by yourself Dana until you know you

[@ChristopherDonnerArtist]

I had to work on that for years . Both of my parents would obliterate me and my siblings whenever we made a mistake. Both of my parents care about being right than anything else I had to work on that for years

[@shanandananscoo]

I’m impressed she got three men t o marry her! Must be something great about her ! And she’s 63 now and has a new boyfriend. Wow

[@WendyGowans]

I saved this one!!! Those perspectives you gave Dana were incredible!!

[@Muzzy0085]

Damn.. im this lady. I never got to the point where i got married though. I had awesome and long relationships.. longest was 11 years but they all ended and now im alone. And im loving it . I should have stayed single long ago

[@natsdaley9615]

Dr John is so good honesty with compassion

[@RilkeForum]

I loved this session. You are a great dad also, I am sure. Not because everything will go great all the time. But because you see your kids ❤️

[@Feliciations]

Oooh this is a good call.

[@Elaine-rd8wr]

There is a difference between NPD and narcissistic qualities. If you are considerate enough to ask yourself the hard questions which = accountability it is more than likely the latter.

[@mightymouse1005]

Everyone has narcissist traits. Otherwise, we would have zero self preservation, zero self esteem or confidence. It's a spectrum

[@Elaine-rd8wr]

@@mightymouse1005 absolutely

[@sherryd3299]

Every time you make yourself the winner and the other person the loser you kill a little bit the love they have for you until its is completely gone and they leave you forever.

[@Portia620]

Wow!!! I can come out a fighter and it’s because of being attacked by my ex and defending myself and never could do right yet loved him unconditionally! I so needed to hear this today!!!! ❤🙏. Thanks!

[@kayv94]

At the age of 63 it's tough for a person to change. I'm rooting for you but I can tell by small thing she does that might not lead her to the path she needs

[@BG-nm5xt]

What makes her angry and how angry does she get? Because when someone questions her, she feels like the bad person and overreacts.

[@stevengtv]

It’s me, hi. Jk I think she is very self aware and because of that I think she is likely not a narcissist.

[@lynne9265]

I can relate to Dana... and I appreciate Dr. John's advice. But when he says "Let Go" I honestly think 'how do you do this?' How do you just let go?

[@starlingswallow]

I've come to learn that, letting go means knowing who you are, and loving, and excepting who you are, and if anybody comes along, that doesn't like you, or doesn't wanna be your friend, move on, and have the mindset of "it's their loss ". And it's not a boastful self-love, it's a healthy self love.❤ we don't have control over other people, and we don't have control over whether or not they like us. What we do have control over is liking ourselves! It's been a really hard lesson to be learned, but journaling, our therapy and talking with the people like my husband has really helped.😊

[@megalopolis2015]

I'm about to sell Dr. Delony's merchandise. I don't even work for him. :0) Anyhew, his book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future probably has some excellent places to begin, as well as some practical steps to redirect your patterns, so you can have a much more joyful Life and brighter future.

[@wf4983]

How you do this: feel what you feel - letting go means as a first step: really feel what comes up - don't try to push it away (e.g. by lashing out - it's a form of going outside of yourself). I know: you might feel vulnerable then, but you will learn, that your feelings are your friends and valid and a sign for something. And it might be, that helplessness comes up at first - but you can process that - and you can trust, that this is only a first step - you will come out stronger (because you can see clearly what's happening)

[@GameTime-yj6qv]

Havent even watched this video yet but if she is concerned that she might be a narcissist, more than likely, she is not. Narcissist blame others and can do no wrong in their mind so it would be difficult for them to acknowledge, especially publicly, that they might be a narcissist.

[@vaska1999]

Asking that question is a great cover for a narcissist.

[@lorainec1435]

Yay! A unique new caller 🥰 love it

[@sarahtaavetti]

Anyone who says they had a great choldhood is either lying, not self-aware or has a skewed definition of „great“. I mean, don‘t get me wrong, your childhood doesn‘t have to be miserable for it to be „not great“. I love my mom, she is great and I would say I have had a fairly good childhood in terms if financial stability and such. But she is human and as such flawed like the rest of us. She could not give me what I needed emotionally as a child, even today she is not capable, and it changed the way I behave and interact with people around me. I have had to do a lot of work on myself to get out of my „pain body“ as Eckart Tolle refers to it. You can love your parents, be grateful for them, and still see theirs flaws and how they „messed you up“. As an adult it‘s your responsibility to correct your behaviour and try to break the cycle, ideally before your third divorce. But everybody is on their own path. Good luck to you all.

[@NealBurkard-ut1oo]

As soon as she asked the question i was going to comment but John addressed it. I doubt a narcissist would ask especially on a public platform

[@brendajohnson5378]

The notecard in the middle of the table. What a great idea!

[@candicevictoriasoganic2768]

You are great Dana! 🌸🇨🇦🫰

[@wf4983]

This sounds good. I'm convinced that you'll make it, Dana! And as nearly always: amazing advice by Dr. Deloney! You remember me of my mom, Dana! I always felt that her reactions and fighting against windmills (like Don Quijote) had something to do with having to win (or else be crushed)

[@MiamiChica]

This situation is complicated because I need to hear way more than she is letting on. It could be either of these things: 1.) The problem really is her and she’s hiding it 2.) She’s a victim of insecure people gaslighting her because they are jealous or need punching bags in their lives. There are people I know who have always had horrible luck finding bad people and bullies no matter how good they’ve been. 3.) Maybe she’s not a narcissist but has severe anxiety that people can’t help her with, so they chose to ghost her.

[@mightymouse1005]

Or, she has reactive abuse....where your so used to having to defend yourself that your always in fight or flight.

[@kiatequila424]

I don't think a narcissist would call in to help themselves get better, so you're just not an easy person to deal with or you get married to fast.

[@josalmon4742]

Oh Dr. J, thank you.

[@RachelSings21]

If you are thinking you’re the narcissist then you ARE NOT the narcissist. My ex husband called me a narcissist after I left him due to a violent outburst. I went down a MASSIVE rabbit hole thinking I was a narcissist and being really upset about it, asking all the exes I’m still friendly with if I was awful to be with and watching countless KZbin videos…what I learnt is that my EX HUSBAND has narcissistic traits. I can’t diagnose him but I’ve since seen a consultant of psychology for counselling and she said ‘he’s a narcissist’. I hated myself for a while there…it’s horrible how they make you question yourself.

[@mightymouse1005]

I did similar, I've almost always had good relationships I had an ex who would say I was the problem and I was toxic. I asked my exes and their kids if I was difficult or toxic to them and NOONE said I was. I'm still pretty close to my ex boyfriends kids and never had an ex tell me I was horrible

[@rossfriedman6570]

Congrats Dr. Deloney for many, many listeners

[@mimihasenpfeffer]

I always want to fight because I had no one defending me as a kid. I hate lashing out with words because it does permanent damage.

[@lmp-m5t]

Although a narcissist could make the call put on a act to somehow prove to everyone its them not u

[@Portia620]

I don’t think she understands what a person with a narcissistic personality disorder would do. They do push people out of your life. It’s very insidious many people don’t realize that and they lose their loved ones and everybody gets turned away from them. They’ll take if you have a mental disorder and flip it, they’ll record conversations and parts of them and share them with other people. It’s so messed up.!

[@ember13dp]

Dang I'm so early I can't scroll through the comments 😭

[@smcb2202]

I’d be interested in an update from Dana!!

[@starlingswallow]

I wonder if rebellion is due to children and teens not having the space to figure out who they are and to be who they are?❤

[@BG-nm5xt]

Yes, plus some parents are very controlling and too critical, finding fault often, or angry and depressed. They could be dysfunctional, unstable, abuse drugs and/ or alcohol, yell too much, give kids too many responsibilities, don't allow the kids a social life, etc. Also unrealistic demands of the children which are harsh and not age appropriate.

[@caitlincassandra]

I think you are onto something. I think that as well as not being heard or being told I shouldn't think, feel or want what I did made me defensive liken Dana explains she is in this call. Takes a lot of time to realise there is a problem, pinpoint the cause and find a solution. Some people never even realise there is a problem in their lifetime.

[@brownin329]

Perfectionist. I bet her father was a perfectionist.

[@AlphaShadowSphere]

Dealing with two narcissistic in-laws this woman doesn't seem to be like them. Maybe she was narcissistic in the past but not anymore. My in-laws refuse to even admit events took place, take responsibility for nothing, and treat their children so horribly it's been classified as abuse by multiple mental health professionals. They lay extra abuse onto my wife because she had the gall to block them, stop talking to them, and refused to take their abuse anymore. They only let off when their reputation was at stake and they couldn't convince me and my pastor that their daughter was crazy.

[@JudePi-jx7yo]

you sure those events took place? I am betting you get the same treatment at some point and find out where the real problem is. Especially the claim it's both parents is suspicious.

[@tspencer661]

Dana needs to read Controlling People by Patricia Evans. Dana, you’re NOT the problem. Get some therapy. You’ll be okay.

[@paulan7218]

generally, if you’re concerned that you’re a narcissist, you’re probably not a narcissist. Real narcissist don’t have an ability to self reflect.

[@sharlottewilliams1389]

There's a difference between narcissistic behavior and Narcissistic personality disorder.

[@lazyakers]

Anger Management

[@citypadfilms8125]

Although it is true most of the cases that narcissists don’t do self-reflect, I have a different feelings about this Dana. She sounds like someone who finally got confronted and told to the face that you’re a narcissist, and she reached out to get validation from someone else, which is a very common things that narcissists do. 3 marriages with the same pattern leading to divorce is really something. And that thing is screaming out loud… And Dr J’s questions to detect narcissism are quite simple and easy to dodge…

[@BG-nm5xt]

Expressing an opinion was dangerous with her family and they were too controlling.

[@jenningsguitarscompany1730]

The fact that your wearing an Underoath shirt means I can trust you deeply 😂😂😂😂❤❤

[@BG-nm5xt]

Dr. D! Why don't you ask more questions about early family life and history, before launching into your narrative, when you don't know the facts yet.

[@chenyitube]

Three times divorced... It's you.

[@David-wo9un]

Thank you for being the one to point it out; she is the common denominator. She also stated her current relationship is on the rocks; time for her to take some accountability.

[@chenyitube]

It doesn't say much about the men that chose her either

[@butwhyshouldi]

​@@David-wo9un And she was the one who admitted it and she was the one who reached out for help. That's part of taking accountability and somehow you missed that part.

[@chenyitube]

I got arrested three different times shoplifting... But each time was completely different: different stores, different products, five years apart. You can't hold me responsible...

[@noneya154]

My mom was divorced 3 times, each time from a POS. She was the common denominator. She was easy prey for jerks. Just because someone is the common denominator it doesn't mean they are to blame.

[@Nikaslifestyle]

She sounds more insecure and wants to be in control. A narcissist will never wonder if he/she is a narcissist

[@keywestfan2503]

By virtue of asking whether you might be a narcissist, it’s almost guaranteed you are not a narcissist. Now, being an asshole is another issue altogether…

[@shiveringnerve]

UNDEROATH

[@Hypergamousqueen]

She's not a narcissist...she's not a lying cheater

[@user-lu9hq6jv4v]

No, a Narcissist can not ask if they are a Narc..

[@allieblake477]

If she was a narcissist she wouldn’t be calling to ask if she’s a narcissist

[@sammybelove]

She does sound like a covert narcissist. They can have a kind heart and come across as humble and shy but there’s no reality besides theirs. They don’t have authentic empathy or compassion and whenever someone brings up and issue or something they want to work on, they freak out, get angry, and act like a victim and throw a pity party. They take everything you say personally and they never actually LISTEN to you. They say whatever is needed to keep the peace and think they’re walking on eggshells but it’s really just them putting up a temporary front because they cannot authentically process or be cognizant of how another person feels. They can think about it but it never reaches their own heart. And it’s always how they feel about your feelings. My ex is like this, so sweet and a gentle person but ultimately a brick wall when it comes to being receptive to another persons feelings or being able to take accountability for their actions. Every tiny thing becomes an assault to them rather than a chance for growth or intimacy. It’s exhausting and lonely

[@MrsBStacyBattleBorn]

I wonder if she was trained to be the family scapegoat, and she is repeating that role in other relationships that failed?

[@pimaggot]

That underoath shirt is awesome! 🎸🤘

[@tspain432]

I don't think any narcissist would answer Yes to John"s self-quiz. Lol. Doesn't explain the broken friendships...

[@NealBurkard-ut1oo]

A narcissist falls into a category of mental illness that is unable to recognize their problems unlike depression or bi polar. So John most likely asked these questions to reassure her. But yeah, a narcissist would respond with the same answers and believe it

[@saltandpepperandmint]

Ugh this is exactly my mother, she is insufferable and whatever happened to her she did to her kids…

[@stampandscrap7494]

It isn't because she has a good relationship with her kids.

[@okaydude2863]

With all those divorces, she must’ve been a Marine.

[@lolgriffin3243]

Sooooooo good!!

[@DodgaOfficial]

If she were a narcissist she wouldn't even be asking the question, if she did call, which she wouldnt because there's nothing some advice guy can tell a genius like them, they would be saying how big of a victim they are and how good they treat everyone and nobody recognizes how amazing they are etc etc.

[@jennifercottrell2588]

Go Utes! Utah by 5, get the red out!

[@missaliciaxxxx]

Dana’s my fav ❤

[@candyluna2929]

She just attracts them

[@stephengallagher2209]

If she were a narcissist, she would never ask 'am I a narcissist?'. Edit: Oh, she doesn't really mean it. She thinks everyone else is the problem. She is waiting for fake doc selling books to women to blame those three men.

[@glitterstarbeau]

It's me. Hi. I'm the problem. It's me.

[@Hillside-Hive]

Taylor?

[@jacobwestfield3164]

Yeah narcissist never realize they are

[@Joe-db5hz]

She could start with apologizing to the lives she ruined.

[@Beginningtopeak]

I don't think it is right to paint a completely hypothetical picture for someone who has admitted they may be a narcissist. You gave her an out without her having to reveal anything. If she truly is a narcissist couldn't asking her to take a plate to the sink be enough to trigger an authority issue? Also, I find with females John is always painting a victim story.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

John went down the list this person is def not a narcissist, she cares about hurting people and she wants to stop hence why she is calling. True narcissist don’t care about anybody it’s about them. Other people exist for their pleasure.

[@caitlincassandra]

@@flashthecorgi2053 and her friendship, although in a bad place now, lasted a very long time for her to be a narcissist and she has good relationships with all her children which you think would be difficult for a narcissist.

[@amendaalmonte2236]

She’s emotionally dysregulated. Her kids should be honest with her.

[@timnichols7760]

It's EXHAUSTING to be wiith someone like her!!

[@whitelotusbaby9160]

Honey, youre 63yo, what do you need a man for, enjoy your life by yourself!

[@leblancfam9445]

She def has avoidant attachment

[@Nikki-nk8zp]

Its funny only men say shes the problem. Sorry boys not all problems are her fault. Shes mean but im pretty sure she has watched his sot on his ass and do nothing else to keep the marriage from dying.

[@Chet_24]

Amswer is yes and she should spend her days with a mirror admiring herself rather than torturing men.

[@caitlincassandra]

Did you watch the video? The answer is no. Also, where is your compassion? She likely sustained trauma that made her reactive and for which she can likely recover if she does the work. Despite her reactiveness, she may otherwise be a very good partner.

[@jadeshenellexox]

She sounds like a narcissist magnet.

[@klickingkayasmr7585]

Yep! Borderline personality, is what she likely has

[@fauxbro1983]

Youre thebcommon demominator lady

[@laurao8099]

Thats what she said