I Have Zero Respect for My Husband (He’s a Man-Child)

[@angelicaangel2624]

He deliberately never told her about the 70 grand debt. He's not a child, he's a liar. She can't trust him and she needs to divorce him asap.

[@alexialira3839]

Did she ask him before marriage about his finances? She knew about the IRS thing 3 months in, yet decided to stay and add children to the equation. Now she says he has a good job and they're well off financially 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@angelicaangel2624]

@@alexialira3839 whether she asked or not, he should have disclosed any debts as they automatically affect her once married. He kept silent on it and that's not good enough. I would never trust him after that personally.

[@mw6346]

Right? I feel like that should be grounds for an annulment.

[@Nectarine333]

@@angelicaangel2624 exactly! My soon to be ex husband did this too. Hid 30 grand in debt from me. These people are liars

[@LibertyCairde]

Not only is it lying by omission, his behavior is financial abuse

[@jessicalynnstrom]

As someone who’s parents hated each other but “stayed together for the kids” I can tell you it’s a horrible decision

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

Amen to this.😟

[@ms.herlan7860]

Yep!

[@Matt-cr4vv]

100%. They aren’t fooling anybody as much as they want to believe they’re hiding it from the kids.

[@Nousername0]

Super horrible. It’s so bad that horrible feels like an understatement.

[@erikcampen8276]

Yep. I remember at age 9, sitting in my bedroom and matter of factory thinking to myself, “Mom and Dad don’t like each other. I see them when they aren’t in the same place and they are so much nicer to be around. Why don’t they just not stay married? I can spend my time living with each one. I can do that. I wish I could just ask them if they want to do that?” Pretty heavy for a 9 year old boy. Glad I’m fairly normal after that crap.

[@Pilled_red]

Husband sounds like a real winner. I like the analogy John used when describing the intimacy issues things like this cause. When you have to take care of your spouse like he or she’s a child you lose all interest in them sexually.

[@TimesUp8888]

This.

[@Jaycarbrownie12]

😂😂😂😂

[@judithmiller7308]

When you have to take care of your mate's responsibilities you become his parent and intimacy is twisted as such.

[@OYensen]

So true.

[@twobitsandpepper8235]

Over and over again it happens. Maybe that explains why men like to f children now.

[@daisy9910]

The fact that he only reacts when she loses it is a sign of narcissism. It's a power play. She should leave, and fight for custody.

[@AG-iu9lv]

Nope, give him custody. Watch how quickly he turns around and gives them back to her full time and flounces away forever.

[@daisy9910]

@@AG-iu9lv I did that to my ex husband, and he dumped the child on his parents, and just collected the child support.

[@aramisy.cajigas744]

"And fight for custody"? Dang it, that's evil!

[@MSSHARIII]

Oh my, yessss!!!

[@Excalibur2]

Always quick to calling them a narcissist

[@Dailyfiber_98]

I’m a grown man who thinks of myself as carefree and young at heart. That being said, there is a HUGE difference between somebody who can get serious when it’s necessary and somebody who is a child. This guy is a child that can’t take care of himself let alone his relationship.

[@nancerod7193]

Thank you! Exactly

[@keylacmckemp1309]

You are correct. My younger brother is the biggest clown ever. Nonetheless, he has a wife, three kids, rental apartments, and a successful business. He is rarely serious, but he knows when to flip the script.

[@Vincenza8907]

Agreed. Things I am carefree about, my husband is more serious about, and vice versa. However, we each communicate what we want in those areas, and we work together together to get them accomplished.

[@plaidpaisley5918]

Boom! 👊

[@Ashakat42]

Thank you sir.

[@denfolo5224]

I saw the signs too and ignored it. I did it PURPOSELY. I was always told no one is perfect. But, to put it bluntly, I started noticing that I had more respect for his mother and his 2 best friends. He was that immature. I spent nearly 2 years on that person waiting for him to change. Don't do that ladies/ gentlemen! If people are still immature after a certain age, it's a wrap. You can't fix it. And you will always complain. And they will call it "nagging". One if the best things I ever did was to end that engagement.

[@1lespaulfreak]

👏

[@calmingbabysleep1256]

What's that age?

[@denfolo5224]

@@calmingbabysleep1256 The man was 38 at the time, older than me.

[@dtrishacc]

​@@calmingbabysleep1256 by age 25 to 28, men should already be matured enough.. if not, it's already hard to fix it.

[@hadzeraduharkic9932]

​@@dtrishaccid argue financial maturity needs to happen even before because by that time you can already destroy your life.

[@9liveslisa]

My father told me that once you give an ultimatum (i.e. divorce) and the other person fails (again), if you don't walk away, you've lost the battle. Save yourself and the kids. You need a man you can depend on, not a man-baby. Sounds like his mother will take care of him. Let him go. Wish him well.

[@probablynot1368]

I wonder if the caller’s husband wants to end the marriage; however, he’d rather nudge her in that direction so that she finally becomes so disgusted with the marriage that she initiates divorce proceedings. He must not be considering how much court-ordered child support will cost him. Right now, he’s operating more as a roommate to his wife.

[@sissysyme1334]

Very true! That was me.

[@V.Hansen.]

You make yourself a liar and then no one respects you, least of all yourself.

[@LGDarksteed]

Why do we not have a term like women-baby for women? There are plenty of women that have tantrums, or don't act like a grown up at all.

[@bluesageful]

@9liveslisa People get pissed at me when I call my husband a 62 yr old infant. THAT'S what he is! In all our years together, this man had not ONE time cooked or even brought me anything to eat.... yes, he has a job, but he doesn't earn a living wage. He will not do ANY housework. He just sits on his bed or in a chair watching sports or playing online games. I've done ALL the yard work, housework, hiring people to do things I can't do, but he COULD, but won't get off his lazy ass....I had surgery yesterday, was given orders by surgeon to stay in bed. I had to get up to fix myself something to eat. And when I did, he asked me to make him something too! This is NOT a man. I have had no desire to sleep with him for the last 15 years. I can't think of him as a lover. ... and yes , I've tried to discuss his problems and how I am overburdened with work. Always falls on deaf ears.

[@SachelleCambria]

My sister has no respect for her husband, he has temper tantrums like a 5 year old. Dude is almost 60 years old and it’s embarrassing.

[@bluesageful]

I'm married to one. I'm about to leave him. The kids are grown now. I regret staying together for the kids....There's nothing worse than a 62 yr old infant!

[@dianaprince3176]

Kingbabies 🤡

[@taylorsampson5434]

He’d get her respect back if he left her

[@JDintheDMV]

@@bluesageful ​⁠​⁠​⁠ How tf can that be possible at 60? Don’t call him an infant. At that age its pretty much who he is. He’s done his life now. Shouldn’t you be more worried about his possible funeral? Glad you stayed for the kids. As you should.

[@shibanimanohar1273]

Sounds like my dad!😂😂

[@alxh3727]

I left my ex when I finally admitted to myself that I did not respect him enough to marry him. I need to be with someone whom I'm proud of and who's proud of me!

[@Jaycarbrownie12]

I’m about to dump mines very soon

[@emghee2510]

True

[@natural3362]

I can't be with someone i don't respect. Because without respect, all i have is contempt. So i will reject those that i contempt and honor me. I owe this to the most important soul in my life which is me

[@alxh3727]

​@@natural3362 true! but when you have low self esteem, honouring yourself doesn't come naturally. I was so conflicted, between knowing deep down he wasn't the one, and hating myself for thinking that ("How dare I think I'm better than him" etc). In the end I wasted his time, broke his heart, and the guilt is really hard to deal with...

[@natural3362]

@@alxh3727 you need to heal first then

[@johnna4487]

I would have had that marriage annulled if I found out someone owed $70,000 to the IRS. Divorce. There is no saving this.

[@DaBossk]

what are you poor? 70k is like 4 years of saving and being frugal on a mcdonalds income.

[@drea4195]

@@DaBossk way off base.

[@ImSrry4BeingWhite]

How am I off base? 70k isn't that hard to make if you set your mind to it ​@@drea4195

[@Iquey]

​Lmao I hope you are joking. With today's costs of living over the past 10 years, my bank account finally got to $70k maybe a year and a half ago. @@DaBossk

[@SusannaShira]

Exactly! 70k in debt and not bringing that up before marriage is basically a trap. People don’t do that to someone they love.

[@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933]

It's so damn hard to be married to a man like this. I know. Being the ONLY responsible adult in this scenario for 27 years is miserable and exhausting. I am in therapy now to try to deal with this.

[@brennanleyen]

I’ve only done 7 years and I’m DONE. I hope you recover well. I’m financially ruined.

[@purplelove3666]

Why did you do that for 27 years?, do a lot of women enjoy misery or what?

[@alexw8821]

@@Mikael-jt1hkit’s his fault for being a fucking loser.

[@tylerrezachek3788]

YOU chose him.

[@lizziebkennedy7505]

@@Mikael-jt1hkChose? She didn’t do it alone! He was there at the alter too. You guys are so fucked up its unbelievable

[@dangerzone24]

Staying for the kids is the worst thing you can do. Once my parents split up, the tension, fights, and drama all came to an end. It was better to have two happy parents living separately than to have to hear them fighting in the next room. Trust me.

[@kaitlin8669]

It got way worse for me after my parents divorced. A ton of fights over child support. Then dad kept dating women that wanted to get rid of us and he would go into denial about it. Mom fell into poverity and had to work multiple stressful jobs.

[@ijustneedmyself]

​@@kaitlin8669 It just goes to show you that everyone's circumstances are different and what's good for one family isn't necessarily the best for another nor is it the best for every person in the family. It's just awful all around.

[@The_Last_Erdapfel]

​@overlordfemto7523 you can't set aside your feelings. You can repress them for a certain time, but eventually they might make you feel miserable and/or break through ...

[@kingboy280]

@overlordfemto7523yep this.

[@dianaprince3176]

@overlordfemto7523Says the kingbaby 🤡

[@luannkelly5071]

My ex husband was just like this. I feel so bad for her. He probably faked being responsible before they got married.

[@thembisaodendaal]

Maybe he did not fake but often women settle for these behaviors because they think after the vows things are going to be different

[@sam805236]

I doubt he faked anything. Many women are attracted to these guys because they're fun and carefree. The women end up having kids with them and marrying them and for some reason they think they'll "fix" the guy. Both parties are to blame, she should have thought better before settling down, come one now, his mommy was in charge of his finances lol. No red flags there?!?

[@itsdebbiecakeyoubigdummy828]

@@thembisaodendaal Or maybe he did fake it. Many males can't get women and will KYLIE and deceive women into thinking their something they are not.

[@SarahR2D2]

@@thembisaodendaal Definitely faked. Mine did the same. Thank God he went legit. I prayed and prayed and now he is the provider of our household.

[@futuristicvibes2643]

@@SarahR2D2 How do men fake it? Genuinely curious what to possibly look out for… this is so annoying to think that a guy would be like this ☹️

[@darlenepreston3739]

I lived this hell, 15 years and I never really had a husband. Pouting, blaming, hiding things, lying to people, finally left me and then sued me and made up stories to evoke sympathy from his co-dependent mother and sister. Fifteen years later he died in that same unemployed, debt-ridden angry, bitter victimhood. Take the kids and go, and get more counseling to find out why you settled for him in the first place.

[@kingboy280]

I bet you sucked and nagged constantly. Takes two to tango sis

[@WillowT442]

Leave him. A man child never changes. My man child cheated, he now has a wife who is okay with him being a man child. I was not. I already had 2 children I really wanted a 3rd, but not a grown one. I am happier without having a grown man not being responsible.

[@DodgaOfficial]

Some man children change, I used to be completely useless, but I specifically didn't get in a relationship because I didn't want to drag someone into my mess, so I'd say if a person feels no shame about their own irresponsibility and is making no attempts to change it, then they are not just a man child, they are a narcissist that is totally okay with someone else being tricked into picking up the slack for them. I was a man child because of serious issues I had that took me forever to heal from, some guys are man children because they just prefer it and in their mind there is nothing wrong with it and people owe them to take care of them

[@sjtdxitditsitdurzirxur5926]

My father is the biggest man child in the history of time. Absolutely intolerable! Easily the most frustrating thing ever to put up with in a relationship

[@0annonymous]

If you discover you have one of those, you can refuse to let him sleep with you If it becomes a fight and he won't comply, MAYBE it would be time flip it over If you need to flip it over, the BIGGER ones may be HARDER to flip than a narrower one, so DOWNSIZE to a SMALLER bed You also don't have to feed him either and you can remove all the furniture he's using and put it in storage If you don't end up throwing it out on trash day IF you DON'T want to risk him bringing it BACK in, call someone with a TRUCK to HAUL it off IF he's NOT going to take ADULT responsibility as the household PROVIDER, then remove ALL the food from the house and take it to an undisclosed location the care of someone you trust Also don't forget to clean out the joint account and take YOUR share of the money and put it into a SEPARATE account he has NO access to One thing you can consider the possibility of is just either kick him out IF YOU'RE paying the housing, pack up and LEAVE HIM BEHIND

[@0annonymous]

​@@DodgaOfficialI'm glad you went from useless to useful, congrats, I'm proud of you, keep up the good work!

[@tweetscotchy1093]

“Your behavior is a language …” this struck home hard. Thank you!

[@katet_33]

"What's the best way I can honor my wife right now?", "What's the best way I can honor my husband right now?"... how many lives would be so much happier if we all walked around thinking like this? Good food for thought, thank you.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Yes, but, when you have that mindset for years, and they do not; it wears you down. You can be good to someone but if it's the wrong someone it doesn't work.

[@veronicalagor4771]

When only one partner does, it sets you up for one pressure cooker of a divorce later on. In a healthy relationship, that's good advice. In a toxic one, it's pretty horrible

[@emilyemmons636]

I think like this ALL THE TIME. It does not work. They just get worse.

[@VultureXV]

The actual problem is reciprocation. If you have that mindset, you're more likely than not going to land yourself someone who _sees_ that maliciously. In short, that mindset attracts parasitic personalities and it's not uncommon now.

[@HeatherBDentureDiVa]

See my husband was completely different and awesome the second we got married he changed and became someone I would never be with. I do everything. He sits down plays games on his phone sits by himself. It's like he wanted another mom to do everything for him to act like a teenager. I feel like this woman is going through what I am sort of. It's so hard bc people fake when their in a relationship. But when they get married they show exactly who they are.

[@reckonerwheel5336]

Arghhh this is my nightmare and why I’m likely never getting married. I’m sorry you got blind sided like this. How long had you been together before marriage?

[@lindalund9621]

Get out

[@sunflowerrayne6026]

I'm stuck in this 🤦‍♀️ almost 16 years now sadly.

[@medsattic1036]

So don’t get married. Got it

[@sunflowerrayne6026]

@medsattic1036 exactly, your not offending no one. Women don't want marriage these days either. I'm also teaching my daughters not to marry. My boys don't want to marry & neither do the boys and girls around me.

[@sunshinerose9747]

NEVER EVER stay in any type of relationship for "the kids"!!!!!! My mother stayed with my raging abusive father for, "the kids"! We would have been so much better off if she would have left.

[@SaystheTruth3]

Same here !! It really sucked growing up like that.....

[@nancinew8288]

What’s frustrating is we “kids” can never convince our good parent that we don’t need the “favor” of staying with the mean parent. We want to be free! Please don’t make us all live in hell then tell me you are doing this for me! It’s such BS

[@alexialira3839]

I'm starting to believe that many who say they're "staying for the kids" are just using their kids as an excuse to stay in that sad relationship.

[@AA-gu4mw]

I used to have this mentality. There was so much abuse in my home of all kinds and towards everyone. I resented my mother for not leaving. Now that I’m older I can’t imagine what would have happened if they would have split. Going back and forth in between two households and then having one on one time with the abusive parent without the other parent being there to stop the abuse. That sounds much worse.

[@BlakeBeat]

I was the kid. My dad is abusive and my mom stayed until I was 18 because of my brother and I. She didn’t want us to have to spend time alone with him unsupervised. I’m honestly thankful for that.

[@mimimonster]

This caller described my parents relationship. They are still married and my father still acts this way and it’s just gotten worse over the years. Myself and all 3 siblings had sought therapy as adults to deal with the dysfunctional environment we grew up in. We all wish our mother had left because we didn’t need to see that. If the caller’s husband refuses to try and change, she needs out for the sake of her children who ARE ABSOLUTELY learning horrible things from what they are seeing. It is not behavior they need modeled in front of them .

[@giselsan9280]

this right here. I have a family member who is in the same situation but stays for their child but honestly I feel seeing a troubled marriage does more harm to a child then separated but happy parents.

[@veracityhunter7777]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@ez2u1]

Well it might have been worst.. in a divorce. Divorce is no walk in the park..

[@Vincenza8907]

@@ez2u1 This is terrible logic. Let me stay with this person who is an anchor in our home because things could be worse in a divorce. You might as well say: I won't go to school, because it might not lead to anything. You are playing fortune teller. Divorce is not easy, but it could get so much better. How bad does it have to get for someone to leave?

[@ez2u1]

@@Vincenza8907 your reply comes 8 months later. I don’t remember the situation.

[@wavynaturalista]

Girl, run. This describes my ex husband exactly. It’s very highly unlikely that he will change. Leave now with your dignity in tact because the divorce will be ugly.

[@manvirbiral2034]

I’m a man child , most likely Asperger’s , I work door dash or watch movies all day , we are still humans tho lol

[@azteca6695]

My mother in law, took care of EVERYTHING! When she died. He was clueless about EVERYTHING! My husband and his brother had to step in and take care of the finances. Set up his appointment and pay the bills

[@alixthompson2836]

My Dad is having this with my grandfather at the moment

[@gogirl709]

For those people that say "you chose him" these type of men are master manipulators. When I first married my man-child he had an advanced degree and was starting a business. He drove an old car and was living with his Mom as he had just moved to town and was starting a legitimate business. Years later I bought our first home on my government salary (and a small inheritance) and was still paying 2/3 of the bills. He NEVER changed. Although he worked full time he was always broke. (No he wasn't cheating or an addict just LAZY). I hope this lady got out. She got duped

[@biznachos1]

The reason we say, "you chose him, ". Is because no woman wants to hook up with a short frugal accountant, actuary, or engineer. However, every guy with a neck tattoo has, at minimum, 4 baby mommas. I had to learn to be an ass in dating and that is when I started getting options. I wound up marrying a girl who was her class president.. Confusious say, "Short man with good heart die from dry PP. " Lots of great short guys out there for the picking ;)

[@Nithinithinith]

Living with his mom was the red flag you choose to ignore.

[@acustomer7216]

@biznachos1 😂😂 we are all the same height in bed

[@liabw05]

@@biznachos1you seem strange 😂

[@anubishound8179]

​@biznachos1 you've got lots of emotional baggage buddy that stems from your insecurity.

[@rebeccabamford5505]

I’m married to a man child. We can’t have a serious conversation when he’s working because he just trying to work and he’s tired. We can’t have a conversation when he’s off because he’s off and he needs to relax. So that means we can’t ever talk. I work the same job as him. Take care of the house and help my elderly mom. I’m ready to leave or he needs to leave which he doesn’t want to. the house is in my name only so that’s why I stay.

[@daisy9910]

Evict him.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

That's what the red pill movement is cultivating. They don't want any expectations put on them. They parrot how they just want peace. They want to know what you bring to the table and will do for them. Even doing the bare miniumum of woeing you in dating is now just too demanding and how dare women want to be shown that a man might be a responsible provider. It's unfortunately only going to get worse, since that movement is absolutely huge. And because women won't supply all their demands, they just become passport bros, or they fester as singles.

[@AG-iu9lv]

Serve him eviction papers. Seriously.

[@MSSHARIII]

​@@AG-iu9lvRight 🤯

[@liabw05]

Then kick him out 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@saregama-r8td]

"You are married to a child". My god if that doesn't wake you up than nothing will. That's embarrassing.

[@nicoleadiaz1]

It’s not that easy. You must not be married

[@thmphll]

People don't know how to vet anymore. Men will think with the wrong head and women will think with their feelings.

[@casiehardt3333]

My ex was very similar! Could not stay at a job, constantly changing careers, insisted on being in control of the finances and then got us into IRS debt that I am having to pay… why because he still hasn’t stayed at a job so he of course can’t pay. Man child/ narcissist!! I spent 17 years in that. Had all the talks but he did what he wanted to do before he did what was best for the kids and me. I hear what the host is saying but if there is no change, get out!! Your children deserve to see a better example of what being a man is.

[@richardramfire3971]

You didn’t see the signs before getting married

[@thatamychic3517]

@@richardramfire3971if he is a true narcissist, there likely were no signs in the beginning.

[@Rosaedora]

This dude targeted her to get her to pay his debts and look after his money. Men like this target women by lying and hiding who they are. She didn't pick him, he targeted her. The men saying she chose him are excusing this abuse. That is why men like this abuse, because they know that they get a free pass and she will be blamed.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Exactly! I have NEVER heard anyone tell a man..."you chose her"

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

It's just stupid, the things people say to us .

[@Chet_24]

Very few men are interested in women's money. Don't be crazy and be nice. That's all men want.

[@tp6299]

AWESOME comment

[@vickimerritt2832]

​@@Chet_24nope they want young naive women or mommies they can sleep with, men are way immature now days.

[@shawnellemartineaux6212]

Whew this is exhausting! My greatest fear is being alone in a marriage. I'm 28. Never been married yet. When people tell me I should be married now because of my age, I think of marrying the wrong person and suffering from that. Nope. I'll do it with a mature, compatible man.

[@sabinekoch3448]

Don’t let anyone or any sentiment by society at large persuade you into marriage. My single girlfriends are really very happy ( if a bit poorer!) and free. I’m a widow and slowly am realising how independent I am - it’s really ok.

[@shawnellemartineaux6212]

@sabinekoch3448 yeah! I value and want marriage and a family, but not at whatever cost. My parents had a horrible marriage. I dare not make that mistake. I'm not scared about repeating their mistakes, just really cautious and pragmatic about it. I'm sorry about your husband's death. Hope you're doing better with time.

[@coriemmett1363]

Same you have to be careful! I had almost two engagements and God protected me! I’m so thankful I didn’t marry the wrong guys.

[@eleanorwillow9671]

Take your time. There's no rush, and it's better to be on your own than to be someone's second mom.

[@shawnellemartineaux6212]

Oh I plan to lol I am not built for that. It is unattractive and a recipe for resentment@@eleanorwillow9671

[@kathymimms5545]

Young lady. I have a husband just like that. Used my entire inheritance for his dream a restaurant. Failed. Spends money like water now wants to reopen restaurant. Filed for legal separation to protect myself. Wake up young lady before your in debt up to your eyeballs….Wake-up little girl.

[@bunniewood]

Sounds like you need to take your own advice. Why don’t you leave your nan child?

[@brianmcdonald7017]

Thinks he's too good to work for someone else, but not hes not good enough to be a success

[@Dean543-cc3fd]

Wow bail on your husband instead of supporting him through failure, exemplary wife I see

[@Nithinithinith]

Lmao WHY WOULD YOU EVER GIVE A MAN MONEY !???? LET ALONE YOUR INHERITANCE. These type of men know the women to prey on.

[@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099]

TY! She's as immature as he is! She may be more considerate in her dealings but she didn't have the life experience to put her foot down before the three kids appeared. She needed to make sure her life was on a firm foundation before having those kids. It's infuriating to see so many women wasting time negotiating with these guys. Why did she honor him with kids? He's already gotten away with the scam.

[@GreekYogurtGranola]

After reading the title alone, just leave. You cannot stay with a man you don’t respect.

[@lyndaslocs]

Dr. John, I admire and respect you, but this guy has no plans to change whatsoever.

[@bettysmith4527]

Agreed, he is a man child and that won't change!! I get wanting a fun partner, but that partner also needs to know when to be serious!

[@Jane_1994]

I wonder what our populace would look like if we held each other to a higher standard, instead of babying one another and tolerating intolerable behavior. "What you are willing to tolerate becomes your standard."

[@veracityhunter7777]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@demandsideeconomics9736]

There would probably be a violent backlash from (mostly) men. It's one of the reasons why studies are now showing that a lot of men are growing more single and lonely as relationship standards are raised.

[@veracityhunter7777]

@@demandsideeconomics9736 I agree with you. They are extremely entitled, and expect rewards for things like watching their own children. LOL I've seen many of them refer to proper hygiene as being "g*y". Many more of them would not have any sex, if women actually had standards.

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

@@demandsideeconomics9736 😂 maybe if those "standards" you are talking about had to do with personality and not financial/physical standards. Your mentality of it mostly on men is absurd.

[@vickimerritt2832]

@user-mr1my1lw4v Overwhelming far too many men fail to mature nowadays. They work and feel that entitles them to a get out of jail free card in every other realm. so unlike my dad and my dad's generation,

[@m.o.s.h.1836]

It's really hard to understand a man-child husband/partner or lover. It's a toxic relationship. 😢

[@mefirst27]

Mothering to your husband is very hard you need to teach him every household chores and like a child he would do tantrums when you ask for a help specially if he was busy playing mobile games and after reminding him many times his procrastination was very exhausting even one plate in the sink he wont wash it..hard to be maid,mom and wife to a child man😢

[@Joel-pg4yi]

What a woman. She could have left but she sacrificed and put all the work on her own. He doesn't know how good he has. If I had such a woman and even if I was immature inexperienced I'd worship her and be grateful for lie and try my best to contribute even if I'm not too skilled at it.

[@Rccrdawgs]

Yes, a women that's financially mature and understands the value of earned money is a rare bird

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

You'd worship her? Women don't find guys who put them on a pedestal attractive

[@Daniela-pr7rz]

@@Rccrdawgsplease, most women are like that.

[@biznachos1]

Did she get a job? I missed that part.

[@AG-iu9lv]

​@@biznachos1you missed the entire thing. Go back and watch again, we're not going to do the work for you

[@alicec.6195]

The amount of women being held back financially by men that I know... And we are the gold diggers.

[@aramisy.cajigas744]

The comment projects a gold-digging mindset.

[@alexpeters7987]

I know right!?! 😫

[@tamiwatchesstuff]

Agreed. 🙄

[@dougie2631]

True

[@ellegmye]

Men are the true gold diggers. They expect women to do all their domestic and emotional labor for them, have women risk their bodies so that they can continue their bloodlines, and they get mad if you even ask for crumbs in return. Almost everything men accuse women of is pure projection. Women bring so much value to relationships but men usually only bring risk and burden. Women need to save themselves. Choose better by choosing yourself.

[@andreawannop8670]

There is a well documented and we'll observed concept called "man child". Essentially this is a man who seems like he is fun and care free, but in fact he is aimless. As a partner, he will drag you down, as you get more and more stressed carrying his slack and paying for both of you. He takes from your life and doesn't add to it. He isn't a partner and you are "his mother". Women need to recognise these men are "dangerous". I married one (briefly) and learned the hard way myself. I'm afraid you have done just that. For progress and peace in your own life, you need to recognise your mistake and end it.

[@katelyndefreitas2810]

The reason she also stays "for the kids" is that there's still such a huge social stigma for divorced women. They're seen as "having failed" and it's not the same for men. Being a "single mom" has such a stigma that the kids even feel it, that's what she's worried about. What's worse - this bad relationship, or being sociall ostracised?

[@victoriacampbell7651]

And some women are scared knowing he will get some kind of shared custody. She wants to at least be there to protect them during his rage.

[@tttgaming8762]

They both look bad

[@Archer-hg9rw]

No it's not the stigma💀, it's your parents getting divorced. You should at least look into child psychology. Also if you're a single mom or dad you have failed, marriage is supposed to be for life, especially if you have young kids you have failed miserably and it will affect their mental health.

[@scorpification]

@@victoriacampbell7651 YES, this is exactly it. Do I stay and I'm ALWAYS there to be the buffer. Or do I leave and pretty much tell my kids, 'well he's your problem now to handle alone. I couldn't live with him, but you have to on the weekends (or every other week or whatever).'

[@krystalgardiner5591]

@@victoriacampbell7651 yeah I left my ex husband, and ended up my young son lived with him majority of the time. As a mom, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I’m with a new partner, and we have 2 small boys and that’s what’s kept me here this long with him. Because I’ll never be able to live through having to share my kids like that again and risking him getting custody and controlling when I can see my own kids I gave birth to.

[@lsgsrob2102]

It’s over, file for divorce as quickly as you can, cut your losses and get out. He’s not in love with you anymore and you don’t see him as your absolute best option. This is unfixable and even if you did fix it, it won’t last long.

[@PrairieDawnC]

There is no such thing as "The One." There are always better options if you look. That said, this man may not change. Accept or get out are the only options.

[@Joel-pg4yi]

With that mentality your best option is says you treat people like objects and not human beings. And you selfish and self centered. But I. This case it doesn't matter. He doesn't seem to care

[@JamieNicole1000]

Right

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

If it doesn't last, then it's. Not really fixed, is it?

[@mst-pierrem5729]

When a dude wants to play or not deal with finance it's such a red flag... I had an ex like that and my best friend made her family with a dude like that. Now, she's tired in a sexless relationship and so ressentful... Dudes if you don't want to deal with money or family please stay single. Now, she's financially in precourious situation and tired and she's alone in a relationship. That looks like hell. My friend's 10 yrs told her dad she hate him cause he just doesn't do ANYTHING ! I just feel for those kids!! Y'all deserve better than this!!

[@starlingswallow]

I went through this for 14 years. It's exhausting. I hope this mom gets out ♥️

[@purplelove3666]

Why 14?, I need women to stop writing how long they suffered in a situation they could have gotten out sooner, y'all are sounding pathetic as heck

[@dianaprince3176]

@@purplelove3666Nobody has to post their comments the way you want them to. FOH 👉🏻

[@katiez460]

I lived this for years. I was the adult in the house, to someone who was 11 years older than me. Handled all the finances, made all the decisions, breadwinner, all of it. Between his alcoholism, apathy, and willingness to lean on me completely, I lost all respect. Any attempts at changing things were met with empty promises, hostility, or nothing at all. I threatened to leave more times than I can remember before I actually did. It's incredibly hard to get out and it took me 10+ years to do it. I am very sorry for anyone else going through this.

[@purrfectnails2473]

That marriage is done. Did she say he had $70k worth of debt he hid from her? wow. And he refuses to pay the bills? tf!? Not even half of them? No that wouldn't work for me. I guess the best thing she gets is a baby sitter, but she can hire one of those and use the child support he should pay her. I don't trust this guy.

[@murderofcrows7738]

I wish Dr John would start asking these women who admit their marriages were never good from the start why they decided kids would somehow make things better. That marriage had trouble from the start and she still decided to bring kids into it.

[@jacobdesalvo2155]

They share their money he just won’t do the physical action of paying the bills like going online, writing and mailing check, etc

[@1lespaulfreak]

I’d ask her what is it about her that is attracted to boy/men? Men she wants mother, instead of men she can’t control, but loves her, cherishes her, and leads? She has control over men who act like boys, because they abdicate responsibility, and when they give their responsibilities/rights over to their wife, they lose control. And wife loses admiration/respect for him, and can only love her husband as a son, not as her cherished beloved.

[@SarahR2D2]

@@murderofcrows7738 women are hardwired to want children.

[@dearbrave4183]

@@murderofcrows7738 The guy said "I will change" I want to be a good man and I can't do it without you. He probably also cried. And talked a lot about his great dreams. The famous word is "this time it will be better" Women feed on hope , it can take years until something usually snaps and she wonders, what am I doing here? Or the pain and frustration finally reaches the unbearable. Haven't you heard about women who marry ex convicts who have been in prison for murdering their ex wives and children just because they told them they will change? and a year into the marriage they are surprised they have to hide to protect their lives and that of their children.

[@kitw76]

Women want to have security in a marriage otherwise might as well stay single. Sounds like she needs to kick him out and maybe that is what it will take for him to straighten up. If not then she needs to divorce him. She is doing everything on her own anyway! She saw the signs when they were first married but probably thought it would get better and then had kids with this man child. It never gets better! My hubby and I realized this in our past relationships. So when we met we made it clear what we both wanted and expected.

[@josephinenelan4204]

Amen. If some flags are nice and red before marriage, getting married won't fix them. Neither will having kids. I wish more people would take that to heart.

[@acd1168]

Yes. My friend at yoga was married to her alcoholic husband for 14 years. She said she waited 10 years before they had kids after the marriage so that he could grow up but he never grew up.

[@zeal4god402]

I guess many see the signs, but hope there will be better signs as they keep driving

[@alexialira3839]

Idk... she starts by complaining about his it's debt and how his friend messed him up financially which is all in the past now. Says she's his mother, basically, but the dude has a good job and they're doing very well financially now. She's just complaining that she doesn't want to go online or something and pay the bills. She's also complaining that she wants him to tell her to stop spending so much money. This lady is off.

[@alexialira3839]

IRS not it's*

[@electricbeing993]

I been there where I was the only concisistent responsible one in all aspects. It fucking sucks. My credit was ruined, became suicidal, it causes depression and will definitely make u feel like u need to get out. Some of these type men will make u homeless also if they dont know how to lead properly. Been there too. NEVER AGAIN. I'm a stay at home mom right now and it is NERVE WRECKING to have someone else responsible for you, even if temporarily.

[@rchi3906]

Yeah , u needed a man that u could have respected , that could have made every want ,appear , I know how u feel , been with a bunch of alleged women that had a temperaments of a child , had to build wealth all on my own without any support , but thankfully I’m there now but it would have been nice to have a women like yourself by my side every step up the ladder, having the adventure together

[@TheEquiss]

Yep I wasted 35 years of my life. Single now and happy.

[@rchi3906]

@@TheEquiss it’s not a waste , just a lesson , don’t beat yourself up , just make the rest of your life the best of your life , your still a young beautiful women , always remember that , and be kind to yourself

[@Bobisworld]

@@rchi3906 you’re really sweet 😊

[@candyluna2929]

Your story is like mine

[@andrewheffel3565]

You need to leave him as soon as you can. But do a little preperation. Secretly save money in your name only. Quietly talk to a lawyer and follow his advice to prepare for divorce, and then serve your husband with divorce papers when you are ready.

[@ramonaneyrinck2292]

I was totally in this position with my now ex! I got on the dave ramsey plan, and found out it was a relationship problem.. not a money problem. So thats when i just separated everything, and went my own way.

[@CyeOutsider]

He married he, lied to her about his debt, pulled her into his financial irresponsibility, puts her in financial distress and cant be bothered looking at any funancial meaures she puts in place. What an A grade a hole

[@nancinew8288]

Get out asap. I divorced a man child after 10 miserable years and it’s been awesome being free! I had to realize that this type of dynamic is actually not a marriage and has nothing to do with marriage. Children cannot be married. Only strong healthy adults can participate in a marriage. Take care God Bless❤️

[@Joel-pg4yi]

But children are pure full of love and joy. Adults are dark evil lustful.

[@michelekawamura1357]

Yep I had a man child for an ex husband for 30 yrs.

[@skyeblu817]

Sucked me dry... ruined my life...after him I went celibate....for 7 years.....and met a psychopath to love...kinda sucks too

[@jeremym8490]

​@@Joel-pg4yiChildren lie constantly and are the most selfish and irresponsible people alive. You need to understand that BEFORE you have kids.

[@eleanorwillow9671]

I feel this woman's pain sosososo deeply. I am exhausted. I don't like looking at who does which jobs around the house, who does more, who does the harder stuff, the grossest stuff, etc. I hate tit-for-tat; I think people should just see that something needs to be done and do it. But he doesn't, and I'm so frustrated and tired that I find myself keeping score... and I hate it. It's eroding away my compassion. I don't have a partner; I have a dependent who thinks he can play house just because he's over 18. Then when I'm too exhausted or frustrated to even think of intimacy, he tells me that I should seek medical attention to raise my libido. It's a rabbit hole... a can of worms... a grenade waiting to go off. I feel like all I can do is warn others: before you get married, before you have sex, before you live together or entangle your finances, truly get to know the other person. Maybe you know them from school or work, maybe they lived down the street from you, maybe you have friends in common, maybe you have a lot in common, whether it be life stories or interests. Don't get so caught in the joy and thrill of the positives that you don't look deeper. You think, "I'm so happy to have someone who...." but you have to also watch for the skeletons in their closet. I have to stop myself from writing a who dissertation here, so let me just sum it up by saying that you should look into relationship advice, do your research, etc. Even if it seems great, look deeper. Maybe there are 50 great things about him, but he has that one fatal flaw. Look up stuff like, "questions to ask before having kids," or "what to discuss before getting married." Don't commit a lifetime to a person based on one or two characteristics. It's going to make it harder to find "the one," but it's truly better to take your time than to settle for someone who will grind you down and make you miserable.

[@nicoleadiaz1]

Yessss! All of this !!! Wow !!! These are the words that we wish we all could have listened to.

[@sarrazagreychuk9535]

I thought I called in! The title takes the cake!

[@sobeliever1638]

Seems like this show hurt a nerve. Lots of comments from probably a bunch of man childs who just want their wives/partners to deal with them not being able to level up I guess.

[@murderofcrows7738]

I’m a woman in a happy married relationship and I agree with them. The woman can’t make all the decisions for her partner (like when to have kids, moving near the parents) and take control of everything, then turn around and complain when the husband is so beat down he no longer has an opinion. There are always two sides.

[@eurekahope5310]

Or, it could be that there are too many women who choose a man with red flags then beg for sympathy when he continues to be immature. Let's admit it. Stable men may not be as exciting to date, but they are reliable.

[@terriesmith2616]

I'm a woman and want other women to take responsibility for their own decisions in life. She said she doesn't respect him yet she choose to marry him anyway. She said he's a man child yet choose to continue to stay with him anyway. Knowing he is what he is....she continue to stay with him and want to continue to complain without doing anything about it. So what does that say about her? Does she take _any_ responsibility for her decisions in life? Or it's all the man's fault?

[@sobeliever1638]

@@murderofcrows7738 he probably beat down hinself. He should have taken a more active role and have been more reliable so she would not have felt the need to take over. This is my assumption anyways. Maybe she is a control freak from the beginning and just lied to Dr John but she also could have taken over because he did not handle his responsibilities. What was she suppose to do? Let the bills go unpaid? Beg him?

[@sobeliever1638]

@@terriesmith2616 maybe she wanted to work on their marriage and hoped he would change? Shouldn't people be allowed chances or should families be broken up quickly?

[@Wall2000x]

He was stealing money out of his business along with the business partner. He probably has either a mistress, gambling or drug addiction. There is an ebb and flow in this relationship. He is only on a short leash periodically. Goes back to his old ways. Though this is from her perspective. In real life, he might be a great guy. But, my experience is a loser doesn't change their spots.

[@Ponderosa518]

This confirmed my decision 8 years ago to leave my fiancé and partner of 5 years. This could have been me right now. I questioned my choice in 2019 when my life was on the rocks, but I doubt staying would have made it any easier.

[@leapinglaura7343]

Seriously, he's *slamming doors* ? This woman may well be a victim of dv, or would be if she demanded any real accountability. I don't think she's safe in her home. Bratty sons DO hit their mothers, yknow.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

I have a seriously dysfunctional family it’s not funny. I am adopted and i’m still trapped at home. I live with narcissists. The kids become adults and become financially trapped with the family, the older siblings bully the younger ones, our parents are bullies too. I am in a constant state of fear and anxiety. There are times i am safe and can relax but it’s only for a moment. Then i need to continue to protect myself. I was never truly allowed to grow up. I never want a family of my Own. I don’t trust people

[@hiddenswan857]

I’m married to a 2 year old. My husband’s favorite word is no.

[@Dean543-cc3fd]

Wow he’s a 2 year old because he doesnt cave to your every demand, classic female manipulation

[@danieldpa8484]

My favourite word to my wife is “No” all the time - otherwise we would be broke & homeless in a year as she would spend it all on stuff nobody needs

[@User98681]

Lol

[@StacyA406]

Run for your life. Some of these calls make me so grateful I am single.

[@sandrabrislin4526]

Me too!!

[@lisalister8002]

I was married to a BIG man-child! So much happier with him out of my life.

[@FriskyTendervittles]

Please have Patrick Teahan on your show. It would be an amazing interview. His you tube channel is just amazing. He talks about Complex PTSD and our inner child and how they are running our lives. It would be such an enlightening interview

[@kimdramas]

My s3x partner is so immature. He has a job but doesn't pay any bills because he lives with his dad. He won't put a dime towards his debts even though he had tons of money. He complained about my home being too cold until I reminded him that heat costs money. We would never work as a couple and we both know that. Which is why we never do anything beyond hooking up. You need to either make peace with the downsides of your relationship or you need to not have one with that person.

[@kristy1653]

I’ve never understood how women find men with all of these terrible, un-masculine qualities desirable to sleep with. Don’t you find it all to be such a turn off? I guess I’m just someone who can’t separate those things.

[@kimdramas]

@@kristy1653 he's very attractive.

[@brianmcdonald7017]

You are wasting your life

[@brianmcdonald7017]

​@kimdramas no he isn't.

[@Nithinithinith]

@@kimdramas he is a Loser

[@dearbrave4183]

Wow! Good luck to her! But it's never too late to create boundaries or start over. A stressed parent is never a good one. And maybe teach your kids about money management and budgeting as well because this behaviour can be inherited.

[@katiewaves]

Girl, leave him. He ain’t gonna change!!!

[@raerae555]

Unpacking at 4 am is utterly insane.

[@furryplantsandcoins9070]

Good luck to her! That's so very hard! Been there done that. Me and my x divorced last year. There was sexual abuse, financial issues like hers, he would not talk to me, my oldest daughter was cutting so much she ended up in foster care, we were living with his mother after I gave up a house! Yes I was with a man-child! And don't get me started on responsibilities! Ugh Be careful with the kids. My youngest daughter resented me after we moved out after the physical abuse! She blamed me for him putting his hands on me! It was extremely hard!

[@acd1168]

That is terrible. But you did your best. I am so glad you are out now.

[@christopherlewis2194]

Y'all chose to y'all chose don't complain

[@sarahjoe2457]

@@christopherlewis2194 Yall choose not to be good men. Now go speak to yourself and your friends about that.

[@furryplantsandcoins9070]

@@christopherlewis2194 I didn't choose to be physically abused!!

[@furryplantsandcoins9070]

@@sarahjoe2457 especially when no one knew! Exactly 💯

[@Lady.Luck.]

I married a man very similar. It was a bait and switch. She married him under false pretenses

[@coolaunt516]

A good man is hard to find.

[@mrmann44]

Same could be said for a good woman

[@residentevilfreakk55]

There’s plenty of them out there, they just aren’t six feet tall, make six figures and don’t have a six pack

[@rebeccabamford5505]

I have a man child as well. It’s very frustrating to feel like you’re a mother not a wife.

[@shawnsmith11]

why did you marry him then?

[@seedsoftruth57]

What about when the husband makes the income and tells his wife that she is going to be homeless and when she does not do things the way he wants them done he walks away from the situation. I

[@pascalessoaps3735]

Yelling, fighting, trying to 'punish you, never taking initiative to go on a date or organize something, procrastinate, etc etc etc. Exhausting!

[@commonsense5209]

I was in the exact situation as this lady. When I told my partner it feels like you do not care about me for fill the blank. His response was, if I wanted something that bad I should do it myself. After long 10 years I took his advise & kicked him out. Wish I did not waste these precious years on a hopeless broken abusive man.

[@samrusoff]

My gaaaaawd. Talk about the bar being on the FLOOR! This "man" can't do his own finances? Can't manage his own business? Can't be on a team with his wife of 8 YEARS? game over

[@dianaprince3176]

Probably puffs put his chest all the time, whining about “let ME lead the household!”

[@kawan5851]

Same story happened with me. My wife recently told her family that I am like a child. But she forgot to tell that I am financing her lifestyle, she is living in my house and she is jobless. I just told her that she has to pay the bills on time (from my credit line), take care of the home as I have other things to do and she is unable to do so. So now I am marked as a child. So please listen to the other side of the story as well.

[@lisehrby2565]

One bf was a total Child. Worked as,a teacher. When it was a rough day, he came home, pulled the covers over his head and lay in fetal position with his teddybear from childhood. He was 35. When he promised to do the dishes when I was pregnant and 3.rd day nothing left in the cupboards, I did them. His respons "oh, you took the initiative away from me" OMG. Kicked him out when our baby was 3.months. Had no energy for two babies

[@salonsavy6476]

I’ve been single now for 2 years ,, and I couldn’t imagine going through this,, my security is way too important,,,

[@JerryStevens]

It makes me wonder in what kind of household this husband was raised. His irresponsibility may be innate characteristics but more likely his father was irresponsible or there was no father. I'm a responsible man but I attribute that to my father who modeled how to be a responsible man.

[@phelps1485]

As a man who struggles with some of these things in this video, it was definitely things I was modeled through my father's actions. Mainly pure weakness and a victim mentality. But there is hope if you choose to care and grow! Furthermore, my mom's weakness and inability to be assertive didn't help either. EVERYTHING comes down to modeling what you expect from your children.

[@kristen9827]

Oh there are many men that are enmeshed w their mothers and want a partner that’s their mother as well. No thanks.

[@Joel-pg4yi]

What's wrong if both parties are happy you can be who ever you want as long no one is gettin hurt

[@bettysmith4527]

Just stay single folks, it's so worth it... surround yourself with cats/dogs, friends, and family, life will be better!

[@phelps1485]

I don't know about better, but a hell of a lot easier!

[@bettysmith4527]

I never said die alone, hence the surround yourself with friends and family!@@kevinhacker9309

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

What do you do when you have done what is suggested and NOTHING changes and he says he cares but wont change and said I cant expect him to be perfect. His mom is an enabler. He thinks he had a good family and childhood. I am tired of being with a man-child but I also dont know how I could manage being a stay at home mom who homeschools. Going to keep praying and hope for him to figure it out.

[@kellharris2491]

Why should he change when you don't take any real action? If he doesn't change what happens? No consequenses. Do you want to teach your children that this is how marriage should be? Praying for God to just Change him? Faith without works is dead. You can't change him. You can only change yourself. Start looking for online and work from home jobs. Break your financial dependence. Once he knows that you are ready to leave then maybe he will get up and at least be a father. But nothing will change unless you take action. You need to be strong for your children. You can't be what your children needs while carrying your husband too.

[@jangrosemartindale8740]

@@kellharris2491100% right! She needs to find a remote online job to start with, as doing nothing-ENABLES him to continue as he is, nothing changes. She has to make a CHOICE to change the situation for herself & the kids. Otherwise, she’s wallowing in self righteous victimhood, & NOTHING changes!!!

[@kristinee6530]

I'm going through almost the exact same thing as the caller.

[@annberlin5811]

I never married because 90% of men dated were men child. They were well off too.

[@kristinee6530]

@@annberlin5811 very sorry you went through that!

[@annberlin5811]

@@kristinee6530 thanks but at least didnt marry any of them!

[@bettysmith4527]

@@annberlin5811 ditto, and some of then wanted a sugar momma to take care of them, I was like NOPE, BUYEEEEE!

[@annberlin5811]

@@bettysmith4527 good on you. And they dont want to do anything either and are boring!

[@Wildanimal864.]

The problem is women don’t give men the security nor respect nowadays.

[@ruthirwin8222]

My ex and i went to marriage counsling....and he said to me we have to fix this for the kids, but he was having an affair, i said if it doesnt work for us it wont work for anyone

[@gtileo]

Considering she says she's been dragged through his mistakes and resents him for it, I wouldn't be surprised if she was the reason he's pulled away from doing things and feels like he can't do anything right.

[@JaniceHylton]

A husband is a choice, so CHOOSE BETTER. Read the book " The Naked Wife."

[@SamanthaWebb1726]

I can't find such a book. Do you possibly have the title slightly wrong? I'd like to find it. 😊

[@patriot-hj5vx]

My ex was in his mid 30s, living at home with his family, his mom doing laundry and cooking for him. I asked him to do laundry ONCE and he stomped around like a child. He dumped me and got married real fast after. I hear that marriage is not good. Dodged a man child bullet, phew

[@mikew3788]

To be clear, he makes all the money but she is stressed about processing the bill payments? All the basic bills can be auto-paid…. I don’t get it.

[@robertbrodeur4326]

Ding Ding Ding - the man-child so childish he landed and holds a "great" job and there is money for all the bills. What a little boy.

[@ChristIsLORDnEver]

That’s what I was thinking. Not sure why the comments section are flooding with divorce. The man although has some behaviour issues which could be resolved with more counselling . Finances doesn’t seem to be the issue. Her paying for the bills when he is making the money doesn’t make him a man child

[@vickimerritt2832]

​@ChristIsLORDnEver he refuses to do anything but work, he is not an adult. teenagers work but are not yet mature.

[@loganjackson675]

I could be wrong but the way she said, “I just want him to tell me to stop spending,” makes me think that she’s not telling us some important aspects of their financial troubles. Likely ones that she’s caused. We wouldn’t know though because Delony never asks probing questions about the situations when women are calling in to him

[@emilyemmons636]

Problem is you cant leave with a newborn and a three year old while recovering from a c-section when you have NO MONEY

[@brightpage1020]

“I respect your choice not to participate in ensuring our financial future as a family. I expect you’ll respect mine to start building one as a single in response. Thanks for understanding!” Then go. Walk away. Out of the room. If he calls “wait wait -“ then ask, “Are you prepared to discuss this calmly and rationally?” His response will answer and you either way and you can decide then to work it out or keep walking into a new future without this dead weight. If the tantrums continue and don’t subside…time after time… there’s your answer.

[@Flash3-22]

Oh to go back 28 years and take this sentence to heart. Dead weight is how my friends describe him.

[@confusedwhynot]

This is so spot on. I empathize with this woman. This is my home in spades.

[@annberlin5811]

A lot of woman i know make more than their husbands. They do everything in the house.

[@salliekim2727]

Man children are awful. At least kids are cute and small. Man children are aggressive and when they throw things - it’s scary and dangerous.

[@Joel-pg4yi]

Respect. Tho I'd feel uncomfortable.😅

[@thmphll]

Yup, I know women in that situation too, but they knew that going in, the the bad boy factor was to much to pass up.

[@annberlin5811]

@@thmphll they are also usually unattractive and use money to get them to stay

[@luvjudy]

This is me with my dad. Lol I have been doing my parents finances since I was 10yrs old, put the house and bills in my name cause he stopped making payments when I was in school. I have no respect for him and he’s scared of me.

[@EmpressMermaid]

Every situation is different, but generally speaking, kids are better of with stable, happy, whole divorced parents than with miserable married ones.

[@melanieb2132]

I think the key word is "whole".. as a statistical picture, married families produce more well adjusted adult children than divorced. Everyone wants to ignore that statistic, for some reason.

[@melanieb2132]

The other point is, 50 years ago only 3% of marriage ended in divorce. Are people more selfish now than back then?

[@EmpressMermaid]

@@melanieb2132 Yes, your statistics are correct but somewhat misread. 1. Yes, statistics do show that the best outcomes occur when children are raised in a married household, no one disputes that. But this may be reversing cause and effect. These children are happier because the marriages themselves are happy and stable, and that is ideal. But what applies to the average does not necessarily apply to the individual. If you can't have the ideal, then living in a divorced home is preferable to living in a very unhappy or volitile married one. This is particularly true in homes in which one parent is toxic or abusive. (Not sure if that's the case here as it's hard to tell from one 15 min call) 2. The "3% 50 years ago" (1972) was the per year rate. Fact is, couples married in 1950 had a 20% chance of getting divorced in their lifetimes while a couple married in 1970 (more than 50 years ago) faced over a 50% chance in their lifetimes. Interestingly, the highest ever year for divorces was 1980, a mere 8 years later. The divorce rate is actually lower now. All these numbers can easily be found online via CDC and census records. Interestingly enough, one of the highest years for divorce in the US was, believe it or not, 1946.

[@melanieb2132]

@@EmpressMermaid 1946 is actually not that surprising.. there was cultural pressure for kids (18-20 year olds) to get married before the young man went over seas so he had a woman to fight for. The war ended in 1946, the boys (now men) came home, and new relationships had formed all over the place. Probably very few children were effected with those divorces.

[@melanieb2132]

@@EmpressMermaid statistics say that 60% of married people are happily married, leaving 40% that are fair or unhappy. There has to be some crossover with unhappy marriage and good outcome for children.

[@Jennifer-di4nl]

She willingly took on another child with him. Shes likes this. Shes not going anywhere.

[@Lauren-tk1gq]

If I marry someone and they wait to tell me about massive debt until after we get married I would divorce them so fast. That’s one of the biggest red flags in my opinion

[@thmphll]

Why would you marry someone without vetting them first? Unless its money owed to the mob it will show up in a credit report...

[@zorrocrow2207]

Of course, you know, we are all susceptible to believing the best. But in hearing her story, the fact that he had his mother doing his books would be a flag for me. Unless she was an actual cpa. Typically true grown ups want a little bit of distance from their parents, especially around their money and business.

[@Nah-ah]

Oof! She’s got more patience than I do!!

[@rifasheriffdeen9513]

My children wanted me to leave. Leave the children will appreciate it… I have hurt the children more by staying in the toxic marriage

[@miketoth7000]

How is she pulling all of the weight when he's the one making the money?

[@vickimerritt2832]

Because he is a pathological liar with a job.

[@dannyruiz3329]

This is proof not everyone should get married. That guy is too incompetent to function as an adult, much less a husband and father. He is too weak-willed to confront his business partner for theft, too insecure to say anything to mama, and too ignorant to understand businesses/finance. If i was that woman's father, i would confront my son-in-law for this, and demand he better himself or risk divorce.

[@Flash3-22]

I can relate to this situation, except my husband did pay the bills while I worked in another location to make sure we were financially secure. He did however hide daily his marijuana habit when we got married. He led an entitled life living at his family's cabin when we met. Losing respect for him is not a good feeling.

[@bokchoiman]

I think probably what happened was he racked up all that debt and is now terrified of making a financial mistake and so even refuses to have any input as to not take responsibility for anything that might arise.