An eating disorder took her life and changed her family’s world

[@morganburke9268]

I met Maddie in Utah while in treatment. Truly one of the sweetest and brightest people I’ve ever met. She was so kind to everyone she crossed paths with and people were naturally drawn to her. She fought so hard and was strong for so long. My heart is broken.. I’m sorry for your loss and I’m sorry the world lost one of the purest people in it. She had so much ahead of her… But Maddie is finally free… rest peacefully sweet girl😔❤️

[@Mary-po4ti]

A beautiful write-up. Hope you are doing good.

[@katherinekeon7034]

This disease is the only control that an individual has. Everybody else has control their life to the point that the only thing they can do is either eat to morbid obesity or starve themselves either way death is coming. And it's horrible. This disease is about control of the self. And is often put on us by environment family. Ture

[@queent3343]

I wish she had been just as kind to herself as she was to everyone else.

[@Sheyann_89]

What a sweet comment. Very beautifully said. I hope your doing well honey. Prayers sent your way. 💕

[@ElizabethT45]

I have a daughter named Morgan so I feel maternal here - I hope you are doing well and loving yourself as much as you should!

[@rachelh2731]

Her mom is an actual Psychologist with a plethora of resources and knowledge, and couldn't reach her. This is terrifying as a mother of two young daughters. Her poor dad looks so grief stricken and heart broken. ❤ 💔

[@coconutsciencegirl9232]

I think Russell Brand said once that getting over an ED is worse than getting over an addiction to heroine…and I agree it’s horrible what it does to you…destroys you

[@awkwardautistic]

​@@coconutsciencegirl9232 depends on the severity of the addiction or the eating disorder... they're both deadly.

[@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998]

@@awkwardautistic i always felt eating disorders themselves are an addiction, it consumes every part of your being. But I do agree, depending on how severe both can an eating disorder and drug issues can kill

[@laylascott6096]

@@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998 eating disorders are absolutely an addiction/disease, like drug/alcohol addiction. I’ve had all three

[@alyciamarie4163]

@@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998 I just commented that to someone. It seems the same as any other addiction just food is the focus or control of food intake.

[@ellieramseth1035]

I went to treatment with Maddie for her last few months. Kind and loving soul. She wrote me the sweetest note that November that I am keeping forever. I will always be thinking about her family, she loved them all so much.

[@daphnea5447]

I Hope you’re doing better now. Stay with us, Ellie.

[@Katarina4567]

😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@ME-cd3bs]

I had anorexia with purge subtype at 13 years old. I went to a hospital bc my organs were shutting down and it changed my life seeing children with cancer (the regular hospital beds were full). They wanted life and I was choosing death.... I've been in recovery for 12 years and am currently a functional nutritionist. I've been able to transform my eating disorder into my passion for deep healing. Bless this poor young soul and her parents. Prayers to all who are suffering 🙏🏻😔

[@cailey_gene]

You are absolutely beautiful, and I am so proud of you

[@cailey_gene]

To be able to come back from that is absolutely amazing.

[@kimwalker3566]

I'm so happy you're here.

[@_Ashleigh]

Beautiful words and thank god your in recovery. So many won't recover coz it's such a viscous disorder of the mind. But i hope that people suffering get the help to be honest there isn't enough help out there. Weight restrictions to get, waiting lists in places and it's really sad. But well done for your recovery. I feel so bad for these parents and that poor girl. 💕

[@zeezeeparker7961]

Good for you! You've turned this into something positive and I know it's a struggle. I hope you continue to be a blessing to others as well as yourself! 🙏👏🇨🇦

[@DarleneGolden]

I have four children and one of my daughters suffered anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorders, and self-harm for years. She was extremely intelligent, kind, beautiful and popular but had no control over this mind-altering beast. Finally after years of treatment, attending the Renfrew Center in NYC, and asking God for help, things slowly changed. She was one of the lucky ones who won the battle. No one could ever understand what this nightmare is like unless they have personally gone through it. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope you find peace in the fond memories she has forever left behind, and the knowledge that you will meet again one day.

[@rebekahlikesmusic2723]

I am so so sorry. 🙏 God bless you and your family

[@JohnHaigh09]

Yet you have anorexic youtubers like Eugenia Cooney who no doubt indirectly influences this unhealthy disease and they are just free to have channels

[@curiousgeorge6921]

That's what happens when you let hollywood and models éducate your kids...it's complete mental bullshit that's preventable with education

[@highershelf]

She may have got better because she CHOSE to

[@undertyped1]

She's definitely lucky. She managed to treat the reasons behind her unhealthy eating without any help. I say that because eating disorders aren't a condition, or a disease, it's a symptom. It's people who think eating disorders can be treated is why people die from them. You don't "cure" eating disorders, you treat the reasons they aren't eating. Most of the time it's because they have no control in their lives, so they control what they can, which happens to be what they eat.

[@sofiab527]

Thank you to Maddie’s family for raising some awareness that the current treatment model is grossly ineffective for so many with eating disorders, even with good access to this kind of treatment. I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@soilgrasswaterair]

Yes, because the focus tends to be on the individual (their body, plus their eating etc). There is a huge lack of focus on how it started and what the family system looks like that literally molded their neurological development. There is a reason why the most effective treatment is bringing in the parents too and looking at the family system, how do they deal with emotions. With a lack of proper tools to have an outlet and also deal with emotions in desperation it lands in an eating disorder in hopes of gaining control over a situation they (the one with the eating disorder), feel they have totally lost. It sadly ends up being the thing that rules them and there is a total loss of control, even more so than the things they wanted to control through the food and shifting the body (ehich isn’t really about the body, it’s a symptom just as the food is). This is about emotions and not about food and ”looking pretty”. It’s a desperate attempt to regulate the emotions, and it goes sideways. It is genetic, but people got a vulnersbility too through their upbringing and feeling emotionally abandonned. Many within the healthcare system isn’t aware of the emotional part and focus mainly on the weight of the patient. Just like many family members will take weight gain/loss as a sign of someone being done in their treatment and are finally healthy again and have gotten rid of their eating disorder. This is not the case, the weight is not an indicator of how someone is doing emotionally just because it changes, the person can still very much be ill. For example a person who deals with anorexia can have treatment and within that progress people may think their disorder is ”healed” if they start to gain weight, but often times it goes from starvation to sort of bulimic tendencies (which isn’t someone who is well the disorder has just shifted in its appearance). It takes a long time for people to get healthy, but it isn’t impossible. This is not to be used to cast blame, but to know what areas to deal with. The reason so many get better when they are in treatment away from home, and then gets worse when they get back home is because they are right back in the same house with the same people where they fell ill. / Scandinavian who is a former uni. psychology student

[@elviras.6258]

​@@soilgrasswaterair Thank your for all your explanation and information ⚖️

[@lavenderkisses9461]

I had Ed’s from the age of 13-40+ -went to treatment centers, saw over 20 nutritionists/counselors/therapists/hypnotherapists/intuitive eating coaching I mean really, you name it-probably close to $30,000 out of pocket for it all. I was really determined to figure this out. I went from binge/purging 10-20x/day To a few years with an episode every other month to today: I’ve been completely bulimia free for over a year-meaning zero relapses-no Ed urges either. I am looking FORWARD to wearing a swimming suit this season-first time ever. And the life I now have is full of freedom/joy and possibilities. Perfect? Heck no, but it is nothing short of a miracle I am where I am.

[@lavenderkisses9461]

I have to add-the first step to the freedom I now have was getting honest about how I really felt in each and every moment. And to accept it. And not push that down. To listen to it. THAT was step one-and it all had nothing to do with food and my body.

[@VeganLife-mn1jp]

Thank you for bringing up the family aspect because that’s often overlooked. Very similar patterns emerge in families that set the stage for eating disordered children. Control is a big part of this and often the daughters feel out of control in life so try to regain control through their food. They tend to have “harsh” or even controlling mothers with domineering personalities. The girls themselves are more sensitive and gentle, and it’s a bad fit. Plus these very sensitive girls pick up the things their parents say like a sponge. Dads needs to careful about their influence here, in my experience they’re a little less intrusive than the moms but still play a role. Of my three eating disordered friends growing up, all three had harsh, domineering mothers. My friends (their daughters) were so very different from their mothers, timid and gentle. Their mothers didn’t realize that their much harsher personalities took away the very sensitive daughters’ feelings of autonomy. I cringed when the mom said that she said to her daughter “you NEED to listen to me, you NEED to do xyz” because an approach like that is going to push an already sensitive person who feels out of control even deeper away. Also when the mom described her daughter as being so “little, tiny and innocent” I cringed and hoped very much her daughter never heard her or her father say that phrase. A common theme among eating disordered women is wanting to remain like an innocent little girl and not grow up physically. It’s also what one psychiatrist felt was a major contributor to one of my friends’ condition, that she wanted to remain like a little girl for her father. Really bad phrasing to use “tiny and innocent” to an anorexic. Very often the parents are doing their best but the entire family needs to go into counseling so the parents can learn how look at themselves too and their role. No one is born with an eating disorder. Such a tragedy for this young girl. If parents of eating disordered children are in here I really hope to point these factors out so they can examine their behaviors to best help their child. It’s not about food at all.

[@meghoughton562]

A long time ago a good friend of mine who suffered from Bulimia admitted to me that whenever she walked into a room, she scanned it to see who was the thinnest and if it was her, she felt victorious.

[@lauren9004]

Wow. That's very real tho. Thank you for sharing. Is she ok now?

[@somebodysomeone2949]

I do the same but with the fattest. If I'm the fattest, I feel like I don't belong here and everybody see me just as a fat girl. If there's someone who's more fat than me then I feel less anxious. (I'm not obese, my bmi is 27,3 and I have chronic depression and a history of ed)

[@lettus143]

yep, and on the other side of that they also think that others are doing the same, meaning if they are not the thinnest they think everyone likes or thinks better of the smallest person and kindness shown to themselves, especially compliments about their appearance, is seen as an act of pity. like a second place trophy if you will.

[@Glamis450Girl]

This is absolutely a true fact for anyone with an eating disorder

[@katemess-ox4nb]

As someone with Anorexia, this is the truest thing I’ve read today.

[@eoinMB3949]

I really believe that eating disorders are sent straight from the pit of hell. I worked with a group of eating disorder sufferers (it was all female)and I was shocked at what this condition could do to them. What really struck me was that all of the girls were really sweet natured, sensitive, intelligent and exceptionally kind. They were different to most other people and I say that in the most complimentary way possible. It seems to afflict people who very decent human beings.

[@Katarina4567]

That's why we need GOD.❤❤❤😢😢😢 Right now my beautiful niece is going through it.😢 Only JESUS can help her. She has had all treatments.

[@randomadviceandmyopinionso2475]

Yes and it mainly affects women (same with the covid propaganda and masking and so on) Women are much more prone to "social contagion" or group think which is one of the reasons that anorexia cannot be treated in groups the way drug addicts are treated because anorexics actually become worse and start to compete with eachother to see who can be the "skinniest".

[@flamary429]

Sincerely appreciate your comment. Pit of Hell is absolutely right. No-one wants to struggle through the nastiness of an ED.

[@a.v.6158]

@@Katarina4567 I am a Christian as well and an ED survivor. If you can show you niece this comment, please do! I was so stuck in believing I was right about that Eating Disorder voice in my head telling me not to eat or to only eat certain things. My family told me to eat, and showed me that my weight was severely low! I tried to eat again but everything I ate gave me bloating, terrible abdominal pain, and headaches. That's when they rushed me to the ER.... the rest is history but I just want you to know, you don't have to obey that voice or those thoughts. You are not harming anyone if you don't! It will harm you so just please know you dont have to do this and you are not less than a person or less perfect if you let this disorder go. I'll keep her in my prayers

[@spookshow6999]

Definitely a spiritual battle.

[@statisticallylaura]

I'm SO grateful for how her family is choosing to be vulnerable and put her story forward in hopes of helping others. As a 23 year old master's student who's been fighting the exact same battles for about 6 years on and off now, this just absolutely hit home. I've been experiencing concerning bradycardia (very low heart frequency) this past winter, and Maddie's story just made me realize how close I might've gotten to sharing her fate. I'll certainly remember this and hope for her family to find happiness again through Maddie's spirit.

[@daphnea5447]

I Hope you find freedom and healing. Stay with us Laura❤️

[@semicool103]

I have just read this comment but I hope that you’re doing okay right now. May your health be kind to you.

[@shirleygiordano7627]

I'm turning 42. And for 35 years, I battled eating disorders. I still sometimes slip back into eating disorders. I'm thankful that I'm not dead yet. I feel bad for this girl. 😞 and her family. May they be at peace. Poor girl. 😔

[@brooke2873_]

keep fighting, you still have so much to live for ill bevpraying for you ❤️❤️

[@Mini-rt8bm]

Wow! Hope you’re in a better place

[@shirleygiordano7627]

@@brooke2873_ thanks

[@shirleygiordano7627]

@@Mini-rt8bm, yes. I was in the dark.

[@karolinapietryka4288]

I have an eating disorder because I want to die, won’t take me 35 years that’s for sure

[@DawnieG]

Living my life for Maddie. We’re the same age. Our eating disorder started around the same time in different places. I survived bc treatment worked for me… her dad speaking about her brain being beautiful but also being the thing that was killing her hit me hard. I see myself in Maddie. Fly real high. 😢

[@SomeChickNamedStella]

Her mom is my therapist and has helped me tremendously in my ED. I am very grateful to have her in my life during my struggle with this awful disorder.

[@anitas5817]

This disease goes after high achievers. Often they are the ones everyone thinks are doing so well. But the high achieving is a glaring symptom of the underlying problem. The victims never feel it’s ok to be average. Often, everyone applauds their successes, and reinforces the pathology, without meaning to. In this case, even with the family doing everything they could, it wasn’t enough. Such a sad story.

[@ajarnt9050]

Well said! I was never noticed positively until anorexia took over. My dad would applaud my exercising and "healthy eating." I had a coworker tell me I looked like a movie star. I finally felt noticed and in control of something. But I also hated the way I looked. I was never "thin enough."

[@bkirstie]

not sure the mom and dad were doing everything they could. the fact that she had to achieve highly is probably because she wasn’t valued just being herself. the way we are treated and brought up, CAUSES the illness, hence a mental illness.

[@adamantiumm1101]

Good for them whatever

[@shimmer8289]

Ppl around me my sisters, my best friend, my doctor never acknowledged me when I told them I list 40 lbs. After being obese for 13 years. The lack of recognition It made me worse this month losing 11 pounds. I felt they can't notice it.becsuse the way I view myself I will never ever be the right size.

[@ajarnt9050]

@@shimmer8289 I'm sorry no one noticed your weight loss. That must have been heartbreaking for you. :( Please take care of yourself. There is no number on a scale that can lead to true contentment.

[@SummerofKittyLove]

It doesn’t matter what age-I’ve seen women up to 80 years of age still obsessed with wanting to be thin.😢 It is always with us. I’ve never been able to not care about my weight

[@brieb4317]

My grandma is 84 and when she got her thyroid disease she had to eat more to keep weight on but she liked how it made her thin :/

[@horncow4160]

It's true, I have a healthy BMI and haven't been actively anorexic since my early teens 15+ years ago but never stop thinking of myself as chubby and get mad at myself when I eat normal amounts. My grandma is 87 in poor health and underweight but won't quit dieting after a lifetime of weight obsession. You don't ever kick the mindset even if habits change.

[@orlyno364]

You as parents tried your best, don’t beat yourself over it Maddie tried but it just wanted enough

[@y0utuberculosis]

I've always loved food more than I wanted to be thin, but I'm chronically anemic and there is this little lizard brain that keeps telling me, if I stay anemic I'll get skinny. It happened last time and now that I know it, it keeps popping into my head. Even though I hated it, I was weak, I always felt awful and I didn't even look good.

[@sabinewatzinger9111]

True. I am nearly 60 and check my weight every day. I have an healthy BMI in the lower range, but I am always pleased if I lose a few grams. It is stupid and doesn´t matter, no one even notices it, but I can´t get over it.

[@JaleeNicolee]

I’ve been in recovery now for over a year. This video makes me cry everytime. It’s so saddening to see such a horrible illness take such a precious human. I’m continuing to fight for myself, my family and Maddie. Rest easy.🤍🕊️

[@aurylovevintage2198]

I'm recovering too, at the momenti. I wish you all the best! 🎗️💜

[@meganmary92]

I have a drug addiction I am fighting but it’s one in the same. Stay strong girls we don’t want this to be our family 😢❤

[@MrSprite2005]

Stay strong sweet angel. I really need to watch my beautiful granddaughter. She is 11 and 1/2 but has many traits of this precious young lady. She is a soccer champion, a straight A student and has the most compassionate and empathetic heart. I am already seeing so much anxiety in her. I talk to her so much about her own expectations being so high. That no one is perfect, we learn by failing and trying again, to put her hand on her heart and one on her belly to breathe when she feels overwhelmed …I am glad I watched this tonight. Stay in your recovery. Sending you so much love and light. Aloha, love and peace from Hawaii. 🌈♥️☮️

[@mrsNetty34]

Hope you’re doing well

[@genpaullacamera2233]

Hello beautiful how are you doing today ❤️

[@louise8752]

Tremendously sad to watch...What an incredible young woman with a loving beautiful family. Prayers and may her life and purpose carry on in countless others.

[@dr.larapence]

As a psychologist specializing in eating disorders and working on the front line with parents, the challenges families face are astounding. What a heartbreaking story, and one that I wish was way less common! I appreciate this families reflection on their desperation and experience of grasping at straws. It's such a painful experience :(

[@eightieslivenow7579]

Im 66...i spent my teen years into my 30s with bulimia and binge eating...i spent years in a programme and overcame my bulimia but i still struggle with food issues...it still scares me to eat and gain weight and not binge eat...it is still a struggle but i am better so much better...but it was hell getting through it...i am so sorry for your beautiful daughters life lost...i was told by doctors we dont know how you are still here with purging up to 15 times a day every day..i dont know either but im glad i am...i got tired of depression and i also struggle with phobias and panic attacks...this illness will never defeat me...thank you for your story and your love for maddie

[@kristyjean6219]

That is so right. With anorexia the mind is such an enemy. Though my body is healthy now after my last treatment, my mind is still my worst enemy. I’m 50 now and my body has paid such a price for starving for so many years. I hope her story will shed light and I am also thankful they did not share pictures of her in her worst physical shape as that is so triggering to other people with eating disorders. Maddie was beautiful and had such a kind heart, I can tell. Such a blessing. So painful and sad for your family. ❤

[@whoknows7577]

Can I ask, respectfully, what “price” did your body pay that you’re facing now after years of starving?

[@rirism.]

i honestly hope you feel better. im so glad that youve healed at all, even just a little bit. i know im much younger than you, but im proud youve made it this far

[@rirism.]

@@whoknows7577 its probably got something to do with muscle loss, kidney failure, or hair loss

[@shelbeepollino9008]

I just looked up her obituary, she had the same birthday as me 😞 Rest in peace baby doll, I hope you’re at peace and I hope your story will save even one person from the same ending 🕊️

[@genpaullacamera2233]

How are you doing today ❤😂

[@-simplicity7551]

I'm six months older than her, and struggled with an eating disorder when I was 13. I've been starting to feel terrible about my body again but after seeing this...reminds me how serious those thoughts are. She was an amazing person, I won't let her story be lost on me...

[@williamheintzelman1357]

Kkkkll​@@genpaullacamera2233

[@elysiabronte]

no matter how much we want to recover, that tiny little voice tries to bring us back down. and the closer we get to battling it out, the stronger it gets. oh what i would give for us all to find recovery. i'm so sorry for your loss, maddie is flying high

[@annemurphy8074]

That tiny little voice is trying to protect but it goes about it in a way that is not very helpful. We have to learn to welcome that voice, find out about it and accept it. Then, things can change. I have D.I.D with many alters, some wanted to kill our body, some absolutely hated me and were very abusive. I had to learn to meet them and find out about them. We had to learn to work together, to get along, to know we share the same body and life. We had to find a way other than inner chaos and warfare. It required learning how to love each other, tons of love, compassion, acceptance and a willingness to meet each other. Only then did the voices change to kind and all wanting to work together for the well being of the whole person. If we hate these parts of ourselves, things can only get worse. It's love that is needed.

[@dinodogstar]

I'm honestly very saddened and moved by your generosity and transparency in sharing this.

[@iamme8406]

This is heartbreaking. Eating disorders are terrifying deadly illnesses. I was diagnosed with AN at 14, I'm now 26. I've been hospitalized, residential, outpatient, alternative treatments, support groups, self help, 12 step.... I've never achieved full recovery, I still struggle every day. However without all this, I would be dead. I honestly don't know how my body survived any of my major relapses. There were so many nights I couldn't sleep because my heart wasn't beating right and I thought I wouldn't wake up. Idk why I survive and she died. I could have been Maddy. There is no rhyme or reason, we both were chronic sufferers despite treatments, incredible supportive families, and a desire to live. Thankfully today I am medically stable, have many positive and fulfilling connections to life outside my ED. I practice harm reduction, regularly see my therapist and doctor, attend daily support groups, practice mindfulness, meditation, gratitude and self care. Although the years of ED abuse have left me disabled and I have never been able to work more than part time, I am grateful for where I am at today. I hope someday to really experience a life of freedom.

[@sophie-sm9qr]

your story is terrifying, i am so sorry for you

[@gmaxx5478]

There isn’t a reason behind who lives and dies, but that doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of the chance

[@rachelmckitterick]

30+ years with a Eating disorder for me. I feel this family's pain. My parents can feel this family's pain. My heart goes out to them.❤

[@wendyouellette]

I’m almost 69yrs old and started mine at age 13. My husband has had me in all different hospitals. I live in Florida and he even found an eating disorder ranch in Arizona and flew me out there when I was in my 40’s. I got home after 7 weeks and was better but it creeps back in as soon as you lose control of your life. It’s the only thing you can control is putting food in your mouth. I just recently lost 70lbs in a few months. No one can make you eat and that’s the one thing you can control in life.

[@789armygirl]

Absolutely tragic and heartbreaking. 😢 What a beautiful, radiant, and bright young woman RIP. Hopefully this will bring awareness to the condition and inspire new ideas of helping those who have been treatment-resistant. My condolences to her family. 💙🙏

[@MelB868]

All she had to do was not starve herself how simple is that

[@ns2110theonly]

Sadly there has been much awareness of anorexia since Stephen Levenkron wrote the book on it many years ago it is one of the most studied diseases with a very high profile. Unfortunately this disease affects young women who are high achievers, perfectionists and seek control over their bodies and also seek subconsciously to remain young and with their parents. Nothing can get inside that mind. The greatest brains have tried. The only solution is specialized inpatient treatment centers not regular hospitals where this traditionally goes. This is a very specific illness and it takes a very very long and arduous process of multi stays in specialized treatment facilities and there just aren’t enough. But as far as awareness? The whole world knows about this disease and would need to be living under a rock & brain dead to not be aware of it; it’s been around since the 70s. When the Women’s Lib movement started. Coincidentally (NOT) when women started achieving and aspiring to the same goals as men. And yes studies have linked it to this. In the early 70s when this started creeping into American society suddenly women and young girls were pushing themselves to be the best academically at sports etc. You seem young so you can’t imagine a world where these weren’t natural achievements for young women. They are now. But for many perfectionists it’s an endless struggle to be the best (in the class within the family at sports, it all comes from the same place) and part of that struggle to be the best is seeking control of your own body; to master your own body and be better than nature. It’s very hard to fight that because it’s a very deep mindset within the subset of dysmorphic diseases.

[@genpaullacamera2233]

Hello beautiful how are you doing today 💕❤

[@Britenus]

I have a sister that has been chronically under weight and obsessed with her weight since she was a teenager. She always denies having an ED. But watching her eat is painful cutting any trace of fat off a chicken breast. Or nippling one square of chocolate. I don’t understand how I’m fine and she is like that. She also graduated with a 4.3 (straight As plus AP classes) and was a National Merit Finalist. I had Dyslexia and struggled which is maybe what helped me as expectations were lower. I hate hearing her slowly segment her body - I hate my inner thigh or upper arms. Nobody cares what your inner thighs look like! I’ve never met anyone and thought wow her personality is great but those upper arms. Our mother recently had chemo is terminally ill and was saying how great it was she was back down to the weight she used to be. That’s when I realized how ingrained this is. Then when stopping the chemo she said she was gaining weight. I said it’s a good thing she needs to gain weight. She said, just a little not too much. - she’s dying literally dying and cares more about a scale.

[@ellenclausen3951]

What wonderful and brave parents. Thank you for sharing your family’s story. ❤

[@ernstthalmann4306]

My mother died of anorexia and dementia. This story hits home. Sincerest condolences to this brave family. 🙏

[@meghnamehta7694]

My mother has anorexia and I am so worried about her. I dont know how to help and what to do. Her mood swings make things so difficult for me.

[@ernstthalmann4306]

@meghnamehta7694 I'm not even religious, but pray. It produces positive neurotransmitters. Best wishes ❤️

[@ernstthalmann4306]

It was essentially a suicide. She lost the will to live. Stopped taking her medicine, too. It will haunt me forever that I couldn't save her 💔 💯 🤧 😪 😔 😤 💔 💯 🤧 😪 😔 😤 💔 💯 🤧 😪 😔 😤

[@ernstthalmann4306]

She had the disability Donald Trump made fun of, too. It ruined her self-esteem. I hate that bastard. 😒 🇹🇩 👌 🔥 💯 😍 ♥️ 🇹🇩 👌 🔥 💯

[@Sophya7]

I had bulimia nervosa for 8 years and almost died of heart failure. I was at my rock bottom when I decided to fight for my life. Now I've been recovered for 5 years and have a normal relationship with food and weight. It's possible to recover even after years. Never give up people ❤

[@kamagregg4136]

My 12 yr old stopped eating 3mths ago she's anxious and depressed. We've seeked all the help we can and it's not enough. We are on waiting lists for treatment but the wait is long. I can't imagine how hard it is for families struggling with this for years. My heart breaks for you all💔

[@hannahb.4329]

I am so sorry your daughter has stopped eating and I really hope she gets the treatment soon. I just wanted to tell you to never give up on her and let you know that there is hope and that it can get better. I suffered from anorexia through my teenage years but am now completely recovered. I can eat freely and am glad to be alive❤️ There is hope

[@kimberlyevans1274]

Hand her over to God give it to God. And don't come at me and say oh another bible thumper. This has nothing to do with me it's about you your daughter and God. You don't have to trust me trust God

[@paulwoodford1984]

i hope she attains her desired skinny goals. skinny is fantastic and so much more attractive.

[@enough2715]

​@@paulwoodford1984 Paul, you're too old for this bait. Seek help freak

[@super-sizedmcshizzle6235]

@paulwoodford1984 The audacity you have is disgusting. People die because they want to be skinny, but you already know that since you’re literally hearing the story of a girl who died from it on this very video. So what the fuck.

[@lauren9004]

She had so much potential! It's so incredibly tragic. I hope that everyone who reads this comment is doing well. RIP Madeline Mae

[@lmnopgr]

i don’t think i’ve ever seen anything so bravely honest. my God, thank you so so much for your words, as you wrestle with your love and your grief. thank you. 💔

[@emilynicole4918]

I struggled 6 years with an eating disorder. I've been on track for 14 years in August. I worked at a rehab with eating disorders and we lost some clients. It's heartbreaking.

[@lilyw9324]

❤❤❤

[@dare2bdifferent1]

Maddie sounded like an amazing young lady. I'm so sorry for your loss. 🌹

[@rainforme1850]

Oh my heart breaks for such a wonderful human. You can just feel and see how hard the parents tried.

[@Mary-po4ti]

So so sorry for parents And siblings. Such a heartbreaking Loss of a beautiful Girl...

[@deborahbarksdale826]

So sad. My heart goes out to her and her family. Eating disorders are like addictions in that it’s a family disease. Everyone needs to be in recovery, working on their issues and tackling perfectionism and performance. Spirituality and support of others in recovery can help as there is much secrecy involved in this dangerous life stealing disorder. I hope Maddie has found peace and that her family will heal from their grief and loss.

[@Tmcsinger91]

I’ve battled anorexia since I was 15 I’m 32 it’s an everyday battle even to this day ❤

[@zeezeeparker7961]

Deepest condolences! I started an eating disorder in the 1970s and here I am at 62 kinda chubby and fighting with the battle of food every single meal. It's such a waste of each glorious day but if u look around most people r fighting weight gain or weight loss. It's a tragedy but here we are. She lives on in your hearts .Remember you will be together again. ❤

[@justiceforall007]

I'm so sorry for her loss.😢❤

[@MONSTERxKHAOS38]

So sorry for your loss. You as parents need to remember how much you loved her and supported her and fought for her. GOd has her in his loving arms and no more struggles.

[@harmonyhope1709]

So so sad 🥲 desperately trying to recover at the moment after 30yrs after being close to death myself after a relapse in the pandemic . RIP Maddie 🙏🌈 same here in UK. No specialist beds. Tragic. Poor parents, bless you both x

[@marjol3in]

Bless you, I wish you the best

[@KaylaMarieYT]

i can not imagine what that mom is feeling. being a psychologist and not being able to save her own daughter. i seriously hope this family heals. they speak so incredibly highly of her. and i think her story proves 1. how fucked up the american mental health system is, that this place had no beds. there needs to be more places like that available to people. and 2. how powerful mental health is. how serious it is, how much it needs to be taken care of. and that sometimes it can just take over.

[@elenamichaels9658]

What are you talking about? She has a duping smile.

[@KaylaMarieYT]

@@elenamichaels9658 you don’t know people, so don’t assume just because they have a smile that they’re not in pain. their daughter had a huge smile in all her photos and she still was in so much pain on the inside.

[@DorisPayne348]

@@elenamichaels9658 Who had the duping smile the mom the or daughter?

[@pizzapartytime1826]

She can smile and be upset, dude 😂

[@hannbanann7481]

as someone who's been through this, eating disorder treatment really sucks in so many ways and a lot of times people need to go into a hospital but are not put there due to people understating the severity of the illness and that misunderstanding can cost lives if the need for treatment isn't acted upon soon enough.

[@janethennessy8290]

My heart just breaks for what you and the rest of the people that loved Maddie have had to endure.. Your decision to make this video is something that could potentially save the life of others going through this horrible disease. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a person with such astounding academic, athletic, and personal strength , yet could just not stop this inner demon no matter how hard she tried. Thank you for sharing Maddie’s story .. I pray that time will ease your pain ❤

[@anitas5817]

But that drive to be a high achiever is part of the pathology. The perfectionism. The “I have to do better, I’m never good enough.”

[@Hottool365]

RIP, her parents really did try but it’s up to the individual. It’s very sad because she seemed so sweet.

[@JenessaAndKingston]

Its interesting and heartbreaking how she didnt look as sick as she was. Makes you wonder how eugenia cooney is still alive in the condition she is in.

[@_fairybones]

I was thinking the same thing. Eugenia got covid and it hardly made her sick, so crazy!

[@stuff1784]

I truly don’t understand how she’s alive

[@JenessaAndKingston]

@@stuff1784 me either! But she won’t be for long because people like eugenia do not live to grow old. She is so emaciated. But i agree its a mystery to me how she has survived this long.

[@miscellaneouscell]

Probably because Eugenia’s ED started in her early childhood years and her growing body got used to food and nutrition deprivation. Her life style will still reduce her life expectancy, but her body is a lot more resilient than someone who starts an ED in late teens or early adulthood.

[@JenessaAndKingston]

@@miscellaneouscell yes I’ve thought the same. If you look at kids in very poor countries with no food it’s similar. I guess that is all their body knows. But like i said someone like that will never grow old. Which i also believe that has alot to do with eugenia. I think she has a peter pan like syndrome where she is afraid of growing up- growing old. Hence why she behaved like a child in a room full of stuffed animals, the high pitched voice, dressing like a teenager. That makes the most sense to me. It will be a sad day when shes gone.

[@dianerichards6015]

What a beautiful young woman Maddie was, I'm so sorry she left you so young, she had her whole life ahead of her. So sorry for you loss.

[@charlenemack7040]

Karen Carpenter has been gone for over 40 years… And this is still going on, it’s terribly sad. It’s only in the last five years that I’ve been able to listen to any music by The Carpenters! Karen had the voice of an angel. I believed that when she was alive, and even more so after her passing… It’s still saddens me! 🙏😇✝️🎶🎵🎶

[@pegaso4ever]

Being a survivor, I wish my parents were so caring as you , thanks for sharing

[@absulte0]

This hit me so hard as someone whose 23 fighting anorexia, I have a binge/purge subtype but I feel like there’s no hope, I’ve tried recovery, I’ve tried even just maintaining a comfortable weight but it’s like throwing fire into the flame, it settles for a bit but the relapse is like an explosion, it comes with a vengeance and it consumes you. Its like in movies when characters think they killed the monster but then it comes back even angrier. It’s destroyed so many aspects of my life, it’s caused me to isolate myself from people and avoid interaction, it’s completely ruined some relationships I had with people. I’m aware it’ll kill me if I don’t recover but I just can’t and it’s so frustrating because I don’t know why I can’t.

[@harbimidiyosunkanka]

Let's switch minds for 3 months. I'm a 260 lb binge eater (used to be bulimic) and I desperately need my brain to switch to that of an anorexic's with that strong willpower.

[@boahsarah4929]

You have to address whatever it is that makes you feel like you're not good enough.. suppressed trauma or feeling like you're not in control...you weren't born like this, your true self knows that food and a healthy body is good for you. Please don't loose hope and be gentle with yourself.

[@a.v.6158]

COMINg from a former anorexic who believes in God and how He would want me to eat., I leterally had to repeat this line everyday "God wants me to eat" and I am going to eat and literally something would go wrong when I do, and that would slump me, making me feel like I shouldn't eat. This went on for a about 1 1/2 months. Day in and day out. I listened to that slump feeling and the eating disorder voice grew. I needed to pray also. I needed to learn self-love and acceptance. I needed to change a lot of my ways of thinking and somehow with more vitamin B intake and eating, the voice disappeared. I say that to say, you can't give up, in the least cliche way possible. I don't know really about binging and purging and hope you find resources. But please, everything that you know is right for you to do for your health, do it! Even if that Ed voice makes you feel guilty. Also I 100% understand the isolation thing. You don't have to vocalize your disorder to those people but simply reaching out can change a lot. It did for me and it took memotnhs before I could reveal my eating disroder to them! Please continue to help yourself. You are doing a great job by being on here, acknowledging your disorder, and pleasseeee don't feel uncomfortable with your weight EVER!!!

[@getitoutofme]

I really encourage you to see a therapist but not with recovering from your ED being the only thing on your mind. If you go there looking for results quickly, you'll just feel worse, thinking "why haven't I recovered yet, is there any hope for me, why can't I do this". Instead really go with an open mind and dig deep into your childhood, things that have affected you, your mental health up to this point, any thoughts of not feeling good enough, and fears which are out of your control. There is likely something you haven't processed yet which is manifesting as self-harm and extreme control. If an ED is your coping mechanism for something, it'll be very hard to get rid of until you first uncover what you're coping with and then find more healthy strategies. Put in the work and you can recover and lead a healthy and happy life! I had an ED from age 15 to 22 and now I'm healthy, happy and recovered thanks to therapy :)

[@tamarabradberry9299]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[@alexandradavies1502]

My best friend had one and she pushed me away. I still think of her and miss her and hope she's well.

[@stephaniejoles4043]

So heartbreaking Thank you for being brave and sharing May God wrap his arms around your family and you feel His peace. ❤

[@tinkat2208]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your journey resonates with our life here in Australia. My daughter has anorexia and is 19 years of age. She has been battling this for 6 years. Thank you for sharing. It's such a complex and debilitating disease and very hard to combat. Peace and love to your family. xxxx

[@momandson439]

Sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter

[@hildadionne8184]

So sorry for such a terrible loss

[@jenf6489]

Bravo to this family for being honest and vulnerable

[@maddiethebaddie00]

This was a year ago, but I have to say. It hit me so hard. My name is also Maddie. I literally felt her story resonate SO DEEP in me. I don’t want her story to be mine. This is where things start to get better.

[@hardenmama1800]

You can do this!

[@OnPoint_Nutrition]

Heartbreaking. Know the signs & get help for your loved ones. Thanks to Maddie's parents for raising the awareness. May she rest in peace 😞

[@annawhite8853]

My daughter is 18 had eating disorder for last 3 years!! It such a battle been in and out hospital, in patient eating disorder stuff, thearpy. My daughter is also extremely bright and this story breaks heart it so my daughter. My daughter used be outgoing, friends and other things and eating disorder taken over life. It doesn’t matter how much therapy, hospital stays and other things she goes back starving herself. She even did inpatient class for 4 months and back starving self. My daughter is now 5’7 and less 100 pounds and not sure what else I can do with her being 18 years old.

[@judithwalker9694]

So sorry to hear what you and your daughter are going through.

[@kelleywyskiel8513]

I’m so sorry.. an eating disorder stays with you your entire life. So while you can find better health and wellness the actual food and weight voice stays on. I’m fifty and still struggle with dysmorphia and self shame of my body perceptions, but don’t starve myself anymore. There’s an obsession fixation and I turned mine toward an ashtanga yoga practice that started with a hot yoga practice when I was inpatient and 16 years old. It still took years and years to stop obsessing over how long I could go with out needing food even though I was doing better and better. But everyone is different and has to find what they really love to immerse their focus and training into. I had a patient for years in my clinics that was bulimic and all we could do was continue removing teeth until she ended up a 17 year old in full dentures. Which was what finally clicked for her to stop punishing herself. I wish you the best. Just keep loving her wherever she is with herself. Don’t ever give up on her.

[@ME-cd3bs]

@@kelleywyskiel8513 yoga also helped me as well. I wish the treatment was different and more effective but unfortunately recovery largely depends on the patient with the eating disorder themselves - nobody else can save them, just help and guide.

[@JenessaAndKingston]

😞 im so sorry for your loss. I just have no words to express. May God be with you & your daughter.

[@jademusic1211]

I'm so deeply sorry for your loss.😞💔 Thank you for sharing, and I send love and healing to you and your family.😔❤️❤️

[@whitebunny13]

the eyes of the father and the sadness will haunt me forever

[@somisomi62]

When I'm starving, the more i feel productive. I take care of my hygiene and skin care, the better i perform at school/work,clean my room, i have this feeling that i have to be kind and smile at everyone. My physical appearance and action that i'm showing outside is the total opposite of what is happening inside. Inside there's a candle slowly losing its fire. :(

[@sticklerforchange]

I hope that you seek help as you deserve a happy life.

[@mariadelangelcreations]

You deserve to be nourished. I’m struggling with anorexia too, it’s not easy to allow ourselves to feel like we deserve food. Sending you love ❤

[@a.v.6158]

same here for 17 days straight...until I had a fainting spell, rectal bleeding, heart palpitations.....don't let it get there! Research what fluids you can intake and then progress to solid foods,, save yourself from the false dream because you will run out if energy fumes

[@a.v.6158]

youre body is basically eating at itself...

[@pegaso4ever]

I am so sorry , this is lost of life thanks for sharing

[@mefcmsn]

My daughter almost died from an eating disorder. My heart breaks for this family. I’m so sorry

[@cynthiawilliamson5905]

So sorry for your loss!

[@luvelsie8074]

i am dealing with this mental sickness currently. i got scans and had to go to the ER. i begged for treatment, but my family just couldn't afford it. i'm still struggling mentally. it's this illness that makes you feel victorious for killing yourself. that makes you feel guilty for trying to literally keep yourself alive. there is nothing harder i have ever had to face in my life.

[@a.v.6158]

was in the same boat!! you describde it so well! something that heped me was repeating the line God wants me to eat errr day. Then i had to change my mindset from perfectionistic tendencies!! taking vitamin b complecx help and ofc combating mindset that eating was bad until I rewired my brain to crave and love food!

[@cathy5070]

I am so very sorry. The pain has to be unbearable. Peace and love to all.

[@melissapoole8580]

This broke my heart. What a beautiful girl. I am so sorry to her parents. I was crying with you. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@pauldupreez4473]

Sorry for your loss 💔

[@gissellevillegas3831]

Its hard to understand how something so instinctive and natural like feeding yourself to satiate hunger could shut down to the point of not wanting to eat anymore to the point of obsession. A terrible mental disorder

[@a.v.6158]

so rught!

[@nicholestroup1770]

My deepest sincerest condolences to her family and friends she seems like a beautiful amazing awesome young lady rest in peace

[@madimulhearn8219]

She sounds so sweet and incredible person, as someone with anorexia this breaks my heart and encourages me to keep continuing to fight in recovery, and even though this is so heartbreaking, it conveys such an important message, everyone invovled in helping her, including herself was so strong and incredible, may she rest in peace

[@rebeccav9969]

I'm sorry for your loss ... she sounds like an incredible soul!

[@chocmint]

i'm so sorry... very sad to watch. may she rest in peace.

[@kiaradevine1908]

As some one with an Ed, struggling to chose recovery This is terrifying to watch

[@a.v.6158]

as a recoverer, let this motivate you to start!

[@franklingua529]

I feel deeply sorry for the family's loss during the pandemic. And I know the disease is hard for me to understand at times like this. Such a tragedy to this young girl and her family.

[@jacquelynsmithee2088]

This is the story people really need to hear. Thank you for sharing your story with us. She was such a fighter. This illness is so hard to overcome. 💔

[@Cookieloafres]

I’ve starved myself from heart disease and diabetes. I’m only 127 pounds I’ve got skinnier. I feel so ugly about my body. I feel so dirty after a shower. I’ve got schizophrenia I get bullied in my head about my weight. And also with diabetes it’s harder to eat I feel sick every time I eat.

[@lillygregan2691]

Rip beautiful angel fly high and sending prayers to her and her family 💕

[@ajarnt9050]

I've been a healthy weight for 14 years but anorexia never stops trying to pull me back in. I have to constantly be aware of the little voice that promises happiness, outer beauty, and control. I HATED myself when it was in control. I'm currently in school to become a family therapist. I would love to find the answers to this sickness someday.

[@thecook8964]

Did you feel that if your weight was "under control" it relieved the anxiety you had about things you can't control?

[@ryanwinters802]

My name is Madi…I turned 23 this year..I’m waiting to be admitted into treatment, it’ll be my 3rd treatment for my anorexia. Before then I was in psych hospitals a handful of times…this was heartbreaking to watch but very eye opening..rip Maddie..I hope I can get treatment soon this would be devastating for my family 😢

[@gloriawaters1455]

I'm so so sorry for your loss of Maddie she was such a lovely girl on reading your story I think its because she was so special that she was chosen to go and be an angel to watch over other suffering people ❤ 💖

[@creativesoulwriter8864]

I wish people would understand what the mind of those with an eating disorder goes through. It's not fun. Looking at food as the enemy. Crying because you ate. Feeling like failure because of a number on a scale. Those around me just don't get it!

[@giuseppinasanger6410]

Feel so sad for the parents. I have heard that eating disorders are the hardest mental illness to recover from.

[@mimibee626]

It is about control, just like morbid obesity. They talk about the disease like it's a third person, but it isn't. The obituary alone shows how hard she would have to work to be perfect. The parents talked about perfection.

[@ankiefrankieful]

I get a weird feeling from her parents, even after her passing they are talking about her performance

[@shimmer8289]

Obesity imo is about lack of control,denial. Like putting the gas on the peddle the whole way home. As a person who was recently obese I didn't consider myself obese. The brains protective way of shielding the psyche. I got diabetes. I lost alot of weight thru very low calories, now I can't stop. I understand ur imppression of her mom and dad perhaps at this point it is still difficult to deal with the ugliness of ED and they wanted their baby to look *perfect* God bless them all.

[@thecook8964]

Perfection doesn't exist. Trying to control your life by obsessing about weight only gives you the illusion of control. Her parents should have given her permission to relax. & enjoy life. Competitiveness is a trap

[@iamhis5580]

I’m so so sorry. This is heartbreaking 💔

[@meghanmcgrath5699]

This is so sad. She sounds like an amazing young woman.

[@Bubble3320_]

Rest in peace Maddie, its horrible how she had to go through so much

[@haileymarvin8488]

I’m crying and i don’t even know Maddie! I’m so sorry she had went through that I’m sorry her family did too. I couldn’t imagine

[@gabrielareyesaviles1362]

Rest in peace, sweet Maddy 🩷

[@katie0303]

This is a very sad story. Rest in peace Madeline, your earthly struggles are over...

[@kitssch]

I blame it on a capitalist society. Show this to any country with real substance in their culture other than hustle and grind and they will say, what, people just start themselves to death in the richest country in the world?

[@petsandthingsilike]

This is so sad and awful, I'm so sorry your family is going through this.. she seemed like such a wonderful and sweet girl. Much love.. 💘

[@sukilui33]

It's insightful that even when she was a healthier weight, someone said he was the sickest girl I know. It's a insidious disease.

[@alyssaj.2659]

I battled anorexia for about a year when I was 13. So glad I recovered! It was tough

[@dalibofurnell]

Thank you for sharing this 💓

[@tocryindutch]

im turning 25 this year and i have the same body i had when i was 12. im around 95lbs now and i've never been heavier than 105. i don't count calories or restrict how much i eat anymore, but the fear of gaining weight is always there. it's like i fear looking my age, being an adult... it's ridiculous and sad, but it's how this shitty disorder works sometimes. im so deeply sorry for this family's loss.

[@medussa9395]

please just be aware that you won't gain anything. your body shut down most of those crucial extremes where you should've gained weight as a child. i'm so sorry to be reading this, i just hope that you will realise that your heart, health and peace are more important than your weight. just the fact that you had the courage to type this out shows how much of a strong and smart person you are. don't let it kill you. hugs

[@getitoutofme]

I recovered when I was 23 and I definitely went through a second puberty haha, I went from looking like a teenager to suddenly becoming a woman in the space of a couple of months. It's scary and uncomfortable, but growing up is supposed to be. Nobody can stay as a child forever, because then when you get old, you wouldn't have processed aging and it'll suddenly hit you. I really encourage you to get help from a counsellor or therapist so you can look into why you don't want to age - usually an ED is a symptom or manifestation of a deeper issue. It's not ridiculous or sad, everyone needs help with something at some point in their lives and we all have our own struggles to face :)