An INFJ's Struggle with Se (Extroverted Sensing)

[@rolom3]

If you haven't already, I'd be really interested in a video on infatuation, idolising people and projecting things onto people and then falling in love with the idea of them.

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

A walk everyday, YES. I "crave" the non-human contact for some time everyday, I'd love more of it. I need to take part of nature, the stillness, wisdom and intelligence of nature. It's so purifying, healing. Music added to these precious moments is so treasured too, but I also go without it as well. I relate also to the headphones usage to cut out all the human-made sound that is disturbing too much and often in the everyday life as it is. awesome video!

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

The indulging, yeeeeeeees.. All my life basically. I'm finally putting a stop to a whole lot of that. But when stressed in some kind of way, jeez, the subconscious habit and patterns enters my field so easily. I too took part of many and very risky activities before, not as much now but the "inner EsTP" is still in there, I can sense it in some shape or form everyday.

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

And yes, "Phases", for sure.

[@DeeDeex007o]

" YES. I "crave" the non-human contact for some time everyday" 💯

[@mabelrivera3992]

Hi Ren. Another great insightful video. I think you just explained why people always say "get out of your head and out into the world". It's not just someone judging me and the way I do things. It's actually really sound advice on how to exercise your weak Se. That's so helpful.

[@mtpianohearder]

Se is my lifelong nemesis. Over-indulgences at worst to clumsiness at best. I spent most of my 20's and 30's in the grip and have lots of scars to show for it.

[@wandering248]

My relationship with Se at various points in my life tends to be either complete indulgence in my senses or complete deprivation, neither of which is healthy, and it’s hard for me to achieve a balanced mode of living between Ni and Se. What I’m noticing lately about my once nonexistent Se is how it provides much of the energy to act. While Ni wants to sit inside and contemplate all day, Se is the force behind feeling physically active, strong and completely alive. It’s quite a foreign way of living to me, honestly, but I do try to address this by exercising more than I used to, and it really seems to help (as long as I don’t get stuck in my head like always, and remember to do it lol!)

[@Elfen41]

I think we use Se as comfort in a very difficult world

[@JayDaMusicLover]

Going on walks, especially during the spring, is one of my favorite pass times to do that makes me be in the moment. It allows me to appreciate the beauty around me and listen to all of the wonderful all natural music created from our earth. At first I always used to listen to music when I went for a walk, but a majority of the time I would always end up taking it out to just listen. Even when I went on walks with my friends I would always express how I loved the sights and sounds created from nature. I would even do this while I drive around with my windows down because it just felt right. Something I differ from you though is that I absolutely LOVE rain, although this may be because I live in a region where it is typical hot/dry and we rarely get rain. To me the sound and smell rain creates is absolutely bliss to my ears and nose. I think people associate rain with sadness and similar emotions, but personally I associate rain analogically with personal struggle and persevering through it. Everyone goes through a storm during their personal lives, but after persevering through it they will encounter brighter days. Cheesy I know lol, but that’s just the optimist inside of me wanting to see the positive side to things. I was wondering if anyone knows if enjoying oddly satisfying sounds pertains to Se. Personally, I find certain sounds like popping bubble wrap and chiropractic adjustments really pleasant to my ears, but noises like people chewing loudly to be quite bothersome. Also, if any of you do like oddly satisfying sounds, share some sounds some sounds so I can give them a listen lol. Great video Ren!

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

oh how much I relate to this comment!!

[@JayDaMusicLover]

TheAwakenedINFJ Glad to see I am not the only one! 😊

[@sunraysmountains8087]

Hello Ren. Good topic you chose. In theory [& it seems to corralate with reality] in theory, the first function being the primary one, is holding the King's position over the rest of the cognative functions. That of course is the correct & self preserving attitude fore any independent body; is to have control over its parts; otherwise a person would be at loss between the different methods to accomplishing any given thing. There must be a singular decision making entity & process or else chaos will overtake the undecisive. That is why there is a natural push from the primary cognative function (N) to its opposing function (S); for feer of interference sabotaging the dominant function's intent & authority in rule. What we are naturally left with in our cognative conscious stack is the 4rth function being flung away to where the primary function feels adequately safe; and with that, the forth function while holding the same nature as the Dominant, will not be allowed the same attitude as the King's (ruler's). So with the INFJs' & INTJs' 1rst cognitive function being intrerverted, the fourth shall only be allowed, the extraverted attitude, hence it is Se, not Si. For some reason, the 4rth function is never at peace with its inferior role, and is always waiting for the chance to take over the Cognitive rule, making itself the dominant function, seeing as, it feels: as responsible as the 1rst function, and feels it should be the one representing, ruling, and calling the shots; so it usually doesn't comply. Naturally, a person finds his or herself attached to both the King and to the forth ever defiant cog function who still sees himself the one rightfully representing the mental functions. With the never ending struggle found between them both, we find owerselves in a love hate relationship with our 4rth (Se) cog function. We yearn for its rein, but feel it's temporary rule overwhelming. We are used to the Ni's way of things and the Ni rules. Tarik (INFJ)

[@Elfen41]

I think my weaknesses with Se is expressed through my clumsiness. I'll buck my toe over literally EVERYTHING. I buck up into walls, chairs. I live in a coastal town too. I love the ocean. I actually think I need to be able to see a lovely body of water for mental relaxation. I also think the ocean and rivers have a life of their own. Storms as well.

[@gentrisbb]

I'm always knocking something in the toilet off the bathroom counter. If it can break, I'm sure I'll knock it over or spill it. In public people would say "wow did you see that" I'm like "see what"? Due to me being somewhere else in my head daydreaming of what could be or reflection of the past totally missing present moments

[@diatomshells]

Se for me is definitely feeling more present but also being mindful or practicing mindfulness. I have an estp SO and it could be that being together has developed my Se a little bit. I used to be extremely idealistic, theoretical, knowledge seeking, future focused, reading all the time, but have noticed these things have become less so in me. I will say I didn’t force it to be the case, it just happened that way naturally. Maybe forcing it is where it could become dangerous for us? Just a thought.

[@domc40]

Good description of the Se grip...I can relate about doing risqué things. I also had my rave phase, with all the bad aspects that goes with it. Loud noises, bright lights are stressing me. Nothing beats an overcast day Forgetting to eat, drink...too busy in that Ni-Ti loop...I’m quite good at Ti, I think As I tell my psychiatrist, cut my head and place it on the fireplace mantel, and let me be in my mind Almost forgot...overly sensitive to people’s vide

[@havefun3470]

Great video. The way you explained everything was so easy to understand. Thanks

[@RensRoom]

Thank you :)

[@melanie.l6282]

i don't have nature around me at the moment and i miss it A LOT!!!i find my creativity comes alive when i am surronded by nature.when i was studying at University i would take the car drive to the beach and just watching the waves of the ocean all the words i had to write would come faster in my mind that i could write or going seat in the middle of the trees i would get inspired to write poems or a song.my mind does become so still when i am surrended by nature and then the creativity comes through;i shun away as much as i can from loud noises.i had an hearing test i have hyperhearing,hypersensitivity to bright lights even the sun.. i bought polorized sunglassses because they reflect off more brightness than normal sunglasses.my battle is to bring my mind to stillness.overthinking about the meaning of life.one of my passion is astronomy.i mention in another comment i cannot sit to meditate in a group because i "pick up" every one sorrows so i have decide to start a martial art to still my mind this way i would be concentrating on my actions instead of the passive meditation.I hope it will work

[@mandyvincent1439]

I am very similar in reactions to SE ...I indulge in sweets and Pepsi zero sugar. I will obsess with the organization of our home and 'scrubbing the scrubbing ' as my Irish Great Gran used to say. Once I have pulled myself out of the SE grip, I nap and lounge around with our rescue pup. My response to my music tastes has always been 'it depends on what mood I am in' hahahaha I also listen to a wide variety of genres of music, where as my infp husband tends to favor one or two genres. Love your videos. Very happy that you are back.

[@kristin_NZ]

for years before i could drive, i would have recurring dreams about having to try and drive a strange car in a strange location with difficult traffic conditions. Today i can drive but i like to study maps and know the routes etc. even so, i tend to be a terrible navigator and to still get lost, and when i do, i pretty much have a meltdown, just cannot cope! the other thing is, i have waaaaay too many clothes.

[@elenajohansson8396]

I'm having a Ni moment, sorry lol I feel you.

[@45Seconds2Mars]

I tend to stick to low impact exercises. Google Mark Sisson. He used to do marathon runs and he now recommends walking and sprints than jogging. Running can be hard on joints and back. I knew a jogger who had back surgery in her 30s. I avoid Diet Coke because it makes me hungry. I drink mostly coffee, tea, water, and some milk and juice. Speed, wind, and cold brings me into the present moment. Driving, riding motorcycle or horse with wind in face, cold water or ice on face, dancing (highly recommend), and fast action hand reflex such as playing ball or sparring. I used to play ball with my ISTP brother. Spar, hike, sex, and drives with my ISTP ex. Dance a lot with my ENFJ friend. I think I was in a Se grip quite often in my teens and early 20s hitting the club indulging in drinking and dancing. I tend to do better going for walks with a good friend and talking while walking. I was more perfectionistic in my surroundings when I was younger but grew out of that quickly when having a kid.

[@monicatowers5641]

My INFJ functions are very low Se and Ti and I’m a true spazz when I get stressed🥴🔨 I just recently took another “Type” test that again resulted in INFJ, but also gave me a breakdown of my functions, but I am not sure what to make of them?? Ni Fe Te Ne Si Fi Se Ti Apparently I have an Extroverted stack sandwiched between two Introverted functions?? Yet the infamous “Ni Ti” loop that I’ve heard many INFJ’s speak of feels familiar to me and now I’m not even sure that my function stack is Ni Ti “loop-worthy??” LoL🤯😂🔫

[@Heruwath007]

Don't get to complicated dude. People do not understand the Ni moment or how it works, even when you explained it previously. Try to gasp what you subconsciousness tells you and how. Try to explain it to the audience. You did it well with the video, where you explained the INFJ stare. Do not rely on people knowing what you did in the past, but to make sure they understand you. Otherwise you will lose attention.