MST3k 502 - Hercules

[@Aliensk8er72]

"Hi we came to get Scruffy our pet lion. Oh my God!" I love Joel so damn much.

[@ShinGallon]

"Looks like it's a big brawny hairy glistening two fisted manly day!" remains probably my favorite MST3K line of all time.

[@analogkid01]

Very much a precursor to "Boobular Toobular Joy," definitely!

[@jeffreyriley8742]

My favorite in this is, "I'm Herc and I'm irked."

[@carlabamford9154]

I'm going to work that line into my next conversation!

[@gregoryflothe4995]

8:19 -- "Wait, this is ancient Greece. They didn't have ruins yet." Ha ha! I saw this in the theater when I was 10, it was already a classic! Thank you MST3K for the constant funny comments!!!

[@LoneKharnivore]

S'wrong, though. Even Classical Greece had a history.

[@graemesmith6721]

Iole's maid is played by Lucianna Paluzzi, who went on to play SPECTER assassin Fiona Volpe in "Thunderball," as well as Lisa in "The Green Slime." The movie's lighting and special effects are by Mario Bava, who directed many Italian movies, including "Planet of the Vampires," and was famous for his brilliant, vibrant lighting, causing some to call him "the Roman god of color."

[@devinreese1397]

Her maid isn't really shown in this cut? Mario Bava shot Herc. and the Captive Women? And he directed Herc. and the Haunted World.

[@graemesmith6721]

@@devinreese1397 Isn't that her at 47:33?

[@CJVS995]

Huh more you know

[@TheShotgun2ce]

I'd say both Joel and Mike had their moments, and their flops, doesn't change the fact that they were both fantastic hosts, writers, and comedians. :D

[@crashdive100]

Steve Reeves was a truly amazing physical specimen and that's his real voice in this flick. It was recently revealed that Reeves was George Pal's first choice for Doc Savage in 1975. Not to take anything away from Ron Ely, who was very good, but Reeves as Doc Savage would have been incredible. It probably wouldn't have saved the movie, but Reeves was built just like James Bama's illustrations of Doc in the 60s and 70s and at that point in history no one had ever seen a living person with that sort of musculature.

[@Blizzard-kf3qm]

That’s not his real voice. The studio didn’t think his real voice was manly enough so they had another actor dub him; as was the norm for Italian films back then.

[@zoeyrochellezhombie829]

Amazing? Seriously?

[@JoseBronxRican]

15:59 - "Listen..." 19:13 - "You better listen to what I have to say..." 28:55 - "Now concentrate and listen to me..." 29:56 - "Remember what I'm going to say..." 30:03 - "Listen..." 34:29 - "Listen to what I say to you..." 37:14 - "Listen to me, Iole..." 38:53 - "Now listen to me..." 43:55 - "Listen to what I have to say..." 44:19 - "Listen, Iole..." 54:28 - "Now you listen to what I tell you..." 1:17:03 - "Listen..." One of those eps where I can have fun outside the riffs. I seen enough kung fu dubs to expect certain quirks and patterns after Chinese dialogue is translated and re-written ("but still"); in this case, I ended up noticing all the variations on "listen" used to extend dialogue from the original Italian script!

[@trtaylor29]

JoseBronxRican. Ha!Thanks for this. I'm going to listen for the listens now!

[@HylianFox3]

I smell a drinking game

[@LoneKharnivore]

Translations by Navi.

[@brettvv7475]

That's funny. I couldn't help but notice all of the "listen"s as well.

[@faithfulgrl]

@@HylianFox3 🚀 I'm always up for a drinking game!🍺🍻

[@mindlessgonzo]

With the passing of Betty White earlier this year, now the Match Game bit is 100% accurate.

[@faithfulgrl]

Steve Reeves. The most talented of any Hercules. It doesn't hurt that he is so very handsome. 💋He's my hero

[@Xskills16]

If you think about it, the smartphone is the cellular desk.

[@Scooter7598]

I Love all the hercules episodes

[@brettvv7475]

I do too.

[@greenranger8884]

I do three.

[@MAZAROTHofSuramar]

Every movie should have an [MST3K] button.

[@majorsmind]

EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

[@brettvv7475]

Agreed.

[@holyshard530]

It's like the show never ended..

[@notinspectorgadget]

LISTEN UP HOLLYWOOD

[@AdamWestish]

Netflix feature for 2021

[@travishimebaugh8381]

Little did Jason know, he had not in fact hired Hercules, the demigod hero of Thebes, but _Herman Cleese_, FDA Inspector from Boston and Freemason in good standing who's bringing the pasta salad to the next lodge meeting

[@meowistforlife]

Well the guy should do a good inspection at least

[@jonilougy6608]

Ok, you're just freeking awesome 😂

[@twizz420]

@@meowistforlife not if he works for the FDA

[@AdamWestish]

Is that John's brother? If so, check out the awesome Silly Walks he does.

[@faithfulgrl]

You know those Freemason's they always bring the lime green jello with cottage cheese. The kids like it.🥗

[@ravensthatflywiththenightm7319]

Looking back, I sure wish they had a longer run and perhaps covered more Hercules films. There were so many and so riffable.

[@aureliovaca540]

Steve Reeves isnt dead.still lives at mst3k

[@MSTe98]

That "Match-Game" sketch was deep, man; deep.

[@Lugnut73]

53:03 flashbacks of Zapp Brannigan when he meets the Amazons. "Death by Snu-Snu" 😂

[@InfernalSpawnODOOM]

29:53 Ulysses is the Roman name for Odysseus, who after Odyssey-ing, came back and restrung his bow, and killed all the dudes who were trying to pork his wife. I guess a bow did decide his fate.

[@chuithrowaway1677]

Every movie should have an [MST3K] button.

[@ElazarY]

@@chuithrowaway1677 true. I’d love to see their goofy commentary over modern movies like the new bad Wonder Woman movie

[@willf.4590]

Mrgknao

[@Xebelan]

@@ElazarY that's what they made Rifftrax for. Same guys.

[@j3lny425]

Castor and Pollux were Roman right?

[@StellarMarvel]

Nothing beats a Steve Reeves MST3K/The Film Crew movie

[@memyself1407]

Stellar Marvel your hot

[@backwaterbounty]

you're* hot

[@polartechie]

"Where is the sampo!?" I actually died

[@mayhaps1]

+PolarTechie good to know you can still watch mst3k in the afterlife

[@Jitterzz]

Yeah, that legitimately made me laugh out loud too. It's a perfect reference to another hilarious movie.

[@jeffmowgli4866]

Was it pleasing?

[@troywright359]

ONLY A SAMPO!!!!!!

[@AROBASPARK]

Crow_ "Wait; this is ancient Greece, they didn't ruins yet" lol

[@tantalus0971]

Trace really brings some surreal brilliance in "Give 'em Hell, ____!"

[@brettvv7475]

Am I the only one that loves these old movies almost as much as the riffs?

[@jeffreyriley8742]

I love these Hercules films, especially Hercules Unchained.

[@GenY42]

They are nostalgic and charming

[@zombiepi]

I love Joel so much it makes my heart hurt.

[@generalzod8589]

Me to. Nothing against Mike though.

[@MelodyMeanFace]

You're into that "nerd" look, huh? Mike was the hot one.

[@cliffbooth1029]

I can be just like Joel I swear

[@mehitablestorm8877]

Me too!!! Mike's okay, nothing against him, but Joel was so sweet & kind of goofy & I loved how creative he was & how he was such a sweet "dad" to the bots. Just a real nice guy and very adorable!!!

[@spookyminds4538]

1:31.50 Hi we came to get Skruffy our pet lion. OH MY GOD!

[@PGTRegard]

Favorite line by far.

[@JohnAvengerJR1985]

The dinosaur's roar is from the original Godzilla.That's awesome!

[@yvonnerousseau2238]

Hercules is a 90's woman. :) Does anyone else start watching a regular movie and wait for the riffs, and have to remind yourself it's not an MST3K show?

[@jeffreyriley8742]

+Yvonne Rousseau Constantly. I do my own riffs when I'm watching a movie or TV show by myself or with friends.

[@yvonnerousseau2238]

Me, too, my friend. :D

[@quester09]

same

[@LumpsPlays]

Regular movies DO have riffs! www.rifftrax.com Courtesy Mike, Kevin, & Bill! And sometimes some other random comedians...

[@mazel34]

1:21:00 Huh, a giant Greek warrior fighting people with chains. Why does that seem so familiar?

[@wellesradio]

I'd watch this movie even without the riffing. Low budget but certainly of a higher quality than the usual dreck they make fun of. At least the cast and crew seemed competent in directing and acting.

[@nicholasmoose6574]

I like a lot of the movies on MST3K. (In fact back in the 90's I STARTED watched MST3K because it was the only way to see some of these films. Though of course, I fell in love with the riffing right away.) The movie itself doesn't have to be "bad" to make for a good riffing experience. (Rifftrax even did Casablanca!) I really like a lot of the 50's and 60's "teen drama" type movies they did. Even when the stories are good, all that dated slang makes for plenty of opportunity for mockery!

[@devinreese1109]

This first one is a great movie, with the best of the designs. Herc. Unchained as well, was good. However quality was lessening. Reg Park and Captive women is pretty silly, but a good change. The first one perhaps and unchained are more works of art.

[@WalkerRileyMC]

There are quite a few films they did that could be considered quality films but were trashed when translated for american audiences.

[@LoneKharnivore]

The Day The Earth Froze, for example.

[@brettvv7475]

Right? I love these old movies.

[@TheBonkleFox]

Halfway through this movie i became confused as to why this movie is called hercules when the story is about Jason and The Argonauts.

[@aidenfindley8918]

"Oh well I guess I'll see what Sampson is up to."

[@bfdidc6604]

Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

[@DrGull1888]

I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry.

[@nina1522]

@@DrGull1888 I'll get you a satanic mechanic.

[@markmitchell2877]

Let's go down to the lab... ...and see what's on the slab

[@wkanost]

Bfdidc - It’s older now.

[@Jesse__H]

I see you quiver with antici---

[@HylianFox3]

this movie didn't have enough shirtless men in tiny skirts for my tastes

[@psyQuantum]

Same

[@notinspectorgadget]

*"do ya like gladiator movies, Billy?"*

[@A_Person5280]

@Alphonso Stouall I don’t have a girlfriend to have an Instagram to hack. Thanks for reminding me 😢

[@DrummerGrrrl]

Gypsy has so much personality. "She" is so cute.

[@coolcody1995]

"Hey, we came to get Scruffy our pet lion!"

[@TomMSTie1138]

This might be the first episode where they had to fill a long end credit sequence with something, like the fight from the end of Space Mutiny.

[@kristindell267]

"Kibbles and Bits Kibbles and bits, gotta get me some Kibbles and Bits!"

[@ShinGallon]

As corny and cheesy as these Hercules movies were, they still have a sense of fun and personality. I find them much more enjoyable than the soulless dirge that came out with Kellan Lutz. That one was so abysmal I didn't even watch the one with The Rock...

[@devinreese1109]

the versions with steve reeves and reg park are pretty good in design, especially the steeve reeves ones, but, they have some laughible special effects. the italians were pretty good at imagining greek antiquity. Its partially in their blood. italy was settled by greeks originally.

[@orinanime]

The one with the Rock was surprisingly entertaining. Just as melodramatic, silly, and psuedo serious as the 2 Steve Reeves movies.

[@andymackie8283]

Huge LOL at the constellations skit..."Guernica!"

[@melmo112083]

Can't directly reply, but the lyrics to the song actually ARE "don't pull your love out on me, baby." Pretty good song too. And now it's stuck in my simple head. Of course.

[@williammatthews693]

I loved the kind of random conversations Joel and the bots found themselves in.

[@bazzer124]

~29:00 - neat subtle reference to Ulysses' return to Ithaca and Penelope's challenge to her suiters.

[@sagerider2]

Favorite quotes. Hercules can sure clear a room. This is a weird chain of events. Now, he'll be dragging those around the house. I'm Herk & I'm Irked. He just invented the weed whipper. Chains don't kill people, Hercules kills people. Boy, Herk can really clear a room. This morning a lone chain man terrorized downtown Athens. No motive was apparent.

[@viewtiful1doubleokamihand253]

Crow adressing Betty White seems so... profound now.

[@theempyrean1227]

@ 9:16, 'Have I mentioned that I have an extra set of balls?"

[@Maladjester]

"Andrea Dworkin memorial cemetery" It's a good thing I didn't have anything in my mouth.

[@CliffordPeters]

If you want something visual, that's not too abysmal, we can take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

[@TheThisIsMe2010]

"I'm Herc, and I'm irked." 👌👌👌

[@moondancekid1]

I had no idea Misties would tare each other apart over politics. The great thing about fans of this show is no matter what their background, they have good taste and a good sense of humor. oh god my new years resolution was to try to stop being reasonable on the internet... I learned almost too late that man was a feeling creature :(

[@nikolasblodgett8933]

politics is an ugly subject, along with religion, and should not be discussed in public. An old lesson rediscovered by one not taught it specifically. An observation at the most basic level. It goes more than double for the anonymouness of the world wide interwebs

[@kimifw58]

Michael Bolton must have been a popular punching bag in the 1990s. Him and Kenny G.

[@quester09]

also John Tesh and Paula Abdul.

[@zoeyrochellezhombie829]

My 5th grade teacher played Kenny G when we did classwork.

[@GoblinXXX]

I wasn't talking about THIS movie, but the 1983 HERCULES starring Lou Ferrigno. Compared to the 1983 film, THIS version is CASABLANCA. THIS has real locations-- Everything in the 1983 film is cheap and plastic-looking (including the leading lady, Sybil Danning.)

[@sleepyhollow783]

Expressing agreement with blvp2145, through sarcasm, to have these conversations left out of the comment section. You helped illustrate the point that by starting these dam threads they lead to endless unneeded, "unclassy" name calling & insults & for that "I thank you". (-=

[@cora1334]

33:46 "Hiiii, we came to get Scruffy, our pet lion - OH MY GAWD!!"

[@tacitus6384]

"A woman isn't complete without a man!" I'm just picturing this line in a major movie today. The volcanic eruption on twitter could power half of America for a year.

[@apollofell3925]

Fast forward to now when the collective outrage over the Barbie movie has been on for nearly a month and it's not even called twitter anymore

[@ElveeKaye]

"Your tunic is open in the rear, I can see your bike rack," had me spitting out my lunch! X>D 46:00 The most clean-shaven crew in the history of sailing. 1:02:24 I love the women's "This is the worst dates we've ever had" expressions! I've never seen a movie with more buffalo shots than this one. Did they really HAVE to give the men such short skirts??

[@Ratraccoon]

Don't you know why so many sword and sandal movies have those?

[@AdamWestish]

The shorter the better!

[@faithfulgrl]

It's a trip back to the 70's. Shorts were that. The guys looked ridiculous. Things just falling out 😝 Us girls in our "Hot Pants" Very sluty. 🎶 "We Love short shorts!"🎶

[@jeffgovernale7062]

Godzilla's wrestling-style kick gets me every time!

[@TomMSTie1138]

Wow, that Sylva Koscina was hot!

[@generalzod8589]

👍❤️

[@cavalierfan1995]

aim before you wind up keep your left arm straight and watch the direction and intensity of the wind it aint over till its over watch the tops of the trees and have some fun

[@turb05]

"Well, they're not Amazons, but 'When in Rome' fellas!"

[@genoami777]

On Joel v. Mike, I'd have to say... neither, actually. They had two different approaches, and were each funny in their own right. Joel tends to be more deadpan (much like Will Wright or Demetri Martin, and their ilk) and focuses a lot on prop shtick. Mike is more energetic, and focuses more on situational gimmicks. Joel doesn't emote at enough at times, while Mike comes off as cheesy at other times. Both great, both funny.

[@glentodd6064]

ive watched these movies for 50yrs and just realized the men are wearing miniskirts

[@IliyaMoroumetz]

This is truly one of the great Joel era movies! A pity there weren't more of these kinds of movies during the Sci-Fi era.

[@YolkSandwich]

33:14 "Aw, Herc, I was KIDDING."

[@MarcStjames-rq1dm]

Best version of Joel's intro song!!!! Love it!

[@dolandblanford4641]

29:45 “What’s new pussycat, whoa.” It took me ten minutes to stop laughing the first time I saw it.

[@joypopoola6115]

Great episode! Great riffing and the movie was not that bad!

[@legok6037]

36:39 lol watching this on the 4th of July

[@TheAdamewing]

Sometimes a sandal is just a sandal.

[@dianaAthemiscyra]

He lost his sandal aiding an old lady cross a river. The old lady turned out to be Hera in disguise. She was his protectress.

[@TheImperiusv]

26:22 Hey look, Hercules was history's first senpai!

[@mariakelly1059]

Fun Fact: Peter Lupus, who played Willie Armitrage on Classic Mission Impossible, once appeared in an Italian Hercules movie under the name Rock Stevens.

[@goldenager59]

Even funner fact: The movie cited, "Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon", made notable use of leftover footage from the big-budget Stewart Granger movie, The Last Days of *Sodom and Gomorrah* from 1962. 😄 😎

[@colosal30]

I just started seeing MST3k.... and I love it! It's fun even if the movie sucks... In fact, if it sucks, the better....

[@troywright359]

12:35 "And the horses, don't forget about us!" They'd actually be good doing a kids show

[@kokosnood]

"Well they're not Amazons, but when in Rome"

[@TheKingFriday]

Lol, i made the little beep noise after tom did his "broadcast day"joke too! hahah

[@AcoskyFilms]

Pretty please with Herc on top?

[@tuberobotto]

I like how Joel and the bots poke fun at the late 60s Hare Krishna subculture in the US. Really funny with the tambourine. "My sweet lord.... mah, my sweet lord" - George Harrison.

[@greenranger8884]

OH, WE"VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!!!!

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

30:47 obviously, this dude’s never heard about the time Heracles threw A BEAR INTO OUTER SPACE

[@mah7961]

I tried calling that number from the ITT technical institute, only to get another no longer in service tone.

[@TziporaCat]

Hey we came to get Scruffy our pet lion- OH MY GOD!!

[@kurtb8474]

This was the first MST3K I saw. That was back around 1999 I think.

[@JPMadden]

Dr. Forrester's cellular desk was the first smartphone.

[@amcint01]

Oh look, at 1:18:30, Herc is sleeping. That's ^so^ new for these movies :P

[@troywright359]

The other guy spacecheif who ha suploaded a lot of episodes, disabled all comments......so many musings lost forever

[@martythemartian99]

13:49 When they started singing the theme to Peabody's Improbable History, I totally geeked out with joy :D

[@tbohrer01]

Tom Servo "Claude Balls ladies & gentlemen" 😂

[@GoblinXXX]

That 1983 flick was also just called HERCULES-- "Bad" doesn't begin to describe it! That was the first movie I ever walked out of, within the first 20 minutes.

[@stuflames4769]

~Panning over a herd of goats~ "Oh, I hope *they* aren't Herc's mortal weaknesses." Wow. LMAO. Starting off savage.

[@BrennerBay]

The box of " Capt'n Ron " that Joel is eating...Kurt Russell played Captain Ron in the movie, the box has a picture of Patrick Swayze with an eye patch.

[@GregDad100]

It's not Patrick Swayze, it's Kurt Russell ...

[@ElveeKaye]

1:12:57 HEY!! That's GODZILLA'S roar!! Those damn, dirty thieves!

[@Ghostwalker2061]

Yup, that really was Godzilla's roar.

[@JohnAvengerJR1985]

+ElveeKaye I know but hearing it made me smile!

[@gohawks3571]

At least it wasn't a Wilhelm scream, although that would be really funny!

[@Oppeldeldoc1]

Yes and they're also the "Lemnian Women" if you read the Argonauts story. This movie was pretty clever about mixing those things. The only thing is, this movie and Jason and the Argonauts get the dragon killed. The original story is nicer to it!

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

I don't know why movies always make Amazons man-haters. The original myth just had the Amazons as a roll-reversal; strong warrior women and small nurturing men

[@LoneKharnivore]

*role-reversal

[@menachemsachemrobotscowitz2794]

"It's the Bataan sex march." - Htom Sirveaux

[@prometheusunbound7628]

"Hi, uh...he broke."

[@analogkid01]

I get the feeling Ron Swanson loved this movie as a child.

[@Blake-ul8dd]

I love this old ones.

[@viewtiful1doubleokamihand253]

“Several years after the eruption…” “Excuse me ?”

[@MSTe98]

Those Amazons are so great!

[@fredonline1]

"I hope my beverage works!"

[@aureliovaca540]

saw this movie as an 8 yr.old still brings bitching memories

[@pigeonmaster1]

I love those closing credits.